November 19, 2025 • 44 mins
Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Dr. Stephanie Wall.
Purpose of the Interview
- To share Dr. Wall’s expertise as a neuroscience coach, criminal justice professor, author, and mentor.
- To discuss her mission through 1 Million Lives Transform, a global movement helping women unmute their voices and lead with authenticity and confidence.
- To provide actionable strategies for overcoming self-doubt, fear, and imposter syndrome in professional and personal settings.
Key Takeaways
-
Background and Roles
- Served 20 years in law enforcement and continues teaching criminal justice and ethical leadership.
- Founder of 1 Million Lives Transform, focused on empowering women to reclaim their voices.
-
Unmuting Your Voice
- Many professionals mute themselves due to fear, lack of confidence, or imposter syndrome.
- Techniques:
- Awareness: Recognize when you’re silencing yourself.
- Pause and breathe before responding.
- Stand up when speaking in meetings to command attention and project confidence.
- Use phrases like “I’d like to build on that point” to engage respectfully.
-
Mindset and Fear
- What you tell yourself matters more than external criticism.
- Replace negative self-talk with affirmations and surround yourself with positive influences.
- Neuroscience supports that repeated positive input rewires thought patterns.
-
Boundaries and Time Management
- Learn to say “No” as a complete sentence.
- Set boundaries for phone calls and social interactions to protect productivity.
- Busy professionals should establish communication rules (e.g., “Do you have a minute?”).
-
Authenticity and Leadership
- Authenticity is key—embrace your natural gifts and use them to transform spaces.
- Leadership requires mindset shifts when moving from peer to manager roles.
- Mentorship should be intentional and specific, not generic (“pick your brain” requests need structure).
-
1 Million Lives Transform
- A movement to help women rewrite their narratives, reclaim confidence, and lead boldly.
- Focus on self-awareness, boundaries, and empowerment strategies.
Notable Quotes
- “Notice in that moment that you are muting yourself.”
- “Stand up when you speak—you command the room.”
- “No is a complete sentence.”
- “Our gifts are not for us; they are for other people.”
- “What you say to yourself does more damage than anything anyone else could say.”
- “Authenticity isn’t lip service—it’s showing up as who you truly are.”
- “Boundaries are not selfish; they are necessary.”
#SHMS #STRAW #BEST
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Rashon McDonald.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Our host is weekly Money Making Conversation Masterclass show. The
interviews and information that this show provides offer everyone it's
time to start reading other people's success stories and start
living your own.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I'm talking about you now.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
If you want to be a guest on my show,
Money Making Conversations Masterclass, please visit our website, Moneymakingconversations dot
com and click to be a guest. But if you're
a small business owner, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, influencer, a nonprofit, now,
let's get this show rolling. My guess is a certified
neuroscience coach, criminal justice professor, author and mentor who has
(00:38):
dedicated her life to helping others rise above self doubt, fear,
and circumstance to live in their full power.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
She is the.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Founder of one Million Lives Transform, a global movement helping
women unmute their voices and lead with authenticity, confidence and purpose.
Please welcome to Money Making Conversations Masterclass, Doctor Stephanie Wall.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
How you doing, doctor Stephanie?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Hey, how are you doing with Shaan? Listen? Thank you
for that? Oh I just wanted to hear one more time.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Well, you know when you got the credits. They are legitimate.
They just roll off my lips. He I'm telling you
something else about Dr wal It was more. I had
to cut it down. I had to cut it down
because I can't I have a thirty minute show. I
can't be introduced you m for five minutes. So I
went to win the highlights. And I think that you
get a clear understanding with this interview. When I say
(01:30):
the word mentor, she means it. When I talk about
transformative thought process and helping people achieve their next level
of opportunity, she does that. With that being said, let's
talk about your criminal justice professor.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Talk to us about that.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
So you know I for twenty years.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
I actually served in law enforcement when I retired, and
while I was there, I was a professor at our
local university here in Maryland, one of them, and I
still serve because here's the thing, when you work in
the field, more people complain about how people are serving
in law enforcement. Right, I served well for twenty years.
(02:11):
We're still very proud of it. Folks are still talking
about raving. But I wanted to teach people how to
serve the right way, so not once I retired, I
didn't stop teaching at the University of Levels. I teach leaders,
chief of police, of commanders, and those who are just
getting into law enforcement not only the laws, but how
(02:34):
to ethically.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Serve in those positions.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Now you're an interesting place. You're in that Maryland, DC area, right, correct? Okay,
I gotta ask the question about it. But for our
President Trump is doing with the National Guard a lot
of people. I've been there, in and out. I'll be
honest with you, I really don't see him. I don't
know where he has the post of that. I come
in via the Reagan Airport. I've taken the Amtrak's train
(03:03):
in several times. So what is he accomplishing? You're there,
you know you have a background of criminal justice as
a professor. What is the perception and do you feel
it was necessary?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
I'm going to.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Say, out the gate is my girl, Sonya was saying
Sony PRUITTZ right, who's all all over national television talking
about she also is a retired commander.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
This is this posturing.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
And I'm going to tell you I was in Washington
and where if you go.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
To some of the museums, right, if you.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Go to some of those places that you really not
even museums anything. There's a federal building, you may see somebody.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
In uniform one or two. Because this is where I
saw them.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
They look like security guards standing in front of a building.
And they even looked like, why am I here? Very uncomfortable?
This is I'm going to tell you, it's a bunch
of part strength and want I want us not to
get distracted. Right, this is a this is a distraction
from some other stuff. And I'm going to tell you
that it has nothing to do with law enforcement enforcing
(04:10):
any laws because there's nothing going on right, nothing that
the local police can't handle. And I'm going to tell
you for most of the local police, they don't like
it either.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
They just know.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
But hey, right, some of them are I guess just
keeping their mouths closed.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
I guess.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Well, I'm going to educate people about the National Guard.
A National Guard are as close to regular everyday people
as you can get, okay, And so basically you're taking
people away from their normal lifestyle because anybody who studs
us with the National Guard, yes they want to serve
their country, but yes they have an everyday lifestyle and
the benefits of that everyday lifestyle from being uh some
(04:49):
people called weekend warrior.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
And so now you put you use the word uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
You're absolutely correct, I do believe because when your mindset,
if you're going to serve, you're going to and enforced
things out of this country, not serving people that are
your maybe your neighbors.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Correct, some of them are were and or were federal workers.
Right now you've been called for this and or you
the palmer, the teacher, right whatever, the person brook at
the car dealership. But today you've been called up and
cold to duty. But you were not last time you
(05:28):
was doing doing anything with two weeks ago and one
two months ago on the weekend or those two weeks
a year that you've been serving.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah, I would say, I just wanted to get your
feel on it and just expose some information to my audience.
If they are interested in traveling to uh DC the
holidays are coming up, please go uh Like I said,
I was not stressed. I was not putting the pace
of endangerment. I was not uncomfortable and my many travels.
In fact, I'd be going there uh next month and
(05:57):
also the following month. So again let's talked about you,
doctor Stefan wrong. You've often talked about unmuting your voice.
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Listen?
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I was once and like everybody else, we have all
experienced things in our lives, periods and our lives when
we have lost our voice. And when I say lost
our voice, lost our ability to speak our truths, or
for whatever from some people call it imposter syndrome. Some
people call it just you just haven't your your self
conscious has been or your self awareness or you somehow
(06:29):
your self esteem has been challenged.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
So now you just stop talking.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
So before we could even deal with why you stopped,
you muted yourself. I would use the example of myself
and many other women as we got elevated. Sometimes we
put people in positions and we don't prepare them with
the mindset for the position. So when we get in
that room, we don't think we belong in there. So
we just sit in the room. We have the answer
to the question, but we're not opening our.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Mouths Now, I've been there, I've been there. I think
that your mind can raise You don't know. You don't
want to be embarrassed one.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
You don't want to saying anything that will be people
can question your ability to lead. Now, but you have
been placed in that position. So I have you on
this show to help us with some techniques and also
how to unmute ourselves in those situations, because that situation
happens in a lot of situations. You can get a
(07:24):
bad beat a restaurant and the meal that's been served
to you is not a good meal, but you mute
yourself and pay the bill, maybe even tip, and walk
out the restaurant instead of saying, excuse me, this is
not quality service, this is not a good meal. Can
I speak to somebody? So I just want to let
(07:44):
everybody know what you're talking about is not just an
employment situations, it's in relationships.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
It's a lot of things.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
So talk to us how each situation one should be
able to not so much be challenged, but be honest
with your situation exactly.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
So I'm going to tell you I like the music
that start with awareness.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Noticed in that moment that you are meeting yourself, Notice
right then and there.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
So if in using that example, I mean I've been
there too.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
I've been there, been in that restaurant and have paid
that money and instead of and then get complained about
it all the way home. So it's okay, it's okay
at tip, yes and tip? And notice is this a habit?
Is this something that I do all the time? And
how can I change it? And you know that he
(08:34):
is the deal? Notice it and breathe because sometimes we
just stop breathing. Breathing that moment, think it for you
got a couple of seconds. Hey what else can I
do differently? And you can talk to the person, say hey, listen,
if if.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
The way that sucked, maybe you.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Know, I want to talk to the waiter, but if
it's somebody else, hey, I like to speak.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Hey, just have a moment. Please speak to the manager.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Right, but some people will who you with will mute. You.
Don't say nothing, don't say nothing. Don't make us see
have you? Don't make us seen? All you trying to
do is have a conversation.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Sure do you say, I'm not gonna make a scene.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
I'm not gonna make a see I'm having a comm
say you know what, listen and this is where you
got to You got to manage the group.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Yes, you gotta manage the group. You got to lean
in because here's the day. There's a scene.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
And when you just ask, like you know the feeld
Fel found right, I know how you feel what I'm
gonna do, because if we don't.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Do this right now, I would probably feel the same way.
But you know what I found right.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
You have to manage the group and let them know.
If listen, I hear what you're saying. But if we
don't say anything, then this business will not elevate. This
person may not know that they the service they're providing
is not good service, and they may not keep this job,
and they might need you know how to get them
get into their head a little bit. Say look, I'm
not gonna make no scene, but I am gonna make
(09:57):
somebody aware.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Look, listen on your face.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Now you might have to lean in, you know, but
you have to say something if leive me. I always
use this example when and I teach I'm a man, woman,
child on good care who it is. When you not
you don't feel your.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Own purpose and power, you can't stand in it.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
An example would be when you're in a meeting now,
particularly women, and we're in a big conference room in
it and you're the only woman at the table, and
you get ready to make your point. I tell them
to stand up. Stand up when you speak, stand up,
and one everybody in the rooms because they're on their phones.
(10:39):
They're gonna turn around like, what is stuff you commanding
their attention? Then also, well just stand on up and
make your point and then sit back down. Now, what's
gonna cause one, it's gonna help me to project because
you didn't help the sound to come out. It's gonna
help you to project, especially for those people that can't
raise their voices, they don't project well, stand up saying
(11:01):
it's gonna make you feel a little more powerful, You
feel a little bit more confident. You will turn your
body around, you will address everybody in the room. You
will look more confident. Because what's the problem is oftentimes
those people want to elevate in their positions, but what
the people that are watching them seeing them do is shrink.
But when you stand up, you standing full and full.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
And they said, well, you know what, maybe she can lead.
She commanded this room.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Right right now, there's some techniques to just don't just
stand up, stand up, you know, stand up. I have
a few words I want to share, I have some
thoughts I want to add to that. Yes, push back
when you're talking, push back and then stand up. Don't
just stand up and start talking that's gonna shock right yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
And if ra Shawn just made a point, you build
on it. And you know what, I just want to
be that was a great point that Rashawn just made.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Thank you Rashaun.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I'd like to build on that if you were you know,
acknowledge the great point.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Don't just ask like you're the only one in the room.
Got a good point to make.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
They will then Shawn will say, oh, right now, she
will give you his attention.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Y'all heard what she just said. She's both on her point.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
All right now, y'all get to listen right now. I
know this now because I've done this. Definitely you're gonna
get teased afterwards. Now, Oh you have to stand up
making your or you just couldn't sit down to make
your point. But guess what, they remember that moment. But
that levels into consistency because I love the whole conversation
about unmuting your voice, but understanding the situation around you
(12:30):
can create you not to unmute your voice, but then
other people, your coworkers, your who you're married to, who
you dating, or your friends, they can also mute your voice.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
And so you have to be comfortable enough.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Like you said, to be able to say, allow me
to say this and you and what.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
It is, and thank you for that, Rashaan, because what
you are rewriting the narrative right when I said the narrative,
what you tell yourself about yourself, because sometimes I'm.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Gonna say for you, rion one.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
I was muted because I believe because somebody told me
you ain't got nothing to say, I'm not gonna listen
to you, and I believed it, right, so tell I
said myself, Okay, I got something to say. And of
course there was you talked too fast, your voice too.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Heavy, and I was like I talked, I.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Talked with zest, and my voice is not too heavy,
it's sultry. So I had to I had to rewrite
the narrative of what I believed about myself.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
And I found I'm not the only one.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Right right, right, right right.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
But you know, the thing about it is understanding criticism,
because criticism can't be a challenge.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I know that. I remember a long.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Time ago because I started my career out as a
stand up comedian, and I remember I would go on
stage and I would get what I felt tremendous laughs.
And I remember the owner I remember his name, Paul Menzel.
He called me and decided to Shawn, you could be
a lot funny if people understood what you were saying.
While he said, you have this accent and people really
(14:03):
can't catch all your jokes. And I went, oh, okay, really,
And I remember when when when Steve Harvey now was
nobody thought he could go to New York and be
successful because they thought that that country traying ain't gonna
make it up in New York. Now he's the most
longest running host on Family Few. So people can stereotype
(14:24):
you and because they want to challenge you and also
intimidate you. That intimidation plays a lot a big role
into fear. Let's talk about fear, doctor Stephanie Wall.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Listen, let's talk about neuroscience tells us and that in
science period psychology, but what we tell ourselves? Right, So
I always talk about you know, what was what junk
and what is? Les Brown said, junk and junk stay right.
I used to I literally used to say junk and
junk out junk and junk out right. But then I
was like, I realized, Okay, doing my studies, it said, listen,
(15:02):
step what it doesn't matter with our brain, this big
computer that we have here, all of the things that
come we feed our minds, all the things that I
say to myself is more important.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It does more.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Damage to me than anything anybody in the world could
say to me or I could read in a book.
And so I have changed about if I want to
change something about myself, every time I had to change
the people I was around, the things I was listening to,
and get into rooms with people who were talking about
things that I wanted to learn versus the junk I
(15:34):
was feeding myself. So I'm going to tell you that
in mindset, I know we also we keep hearing the
same moment like, well, okay, mindset, mindset, But it really
is about mindset. Really, it really is about what you
believe about yourself. It really is about what you hear
over and over again. If you tell a child, if
(15:56):
you tell any child you're bad, you're just so bad,
you're bad, they will be bad.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
They will rise to the occasion.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
But just the same if you tell any human I
d double days. We used to like to say, go
out there with your employees, the people that you serve,
your family, and your friends and speak life into them.
Just to make it simple, to take the science out
of it, speak life into them, change what you say
to them about themselves.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
You know, see, you know what you are the most
amazing person. I like the way you did.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Don't don't just fill no philoph talk about what it is.
I appreciate how you did this. Thank you for helping
me with this. You made me really understand it because
the way you broke that day would be authentic. Don't
be blowing those smoke up nobodies behind so they know fakeness.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Right right and in this authenticity right now.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Correct authenticity. I don't Someone told me that steth You
know you smile a lot. I said, you know, all
of my life, all of my life, I have heard
you cannot be a real person like that, can't be
who you really are. You smile too much, You're too
happy all of the time. And what they don't.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Know is that's the version they do of me now
as an adult. But I didn't used to smile right right.
Life was rough.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
I was trying to figure out why I was my
life different than all the other kids. And so once
I realized, you know, oh my, that's what the smile about.
I smile, I told somebody today. I know life is
rough right now in this world. This world is crazy,
and I can focus on that, or I can look
out right now, I can see the blue skies. I'm
focusing on what right now in this moment, on the
(17:36):
great people and the great things and the blessings I'm
having right now, and that makes me smile, and my smile,
this smile makes other people smile right right, and that
makes me and them feel good. So I'm saying it
doesn't have to be this big elaborate thing. Do you know,
when I'm walking into any place I do business, if
(17:58):
the person I'm doing business smiles at me, I'll I
can't every time I do the same thing. And I'm serious,
I mean it. Thank you for Shane. You smiled me
and they smile. And it's because people will give me
mean looks all the time.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
It's not them, it's the situation.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
So I tried to change their moment, give them a
little bit of light in that little moment that they
have with us.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
And if what would happen if all of us did
that right.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
And I'm talking on your on your job and your
house with your children, And because of that, that has
changed who I am, and it changed.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
And I know for a fact that wherever I.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Go, because I'm intentional, I change the spaces and the
places that I am in.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I'm talking to certified neuroscience coach, criminal justice professor, author
and mentor. She has founded one million lives transformed. Explain
to us what that is and why did you find
found it?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Found it?
Speaker 4 (18:57):
So here's the deal with Well, you know they tell us,
don't be a gatekeeper. Once I went and I mean,
I look, let me just say this.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Put the people in the bag.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
I went out there and got me a coach and listen,
you may need two three four.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Coats because you know, you depend on what it was.
I realized that I needed.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
To get some Sunday to how do I get something
besides my schooling, besides my schooling? How do I take
what I've learned and helped myself? How do and more importantly, once,
how do I take.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
All of this?
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I know I tell everybody else, but how do I
help myself? So I needed to become self aware. I
need to do all the self reflect I needed to
know how to use my voice.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Why do I think the way I do? I went
and got to help I needed.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
And once I transformed myself, I realized I am a
total different person and I'm doing great things in this world.
But I'm watching a lot of people around I felt
like I had it was like a hidden secret.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
So I said, I'm with you.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
I launched one million livee transformed because I figured my
training is transformed one life at a time, than each
one of us together will change the lives of millions,
millions of women. To help them to listen, mute their
voices right right, all of them use their voices. They can
transform the spaces and places they're in the same way
(20:13):
that I'm doing. I'm not gatekeeping. I'm giving it away.
I'm giving it away.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Please don't go anywhere.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
We'll be right back with more money Making Conversations Master Class.
Welcome back to Money Making Conversations master Class hosted by
me Rashaan McDonald. Money Making Conversations master Class continues online
at Moneymaking Conversations dot com and follow money Making Conversations
(20:39):
master Class on Facebook, X and Instagram. You know you
warn many hats because I said that in my intro.
Law Enforcement Executive Professor Deacon with and brought that US
coach and mentor how do all these roles connect to
your life's purpose? And telling us what is your life purpose?
We just came off of talking about the one million's
(21:01):
lives transformed, but technically that isn't always the purpose of
your life?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
What is your purpose?
Speaker 2 (21:09):
And wearing all these hats, how do they create the
authenticity that we're hearing in this interview?
Speaker 4 (21:17):
So you know, respond, it's so funny because I went
last time, I was out in US and I was
at the Speaker's UH event and you spoke and you
mentioned talked about mentor.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
I was leaning all the way in because you were
speaking my language. I said, if above all the things,
all these titles, I am.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
A mentor.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
And I am intentional about it. And I believe that
you know they I've heard it say, I want to
say Tremember I said that our gifts are not for us,
there for other people and when and I know that,
and some of the folks say, what is my gift?
What's my gift? And I believe, I believe, based on
my faith, that those gifts are those things that you
(21:58):
do that come naturally to you, you that make you
can not only feel good, but when you unleash them,
it transforms somebody else's life. And my purpose, I know
is is not just this right lip service, but wherever,
whatever it means. If I'm in, if I'm in a
space and no opportunity to unleash whatever gifts is needed
(22:19):
that I can do well it comes easy to me
in that moment, then I must not walk away without
transforming that space and using it, however that looks. In church,
I show up as the deacon. I show up and
support that my faith. I share my faith equally. I'm
not ashamed of it.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Everybody knows my Christian I'll babies, I'll give you.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
A good word and no matter where I am right
and if you need me to pray for you, which
I have in uniform, out of uniform, in a courtroom,
in a board room, I talk about good as God
is a good God.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
To some people that you get on my nerve. You know,
you always violent, you always feeling blissed. You know, why
why do you react to that? And why do they
say that?
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Listen?
Speaker 4 (23:12):
But my mother, my mother and a teacher, Miss Telephar
and some afraid told me that my energy and my
smile is going to make some people feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
It has nothing to do with me, but everything to
do with them, because.
Speaker 4 (23:22):
Sometimes all of the energy your light shines on people
what they're perceived shortcomings are.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
And I and here's the thing. When they start that,
can you shure all that a good? Anybody come in?
But good morning? And they said, oh yeah, I had.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
A professor to say what's good about it? And for
a second I was like, oh so. Then I said,
well I woke up right, you don't have an answer right?
And then I heard someone tell me she'd be like, seriously,
can't nobody be that happy? I said, you know, we
got Atlantic teach choices. You can choose to be happy
(24:01):
or feel happy, or we can choose to let this
world be this down. I said, I've been beat down enough,
and I refuse to live another day. It's a choice,
it's it's a choice. And I choose to be happy.
I choose happiness even if through storms.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
And sometimes I go.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
And and I before a storm, or while I'm in one,
I'm like, okay, Lord, help me, help me. I reached
off for some help and and me and the Lord
LAWD said okay, you just prayed to me.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
And I call on my friends and my people and
my and the folks that I say.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
You know what, I'm on a cliff m those people
that I know like me that they'll pray for you
and say and come over there and tell you.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Some truth and all and speak truth to you like
you know, well you was wrong. Let me be couse,
get better.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
I call those people that will tell me the truth
but will love me through it. I got my mentors
that my circle was tight, because you know everybody, you
can't let everybody speak into your spirit. But right, but
I call them and I say, this is where I'm
at today was rough. I think I might have made
a mistake or I might have I don't know if
(25:06):
I did the right thing. And maybe like what's all
to me?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
You know, doctor Wall.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
You know I'm speaking to doctor Wall, like I said,
She's a certified neuroscience coach. And you about helping people
rise above self doubt, which we keep talking about, fear
and circumstance to live in their full power. When we
live in an era today because of social media, you know,
because of the fact that people can contact you anytime
(25:33):
they feel like it. You know, when I grew up,
guess what you left the house? Guess what you got
a phone call where you pitched the little message machine.
When you got back home you found out.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Who called you. Now you can't do that anymore.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
And so you constantly are being restricted on being able
to find some your space.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And so with your process that.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Your one million lives Transform, how you helping us get there?
And also before you answer the question how can we
reach you?
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Okay, so I'm gonna say boundaries.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
I know you have heard it, boundaries, And if you
found me while I'm going that same thing.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
You where you can reach me at one million.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Dollars Transform dot com and of course doctor Stephanie Wall
everywhere on every platform, from LinkedIn to the gram and
on the Book of Faces and all those places. But
I want to tell you that all my clients I
fought with boundaries, was well, I fought with self awareness.
Because we don't know where ourself. We can't do anything
from there. But once I teach them about being self aware,
(26:35):
we talk about boundaries and why it's important to have them,
and why it's okay to have them, right because you know,
for all of us, we and particularly women and men,
quite frankly, we don't we are afraid to set some
boundaries so I teach them. Listen, it can be a
little small things. Hey, listen, how about if you are
(26:59):
always available.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
On the phone.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Let's set some some some timers on your phone.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Where you're shuting. Your phone just kind of shuts down,
or at least one of them phones. Y'all got to
like me, right.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
And or the and no is a complete sentence, uh rashawan.
There's so many people that do this. Hey, can you
come over and help me with thus and so? Oh no,
but I because I and all this, no, no, don't explain.
I have got I have mastered the know and I'll
(27:32):
be like concepting, can you do that's and so?
Speaker 3 (27:35):
And I decided singing on Oh no, no, I want
people to help.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I'm gonna tell you the doctor all you brought up
brought up something interesting. When people call me and they
asked me what am I doing? I am the conversation. Okay, okay,
all of them now you calling asking me what I'm doing?
She's right there, that is that's not a conversation. I
(27:59):
had a really I remember this real a big executive.
He would call me and he always wanted to ask
me questions about me. And I was saying, I said,
I don't do that. I said, I don't. I don't
have time to just discuss me. And he didn't understand that.
And I tell people all the time, if people call you,
there has to be a purpose for the call. If
(28:20):
people are calling you just to talk, wrong person to
call is me because I want to move my day forward.
I want to move my minutes forward, my hours forward.
And I think if you're on a phone and you're
not talking about moving your life forward, you know, whether
it's a relationship, whether it's business or any family calling you,
(28:41):
that call should not be about recapping the world. But
I tell you, I tell you hit a button with
me when you was talking about people asking you stuff
or want to invite you over to do things for
you that they want to invite you over, and they
specifically say clean and you can make a decision, moves
the furniture, make a decision, help me put together this?
(29:03):
Uh this this is family, but faith make it. That's
that's when people get generic. You got to shut her down.
You gotta said bod just exactly like doctor Walt says.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Otherwise you are going.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
To be uh a gossip pen when they bord, they're
gonna call you when they have nothing to do.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
In their life.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
They're gonna waste your time, and then suddenly your time
has no value. And then they start stereotyping at the
type of person that you are, so when you want
to be yourself, they will mute you.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Okay, wait a minute, so Jealai, I'm gonna give you
little tip I had to learn that. I'm gonna tell
you one of my girlfriend, Gloria, Gloria refol Banks. Y'all,
she taught me this once because she said, Stephanie, because
I remember I was on we know how when you
call your friends.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
They're busy.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Busy people don't have time. So she taught all of
us how to call her.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Right, this is what you look And I've been doing
it for over thirty years. Now, y'all, here you go.
If I'm calling you for Sean one, as soon as
you answer the phone.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
I'm saying, hey for Sean, this is Stepanie.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Do you do you have a minute. See, first of all,
don't start talking. Don't start talking with people you don't
know they might have a minute, because.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Ra Sean might say, you know, I really don't step
Let me give your call.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Right back, right right?
Speaker 3 (30:25):
I mean, how need you call you back?
Speaker 4 (30:27):
You know I'm gonna say that, so right and when
you and when you said you a minute, don't.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Take fifteen minutes. Y'all right, I'm calling because of this.
This is what I need. Boom, get right to it.
I mean, don't do no backstory, y'all. Busy. People got
ten seconds asthma, they can do you have? Do you
have a minute? They will tell you they do. And
this is heyer Sean.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
Listen, I'm calling because I need this, this, this and this,
and listen, can you help me?
Speaker 3 (30:58):
We'll do whatever the thing is.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
I'm laughing at doctor Wall because now just and people
have called me. They go, I have two things I
want to talk to you about. Oh I got, I
want to talk about three things. They'll say, you got
five minutes. And that's how they talk to me. And
they know that's, you know, because I've set the rules.
I've said, this is how I want you to communicate.
Because your scheduled. They respect it, and they say I
(31:22):
got They actually tell me, I have three things I
want to talk to you about.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
First, two three?
Speaker 4 (31:28):
This?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
You got five minutes? Hey, brother, listen to me right now.
I need you to be stable for about five minutes.
Can you give that to me? That's how people talk
to me. They specifically tell me exactly what I want
to do. And when I call people, I call people
specifically for the purpose of it. And you know, that's
(31:49):
that's me. I'm not saying that's everybody. But I will
tell you this. If you are a busy person, if
you are a functioning person, and you want people to
have a system of how to communicate with you, then
they should upfront say hey, I got a couple of
the ideas I want to share with you that's happening
in my life.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Then all of a sudden it can be personal. It
can be personal because.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Then I have the option to go, well, can you
can you give you like fifteen minutes to talk? Okay,
we have a timeline. It might go past fifteen minutes,
But did you not You have not trapped me into
a conversation because I look at that clock and go,
hey man, it's fifteen.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Okay, it's time to wrap this up.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Okay. I said fifteen. Now I gave you fifteen okay.
And so that's what the whole this old conversation. I
hope everybody understand what we're talking about with Dr wall
Is about being able to find your voice and being
able to use your voice comfortably in all settings, whether
and not allowing people to I'm gonna use this word
(32:50):
bully you down with that perception of how.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
You should act.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
That's very important, correct, doctor Walt, That is correct.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
Listen, All and change starts for the pause, not just
before it starts with the plan. Because here's wherever you are,
you have you have to see somebody say something and
you either no reaction because you're just so pissed off, right, or.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
You react and it just ain't making sense. You look, look,
just pause for a moment. Somebody says something because I
want to. I want to. I'm getting to give somebody
some something.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Right here, you have been offended, right, and instead of
acknowledging in that moment, something like making that person way
without business, you know, becoming getting in a banter. Some
bands are going on, you walk away. Now you have
to cook out mad about it. Listen, you ask a question.
If I said something, you could say, so Stephanie, I
(33:48):
would tell me exactly what you meant.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
By that, right, mm hmm, because.
Speaker 4 (33:52):
I might have been you know, it might I might
have been You may have taken it incorrectly. I made
it any checked right, and you say it and it
was offensive, then you can say, if I repeated it
because you asked the question, I meant this, and you
could say, if we're friends, say but that you know
that that kind.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Of all sends me stuff. Then they give me the
opportunity to set right there. Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
That wasn't my intention, right, because all these techniques are
so when someone contacts you, Dr Wall, what is the
process of the relationship where you're trying to build on
with these relationships and the benefits.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
So I'm going to say when they when they contact me, first,
I have to have a conversation because I'm a coach, right,
I'm a consultant, and sometimes we may or may not
be the best bit. So you might like what you're here,
and you may have a problem that you might need
a therapist because I am a coach and a consultant.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
But I have a conversation so I can see what
is it that you need?
Speaker 4 (34:53):
And am I the right person to get you there?
And it may and I may be or it may
be somebody that I.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Am associated with may be another coach.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
I'll say, you know what, Rashawn or or you might
be needed, you might once need more media help, and
then that would be one of my colleagues.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
Right.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
Well, whatever it is that you need, you come to
me so we can build on it. Because here's the thing.
I'm not gatekeeping, but if you are somebody that's out
there and you absolutely know I've been muted as a professional,
as a human, as whomever you are, and I don't
know how to get to my next then I need
(35:31):
to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
And I'm just going to help other people out who
are employees and companies. That's what HR is all about.
You go to the HR department and feel you can't speak,
feel you can't share your idea.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
That's being muted.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
And so this is a broad This is a great interview,
I want to tell you because we're talking about a
lot of things that happen to people in so many
different ways. And some of it we do control because
we can't mute ourselves. But a lot of situations, I
will tell you probably about native percent of it, people
are trying to mute you. They're trying to tell you
to fine how you should think, to find how you
(36:06):
should live and the direction you should take your relationship.
Because muting isn't always verbalized.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
It can be through action.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
It can be people can mute your opportunities at a
job by not telling you about the job. So it
means you have to be aware of opportunities from buying homes,
buying cars. This is such a grand approach for muting.
Some people just looking at us. A verbal term really
(36:37):
is about life. And I really want to thank you
for allowing me to bring that to the show because
of the fact that it's so many things. We fail
in Doctor Wall because we don't know, and they become
a victim, a victim because we don't understand what's happening.
And like you said, if you don't understand, take a
(37:00):
deep breath, pause and then ask the question. And that's
what we have to start doing, asking the questions.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
We do?
Speaker 1 (37:07):
We do?
Speaker 4 (37:07):
And you know think about you know, we both deep
into leadership, right, we always think about leadership.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
I don't know, and that's some of them.
Speaker 4 (37:14):
Some of my clients at you know, organizations, when they
bring me in, what is the composition is all right?
Speaker 3 (37:19):
So they have a whole group, they promote everybody.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
You get promoted from being the doer to being the
person who's to make sure it gets done. But you
have you got, you got all the skill set. Put
your mindsets not there and I'll go I'll use this example.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
And you know I was in, Oh my god, I
can I can do police or I.
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Can do profession right, administrator got promoted to the next
role and from what I was promoted.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
And now I am in charge of my of my peers.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
I went from being the person that was talking trash
and the breakroom with them, so now I'm the themness
and everybody else standing and now.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
She's coming down here. Tell we got to be at
work on side. You know.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
We was all coming here at the same time, punching
this clock right, and it.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
Was difficult for me.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
I wondered why when I walked into the room, I'm
trying to be like, hey, y'all, everybody was like bye,
and it's some one of them. And as a lieutenant
one time I walked in and I'm like, where's everybody going?
Speaker 3 (38:17):
And my sergeant, who.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
Had three male sergeants, they were like, uh, one of
which used to be my sergeant. So I was elevated
over him and he said, you're the commander.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Ain't nobody dad you coming to rope people? Getting up
out of here? I was like what? So and so
I had to.
Speaker 4 (38:35):
Have a mind I had to realize it's not personal,
you just on another level. And this is the thing
you have to teach people. And so Nail used to
job to create more of us. And so I not
only had to get my mindset right, but I had
to Nail teach the people that were managers under me
how to lead.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
It's all it's so many things.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
And when you lead, like before you go, you know,
your boss complaining about how your folks are not doing
the work. The question that I always answered, Oh that's wonderful,
so listen. So tell me what steps you took to
prepare them to do that task?
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Did they know how to do it? Did you show
them how to do it first? Okay, when you realize
they didn't know how.
Speaker 4 (39:18):
To do it, did you give them like a template
or did you show them how to do it? No,
they came to my office to complain that they had
to go.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
And so here's the deal.
Speaker 4 (39:26):
The one thing I know, before we can complain about
somebody else on the work, there's either a system failure
or leadership failure?
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Which one is it?
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Right?
Speaker 4 (39:35):
Right? And we got to take accountability. And so I
mean lead well, lead well by first being leading yourself well,
being amazing, showing up in every place as the person that.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
You want to be leading you.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
And now I would take that example, like you said,
you know everybody with that break.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Room was was was was everybody.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Then you got promoted. But I have to put it
back on you. You didn't understand the shift, the dynamics shift,
and everybody muted up around you because most lady in here.
Speaker 5 (40:10):
Now and they knew you, knew their personalities, their two
d they're the little secrets, that's the little back talk,
the little the little jabs and all that.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
So basically it was some fear in your promotion.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
Yes it is. So I'm gonna tell you, I'm I'm
gonna help y'all because there's some of y'all are here
now that has just got elevated to this new position
in your organization.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
So when you you and what you gotta understand is
you gotta you have got elevated.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
So that means you got to change how you think it.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
You're not here and these people right here now they're
not looking at you as if you are you're equal.
They look up at you like you one of them,
and so you model and be okay with it. You've
heard the term that it's kind of lonely at the top, right,
it's because listen, look, you can't go complaining to the
people down there anymore because they're like, you bet a
girl you up there down so find you somebody. And
(41:07):
for me, I was like, oh my gosh, what am
I going to do? I went and found the person.
As my brother in law said to me, he never
worried about getting to the next place because he always
operated at two levels above where he was.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
He said, I need you to start doing that. So
I was like, well I do that.
Speaker 4 (41:22):
He said, go and start getting mentored by the people
that are two levels above you.
Speaker 3 (41:27):
So after this once, I started doing that.
Speaker 4 (41:29):
And I mean when I say mentor, y'all for the folks,
and y'all got to y'all at me when you're getting
mentor it, don't go in there. Tell me I want
you to you to be my mentor. They were like,
what does that look like? What kind of times the
busy people ain't got a bunch.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
Of time, So be a good mentee.
Speaker 4 (41:44):
Say listen, I would love it if you could mentor me,
and and and whether it be.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
Can I do this?
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Can I take you specifics?
Speaker 2 (41:55):
What you're saying broad? And people do that all the time.
People do care. I can talk to you for another
hour speaking. I'm telling you cause people cause people always
approached to me. I need mentorship, really, and I immediately
go whereas money made conversations master class because you cannot
come to me with a generic term like mentor, because
(42:19):
that means that you don't have a game plan. You
just gonna throw some general term off to me. Well,
tell me I need mentorship and graphic design. Then I'll
tell you that's not what I do. I need mentorship
and engineer. That's not what I do. I need mentorship
and leadership. Go to YouTube.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
Yeah, I got one for you. I just want I
just already. Do you gonna say hanky and stuff?
Speaker 4 (42:44):
How many people said to you, Hey, for Sean, I
like to just pick your brand?
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Come on, see gee gee, that's what see that's the
people who called and go what you're doing?
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Huh, what I'm doing? That's what you called me for?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
So that phones in that same lane, Dr Wall, pick
your brain, my brain.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
I'll tell you this is.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
Somebody told me, uh, Steff, you've reached a level where
you're gonna have.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
To stop saying let people pick your brains. And you said,
no problem.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
But you before you pick my brain, go ahead and
pick this level on which invoice I'm gonna reasy because
they were like, y'all, listen, pick a plan because you
know that the pictures. I mean, look, they will pick
your brain right and then pay them other people all
this money for that same for some information. So they said,
you got to learn how to send them invoice and staff.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Why would you tell you, doctor Wall. That's why I
will tell you go to YouTube. But now I got
go to doctor Wall because it's not CoA sit around
with those general conversations. But I want to thank you,
my friend, for forty.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Three minutes we've been talking.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Girl, uh and I looked over to go, oh my god,
we're doing a part two again. Thank you for coming
on my show. I still been talking till I turn
around looking.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Girl. Thank you, thank you, thank.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You doctor Walll for coming on my show. Money Making
Conversations master Class. This has been Money Making Conversations Masterclass.
With me, Rashaun McDonald. Thanks to our guests and our audience.
Visit Moneymaking Conversations dot com to listen or register to
be a guest on my show. Keep leading with your gifts,
keep winning,
Hi, I'm Rashon McDonald.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Our host is weekly Money Making Conversation Masterclass show. The
interviews and information that this show provides offer everyone it's
time to start reading other people's success stories and start
living your own.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
I'm talking about you now.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
If you want to be a guest on my show,
Money Making Conversations Masterclass, please visit our website, Moneymakingconversations dot
com and click to be a guest. But if you're
a small business owner, entrepreneur, motivational speaker, influencer, a nonprofit, now,
let's get this show rolling. My guess is a certified
neuroscience coach, criminal justice professor, author and mentor who has
(00:38):
dedicated her life to helping others rise above self doubt, fear,
and circumstance to live in their full power.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
She is the.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Founder of one Million Lives Transform, a global movement helping
women unmute their voices and lead with authenticity, confidence and purpose.
Please welcome to Money Making Conversations Masterclass, Doctor Stephanie Wall.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
How you doing, doctor Stephanie?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Hey, how are you doing with Shaan? Listen? Thank you
for that? Oh I just wanted to hear one more time.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Well, you know when you got the credits. They are legitimate.
They just roll off my lips. He I'm telling you
something else about Dr wal It was more. I had
to cut it down. I had to cut it down
because I can't I have a thirty minute show. I
can't be introduced you m for five minutes. So I
went to win the highlights. And I think that you
get a clear understanding with this interview. When I say
(01:30):
the word mentor, she means it. When I talk about
transformative thought process and helping people achieve their next level
of opportunity, she does that. With that being said, let's
talk about your criminal justice professor.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Talk to us about that.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
So you know I for twenty years.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
I actually served in law enforcement when I retired, and
while I was there, I was a professor at our
local university here in Maryland, one of them, and I
still serve because here's the thing, when you work in
the field, more people complain about how people are serving
in law enforcement. Right, I served well for twenty years.
(02:11):
We're still very proud of it. Folks are still talking
about raving. But I wanted to teach people how to
serve the right way, so not once I retired, I
didn't stop teaching at the University of Levels. I teach leaders,
chief of police, of commanders, and those who are just
getting into law enforcement not only the laws, but how
(02:34):
to ethically.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Serve in those positions.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Now you're an interesting place. You're in that Maryland, DC area, right, correct? Okay,
I gotta ask the question about it. But for our
President Trump is doing with the National Guard a lot
of people. I've been there, in and out. I'll be
honest with you, I really don't see him. I don't
know where he has the post of that. I come
in via the Reagan Airport. I've taken the Amtrak's train
(03:03):
in several times. So what is he accomplishing? You're there,
you know you have a background of criminal justice as
a professor. What is the perception and do you feel
it was necessary?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
I'm going to.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
Say, out the gate is my girl, Sonya was saying
Sony PRUITTZ right, who's all all over national television talking
about she also is a retired commander.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
This is this posturing.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
And I'm going to tell you I was in Washington
and where if you go.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
To some of the museums, right, if you.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
Go to some of those places that you really not
even museums anything. There's a federal building, you may see somebody.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
In uniform one or two. Because this is where I
saw them.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
They look like security guards standing in front of a building.
And they even looked like, why am I here? Very uncomfortable?
This is I'm going to tell you, it's a bunch
of part strength and want I want us not to
get distracted. Right, this is a this is a distraction
from some other stuff. And I'm going to tell you
that it has nothing to do with law enforcement enforcing
(04:10):
any laws because there's nothing going on right, nothing that
the local police can't handle. And I'm going to tell
you for most of the local police, they don't like
it either.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
They just know.
Speaker 4 (04:20):
But hey, right, some of them are I guess just
keeping their mouths closed.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
I guess.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Well, I'm going to educate people about the National Guard.
A National Guard are as close to regular everyday people
as you can get, okay, And so basically you're taking
people away from their normal lifestyle because anybody who studs
us with the National Guard, yes they want to serve
their country, but yes they have an everyday lifestyle and
the benefits of that everyday lifestyle from being uh some
(04:49):
people called weekend warrior.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
And so now you put you use the word uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
You're absolutely correct, I do believe because when your mindset,
if you're going to serve, you're going to and enforced
things out of this country, not serving people that are
your maybe your neighbors.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Correct, some of them are were and or were federal workers.
Right now you've been called for this and or you
the palmer, the teacher, right whatever, the person brook at
the car dealership. But today you've been called up and
cold to duty. But you were not last time you
(05:28):
was doing doing anything with two weeks ago and one
two months ago on the weekend or those two weeks
a year that you've been serving.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah, I would say, I just wanted to get your
feel on it and just expose some information to my audience.
If they are interested in traveling to uh DC the
holidays are coming up, please go uh Like I said,
I was not stressed. I was not putting the pace
of endangerment. I was not uncomfortable and my many travels.
In fact, I'd be going there uh next month and
(05:57):
also the following month. So again let's talked about you,
doctor Stefan wrong. You've often talked about unmuting your voice.
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Listen?
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I was once and like everybody else, we have all
experienced things in our lives, periods and our lives when
we have lost our voice. And when I say lost
our voice, lost our ability to speak our truths, or
for whatever from some people call it imposter syndrome. Some
people call it just you just haven't your your self
conscious has been or your self awareness or you somehow
(06:29):
your self esteem has been challenged.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
So now you just stop talking.
Speaker 4 (06:34):
So before we could even deal with why you stopped,
you muted yourself. I would use the example of myself
and many other women as we got elevated. Sometimes we
put people in positions and we don't prepare them with
the mindset for the position. So when we get in
that room, we don't think we belong in there. So
we just sit in the room. We have the answer
to the question, but we're not opening our.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Mouths Now, I've been there, I've been there. I think
that your mind can raise You don't know. You don't
want to be embarrassed one.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
You don't want to saying anything that will be people
can question your ability to lead. Now, but you have
been placed in that position. So I have you on
this show to help us with some techniques and also
how to unmute ourselves in those situations, because that situation
happens in a lot of situations. You can get a
(07:24):
bad beat a restaurant and the meal that's been served
to you is not a good meal, but you mute
yourself and pay the bill, maybe even tip, and walk
out the restaurant instead of saying, excuse me, this is
not quality service, this is not a good meal. Can
I speak to somebody? So I just want to let
(07:44):
everybody know what you're talking about is not just an
employment situations, it's in relationships.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
It's a lot of things.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
So talk to us how each situation one should be
able to not so much be challenged, but be honest
with your situation exactly.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
So I'm going to tell you I like the music
that start with awareness.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Noticed in that moment that you are meeting yourself, Notice
right then and there.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
So if in using that example, I mean I've been
there too.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
I've been there, been in that restaurant and have paid
that money and instead of and then get complained about
it all the way home. So it's okay, it's okay
at tip, yes and tip? And notice is this a habit?
Is this something that I do all the time? And
how can I change it? And you know that he
(08:34):
is the deal? Notice it and breathe because sometimes we
just stop breathing. Breathing that moment, think it for you
got a couple of seconds. Hey what else can I
do differently? And you can talk to the person, say hey, listen,
if if.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
The way that sucked, maybe you.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
Know, I want to talk to the waiter, but if
it's somebody else, hey, I like to speak.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Hey, just have a moment. Please speak to the manager.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Right, but some people will who you with will mute. You.
Don't say nothing, don't say nothing. Don't make us see
have you? Don't make us seen? All you trying to
do is have a conversation.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Sure do you say, I'm not gonna make a scene.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
I'm not gonna make a see I'm having a comm
say you know what, listen and this is where you
got to You got to manage the group.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
Yes, you gotta manage the group. You got to lean
in because here's the day. There's a scene.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
And when you just ask, like you know the feeld
Fel found right, I know how you feel what I'm
gonna do, because if we don't.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Do this right now, I would probably feel the same way.
But you know what I found right.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
You have to manage the group and let them know.
If listen, I hear what you're saying. But if we
don't say anything, then this business will not elevate. This
person may not know that they the service they're providing
is not good service, and they may not keep this job,
and they might need you know how to get them
get into their head a little bit. Say look, I'm
not gonna make no scene, but I am gonna make
(09:57):
somebody aware.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Look, listen on your face.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Now you might have to lean in, you know, but
you have to say something if leive me. I always
use this example when and I teach I'm a man, woman,
child on good care who it is. When you not
you don't feel your.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Own purpose and power, you can't stand in it.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
An example would be when you're in a meeting now,
particularly women, and we're in a big conference room in
it and you're the only woman at the table, and
you get ready to make your point. I tell them
to stand up. Stand up when you speak, stand up,
and one everybody in the rooms because they're on their phones.
(10:39):
They're gonna turn around like, what is stuff you commanding
their attention? Then also, well just stand on up and
make your point and then sit back down. Now, what's
gonna cause one, it's gonna help me to project because
you didn't help the sound to come out. It's gonna
help you to project, especially for those people that can't
raise their voices, they don't project well, stand up saying
(11:01):
it's gonna make you feel a little more powerful, You
feel a little bit more confident. You will turn your
body around, you will address everybody in the room. You
will look more confident. Because what's the problem is oftentimes
those people want to elevate in their positions, but what
the people that are watching them seeing them do is shrink.
But when you stand up, you standing full and full.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
And they said, well, you know what, maybe she can lead.
She commanded this room.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Right right now, there's some techniques to just don't just
stand up, stand up, you know, stand up. I have
a few words I want to share, I have some
thoughts I want to add to that. Yes, push back
when you're talking, push back and then stand up. Don't
just stand up and start talking that's gonna shock right yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
And if ra Shawn just made a point, you build
on it. And you know what, I just want to
be that was a great point that Rashawn just made.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
Thank you Rashaun.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I'd like to build on that if you were you know,
acknowledge the great point.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
Don't just ask like you're the only one in the room.
Got a good point to make.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
They will then Shawn will say, oh, right now, she
will give you his attention.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Y'all heard what she just said. She's both on her point.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
All right now, y'all get to listen right now. I
know this now because I've done this. Definitely you're gonna
get teased afterwards. Now, Oh you have to stand up
making your or you just couldn't sit down to make
your point. But guess what, they remember that moment. But
that levels into consistency because I love the whole conversation
about unmuting your voice, but understanding the situation around you
(12:30):
can create you not to unmute your voice, but then
other people, your coworkers, your who you're married to, who
you dating, or your friends, they can also mute your voice.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
And so you have to be comfortable enough.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Like you said, to be able to say, allow me
to say this and you and what.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
It is, and thank you for that, Rashaan, because what
you are rewriting the narrative right when I said the narrative,
what you tell yourself about yourself, because sometimes I'm.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Gonna say for you, rion one.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
I was muted because I believe because somebody told me
you ain't got nothing to say, I'm not gonna listen
to you, and I believed it, right, so tell I
said myself, Okay, I got something to say. And of
course there was you talked too fast, your voice too.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Heavy, and I was like I talked, I.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Talked with zest, and my voice is not too heavy,
it's sultry. So I had to I had to rewrite
the narrative of what I believed about myself.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
And I found I'm not the only one.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Right right, right, right right.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
But you know, the thing about it is understanding criticism,
because criticism can't be a challenge.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I know that. I remember a long.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Time ago because I started my career out as a
stand up comedian, and I remember I would go on
stage and I would get what I felt tremendous laughs.
And I remember the owner I remember his name, Paul Menzel.
He called me and decided to Shawn, you could be
a lot funny if people understood what you were saying.
While he said, you have this accent and people really
(14:03):
can't catch all your jokes. And I went, oh, okay, really,
And I remember when when when Steve Harvey now was
nobody thought he could go to New York and be
successful because they thought that that country traying ain't gonna
make it up in New York. Now he's the most
longest running host on Family Few. So people can stereotype
(14:24):
you and because they want to challenge you and also
intimidate you. That intimidation plays a lot a big role
into fear. Let's talk about fear, doctor Stephanie Wall.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
Listen, let's talk about neuroscience tells us and that in
science period psychology, but what we tell ourselves? Right, So
I always talk about you know, what was what junk
and what is? Les Brown said, junk and junk stay right.
I used to I literally used to say junk and
junk out junk and junk out right. But then I
was like, I realized, Okay, doing my studies, it said, listen,
(15:02):
step what it doesn't matter with our brain, this big
computer that we have here, all of the things that
come we feed our minds, all the things that I
say to myself is more important.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
It does more.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Damage to me than anything anybody in the world could
say to me or I could read in a book.
And so I have changed about if I want to
change something about myself, every time I had to change
the people I was around, the things I was listening to,
and get into rooms with people who were talking about
things that I wanted to learn versus the junk I
(15:34):
was feeding myself. So I'm going to tell you that
in mindset, I know we also we keep hearing the
same moment like, well, okay, mindset, mindset, But it really
is about mindset. Really, it really is about what you
believe about yourself. It really is about what you hear
over and over again. If you tell a child, if
(15:56):
you tell any child you're bad, you're just so bad,
you're bad, they will be bad.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
They will rise to the occasion.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
But just the same if you tell any human I
d double days. We used to like to say, go
out there with your employees, the people that you serve,
your family, and your friends and speak life into them.
Just to make it simple, to take the science out
of it, speak life into them, change what you say
to them about themselves.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
You know, see, you know what you are the most
amazing person. I like the way you did.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Don't don't just fill no philoph talk about what it is.
I appreciate how you did this. Thank you for helping
me with this. You made me really understand it because
the way you broke that day would be authentic. Don't
be blowing those smoke up nobodies behind so they know fakeness.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Right right and in this authenticity right now.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
Correct authenticity. I don't Someone told me that steth You
know you smile a lot. I said, you know, all
of my life, all of my life, I have heard
you cannot be a real person like that, can't be
who you really are. You smile too much, You're too
happy all of the time. And what they don't.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
Know is that's the version they do of me now
as an adult. But I didn't used to smile right right.
Life was rough.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
I was trying to figure out why I was my
life different than all the other kids. And so once
I realized, you know, oh my, that's what the smile about.
I smile, I told somebody today. I know life is
rough right now in this world. This world is crazy,
and I can focus on that, or I can look
out right now, I can see the blue skies. I'm
focusing on what right now in this moment, on the
(17:36):
great people and the great things and the blessings I'm
having right now, and that makes me smile, and my smile,
this smile makes other people smile right right, and that
makes me and them feel good. So I'm saying it
doesn't have to be this big elaborate thing. Do you know,
when I'm walking into any place I do business, if
(17:58):
the person I'm doing business smiles at me, I'll I
can't every time I do the same thing. And I'm serious,
I mean it. Thank you for Shane. You smiled me
and they smile. And it's because people will give me
mean looks all the time.
Speaker 3 (18:09):
It's not them, it's the situation.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
So I tried to change their moment, give them a
little bit of light in that little moment that they
have with us.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
And if what would happen if all of us did
that right.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
And I'm talking on your on your job and your
house with your children, And because of that, that has
changed who I am, and it changed.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
And I know for a fact that wherever I.
Speaker 4 (18:35):
Go, because I'm intentional, I change the spaces and the
places that I am in.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I'm talking to certified neuroscience coach, criminal justice professor, author
and mentor. She has founded one million lives transformed. Explain
to us what that is and why did you find
found it?
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Found it?
Speaker 4 (18:57):
So here's the deal with Well, you know they tell us,
don't be a gatekeeper. Once I went and I mean,
I look, let me just say this.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Put the people in the bag.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
I went out there and got me a coach and listen,
you may need two three four.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Coats because you know, you depend on what it was.
I realized that I needed.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
To get some Sunday to how do I get something
besides my schooling, besides my schooling? How do I take
what I've learned and helped myself? How do and more importantly, once,
how do I take.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
All of this?
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I know I tell everybody else, but how do I
help myself? So I needed to become self aware. I
need to do all the self reflect I needed to
know how to use my voice.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
Why do I think the way I do? I went
and got to help I needed.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
And once I transformed myself, I realized I am a
total different person and I'm doing great things in this world.
But I'm watching a lot of people around I felt
like I had it was like a hidden secret.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
So I said, I'm with you.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
I launched one million livee transformed because I figured my
training is transformed one life at a time, than each
one of us together will change the lives of millions,
millions of women. To help them to listen, mute their
voices right right, all of them use their voices. They can
transform the spaces and places they're in the same way
(20:13):
that I'm doing. I'm not gatekeeping. I'm giving it away.
I'm giving it away.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Please don't go anywhere.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
We'll be right back with more money Making Conversations Master Class.
Welcome back to Money Making Conversations master Class hosted by
me Rashaan McDonald. Money Making Conversations master Class continues online
at Moneymaking Conversations dot com and follow money Making Conversations
(20:39):
master Class on Facebook, X and Instagram. You know you
warn many hats because I said that in my intro.
Law Enforcement Executive Professor Deacon with and brought that US
coach and mentor how do all these roles connect to
your life's purpose? And telling us what is your life purpose?
We just came off of talking about the one million's
(21:01):
lives transformed, but technically that isn't always the purpose of
your life?
Speaker 1 (21:08):
What is your purpose?
Speaker 2 (21:09):
And wearing all these hats, how do they create the
authenticity that we're hearing in this interview?
Speaker 4 (21:17):
So you know, respond, it's so funny because I went
last time, I was out in US and I was
at the Speaker's UH event and you spoke and you
mentioned talked about mentor.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
I was leaning all the way in because you were
speaking my language. I said, if above all the things,
all these titles, I am.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
A mentor.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
And I am intentional about it. And I believe that
you know they I've heard it say, I want to
say Tremember I said that our gifts are not for us,
there for other people and when and I know that,
and some of the folks say, what is my gift?
What's my gift? And I believe, I believe, based on
my faith, that those gifts are those things that you
(21:58):
do that come naturally to you, you that make you
can not only feel good, but when you unleash them,
it transforms somebody else's life. And my purpose, I know
is is not just this right lip service, but wherever,
whatever it means. If I'm in, if I'm in a
space and no opportunity to unleash whatever gifts is needed
(22:19):
that I can do well it comes easy to me
in that moment, then I must not walk away without
transforming that space and using it, however that looks. In church,
I show up as the deacon. I show up and
support that my faith. I share my faith equally. I'm
not ashamed of it.
Speaker 3 (22:37):
Everybody knows my Christian I'll babies, I'll give you.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
A good word and no matter where I am right
and if you need me to pray for you, which
I have in uniform, out of uniform, in a courtroom,
in a board room, I talk about good as God
is a good God.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
To some people that you get on my nerve. You know,
you always violent, you always feeling blissed. You know, why
why do you react to that? And why do they
say that?
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Listen?
Speaker 4 (23:12):
But my mother, my mother and a teacher, Miss Telephar
and some afraid told me that my energy and my
smile is going to make some people feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
It has nothing to do with me, but everything to
do with them, because.
Speaker 4 (23:22):
Sometimes all of the energy your light shines on people
what they're perceived shortcomings are.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
And I and here's the thing. When they start that,
can you shure all that a good? Anybody come in?
But good morning? And they said, oh yeah, I had.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
A professor to say what's good about it? And for
a second I was like, oh so. Then I said,
well I woke up right, you don't have an answer right?
And then I heard someone tell me she'd be like, seriously,
can't nobody be that happy? I said, you know, we
got Atlantic teach choices. You can choose to be happy
(24:01):
or feel happy, or we can choose to let this
world be this down. I said, I've been beat down enough,
and I refuse to live another day. It's a choice,
it's it's a choice. And I choose to be happy.
I choose happiness even if through storms.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
And sometimes I go.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
And and I before a storm, or while I'm in one,
I'm like, okay, Lord, help me, help me. I reached
off for some help and and me and the Lord
LAWD said okay, you just prayed to me.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
And I call on my friends and my people and
my and the folks that I say.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
You know what, I'm on a cliff m those people
that I know like me that they'll pray for you
and say and come over there and tell you.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Some truth and all and speak truth to you like
you know, well you was wrong. Let me be couse,
get better.
Speaker 4 (24:44):
I call those people that will tell me the truth
but will love me through it. I got my mentors
that my circle was tight, because you know everybody, you
can't let everybody speak into your spirit. But right, but
I call them and I say, this is where I'm
at today was rough. I think I might have made
a mistake or I might have I don't know if
(25:06):
I did the right thing. And maybe like what's all
to me?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
You know, doctor Wall.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
You know I'm speaking to doctor Wall, like I said,
She's a certified neuroscience coach. And you about helping people
rise above self doubt, which we keep talking about, fear
and circumstance to live in their full power. When we
live in an era today because of social media, you know,
because of the fact that people can contact you anytime
(25:33):
they feel like it. You know, when I grew up,
guess what you left the house? Guess what you got
a phone call where you pitched the little message machine.
When you got back home you found out.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Who called you. Now you can't do that anymore.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
And so you constantly are being restricted on being able
to find some your space.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And so with your process that.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Your one million lives Transform, how you helping us get there?
And also before you answer the question how can we
reach you?
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Okay, so I'm gonna say boundaries.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
I know you have heard it, boundaries, And if you
found me while I'm going that same thing.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
You where you can reach me at one million.
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Dollars Transform dot com and of course doctor Stephanie Wall
everywhere on every platform, from LinkedIn to the gram and
on the Book of Faces and all those places. But
I want to tell you that all my clients I
fought with boundaries, was well, I fought with self awareness.
Because we don't know where ourself. We can't do anything
from there. But once I teach them about being self aware,
(26:35):
we talk about boundaries and why it's important to have them,
and why it's okay to have them, right because you know,
for all of us, we and particularly women and men,
quite frankly, we don't we are afraid to set some
boundaries so I teach them. Listen, it can be a
little small things. Hey, listen, how about if you are
(26:59):
always available.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
On the phone.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
Let's set some some some timers on your phone.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Where you're shuting. Your phone just kind of shuts down,
or at least one of them phones. Y'all got to
like me, right.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
And or the and no is a complete sentence, uh rashawan.
There's so many people that do this. Hey, can you
come over and help me with thus and so? Oh no,
but I because I and all this, no, no, don't explain.
I have got I have mastered the know and I'll
(27:32):
be like concepting, can you do that's and so?
Speaker 3 (27:35):
And I decided singing on Oh no, no, I want
people to help.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I'm gonna tell you the doctor all you brought up
brought up something interesting. When people call me and they
asked me what am I doing? I am the conversation. Okay, okay,
all of them now you calling asking me what I'm doing?
She's right there, that is that's not a conversation. I
(27:59):
had a really I remember this real a big executive.
He would call me and he always wanted to ask
me questions about me. And I was saying, I said,
I don't do that. I said, I don't. I don't
have time to just discuss me. And he didn't understand that.
And I tell people all the time, if people call you,
there has to be a purpose for the call. If
(28:20):
people are calling you just to talk, wrong person to
call is me because I want to move my day forward.
I want to move my minutes forward, my hours forward.
And I think if you're on a phone and you're
not talking about moving your life forward, you know, whether
it's a relationship, whether it's business or any family calling you,
(28:41):
that call should not be about recapping the world. But
I tell you, I tell you hit a button with
me when you was talking about people asking you stuff
or want to invite you over to do things for
you that they want to invite you over, and they
specifically say clean and you can make a decision, moves
the furniture, make a decision, help me put together this?
(29:03):
Uh this this is family, but faith make it. That's
that's when people get generic. You got to shut her down.
You gotta said bod just exactly like doctor Walt says.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Otherwise you are going.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
To be uh a gossip pen when they bord, they're
gonna call you when they have nothing to do.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
In their life.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
They're gonna waste your time, and then suddenly your time
has no value. And then they start stereotyping at the
type of person that you are, so when you want
to be yourself, they will mute you.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
Okay, wait a minute, so Jealai, I'm gonna give you
little tip I had to learn that. I'm gonna tell
you one of my girlfriend, Gloria, Gloria refol Banks. Y'all,
she taught me this once because she said, Stephanie, because
I remember I was on we know how when you
call your friends.
Speaker 3 (29:54):
They're busy.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Busy people don't have time. So she taught all of
us how to call her.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Right, this is what you look And I've been doing
it for over thirty years. Now, y'all, here you go.
If I'm calling you for Sean one, as soon as
you answer the phone.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
I'm saying, hey for Sean, this is Stepanie.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
Do you do you have a minute. See, first of all,
don't start talking. Don't start talking with people you don't
know they might have a minute, because.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Ra Sean might say, you know, I really don't step
Let me give your call.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Right back, right right?
Speaker 3 (30:25):
I mean, how need you call you back?
Speaker 4 (30:27):
You know I'm gonna say that, so right and when
you and when you said you a minute, don't.
Speaker 3 (30:32):
Take fifteen minutes. Y'all right, I'm calling because of this.
This is what I need. Boom, get right to it.
I mean, don't do no backstory, y'all. Busy. People got
ten seconds asthma, they can do you have? Do you
have a minute? They will tell you they do. And
this is heyer Sean.
Speaker 4 (30:51):
Listen, I'm calling because I need this, this, this and this,
and listen, can you help me?
Speaker 3 (30:58):
We'll do whatever the thing is.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
I'm laughing at doctor Wall because now just and people
have called me. They go, I have two things I
want to talk to you about. Oh I got, I
want to talk about three things. They'll say, you got
five minutes. And that's how they talk to me. And
they know that's, you know, because I've set the rules.
I've said, this is how I want you to communicate.
Because your scheduled. They respect it, and they say I
(31:22):
got They actually tell me, I have three things I
want to talk to you about.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
First, two three?
Speaker 4 (31:28):
This?
Speaker 2 (31:28):
You got five minutes? Hey, brother, listen to me right now.
I need you to be stable for about five minutes.
Can you give that to me? That's how people talk
to me. They specifically tell me exactly what I want
to do. And when I call people, I call people
specifically for the purpose of it. And you know, that's
(31:49):
that's me. I'm not saying that's everybody. But I will
tell you this. If you are a busy person, if
you are a functioning person, and you want people to
have a system of how to communicate with you, then
they should upfront say hey, I got a couple of
the ideas I want to share with you that's happening
in my life.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Then all of a sudden it can be personal. It
can be personal because.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Then I have the option to go, well, can you
can you give you like fifteen minutes to talk? Okay,
we have a timeline. It might go past fifteen minutes,
But did you not You have not trapped me into
a conversation because I look at that clock and go,
hey man, it's fifteen.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Okay, it's time to wrap this up.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Okay. I said fifteen. Now I gave you fifteen okay.
And so that's what the whole this old conversation. I
hope everybody understand what we're talking about with Dr wall
Is about being able to find your voice and being
able to use your voice comfortably in all settings, whether
and not allowing people to I'm gonna use this word
(32:50):
bully you down with that perception of how.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
You should act.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
That's very important, correct, doctor Walt, That is correct.
Speaker 4 (32:59):
Listen, All and change starts for the pause, not just
before it starts with the plan. Because here's wherever you are,
you have you have to see somebody say something and
you either no reaction because you're just so pissed off, right, or.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
You react and it just ain't making sense. You look, look,
just pause for a moment. Somebody says something because I
want to. I want to. I'm getting to give somebody
some something.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Right here, you have been offended, right, and instead of
acknowledging in that moment, something like making that person way
without business, you know, becoming getting in a banter. Some
bands are going on, you walk away. Now you have
to cook out mad about it. Listen, you ask a question.
If I said something, you could say, so Stephanie, I
(33:48):
would tell me exactly what you meant.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
By that, right, mm hmm, because.
Speaker 4 (33:52):
I might have been you know, it might I might
have been You may have taken it incorrectly. I made
it any checked right, and you say it and it
was offensive, then you can say, if I repeated it
because you asked the question, I meant this, and you
could say, if we're friends, say but that you know
that that kind.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Of all sends me stuff. Then they give me the
opportunity to set right there. Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
That wasn't my intention, right, because all these techniques are
so when someone contacts you, Dr Wall, what is the
process of the relationship where you're trying to build on
with these relationships and the benefits.
Speaker 4 (34:31):
So I'm going to say when they when they contact me, first,
I have to have a conversation because I'm a coach, right,
I'm a consultant, and sometimes we may or may not
be the best bit. So you might like what you're here,
and you may have a problem that you might need
a therapist because I am a coach and a consultant.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
But I have a conversation so I can see what
is it that you need?
Speaker 4 (34:53):
And am I the right person to get you there?
And it may and I may be or it may
be somebody that I.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
Am associated with may be another coach.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
I'll say, you know what, Rashawn or or you might
be needed, you might once need more media help, and
then that would be one of my colleagues.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
Right.
Speaker 4 (35:10):
Well, whatever it is that you need, you come to
me so we can build on it. Because here's the thing.
I'm not gatekeeping, but if you are somebody that's out
there and you absolutely know I've been muted as a professional,
as a human, as whomever you are, and I don't
know how to get to my next then I need
(35:31):
to talk to you.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
And I'm just going to help other people out who
are employees and companies. That's what HR is all about.
You go to the HR department and feel you can't speak,
feel you can't share your idea.
Speaker 1 (35:42):
That's being muted.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
And so this is a broad This is a great interview,
I want to tell you because we're talking about a
lot of things that happen to people in so many
different ways. And some of it we do control because
we can't mute ourselves. But a lot of situations, I
will tell you probably about native percent of it, people
are trying to mute you. They're trying to tell you
to fine how you should think, to find how you
(36:06):
should live and the direction you should take your relationship.
Because muting isn't always verbalized.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
It can be through action.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
It can be people can mute your opportunities at a
job by not telling you about the job. So it
means you have to be aware of opportunities from buying homes,
buying cars. This is such a grand approach for muting.
Some people just looking at us. A verbal term really
(36:37):
is about life. And I really want to thank you
for allowing me to bring that to the show because
of the fact that it's so many things. We fail
in Doctor Wall because we don't know, and they become
a victim, a victim because we don't understand what's happening.
And like you said, if you don't understand, take a
(37:00):
deep breath, pause and then ask the question. And that's
what we have to start doing, asking the questions.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
We do?
Speaker 1 (37:07):
We do?
Speaker 4 (37:07):
And you know think about you know, we both deep
into leadership, right, we always think about leadership.
Speaker 3 (37:13):
I don't know, and that's some of them.
Speaker 4 (37:14):
Some of my clients at you know, organizations, when they
bring me in, what is the composition is all right?
Speaker 3 (37:19):
So they have a whole group, they promote everybody.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
You get promoted from being the doer to being the
person who's to make sure it gets done. But you
have you got, you got all the skill set. Put
your mindsets not there and I'll go I'll use this example.
Speaker 3 (37:35):
And you know I was in, Oh my god, I
can I can do police or I.
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Can do profession right, administrator got promoted to the next
role and from what I was promoted.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
And now I am in charge of my of my peers.
Speaker 4 (37:51):
I went from being the person that was talking trash
and the breakroom with them, so now I'm the themness
and everybody else standing and now.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
She's coming down here. Tell we got to be at
work on side. You know.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
We was all coming here at the same time, punching
this clock right, and it.
Speaker 3 (38:04):
Was difficult for me.
Speaker 4 (38:06):
I wondered why when I walked into the room, I'm
trying to be like, hey, y'all, everybody was like bye,
and it's some one of them. And as a lieutenant
one time I walked in and I'm like, where's everybody going?
Speaker 3 (38:17):
And my sergeant, who.
Speaker 4 (38:18):
Had three male sergeants, they were like, uh, one of
which used to be my sergeant. So I was elevated
over him and he said, you're the commander.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Ain't nobody dad you coming to rope people? Getting up
out of here? I was like what? So and so
I had to.
Speaker 4 (38:35):
Have a mind I had to realize it's not personal,
you just on another level. And this is the thing
you have to teach people. And so Nail used to
job to create more of us. And so I not
only had to get my mindset right, but I had
to Nail teach the people that were managers under me
how to lead.
Speaker 3 (38:56):
It's all it's so many things.
Speaker 4 (38:58):
And when you lead, like before you go, you know,
your boss complaining about how your folks are not doing
the work. The question that I always answered, Oh that's wonderful,
so listen. So tell me what steps you took to
prepare them to do that task?
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Did they know how to do it? Did you show
them how to do it first? Okay, when you realize
they didn't know how.
Speaker 4 (39:18):
To do it, did you give them like a template
or did you show them how to do it? No,
they came to my office to complain that they had
to go.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
And so here's the deal.
Speaker 4 (39:26):
The one thing I know, before we can complain about
somebody else on the work, there's either a system failure
or leadership failure?
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Which one is it?
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Right?
Speaker 4 (39:35):
Right? And we got to take accountability. And so I
mean lead well, lead well by first being leading yourself well,
being amazing, showing up in every place as the person that.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
You want to be leading you.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
And now I would take that example, like you said,
you know everybody with that break.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Room was was was was everybody.
Speaker 2 (39:57):
Then you got promoted. But I have to put it
back on you. You didn't understand the shift, the dynamics shift,
and everybody muted up around you because most lady in here.
Speaker 5 (40:10):
Now and they knew you, knew their personalities, their two
d they're the little secrets, that's the little back talk,
the little the little jabs and all that.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
So basically it was some fear in your promotion.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
Yes it is. So I'm gonna tell you, I'm I'm
gonna help y'all because there's some of y'all are here
now that has just got elevated to this new position
in your organization.
Speaker 4 (40:37):
So when you you and what you gotta understand is
you gotta you have got elevated.
Speaker 3 (40:41):
So that means you got to change how you think it.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
You're not here and these people right here now they're
not looking at you as if you are you're equal.
They look up at you like you one of them,
and so you model and be okay with it. You've
heard the term that it's kind of lonely at the top, right,
it's because listen, look, you can't go complaining to the
people down there anymore because they're like, you bet a
girl you up there down so find you somebody. And
(41:07):
for me, I was like, oh my gosh, what am
I going to do? I went and found the person.
As my brother in law said to me, he never
worried about getting to the next place because he always
operated at two levels above where he was.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
He said, I need you to start doing that. So
I was like, well I do that.
Speaker 4 (41:22):
He said, go and start getting mentored by the people
that are two levels above you.
Speaker 3 (41:27):
So after this once, I started doing that.
Speaker 4 (41:29):
And I mean when I say mentor, y'all for the folks,
and y'all got to y'all at me when you're getting
mentor it, don't go in there. Tell me I want
you to you to be my mentor. They were like,
what does that look like? What kind of times the
busy people ain't got a bunch.
Speaker 3 (41:42):
Of time, So be a good mentee.
Speaker 4 (41:44):
Say listen, I would love it if you could mentor me,
and and and whether it be.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
Can I do this?
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Can I take you specifics?
Speaker 2 (41:55):
What you're saying broad? And people do that all the time.
People do care. I can talk to you for another
hour speaking. I'm telling you cause people cause people always
approached to me. I need mentorship, really, and I immediately
go whereas money made conversations master class because you cannot
come to me with a generic term like mentor, because
(42:19):
that means that you don't have a game plan. You
just gonna throw some general term off to me. Well,
tell me I need mentorship and graphic design. Then I'll
tell you that's not what I do. I need mentorship
and engineer. That's not what I do. I need mentorship
and leadership. Go to YouTube.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
Yeah, I got one for you. I just want I
just already. Do you gonna say hanky and stuff?
Speaker 4 (42:44):
How many people said to you, Hey, for Sean, I
like to just pick your brand?
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Come on, see gee gee, that's what see that's the
people who called and go what you're doing?
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Huh, what I'm doing? That's what you called me for?
Speaker 2 (42:59):
So that phones in that same lane, Dr Wall, pick
your brain, my brain.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
I'll tell you this is.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
Somebody told me, uh, Steff, you've reached a level where
you're gonna have.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
To stop saying let people pick your brains. And you said,
no problem.
Speaker 4 (43:14):
But you before you pick my brain, go ahead and
pick this level on which invoice I'm gonna reasy because
they were like, y'all, listen, pick a plan because you
know that the pictures. I mean, look, they will pick
your brain right and then pay them other people all
this money for that same for some information. So they said,
you got to learn how to send them invoice and staff.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
Why would you tell you, doctor Wall. That's why I
will tell you go to YouTube. But now I got
go to doctor Wall because it's not CoA sit around
with those general conversations. But I want to thank you,
my friend, for forty.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Three minutes we've been talking.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Girl, uh and I looked over to go, oh my god,
we're doing a part two again. Thank you for coming
on my show. I still been talking till I turn
around looking.
Speaker 3 (44:07):
Girl. Thank you, thank you, thank.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You doctor Walll for coming on my show. Money Making
Conversations master Class. This has been Money Making Conversations Masterclass.
With me, Rashaun McDonald. Thanks to our guests and our audience.
Visit Moneymaking Conversations dot com to listen or register to
be a guest on my show. Keep leading with your gifts,
keep winning,
Hosts And Creators
Steve Harvey
Shirley Strawberry
Thomas "Nephew Tommy" Miles
Carla Ferrell
Kier "Junior" Spates
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