Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.
We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
All right, Thank you, nephew. The subject is everything is
a minor inconvenience. Dear Stephen Shirley, Everything is a minor
inconvenience for my husband, and I need to see if
something is going on with him outside of our household.
He used to love doing everything with me. He used
to initiate intimacy and afterwards he would always get up
(00:47):
and cook breakfast, no matter what time of day or
night it was. That was our little fun time. He
wanted to have a lot of kids before we got married,
but now he's saying that he doesn't know if we
can afford to start a family. He said that babies
take up a lot of time and are inconvenient most
of the time. That broke my heart, because how can
(01:07):
a child be inconvenient? He's been saying crazy stuff like this,
and I've been taking mental notes. I've asked him to
go look at TV's with me at his favorite electronics store.
He said he'd already put on this lounge on his
lounging clothes, so my timing was inconvenient for him. Same
thing with sex. The other night, I mentioned that we
haven't had sex in a week. He said that I
(01:29):
come to bed too late, and it's a minor inconvenience
to get himself in the mood that late. We never
had this problem before. We finally did have sex two
nights ago, and he went to sleep. I woke him
up and asked why he didn't go cook for us,
and he said that we need to get new ways
of doing things because cooking all hours of the night
is inconvenient. This is his new thing. Everything is a
(01:52):
minor inconvenience. Does this include me and our marriage? I
want to ask him, but I'm afraid of the answer.
Seems to me like he's focused on something outside of
our marriage that's more convenient for him. What's going on? Well,
you left the timeline out of this letter. But it
does sound like you might have something here, You might
(02:12):
be onto something. He's no longer into you. It sounds
like he's checked out of this marriage. He's done everything
to show you that he doesn't want to be with you.
He doesn't want to have children with you, he doesn't
want to talk to you, or he doesn't even he's
not even thinking about you. I mean, everything is an inconvenience,
Like he's saying, I hate this for you because this
(02:33):
sudden change in his behavior. It has to hurt. But
you can't just sit back and allow him to treat
you this way, for you to become a minor inconvenience
to him. You say you don't want to talk to
him because you don't want to hear the answer, but
you've got to face the truth. You've got to hear it.
You've got to face this fear that you have. You've
got to prepare yourself if he's cheating or if he
(02:53):
wants out. It does sound like something is going on
outside of your marriage. It might be cheating, that's what
it sounds like. He will probably lie if you confront
him about that, but you need to know what's going
on so you can take care of yourself. And you
should be doing that of course anyway, because no matter what,
you don't deserve this being in a minor inconvenience to
(03:13):
your husband in this marriage, Steve.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Whenever something is wrong in a marriage, why is the
go to answer it sounds like he's cheating? Because I don't.
I don't hear cheating in this letter anywhere. She didn't
find no number, He ain't hanging up, He ain't she
(03:37):
ain't changed, he ain't changed his cold, He ain't having
no quiet conversations on the side nowhere. He ain't missing
at night. He don't stay away for hours and come
come home. I don't hear in this letter anywhere. Sounds
like he cheating to me? So ladies help me? Or
(03:58):
I don't want to say surely because she's had her
turn with the letter and I don't want her to
interrupt me.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
So just ladies help me, Slash Shirley. Why is it that.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
As soon as something is wrong in a marriage, it
sounds like cheating to me. I'll give you an example.
I was watching this young guy on Instagram. I love
this dude. I don't even know his name. He's got
a beard, wireframed glasses. He wear a nit skull cap
all the time. He was had this dude on stage,
(04:31):
and the dude said, women, how many of you all
believe in women's intuition. They all raised their hand. They said, well,
then if y'all's intuition, if y'all can tell when a
man is cheating, yep, yep, they all raise their hand.
He said, okay, then why can't you tell if he's
not happy? Because this letter could be just a man
(04:55):
that has grown discontent and unhappy with something. And that's
where I think the focus should be, because it don't
sound to me like he's cheating. But let's go through
the letter and see if I feel the same way
after I analyze the letter. Everything is a minor inconvenience
(05:15):
for my husband. I need to see if there's something
going on with him outside our household. He used to
love doing everything with me. He used to initiate intimacy
and afterwards he would always get up and cook breakfast,
no matter what.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Time of day or that way. It was our little
fun time.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
He wanted to have a lot of kids before we
got married, But now he's saying he don't know if
we can afford to start a family.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Okay, Now, on a serious note, you know what that
sounds like to me?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
It sounds like the reality of what life really is
is starting to sit in. See, I've seen a lot
of men lose their dreams along the way. You gotta
be careful, ladies, because maybe your man is losing his
dream along the way from disappointments or something. So he
(06:04):
used to look though everything with me, used to initiate
intim see and all like this. She wasn't saying, And
surely's right, there's some timeline missing in here. She wasn't
saying if this was before they got married, after they
got married, and he wanted to have a lot of
kids before we got married. Now he's saying he don't
know if he can afford to start of him, he said,
the babies take up a lot of time and on
inconvenient most of the time. That broke my heart. How
(06:27):
can a child be inconvenient? Now, wait a minute, I'm
just gonna tell you something that is a true statement.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Hang on, Steve, Well, let me just put that out there.
The ass is very inconvenient.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
At twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's strawberry letter
subject is everything is a minor inconvenience. We'll get back
into it right after this. You're listening morning show, All right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject
is everything is a minor inconvenience.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Well, like I said at the top of the show,
you know what i'man At the top of this letter.
You know, Shirley was saying, it sounds like he's cheating
to me. But I want to warn ladies, every time
a man changes or and is unhappy, it doesn't necessarily
mean he's cheating. It could be this man has become despondent,
broken a bit, you know. He could be, you know,
(07:24):
going through some mental stuff. You know, he got nowhere
to channel his stuff. So I'm just trying to read
the letter and see if that's what I see cheating,
or do I see something else. He used to love
doing everything with me. He used to initiate intimacy and
afterwards he would always get up and cook breakfast, no
matter what time of day or night it was. That
was our little fun time. Okay. He wanted to have
(07:47):
a lot of kids before we got married. But now
he's saying he don't know if we can afford to
start a family. Okay, something could be going on with
this guy in his mindset that making him think he
ain't got his money and order yet, he ain't accomplishing
his dreams yet, he ain't where he want to be yet.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
That could be I just want to throw that out there.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
He said, babies take up a lot of time on
inconvenience most of the time. That broke my heart, because
how can a child being inconvenient. I'm just gonna say
something for him on this one. Right here, They ass
is very inconvenient. I'm just gonna tell you that right now.
They ass is always blocking. They in the way. I'm
just gonna keep it one hundred with you. Them babies
(08:31):
is an inconvenience. You believe that. He just said it
out loud. You just didn't like the use of the terminology.
He's been saying crazy stuff like this, and I've been
taking mental notes. I asked him to go to look
at TV's with me at his favorite electronics store. He
said he'd already put on his lounge and clothes, so
my timing was inconvenient. Okay, that could be true, but
(08:55):
if my wife tell me she gonna came me down
somewhere to buy me a new car or something like that.
I'm gonna go put my damn clothes on. I'm going
ahead and put something on. I'm going down to the
damn stoke were going shopping for me. I'm going down there, person,
So I have to put some damn clothes on. Anyway,
same thing with sex. The other night, I mentioned that
we haven't had sex in a week a week. You
(09:18):
ain't had sex in a week? Here, y'all doing up
in there, y'all. Y'all gotta go there on and crackit.
Y'all must be in your twenties, right, Yeah, I can
type this damn letter. Damn there once a month, you.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Know, and sex in a week, and and.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
I had this let out every damn month. That's what
you want. We ain't have sex in a week. He
said that I come to bed too late, and it's
a minor inconvenience to get himself in the mood that late. Yeah,
now that hear it, Na, this is the part of
the letter that we got a little. Yeah, I can't
(10:02):
save you on this one. Dog, you know, I was
with you with everything else. But he said, it's a
minor inconvenience to get himself in the mood. That late,
it's an inconvenience to get in the mood. Now, let
me say if I can put this so, I'm not
being graphic for morning radio. You're trying to tell me
(10:23):
that to get in the mood, I must get excited.
You're telling me that's an inconvenience. Boy, bye, excite me,
do something to me.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Watch this.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Matter of fact, I got a surprise for you. You
ain't gonna be how excited. You ain't gonna be how
excited I am. So that was the only one that
threw me. We never had this problem before. We finally
did have sex two nights ago, and he went to sleep.
I woke him up and ask him why he ain't
gonna cook for us? Hell, it's hard to cook when
(10:58):
you sleep. You walk the damn man up and saying,
why are you gonna get cooked? Why don't you cook
for because he's sleep. That's what most men do when
they get through. I ain't never got up, woodn't cooked.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I go to sleep, but he does.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Not.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
No mo And now he said that he needed to
get new ways of doing things because cooking all hours
of night is inconvenient. This is his new thing. See,
I think what didn't happen here? You know how some
women change after they get married, Sometimes dudes change after
(11:40):
they get married. This dude could be going through some
male menopause, or he could be going through some male
hormonal disorders.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
I don't have none of that. You know, if he's
sick well, but if he's six s though. But if
he's sick though, the cure all for sickness is sex.
So every time I got some bad news from the doctor,
(12:11):
if you tap me and straighten me out, I'll be fine.
Everything is a mind inconvenience. Does this include me and
our marriage? I want to ask him, but I'm afraid
of the answer. It seems to me like he's focused
on something outside of our marriage. It's more convenient for him.
What's going on? All I think you need to do
(12:32):
is ask that question that you are afraid of, because
ain't no need of you living behind that curtain and
the veil of secrecy. So go on and ask him.
It can't get no worse. If he tell you he
got something down the street, then't let him cares ass
down the street.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
But set his Car'll find all the clones. You ain't
got no word, all.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Right, poster comings on today's Strawberry Letter. Thank you, Steve.
It's Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check
out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app
Free Never Sounded so good. Coming up at forty six
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you're listening Dave Harvey Morning Show