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July 18, 2024 • 13 mins

Dear Steve and Shirley, My husband and I have been married for twelve years and he is on just about every committee at our church, so he's always doing something for ladies at our church. He does not offer to take me with him, even though I complain that he does not spend time with me like he used to. He told me that it's part of his calling to serve others. He likes to mirror what our pastor does, so he'll drop everything to go help the single church women do odd jobs around the house. Just like Saturday, he went to change out the filters and a single church member's air conditioner. He came in late and said the unit was in the attic and he had trouble getting to it......................

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.
We got it for you here. It is Strawberry letter.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
All right, Thank you, nephew. The subject is he wants
me to share him with women at church. Dear Stephen Shirley,
My husband and I have been married for twelve years
and he is on just about every committee at our church,
so he's always doing something for ladies at our church.
He does not offer to take me with him, even
though I complain that he does not spend time with

(00:47):
me like he used to. He told me that it's
part of his calling to serve others. He likes to
mirror what our pastor does, so he'll drop everything to
go help single help the single women, the single chime
church women do odd jobs around the house. Just like Saturday,
he went to change out the filters and a single
church member's air conditioner. He came in late and said

(01:10):
the unit was in the attic and he had trouble
getting to it. While he is gone helping others, he
doesn't answer my calls at all, but he will text
me when he's headed home. He won't ever tell me
why he ignored my calls while he was out. Why
don't We don't have any children together, but he has
a teen son that he also uses as an excuse

(01:31):
to get out of the house. Recently, he said he
was going to chaperon a youth event at the Fellowship Hall,
but his son said the event was postponed. My husband
never told me the event didn't happen. I overlook a
lot of what he does, but when it comes to
the women at church, I don't like sharing him. I
don't understand why he has to fix things for them

(01:52):
or help them out around the house. It is taking
my patience to a new level. But he keeps on
telling me to stop being selfish. Is he using the
word to his advantage? Do you think that he is
really doing the Lord's work? Or is he a cheater?

Speaker 2 (02:08):
All right?

Speaker 1 (02:09):
I know you wrote us you already know the answer.
You know what's going on. Nothing you've said in this
letter makes any sense. Nothing. Who does this kind of
stuff but a cheater? Okay. All the red flags are there,
but you are ignoring them, as we women often do.
We collect them. We see the signs, they're right there.

(02:31):
He doesn't answer any phone calls when you call them.
All of that, we see them, but we ignore them.
He's putting all these women, all these so called church women,
before you, before his family, before his household. I bet
you have stuff in your own house that needs fixing.
But he's out there taking care of the single women
at the church, saying that this is the Lord's work.

(02:53):
Come on, now, this is not right. So the question comes.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Right back to you.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Why are you allowing him to do this? Why don't
you step Why don't you say something? He's taking you
for granted, he's ignoring you. He is not doing the
Lord's work. Whatever his name is, your husband's name is,
He's doing his own selfish work. This is not right,
and you know has nothing to do with the Lord. Tommy,

(03:17):
what you got.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
I am Hezekiah the Holy Helper, I said, I am
Hezekiah the Holy Helper, And it is my job to
help these ladies at the church. There's going through some
stress and going through some problems. I got a call,

(03:39):
I said, I got a call from Sister Darlen.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
She's having some issues with her vocal card.

Speaker 3 (03:47):
I went over there, I said, I went over there
and I touched them vocal card.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
Good guy, almighty, she's doing good now.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
I was on my way home, coming back to you,
but I got another call. Call. I'm sorry, but sister
kind of call. Slats under her bed keep falling. I
went over there and got them slats back on track.
We tried them slats out to make sure.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
They don't fall no mood. I was on my way.
Lady asked that I was on my way to see you.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
I was coming home, baby, but Sister Bernard Dede gave
me a call. She's having problems getting her girdle on.
I went over there, Yes I did, and I got
behind sister girdl and pull that girdle and got on
up in there. Now she can go on by her business.

(04:48):
I was on my way home, but.

Speaker 4 (04:51):
I got another call Sister Faith, I said, Sister Faate,
she gave me a call, said she needed to get
her backwax because she got growing.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
I went over there and I waxed that back. I
waxed that back. I was a backwaxer all leaving alone.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
Yes, sometimes in our ministries we have people that don't
agree with what we're doing. But me, I am Hezekiah
the Holy Helper. And when I get a call, when
Hezekiya gets a call and they need me and these
women are in distress, I will come. I will drop

(05:40):
everything that I am doing and come as quickly as
I can.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
All right. Yes, So there's.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
Any women out there that needs some help from Hezekia
the Holy Helper, Please don't hezekid the call one A
seven seven nine Steed seven twenty nine, Steve, And all
I want you to ask for Hezekai the Holy Helper
and leave me a message on what it is you

(06:11):
need me to do.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
All right, and I'm gonna check that tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Now.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
That's Hezekaya the Holy Helper.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
Eight seven seven twenty nine Steve, and I am here
to help you forever you need, all right. It doesn't
matter what time. If it's two in the morning, three
in the morning, four called Hezekiya, help is on the way,
all right, hang.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
On coming up in twenty three minutes. After the hour,
we'll come back and recap the strawberry letter. He wants
to he wants me to share him with other women
at the church. Get we'll get back into it right
after this. You're listening hard morning show.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
All right, it's.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Time to recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is he
wants me to share him with women and at the church.
A woman wrote this letter. She and her husband have
been married for twelve years, and she says in church
he's just about on every committee, so he's always doing
something for the single ladies at the church, saying he's
been called to serve, and he's trying to mimic the

(07:17):
pastor who has been called to serve. He doesn't offer
to take his wife with him, even though she complains
that he doesn't spend enough time with her like they
used to. He just said it's his part of his
calling to serve others. And again he likes to mirror
what the pastor does with going out and helping these
single women. Just last Saturday, he went to change the

(07:41):
filters at a single church member's house in her air conditioner.
While he was gone helping others while he is away.
He doesn't answer his wife's phone calls, but he will
text her when he's headed home. A lot of times
it's late at night. He won't even tell her why
he ignored the And they don't have any children, but

(08:03):
he does have a son, and a lot of times
he uses his son as an excuse to get out
of the house. So his son told him one time
that he had an event at the at his school
and the husband was going to chaperone. But the husband
never told her that the chapper that the event was
called off. He didn't have to chaperone after all, so

(08:24):
he went out anyway. So a lot of this is
going on. She's asking is he using the word to
take advantage of her? And does he do we think
he's doing the Lord's work? Or is he a cheater?
All right, I think we're in agreement that he's a cheater, Junior.
Let's hear what you got. He wants me to share

(08:44):
him with women at the church.

Speaker 5 (08:46):
I want to thank Hiszekaia the Holy Helper for that
wonderful word.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Last second, I just want to give her this word.

Speaker 5 (08:57):
Let her understand that the word today is being selfish.
Come on here, now, come on here, boy, I just
want to know that if you said it yourself, you said,
stop being selfish. By definition, selfish means to ignore others
intend to your own needs.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
That's right, that's right.

Speaker 5 (09:19):
But this man has a has a calling. See his
calling is to serve the women of the church. Now
you may not understand his calling, but imagine if the
law was selfish with you.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Come on, you see every every time.

Speaker 5 (09:36):
Imagine if the Lord just didn't help you with your bills.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
Come on, imagine if the law was selfish with everything
that you asked for. Take your time.

Speaker 5 (09:46):
But you're sitting up here upset because he changing filters.
You mad because he can change the eye condition filter,
he can he can tighten some pipes.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Come on, I can't believe you upset.

Speaker 5 (10:00):
Imagine if you were selfish, these people wouldn't have it.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
Now you're using his son against some message.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
That's wrong.

Speaker 5 (10:05):
You misunderstood what he was saying. I already understood what
he was saying. You said, his son said that the
party was canceled.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
It was postponed.

Speaker 5 (10:13):
But see he when you're helping single mother, you become
the father of many. See they all got children. He
wouldn't talking about his son. You talk about another son
that it got from Miss Sarah's son. That's who he's
talking about.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
He had a part that he was shopping on. In
that one. He said, you don't understand you're being selfish
that this man help. That's what you need to do.
Understand when he come home. Have a hot plate.

Speaker 5 (10:36):
He was out there helping. He just need a meal.
He doing everything he can. His hands has worked down
to the bones, and he tied you brill and you
all you can do is complain.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
You won't call me on the way home. I can't
talk when I'm working.

Speaker 5 (10:48):
Come on, now, you can't make phone calls when I'm
out here digging dishes.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
I can't do it.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
Brother.

Speaker 5 (10:57):
He is trying to work for everybody, you know how
a single woman in his search the phone.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
Don't stop bringing mine. I'm about I'm bouyt my biggest
I'm bout my calling. That's what he's doing. Don't have
time for no regular talk. She gonna come help.

Speaker 5 (11:11):
Hold a filter for me, hold the wrench, get a
screw driver. Don't be complaining. You're being selfish.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Come on on, man, I just want.

Speaker 5 (11:19):
To say thank you. Has a kind of helper for
bringing that on home. And the word today is stopped
being selfish. Think of those outside yourself and everything that
you have. See. Ain't no problems at your house though,
Don't nothing need fixing here? There's no work for me here.
This land is dry.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
I don't need to be here. Yes, I got to
go where the whales at. I'm thirsty. I got to go.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Were condoning his cheating.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
He's not cheating.

Speaker 5 (11:47):
He's out there working, he's serving, he's doing his calling.
I bet you if he was out in the strip club,
we have plenty to say. I bet you if he's
having a fast, we have plenty to say. Brother Martin
is out here fixing everything, out here, working on his corner.
Come on, he don't need nobody distracting them. And that's

(12:10):
fun of his that's none of his business. I got
children everywhere. I'm a father figured out. I'm feeling for action.

Speaker 2 (12:16):
Father, this is what I do.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
Come on, is he doing his Lord's work? Is he
doing the lord?

Speaker 3 (12:20):
He's doing the.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Lord's work, he's been doing it.

Speaker 5 (12:22):
He's calling a word about this man fixing everything. Ain't
nobody got no hot bills? He's doing for free. He
don't even charge.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Ain't see the blessing in this, and.

Speaker 5 (12:33):
It's a blessing in disgust. Has a kind of helping,
has a kind of holy helper. Told you all that.
He told you where he's working at.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
He got places to be wax up back in a minute.
Stop saying that I will wax up. That's all they do.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Not worry when you compose your comments on today's Strawberry
Letter at Steve Harvey at Theam on Instagram and Facebook,
book and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
At all he was selfish.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
Bring never sounded so good. You can download it today
now coming up at forty six minutes after the hour,
had birthday Boy Junior and sporting when being a last
you're listening Dave Harvey Morning Show
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