October 31, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, My husband and I have a blended family, but my side has blended and his has not. His twelve year old child said she didn't feel comfortable in our home, and we understand it because I have two sons. For the past year, she's done activities with us, and we pick her up and take her back home. Most of the time, my husband does things with her by himself, and he doesn't ask me and my sons to join them. My husband said he has to go the extra mile to make his daughter feel included, and that's fine with me........................................................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Bugle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you, Thank you. Nephew. Subject he had dinner at
her house. Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband and I have
a blended family, but my side has blended and his
has not. His twelve year old child said she didn't
feel comfortable in our home, and we understand it because
I have two sons. For the past year, she's done
activities with us, and we pick her up and take
(00:47):
her back home. Most of the time, my husband does
things with her by himself, and he doesn't ask me
and my sons to join them. My husband said he
has to go the extra mile to make his daughter
feel included, and that's fine with me. I always assumed
when he said he was spending time with his daughter.
They were out doing things together, not at his ex
(01:09):
wife's house. I called him one day while he was
with his daughter, and she answered his phone. I could
hear him in the background saying to give him the phone.
He got the phone and quickly said he'd called me back,
and he hung up in my face. I called back
and it went straight to voicemail. I texted and asked
and asked if he was all right. He texted back
(01:30):
that he was fine. I called his daughter's phone to
see if everything was really okay, and she said she
couldn't talk to me because her daddy got mad when
she answered his phone. She assured me that everything was fine.
It's just that her dad didn't want me to know
he was eating dinner at their house. She told me
not to tell her dad that she talked to me,
and I told her that I couldn't promise her that
(01:52):
my husband was over there playing house with his ex
wife and his daughter. But he sweared it was swears
it was a one time thing and it will happen again.
If that's true, why couldn't he talk to me and
why did he tell his daughter not to talk to me?
Does he think it is proper co parenting or does
he take me for a fool? Uh? Yeah, he was
(02:16):
wrong for that, he was. I mean most dads do
like you guys were doing, picking the kids up from
their mom's house and then dropping them back off. But no,
not your husband. He's all inside at the dinner table
eating with them and everything wrong. Move dad. And if
everything is fine and he was just spending time with
his daughter, why didn't he answer his phone when you called.
(02:39):
He could have told you himself that everything was okay
on the phone. He panicked and made this way worse
than it had to be by his guilty behavior. Now
he's busted and is in trouble with you, and he
lives with you, not his ex wife. You're going to
be calling him even more now, asking him more questions.
When he takes his daughter out, you're gonna want to
(02:59):
go with them all of the above. I do want
to say this though. By his daughter talking to you
and explaining to you what was going on and everything,
that says the two of you have a pretty good relationship,
So please try to keep that going because it's not
her fault. Your husband knew better than to be over
there eating dinner he knew you wouldn't like it, didn't
(03:20):
he think you might call or something. I mean, there's
always that possibility.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
There's that.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So now he's got to fix it, and I hope
he does right by you and stop going over to
his exes to eat dinner.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Steve, Well, now you know, I kind of see both
sides of this. See he had dinner at her house.
That right there, I can't do. I'm not having dinner
at my exit house under no damn circumstance. I'd be
scared eat food because I think she kill me.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
This is not about nobody.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
I'm just saying, wow, I can't go none of my
ex house trying to house. Still think they trying to
kill me? You know, I mean, I mean, I mean,
you know, but you're better safe than sorry. It's it's
what you need to start operating under. Oh here's a deal.
Y'all got a blended family. But my side has blended
(04:22):
and his has not. See, I don't think you understand
what that means. See, his twelve year old child says,
she didn't feel comfortable in our home, and we understand
it because we have two sons. Okay, so now if
you understand that she don't feel comfortable because your boys
is giving her the side eye for a number of reasons.
(04:48):
So now this little girl just don't feel comfortable. For
the past year, she's done activities with us, we pick
her up and take her back home. Well, she don't
live there, so you pick her up and take her
back home.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
So he's co parenting with this woman. Most of the time.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
My husband does things with her by himself and doesn't
ask me and my son to join them. My husband
said he has to go to extra mile to make
his daughter feel included, and that's fine with me.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Okay, all this is good so far.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Always assumed that when he was going to spend time
with his daughter, they were all doing things together, not
at his.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Ex wife's house. Well, I would assume the same thing too.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I wouldn't assume that he'd be over his ex wife's
house because, like I said, I.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Can't go to mind.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Stop saying that.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I know, I know, I'm I'm not gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Finish your answer.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Please, If they did welcome me over there, I think
it would be to kill me.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
So why would I go?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Would you stop?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I'm just saying please.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I called him one day while he was at his
daughter with his daughter, and she answered his phone. I
can hear him in the background saying give him the phone.
He got the phone and quickly said he'd called me back,
and he hung up in my face. I called back
and it went straight to voicemail. I text asked for you,
all right. He texted me back, said he was fine.
So I called his daughter phone to see if everything
(06:15):
was really okay. Now, you ain't really call to see
if everything's really okay. You was doing your investigative duty.
And I called his daughter phone and see if everything's
really okay. She says she couldn't talk to me because
her daddy got mad with you.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Answers O, Hell, Yes, it's her phone.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Fall I love the daughter.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
She told it all dain's your phone.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Hello, Lauren. Hang on, Steve, we'll have parts Hello Hell
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's
Strawberry letter. Subject he had dinner at her house. We'll
get back into it right after this. You're listening hard
Morning show. All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's
Strawberry letter. The subject is he had dinner at her
(07:00):
her house.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
This man, he's got a daughter, that's twelve. He's remarried.
The woman he married has two boys. His daughter twelve.
She lives with his ex wife. When when she's time
for him to get visitations, she comes to the house. Now,
she then told everybody she don't really feel comfortable at
(07:24):
the house cause them two young boys who you ain't
telling me their age is going. Okay, what's that, I'll
see you so little girl now she uncomfortable. So now
they do spend some activities together, but he spends a
lot of time with her by herself, and he says
he's got to go to extra mile and make her
(07:44):
feel special. You said you understood that. So sometimes they
do stuff alone that don't include her and her sons.
You got to understand that too. I called him one
time while he was with his daughter, and she answered
the phone. I could hear him in the back saying
give me the phone. He got the phone and quickly
said that I call you back, and he hung up
in my face. I called it back and went straight
(08:06):
to voicemail. So I called his daughter's phone to see
if everything was really okay. That ain't why you call.
He was doing some investigation.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
She says she couldn't talk to me because her daddy
got mad.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
When she answered the phone, she assured me that everything
is fine. Everything okay, mama jay or whatever she called
or dissilted. It's just that her dad didn't want me
to know to eat and dinner at her house. And
I told her that I couldn't promise her that. And
(08:43):
my husband was over there playing house with his ex
wife and his daughter. But he swe as it was
a one time thing. It never happened again. If that's true,
why couldn't he talk to me? And why he tell
his daughter not talk to me? Does he think this
proper cold parenting? Or does he take me for a food? So,
now here's the problem we have, and this that I've
read the whole thing to you, here's a problem. The
(09:04):
man has a daughter that's uncomfortable at the house. She
has said this, so he spends some time alone. Now
the time alone, the wife is assuming they going somewhere
in the activity.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
But she called his phone.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
The little girl answered the phone and said, no, hold on,
get give me the phone pick upon Hello, babies, everything okay,
everything fine?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Click?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
So she called right back it go the voicemail. He
turned the phone off because he don't need this information out.
She called the little girl's phone and say, is everything okay? Yes,
mama Jay, everything is just fine. You don't have to
worry about it. So she said she couldn't talk to
(09:55):
me because her daddy got mad. She assured me everything
was fine. It's just her daddy didn't want me to know.
He was eating dinner at they house.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
She told everything.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Now, like Shirley said, you got a really cool relationship
with the girl. But then she is a girl. Now
what was she telling you this to make you feel reassured?
All what she'd do being.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
A little girl and going, I got some information for
you though she's just twelve. H twelve year olds is slick. Now.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
These kids nowadays, they know what trouble is. They watch
all the housewives shows. They know how to start stuff.
She told me not to tell her dad. She talked
to me and told her I couldn't. I told her
I couldn't promise that. See, that's women for you right there.
The little girl told you a secret and asked you
please don't tell my daddy that I talked to you.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I told her I.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Can't promise you nothing because I'm a girl too, and
damn it. Since we telling stuff, we gonna all be
telling stuff. See that's why. That's why, man, she should
see she should have said, okay, I'm not gonna tell
her and then just found a slick way to bring
it up to your husband. So, baby, when I called
(11:20):
you and you hung up, what were you? You didn't
even have to involve the little girl anymore. I can't
promise you I won't say nothing. Nah, Yes, you should have. See,
that's how you have trust with your kids. You got
to create trust. But if if they think they can
tell you something, you gonna run and tell it. How
many times you think she's gonna be honest with you?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Now? So?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
So?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
And and then, like Bishop Bronna said, you have to
be careful with a person who is playing a victim
of a circumstance they created themselves. So ain't no need
of your dad addy talking about?
Speaker 1 (12:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
What you what? You give her the phone for? What
you do that for? Dog?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Why you got this twelve year old involved in your mess?
You know your wife would not approve of you having
dinner over your ex's house, But you're gonna go over
there and then let your luga and then answer the
phone talking about I call you right back.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
You should have stepped outside and started your life. Where
y'all at? We a chunky cheese.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
And why are you outside? Because his noise is hell
in there? Let me talk to her.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
She playing with some friends.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, he messed that up for himself.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
He did. So. It was that the second half of
my letter.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Uh huh yes yes. Poster comments on today's Steve ran
out of Gas Damn Dog on Instagram and Facebook, and
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on a free iHeartRadio
app Free Never Sounded So good? Downloaded today. Coming up
at forty six minutes after the hour, it's Junior and
(13:13):
Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to Dave Harvey
Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Bugle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you, Thank you. Nephew. Subject he had dinner at
her house. Dear Stephen Shirley, My husband and I have
a blended family, but my side has blended and his
has not. His twelve year old child said she didn't
feel comfortable in our home, and we understand it because
I have two sons. For the past year, she's done
activities with us, and we pick her up and take
(00:47):
her back home. Most of the time, my husband does
things with her by himself, and he doesn't ask me
and my sons to join them. My husband said he
has to go the extra mile to make his daughter
feel included, and that's fine with me. I always assumed
when he said he was spending time with his daughter.
They were out doing things together, not at his ex
(01:09):
wife's house. I called him one day while he was
with his daughter, and she answered his phone. I could
hear him in the background saying to give him the phone.
He got the phone and quickly said he'd called me back,
and he hung up in my face. I called back
and it went straight to voicemail. I texted and asked
and asked if he was all right. He texted back
(01:30):
that he was fine. I called his daughter's phone to
see if everything was really okay, and she said she
couldn't talk to me because her daddy got mad when
she answered his phone. She assured me that everything was fine.
It's just that her dad didn't want me to know
he was eating dinner at their house. She told me
not to tell her dad that she talked to me,
and I told her that I couldn't promise her that
(01:52):
my husband was over there playing house with his ex
wife and his daughter. But he sweared it was swears
it was a one time thing and it will happen again.
If that's true, why couldn't he talk to me and
why did he tell his daughter not to talk to me?
Does he think it is proper co parenting or does
he take me for a fool? Uh? Yeah, he was
(02:16):
wrong for that, he was. I mean most dads do
like you guys were doing, picking the kids up from
their mom's house and then dropping them back off. But no,
not your husband. He's all inside at the dinner table
eating with them and everything wrong. Move dad. And if
everything is fine and he was just spending time with
his daughter, why didn't he answer his phone when you called.
(02:39):
He could have told you himself that everything was okay
on the phone. He panicked and made this way worse
than it had to be by his guilty behavior. Now
he's busted and is in trouble with you, and he
lives with you, not his ex wife. You're going to
be calling him even more now, asking him more questions.
When he takes his daughter out, you're gonna want to
(02:59):
go with them all of the above. I do want
to say this though. By his daughter talking to you
and explaining to you what was going on and everything,
that says the two of you have a pretty good relationship,
So please try to keep that going because it's not
her fault. Your husband knew better than to be over
there eating dinner he knew you wouldn't like it, didn't
(03:20):
he think you might call or something. I mean, there's
always that possibility.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
There's that.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So now he's got to fix it, and I hope
he does right by you and stop going over to
his exes to eat dinner.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Steve, Well, now you know, I kind of see both
sides of this. See he had dinner at her house.
That right there, I can't do. I'm not having dinner
at my exit house under no damn circumstance. I'd be
scared eat food because I think she kill me.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
This is not about nobody.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
I'm just saying, wow, I can't go none of my
ex house trying to house. Still think they trying to
kill me? You know, I mean, I mean, I mean,
you know, but you're better safe than sorry. It's it's
what you need to start operating under. Oh here's a deal.
Y'all got a blended family. But my side has blended
(04:22):
and his has not. See, I don't think you understand
what that means. See, his twelve year old child says,
she didn't feel comfortable in our home, and we understand
it because we have two sons. Okay, so now if
you understand that she don't feel comfortable because your boys
is giving her the side eye for a number of reasons.
(04:48):
So now this little girl just don't feel comfortable. For
the past year, she's done activities with us, we pick
her up and take her back home. Well, she don't
live there, so you pick her up and take her
back home.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
So he's co parenting with this woman. Most of the time.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
My husband does things with her by himself and doesn't
ask me and my son to join them. My husband
said he has to go to extra mile to make
his daughter feel included, and that's fine with me.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Okay, all this is good so far.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
Always assumed that when he was going to spend time
with his daughter, they were all doing things together, not
at his.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Ex wife's house. Well, I would assume the same thing too.
Speaker 3 (05:30):
I wouldn't assume that he'd be over his ex wife's
house because, like I said, I.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Can't go to mind.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Stop saying that.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
I know, I know, I'm I'm not gonna do that.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Finish your answer.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Please, If they did welcome me over there, I think
it would be to kill me.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
So why would I go?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Would you stop?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I'm just saying please.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
I called him one day while he was at his
daughter with his daughter, and she answered his phone. I
can hear him in the background saying give him the phone.
He got the phone and quickly said he'd called me back,
and he hung up in my face. I called back
and it went straight to voicemail. I text asked for you,
all right. He texted me back, said he was fine.
So I called his daughter phone to see if everything
(06:15):
was really okay. Now, you ain't really call to see
if everything's really okay. You was doing your investigative duty.
And I called his daughter phone and see if everything's
really okay. She says she couldn't talk to me because
her daddy got mad with you.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Answers O, Hell, Yes, it's her phone.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Fall I love the daughter.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
She told it all dain's your phone.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Hello, Lauren. Hang on, Steve, we'll have parts Hello Hell
coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's
Strawberry letter. Subject he had dinner at her house. We'll
get back into it right after this. You're listening hard
Morning show. All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's
Strawberry letter. The subject is he had dinner at her
(07:00):
her house.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
This man, he's got a daughter, that's twelve. He's remarried.
The woman he married has two boys. His daughter twelve.
She lives with his ex wife. When when she's time
for him to get visitations, she comes to the house. Now,
she then told everybody she don't really feel comfortable at
(07:24):
the house cause them two young boys who you ain't
telling me their age is going. Okay, what's that, I'll
see you so little girl now she uncomfortable. So now
they do spend some activities together, but he spends a
lot of time with her by herself, and he says
he's got to go to extra mile and make her
(07:44):
feel special. You said you understood that. So sometimes they
do stuff alone that don't include her and her sons.
You got to understand that too. I called him one
time while he was with his daughter, and she answered
the phone. I could hear him in the back saying
give me the phone. He got the phone and quickly
said that I call you back, and he hung up
in my face. I called it back and went straight
(08:06):
to voicemail. So I called his daughter's phone to see
if everything was really okay. That ain't why you call.
He was doing some investigation.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
She says she couldn't talk to me because her daddy
got mad.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
When she answered the phone, she assured me that everything
is fine. Everything okay, mama jay or whatever she called
or dissilted. It's just that her dad didn't want me
to know to eat and dinner at her house. And
I told her that I couldn't promise her that. And
(08:43):
my husband was over there playing house with his ex
wife and his daughter. But he swe as it was
a one time thing. It never happened again. If that's true,
why couldn't he talk to me? And why he tell
his daughter not talk to me? Does he think this
proper cold parenting? Or does he take me for a food? So,
now here's the problem we have, and this that I've
read the whole thing to you, here's a problem. The
(09:04):
man has a daughter that's uncomfortable at the house. She
has said this, so he spends some time alone. Now
the time alone, the wife is assuming they going somewhere
in the activity.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
But she called his phone.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
The little girl answered the phone and said, no, hold on,
get give me the phone pick upon Hello, babies, everything okay,
everything fine?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Click?
Speaker 3 (09:34):
So she called right back it go the voicemail. He
turned the phone off because he don't need this information out.
She called the little girl's phone and say, is everything okay? Yes,
mama Jay, everything is just fine. You don't have to
worry about it. So she said she couldn't talk to
(09:55):
me because her daddy got mad. She assured me everything
was fine. It's just her daddy didn't want me to know.
He was eating dinner at they house.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
She told everything.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Now, like Shirley said, you got a really cool relationship
with the girl. But then she is a girl. Now
what was she telling you this to make you feel reassured?
All what she'd do being.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
A little girl and going, I got some information for
you though she's just twelve. H twelve year olds is slick. Now.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
These kids nowadays, they know what trouble is. They watch
all the housewives shows. They know how to start stuff.
She told me not to tell her dad. She talked
to me and told her I couldn't. I told her
I couldn't promise that. See, that's women for you right there.
The little girl told you a secret and asked you
please don't tell my daddy that I talked to you.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I told her I.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Can't promise you nothing because I'm a girl too, and
damn it. Since we telling stuff, we gonna all be
telling stuff. See that's why. That's why, man, she should
see she should have said, okay, I'm not gonna tell
her and then just found a slick way to bring
it up to your husband. So, baby, when I called
(11:20):
you and you hung up, what were you? You didn't
even have to involve the little girl anymore. I can't
promise you I won't say nothing. Nah, Yes, you should have. See,
that's how you have trust with your kids. You got
to create trust. But if if they think they can
tell you something, you gonna run and tell it. How
many times you think she's gonna be honest with you?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Now? So?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
So?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:45):
And and then, like Bishop Bronna said, you have to
be careful with a person who is playing a victim
of a circumstance they created themselves. So ain't no need
of your dad addy talking about?
Speaker 1 (12:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
What you what? You give her the phone for? What
you do that for? Dog?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Why you got this twelve year old involved in your mess?
You know your wife would not approve of you having
dinner over your ex's house, But you're gonna go over
there and then let your luga and then answer the
phone talking about I call you right back.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
You should have stepped outside and started your life. Where
y'all at? We a chunky cheese.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
And why are you outside? Because his noise is hell
in there? Let me talk to her.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
She playing with some friends.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, he messed that up for himself.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
He did. So. It was that the second half of
my letter.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Uh huh yes yes. Poster comments on today's Steve ran
out of Gas Damn Dog on Instagram and Facebook, and
check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on a free iHeartRadio
app Free Never Sounded So good? Downloaded today. Coming up
at forty six minutes after the hour, it's Junior and
(13:13):
Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to Dave Harvey
Morning Show
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Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
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If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people.