November 20, 2025 • 29 mins
Two-time Emmy and three-time NAACP Image Award-winning television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Mori Taheripour.
🎯 Purpose of the Interview
To explore Mori Taheripour’s journey as a globally recognized negotiation expert, her personal resilience, and the empowering message behind her book Bring Yourself: How to Harness the Power of Connection to Negotiate Fearlessly. The interview also highlights her insights on authenticity, self-worth, and redefining negotiation as a daily life skill.
🧠 Key Takeaways 1. Professional Background
- Faculty member at the Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania.
- Holds degrees from Barnard College, Wharton, and a Diversity & Inclusion certificate from Cornell.
- Clients include Fortune 100 companies, major sports leagues, nonprofits, and government agencies.
2. Redefining Negotiation
- Negotiation is not just about conflict or business deals—it’s a daily life skill.
- We negotiate constantly: with ourselves, family, coworkers, and even in mundane decisions.
- The key to successful negotiation is knowing your value and bringing your authentic self.
3. Book: Bring Yourself
- Written to dispel myths about negotiation being aggressive or confrontational.
- Encourages readers to lead with empathy, curiosity, and authenticity.
- Highlights that anyone can be a good negotiator by honoring their values and self-worth.
4. Personal Resilience
- Mori shares her experience living with Multiple Sclerosis (MS), which she kept private for years.
- She discusses how prioritizing health and self-care became essential.
- Her openness about MS in her book was cathartic and empowering, showing that chronic illness doesn’t define or limit success.
5. Diversity & Inclusion
- Mori’s early career focused on public health in underserved communities.
- Her work in diversity and inclusion stems from a desire to create equitable access, especially in healthcare.
- She emphasizes that inclusion is about recognizing and respecting individual value and lived experiences.
6. Emotional Intelligence in Teaching
- Mori’s classroom is a safe space where students are encouraged to be vulnerable.
- She values kindness, respect, and emotional connection as essential tools for learning and leadership.
- Her teaching style blends academic rigor with empathy and real-world application.
💬 Notable Quotes
- “We negotiate with ourselves all the time.”
- “You have to honor yourself—whatever that is.”
- “If you don’t understand your worth, you will never be a good negotiator.”
- “Bring Yourself is about showing up authentically, not what society expects you to be.”
- “Kindness and respect will get you further than anything else.”
- “Sometimes enough is perfect.”
#SHMS #STRAW #BEST
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I am Rashan McDonald, a host the weekly Money Making
Conversation Masterclass show. The interviews and information that this show
provides are for everyone. It's time to stop reading other
people's success stories and start living your own. If you
want to be a guest on my show, please visit
our website, Moneymaking Conversations dot com and click the be
a Guest button priss submit and information will come directly
(00:23):
to me.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Now, let's get this show start. My guest is mariy
to Harry Poor.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Maury earned her BA from Bernard College of Columbia univer
of Columbia University, her MBA nother degree do I just
stopped the BA from Warden School of the University of Pennsylvania,
and a Diversity and Inclusion Certificate from Cornell University. She's
a globally recognized negotiation expert and the award winning faculty
member of the Warden School, a highly sought after speaker,
(00:50):
and the author of Bring Yourself, How to Harness the
Power of Connection to Negotiate Fearlessly. With more than twenty
years of experience in negotiation, adversity and inclusion sports business,
Mary's impressive roster of clients includes fortune one hundred companies,
major sports leagues, and leading charitable institutions and government agencies.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Additionally, Maury has ms and.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Sees it as a gift because in order to ward
off symptoms, she makes sure she lives a healthy lifestyle
with a proper work life balance, something I don't do
at all. Please welcome to money making Conversation, Masks, because
that somebody who will teach me some things.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Maury to Harry Pool, Hi.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Do Mari, I am doing really well. Thank you for
having me.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
I think he did some false advertising there, though, my
friend I did. I said nothing about work life balance,
because if that's what the interview is going to be,
your listeners are going to be sociald Well.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
You know you know what I do. I'm more. I'm
a guy.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I do my research, I read, I go to websites,
I double check, I backcheck. I do what you see
the word work life balance, you know some were proper, proper.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
It's hard because balance is hard. I don't know if
balance really exists. I think there are things that are
important at one time and other things that are important
some other time, and that's what balances.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
So I will tell you this. I'm a person that
I've gotten on that wheel, you know.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I remember I was early when I was managing Steve Harvey,
like in two thousand and two thousand and five. I
was afraid to get off that wheel. So I had
no balance. I was afraid to go on vacation. And
I don't know why I was afraid to go on
vacation at all, It was just a fear.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I think that fear pushed me not to have that balance.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And so when we talk about work life balance or
some type of balance in general, that's part of what
you teach as far as the negotiation has to be
a part.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Of your personal life. Correct.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Well, here's the thing, and I think this will you
when I say this, it will bring true to you
because I love what I do, I really do, and
I think that when you really enjoy what you do,
work doesn't really feel like work. And I travel, you know,
God knows, we're back at it again, but the majority
of my days, and you know, as I get older,
(03:05):
the travel.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
May be wearing me out a little bit, but I.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Never feel like my soul never feels exhausted, right, And
so I feel like that feeds me and that brings
me some balance. But there are things that I prioritize
at different times, like if I don't feel well, then
that that takes a priority, or my working out that
takes a priority.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
But you know, it's a constant. Life is.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Life is different all the time, right, So there's give
and take, and I think we create our own boundaries
and we honor those boundaries, and I truly believe that's
how balance is created. That's how balance is created in relationships.
Somebody needs something more at one time, others need something
else at another time. We make concessions, right, We're negotiating
with ourselves all the time. But I think you have
to honor yourself, whatever that is. And I think that
(03:51):
that's what balance means to me.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
That you can't really know right when I go to you,
you're not negotiables, you know what I.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Mean absolutely When I go through your bio, just CASI
academic success, academic success, and you know you have a
lot of worlds that athleticism. You know, have a musical genius,
you know you have you know when I when I
look at you, what what what is your gift? Because
I talk about gifts, I talk about you know, talents.
(04:18):
You know, before we get into what you're doing now,
When did you realize that this is where I can
be a this is where I can really hone my
best level of blessings for my life.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I think it's become really clear to me. I think,
you know, we talked about finding your purpose. I think
I'm most grateful for the opportunity to teach. It's where
I feel most authentically myself. I like the opportunity to
affect people, impact their lives, give them, you know, make
(04:53):
them feel more empowered. And I grew up not knowing this, right,
I never thought i'd teach. I never public speaking was
not my thing. It's scared really well, absolutely, I'm an introvert,
though most people don't believe that, but standing in front
of people, oh my god, that scared me.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
So my parents want me to be a doctor. Actually correction,
my dad did.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
So.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I went through college as pre med.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Then what you know, became an entrepreneur, went to business school,
and when I was graduating Wharton, one of my professors
actually thought this is what I could do well and
I thought he was crazy. And that was eighteen years
ago or sean. So you fall upon these things sometimes
and then you realize it's exactly where you were meant
(05:41):
to be. And is it a gift? It is, it's
a blessing every day.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
You know.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
It's really interesting, you know, because I mentioned that when
I you know that you're willing to say that you
have a mass. And I'm gonna tell you a personal
story about me is that you know. In twenty fifteen,
I was diagnosed with cancer. And you know, I always
tell people, I don't care who you are. Once they
say cancer, it's just a it's just your mind just
(06:09):
slows down and goes, okay, did they say what I
think they said? And your life flashed before your eyes
and and and and I found it very difficult to
even let anybody know out of fear that I would
lose job opportunities.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
People would treat me differently. And it took me.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
You know, I didn't even tell my family immediately, you know.
They I came home to go, I said, all right,
just a visit, just you know, it's all right, everything's
good and uh and and so unfortunately I had thy
our cancer. They went in, did the surgery and came
back said, you know, I do I take annual check
ups because there's no such thing as a cure for
cancer to speak and now where this little bracelet right here.
(06:49):
So when people asked me, uh, well that looks nice,
I would tell my story and that's what it can
tell about my cancer story. And I reasonedly tell them
about my cancer story because I think there's the perception
that when people have cancer, have an illness like that,
they supposed to look a certain way, act a certain way.
They supposed to be limited on their dreams and limited
on their ability to achieve success. And so when I
(07:12):
saw that, I wanted to share you my story because
I feel that that's why you know, I wear this
because I want I don't want to just like overtly
just talk about it. But if you say something nice
about me, and it's and this, this the story gonna
come more. It's gonna come and so and it's gonna
come with with with with pride, It's gonna come with
(07:33):
a happiness, It's gonna come with goals tied to it.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
It's gonna come with U. I'm talking about my future.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I'm gonna be talking about how I'm going to continue
to change the world. And when I saw that, I went, wow,
she's a member of my club.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Well I am I am proudly so. But you know,
I I the book was the first time people heard.
Even a lot of people in my family never knew,
So I guess I kept it a secret for a
really long time and then decided to tell the world.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
But it was very cathartic, it was very freeing.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
But I also believe that, you know, what I just
heard from everything you said is that people sort of
have to earn that that.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Not everybody gets to have all of your story.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
But I also feel like you tell them when it's time,
and I forget I have MSS sometimes to be honest
with you, I mean, I take really really good care
of myself.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Like I said earlier, I prioritize my health.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
But you know, with I've asked a lot of people
in vision, I did envision people in wheelchairs or you know,
and every MS shows up in different ways for different people,
and so you know, I thought that it was a
really good thing for me to actually talk about it
in my book because I wanted people to know that
(08:53):
it does come in different forms. That you know, it's
not like somebody's writing you you know, what death sentence
or something right that you're all of a sudden a
victim to this thing.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Some people are deeply affected. Others, you know, sort.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Of have have sort of the recurrence of this disease
shows up in different ways, right, and so there relapses
and it's different rights. And I chose to say it
and tell it when I did because I thought people
needed to hear it and just see sort of the
(09:27):
light and the hope and the promise that this doesn't
mean there's an end or that you can't envision a
completely healthy and happy life for yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
You know, I say that when I when I speak
about when I'm looking at you, you're an attractive person,
you know, articular person. You're a successful person. And I'm
not saying I lived this life of acknowledging it I
have cancer, but I just think people need to know. Yeah,
I just think people need to understand that don't let grief,
(10:01):
don't let sadness dominate your dreams. And so, like I said,
I'm not going to stay on this, but I commend you.
I'm proud of you because the fact that you know
to admit it, because in some ways people will see
that as a flaw, people to see that as something
that you should keep to yourself. Don't let everybody know
people feel sorry for you. I don't think nobody feels
(10:23):
sorry for me, Moore.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I realized.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
They'll have time for me because I know I'm on
that train and I'm over there motivating people. I'm keeping
people of breast and more important that bring fantastic people
like you into my life and tell the world that,
guess what, it's all good.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
But people do feel sorry for your People feel like
you're a victim month. But people also know how hard
I work and that I'm relentless. Nothing stops me, so
to see that actually is a part of the story, right,
that nothing holds you back.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
So yeah, I was.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
I'm it was maybe one of the best things And
I know that sounds really cliche, but it was one
of the best things that happened to me because it
made me actually.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Prioritize my health more. But other than that, i'm i'm.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
I feel empowered to make decisions because of it, and
I feel really proud actually that I can live a
healthy life and do all that I do, and I'm
grateful for that. But it's a different vision to your
point that people can see.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Absolutely speaking the more to her pool, she's the author
of the book Bring Yourself, How to harness the power
connection to negotiate fearlessly.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Before we get into the book Liberty.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
When you say Diversity and Inclusion Certificate from Cornell University,
you know the George Floyd situation. You know that that
diversity and inclusion has always been around, but then it
came to the forefront of company, the HBCUs trying to
make sure he had diversity.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Diversity hit Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Hollywood made some fantasy series House of the House of
the Dragon and a lot of the rings, and people
got mad, these will be white lag, they will be
whitely Hispanic.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Oh my god, this diversity is killing us.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
But you at the forefront talking to me when you
said diversity and inclusion, what does that mean?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
And why do you need is anything?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Recognize that it's an expert, because that's what I'm assuming
the certificate is.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
So part of the reason why I wanted to do
it is because it was the pandemic and I thought,
you know, so much of a part of my career
had been in diversity and inclusion, and when I started
it was really from a communications perspective. The work that
I was doing in public health, and you know, the
majority or almost all of the work that I was
(12:40):
doing was focused in black communities, with people of color
communities I worked with early on while I was still
in college actually a sickle cell and then HIV eights,
and I lived in Oakland.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
California, and did the majority.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Of my work very again very early in my career,
and so East and West Oakland. And so when I
hear diversity and inclusion, it was the lack thereof lack
of access to and that was sort of That's really
all that I wanted to do was create equality, equality
(13:19):
to access. I thought, in a country that's this wealthy
and has this many opportunities, that people should not be
left out of something like healthcare, which is a human right.
So that was I don't want to date myself here,
but that was, let me just say, a long, long
time ago.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
In the nineties.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Stay with us.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
More money Making Conversation mastic Lass coming up next. Welcome
back to Money Making Conversation mastic Class, hosted by me
Rashaan McDonald. Money Making Conversation mastic Class continues online and
Moneymaking Conversations dot com and follow Money Making Conversations master
(14:02):
Class on Facebook, x and Instagram.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Okay, if you dated yourself. They say, Okay, really you're lying.
You look too good.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Okay, so.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Stop all that conversation, Bory, stop all that. The reality
is is that you are unique talent. And so even
though you say you're introvert and your book, you know
impact me. Bring yourself how to harness the power of connection,
negotiate fiercely. You know, when I was off air, I
told you you had me at know your value.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
You had me there.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
And because so many people don't know their value, but
they complained, They complain about their job, they complain about
their and my whole thing, I always take it a
little bit further. I always said that the value in
your relationship, your value and your kids. So many people
just kind of like when they're starting negotiating their life,
they kind of like make it all about money.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
They all about that job.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
But I love you, said you all the time, and
so you were just hitting you would like home.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Run, home run, tikbok, home run, tikbok, tickbok.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
So let's start with know your value and we go
talk in journal. Because I want people to buy this
book because it's such a I would say, a refresher course
for me because I learned some other things in it
that I didn't know that I think would make me
a better person, and like, not just a person employer,
but this is a better person in general, because I
think that education is very key and knowledge that you
(15:29):
don't know is even more important.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
But first, let's talk about why you wrote this book.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
I wrote this book because of number ways, a number
of things. I think there's a lot of myths out
there about negotiations. Right, people think of negotiations as being
they associated with conflict. They've had really bad experiences, divorces,
bad breakups, you know, bad business deals, and so what
they associate with negotiations are all those the pain and
(15:57):
the scars, you know, And therefore they're either afraid of it,
they have anxiety around it, they don't think they're good
at it. But the truth is, it's just such a
small slither of what I think negotiations really is, which
is I always say it's like the soundtrack of our lives.
We do it all the time, from the moment we
get up in the morning to a moment we go
to sleep at night. Right, we're negotiating everything with ourselves,
(16:18):
with our pets, with our spouses.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
You know at work, right, So the minute.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Actually what's magical is that the minute I share that
with people and ask them to think about negotiations reimagine it,
they almost immediately shall feel more comfortable and more empowered
because they realize that if this is something I do
every day and all day, I can't be bad at it.
Maybe there are things that I don't like and those
(16:46):
situations that I don't feel comfortable, but this is a
part of what my every day is. And so most
people are actually much better negotiations that they give their
selves credit for. Right, So that was one thing I
wanted to communicate make it more accessible to people. The
second is that, again there's a lot of myths about
what a good negotiator looks like, Right, somebody who's aggressive
(17:06):
and in your face and and so the.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
More open to conflict in a lot of voice, or
they're actually people who conflict.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
But that's not true either, right, if you look at
sort of historical data and the people that we've seen,
you know from from real aggressive types, whether it's in politics,
whether it's in movies, to.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Whatever it is.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
And then all the way too, I would say somebody
like a Nelson Mandela can you have a better negotiator, right,
and so he led with empathy and curiosity and like
a true gentleman. And so when you see those those
vast differences, what it tells us is that and everything
in between, that anybody can be.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
A good negotiator.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
Right, There's no one kind of great negotiator. The truth
is that you just really have to be authentic to
who you are and honor your values, honor honor the
decisions that you make have to reflect the things that
are most important to you, because if you negotiate those
things away, then you have nothing.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
And so that's the crux of it.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
I wanted to make this an opportunity for people to
think about this differently because it's so important. And then
there are so many things.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
That come out of that.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Right that I think is most important is not knowing
strategy necessarily. What I think is most important, and you know,
you and I talked about this is at the end
of the day, you have to know your value. If
you don't understand your worth, you will never be a
good negotiator.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
And that's sort of the God's honest truth.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
It's that black and white, because if you understand your worth, right,
if you quiet that like inner critic. Right, the way
we talk to ourselves and the self punishment almost if
you change that and you understand your worth and your value,
then the kinds of goals that you set for yourself
are so much bigger.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Right.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
They're aspirational, they're limitless. Don't live a life of scarcity.
You look to abundance, right, and so your goals are bigger.
And then when your goals are bigger, then you're asking
for more, right because you want more, You feel like
you deserve more.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
And so when you ask for more, then research and
here's the academic part of it.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
The research tells us that the people who think that
way and think as prasually have this sort of mindset
of abundance, they actually do better in negotiations than the
people that don't. So it's directly correlated to how you
perceive yourself and what value you give yourself.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Right, the way you talk to yourself is so important.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
You know one thing when I looked at the title,
the word was, I stayed on bringing yourself in the
era of authenticity or being organic. The reality of what
you're saying just in those two words, it's about you.
How do you your perception in yourself, how you present yourself,
and how you negotiate the opportunity. And I would tell
(19:58):
my fans, you know, the word negotiate is such an
everyday part of life. When you're getting up in the morning,
sometimes you want to negotiate a few more minutes when
you're looking at if you've got a snooze button, that's
negotiating a few more moneys in the bed. If you're
a parent, you're always negotiating with your kids.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
That's what parenting is. Can you do this? Can you
do this?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
When you take the trash out? And when they don't
take the trash out, how you react to that.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
That's the negotiation. And so it's just my whole.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Goal was just to take a word that sometimes people
have just pushed it way over here and say that's
for that thought process. I thought you just normalized it,
and I just wanted to crystallize it with some more tone.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Is to say, you wake up negotiating.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
We negotiated restaurants, You negotiate service, You negotiate your time.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Standing in line and restaurant.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Sometimes restaurants at forty five minutes fifteen minute work, you
negotiate right there do I feel like standing in line
that long?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
And so with that being said, bring Yourself was important
to me.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
And the harness and the power is like you said,
the ability to look book to me was transformat into
the sense to say step up.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
It was like stepping up and if you.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Step up, being you because we always hear people always
talk about you know that that person's a that person
can talk, or that person is manipulative. That person you know,
he won't take no for an answer. That's not a flaw,
that's not a negative. That's just a that's a person
who understands their value. They understand that I want I
(21:27):
want to get this and it means something important to me.
Did that My takeaway from the book was that the
right toneage.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
I mean it's inherently where you ended right that that
when you value yourself again, that's that's the bottom line,
that's everything right. And the reason why I sort of
the title is bringing Yourself is because I feel like
we live in a world that expects us to be
something different all the time, that we have to subscribe
(21:56):
to what society wants us to be right and then
the minute so that challenges what those beliefs are, Then
we're criticized, then we're fired, then we're whatever it is.
And so I just think that there's so much science
and research out there that says, actually, that's not what
you have to do. You don't have to try to
(22:17):
be something that you're not. You don't have to pretend
to be something that doesn't feel comfortable. What you have
to do is get out of your own way, right
and deal with the things that the scar again, the pain, right,
the grief that we hold in our hearts, right, the
terrible experiences that you've had. You got to clean that up, right.
(22:39):
You got to do some emotional hygiene and work on that.
And once you do that, and you understand that your
scars and you're hurt and the pain and maybe some
failures don't mean you're a lesser person. In fact, maybe
you're even a better person because you've persevered and you've
gotten through those things. So if you change that narrative,
(22:59):
then everything changes, starting from the outcomes that you get right,
the things that you seek in life will be more positive,
will be more aspirational.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
And that's sort of the blending of the I'm not.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
A real like the real academic academic person I've done
a lot of researcher around negotiations, but where I really
enjoy it is when I can link sort of practice
with the academic research, because I don't want to have
people think, oh, she's just telling us that that's she'd
(23:32):
be nice.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
No, this is supported.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
There is data that says if you feel this way
about yourself, then you will get better things in life.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
And that's just the way it is.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
It's beautiful speaking to more to Harry Poor.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Her mission is to bring the power respect, kindness, and
empathy to all, especially to youth, so they are empowered
to make their better decision or make better decision life
for lasting wins.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
What is a win?
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Mari.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
It's funny. I never use win or lose in my classes. Ever.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
I never use those words because I think that it
needs so many different things to different.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
People, especially in sports, and when you lose athletics, it
definitely means something.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
You have an athletic association.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Yeah, but it's it's like a you know, it's a
because in athletics it's a lot more sort of black
and white, right right, And the matters of the heart
and relationships and negotiations.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
The only thing that actually determines.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
I think what a quote unquote when is is how
you feel.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
About it when it's all done right? Can are you?
Can you look in the mirror and say I'm happy
with myself? Can you?
Speaker 4 (24:41):
And for me, what's most important is that not only
have I done well, but the person sitting across the
table from me it feels good too, because I'm an
entrepreneur at heart, right, So I don't want to do
business with you, just this one time, right, and get
all that I can get, and then you walk away
feeling like you've I've taken advantage of you. It's really
important to me that this it was like a partnership
because then I feel like that's going to be business
(25:02):
for life, right, that's business and perpetuity.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
So for me, that's a win. For other people it
might be no, no, no, I don't really.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Care what the other person gets. I want to get
all that I can get, right. So it's not to
be judgmental. It's to say, have clarity around what those
things mean to you, and and don't always think that
more is better. Sometimes enough is perfect.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Well, bring yourself.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I'm gonna give you a compliment more you know, I'm
sure you get a lot of compliments, you got a
lot of awards.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
I could talk to you forever. You just you.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
It's something unique about your tone. It's something I don't
I don't fear any conversation that would have with you.
That's a gift I have to assume because I don't
say that. I interview a lot of people that have talk
to a lot of people. Somebody want to just in
those interviews at five minutes instead of trying to get
them to twenty five.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
But the one.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Quality that I see in you, that's a that's an honesty.
And I think when I when I when I was
reading through the book, I been interviewing the different students
and getting their stories and laying it in the book.
That how you've been recognized as a teacher, uh for
your excellence being able to convey and thought and share
(26:14):
and be able because when you teach, you have to
accept criticism because we are all perfect teachers. And honestly,
I'm talking about that I think is as a ring
of truth when I say it out loud, Where does
that come from?
Speaker 4 (26:31):
I think I've lived the way I've been raised, and
my life has been sort of in judgment to be
honest with you. And so just that notion of judging
people is one that I just can't do because I've
been on the receiving end of it. And so you know,
(26:53):
my classes particularly are are a really safe environment. My
students their hearts and you know, you can find us
crying at any given class. And I say us because
I'm shedding tears too.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
But it's the.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
Notion that you can be exactly who you are, and
it actually doesn't matter if people judge you. The most
important thing is freeing yourself of your own personal judgment.
And so I think a lot of what you get,
what hopefully people get, is just that is the acceptance
(27:29):
I accept people for exactly who they are. I think
we don't do that enough. I think kindness is is
not as sort of prevailing in our relationships and interactions
daily as it should be. I think at the end
of the day, respect and kindness will get you further
than anything else.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
And I just I want to convey that. I'm also
you know, I pick up on people's spirit.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
I walk into a classroom, I know what my students
don't feel, right know, if if they're sad. I know
that's my job. But I'm plugged into it and I
consider that a gift, but it's a it's a I
don't I don't want to judgejudg just want to accept
and I hope that people do that for me as well.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Wow, I'm not judging.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I'm accepting, accepting the we're having a conversation, a conversation.
So if one day you see this DApp or African
American man.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Just sitting in your class, to go, who is that guy?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
He's not one one, It's gonna be me Rashon McDonald's
see it.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
If you for real, well on this show, she definitely
is for real.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Bring yourself how to harness the power of connection to
negotiate fears of you're special and I want to you know,
like I said, you were brought to me out of
the radar somebody. I said, Rashaan, you got to speak
to her. She's unique, she's uh, she's changing the world.
And I'm gonna tell you I'm a fan.
Speaker 5 (28:51):
This has been another addition of money making Conversations Masterclass
hosted by me Rashawn McDonald. Thank you too, I guess
on the show today and thank you our listening audience. Now,
if you want to listen to any episode. I want
to register to be a guest on my show, visit
moneymakingconversations dot com. Our social media handle is money Making Conversations.
(29:15):
Join us next week and remember to always leave with
your gifts. Keep winning.
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
I am Rashan McDonald, a host the weekly Money Making
Conversation Masterclass show. The interviews and information that this show
provides are for everyone. It's time to stop reading other
people's success stories and start living your own. If you
want to be a guest on my show, please visit
our website, Moneymaking Conversations dot com and click the be
a Guest button priss submit and information will come directly
(00:23):
to me.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Now, let's get this show start. My guest is mariy
to Harry Poor.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Maury earned her BA from Bernard College of Columbia univer
of Columbia University, her MBA nother degree do I just
stopped the BA from Warden School of the University of Pennsylvania,
and a Diversity and Inclusion Certificate from Cornell University. She's
a globally recognized negotiation expert and the award winning faculty
member of the Warden School, a highly sought after speaker,
(00:50):
and the author of Bring Yourself, How to Harness the
Power of Connection to Negotiate Fearlessly. With more than twenty
years of experience in negotiation, adversity and inclusion sports business,
Mary's impressive roster of clients includes fortune one hundred companies,
major sports leagues, and leading charitable institutions and government agencies.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Additionally, Maury has ms and.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
Sees it as a gift because in order to ward
off symptoms, she makes sure she lives a healthy lifestyle
with a proper work life balance, something I don't do
at all. Please welcome to money making Conversation, Masks, because
that somebody who will teach me some things.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Maury to Harry Pool, Hi.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Do Mari, I am doing really well. Thank you for
having me.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
I think he did some false advertising there, though, my
friend I did. I said nothing about work life balance,
because if that's what the interview is going to be,
your listeners are going to be sociald Well.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
You know you know what I do. I'm more. I'm
a guy.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I do my research, I read, I go to websites,
I double check, I backcheck. I do what you see
the word work life balance, you know some were proper, proper.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
It's hard because balance is hard. I don't know if
balance really exists. I think there are things that are
important at one time and other things that are important
some other time, and that's what balances.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
So I will tell you this. I'm a person that
I've gotten on that wheel, you know.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I remember I was early when I was managing Steve Harvey,
like in two thousand and two thousand and five. I
was afraid to get off that wheel. So I had
no balance. I was afraid to go on vacation. And
I don't know why I was afraid to go on
vacation at all, It was just a fear.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I think that fear pushed me not to have that balance.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
And so when we talk about work life balance or
some type of balance in general, that's part of what
you teach as far as the negotiation has to be
a part.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Of your personal life. Correct.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
Well, here's the thing, and I think this will you
when I say this, it will bring true to you
because I love what I do, I really do, and
I think that when you really enjoy what you do,
work doesn't really feel like work. And I travel, you know,
God knows, we're back at it again, but the majority
of my days, and you know, as I get older,
(03:05):
the travel.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
May be wearing me out a little bit, but I.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Never feel like my soul never feels exhausted, right, And
so I feel like that feeds me and that brings
me some balance. But there are things that I prioritize
at different times, like if I don't feel well, then
that that takes a priority, or my working out that
takes a priority.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
But you know, it's a constant. Life is.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Life is different all the time, right, So there's give
and take, and I think we create our own boundaries
and we honor those boundaries, and I truly believe that's
how balance is created. That's how balance is created in relationships.
Somebody needs something more at one time, others need something
else at another time. We make concessions, right, We're negotiating
with ourselves all the time. But I think you have
to honor yourself, whatever that is. And I think that
(03:51):
that's what balance means to me.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
That you can't really know right when I go to you,
you're not negotiables, you know what I.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Mean absolutely When I go through your bio, just CASI
academic success, academic success, and you know you have a
lot of worlds that athleticism. You know, have a musical genius,
you know you have you know when I when I
look at you, what what what is your gift? Because
I talk about gifts, I talk about you know, talents.
(04:18):
You know, before we get into what you're doing now,
When did you realize that this is where I can
be a this is where I can really hone my
best level of blessings for my life.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I think it's become really clear to me. I think,
you know, we talked about finding your purpose. I think
I'm most grateful for the opportunity to teach. It's where
I feel most authentically myself. I like the opportunity to
affect people, impact their lives, give them, you know, make
(04:53):
them feel more empowered. And I grew up not knowing this, right,
I never thought i'd teach. I never public speaking was
not my thing. It's scared really well, absolutely, I'm an introvert,
though most people don't believe that, but standing in front
of people, oh my god, that scared me.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
So my parents want me to be a doctor. Actually correction,
my dad did.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
So.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I went through college as pre med.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Then what you know, became an entrepreneur, went to business school,
and when I was graduating Wharton, one of my professors
actually thought this is what I could do well and
I thought he was crazy. And that was eighteen years
ago or sean. So you fall upon these things sometimes
and then you realize it's exactly where you were meant
(05:41):
to be. And is it a gift? It is, it's
a blessing every day.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
You know.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
It's really interesting, you know, because I mentioned that when
I you know that you're willing to say that you
have a mass. And I'm gonna tell you a personal
story about me is that you know. In twenty fifteen,
I was diagnosed with cancer. And you know, I always
tell people, I don't care who you are. Once they
say cancer, it's just a it's just your mind just
(06:09):
slows down and goes, okay, did they say what I
think they said? And your life flashed before your eyes
and and and and I found it very difficult to
even let anybody know out of fear that I would
lose job opportunities.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
People would treat me differently. And it took me.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
You know, I didn't even tell my family immediately, you know.
They I came home to go, I said, all right,
just a visit, just you know, it's all right, everything's
good and uh and and so unfortunately I had thy
our cancer. They went in, did the surgery and came
back said, you know, I do I take annual check
ups because there's no such thing as a cure for
cancer to speak and now where this little bracelet right here.
(06:49):
So when people asked me, uh, well that looks nice,
I would tell my story and that's what it can
tell about my cancer story. And I reasonedly tell them
about my cancer story because I think there's the perception
that when people have cancer, have an illness like that,
they supposed to look a certain way, act a certain way.
They supposed to be limited on their dreams and limited
on their ability to achieve success. And so when I
(07:12):
saw that, I wanted to share you my story because
I feel that that's why you know, I wear this
because I want I don't want to just like overtly
just talk about it. But if you say something nice
about me, and it's and this, this the story gonna
come more. It's gonna come and so and it's gonna
come with with with with pride, It's gonna come with
(07:33):
a happiness, It's gonna come with goals tied to it.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
It's gonna come with U. I'm talking about my future.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I'm gonna be talking about how I'm going to continue
to change the world. And when I saw that, I went, wow,
she's a member of my club.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Well I am I am proudly so. But you know,
I I the book was the first time people heard.
Even a lot of people in my family never knew,
So I guess I kept it a secret for a
really long time and then decided to tell the world.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
But it was very cathartic, it was very freeing.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
But I also believe that, you know, what I just
heard from everything you said is that people sort of
have to earn that that.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Not everybody gets to have all of your story.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
But I also feel like you tell them when it's time,
and I forget I have MSS sometimes to be honest
with you, I mean, I take really really good care
of myself.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Like I said earlier, I prioritize my health.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
But you know, with I've asked a lot of people
in vision, I did envision people in wheelchairs or you know,
and every MS shows up in different ways for different people,
and so you know, I thought that it was a
really good thing for me to actually talk about it
in my book because I wanted people to know that
(08:53):
it does come in different forms. That you know, it's
not like somebody's writing you you know, what death sentence
or something right that you're all of a sudden a
victim to this thing.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Some people are deeply affected. Others, you know, sort.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Of have have sort of the recurrence of this disease
shows up in different ways, right, and so there relapses
and it's different rights. And I chose to say it
and tell it when I did because I thought people
needed to hear it and just see sort of the
(09:27):
light and the hope and the promise that this doesn't
mean there's an end or that you can't envision a
completely healthy and happy life for yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
You know, I say that when I when I speak
about when I'm looking at you, you're an attractive person,
you know, articular person. You're a successful person. And I'm
not saying I lived this life of acknowledging it I
have cancer, but I just think people need to know. Yeah,
I just think people need to understand that don't let grief,
(10:01):
don't let sadness dominate your dreams. And so, like I said,
I'm not going to stay on this, but I commend you.
I'm proud of you because the fact that you know
to admit it, because in some ways people will see
that as a flaw, people to see that as something
that you should keep to yourself. Don't let everybody know
people feel sorry for you. I don't think nobody feels
(10:23):
sorry for me, Moore.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I realized.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
They'll have time for me because I know I'm on
that train and I'm over there motivating people. I'm keeping
people of breast and more important that bring fantastic people
like you into my life and tell the world that,
guess what, it's all good.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
But people do feel sorry for your People feel like
you're a victim month. But people also know how hard
I work and that I'm relentless. Nothing stops me, so
to see that actually is a part of the story, right,
that nothing holds you back.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
So yeah, I was.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
I'm it was maybe one of the best things And
I know that sounds really cliche, but it was one
of the best things that happened to me because it
made me actually.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Prioritize my health more. But other than that, i'm i'm.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
I feel empowered to make decisions because of it, and
I feel really proud actually that I can live a
healthy life and do all that I do, and I'm
grateful for that. But it's a different vision to your
point that people can see.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Absolutely speaking the more to her pool, she's the author
of the book Bring Yourself, How to harness the power
connection to negotiate fearlessly.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Before we get into the book Liberty.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
When you say Diversity and Inclusion Certificate from Cornell University,
you know the George Floyd situation. You know that that
diversity and inclusion has always been around, but then it
came to the forefront of company, the HBCUs trying to
make sure he had diversity.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Diversity hit Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Hollywood made some fantasy series House of the House of
the Dragon and a lot of the rings, and people
got mad, these will be white lag, they will be
whitely Hispanic.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Oh my god, this diversity is killing us.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
But you at the forefront talking to me when you
said diversity and inclusion, what does that mean?
Speaker 1 (12:12):
And why do you need is anything?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Recognize that it's an expert, because that's what I'm assuming
the certificate is.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
So part of the reason why I wanted to do
it is because it was the pandemic and I thought,
you know, so much of a part of my career
had been in diversity and inclusion, and when I started
it was really from a communications perspective. The work that
I was doing in public health, and you know, the
majority or almost all of the work that I was
(12:40):
doing was focused in black communities, with people of color
communities I worked with early on while I was still
in college actually a sickle cell and then HIV eights,
and I lived in Oakland.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
California, and did the majority.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Of my work very again very early in my career,
and so East and West Oakland. And so when I
hear diversity and inclusion, it was the lack thereof lack
of access to and that was sort of That's really
all that I wanted to do was create equality, equality
(13:19):
to access. I thought, in a country that's this wealthy
and has this many opportunities, that people should not be
left out of something like healthcare, which is a human right.
So that was I don't want to date myself here,
but that was, let me just say, a long, long
time ago.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
In the nineties.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Stay with us.
Speaker 5 (13:38):
More money Making Conversation mastic Lass coming up next. Welcome
back to Money Making Conversation mastic Class, hosted by me
Rashaan McDonald. Money Making Conversation mastic Class continues online and
Moneymaking Conversations dot com and follow Money Making Conversations master
(14:02):
Class on Facebook, x and Instagram.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Okay, if you dated yourself. They say, Okay, really you're lying.
You look too good.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Okay, so.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Stop all that conversation, Bory, stop all that. The reality
is is that you are unique talent. And so even
though you say you're introvert and your book, you know
impact me. Bring yourself how to harness the power of connection,
negotiate fiercely. You know, when I was off air, I
told you you had me at know your value.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
You had me there.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
And because so many people don't know their value, but
they complained, They complain about their job, they complain about
their and my whole thing, I always take it a
little bit further. I always said that the value in
your relationship, your value and your kids. So many people
just kind of like when they're starting negotiating their life,
they kind of like make it all about money.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
They all about that job.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
But I love you, said you all the time, and
so you were just hitting you would like home.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Run, home run, tikbok, home run, tikbok, tickbok.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
So let's start with know your value and we go
talk in journal. Because I want people to buy this
book because it's such a I would say, a refresher course
for me because I learned some other things in it
that I didn't know that I think would make me
a better person, and like, not just a person employer,
but this is a better person in general, because I
think that education is very key and knowledge that you
(15:29):
don't know is even more important.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
But first, let's talk about why you wrote this book.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
I wrote this book because of number ways, a number
of things. I think there's a lot of myths out
there about negotiations. Right, people think of negotiations as being
they associated with conflict. They've had really bad experiences, divorces,
bad breakups, you know, bad business deals, and so what
they associate with negotiations are all those the pain and
(15:57):
the scars, you know, And therefore they're either afraid of it,
they have anxiety around it, they don't think they're good
at it. But the truth is, it's just such a
small slither of what I think negotiations really is, which
is I always say it's like the soundtrack of our lives.
We do it all the time, from the moment we
get up in the morning to a moment we go
to sleep at night. Right, we're negotiating everything with ourselves,
(16:18):
with our pets, with our spouses.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
You know at work, right, So the minute.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Actually what's magical is that the minute I share that
with people and ask them to think about negotiations reimagine it,
they almost immediately shall feel more comfortable and more empowered
because they realize that if this is something I do
every day and all day, I can't be bad at it.
Maybe there are things that I don't like and those
(16:46):
situations that I don't feel comfortable, but this is a
part of what my every day is. And so most
people are actually much better negotiations that they give their
selves credit for. Right, So that was one thing I
wanted to communicate make it more accessible to people. The
second is that, again there's a lot of myths about
what a good negotiator looks like, Right, somebody who's aggressive
(17:06):
and in your face and and so the.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
More open to conflict in a lot of voice, or
they're actually people who conflict.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
But that's not true either, right, if you look at
sort of historical data and the people that we've seen,
you know from from real aggressive types, whether it's in politics,
whether it's in movies, to.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Whatever it is.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
And then all the way too, I would say somebody
like a Nelson Mandela can you have a better negotiator, right,
and so he led with empathy and curiosity and like
a true gentleman. And so when you see those those
vast differences, what it tells us is that and everything
in between, that anybody can be.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
A good negotiator.
Speaker 4 (17:50):
Right, There's no one kind of great negotiator. The truth
is that you just really have to be authentic to
who you are and honor your values, honor honor the
decisions that you make have to reflect the things that
are most important to you, because if you negotiate those
things away, then you have nothing.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
And so that's the crux of it.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
I wanted to make this an opportunity for people to
think about this differently because it's so important. And then
there are so many things.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
That come out of that.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Right that I think is most important is not knowing
strategy necessarily. What I think is most important, and you know,
you and I talked about this is at the end
of the day, you have to know your value. If
you don't understand your worth, you will never be a
good negotiator.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
And that's sort of the God's honest truth.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
It's that black and white, because if you understand your worth, right,
if you quiet that like inner critic. Right, the way
we talk to ourselves and the self punishment almost if
you change that and you understand your worth and your value,
then the kinds of goals that you set for yourself
are so much bigger.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
Right.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
They're aspirational, they're limitless. Don't live a life of scarcity.
You look to abundance, right, and so your goals are bigger.
And then when your goals are bigger, then you're asking
for more, right because you want more, You feel like
you deserve more.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
And so when you ask for more, then research and
here's the academic part of it.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
The research tells us that the people who think that
way and think as prasually have this sort of mindset
of abundance, they actually do better in negotiations than the
people that don't. So it's directly correlated to how you
perceive yourself and what value you give yourself.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Right, the way you talk to yourself is so important.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
You know one thing when I looked at the title,
the word was, I stayed on bringing yourself in the
era of authenticity or being organic. The reality of what
you're saying just in those two words, it's about you.
How do you your perception in yourself, how you present yourself,
and how you negotiate the opportunity. And I would tell
(19:58):
my fans, you know, the word negotiate is such an
everyday part of life. When you're getting up in the morning,
sometimes you want to negotiate a few more minutes when
you're looking at if you've got a snooze button, that's
negotiating a few more moneys in the bed. If you're
a parent, you're always negotiating with your kids.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
That's what parenting is. Can you do this? Can you
do this?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
When you take the trash out? And when they don't
take the trash out, how you react to that.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
That's the negotiation. And so it's just my whole.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Goal was just to take a word that sometimes people
have just pushed it way over here and say that's
for that thought process. I thought you just normalized it,
and I just wanted to crystallize it with some more tone.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Is to say, you wake up negotiating.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
We negotiated restaurants, You negotiate service, You negotiate your time.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Standing in line and restaurant.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Sometimes restaurants at forty five minutes fifteen minute work, you
negotiate right there do I feel like standing in line
that long?
Speaker 1 (20:52):
And so with that being said, bring Yourself was important
to me.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
And the harness and the power is like you said,
the ability to look book to me was transformat into
the sense to say step up.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
It was like stepping up and if you.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Step up, being you because we always hear people always
talk about you know that that person's a that person
can talk, or that person is manipulative. That person you know,
he won't take no for an answer. That's not a flaw,
that's not a negative. That's just a that's a person
who understands their value. They understand that I want I
(21:27):
want to get this and it means something important to me.
Did that My takeaway from the book was that the
right toneage.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
I mean it's inherently where you ended right that that
when you value yourself again, that's that's the bottom line,
that's everything right. And the reason why I sort of
the title is bringing Yourself is because I feel like
we live in a world that expects us to be
something different all the time, that we have to subscribe
(21:56):
to what society wants us to be right and then
the minute so that challenges what those beliefs are, Then
we're criticized, then we're fired, then we're whatever it is.
And so I just think that there's so much science
and research out there that says, actually, that's not what
you have to do. You don't have to try to
(22:17):
be something that you're not. You don't have to pretend
to be something that doesn't feel comfortable. What you have
to do is get out of your own way, right
and deal with the things that the scar again, the pain, right,
the grief that we hold in our hearts, right, the
terrible experiences that you've had. You got to clean that up, right.
(22:39):
You got to do some emotional hygiene and work on that.
And once you do that, and you understand that your
scars and you're hurt and the pain and maybe some
failures don't mean you're a lesser person. In fact, maybe
you're even a better person because you've persevered and you've
gotten through those things. So if you change that narrative,
(22:59):
then everything changes, starting from the outcomes that you get right,
the things that you seek in life will be more positive,
will be more aspirational.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
And that's sort of the blending of the I'm not.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
A real like the real academic academic person I've done
a lot of researcher around negotiations, but where I really
enjoy it is when I can link sort of practice
with the academic research, because I don't want to have
people think, oh, she's just telling us that that's she'd
(23:32):
be nice.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
No, this is supported.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
There is data that says if you feel this way
about yourself, then you will get better things in life.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
And that's just the way it is.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
It's beautiful speaking to more to Harry Poor.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Her mission is to bring the power respect, kindness, and
empathy to all, especially to youth, so they are empowered
to make their better decision or make better decision life
for lasting wins.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
What is a win?
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Mari.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
It's funny. I never use win or lose in my classes. Ever.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
I never use those words because I think that it
needs so many different things to different.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
People, especially in sports, and when you lose athletics, it
definitely means something.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
You have an athletic association.
Speaker 4 (24:15):
Yeah, but it's it's like a you know, it's a
because in athletics it's a lot more sort of black
and white, right right, And the matters of the heart
and relationships and negotiations.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
The only thing that actually determines.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
I think what a quote unquote when is is how
you feel.
Speaker 3 (24:34):
About it when it's all done right? Can are you?
Can you look in the mirror and say I'm happy
with myself? Can you?
Speaker 4 (24:41):
And for me, what's most important is that not only
have I done well, but the person sitting across the
table from me it feels good too, because I'm an
entrepreneur at heart, right, So I don't want to do
business with you, just this one time, right, and get
all that I can get, and then you walk away
feeling like you've I've taken advantage of you. It's really
important to me that this it was like a partnership
because then I feel like that's going to be business
(25:02):
for life, right, that's business and perpetuity.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
So for me, that's a win. For other people it
might be no, no, no, I don't really.
Speaker 4 (25:10):
Care what the other person gets. I want to get
all that I can get, right. So it's not to
be judgmental. It's to say, have clarity around what those
things mean to you, and and don't always think that
more is better. Sometimes enough is perfect.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Well, bring yourself.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I'm gonna give you a compliment more you know, I'm
sure you get a lot of compliments, you got a
lot of awards.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
I could talk to you forever. You just you.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
It's something unique about your tone. It's something I don't
I don't fear any conversation that would have with you.
That's a gift I have to assume because I don't
say that. I interview a lot of people that have talk
to a lot of people. Somebody want to just in
those interviews at five minutes instead of trying to get
them to twenty five.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
But the one.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Quality that I see in you, that's a that's an honesty.
And I think when I when I when I was
reading through the book, I been interviewing the different students
and getting their stories and laying it in the book.
That how you've been recognized as a teacher, uh for
your excellence being able to convey and thought and share
(26:14):
and be able because when you teach, you have to
accept criticism because we are all perfect teachers. And honestly,
I'm talking about that I think is as a ring
of truth when I say it out loud, Where does
that come from?
Speaker 4 (26:31):
I think I've lived the way I've been raised, and
my life has been sort of in judgment to be
honest with you. And so just that notion of judging
people is one that I just can't do because I've
been on the receiving end of it. And so you know,
(26:53):
my classes particularly are are a really safe environment. My
students their hearts and you know, you can find us
crying at any given class. And I say us because
I'm shedding tears too.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
But it's the.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
Notion that you can be exactly who you are, and
it actually doesn't matter if people judge you. The most
important thing is freeing yourself of your own personal judgment.
And so I think a lot of what you get,
what hopefully people get, is just that is the acceptance
(27:29):
I accept people for exactly who they are. I think
we don't do that enough. I think kindness is is
not as sort of prevailing in our relationships and interactions
daily as it should be. I think at the end
of the day, respect and kindness will get you further
than anything else.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
And I just I want to convey that. I'm also
you know, I pick up on people's spirit.
Speaker 4 (27:57):
I walk into a classroom, I know what my students
don't feel, right know, if if they're sad. I know
that's my job. But I'm plugged into it and I
consider that a gift, but it's a it's a I
don't I don't want to judgejudg just want to accept
and I hope that people do that for me as well.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
Wow, I'm not judging.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I'm accepting, accepting the we're having a conversation, a conversation.
So if one day you see this DApp or African
American man.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Just sitting in your class, to go, who is that guy?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
He's not one one, It's gonna be me Rashon McDonald's
see it.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
If you for real, well on this show, she definitely
is for real.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Bring yourself how to harness the power of connection to
negotiate fears of you're special and I want to you know,
like I said, you were brought to me out of
the radar somebody. I said, Rashaan, you got to speak
to her. She's unique, she's uh, she's changing the world.
And I'm gonna tell you I'm a fan.
Speaker 5 (28:51):
This has been another addition of money making Conversations Masterclass
hosted by me Rashawn McDonald. Thank you too, I guess
on the show today and thank you our listening audience. Now,
if you want to listen to any episode. I want
to register to be a guest on my show, visit
moneymakingconversations dot com. Our social media handle is money Making Conversations.
(29:15):
Join us next week and remember to always leave with
your gifts. Keep winning.
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