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January 3, 2025 13 mins

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen.
If you need advice on relationships, on dating, works, sex, parenting,
and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve BARBFM
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now, and

(00:21):
you never know, it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
You never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We
got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Thank you, not for your subject. He has to step
away to take calls. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a thirty
six year old married woman and my husband is thirty three.
We've been married for almost eight years, and he has
told me that he regrets getting married so young. I
asked him if he needed a break from the marriage,
and he said no. He told me we could find

(00:51):
ways to make our marriage work. So we planned a
trip back to our hometown and it didn't work out
as planned. We went for Thanksgiving and there was a
big game in town, so we barely saw each other.
I was busy with my parents and he was out late.
Every night. He came into my parents' home late, and
I noticed on the third night that his cell phone

(01:12):
was off while he slept. I asked him about it
the next morning, and he said it must have died,
but it wasn't dead because I turned it on and
back off that same night. After we spent the time
in our hometown, his attitude changed. He started posting more
pictures on Instagram, and he was constantly on his phone,

(01:34):
scrolling through social media posts. He also started to get
phone calls late in the evening, and he would ignore them.
I would check the phone when he wasn't around, and
I could see that he'd always delete the incoming call log. Then,
over the holidays, a few calls came in and he
had to step away to take them. It happened when

(01:54):
we had company or we were out, so I couldn't
question him or cause a scene. On New Year's Eve,
we decided to stay in and have champagne at home.
He was distant and he played with his phone all night.
At the stroke of midnight, his phone rang and he
stepped outside to take the call. He told me he

(02:15):
was going to see the firewark. Should I have confronted
him at that moment and ruined the beginning of a
new year. What's my husband up to?

Speaker 2 (02:25):
All? Right? Sis?

Speaker 1 (02:26):
This is bad, this is really bad. He's really doing
too much with all of this. And yes, you should
have confronted him at that moment. Who says it would
have ruined the beginning of a new year. He's getting
phone calls all night, walking away from you to talk.
It's like he hasn't even told whoever it is, that
he's got a wife. You asked Steve and I what

(02:47):
is your husband up to? Well? What do you think
he's up to? I mean, what do you think he's doing?
I think he's disrespecting you right in your face. I mean,
you have to say something right then and there when
it's happening. He gets called out where the stuff happens,
you know, that's when he gets called out where he's
doing it.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
That's it, period.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
I get that you don't want to cause a scene,
you don't want to let people in your business and
all that, But when he's already doing that, he is,
he's already doing that when he steps away to take
a call. What do you think they're thinking when he
does that? The only thing he's trying to hide is
who it is. He's definitely not trying to hide the
fact that there's someone else he's talking to. Doesn't he

(03:28):
get that this is wrong? Doesn't he understand that? Is
that what he meant when he said he could find
ways to make the marriage work, or you guys can
find ways to make the marriage work. It sounds like
he thinks you're stupid because you even asked him before
all of this, did he need a break from the
marriage whatever that means, and he said no. I just

(03:50):
think you know, as you can see these calls and
your man or just out of control. You're letting him
do whatever he wants to do and you're not saying anything.
I mean, I think it's way past time for you
to let him have it. You need to shut it down.
Start with this. You got a car, I'm sure you
have a car. Well, accidentally on purpose run over his

(04:11):
phone with your car today, okay, And then when he
asked you about it, what he does, Just get a
phone call. Just get them You heard me, You heard
me run over his phone with the car. All right,
walk away? Do what he does when he gets a
phone call when he asks you, just walk away, Steve.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Let me just address this last comment that crazy made
in the new year.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Just his phone. Who you call?

Speaker 1 (04:35):
You're calling me crazy kills men run over run over
it with your car.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yes, if you got to run over your man's phone
with a car, the problem ain't the phone. Now, let's
go to the letter. He has to step away to
take calls. Now, this thirty six year old woman. He's
married to a third three year old man and they've
been married about eight years. He made the announcement that

(05:05):
he regrets getting married so young.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Did the math.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
He's gotten married at twenty five, that is young. He
has regretted it. He didn't get the full OAHs so
in season in he didn't get a lot of stuff
out of his system. He didn't get rid of the
things he needed to get rid of before he got married.
So when he got married, he did like a minister

(05:29):
taught me. He found out that the only thing changes
the day after you get married is the appearance of
your left hand third finger. I asked him if he
needed a break from the marriage. He said no, that's
because most men don't want to say let's take a
break from the marriage, or don't want to get a

(05:50):
divorce or admit to defeat. We just find ways around
it he said. He told me he could find ways
to make our marriage work. That is the key to
this whole letter, because you should have asked what all
did he mean? You should have had a thorough discussion

(06:10):
about you gonna find ways to make our marriage work.
What you thought he said was he was gonna work
on the marriage. Oh, you interpret it as he said
he's gonna work on the marriage.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
You didn't explore fine ways to.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
Make our marriage work, even though I regret doing it
so long.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
When I come back, I'll explain the rest of him.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
Hold I thought Steve coming up. We'll have part two
of Steve's response too. He has to step away to
take phone calls. That is the subject of today's Strawberry Letter.
We'll get back into it at twenty three minutes after
the hour right after this.

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Speaker 1 (07:24):
All right, Steve, come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
The subject is he has to step away to take calls.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Yeah, yeah, he do.

Speaker 3 (07:33):
The reason he has to step away is because is
no way you need to hear these phone calls. Let's
just get with the obvious. Now, you can't get a
man at least some credit. At least he's stepping away.
It's trying to be nucause.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
Let me tell you something. If he don't step away, huh.
He just told you in the.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
Letter he was gonna find ways to make the marriage work. Well,
the way he found you don't need to hear this
now he got married at twenty five.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Like my answer, well see, but not see.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
You don't like mine because my answer to truth. Your
answer was filled with speculation.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
And phones and stuff. You pull the man phone out
and try to run over with the car. Yeah, that's
them an ass ass late response.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yeah, but you guys know how you are about your phone.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
But let's get to the call of what's wrong. The
problem ain't the phone. He get new phone. See him
called all his stuff.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
In the clouds.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
He can do all.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yeh, he'll get a new phone by this evening. See now,
because you acting funky running over cars, he gonna fix
your ass.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
Because he gonna not. He gonna get track phone.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
See, he gonna buy a phone at Walmart and put
some minutes on it.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
You run over all these you want to.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
That's for starters.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
See that's so, let's just underst staying that. Y'all ain't
doing nothing with this phone, and you're gonna mess around.
Ain't gonna see what track phone do. Ain't no clouds
for that, ain't no tracking now. So thirty six year
old woman married this boy that was twenty five. He
told her one day he regrets getting married so young.
I asked him if he needed a break from the marriage.

(09:19):
He said no, He told me to find ways to
make our marriage work. What you should have did, like
I told you, was talk to him about what all
he meant by that, Because what he meant by that,
you thought he meant.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
He was gonna work on the marriage.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
No, he gonna find some ways to make the marriage
work for him. So we planned the trip back to
our hometown. Oh, you thought that was it. You thought
of y'all went back to the hometown.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
That was gonna fix it. And then she said right
away it didn't work out his plan. Because if that
wasn't his plan, see that was y'all's plan. You said,
let's go back to where it all started, where it
all started. He was twenty four, where it all started.

(10:05):
He was sowing oats.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
So you went to Thanksgiving and that was a big
game in town. We badly saw each other. I was
busy with my parents. He was laid out every night.
He came into my parents home late, and I noticed
the third night that his cell phone was off while
he slept. I asked him about it the next morning.
He said it must have died, or he could have

(10:29):
used another excuse and says, I turned my phone off
to give it some rest. Because you turned this phone
off at night so it could recharge itself at a break.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
Every now and then.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
You know, you have to cut your phone off and
cut it back off again, put it on and just left.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
It needed a break because I needed to reset it.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
So anyway, but it wasn't dead because I turned it
back on and off the same night. That's why you
use the other live fellas go with the I turned
it off.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
To reset it.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
After we spent time in our hometown. His attitude change.
He started posting more pictures on Instagram. He was constantly
on his phone scrolling through social media post Then he
started to get phone calls late in the evening. He would
ignore them, but I would check the phone when he
was around. I could see that he'd always delete the
incoming call.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Law my dog, your dog.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Well, he do it all the right things to work
on his marriage, to save his marriage.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
No, listen to me. I want you all to hear me,
so you learn how to question your man.

Speaker 3 (11:47):
When he said he was gonna find ways to make
our marriage work, you should have asked him exactly what
he meant by that, because it damn showed wasn't a
trip back to the hometown.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
That was part of it. But who was at the
hometown at the game is what you didn't know. That's what.

Speaker 3 (12:04):
So so now he racing call loss. You can't track
no calls. He ain't got no names listening. Then over
the holidays, a few calls came in and he had
to step away to take them, and it happened we
had company or when we were out, so I couldn't
question him or cause of sin. Well, that's where being

(12:29):
a little bit polite, because most women I know would
have opened up with where you're going? Yeah, yeah, I
get well, I we'll all be outside taking calls.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
She'll walk out there with you and listen. So I
don't know how.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
On New Year's Eve we decided to stay in and
have shamp champagne. He was distant. He played with his
phone all night. At the stroke of midnight, his phone
ring and he stepped outside to.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Take the call. He you don't need to hear him
wishing her happiness. Father, I love you, I miss you.
Happy New Year, wish you was here. All that.

Speaker 3 (13:08):
He working on staying with you, and this is the
only way he can do it. Don't you understand? You
should have asked him what I meant when he said,
I'm gonna work on making this work, because he's doing
some shit. I have confronted him at that moment of
the New Year. I yes, you should have what's my
husband up to? You're stupid for asking the question.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey
FM on Instagram and on Facebook, and check out the
Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to the Steve
Harvey Morning Show.
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Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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