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April 24, 2024 13 mins

Dear Steve and Shirley, I've been married for seven years, but we are separated. My husband saw text messages and pictures I sent to another man, and he didn't try to work things out with me and see why I was involved with someone else. I have had a boyfriend for a few months and he is a great lover and an excellent provider. I didn't have to ask for a thing. I don't have to ask for a thing or lift a finger when I'm around him. He knows how to treat a woman. My husband, on the other hand, would get upset and call me trifling if I ask him to put gas in my car or wash it for me. My husband didn't care if I was happy with our sex life or not. He only cared if his needs were being met....................................

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you, nephew. Subject He's not meeting my basic needs.
Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been married for seven years, but
we are separated. My husband saw text messages and pictures
I sent to another man, and he didn't try to
work things out with me and see why I was
involved with someone else. I have had a boyfriend for
a few months and he is a great lover and

(00:46):
an excellent provider. I didn't have to ask for a thing.
I don't have to ask for a thing or lift
a finger when I'm around him. He knows how to
treat a woman. My husband, on the other hand, would
get upset and call me trifling if I add him
to put gas in my car or wash it for me.
My husband didn't care if I was happy with our
sex life or not. He only cared if his needs

(01:08):
were being met. My boyfriend has me meet him at
the gas station once a week and he pumps my gas.
He also looks me in the eyes during intimacy and
he checks on me to make sure I'm having a
good time. I brought all of this up to my
husband and it only made him mad, and he told
me I can keep my boyfriend because he's divorcing me.

(01:29):
After two weeks of having the house to myself, I
get lonely. I got lonely and decided to ask my
husband if he would have if he would like to
talk to someone and try to get our marriage back
on track. He agreed, but counseling didn't work because we
went to a Christian woman that had been cheated on
and mistreated by a few men. So she took my

(01:50):
husband's side and told him he did right by leaving me. Look,
I know I'm wrong, but I'm not going to shortchange
myself and be miserable, especially now that I know what
being with the real man is like. My boyfriend wants
me to file for divorce. But I want my husband
to file so I won't be the bad guy. Is
my marriage really over? Or can we work past this?

(02:13):
What that's your marriage over? Did you read this? You
know you're sending text messages to another man. You've been
separated for quite a while. You know you've been to
counseling that didn't work. You're sleeping with someone else. You
said you like this other guy better. You said your

(02:36):
husband was a selfish lover, didn't take care of your car,
doesn't know how to treat a woman. What does it
matter who files first? You don't want to be the
bad guy, you say, But making the first move does
not make you a bad person. I think you're confused.
You're you know, on one hand, you got this man
who you say you like, and then on the other hand,
you're asking can you work past this? I mean, you

(02:58):
know you can give this to try, but it looks
like to me your marriage is over. Making the first move,
like I said, does not make you a bad person.
You are confused, by the way. What kind of counselor
did you guys go to. I've never heard of a
counselor that would tell the husband he did right by
leaving you, especially a Christian counselor. But Christian or not,

(03:19):
she's a bad counselor, and you, guys can go to
another one if you choose. You need to make up
your mind what you want. You are confused because your
boyfriend is pressuring you to get a divorce. Whatever you do,
do it for the right reasons, because that do it
for what's best for you in this situation, not because
someone is trying to make you get a divorce. But yeah,

(03:40):
it looks like your marriage is over, Steve.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
You know surely you in your Strawberry letters about eight times.
You have eight endings in your rebuttals, and I find
it fascinating because you're very As a matter of fact,
I happen to agree. I've been to agree with the
things you've said. This you know what I'm getting tired

(04:08):
of for me and for shure. Y'all stop writing us
with all this BS and then expect us to make
some sense of it. What are you talking about? Why
did you write us? Is your marriage over? It's over

(04:30):
at the beginning of the year. Listen the beginning of
the letter. You was married seven years, but we separated.
That's the first line in the letter. Then then you
tell us all through the letter why y'all separated. Then
at the end you want some hope. Hell, ain't no
hope in the damn letter. Let me tell you what's

(04:51):
wrong with you and him? Y'all was married for seven years,
but we separated immediately. She tell you why. My husband
saw some text messages and pictures I sent to another
man and he ain't try to work things out with
me and see why I was involved with somebody else?
What what he needed to see? What he needed to

(05:15):
work out? He saw the text, he saw the pictures.
You don't text him like that, You don't send him
pictures like that. So what would work out with you?

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Y'all?

Speaker 2 (05:25):
It's over? And he didn't try to see why I
was involved with somebody else?

Speaker 1 (05:31):
What.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
I've had a boyfriend for a few months. He's a
great lover and an excellent provider. I don't have to
ask for a thing or lift a finger when I'm
around him. He knows how to treat a woman. Okay, congratulations,
What is the rest of this letter? Fault seems pretty
final so far. My husband, on the other hand, would

(05:57):
get upset and call me trifling if I asked him
to put gas in my car washing for me. That's
because your husband don't give a damn about you. That's
all this is. He don't give a damn about you.
My husband didn't care if I was happy with our
sex life or not. He only cared if his needs
were being met. My boyfriend has me meet him at

(06:20):
the gas station once a week and he pumps my gas.
He also looks me in the eyes doing intimacy and
checks on me to make sure I'm having a good time. Okay,
why we're still typing this damn letter? You have a problem,
you found a solution.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
Tada.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Hang on, I said, tada.

Speaker 1 (06:40):
We'll have part two of your response coming up to
today's Struwberry letter at twenty three minutes after it is
he's not meeting my basic needs. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening Hary Morning Show. All right,
Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject
He's not meeting my basic needs.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
I'm so sick of these letters. I'm so we got
to help the people. We can't help these people. I'm
not trying to help her. I'ma just be real with you.
Should I'm not trying to help her. Matter of fact,
she really don't give a damn with her job. It
ain't ain't my job. Listen to me, Shirley, And he said,
I've been married for seven years, but we separated. Okay, cool.

(07:25):
That's usually the beginning of the divorcement. Very few people
separate and come back together. Very few.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
But they did go to counseling, so there's a little okay.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
We don't get to that in a minute. This is
why they got separated. My husband saw some pictures I
sent to another man. He ain't try to work things
out with me. Off try to find out why I
was involved. Hell, he read the text and saw the pictures.
He see why you were involved. He read the text.
I've had a boyfriend for a few months. He's a

(07:55):
great lover and extit provider. He know how to treat
a woman. My husband don't. On the other hand, that
would get upset and call me trifling if I asked
him to put gas in my car or wash it
for me. That's because your husband don't give a damn
about you. My husband didn't care if I was happy
with our sex life or not. He only cared about
his needs. Your boyfriend meets you once a week at
the gas station so he could pump my gas. Okay,

(08:18):
what go with your boyfriend?

Speaker 1 (08:21):
What?

Speaker 2 (08:21):
You're still typing us for what you want me and
Shirley to do. You have a solution to your problem.
It's your boyfriend. He also looks me in the eyes
and make sure and now then hear the part right
here where a letter turned.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Come on.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
I brought all this up to my husband and it
only made him mad. He told me I can keep
my boyfriend. Yes, okay, you don't see the end. Wait
a minute. You told your husband that your man looks
you in the eye when y'all intimate. You did, oh

(09:00):
your hugs, that he meets you once a week to
pump your gas. You told your husband you ain't got
to lift a finger for nothing. You know what your
husband told you keep your damn boyfriend because I'm divorcing you.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
You don't care.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
After two weeks of having the house to myself, I
got lonely. I decided to ask my husband if he
would like to talk to someone and try to get
our marriage back on track. I'm trying to find out
who's stupid in this letter and who the fool in
this letter, because there's two people in this letter. It's

(09:35):
a stupid person in this letter, and it's a fool
in the letter. Now, I'm not trying to be judgmental, lady,
but you're like you both of them. It just seemed
to me like, yeah, you're the stupid person in the food.
He agreed, He agreed, But counseling didn't work because we

(09:57):
went to a Christian woman now listen to this, that
had been cheated on and mistreated by a few men.
So she took my husband's side. That don't make no
damn sense. All. Here's a woman that's been cheated on
and dogged out by several women, and she took her

(10:19):
husband's side. You know why she took your husband's side
because you the one cheated on him. That's why she
took your husband's side. You got texts and pictures and
sent them to another man. You in here looking deeply
into his eyes. You the one letting him pump yo gass?

(10:44):
You the one?

Speaker 1 (10:45):
Wow? What was that?

Speaker 2 (10:48):
You the one letting him pump yo? Then she said, look,
I know I'm wrong, Okay, yeah, why are you writing
me and Shirley? But I'm not going to short change
myself and be miserable, especially now that I know what

(11:11):
being with the real man is like, well, go get
with him.

Speaker 1 (11:14):
Then she's confused.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
My boyfriend wants me to file for divorce file, but
I want my husband to file Why so I won't
be the bad guy? WHOA? So you don't be the
bad guy. You didn't think when you were sending them
texting them pictures. You don't think that was bad. You

(11:38):
don't think he was the bad guy. You don't you don't.
You don't think he was the bad guy when you
was letting him pump yo gas. Don't you don't think
he was the bad guy. You don't think he was
the bad guy when you set your husband down and
threw it up in his face. I got a boyfriend.
He pumped my gas, He looked in my eyes. He
treat me right. He did this right here. He gonna

(12:00):
get mad. The nerve you lucky. That's all he did
was getting mad. You can't take most men into the
brink like that. So let's give this man some credit
because he held, he stayed strong, wasn't didn't get physical,
took it like a man. Just say hey, I'm divorcing.
You get your ragged ass on. Is my marriage really over? Or?

(12:23):
Can we work past this? Can I tell you some lady,
your husband don't want you? Don't know? Man want no
woman that been disrespected him like this? Can we work
past this? No? Man won't know? What did you say, Shelby?

Speaker 1 (12:39):
I said, why did he go to counseling with her?
That's the little glimmer of hope. That's no hope.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
He just she went on there. She just asked him,
let's go to counseling. He just said, Yeah, he went
out there and found out he was one hundred percent correct. Yeah,
ain't no more counseling, all right? And don't and don't
nobody want you? You need to go on to see
if you'd borar fore and for real or not.

Speaker 1 (13:02):
That's what cleave your comments onto.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
Today's Don't Want your little raggedy behind.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
On Instagram at Steve Harvey FM and check us out
on the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app
where free never sounded so good. Now coming up next
to It's Junior with sports Talk. Right after this, you're
listening to Harvey Morning Show
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