May 13, 2025 • 34 mins
Testimony is underway in the case against Sean “P. Diddy” Combs. National Correspondent RORY O’NEILL recaps the story.
White House Correspondent JON DECKER shares the latest on what President Trump hopes to accomplish in his trip to the Mideast and the latest news from the Oval Office.
Legendary humorist and syndicated columnist Dave Barry on his new memoir Class Clown, and the importance of never growing up!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, it's me Michael. Your morning show can be heard
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Enjoy the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Starting your morning off right.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
A new way of talk, a new way of understanding,
because we're in this together.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This is your morning show with Michael o'bill Jordan.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
All alarm clock's going off everywhere seven minutes after the hour,
Shuffle your way into the kitchen, grab that cup of coffee.
Let's see what we got on our plate at America's
Christmas at Chris Breakfast Table. If you're just waking up,
it is a boy. I would love it for it
to be Christmas. That'd be off for two weeks. It
is Tuesday, May the thirteenth. You have our Lord twenty
twenty five. The President got a royal welcome in Saudi Arabia.
(00:58):
Is three day mid East piece trip could end in
Turkey with Putin Zelensky and Trump all meeting together in person.
The balls in Putin's court, of course, and the hostage,
who was the last remaining living American tied hostage held
by Hamas has been released at his home in New Jersey.
(01:18):
And the first day in the sex trafficking trial of
Sean Ditty Combs involving the jury hearing some very graphic testimony.
I'm going to leave the graphicness up to Roy O'Neill
and spare me great good morning. It was.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
It was, it was, yeah, and it's going to get
a lot worse today, right I acknowledging everyone's just trying
to have their morning coffee. Let's just say a security
guard and a male prostitute with the two opening witnesses yesterday. Today,
we're expected to hear from Cassie Ventura. She's Ditty's ex girlfriend.
She is the woman in that video that's shown outside
(01:55):
the elevators where Diddy appears to be assaulting her in
that lobby area of the hotel, and she's expected to
testify probably the rest of the week about how she
claims she was drugged and forced into these freak off
events that would drag on for days at a time
and essentially making the case that it was not consensual.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, because that's the key in one of them that
you know, I'll word it. Apparently he would make her
have sex with the male prostitute while he watched. The
question is was she drugged and didn't have a say
in that particular freak cough and you say it could
get worse?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
What could get worse?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
And then kind of dust out for them what is
pertinent to his character and patterns versus the charges Because
we've yet to people are going to be misled on
connecting those dots. I mean, you may hear a lot
of awful things about Diddy, but they may not be
things he's being charged with.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Well, right, and that's actually the case that the defense
is making, saying that, yeah, he's a violent pervert, but
what he didn't do these federal crimes, because remember this
is happening in federal court. He's facing five federal charges,
including sex trafficking, transportation to engage in prostitution, and racketeering.
So the defense is essentially going to say, yeah, he's
(03:19):
a scumbag, but it doesn't necessarily meet the criteria of
these federal charges. So that's a narrow path to walk.
And we're going to hear now from this woman who's
going to probably testify to some pretty explicit events that happen,
they say repeatedly during their relationship that lasted several years.
So we'll see if the defense can get any daylight
(03:42):
in here, but essentially portraying Diddy as a bad person,
but they're saying not a criminal, and where he's going
to be. Back in the third hour, we're going to
look at what was a complete recovery from Liberation Day
and then some if you're going to compare April first
to yesterday, but the market swared in the US and
it's soaring globally. Roy, you'll have that story for you
(04:04):
coming up in the third hour. All right, we were.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Talking about the President getting a really king's welcome in
Saudi Arabia. I mean the Saudi Prince met him on
the tarmac. That is unheard of. They normally, you know,
just typically send a province governor or another official to
greet foreign leaders upon arrival and they don't actually see
(04:28):
the prince until they get to the castle. But that
was different for Trump. And then we were talking about
earlier this morning when we were live on the air.
They were just lined up forever, one at a time,
coming up to meet him. So a king's welcome in
Saudi Arabia for Donald Trump. He'll also visit Cutter and
the United Arab Emirates, Israel and Iran is probably, in
(04:52):
terms of the Middle East, the biggest question. But I mean,
you know, let's just spitball here. What are some of
the things that the president could be covering in these
three areas Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates and Cutter. Well,
there's trade and there'll be a lot of talk about that,
and the notion that if we weren't there in a
(05:15):
great relationship, China would be. So that part is big.
The other part that I'd be curious to be a
fly on the wall is remember the president's vision for
what to do with the Gaza. Now, I don't know
that he wanted to set up the riviera of the
Middle East, but I do think he wants to try
to break this pattern, which is to say that you
(05:36):
have sponsored terrorist organizations funded by Iran creating trouble in
this region. Now, at some point, for the Palestinians in
that territory, you got to hold them responsible when you say, well,
you keep electing them into power. I mean, if you
(05:57):
give Hamasque control of Gaza, what do you expect. But
Hamas has a way of weaseling its way in or
you die. You know, it's not like it's without coercion.
So what Donald Trump's trying to address is, sure, you
have Hamas coming over the border, invading Israel, raping, killing,
(06:20):
taking hostages.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
You beat them back.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
They were very slow to give hostages up, which is
very different from the past, and most of them were dead,
which was part of the problem. But normally you beat
them back, you get your hostages back, and they wait
a decade and they do it all over again. So
Donald Trump's trying to get that area in a more
(06:46):
secure long term with general interests in the region to
protect it.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
So make no mistake about it.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
This is Saudi Arabia, United Emirates cutter, trying to control
the more radical Muslim population and which you're really talking
about these terrorist organizations in Iran. Meanwhile, things have heightened
in Israel, intensifying the war in the Gaza Strip area,
where a blockade on food, medicine and supplies is worsening.
It's becoming a humanitarian crisis. And Donald Trump has really
(07:19):
risen as a peacemaking force in the world. And this
trip is huge, and if it ends on the ground
in face to face meetings with Putin and Selensky to
end the war with Russia and Ukraine, and progress is
made on the Iranian nuke talks, and there's some talks
(07:39):
going on in Saudi Arabia right now about what to
do and secure the Gaza area from radical control in
the future. This is one for the record books, folks.
This will be history. Meanwhile, at home, left in the
wake is the market recovery. And as we just pointed out,
(08:04):
the Dow on Liberation Day was at forty one nine
eighty nine. Then the big losses and everybody pointing at
the president and the left narrative this is self induced
financial suicide.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
This is crazy. This guy's out of control. What's he doing.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
He's causing a trade war, We're going to head into
a recession. Well, yesterday the Dow finished forty two to
four ten, five hundred points above where it was on
Liberation Day. The S and P closed at fifty eight
forty four, two hundred over Liberation Day. Nasdaq closed at
(08:39):
eighteen seven, one thousand, thirteen hundred over Liberation Day. Oh,
there's what we gently call the art of the deal.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Meanwhile, to the border we go.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
This has been a great source of victory for the president,
and the numbers can continue to be quite frankly amazing.
You know, Donald Trump made a simple statement Congress Groop's
talking about, we need this law, we need that law.
Now it turns out we just needed a new president.
And boy is that true. First, the flow of illegal
immigrants trying to enter the country driven by the administration's
(09:18):
decisive and effective immigration enforcement. The credibility of enforcement, the
ability to enforce was always there.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You know, as you see Donald Trump close the border, you.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Ought to get an equal vision of how Joe Biden
recklessly opened it. As we enforce the laws, you should
have a vision for how Biden the Democrats refused to
enforce the laws. And the Yeah, like you open up
a spicket. There's some roofers, there's some farmers, there's some
(09:55):
construction workers. But there's also rapists, gang members, drug tra
human traffickers, murderers. I mean, I hope you're seeing both
sides of this, because sooner or later, Donald Trump will leave,
(10:16):
but our need to be a sovereign nation and secure
our border and be a nation of law and order
must never leave again. Are you ready for this? Only
five illegal aliens were temporarily allowed into the United States
in April, a staggering drop from the sixty eight thousand
(10:42):
or at leased along the southwest border during this month.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Last year, Joe Biden.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
A ninety three percent decrease year over year nearly one
hundred and twenty nine thousand apprehensions.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
In twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Guess what it is in twenty twenty five so far,
eighty three hundred, one hundred and twenty nine thousand to
eighty three hundred And think of all the out of
the one hundred twenty thousand, think of all the ones
that made it through and weren't apprehended.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Brings you back to when Joe Biden made Kamala Harris.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
The borders are and she starts blaming everything on the
origin countries. Then she goes to Mexico and the Mexican
president rebukes her, and then she has to tell the
apologize to the world and tell the world, no, it's
our fault. We signal the border as open and that's
why they come. It's our fault. That's what you're seeing there,
(11:52):
just telling them do not cross this border. Seeing people
shuffled and chains. Go from one hundred twenty nine thousand
apprehensions in twenty twenty four to eighty three hundred so
far this year. April of twenty twenty four, forty two
hundred ninety seven apprehensions per day. April twenty twenty five,
it was two hundred and seventy nine per day, sixty
(12:20):
eight thousand releases in twenty twenty four five so far
in twenty twenty five, a ninety three percent drop. I
mean say it, these numbers are breathtaking. I have watched
(12:40):
for the better part of three decades, a lot of promises,
a lot of pandering, but I haven't seen a lot
of governing. Now, the media rightly despised, rightly dead, rightly mistrusted,
won't acknowledge that US or the deal cut on prescription drugs,
(13:04):
the very things that everybody said was unsolvable solved because
the President is now in the Middle East solving things.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
That are not just our time, but all time.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
It's your morning show with Michael del Journo.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
By the way, Red and I just did some quick
math in case there's any Republicans out there that I
may have offended.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Why don't I give republicans credit?
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Because Democrats and Republicans would have passed a bill that
would have kept the spicket open at two million a year.
It would even border security doesn't even kick in until
you get to five thousand a day. At that rate,
it's two million a year. This picket has been shut
down to one million a decade. And it's only because
(13:53):
Donald Trump stopped them and kept his word. That's why
I give the credit to the presidency and not to
a party.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Maccott just waking.
Speaker 6 (14:02):
Up, Bob.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
President Trump says his administration always the Peacemaker, helped prevent
a nuclear conflict with Indian Pakistan.
Speaker 6 (14:09):
Speaking from the White House Monday morning, he said he
used trade to help get the seasfire deal done, explaining
what he told the two countries.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
If you stop it, we'll do a trade. If you
don't stop it, we're not going to do any trade.
People have never really used trade the way I used it,
that I can tell you, And all of a sudden
they said, I think we're going to stop.
Speaker 6 (14:26):
Trump said a nuclear conflict between India and Pakistan could
have led to millions being killed. The presidentis Vice President J. D.
Vance and Secretary of State Marco Rubio for their efforts.
The seasfire announced Saturday came after days of cross border fighting.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I'm Mark Meefield.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Well, the deal with Asia has certainly helped our market.
It's recovered above liberation day searching thousands. America shoe companies,
of course, are encouraged, but not satisfied. They say the
industry still needs relief. Tammy Trehillo has more.
Speaker 7 (14:57):
The CEO of footwear Distributors and Retailers of a Mayor Ark,
which represents Nike, under Armour and other leading shoe companies,
said in a statement quote, We're not across the finish
line yet. The comments come after the Trump administration's progress
in recent negotiations. But shoes are highly exposed to tariffs
because ninety nine percent of all footwear sold in the
US is made overseas. The industry has warned that tariffs
(15:19):
could wipe out hundreds of businesses, killed tens of thousands
of jobs, and raise prices for consumers. I'm Tammy Truheo.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I thought we were in a MC recession wasn't that
the big narrative?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
A week ago? Now, McDonald's is planning to hire three.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Hundred and seventy five thousand workers nationwide this summer.
Speaker 8 (15:35):
The fast food chain announced the move at a news
conference that included the US Labor Secretary. Monday's events celebrated
the ten year anniversary of the company's Archways to Opportunity program,
which offers tuition assistance and helps employees reach their education goals.
McDonald's is known to be among President Trump's culinary favorites,
(15:56):
and the company donated a million dollars to his second
residential inauguration. I'm Brian Shook.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
This is Kay.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
From Surprise, Arizona.
Speaker 7 (16:09):
My morning show is your Morning Show with Michael del Jorno.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Hey, it's Michael.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Your Morning show can be heard live each weekday morning
on great stations like thirteen sixty The Patriot in San Diego,
News Talk, one oh six point three and AM eighteen
eighty WMQ oh Claire, Wisconsin and one oh four nine
The Patriot and Saint Louis, Missouri. Would love to be
a part of your morning routine. But so glad you're here.
Now enjoy the podcast. President Trump says his administration helped
(16:40):
prevent a nuclear conflict between India and Pakistan. Meanwhile, the
President has arrived in Saudi Arabia to a royal welcome,
and this trip could end with the President sitting down
with Zelenski and Boten in person to try to craft
a peace deal. That's that's a lot of peace making.
(17:00):
Blessed be the peacemaker. Donald Trump on a very big
Mid East trip. Well, he is a Supreme Court bar attorney.
He is also a White House correspondent, and he is
covering what looks like a typical Mideast and foreign policy
trip that may end up historic in Turkey, John, good morning.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Hey, good morning.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
And what you're referencing when you say that, Michael, is
something that the President said yesterday, the idea of essentially
calling an audible and changing what he plans to do
as far as his travel.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
In the Middle East.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
On Thursday, he said he would travel to Turkey if
it would make a difference in terms of ending the
war between Russia and Ukraine, getting those two countries on
a pathway to peace. I think before President Trump can
even consider that, however, Michael Putin's got to show exactly
(18:00):
got to show up you know, Zelenski's committed to being
in Turkey on Thursday, but we still don't know whether
Vladimir Putin is going to show up in Can I give.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
You a chance to make up some ground, because you know,
on on election night I obviously defeated you in doctoral predictions.
I actually think, I actually am under the ridiculous naive
impression that Vladimir Putin is done, he's ready to craft
a way out. I say he shows up Thursday, I
(18:30):
say this ends an historic meeting between the three of them.
But let's start in Saudi Arabia. He gets the Kings welcome.
How much of this is trade and how much of
this is the future of the Gaza strip and the
Palestinian territory, because I know that those are two big
things on the President's agenda.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Those are two big things.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
And also Iran. You know, Saudi Arabia head Iran. It's
putting it mildly. They are not on the same page.
Their mortal enemies. And I think that the President will
have that on his agenda as well. But certainly, you know,
what the President has spoken about is someday. I don't
think it's in the near term, but someday getting Saudi
(19:11):
Arabia to be a nation joining the Abraham Accords, which
the President put together in his first term in office.
I think that for Saudi Arabia to add its name
to the Abraham Accords, there it has to be a
future for a Palestinian state, and we're not at that
point just yet. So that's something that could happen, you know.
(19:33):
I mean, look, I'm always an optimist. That could happen.
I just don't see that happening in the very near future.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
White House correspondent John Decker always kept very busy by
the travel plans and the activities of Donald Trump, President
of the United States. John, we'll talk again tomorrow perfectly,
all right, thirty eight minutes after the hour. Want to
throw this is I pick my heroes very well, and
this is one of them.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
And out with a new book. Gotta have the chance
to meet him.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Legendary humorist and indicated columnist and author of the new
book Class Clown. What a thrill it is to welcome
Dave Berry to your morning show.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I don't have many heroes. You're on a very short list.
I've interviewed a couple of them. So I just I
say that up front, just to get it out of
the way. Thank you for I'm so glad you were born.
Thank you for a lifetime of work and the influence
that I think is inside me every day as a
carry out my wise ass.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Journey of life.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I think the title of your book says it all
class clown Memoirs of a professional wise ass. How I
went seventy seven years without growing up? Can we start
at the beginning with the title, that's everything Where you
started as a class clown, how you became a class clown,
and the importance of never growing up.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
You got it all in there long, but you got
it all in there.
Speaker 9 (20:51):
Yeah, and it's kind of one of the I talk
about the I literally was elected class clown of the Pleasantville,
New York class of nineteen sixty five. But I was
told more than once by you know, various teachers along
because I was something of a wise ass. Yeah, that's
very funny. But you cannot joke your way through life,
(21:13):
which turns out to be not true. You and I
are both proof of that. Right, You can joke your
way if you like. We just don't want too many
people to know that I guess, So.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Dave, did your parents get the same thing my parents got?
Michael feels a need to entertain the class. Now having
said that I did it so well, I got away
with it. I mean they I got thrown out a lot,
but you know, standing in the hallway, but usually as
they were laughing, they were throwing me out of the class.
But really everything that you would go on to make
(21:43):
a living doing kind of was birthed in that first
moment of cracking a joke and getting that response, which
I find so interesting in that you spend the rest
of your life not getting that instant feedback. You didn't
go stand up comedy. You went columnist, and you had
a much much more cultural influence. But talk about how
it all began in the classroom. What was it that
(22:04):
first time you said something funny and got that reaction?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Right? Yeah, I mean I was like, okay.
Speaker 9 (22:10):
First of all, I didn't reach puberty til I was
like thirty, late developer, and I was not good at sports.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
You know, I was a little puny kid with glasses.
Speaker 9 (22:20):
So like, the way the way I got attention, the
way I got people to like me, was to make
them laugh, and I.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Got good at it as a kid.
Speaker 9 (22:31):
You're right about the difference between like stand ups do
that in front of a live audience. I did it
in front of a computer screen, and then, you know,
kind of hid in the closet.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Waited for people to react.
Speaker 9 (22:43):
But I loved I loved always being able to make
people laugh. I don't think I would ever have the
neediness to be able to extend to do what stand
up comics do? You know, get up in front of
an audience, the people you don't know anything about, and
try to get them to like you. I always felt
(23:03):
safe for hiding behind the print.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Oh but Dave, we were laughing out.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Loved you long before emoji's how much of the Let's
let's start with your childhood. I know there, you know,
the didn't have the Internet. That was a much different age.
Did you have a lot of friends? Was your family like,
what were the what was your observational humor as a
child that taught you that muscle memory of observational humor
(23:30):
that would become journalistical with legendary.
Speaker 9 (23:33):
Well, first of all, I had a lot of friends,
but they were on their imaginary no true, you know, no,
I think, and some friends I don't they got any
imaginary friends.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
You know.
Speaker 9 (23:45):
Well, I do talk quite a bit about where it
came from. In my case, it was my mom. I
had a very funny mother.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Uh it was.
Speaker 9 (23:53):
This was the fifties. She had four kids. She was
a housewife, that's what they call them back then. But
she was not like the other housewise.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
She was very very dark, very very edgy. In fact,
she was little. She had she had issues with depression,
which I talk about in the book.
Speaker 9 (24:09):
But she was just hilarious, uh, and nothing was ever
off limits for her. She would make fun of everything.
This is a trivial example, but it's always stuck with me.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
We lived in the woods in Armand, New York, and
our house was in the woods, and there was in
the woods behind our house was a pond.
Speaker 9 (24:28):
And my sister Kate and I used to go play
at the pond, which you could never do today.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
You would never let your kid go play in a pond.
Speaker 9 (24:34):
But in the fifties you got lots of kids, so
you could spare a few.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
You worry about it. So like we'd be going out
to the pond. Your mom, we're going to the pond,
and she don't drown kids.
Speaker 9 (24:47):
You know, this is really kind of June Cleaver voice
and like that.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Okay, that's a good example. Most moms would have been,
you catch, be careful off, you know what I mean.
But my mom made.
Speaker 9 (24:56):
A joke out of it about this thing she was
obviously worried about, but she made to joll you.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
She always did that.
Speaker 9 (25:02):
And so I'll give you one other example of her
darkness that you know, which was when my dad died.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
We we go to the cemetery.
Speaker 9 (25:11):
It's just the family, just the four kids and my mom,
and it's a rainy day and we have my dad's
ashes in a box and they've dug a little hole
for us, and we put the ashes in the hole
and we cover it with dirt. We say some words
and we're all crying. I mean we're crying, and it's
raining and it's gloomy. It's a sadurs day. We're walking
away from my dad's grave.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
My mom is on my arm.
Speaker 9 (25:31):
She starts to read the gravestones around there and she goes,
so that's why we don't see him around anywhere. And
we all burst out laughing because and my dad would
have laughed, you know, because that was my mom. So
the answer I'm giving trying to give here is that
we got that sense of humor in our family that
(25:52):
you could make fun of. You can find humor in everything,
even the dark.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Nothing was off nothing was off limits, every nothing was
off limits. Never too soon, no one of those day
Berry is joining us, an absolute legend, a thrill to
talk to. The book is called class clown Memoirs, A
professional wise ass, and he is a pro. I might add,
and how I went seventy seven years without growing up?
You know, I look back and I used to. I've
(26:18):
actually said this to people. Previous generations had Will Rogers
or you know whomever.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
You know, I grew up, we had Dave Berry.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
And and it begs this question. And I've actually had
this thought and said it out loud. I was watching
Bill Burr for a while and I was thinking he
could be the next day Barry, but then it got sidetracked.
It's certainly not Bill Maher who takes over this mantle
like who?
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Because Jerry Seinfeld.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Now this is more stand up television influence is very observant, but.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Not like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
There is something magical about it having been in column form,
isn't it? Or is that just yeah.
Speaker 9 (26:56):
I mean, first of all, thank you for all that.
But you know, there are giants and humor still working.
There are like you mentioned Jerry Seinfeld, Nate Bargatzi, which
is brilliant, I think. But but in terms of writing
you're I think you're right. It's not because I'm great,
it's because that medium has pretty much died.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I mean when I was young, it was Art Buckwald
and Irma Bombback.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I Ima Bomback is a classic date Bery example. Yeah,
you're right, she was.
Speaker 9 (27:24):
I was lucky enough to get to know her and
later in her career early in mind, just the sweetest,
what's so funny, so good at what she did.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
But then, like the newspaper industry is just gone. I
mean it's evaporated.
Speaker 9 (27:40):
So it's hard now for anybody to do anything in
in longer form essay in print.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
But there are brilliant people writing.
Speaker 9 (27:47):
I mean there's you know, there are TV people, there
are there are people in doing short form stuff on
the Internet.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
There's a lot of humor. It just can't it does
not print anymore. Uh.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
It is frightening to think of, Uh, you know, because
you're and you started in Pennsylvania for a small newspaper.
But really that getting that job with the Miami Herald
and then what newspapers were, and then through syndication, that's
how you reached all of us. I mean for twenty
years I was reading you living in Oklahoma, and for
five years before that in New Orleans. But that that
(28:20):
whole model.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Can't happen today, as you point out. So no, yeah,
I was. I had like they would whatever I wanted
to do.
Speaker 9 (28:26):
They say, oh, hey, there's a Samoie of the Year
competition going on in New York City.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Can I go to that? Sure?
Speaker 9 (28:32):
You know, whatever I wanted to do. North Dakota wants
to dedicate a sewage lifting station.
Speaker 6 (28:38):
In your honor.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I'm come there.
Speaker 9 (28:39):
I'm there, and you know that they could pay to
send me those things. And then as I had this,
I always say I had the best job in the world.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And you know it's over now.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
No, no, well, I want to I want to do
these last three minutes because, believe me, Michael will cut
us off. I want to do this just you know,
a protege talking to hero. Number one, Of all the
things you did, what reaction shocked you the most? Was
it the Neil Diamond fans. I mean, what what when
you look back, who didn't get the joke or what
(29:15):
bizarre circumstance you know, found your way, you know, with
Johnny Carson, David Lettimanner, what have you? I mean, what
shocked you the most about reaction to your humor? Well,
the Neil diamond thing was was huge. I made the
mistake of saying that you're criticizing. First of all, let
me just stress Neil Diamonds genius.
Speaker 9 (29:32):
We love Neil Diamonds. But he wrote one bad lyric
one bad lyric? Why am I said? To no one there?
And no one heard it all?
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Not even the chair? Come on, Neil, you could have
done better. Rhyme though, Dave it does rhyme.
Speaker 9 (29:47):
But Neil, it's a chair. That's why I can't hear you.
It's a piece of furniture. Also, did not pick up
on that. So anyway, that that one, that one, and
but that was great for me. I mean, when you
get all the hate mail from Neil diamond fans, you
have got another common.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Well and exploding toilets writ now a whole book about it.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Anyway. Strawberry pop tarts that you know, oh.
Speaker 9 (30:06):
They're all yeah, so many things, so many things. Yeah,
but that was one of the huge ones. The other
one I never expected this. I wrote a throwaway column.
Two guys suggested to me that on September nineteenth of
every year, people should talk like pirates. So I wrote
a column, well, talk like a pirate day, you know, And.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
I didn't think anything of it. That was like twenty
five years.
Speaker 9 (30:28):
People are still doing that on set, long after both
of us are dead and gone. On September nineteenth, people
will still be talking like pirates on September nineteenth, and
nobody will know why.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I suspect me.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yeah, I suspect you don't know how good you were,
or didn't think a lot about how good you were,
and that's why you were so good. But are you
aware of how iconic you are and the influence you've had.
When I say influence, I mean there's Day burying me
every day on the air, just like there's Groucho Marks
with me every day and there just like there's John
(31:00):
and Me every day on the air, just like there's
Mike mccannonmy every day.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
I mean, you are all we are all planning to
suit you, by the way, all named, But do you
have any same counsel. Do you have any.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Sense of how great you were or are stop blowing
the smoking No, no.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
No, I seriously want to know, because my guess is no. No.
Well I okay, I I don't.
Speaker 9 (31:23):
I first of all, I really do appreciate that, and
I do hear that sometimes from some people. I also
hear from a lot of you know, other people that
I'm you know, way over the hill and and it
was never that funny and you know, so it kind
of balances out.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
I don't think I'm that great.
Speaker 9 (31:39):
I think I because it's kind of like a magician
who does a trick, like you know, you know how
you did it, So it doesn't seem that impressive. Well, yeah,
but thank you, I appreciate it. I do also think
that twenty five years from now, because this is the
way it is with humor, nobody will know who I was.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
And that's okay, that's the way it goes. Well, if
if I'm alive, they will, all right.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
So final question is the obvious one, why tell your life?
I did an interview this week with It's a book
called Gandolphini Jim who is what they call James Gandelfhini,
Tony and the living legend. I love that because everybody
knows Tony Soprano, but they really don't know James Gandolphini,
and they prove it by calling him James because he
went by Jim. This is a thrill for a lot
(32:23):
of people who you were a part of their life,
moment by moment, cumulatively, day after year after decade, and
now we finally get to meet the man behind the
smart ass And I think, I mean, for me, it's
a tremendous gift.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
But why did you feel the need to do it now?
I was kind of talked.
Speaker 9 (32:43):
Into it by my agent and my editor at Simon
and Schuster, and they kind of said, what you're saying,
and I was going to like, well, who's gonna care?
Speaker 2 (32:54):
You know?
Speaker 9 (32:55):
So, so I really hope you're right.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I hope that a lot of people do want to
know this.
Speaker 9 (32:59):
And I tried to make it so it wasn't just
look how great I am looking at the graker, but like.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
This is how it happens, you know, And I hope
it's entertaining.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
If you are a fan of Dave Berry's column, you
are going to love Class Clown The Memoirs of a
Professional Wise ass.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
This is your Morning Show with Michael del Chno. Good morning,
This is Mary. Thanks for having Dave Barry on.
Speaker 10 (33:24):
I remember twenty plus years ago I took my young
son to a book signing for Dave Berry and he's
my son being an aspiring writer, and asked him for
his advice on what to know in order to be
a successful writer.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
And his advice was, keep your fanny in the seat.
Speaker 9 (33:41):
Keep your faddy in the seat, and keep typing towards
the stars.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Thank you, Mary, We love you. Yeah, Dave Barry, get
that new book, class clown all right. President Trump says
his administration helped prevent a nuclear conflict with India and Pakistan.
Now he's getting a royal welcome in Saudi Arabia, doing
some busy trade talks and foreign policy talks. It could
all in Thursday and Turkey with a face to face
with Zolensky and Putin, this could become quite historic.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
We're all in this together. This is your Morning Show
with Michael Ndheld Joano
Hi, it's me Michael. Your morning show can be heard
on great stations across the country like Talk Radio eleven
ninety in Dallas, Fort Worth, Freedom one oh four point
seven and Washington, d C and five point fifty KFYI
and Phoenix, Arizona. We'd love to be a part of
your morning routine or take us along on the drive
to work. But as we always say, better late than never.
Enjoy the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Starting your morning off right.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
A new way of talk, a new way of understanding,
because we're in this together.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
This is your morning show with Michael o'bill Jordan.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
All alarm clock's going off everywhere seven minutes after the hour,
Shuffle your way into the kitchen, grab that cup of coffee.
Let's see what we got on our plate at America's
Christmas at Chris Breakfast Table. If you're just waking up,
it is a boy. I would love it for it
to be Christmas. That'd be off for two weeks. It
is Tuesday, May the thirteenth. You have our Lord twenty
twenty five. The President got a royal welcome in Saudi Arabia.
(00:58):
Is three day mid East piece trip could end in
Turkey with Putin Zelensky and Trump all meeting together in person.
The balls in Putin's court, of course, and the hostage,
who was the last remaining living American tied hostage held
by Hamas has been released at his home in New Jersey.
(01:18):
And the first day in the sex trafficking trial of
Sean Ditty Combs involving the jury hearing some very graphic testimony.
I'm going to leave the graphicness up to Roy O'Neill
and spare me great good morning. It was.
Speaker 4 (01:33):
It was, it was, yeah, and it's going to get
a lot worse today, right I acknowledging everyone's just trying
to have their morning coffee. Let's just say a security
guard and a male prostitute with the two opening witnesses yesterday. Today,
we're expected to hear from Cassie Ventura. She's Ditty's ex girlfriend.
She is the woman in that video that's shown outside
(01:55):
the elevators where Diddy appears to be assaulting her in
that lobby area of the hotel, and she's expected to
testify probably the rest of the week about how she
claims she was drugged and forced into these freak off
events that would drag on for days at a time
and essentially making the case that it was not consensual.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah, because that's the key in one of them that
you know, I'll word it. Apparently he would make her
have sex with the male prostitute while he watched. The
question is was she drugged and didn't have a say
in that particular freak cough and you say it could
get worse?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
What could get worse?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
And then kind of dust out for them what is
pertinent to his character and patterns versus the charges Because
we've yet to people are going to be misled on
connecting those dots. I mean, you may hear a lot
of awful things about Diddy, but they may not be
things he's being charged with.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Well, right, and that's actually the case that the defense
is making, saying that, yeah, he's a violent pervert, but
what he didn't do these federal crimes, because remember this
is happening in federal court. He's facing five federal charges,
including sex trafficking, transportation to engage in prostitution, and racketeering.
So the defense is essentially going to say, yeah, he's
(03:19):
a scumbag, but it doesn't necessarily meet the criteria of
these federal charges. So that's a narrow path to walk.
And we're going to hear now from this woman who's
going to probably testify to some pretty explicit events that happen,
they say repeatedly during their relationship that lasted several years.
So we'll see if the defense can get any daylight
(03:42):
in here, but essentially portraying Diddy as a bad person,
but they're saying not a criminal, and where he's going
to be. Back in the third hour, we're going to
look at what was a complete recovery from Liberation Day
and then some if you're going to compare April first
to yesterday, but the market swared in the US and
it's soaring globally. Roy, you'll have that story for you
(04:04):
coming up in the third hour. All right, we were.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Talking about the President getting a really king's welcome in
Saudi Arabia. I mean the Saudi Prince met him on
the tarmac. That is unheard of. They normally, you know,
just typically send a province governor or another official to
greet foreign leaders upon arrival and they don't actually see
(04:28):
the prince until they get to the castle. But that
was different for Trump. And then we were talking about
earlier this morning when we were live on the air.
They were just lined up forever, one at a time,
coming up to meet him. So a king's welcome in
Saudi Arabia for Donald Trump. He'll also visit Cutter and
the United Arab Emirates, Israel and Iran is probably, in
(04:52):
terms of the Middle East, the biggest question. But I mean,
you know, let's just spitball here. What are some of
the things that the president could be covering in these
three areas Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates and Cutter. Well,
there's trade and there'll be a lot of talk about that,
and the notion that if we weren't there in a
(05:15):
great relationship, China would be. So that part is big.
The other part that I'd be curious to be a
fly on the wall is remember the president's vision for
what to do with the Gaza. Now, I don't know
that he wanted to set up the riviera of the
Middle East, but I do think he wants to try
to break this pattern, which is to say that you
(05:36):
have sponsored terrorist organizations funded by Iran creating trouble in
this region. Now, at some point, for the Palestinians in
that territory, you got to hold them responsible when you say, well,
you keep electing them into power. I mean, if you
(05:57):
give Hamasque control of Gaza, what do you expect. But
Hamas has a way of weaseling its way in or
you die. You know, it's not like it's without coercion.
So what Donald Trump's trying to address is, sure, you
have Hamas coming over the border, invading Israel, raping, killing,
(06:20):
taking hostages.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
You beat them back.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
They were very slow to give hostages up, which is
very different from the past, and most of them were dead,
which was part of the problem. But normally you beat
them back, you get your hostages back, and they wait
a decade and they do it all over again. So
Donald Trump's trying to get that area in a more
(06:46):
secure long term with general interests in the region to
protect it.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
So make no mistake about it.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
This is Saudi Arabia, United Emirates cutter, trying to control
the more radical Muslim population and which you're really talking
about these terrorist organizations in Iran. Meanwhile, things have heightened
in Israel, intensifying the war in the Gaza Strip area,
where a blockade on food, medicine and supplies is worsening.
It's becoming a humanitarian crisis. And Donald Trump has really
(07:19):
risen as a peacemaking force in the world. And this
trip is huge, and if it ends on the ground
in face to face meetings with Putin and Selensky to
end the war with Russia and Ukraine, and progress is
made on the Iranian nuke talks, and there's some talks
(07:39):
going on in Saudi Arabia right now about what to
do and secure the Gaza area from radical control in
the future. This is one for the record books, folks.
This will be history. Meanwhile, at home, left in the
wake is the market recovery. And as we just pointed out,
(08:04):
the Dow on Liberation Day was at forty one nine
eighty nine. Then the big losses and everybody pointing at
the president and the left narrative this is self induced
financial suicide.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
This is crazy. This guy's out of control. What's he doing.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
He's causing a trade war, We're going to head into
a recession. Well, yesterday the Dow finished forty two to
four ten, five hundred points above where it was on
Liberation Day. The S and P closed at fifty eight
forty four, two hundred over Liberation Day. Nasdaq closed at
(08:39):
eighteen seven, one thousand, thirteen hundred over Liberation Day. Oh,
there's what we gently call the art of the deal.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Meanwhile, to the border we go.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
This has been a great source of victory for the president,
and the numbers can continue to be quite frankly amazing.
You know, Donald Trump made a simple statement Congress Groop's
talking about, we need this law, we need that law.
Now it turns out we just needed a new president.
And boy is that true. First, the flow of illegal
immigrants trying to enter the country driven by the administration's
(09:18):
decisive and effective immigration enforcement. The credibility of enforcement, the
ability to enforce was always there.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You know, as you see Donald Trump close the border, you.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Ought to get an equal vision of how Joe Biden
recklessly opened it. As we enforce the laws, you should
have a vision for how Biden the Democrats refused to
enforce the laws. And the Yeah, like you open up
a spicket. There's some roofers, there's some farmers, there's some
(09:55):
construction workers. But there's also rapists, gang members, drug tra
human traffickers, murderers. I mean, I hope you're seeing both
sides of this, because sooner or later, Donald Trump will leave,
(10:16):
but our need to be a sovereign nation and secure
our border and be a nation of law and order
must never leave again. Are you ready for this? Only
five illegal aliens were temporarily allowed into the United States
in April, a staggering drop from the sixty eight thousand
(10:42):
or at leased along the southwest border during this month.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Last year, Joe Biden.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
A ninety three percent decrease year over year nearly one
hundred and twenty nine thousand apprehensions.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
In twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Guess what it is in twenty twenty five so far,
eighty three hundred, one hundred and twenty nine thousand to
eighty three hundred And think of all the out of
the one hundred twenty thousand, think of all the ones
that made it through and weren't apprehended.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Brings you back to when Joe Biden made Kamala Harris.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
The borders are and she starts blaming everything on the
origin countries. Then she goes to Mexico and the Mexican
president rebukes her, and then she has to tell the
apologize to the world and tell the world, no, it's
our fault. We signal the border as open and that's
why they come. It's our fault. That's what you're seeing there,
(11:52):
just telling them do not cross this border. Seeing people
shuffled and chains. Go from one hundred twenty nine thousand
apprehensions in twenty twenty four to eighty three hundred so
far this year. April of twenty twenty four, forty two
hundred ninety seven apprehensions per day. April twenty twenty five,
it was two hundred and seventy nine per day, sixty
(12:20):
eight thousand releases in twenty twenty four five so far
in twenty twenty five, a ninety three percent drop. I
mean say it, these numbers are breathtaking. I have watched
(12:40):
for the better part of three decades, a lot of promises,
a lot of pandering, but I haven't seen a lot
of governing. Now, the media rightly despised, rightly dead, rightly mistrusted,
won't acknowledge that US or the deal cut on prescription drugs,
(13:04):
the very things that everybody said was unsolvable solved because
the President is now in the Middle East solving things.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
That are not just our time, but all time.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
It's your morning show with Michael del Journo.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
By the way, Red and I just did some quick
math in case there's any Republicans out there that I
may have offended.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Why don't I give republicans credit?
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Because Democrats and Republicans would have passed a bill that
would have kept the spicket open at two million a year.
It would even border security doesn't even kick in until
you get to five thousand a day. At that rate,
it's two million a year. This picket has been shut
down to one million a decade. And it's only because
(13:53):
Donald Trump stopped them and kept his word. That's why
I give the credit to the presidency and not to
a party.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Maccott just waking.
Speaker 6 (14:02):
Up, Bob.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
President Trump says his administration always the Peacemaker, helped prevent
a nuclear conflict with Indian Pakistan.
Speaker 6 (14:09):
Speaking from the White House Monday morning, he said he
used trade to help get the seasfire deal done, explaining
what he told the two countries.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
If you stop it, we'll do a trade. If you
don't stop it, we're not going to do any trade.
People have never really used trade the way I used it,
that I can tell you, And all of a sudden
they said, I think we're going to stop.
Speaker 6 (14:26):
Trump said a nuclear conflict between India and Pakistan could
have led to millions being killed. The presidentis Vice President J. D.
Vance and Secretary of State Marco Rubio for their efforts.
The seasfire announced Saturday came after days of cross border fighting.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I'm Mark Meefield.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Well, the deal with Asia has certainly helped our market.
It's recovered above liberation day searching thousands. America shoe companies,
of course, are encouraged, but not satisfied. They say the
industry still needs relief. Tammy Trehillo has more.
Speaker 7 (14:57):
The CEO of footwear Distributors and Retailers of a Mayor Ark,
which represents Nike, under Armour and other leading shoe companies,
said in a statement quote, We're not across the finish
line yet. The comments come after the Trump administration's progress
in recent negotiations. But shoes are highly exposed to tariffs
because ninety nine percent of all footwear sold in the
US is made overseas. The industry has warned that tariffs
(15:19):
could wipe out hundreds of businesses, killed tens of thousands
of jobs, and raise prices for consumers. I'm Tammy Truheo.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
I thought we were in a MC recession wasn't that
the big narrative?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
A week ago? Now, McDonald's is planning to hire three.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Hundred and seventy five thousand workers nationwide this summer.
Speaker 8 (15:35):
The fast food chain announced the move at a news
conference that included the US Labor Secretary. Monday's events celebrated
the ten year anniversary of the company's Archways to Opportunity program,
which offers tuition assistance and helps employees reach their education goals.
McDonald's is known to be among President Trump's culinary favorites,
(15:56):
and the company donated a million dollars to his second
residential inauguration. I'm Brian Shook.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
This is Kay.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
From Surprise, Arizona.
Speaker 7 (16:09):
My morning show is your Morning Show with Michael del Jorno.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Hey, it's Michael.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Your Morning show can be heard live each weekday morning
on great stations like thirteen sixty The Patriot in San Diego,
News Talk, one oh six point three and AM eighteen
eighty WMQ oh Claire, Wisconsin and one oh four nine
The Patriot and Saint Louis, Missouri. Would love to be
a part of your morning routine. But so glad you're here.
Now enjoy the podcast. President Trump says his administration helped
(16:40):
prevent a nuclear conflict between India and Pakistan. Meanwhile, the
President has arrived in Saudi Arabia to a royal welcome,
and this trip could end with the President sitting down
with Zelenski and Boten in person to try to craft
a peace deal. That's that's a lot of peace making.
(17:00):
Blessed be the peacemaker. Donald Trump on a very big
Mid East trip. Well, he is a Supreme Court bar attorney.
He is also a White House correspondent, and he is
covering what looks like a typical Mideast and foreign policy
trip that may end up historic in Turkey, John, good morning.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Hey, good morning.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
And what you're referencing when you say that, Michael, is
something that the President said yesterday, the idea of essentially
calling an audible and changing what he plans to do
as far as his travel.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
In the Middle East.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
On Thursday, he said he would travel to Turkey if
it would make a difference in terms of ending the
war between Russia and Ukraine, getting those two countries on
a pathway to peace. I think before President Trump can
even consider that, however, Michael Putin's got to show exactly
(18:00):
got to show up you know, Zelenski's committed to being
in Turkey on Thursday, but we still don't know whether
Vladimir Putin is going to show up in Can I give.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
You a chance to make up some ground, because you know,
on on election night I obviously defeated you in doctoral predictions.
I actually think, I actually am under the ridiculous naive
impression that Vladimir Putin is done, he's ready to craft
a way out. I say he shows up Thursday, I
(18:30):
say this ends an historic meeting between the three of them.
But let's start in Saudi Arabia. He gets the Kings welcome.
How much of this is trade and how much of
this is the future of the Gaza strip and the
Palestinian territory, because I know that those are two big
things on the President's agenda.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Those are two big things.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
And also Iran. You know, Saudi Arabia head Iran. It's
putting it mildly. They are not on the same page.
Their mortal enemies. And I think that the President will
have that on his agenda as well. But certainly, you know,
what the President has spoken about is someday. I don't
think it's in the near term, but someday getting Saudi
(19:11):
Arabia to be a nation joining the Abraham Accords, which
the President put together in his first term in office.
I think that for Saudi Arabia to add its name
to the Abraham Accords, there it has to be a
future for a Palestinian state, and we're not at that
point just yet. So that's something that could happen, you know.
(19:33):
I mean, look, I'm always an optimist. That could happen.
I just don't see that happening in the very near future.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
White House correspondent John Decker always kept very busy by
the travel plans and the activities of Donald Trump, President
of the United States. John, we'll talk again tomorrow perfectly,
all right, thirty eight minutes after the hour. Want to
throw this is I pick my heroes very well, and
this is one of them.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
And out with a new book. Gotta have the chance
to meet him.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
Legendary humorist and indicated columnist and author of the new
book Class Clown. What a thrill it is to welcome
Dave Berry to your morning show.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I don't have many heroes. You're on a very short list.
I've interviewed a couple of them. So I just I
say that up front, just to get it out of
the way. Thank you for I'm so glad you were born.
Thank you for a lifetime of work and the influence
that I think is inside me every day as a
carry out my wise ass.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Journey of life.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
I think the title of your book says it all
class clown Memoirs of a professional wise ass. How I
went seventy seven years without growing up? Can we start
at the beginning with the title, that's everything Where you
started as a class clown, how you became a class clown,
and the importance of never growing up.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
You got it all in there long, but you got
it all in there.
Speaker 9 (20:51):
Yeah, and it's kind of one of the I talk
about the I literally was elected class clown of the Pleasantville,
New York class of nineteen sixty five. But I was
told more than once by you know, various teachers along
because I was something of a wise ass. Yeah, that's
very funny. But you cannot joke your way through life,
(21:13):
which turns out to be not true. You and I
are both proof of that. Right, You can joke your
way if you like. We just don't want too many
people to know that I guess, So.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Dave, did your parents get the same thing my parents got?
Michael feels a need to entertain the class. Now having
said that I did it so well, I got away
with it. I mean they I got thrown out a lot,
but you know, standing in the hallway, but usually as
they were laughing, they were throwing me out of the class.
But really everything that you would go on to make
(21:43):
a living doing kind of was birthed in that first
moment of cracking a joke and getting that response, which
I find so interesting in that you spend the rest
of your life not getting that instant feedback. You didn't
go stand up comedy. You went columnist, and you had
a much much more cultural influence. But talk about how
it all began in the classroom. What was it that
(22:04):
first time you said something funny and got that reaction?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Right? Yeah, I mean I was like, okay.
Speaker 9 (22:10):
First of all, I didn't reach puberty til I was
like thirty, late developer, and I was not good at sports.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
You know, I was a little puny kid with glasses.
Speaker 9 (22:20):
So like, the way the way I got attention, the
way I got people to like me, was to make
them laugh, and I.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Got good at it as a kid.
Speaker 9 (22:31):
You're right about the difference between like stand ups do
that in front of a live audience. I did it
in front of a computer screen, and then, you know,
kind of hid in the closet.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Waited for people to react.
Speaker 9 (22:43):
But I loved I loved always being able to make
people laugh. I don't think I would ever have the
neediness to be able to extend to do what stand
up comics do? You know, get up in front of
an audience, the people you don't know anything about, and
try to get them to like you. I always felt
(23:03):
safe for hiding behind the print.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Oh but Dave, we were laughing out.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Loved you long before emoji's how much of the Let's
let's start with your childhood. I know there, you know,
the didn't have the Internet. That was a much different age.
Did you have a lot of friends? Was your family like,
what were the what was your observational humor as a
child that taught you that muscle memory of observational humor
(23:30):
that would become journalistical with legendary.
Speaker 9 (23:33):
Well, first of all, I had a lot of friends,
but they were on their imaginary no true, you know, no,
I think, and some friends I don't they got any
imaginary friends.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
You know.
Speaker 9 (23:45):
Well, I do talk quite a bit about where it
came from. In my case, it was my mom. I
had a very funny mother.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Uh it was.
Speaker 9 (23:53):
This was the fifties. She had four kids. She was
a housewife, that's what they call them back then. But
she was not like the other housewise.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
She was very very dark, very very edgy. In fact,
she was little. She had she had issues with depression,
which I talk about in the book.
Speaker 9 (24:09):
But she was just hilarious, uh, and nothing was ever
off limits for her. She would make fun of everything.
This is a trivial example, but it's always stuck with me.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
We lived in the woods in Armand, New York, and
our house was in the woods, and there was in
the woods behind our house was a pond.
Speaker 9 (24:28):
And my sister Kate and I used to go play
at the pond, which you could never do today.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
You would never let your kid go play in a pond.
Speaker 9 (24:34):
But in the fifties you got lots of kids, so
you could spare a few.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
You worry about it. So like we'd be going out
to the pond. Your mom, we're going to the pond,
and she don't drown kids.
Speaker 9 (24:47):
You know, this is really kind of June Cleaver voice
and like that.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Okay, that's a good example. Most moms would have been,
you catch, be careful off, you know what I mean.
But my mom made.
Speaker 9 (24:56):
A joke out of it about this thing she was
obviously worried about, but she made to joll you.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
She always did that.
Speaker 9 (25:02):
And so I'll give you one other example of her
darkness that you know, which was when my dad died.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
We we go to the cemetery.
Speaker 9 (25:11):
It's just the family, just the four kids and my mom,
and it's a rainy day and we have my dad's
ashes in a box and they've dug a little hole
for us, and we put the ashes in the hole
and we cover it with dirt. We say some words
and we're all crying. I mean we're crying, and it's
raining and it's gloomy. It's a sadurs day. We're walking
away from my dad's grave.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
My mom is on my arm.
Speaker 9 (25:31):
She starts to read the gravestones around there and she goes,
so that's why we don't see him around anywhere. And
we all burst out laughing because and my dad would
have laughed, you know, because that was my mom. So
the answer I'm giving trying to give here is that
we got that sense of humor in our family that
(25:52):
you could make fun of. You can find humor in everything,
even the dark.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Nothing was off nothing was off limits, every nothing was
off limits. Never too soon, no one of those day
Berry is joining us, an absolute legend, a thrill to
talk to. The book is called class clown Memoirs, A
professional wise ass, and he is a pro. I might add,
and how I went seventy seven years without growing up?
You know, I look back and I used to. I've
(26:18):
actually said this to people. Previous generations had Will Rogers
or you know whomever.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
You know, I grew up, we had Dave Berry.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
And and it begs this question. And I've actually had
this thought and said it out loud. I was watching
Bill Burr for a while and I was thinking he
could be the next day Barry, but then it got sidetracked.
It's certainly not Bill Maher who takes over this mantle
like who?
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Because Jerry Seinfeld.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Now this is more stand up television influence is very observant, but.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Not like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
There is something magical about it having been in column form,
isn't it? Or is that just yeah.
Speaker 9 (26:56):
I mean, first of all, thank you for all that.
But you know, there are giants and humor still working.
There are like you mentioned Jerry Seinfeld, Nate Bargatzi, which
is brilliant, I think. But but in terms of writing
you're I think you're right. It's not because I'm great,
it's because that medium has pretty much died.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I mean when I was young, it was Art Buckwald
and Irma Bombback.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I Ima Bomback is a classic date Bery example. Yeah,
you're right, she was.
Speaker 9 (27:24):
I was lucky enough to get to know her and
later in her career early in mind, just the sweetest,
what's so funny, so good at what she did.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
But then, like the newspaper industry is just gone. I
mean it's evaporated.
Speaker 9 (27:40):
So it's hard now for anybody to do anything in
in longer form essay in print.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
But there are brilliant people writing.
Speaker 9 (27:47):
I mean there's you know, there are TV people, there
are there are people in doing short form stuff on
the Internet.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
There's a lot of humor. It just can't it does
not print anymore. Uh.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
It is frightening to think of, Uh, you know, because
you're and you started in Pennsylvania for a small newspaper.
But really that getting that job with the Miami Herald
and then what newspapers were, and then through syndication, that's
how you reached all of us. I mean for twenty
years I was reading you living in Oklahoma, and for
five years before that in New Orleans. But that that
(28:20):
whole model.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Can't happen today, as you point out. So no, yeah,
I was. I had like they would whatever I wanted
to do.
Speaker 9 (28:26):
They say, oh, hey, there's a Samoie of the Year
competition going on in New York City.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Can I go to that? Sure?
Speaker 9 (28:32):
You know, whatever I wanted to do. North Dakota wants
to dedicate a sewage lifting station.
Speaker 6 (28:38):
In your honor.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I'm come there.
Speaker 9 (28:39):
I'm there, and you know that they could pay to
send me those things. And then as I had this,
I always say I had the best job in the world.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And you know it's over now.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
No, no, well, I want to I want to do
these last three minutes because, believe me, Michael will cut
us off. I want to do this just you know,
a protege talking to hero. Number one, Of all the
things you did, what reaction shocked you the most? Was
it the Neil Diamond fans. I mean, what what when
you look back, who didn't get the joke or what
(29:15):
bizarre circumstance you know, found your way, you know, with
Johnny Carson, David Lettimanner, what have you? I mean, what
shocked you the most about reaction to your humor? Well,
the Neil diamond thing was was huge. I made the
mistake of saying that you're criticizing. First of all, let
me just stress Neil Diamonds genius.
Speaker 9 (29:32):
We love Neil Diamonds. But he wrote one bad lyric
one bad lyric? Why am I said? To no one there?
And no one heard it all?
Speaker 2 (29:40):
Not even the chair? Come on, Neil, you could have
done better. Rhyme though, Dave it does rhyme.
Speaker 9 (29:47):
But Neil, it's a chair. That's why I can't hear you.
It's a piece of furniture. Also, did not pick up
on that. So anyway, that that one, that one, and
but that was great for me. I mean, when you
get all the hate mail from Neil diamond fans, you
have got another common.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Well and exploding toilets writ now a whole book about it.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Anyway. Strawberry pop tarts that you know, oh.
Speaker 9 (30:06):
They're all yeah, so many things, so many things. Yeah,
but that was one of the huge ones. The other
one I never expected this. I wrote a throwaway column.
Two guys suggested to me that on September nineteenth of
every year, people should talk like pirates. So I wrote
a column, well, talk like a pirate day, you know, And.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
I didn't think anything of it. That was like twenty
five years.
Speaker 9 (30:28):
People are still doing that on set, long after both
of us are dead and gone. On September nineteenth, people
will still be talking like pirates on September nineteenth, and
nobody will know why.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I suspect me.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Yeah, I suspect you don't know how good you were,
or didn't think a lot about how good you were,
and that's why you were so good. But are you
aware of how iconic you are and the influence you've had.
When I say influence, I mean there's Day burying me
every day on the air, just like there's Groucho Marks
with me every day and there just like there's John
(31:00):
and Me every day on the air, just like there's
Mike mccannonmy every day.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
I mean, you are all we are all planning to
suit you, by the way, all named, But do you
have any same counsel. Do you have any.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Sense of how great you were or are stop blowing
the smoking No, no.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
No, I seriously want to know, because my guess is no. No.
Well I okay, I I don't.
Speaker 9 (31:23):
I first of all, I really do appreciate that, and
I do hear that sometimes from some people. I also
hear from a lot of you know, other people that
I'm you know, way over the hill and and it
was never that funny and you know, so it kind
of balances out.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
I don't think I'm that great.
Speaker 9 (31:39):
I think I because it's kind of like a magician
who does a trick, like you know, you know how
you did it, So it doesn't seem that impressive. Well, yeah,
but thank you, I appreciate it. I do also think
that twenty five years from now, because this is the
way it is with humor, nobody will know who I was.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
And that's okay, that's the way it goes. Well, if
if I'm alive, they will, all right.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
So final question is the obvious one, why tell your life?
I did an interview this week with It's a book
called Gandolphini Jim who is what they call James Gandelfhini,
Tony and the living legend. I love that because everybody
knows Tony Soprano, but they really don't know James Gandolphini,
and they prove it by calling him James because he
went by Jim. This is a thrill for a lot
(32:23):
of people who you were a part of their life,
moment by moment, cumulatively, day after year after decade, and
now we finally get to meet the man behind the
smart ass And I think, I mean, for me, it's
a tremendous gift.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
But why did you feel the need to do it now?
I was kind of talked.
Speaker 9 (32:43):
Into it by my agent and my editor at Simon
and Schuster, and they kind of said, what you're saying,
and I was going to like, well, who's gonna care?
Speaker 2 (32:54):
You know?
Speaker 9 (32:55):
So, so I really hope you're right.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I hope that a lot of people do want to
know this.
Speaker 9 (32:59):
And I tried to make it so it wasn't just
look how great I am looking at the graker, but like.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
This is how it happens, you know, And I hope
it's entertaining.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
If you are a fan of Dave Berry's column, you
are going to love Class Clown The Memoirs of a
Professional Wise ass.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
This is your Morning Show with Michael del Chno. Good morning,
This is Mary. Thanks for having Dave Barry on.
Speaker 10 (33:24):
I remember twenty plus years ago I took my young
son to a book signing for Dave Berry and he's
my son being an aspiring writer, and asked him for
his advice on what to know in order to be
a successful writer.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
And his advice was, keep your fanny in the seat.
Speaker 9 (33:41):
Keep your faddy in the seat, and keep typing towards
the stars.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Thank you, Mary, We love you. Yeah, Dave Barry, get
that new book, class clown all right. President Trump says
his administration helped prevent a nuclear conflict with India and Pakistan.
Now he's getting a royal welcome in Saudi Arabia, doing
some busy trade talks and foreign policy talks. It could
all in Thursday and Turkey with a face to face
with Zolensky and Putin, this could become quite historic.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
We're all in this together. This is your Morning Show
with Michael Ndheld Joano
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