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November 11, 2022 46 mins

If you are a mother who likes to travel with your little one(s), this episode and service is for you?  Have you ever been in a hotel or airport and ran out of diapers or basic essential items to care for your child? If so then you would agree with Dominique that someone somewhere dropped the ball, but after traveling with her first child and experiencing this seemingly obvious issue, she decided to fix it.

Lightly is a premium travel service for parents with infants and young kids.  It delivers curated quality essentials directly to your desired destinations, so you don’t have to travel with another bag. Just make sure you hotel carries Lightly.

Learn More: Lightly Travel

Connect: @ZuriHall @Lightly.Travel

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
H m hm, Hot happy mess. Celebrate your magic in
the middle of life's messes. Hot happy that. I'm Serie
Hall and this is hot happy may cute. What's up?

(00:25):
I'm Zeri Hall and this is hot happy mess. Where
we do best life minus the burnout Baby. Today, I
have an incredible woman who is sitting down to talk
about the super impressive business that she has been building.
She saw avoid in the marketplace and she rose to
the occasion like nobody's business. I can't wait for you

(00:48):
to hear her. I'm really excited for today's episode. It
is such a nod to all of the women in
my life who are working moms that are killing it.
It's not easily done. It's a lot to juggle being
a mom and itself is a full time job. To
also have other hats that that mothers are wearing outside
of the home and um, you know, keeping it all

(01:10):
together and sometimes not keeping it all together, but doing
the best they can with what they've got. I mean,
my hats go off to you. Um. If you hear
things slamming into the mirrors, it's Lola. I'm a dog mom,
so there's that. Um, it's Lola picking up a bone
and then tossing it very aggressively into the mirror, and

(01:30):
then doing it over and over and over again. It's
this new thing that she's discovered, and she's really excited
about it. It's almost like she waits until I sit
down in front of a microphone to begin say love anyways,
m H. Shout out to the working moms you're doing
any things, the ones who have been dreaming about starting
their own business, the ones who are currently in the

(01:52):
thick of entrepreneurship and may need a little bit of
inspo along the way. Maybe you're not a mom yet
or an entrepreneury yet, but you're interested and you want
to hear this incredible woman's story. So for today's episode,
we have our first real woman, real story of season two.
I am chatting with Dominique and she is sharing how
she built her business during a pandemic, how she's managing

(02:15):
self care as a mom of two and standing in
her no and is also something to be quite frank
that is still a learning moment. Still, It's still something
that a lot of us, myself included, are in the
process of fully owning our nose without apology. I'm getting
much better at it. And I've got to say it

(02:36):
feels great here, so I highly recommend you get to
try and it if you haven't already. But Dominique is
going to share her story her journey to that. Dominique
has also sharing tips on how other women of color
who owned businesses can secure funding for their entrepreneurial endeavors.
It is just an all around great combo jam packed

(02:58):
with inform may chump with tips, tricks, tools that you
can use starting today to build the business of your dreams,
the life of your dreams. Um while juggling the various
parts of that dream life. You're gonna love it. Here's Dominique.
Dominique ola wola Fe is a mom preneur and the

(03:19):
founder of Lightly, a luxury baby hair brand making the
getting there easier for parents towing tiny humans. She currently
resides in l A with her husband and two daughters.
And I am so excited that she is here to
share her story with us because she's got a fascinating background.
She earned her be a in communications from cal Polly.
She spent time as both the professional volleyball player and

(03:42):
freelance wardrobe stylists and costume supervisor before transitioning to building
her business full time. Yoga, champagne and pizza are her
guilty mama pleasures. So basically, she's my new best friend.
Welcome Dominique. Good what a intro. I love it. It's
kind of like aclectic to say that you have lived
a life. It's giving big Gemini energy even though I

(04:03):
have no reason to believe you are one. Um, what
would you know what your sign is? Okay, so that's
funny that you said that, because my husband's a Gemini
and my oldest daughter is a gemin either a day apart.
The person birthdays are next week. But I'm a Virgo,
so I'm like, hey, psychopath like organizing. Yeah, but you're
gonna have something draws me to that Gemini energy because

(04:26):
it's clearly you know I love with them. You're surrounded
by the Beyonce's at Virgo, so you guys must be
doing something right. Um. Okay, well let's go ahead and
celebrate in And I'm excited for this convo because this
is one of our real woman real spotlights or real
stories rather. Um, and so it's really just all about
celebrating and talking about you your amazing journey, which I
find so fascinating. So just to get things started, tell

(04:50):
me a little bit about yourself. Give me some fun facts.
What will be what? What is one thing we will
be surprised to know about Dominique? Okay, um on facts,
let's see. Um Okay, so this is not fun, but
I just kind of want to give you a basis
from where I matriculate from. I'm half Nigerian and I'm
half my mom's side of the families from Barbados, so

(05:11):
like really makes for a really interesting temperament. Like you know,
you know Nigerians, then you've known Nigerians. But I also
have this like Caribbean relaxed vibe to myself. Um. I'm
obsessed with blue Moon ice cream, which you can only
get in Michigan, I suppose. Um. I'm originally from East Lancing,
That's where i was born, so I'm a Midwest girl. Um,

(05:32):
and I have loved fashion and shopping from the beginning
of time. Um. We had a computer early on, like
a large, scary old school dial up computer, and my
mom had always said that I was just like searching
for clothing and fashion from the beginning of the time.
So those are some fun things. UM. Yoga obviously is

(05:55):
my like sacred space and um, my guilty pleasure in
terms of like what I watched at the end of
the night is Nightly Pop honey. Okay, alright, we love
to see it NBC Universal in the building. Okays, so
I always love to hear that. Um. I also find
it fascinating. You played a volleyball in college, right, I

(06:19):
did so? I Um, like I said, I'm from Michigan.
I came out to California on a full ride. I
went to cal Poly and San Leis Obispo. I lived
in Switzerland. I played a season professionally there. I lived
in Azerbaijan, which most people don't even know where that is.
I got to ask you. I was beating, nodding as
if I knew where you were talking about, or asking. Yeah,

(06:40):
so I'm gonna ask you where. Okay, So east of
Iran and north of Turkey. Um. I lived in a
city called Baku. Um that's where my part got broken
at some point in my life. Um. Then I laughed.
And then I moved to Sicily and that's where I
found my happy place and I played a season there. Um.

(07:00):
But you know, being able to travel on somebody's else's
dime was incredible and just like exploring the world. Yeah,
um so yeah, that was amazing, absolutely fascinating, and here
you are now building this amazing business that is really
just so genius when you think about it. Um. So,
I want to get into being a working mom um

(07:22):
and how you've managed to balance at all. I think
that's something that a lot of our listeners can relate
to and understand. I can barely keep myself fed and
alive now I've added a puppy to the mix. I
can't imagine with two children. Yeah, running a business and
you know, um really killing it in all of it.
So talk to me a little bit about your journey

(07:43):
from motherhood to getting back into um work mode. Was
that hard for you? Was that something you couldn't wait
to get back to um? Was it a thing that
you even had to maybe decide you wanted to do
a lot of people decide, you know what, I think
I'm ready for mommyhood and I want to just focus
on that, and then a lot of people have to
go back to work. Was it something you were ready for? Yeah?

(08:03):
Those are really good questions. I guess I'll tell you
a little bit about myself um. And this is a
very huge part of of Lightly and reflected in our
branding and their identity. But I never anticipated on having
kids so early. I'm a fairly young mom and my
husband and I have a significant age gap. So when
I got pregnant, it wasn't planned, and my career was

(08:25):
always first. And I think for me and building Lightly,
it's been a healing process because what we're doing is
we're shattering old printal archetypes. We're saying that being a
parent and having this travel life are not binary. Right,
they can coexist, but we need the support from the
community and from the hotels we stay at, and our

(08:45):
society and our culture. Um. I think hospitality brands do
a better job of accommodating pets than they do small children, right,
and so something has to change. Um. So, No, it
wasn't um something where I was like, Okay, I'm gonna
put work aside. I never thought I was gonna put
work aside. I just wanted to figure out how can
I do both things? And ultimately, for my personal journey,

(09:08):
it's being surrounded by people that have provided me with
so much support. Right. Um, Our families don't live in
l A, so we pay for everything, but our friends
have become our network and our support. Um. When I
first found out I was pregnant, I was like, oh
my god, can I still go to um combo every week?
You know, you know, not every week? But then I

(09:28):
still do all these amazing things. Yeah, but can I
go to crabbo? Like? Will there be things for my
baby at advice right? Right? And so UM. I had
some real conversations with some incredible mentors and women in
my network that are CEOs of their companies and have kids,

(09:49):
and you know, their advice was, um, you know, kids
are adaptable, they really are flexible, and you grow them
in this environment and they understand, Um, you can have it.
You can have your job and your family too. But
it does take a conscious effort in terms of who
you're surrounding yourself with, putting yourself in cultures and in
work environments where people are supportive of work life balance.

(10:11):
And I think that conversation is changing, um, for our
industry and our culture. Yeah. Um, you said you were
younger than you expected when you had your first child, right,
were you when you had the first baby in my twenties? Yeah,
And I think, you know, for our parents. That's not
not weird, but this, Yeah, I was thinking, I'm like, okay,

(10:35):
I'm trying to do the math as a wishy twenty yeah,
because I am of the same mind. Right, we're twenty
eight feels so young at this point in my life.
Looking back, I'm thirty four now. Um, at that time,
I can't imagine. But there was a time at three
when I was like, okay, so I'm just gonna knock
out all the I'll get married at twenty time. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

(10:59):
thirty max. If I want to be in old and
you live in I'll do whatever. So l O l
at that entire game play and none of those things.
And I honestly couldn't be happier that it didn't happen
sooner because I can't imagine. Um, so I hear you
when you say, okay, twenty eight for me felt really
young to be committing to motherhood. Um, how long before

(11:21):
your your next little one came into the picture? Oh
so this is funny. So then I had my first one,
I was like, this is every thing. It's so amazing.
I mean, I took Phoenix around the world, right, Like,
she's been to more countries than most people have in
their entire lives. And um, the thing about the first
child is that they trick you, right because they're like
really good on the planes and they sleep you than night. Um.

(11:44):
So I was like, I want to have another one,
like right away. Zara my second. She's only two years
younger than Phoenix, and it's been complete opposite. She's a
monster tired, like it's a whole thing. But um no,
it was. You know, now I up to and you
know a third is very much We'll see what happens.

(12:05):
You know, I need to win the lottery, essentially continuing
to live in l a But um no, I'm so
happy to have both of them because lightly woold not
exist without them. Okay, and let's get into the lightly
of it all. Um, at what point did this um
idea come to you? Was it once motherhood came to
you and you realized that there was a void in

(12:25):
the market. Was this something that had always sort of
been in the back of your mind? Right? So? Um,
Like I said, with Phoenix, I traveled a lot um
and on our very very first flight, we were flying
from l A X to Chicago. I'm a virgo, so
I have everything lined up to the tea with her
her nap times, and the flight eye itinerary. But what

(12:46):
I didn't anticipate are things you can't control, like flight delay.
So we got to l A X. We were five
hours delayed, and I had packed so many diapers and
I carry on and the restaurant in our check luggage.
So we're burning through diaper and we haven't even gotten
on the flight yet. And I look at my then
boyfriend now husband, and I said, oh my god, we're
gonna run out. And he starts searching the terminal at

(13:08):
l A X and he's like, I can't find anything, Like,
what do you mean you can't find anything? You know,
this is l a X, right, it's the fourth busiest
airport in the world. You can get Channel, you can
get liquor, you can get in Frederic like local fines um,
you can get k y jelly, but there was nothing
available for babies. And I was like, but have it right,

(13:31):
help you? Everyone's like, you know, and I think this
goes back to our culture, right, Like we do a
really good job of taking care of the pregnant woman,
but the minute you have your baby and you talk
about postpartum um, there's this this huge, massive gap and
how we're accommodating families and how we're supporting So that
was really the traumatic event and catalyst to me obsessing

(13:52):
over all pain points related to family channel right, And
and then we get to how what lightly is today? Um,
so we are working with luxury hotels and we're saying,
you know, um, walking into a hotel room that wouldn't
have any toilet paper would be jarring, right, like you
would leave so many reviews or no linen's on the

(14:12):
bed for that matter, you would be so confused, like
I just sund a thousand dollars at your hotel? Why
do you not have these things? It's no different for
toddlers and infants. So, um, we're just really excited about
challenging the status quo and saying, like the buck stops here.
We have self driving cars and plant based food, and
we don't have any accommodations for little people, Like this

(14:33):
doesn't make sense. We can work remotely now, So you
want people to come to these destinations in these places,
but you need to find ways to support them and
make it easy. Yeah. Um, you're you're so right. And
it's always fascinating to me when an amazing business idea
comes into the picture. It's like, oh my god, why
didn't I think of that? And it's like it's so obvious,

(14:55):
but not because no one is is doing this and
the way that you're doing it, so it is truly
disruptive in a way that's like, Wow, it took this
long for someone to realize and decided to show up
in that way, because you're right, you can show I've
bought us from a miracle before, certainly about all the liquor,
don't give me starting on the rum that I bring

(15:16):
back from any island ever. Know, you don't think about
until you think about it, and that's not a thing
that I've had to think about yet. I'm not in
the thrones of motherhood. Um, and so it's awesome that
you're there to help build that void and advocating that
way for mothers and fathers, for parents period. Um. I
feel like this conversation, this real Woman, Real Story segment

(15:38):
is two parts. Right, there's mommy hood and balancing it,
and then there's also this conversation around entrepreneurship and anyone
might be interested in building a business, particularly a woman
of color or a black woman, and in some of
the challenges obstacles that one might run into when getting
that off the ground. So I'm conflicted in which way

(15:59):
I want to take it first. Yeah, talk about I'll
I'll let you lead that in asking what have you found?
What have you found to be the biggest challenge in
your journey UM to being a mother who is also
an entrepreneur? Is it being a mother? Is it being

(16:19):
a black woman in entrepreneurship? Is it being a woman
in entrepreneurship? Like? What has been the thing you've had
to fight against the most? Yeah, I guess I'll start with. UM.
The hardest part on all of this, and the reason
why I love your podcast is because of the name
Hot Happy Mess is there's no perfect experience, right, is

(16:39):
a hot, happy mess and sometimes not happy right? And
I think that if we're honest about that part and
you're setting that expectation, UM, it makes it a little
bit more digestible to get through the days and the weeks. UM.
I will also say that the quality UM of my
caregiving is reflected of my ability to practice self care

(17:01):
so UM, in terms of juggling all of these things,
if I haven't spent the time UM to make sure
that my cup is full, I have nothing left to
give to my little ones, to my husband, to the business.
And so keeping that at the forefront of of how
I operate helps me UM tackle what most people are like,

(17:23):
how are you doing all of these things? Right? UM?
And so I think in terms of challenges and what
I'm facing. UM, there's no secret that UM, only one
percent of institutional capital goes to blown and black and
brown founders, right, And that's really hard UM to swallow
every day knowing that, UM, I'm coming with a product

(17:48):
in a business that deserves funding and that should be
UM so clear for investors. But we're also navigating against
the challenges of just systemic raissicism and historical data that shows, UM,
it's gonna be really hard for you to get funding
because people don't look like you, right, UM. And so
I think for me, ultimately it's staying present with I'm

(18:13):
just a facilitator of lightly. If you don't understand what's
happening here, that's okay. I'm not taking this personally, but
I'm gonna find the next opportunity in the next person
who really sees our vision. And and it's not easy.
I mean, like I said, in terms of my self
care regiment. Um, a therapist is included in that, right,
Like that mental health is super important and not carrying

(18:37):
the resentment of whatever happened during that day or is
making building lightly so challenging for me? Right? And and
uh to those challenges that that have come with building lightly,
what have they been? You know? You, from what I understand,
built this business during a global pandemic, right, Like no

(18:59):
big deal? But also what like how do you pull
that off? Navigate that? Yeah? I mean I think that's
the funniest part, right is Like I literally was like, hey, babe,
I'm going to start a travel start up and there's
a pandemic, you know, like get on board. Um. I think,
like I said, I think it's just a matter of um.

(19:21):
When you know you're right and you have such a
conviction and what you're doing is actually making a true impact,
like a positive impact. The time that it happens doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter, you know. And I think for me
having these conversations with with hospitality executives and CEOs of
airports and UM travel advisors is to say, um, help

(19:47):
me pioneer the next generation of travel, Like let's raise
these standards and it's about exciting people, right. We are
doing something so special here and that's just to make
um our children and they're lives better. You know. I
don't want Phoenix ors are to ever know that diapers
and what whites weren't available at hotels like I want
that to be some really weird idea for them. Um.

(20:10):
And when we focus on the next generation, I think
it doesn't matter what crazy thing is happening in the world.
We all are so inspired to do better. Mmmmm. I
love that. I love the mission behind what you're doing
here and the kid the key asks and the nursery kids.
I mean, it's ingenious for those who may just now
be getting familiar with Lightly. Break it down. What exactly

(20:32):
will we be encountering if we get Lightly in the airport? Yeah?
Great question. So Lightly in and of itself is what
we do as we design and sell customizable nursery kits,
and we sell them directly to luxury hotel so you
don't actually, um, well, you will never have a direct
interaction with Lightly as if you were to like shop

(20:55):
online for a kit. But um, if you go to
our example the Rosewood Merorma and Santa Barbara with your babies.
They will have our kit available and waiting for you
in the room. So it's exciting for us is to
find ways for hotels to elevate their guest amenities and say, hey,

(21:16):
let's work with your concierge teams in your VI I
P teams and let UM your guests know that they
don't have to bring all this stuff now like you've
thought about them and you're not passing out. You know, UM,
you know subpar quality products. You provided them with really
beautiful brands and premium products and things that they no
longer have to compromise all the way from home. Now

(21:38):
on the flip side of that, UM, we started launching
these kiosk at airports because I ran out of diverse
at the airport. So UM, I want to be able
to support parents and transit and there you can buy
all the cart products. UM. You know, things that you
know that you forget or um lose, like diapers and
wet wipes and passifiers. Because I think it is important

(22:01):
to say, UM, if I'm going to convince you to
travel lightly and you know your hotel is going to
have it, there are things that we can't control, right
like the inevitable moments, the throw up, and so knowing
that our chios are launching at these Um. Look, so
that's where the name comes from. You said travel lightly,
and I'm like, oh, I love that. Yeah, literally, Like

(22:24):
and if you watch, if you watch families, like if
you just like sit back and people watch at the airport,
which is my favorite thing to do, it's like chirp us.
Like when you watch a family go through, You're like, damn,
that does not look fun, Like, well, it's miserable, you know,
like nobody's like smiling. I mean my friends at at
private Suites, which is one of our clients. You know,

(22:46):
those families are smiling, but it's like they also have
lightly there, you know. So I want that for everyone.
I want luxury for all. I love that. And you've
said that you're working to disrupt the travel industry, and
I love that you want to make actually accessible for everyone.
That you want to make really just the basics also
accessible for everyone in a way that it kind of

(23:07):
blows your mind to realize isn't the case yet? Um,
And I know a lot of our listeners want to
do the same in their various industries, particularly the ones
who are trying to build their own businesses. UM. But
we know that when it comes to networking, access to connections,
contacts to capital, to funding, it can be very limited
for small businesses period, let alone at the intersection of

(23:32):
being a person and or a woman of color. UM.
So I'm curious to know how was that journey for
you and what advice can you give to you know,
aspiring entrepreneurs or current small business owners who want to
grow and especially are looking for funding, UM or support
from a network. Yeah, that's a great question. I mean

(23:53):
network is key, and I don't mean it in the
way of like, oh, you should be networking. I don't know.
I feel like there's like a weird negative connotation that
I have UM with that word. But I really, to me,
it's that that core group or community of people that
you have to support you and UM. You know, when
I look at our advisory board, UM, one of our

(24:14):
advisors is a black woman and a CEO of an airport,
and she is a personal mentor for me because she's
lived this experience and she can help me navigate this
uncharted territory as a fellow black woman. So just making
sure that you have somebody in your corner as an
advocate for you personally and business with your business that

(24:38):
has shared some sort of lived experience as a black
or brown founder is super important. UM. My therapy piece
is also really important to me. UM. Like I said,
mental health, I don't I don't take that lightly and
no pen intended, UM, but it is. It's it's so
crucial in this idea of showing up every day, being vulnerable,

(25:00):
putting yourself out there and knowing you're gonna get rejection
and not letting that impact you in a way that
prohibits you from UM taking the vital criticism and constructive
criticism and using that to UM modify your business or
whatever you're doing, and then go get that check or
um whatever capital you're trying to raise. And and there's
emerging you know, there's emerging funds that are really focused

(25:23):
on diversity and inclusion. So it's being really specific and
focus on your search for where you're trying to find capital.
Really take the time to look at these funds or
investors or these groups UM and understand what's their thesis.
They all will tell you like, here's what here's our focus.
You know, if you're a beauty brand, you shouldn't really

(25:43):
be going after tech investors right like, they just aren't
going to have that correlation. So it's understanding your product
and understanding what it is that you do best, and
then finding strategic investors who can actually help you, because
that the worst thing that can happen is even if
you get over the hurdle of being a packer brown
founder and raising capital, if the capital is not smart,

(26:04):
you know, you're left with just all of this money
but no real guidance or UM support to help you
propel your business to the next level. Really great advice.
Are there any specific resources, websites or platforms that you've
used or that you would encourage other people to maybe
google or check out. Yeah, I would say from the

(26:25):
female entrepreneur side, there's a UM platform called I Fund Women,
and they always provide a lot of interesting information around
grant opportunities UM in addition to just like workshops and coaching,
and I just love that CEO. She's a straight shooter,
She'll tell you like it is, and more than anything,

(26:46):
you need honesty, especially in the infancy of your startup,
and so UM, I love I Fund Women. UM. In
terms of black and brown founders, and any support there.
I mean it's a small pool, right, like the investors
aren't but the world not big in terms of finding
the black founders. So just get on LinkedIn, like look around, um,

(27:06):
there are some incredible black UH managed funds out there,
and just reaching out to those people, even if your
business doesn't fit their thesis, to say, hey, my name
is so and so, can you connect me with other
people that would be interested in what I'm doing, you know?
And and that to me is the networking and just

(27:27):
coming from a space of like how can I help you?
You know what I mean? And like letting that uh
process of servitude or the attitude of servitude kind of
like propel you forward. I want to pivot to the
mommy hood aspect of this balancing it all, right, like

(27:49):
building this business also raising two children, being alive, UM,
working balance for you? Was that something that always came naturally?
Was there ever a point where you got to a
state of burnout? Because I talked about it a lot
on the podcast. That is really what this show has
sprung from was my my absolute burnout to the point

(28:10):
that I was so unwell and so miserable, even though
from the outside looking in my life looked amazing, and
so I said something had to give, and I changed
a lot of things, from making sure that my professional
life reflected the core values in my personal life and
vice versa um to cutting hours in certain spaces, saying
no to opportunities that I used to say yes to

(28:33):
purely out of fomo being able to stand in my nose.
What was that like for you? Did you get to
a point where you were so burnt out something had
to give or has this always been a thing that
you've just sort of been conditioned to prioritize. I will
say being an athlete and playing professionally, I do have
a very high pain tolerance. Probably I'm very competitive, So

(28:55):
like those things that make you great are also the
things that can hurt you, right, um, and I also
have been through the burnout, and I think it's a
it's a I don't think there's like a balance. Is
a lifelong journey, right, Like we're constantly going to be seeking.
I don't think it's this like destination that you're gonna

(29:15):
get to. I think that you're going to constantly be
working at this, right and if we can accept this
idea that it's going to take continual work, but to
be aware of it. Um, you're much better off. So
I'm not going to to b s you. I have
a really big problem finding balance. And my husband, um,
god bless his heart, is the person going to be like, yeah,

(29:38):
like turn off your computer, don't answer that email like
come come do X y Z and Um. What's nice
about lightly is that we're really focused on shattering old
parental archetypes and and and ushering in this new identity
of modern parenting and equitable parenting and so um. I
have a tremendous support system in terms of like the

(29:59):
roles that my husband has taken on in order to
allow me to do what I do with my business.
But with that being said, he's still the first person
to you know, annoy me and say like get off
of your computer, No you can't take that opportunity, or
no that's not gonna work. Your bandwidth is maxed out.
And here's why I see it. And I don't always

(30:20):
necessarily like this information, right, Like you don't like being
told like your balance is off. Um, but it's crucial
to have a partner who can be so transparent with
me and not be afraid to tell me these things, UM.
And then again, like I said, going back to my
self care regimen, my yoga, you know, my silly nightly
pop addiction, my UM you know, just getting time for

(30:43):
a manicure or whatever it is, UM, and and my
therapist to really find that balance and to be able
to give back to my family and to my girls.
But my schedule is crazy. I'm like a psychopath about time,
you know, because I know like how compartmentalized it is. UM.
But you know, taking my daughters to school and listening

(31:03):
to them talk about Dora is like the best part
of my dad. I love to hear that. I can't
wait for that that chapter, that phase. I I what
stood out to me, UM when you first were speaking
about sort of your journey and the balance or lack
thereof sometimes which I appreciate that transparency, UM, is that
your partner, UM, your husband was willing to to sort

(31:26):
of stand in the middle and fill in the gap
where it was needed so that you could do what
it is you needed to do while you built this business. UM.
I'm curious to know what did that look like for you?
What were those conversations, like, you know, when it comes
to negotiating with a partner when it comes to compromising. Um,
sometimes when it comes to reconsidering traditional gender roles versus

(31:50):
what makes sense for you too right now, Like that's
something that I um deal with and struggle with. Then
you know, I am excited to rise to the occasion
of you talk about the modern family and these are
modern couples. Um, so what was that like for you
to sort of figuring out what works for you? Um,
even if it doesn't necessarily make sense to others. Yeah,

(32:11):
we're still working it out. So this is not solved. Um,
we it takes. It also takes couples therapy and having
a translator when there are times where we feel like
we're speaking to different languages. Um, my husband and I
also have a significant age gap. So we talk about
modern parenting and then the roles, the gender roles, and

(32:34):
where he came from in terms of his generation and
how he was raised. And then to be married to
a Himan who was like no, no, no, no, no,
Like I'm not doing he's older. I'm assuming from twenty
two years apart, he looks like he's twenty five. It's
really annoying. But um, we're twenty two years apart, and
with that comes a lot of interesting conditioning about like

(32:58):
the male ego that uh is a lot of work
to deal with, you know. And I think I love
him so much because he is so willing to be
vulnerable and like come to the table in ways that
UM I would say, most men are around his age,
UM aren't. And so for that that's why, UM, I

(33:21):
would say, we've had so much progress and in terms
of understanding that this is looking different than what your
family looks like, or what my family looked like or
other families you know, in the past. But it's not easy,
you know, it's um he does all of the laundry,
he does all of the cooking. I would put like sweaters,

(33:41):
he does the dishes, he does the dishes. Uh, I'm
gonna have to do with this. But you know what
I received that, Okay, Like that means it's possible to
get these men. It's possible. Don't give up. It's awesome.
I love that, Okay. So he's really willing to get

(34:03):
into the trenches in a way that absolutely against the
sort of mysterieotypes that we've all fallen victim to, that
our families have fallen victim to. That does take a
brave man, and someone who's very a brave spouse period,
whoever it is, um, and someone who's okay with doing
what makes sense for your family, even contradicts you know,

(34:24):
what the family or the community around you might think
is more right, right, And I think that that this
normal thing right, Like it's I said, the mission of Lightly,
on a deeper level is to kind of shatter these
archetypes and say, however, you want to be a mom,
series up to you, and like that's okay, and that's acceptable,

(34:45):
and here's how we're going to support what that looks
like for you. You know, that's so important to me
because I was really intimidated about becoming a mother. I
felt like I had subscribed to all of this media
that told me being a parent looked a certain way.
I had to have a certain personality to be good mother.

(35:05):
And it's kind of disgusting, right because you're like, oh, wait, no,
that's not true at all. Like I can't have an edge,
I can be assertive, I can um have a career.
These things are not binary, and they do not impact
the way that I parent my children. In fact, my
girls are rock stars, probably because I am the way

(35:26):
that I am and so it's like the self acceptance.
It's it's literally saying like I'm going to stand in
my note, which is I love how you phrase that
I'm gonna stand in my note with how the world
tells me. I think should look and recognize that that
is just such garbage. UM. And I think having these
conversations with my husband too, he feels the freedom from

(35:47):
you know, what ideas are put on him about like
what it means to be a husband you know, um,
in the past and what that looks like today. And
I think for us, um, the fact that we are
each other's biggest fans, um is all that matters, right
because at the end of the day, I'm in bed
with him, not whatever is on TV or whatever somebody

(36:08):
told me. Right right, so beautifully, so beautifully said um,
and a really spot on perspective. I think you've brought
so many gyms even in that you know, it really
is just about what makes sense for the two of you.
And at the end of the day, at the end
of you know, every evening, it's the two of you
in that bed. So who gives you a day? Yeah,
we got married. We got married in like we got

(36:31):
married in the middle of the pandemic, and even that
was like, people are like, why would you do that?
Why wouldn't you guys just wait until whatever you know?
And my first response was like, well, do you have
a direct line to God? Like how do you know
that this is all going to work out? Right? Yeah?
And it looks at here we are now and people,
you know, we're still in there, girl, and now they're

(36:54):
talking about monkey packs and I'm just like, I can't
between the two of us, you know. And um, we
got married in Malibu. It was twenty people on the beach.
Was the perfect wedding. I would not change it for
the world. And I think it was such a great
reminder of like, this is just about you and me,
and this is us for the rest of our lives,
and our families can say what they want to say,

(37:15):
but ultimately, at the end of the day, we're not
stopping our lives for other people, and we're not adapting
our behavior to make other people feel comfortable, right. Um.
And I think when you put um your relationship and
that sanctity first, it helps you generate a really trusting
and nurturing environment for you guys to tackle whatever you're

(37:37):
trying to tackle Hey man, I love that you mentioned
you know, like my daughters are rock stars and it
is because right there seeing their mother be a rock star,
go out into the world and make things happen. And
I so love that because you know, this podcast it's
focus is best life minus the burnout, and so many
of the women, the people listening, you know, we get memories,

(37:58):
get everybody in between, UM who are listening and are
very ambitious or are high achieving, and I think there's
a hesitation with a lot of us who are still
um not mothers or fathers, are not parents yet, because
it's like I want to go into that next chapter.
I want the babies. I want a family. But if

(38:21):
that means I have to trade this amazing career that
I've built for myself, then I don't know what to
tell you. I'm tapping out. And I've always felt that
I could have both, that I could have it all
and maybe not all at once, and it might be
seventy five whatever else UM at various points, but I
never felt like I had to give up um, this

(38:42):
amazing life that I've created for myself in exchange for
the children. I'm like, if I want to go to Europe.
I'm throwing that baby on my back and they're gonna
be seeing Europe twenty years before before I ever got
the chance to see it. So you know, just about
making your own rules. And you are living proof of that. You,
your husband, your two children are living proof that it

(39:03):
is absolutely possible to carve out a life that feels
good for you as this say, and as a unit. Yeah, absolutely,
and and it it's it's a hot, happy mess, you know,
Like that's what that looks like. And I love it
and I wouldn't trade it for anything. And you're right
For anybody who's ever like, oh what am I giving

(39:26):
up in order to have this family? Like you have
to you have to alter your mindset. You're not giving
up anything. You're just gonna have a hot, happy mass
in your hands, and you have to be okay with that, right, Like,
it's not going to be perfect. You're gonna have bad days.
There are going to be balls that get dropped. But
when you focus on back to that network and that
community of people who are going to support you and

(39:49):
finding that job or career, that's going to nurture work
life balance, which is hard because, like I said, culture
is changing. It's we're not entirely there yet. Um, the
television and entertainment industry, it's tough, you know, Like it's not, um,
you know, the most popular thing to have a family
and be able to say no to opportunity. So I

(40:11):
think it's going to take more people saying you know what, no,
I'm not going to take this position because you aren't
going to support me with X, Y Z, right, and
you're not gonna be flexible, and for that reason, you're
gonna lose good talent. Like when there are more of
us saying that they're gonna change, right, Um, And so yeah,
I think just knowing that it's gonna be a hot,

(40:32):
happy mess. It won't be perfect, you know what I mean.
You're gonna make mistakes. Um, it's okay to be afraid. Um,
but your children love you unconditionally like nobody else in
this world. And so um, it's so worth it. Yeah,
well said, so well said. Uh. I'm always about finding
the magic, right, I say it often on the podcast

(40:54):
The Magic in the Middle of Life se messages like
one day I just realized, I don't think this mess
is ever gonna go away, and people from the outside like, oh, likeness,
and I'm like, oh, hang out with me for a
few hours, you'll see it all, um. And I just
PLoP waiting for everything to click, everything to make sense
and be perfect before I decided to celebrate my life,
to book the ticket, to do the thing with the friends,

(41:17):
like it's just like it's now I have to figure
out a way to celebrate and feel good in the
middle of all of this chaos, quite right, And when
you're an overachiever, right, like to your point, when you're
an overachiever and you're like a high performing person, and
I recognize this from just being in sports, Um, it's hard, right,

(41:37):
Like you the reason why you do so well is
because you're looking. You're always seeking to improve and be better,
and so when you feel like you're not getting there,
you're like, oh, man, you know, and then you just
recognize to your point, the light clicks. Oh. I have
to just accept that this is always a work in progress, right,
like finding balance is going to be a lifelong journey.

(41:57):
And if you can practice some um compassion for yourself, um,
it's much easier. And I'm literally saying this because I
need to hear it for myself, Like I need to
remind myself like it's not always going to be perfect.
You know, I presented lightly today to a group of
people and the video didn't work, and I was like
in my head, you know, and most people didn't even

(42:19):
notice that that was like a thing and so um
and all things like truly, if anybody remembers anything about
what I say, is just like knowing that like family
and your work and career are not binary. You can
have them both absolutely absolutely. You mentioned self care earlier
in the conversation and how therapy is a very significant

(42:41):
component for you as it is for me. What does
self care look like for you from a holistic perspective?
How do you put yourself first when you're not trying
to check the mommy box or the wife box um
or the entrepreneur box. How do you love on yourself? Yeah?
Great question. Shopping makes me really happy, not even like

(43:01):
not even like clicking and buying, but like literally just
like looking at beautiful clothing makes me like really weirdly happy,
Like I'll watch fashion videos for hours and I love
seeing just like artists create such beautiful garments and how
intentional that work is. That makes me really happy, And
it's like my way of practicing self care. UM. I

(43:24):
get a massage on a weekly basis every Tuesday. That's
our date night thing. We do it together, but obviously
we're in separate rooms. And that also provides me an
ability to physically let go of whatever is happening right
and just this meditation while I'm on the table, to
let go as they're literally moving and circulating my body. UM.

(43:46):
Yoga pre pandemic. I was a prenatal yoga instructor, and
so it was really kind of nice to have like
this built in self care UM, knowing that I was
guiding these women UM, and so I kind of try
to continue my practice and keep that at um, you know,
as something that I UM can go to and I'm
feeling flustered or anxiety um. And then traveling that's my

(44:09):
self care. Like I love going new places. I love
seeing new people and eating new food. UM. And that's
how I practice self care. Yeah, what's your favorite spot
that you travel to? Oh my gosh, okay, um. Madera.
It's an island off of Portugal, very like uninterrupted in
a way, like it's so undiscovered and like you can

(44:31):
literally buy out the bar and it's affordable. Um I
love that. Um. I would also say Bali has a
really special place in my heart in a boot specifically,
it's like a yoga haven. And um, I mean the
people there are just so amazing and so kind. Okay,
got it? Got it? Before I let you go, Dominique,

(44:54):
where can we go to follow you? How can we
support lightly as you grow this busy business? Yeah, thank you,
I appreciate that. Just follow lightly on Instagram. It's lightly
dot travel. Um, if you're going to a hotel and
you have little ones, email that manager or whoever and
say like, do you carry lightly? Because when the consumers

(45:16):
start demanding the expectation that they should be providing this,
things got moving faster, you know, and when they hear
from their guests like we want this at your hotel, um,
it makes my job a lot easier. Um. So yeah,
just follow us at lightly dot travel. I would say
our digital presence is intentionally light. We do act as
an extension of existing brands. But um, yeah, just make

(45:39):
some noise, all right, Well we will start making that noise.
You're certainly making plenty of it. You're making your mark
in this industry is so impressive, awesome to watch. So
congratulations on everything and we can't wait to see what's
next for you. Thankank you, thank you take care of
our happy Thank you again so much to Dominate for
joining me on how Happy Mess today. We sure to

(45:59):
check out Hot Happy Mess dot com uh and the
episode show notes for resources and more if you want
to support lightly and before I go, I want to
shout out more real woman stories. I would love to
highlight you on the podcast or an incredible woman that
you know. So if you have a story that you'd
like to share or a woman that you love to
have celebrated, hit me up hello at Hot Happy Mess

(46:22):
dot com. And if you love what you're hearing, don't
be shy to love. Keeps team Hot Happy Mess going.
So leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, five star
rating on Spotify. All that good stuff. Okay. You can
follow me on Instagram at Zuri Hall at Hot Happy
Mess and I'll talk to you next Wednesday. By
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