May 7, 2024 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm thirty nine years old, and I'm sad to say that I've been a side chick for most of my adult life. I got used to men saying they were in a terrible marriage or they weren't married at all. So I started calling wives and girlfriends of the men that I was sleeping with. Earlier this year, I started going to church regularly, and I was celibate for three months. Then I met a really great guy named Jarvis. Jarvis is my preacher's nephew, so I figured he's a stand up guy. He said he was attracted to me because I'm always smelling good. He said he loves my love handles and the dimples in my butt. He asked me to be his girlfriend, and I got butterflies. I had to investigate him first though. I found him on Facebook and I saw pictures of his skinny girlfriend all over his page..............................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
(00:20):
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Thank you nephew. Subject he loves my love, handles and dimples.
All right, get into this one, Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm
thirty nine years old, and I'm sad to say that
I've been a side chick for most of my adult life.
I got used to men saying they were in a
terrible marriage or they weren't married at all. So I
started calling wives and girlfriends of the men that I
(00:48):
was sleeping with. Earlier this year, I started going to
church regularly, and I was celibate for three months. Then
I met a really great guy named Jarvis. Jarvis is
my preacher's nephew, so I figured he's a stand up guy.
He said he was attracted to me because I'm always
smelling good. He said he loves my love handles and
(01:10):
the dimples in my butt. He asked me to be
his girlfriend, and I got butterflies. I had to investigate
him first though. I found him on Facebook and I
saw pictures of his skinny girlfriend all over his page.
There was a video where he played a prank on her,
like he was about to ask her to marry him
on April Fool's Day. She and I have nothing in common.
(01:34):
She's short and skinny, and she doesn't have any booty.
I was honest with Jarvis and told him that I
found his girlfriend's picture. I asked him if he prefer
if he prefers skin and bones or meat on the bones.
He said he wants me and he's done with her
because she doesn't want to get married. But he's stuck
with her because they live together and she doesn't have
(01:57):
any friends or family to go live with. I told
him he can live with me, so he moves some
of his stuff into my place. He spends most of
his time with me, but he doesn't want to be
mean because he doesn't want to be mean to his ex,
so he goes by to check on her once a week.
I feel really bad for her because she doesn't know
(02:17):
he plans to move out. Do you think it would
be easier for her if I told her? Okay, messy,
messy boots. Should you call and tell his girlfriend that
he plans to move out? No, of course you shouldn't
do that. I mean, what is that going to do?
But get your butt whooped again. I know it won't
be the first time you've had an encounter with the
wives and girlfriends of your men. You said you started
(02:40):
calling wives and girlfriends when the men told you their stories,
so I'm sure it didn't end well when you did that.
This is not your responsibility to contact these women. Ask yourself,
why aren't the men telling them? Because telling them, of course,
ruins the risk, or runs the risk, I should say,
of them losing everything and everybody. I mean, this is
(03:01):
too much of a gamble for them. But they still
don't need you to call them and tell these men
that you're with keep you on the side like coleslaw,
and go home whenever they want to. That's the real
issue here. So you need to move on. You can
stay in this mockery of a relationship if you want to,
although I don't know why you would because you have nothing.
(03:24):
You've been the Coleslaw most of your adult life. You
said that, and you're thirty nine years old. Don't you
think it's time for a change, Steve?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
All right, here we go. Let's just go on to
get into the letter. Anyway, Cole slough Side, all this
red beans and rice you know, tell me about she
got it from some TV Still, I ain't never seen
any damn TV show, did Steven Shirley. I'm thirty nine
years old, and I'm sad to say, here's the key
to this whole letter, y'all. I've been a side shit
(03:52):
for most of my adult life. I got used to
me and saying they was in terrible managers or wasn't
married at all. So I started calling and girlfriends of
men that I was sleeping with. Oh, so you turn
it into what is this a business on side hustle?
What is you you know? Home wrecking? Are you in
(04:16):
salvage marriage? Salvage business? I don't know what you were in.
I don't know what the cause was about. But anyway,
then earlier this year you started going to church regularly
and I was celibate for three months down, you been
out there strong. For a woman to say, I've been
celibate for three months, that's that's like they women can
(04:38):
do that easy. I've been celibate for three months.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Huh, it's not easy, but they can do it. It's
not easy.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Well, I'm just you know, I'm just learning quite a
bit today. I was just in a complimentary ways. Easier
more women can do it, and easier for a woman
to do it for three months. You know, I don't
see anyway. Okay, Well, so anyway, she started going to
church and was celibate for three months. Then I met
this really great guy named Jarvis. Now Jarvis is the
(05:11):
preacher's nephew, so I figured he was a stand up guy.
He said he's attracted to me because I always smell good.
Said he loves my love handles and the dimples in
my butt. Now, wait a minute, Wait a minute. You've
been celibate for three months. How this Jarvis get to
(05:31):
the love handles and the dimples in the butt. I'm
just curious. So this is after unless you're saying after
three months, then you got involved with Jarvis and he
discovered your love handles and dimples. Okay, Then that's whatever, lady.
I just don't know where you're going with this letter,
but I do have an idea. He asked me to
(05:54):
be his girlfriend, and I got butterflies. So he asked
you to be the girlfriend after he saw your love
handles and dimples in you butt all right. I had
to investigate him first, though, Oh this is You've never
done this before, So now you investigate a reporter. You
saw pictures, and that was a video of him playing
a prank on his girlfriend. She was skinny. He was
about to ask her to marry him on able Fool's Day.
(06:16):
She and I ain't got nothing to come. She's short
and skinny. I'm big and wide. Now this is not
in the letter, but I'm assuming what Well, you know
Coleslaw wasn't in the letter, but you read that too anyway,
So anyway, it'll just being the creative. Anyway, when I
come back, I'm going to tell you what's really happening
(06:39):
in this letter, and it won't be nice.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
It will have heart too. Of Steve's response coming up
at twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry Letter
subject he loves my love handles and dimples. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening morning show?
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject is love is my love handles and dimples.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Well, this woman who has spent the majority majority of
her adult life as a side chick. In the words
of my co host Cold Slow, those words she says
she got from off of a TV show which I've
never seen. Well, that ain't where I got it from.
(07:30):
I think we all know where you've got this from.
You're not going to talk about no damn TV show anyway, Tommy,
thank you. I got used to me and saying they
was in terrible marriages and everything. And then so I
was calling wives and girlfriends of the men that I
was sleeping with. I don't know if she's into a
marriage salvage business or home wrecking company. I don't know
(07:51):
what she in, but she's made a habit of this
her adult life. Then she started going to church regularly, regularly,
and I will celebrated for three months. Okay, I got it.
She was celebrated for three months. Then I met a
really gay, great guy named Jarvis. So after the three
months she met Jovis, I got it. Now, so she's
a preacher's nephew. So she figured he was a good dude.
(08:13):
He said he was attracted to me because I'm always
smelling good and he loves my love handles and the
dimples in my butt. Okay, he asked me to be
his girlfriend. I got butterflies. I had to investigate him first, though, Well,
I guess that's like you've done everybody else. I found
him on Facebook and a book, and I saw pictures
(08:34):
of his skinny girlfriend all over his page. That was
a video. He played a prank on her, like he
was about to ask her the Marijuan ain't for Fool's day.
She and I have nothing in common. She's short and skinny.
I'm thick and wide, tall and wide, and she don't
have any booty, and I got a whole lot of
junk in the trunk. Now this ain't in the letter,
(08:54):
but that's what That's what she said, she said. She said,
though I have nothing in common with her, she's short
and skinny, so I'm figuring she's tall and not skinny.
Why then, she said, and she has no booty. You
can't have no booty and dimples too, now, because the
(09:14):
dimples got to set on something. I ask him if
he preferred skin and bones or meat on the bones.
He says he wants me and he's done with her
because she don't want to get married. But he's stuck
with her because they live together and she don't have
any friends or family to go with. And of all
the men, married men and boyfriends you've dated, you ain't
(09:36):
heard this line before. Because this line sounds very familiar.
Standard is stock. This is a stock line that married
me and used when they talking to women. I told
him he can come live with me, so he moved.
Listen to this. Now he moved some of his stuff
into my place. Okay, he got toothbrush over there. Now,
(09:58):
got some T shirts, sock compare draws. He spends most
of his time with me, but he doesn't want to
be mean to his ex, so he goes by to
check on her once a week. See now, I'm not
really sure that that's how this working, lady, because if
(10:19):
he lives with her but he don't want to be mean,
but he spending most of his time with you, but
he go by to check on her once a week,
what is he telling her that? Where is he at
the rest of this time, because I promise you, he
ain't telling her that he over there with you. I
feel really bad to her because she doesn't know he
plans to move out. Do you think it would be
(10:42):
easier for her if I told her? Oh so here
we go now? Oh so now you want to go
back and you wanna do your emo. First of all,
you're dating another man that's already in a relationship, because
that's what you do. You have practice at it, and
(11:02):
that's what you attract. You always attract men that's not available,
and you always accept them because you allow them to
say the same old thing. I'm in a horrible relationship.
She don't want to get married. I do. I'm unhappy
with her. You've heard this one hundred times or how
many other times you done been in these relationship And
(11:24):
so the reason you call the wives and the girlfriends
is because you're miserable and you want everybody else to
be miserable. You also call them because you have nobody,
and now you want them to have nobody. But you
could stop this vicious cycle by once you find out
(11:48):
that the man is committed relationship, don't go over there.
But you don't have room for a healthy relationship because
you keep partaking in these half relationships that never get
you anywhere? What is wrong with you? Don't you see
that you're doing this to yourself. And when you call
(12:10):
all these girlfriends and these wives, what do you hope
to accomplish? Ain't none of those men's wives or girlfriends
that you call and left. Ain't none of the men
with you today. So now you're gonna do this same
thing to this man, and you gonna call her and
then you try to put the little why don't know
what you go to church for, but you're gonna try
(12:31):
to put the little church spin on it. Do you
think it would be easier for her if I told her?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
What?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
How you think that's gonna be easier? A woman get
a call from another woman talking about your man is
with me? You think that it'll be easy? Now you
try to be the same funky person you being, and
you're gonna get the same funky results you've been getting
because you're gonna lose Javis, just like you'd have lost
everybody else, because Javis ain't yours again. Congratulations, Until you
(13:00):
stop it, it will never stop, all right.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter It's Never the
Fm on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app for it.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Never Sounded So good. Guys.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Downloaded today coming up at forty six minutes after the hour,
call you from Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this,
you're listening Dave Harvey Morning Show
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARBFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
(00:20):
it could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Thank you nephew. Subject he loves my love, handles and dimples.
All right, get into this one, Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm
thirty nine years old, and I'm sad to say that
I've been a side chick for most of my adult life.
I got used to men saying they were in a
terrible marriage or they weren't married at all. So I
started calling wives and girlfriends of the men that I
(00:48):
was sleeping with. Earlier this year, I started going to
church regularly, and I was celibate for three months. Then
I met a really great guy named Jarvis. Jarvis is
my preacher's nephew, so I figured he's a stand up guy.
He said he was attracted to me because I'm always
smelling good. He said he loves my love handles and
(01:10):
the dimples in my butt. He asked me to be
his girlfriend, and I got butterflies. I had to investigate
him first though. I found him on Facebook and I
saw pictures of his skinny girlfriend all over his page.
There was a video where he played a prank on her,
like he was about to ask her to marry him
on April Fool's Day. She and I have nothing in common.
(01:34):
She's short and skinny, and she doesn't have any booty.
I was honest with Jarvis and told him that I
found his girlfriend's picture. I asked him if he prefer
if he prefers skin and bones or meat on the bones.
He said he wants me and he's done with her
because she doesn't want to get married. But he's stuck
with her because they live together and she doesn't have
(01:57):
any friends or family to go live with. I told
him he can live with me, so he moves some
of his stuff into my place. He spends most of
his time with me, but he doesn't want to be
mean because he doesn't want to be mean to his ex,
so he goes by to check on her once a week.
I feel really bad for her because she doesn't know
(02:17):
he plans to move out. Do you think it would
be easier for her if I told her? Okay, messy,
messy boots. Should you call and tell his girlfriend that
he plans to move out? No, of course you shouldn't
do that. I mean, what is that going to do?
But get your butt whooped again. I know it won't
be the first time you've had an encounter with the
wives and girlfriends of your men. You said you started
(02:40):
calling wives and girlfriends when the men told you their stories,
so I'm sure it didn't end well when you did that.
This is not your responsibility to contact these women. Ask yourself,
why aren't the men telling them? Because telling them, of course,
ruins the risk, or runs the risk, I should say,
of them losing everything and everybody. I mean, this is
(03:01):
too much of a gamble for them. But they still
don't need you to call them and tell these men
that you're with keep you on the side like coleslaw,
and go home whenever they want to. That's the real
issue here. So you need to move on. You can
stay in this mockery of a relationship if you want to,
although I don't know why you would because you have nothing.
(03:24):
You've been the Coleslaw most of your adult life. You
said that, and you're thirty nine years old. Don't you
think it's time for a change, Steve?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
All right, here we go. Let's just go on to
get into the letter. Anyway, Cole slough Side, all this
red beans and rice you know, tell me about she
got it from some TV Still, I ain't never seen
any damn TV show, did Steven Shirley. I'm thirty nine
years old, and I'm sad to say, here's the key
to this whole letter, y'all. I've been a side shit
(03:52):
for most of my adult life. I got used to
me and saying they was in terrible managers or wasn't
married at all. So I started calling and girlfriends of
men that I was sleeping with. Oh, so you turn
it into what is this a business on side hustle?
What is you you know? Home wrecking? Are you in
(04:16):
salvage marriage? Salvage business? I don't know what you were in.
I don't know what the cause was about. But anyway,
then earlier this year you started going to church regularly
and I was celibate for three months down, you been
out there strong. For a woman to say, I've been
celibate for three months, that's that's like they women can
(04:38):
do that easy. I've been celibate for three months.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Huh, it's not easy, but they can do it. It's
not easy.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Well, I'm just you know, I'm just learning quite a
bit today. I was just in a complimentary ways. Easier
more women can do it, and easier for a woman
to do it for three months. You know, I don't
see anyway. Okay, Well, so anyway, she started going to
church and was celibate for three months. Then I met
this really great guy named Jarvis. Now Jarvis is the
(05:11):
preacher's nephew, so I figured he was a stand up guy.
He said he's attracted to me because I always smell good.
Said he loves my love handles and the dimples in
my butt. Now, wait a minute, Wait a minute. You've
been celibate for three months. How this Jarvis get to
(05:31):
the love handles and the dimples in the butt. I'm
just curious. So this is after unless you're saying after
three months, then you got involved with Jarvis and he
discovered your love handles and dimples. Okay, Then that's whatever, lady.
I just don't know where you're going with this letter,
but I do have an idea. He asked me to
(05:54):
be his girlfriend, and I got butterflies. So he asked
you to be the girlfriend after he saw your love
handles and dimples in you butt all right. I had
to investigate him first, though, Oh this is You've never
done this before, So now you investigate a reporter. You
saw pictures, and that was a video of him playing
a prank on his girlfriend. She was skinny. He was
about to ask her to marry him on able Fool's Day.
(06:16):
She and I ain't got nothing to come. She's short
and skinny. I'm big and wide. Now this is not
in the letter, but I'm assuming what Well, you know
Coleslaw wasn't in the letter, but you read that too anyway,
So anyway, it'll just being the creative. Anyway, when I
come back, I'm going to tell you what's really happening
(06:39):
in this letter, and it won't be nice.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
It will have heart too. Of Steve's response coming up
at twenty three minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry Letter
subject he loves my love handles and dimples. We'll get
back into it right after this. You're listening morning show?
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject is love is my love handles and dimples.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Well, this woman who has spent the majority majority of
her adult life as a side chick. In the words
of my co host Cold Slow, those words she says
she got from off of a TV show which I've
never seen. Well, that ain't where I got it from.
(07:30):
I think we all know where you've got this from.
You're not going to talk about no damn TV show anyway, Tommy,
thank you. I got used to me and saying they
was in terrible marriages and everything. And then so I
was calling wives and girlfriends of the men that I
was sleeping with. I don't know if she's into a
marriage salvage business or home wrecking company. I don't know
(07:51):
what she in, but she's made a habit of this
her adult life. Then she started going to church regularly, regularly,
and I will celebrated for three months. Okay, I got it.
She was celebrated for three months. Then I met a
really gay, great guy named Jarvis. So after the three
months she met Jovis, I got it. Now, so she's
a preacher's nephew. So she figured he was a good dude.
(08:13):
He said he was attracted to me because I'm always
smelling good and he loves my love handles and the
dimples in my butt. Okay, he asked me to be
his girlfriend. I got butterflies. I had to investigate him first, though, Well,
I guess that's like you've done everybody else. I found
him on Facebook and a book, and I saw pictures
(08:34):
of his skinny girlfriend all over his page. That was
a video. He played a prank on her, like he
was about to ask her the Marijuan ain't for Fool's day.
She and I have nothing in common. She's short and skinny.
I'm thick and wide, tall and wide, and she don't
have any booty, and I got a whole lot of
junk in the trunk. Now this ain't in the letter,
(08:54):
but that's what That's what she said, she said. She said,
though I have nothing in common with her, she's short
and skinny, so I'm figuring she's tall and not skinny.
Why then, she said, and she has no booty. You
can't have no booty and dimples too, now, because the
(09:14):
dimples got to set on something. I ask him if
he preferred skin and bones or meat on the bones.
He says he wants me and he's done with her
because she don't want to get married. But he's stuck
with her because they live together and she don't have
any friends or family to go with. And of all
the men, married men and boyfriends you've dated, you ain't
(09:36):
heard this line before. Because this line sounds very familiar.
Standard is stock. This is a stock line that married
me and used when they talking to women. I told
him he can come live with me, so he moved.
Listen to this. Now he moved some of his stuff
into my place. Okay, he got toothbrush over there. Now,
(09:58):
got some T shirts, sock compare draws. He spends most
of his time with me, but he doesn't want to
be mean to his ex, so he goes by to
check on her once a week. See now, I'm not
really sure that that's how this working, lady, because if
(10:19):
he lives with her but he don't want to be mean,
but he spending most of his time with you, but
he go by to check on her once a week,
what is he telling her that? Where is he at
the rest of this time, because I promise you, he
ain't telling her that he over there with you. I
feel really bad to her because she doesn't know he
plans to move out. Do you think it would be
(10:42):
easier for her if I told her? Oh so here
we go now? Oh so now you want to go
back and you wanna do your emo. First of all,
you're dating another man that's already in a relationship, because
that's what you do. You have practice at it, and
(11:02):
that's what you attract. You always attract men that's not available,
and you always accept them because you allow them to
say the same old thing. I'm in a horrible relationship.
She don't want to get married. I do. I'm unhappy
with her. You've heard this one hundred times or how
many other times you done been in these relationship And
(11:24):
so the reason you call the wives and the girlfriends
is because you're miserable and you want everybody else to
be miserable. You also call them because you have nobody,
and now you want them to have nobody. But you
could stop this vicious cycle by once you find out
(11:48):
that the man is committed relationship, don't go over there.
But you don't have room for a healthy relationship because
you keep partaking in these half relationships that never get
you anywhere? What is wrong with you? Don't you see
that you're doing this to yourself. And when you call
(12:10):
all these girlfriends and these wives, what do you hope
to accomplish? Ain't none of those men's wives or girlfriends
that you call and left. Ain't none of the men
with you today. So now you're gonna do this same
thing to this man, and you gonna call her and
then you try to put the little why don't know
what you go to church for, but you're gonna try
(12:31):
to put the little church spin on it. Do you
think it would be easier for her if I told her?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
What?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
How you think that's gonna be easier? A woman get
a call from another woman talking about your man is
with me? You think that it'll be easy? Now you
try to be the same funky person you being, and
you're gonna get the same funky results you've been getting
because you're gonna lose Javis, just like you'd have lost
everybody else, because Javis ain't yours again. Congratulations, Until you
(13:00):
stop it, it will never stop, all right.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter It's Never the
Fm on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app for it.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Never Sounded So good. Guys.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Downloaded today coming up at forty six minutes after the hour,
call you from Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this,
you're listening Dave Harvey Morning Show
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