May 26, 2022 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, my husband and I are 27 years old and newly married. We’ve been together for a total of seven years and we waited until we got married to have sex. I should’ve seen that as a red flag, but I didn’t. We are die-hard Christians, so I thought he was just being obedient. He never pressured me for sex and there were nights I thought I was going to lose my mind, because I wanted him so badly.......................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right, it is time for the Strawberry Letter. And
before we get to that, I want to remind you
that my Love Collection candles are out. They are available
right now at love Shirley Strawberry dot com. Love Shirley
Strawberry dot com. Go on the site and get you
some candles and be lit in your life. Okay, how
about that anyway? Okay, be lit. That's way to put it. There,
(00:26):
got a little look to it, nerve, be lit? All right.
Strawberry Letter forward today. Um. If you need advice on relationships,
on dating, on work, on sex, on parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading
(00:49):
your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna
read this one right here, right now. Hear that you
never know it could be yours. Buckle up and hold
on tight. We got it, Paul, you here it is
the straw very love all right, Thank you, nephew. Subject
he's never in the mood. Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband
and I are twenty seven years old and newly married.
(01:11):
We've been together for a total of seven years, and
we waited until we got married to have sex. I
should have seen that as a red flag, but I didn't.
We are die hard Christians, so I thought he was
just being obedient. He never pressured me for sex, and
there were nights I thought I was going to lose
my mind because I wanted him so badly. He's got
(01:34):
the total package and knows what to do with it.
I was pleasantly surprised on my wedding night, and I
fell more in love with him after our first intimate connection.
I want to keep connecting now, but he's never in
the mood. When I met him, he said sex has
never been a major thing to him. I told him
it was everything to me if I loved someone. Granted
(01:57):
I was only twenty years old at the time, but
I been having sex since high school and I really
really like it. I waited seven years for him, and
nowadays I have to co arthe him into being intimate.
He'll take a shower, put on pajamas, and curl up
next to me in bed, wanting to talk about his day.
He said that's what his parents did and they have
(02:20):
a perfect marriage. He got upset when I told him that,
I'm sure they're doing more than reading books and chatting
in their bed. I can be naked and oiled up
when he comes home from work, and he'll kiss me
on the forehead, pat me on the butt, and say
something stupid like you're gonna get grease all over the couch.
I wondered if he isn't sexually attracted to me, but
(02:43):
he assured me that he is. He's insisting there's no
problem and I need to calm myself and focus on
other things. I'm not trying to focus on any other man,
and I am being patient. Am I wrong to want
to make love to my husband? Come on, absolutely not.
You're not wrong for desiring something that should be very
(03:03):
natural in a marriage. I mean marriage is hard with sex,
so marriage with no sex or hardly any sex ever,
has to be extremely challenging for you. The question is, though,
why not? Why doesn't he want to have sex, especially
when he said he is attracted to you? Could that
be a lie? I don't know. I mean he's not
(03:25):
doing it, He's not acting on what he says, so
I mean some people do have low sex drives just
like others have high sex drives. Some people are sexual
sex addicts. There's treatment for sexual addiction. So I say,
you guys need to find out about his low sex drive.
I'm not a doctor or anything like that, but I'm
sure someone can tell you if there's something wrong with
(03:48):
him medically. The issue is probably going to be, you know,
to get him to go to the doctor, because from
the sound of it, he doesn't think there's a problem.
I mean, didn't you say you he told you to
calm down and focus on other things. That was jry,
just very dismissive. You know, what other things are you
supposed to focus on when you want to have sex
(04:11):
with your husband. I mean, he's not hearing you at
this point. He's not taking the time to deal with
the very basic needs of his wife. This is no
way to start a marriage. And I'm sure you know
that this is something that we shouldn't even have to
be talking about right now because you guys are newly
weds and you're only twenty seven, you've been together for
(04:31):
seven years. You should be all over each other by now.
You waited until marriage to have sex. I mean, I
just think it's time for some very serious heart to
heart conversations, a trip to the doctor or you know,
and find out what the issue is or I think
you guys are going to be divorced. Steve Twittiest seven
(04:52):
years old. I'm looking back thirty eight years ago. I
was twenty seven years old, embarked on my now famous
and illustrious comedic career at the age of twenty seven.
As our peer back into those years of youth and levity,
(05:20):
I cannot think of anything more important to me than
having sex. It's not come on today at sixty five
the burning yearing consistent desire that it was then, simply
(05:44):
because I have to make money. Now I have businesses
to run. I'm trying to be impactful instead of just pactful.
It was my job solely focused on packing, okay, but
(06:09):
now I'm focused on being impactful. But packing has always
been important, and I ain't talking about lunches either. When
I come back, we'll continue in this same thank you sir.
(06:35):
I don't know what to say. He sounds like a preacher,
but he's talking about packing. I don't know, it's just crazy. Right,
we'll have part two if Steve's response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour today Strawberry letters subject
is he's never in the mood. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening to show all right,
(06:57):
come on, Steve whatever, Come on and organ twenty seven
years old. Both you and the hoosp brand new married,
(07:20):
been together seven years, waited until we gotting married to
have six How did you do that? That's a minor
miracle statement right now. Most people can't wait till Friday.
(07:41):
You managed until you got married. A man, I couldn't
have waited on the weekend. I couldn't have waited till tomorrow.
Most time, I could hardly wait at all. Somehow, you
man is to wait till you were married. I should
(08:05):
have seen that as a red flag. How to saw
it as a blue flag, black flag, white flag on flag?
How to saw it as all council flags. We are
die hard Christians? That's right. You gonna die hard too. Yeah,
(08:30):
you keep this up, You're not only gonna be die
hard Christians, but you're gonna die hard too. You're leading
up to a hard death. If you ask me, every
day that we live with one step closer to our
final destination. But along the way, I want to create memories.
(08:55):
I want to have things to look back on. I
need few up to continue the journey. I need to
be a tesla. I need to get plugged in. I'm
a refrigerator that need electricity to be cool. And now
(09:15):
you say he's got the total package and he know
what to do. You say you were surprised on your
wed To night and you fail more in love with
him after our first intimate connection. And she says she
wants the connection now, but he's never in the mood.
(09:36):
Listen to this scripture right here. When I met him,
he said, sex has never been a major thing to him.
What who is he? And what is he? To you?
(09:57):
A time? Now take it. My friends feel as there
are pointed duty. They keep trying to tell me all
you want to do is use me. But I can't
seem to get him in the mood. What is going on?
The hell in hell? I told him it was everything
(10:21):
to me as it was with I. Sex was everything,
the only thing, A matter of fact, it was the
leading thing. I considered it my thing. Oh lord, I'm
(10:44):
preaching now. You waited seven years, really, and now you
got to core urge him into being intimate. She goes
on to say, he'll take a shower, put on pajamas
and curled up next to me. In bed. Why would
(11:07):
I already be naked, come out the shower and put
on some hot ass pajamas. Why would I do that
when the whole goal is to get naked. I'm never
in mind, tyle, love making career. Come out the shower naked,
(11:28):
knowing you in now, and I put on some hot
ass pajamas for what? Saying that he wants to talk
about his day, I'm going to wrap up my day.
I'm going to put my day in a box and
put a ribbon on it. He said that's what his
parents did and they got a perfect marriage. I'm twenty seven.
(11:53):
I got to brain heat fried bacon. I got to
let you have it because I got it to give
it to you. It's just sad. I want to total
package you finning, get the whole package. Yeah, I'm sure
they did more than reading books. And nah, here we go.
(12:13):
I can be neked and all up. When he come
home from work, he'll kiss me on the forehead, pat
me on the butt and say something stupid like you're
gonna get grease all over the couch. Let me correct
that statement. You're gonna get me and this grease all
over this here couch. Damn to take your clothes off
and grease up in front of me. I'll tell you what,
(12:35):
You're gonna need more grease, because I'm finna get all
of y'all grease on me. All right? Why are we
trying to address this letter? I don't know those of
this church is now open. Bring your greasy self on
up to the post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter.
(12:57):
It's Steve HARVEFM on Instagram, Faithbook. Check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on demand coming up at forty six minutes
after Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening
to the Dame Harvey Morning Show
All right, it is time for the Strawberry Letter. And
before we get to that, I want to remind you
that my Love Collection candles are out. They are available
right now at love Shirley Strawberry dot com. Love Shirley
Strawberry dot com. Go on the site and get you
some candles and be lit in your life. Okay, how
about that anyway? Okay, be lit. That's way to put it. There,
(00:26):
got a little look to it, nerve, be lit? All right.
Strawberry Letter forward today. Um. If you need advice on relationships,
on dating, on work, on sex, on parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM dot
com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading
(00:49):
your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna
read this one right here, right now. Hear that you
never know it could be yours. Buckle up and hold
on tight. We got it, Paul, you here it is
the straw very love all right, Thank you, nephew. Subject
he's never in the mood. Dear Stephen Shirley. My husband
and I are twenty seven years old and newly married.
(01:11):
We've been together for a total of seven years, and
we waited until we got married to have sex. I
should have seen that as a red flag, but I didn't.
We are die hard Christians, so I thought he was
just being obedient. He never pressured me for sex, and
there were nights I thought I was going to lose
my mind because I wanted him so badly. He's got
(01:34):
the total package and knows what to do with it.
I was pleasantly surprised on my wedding night, and I
fell more in love with him after our first intimate connection.
I want to keep connecting now, but he's never in
the mood. When I met him, he said sex has
never been a major thing to him. I told him
it was everything to me if I loved someone. Granted
(01:57):
I was only twenty years old at the time, but
I been having sex since high school and I really
really like it. I waited seven years for him, and
nowadays I have to co arthe him into being intimate.
He'll take a shower, put on pajamas, and curl up
next to me in bed, wanting to talk about his day.
He said that's what his parents did and they have
(02:20):
a perfect marriage. He got upset when I told him that,
I'm sure they're doing more than reading books and chatting
in their bed. I can be naked and oiled up
when he comes home from work, and he'll kiss me
on the forehead, pat me on the butt, and say
something stupid like you're gonna get grease all over the couch.
I wondered if he isn't sexually attracted to me, but
(02:43):
he assured me that he is. He's insisting there's no
problem and I need to calm myself and focus on
other things. I'm not trying to focus on any other man,
and I am being patient. Am I wrong to want
to make love to my husband? Come on, absolutely not.
You're not wrong for desiring something that should be very
(03:03):
natural in a marriage. I mean marriage is hard with sex,
so marriage with no sex or hardly any sex ever,
has to be extremely challenging for you. The question is, though,
why not? Why doesn't he want to have sex, especially
when he said he is attracted to you? Could that
be a lie? I don't know. I mean he's not
(03:25):
doing it, He's not acting on what he says, so
I mean some people do have low sex drives just
like others have high sex drives. Some people are sexual
sex addicts. There's treatment for sexual addiction. So I say,
you guys need to find out about his low sex drive.
I'm not a doctor or anything like that, but I'm
sure someone can tell you if there's something wrong with
(03:48):
him medically. The issue is probably going to be, you know,
to get him to go to the doctor, because from
the sound of it, he doesn't think there's a problem.
I mean, didn't you say you he told you to
calm down and focus on other things. That was jry,
just very dismissive. You know, what other things are you
supposed to focus on when you want to have sex
(04:11):
with your husband. I mean, he's not hearing you at
this point. He's not taking the time to deal with
the very basic needs of his wife. This is no
way to start a marriage. And I'm sure you know
that this is something that we shouldn't even have to
be talking about right now because you guys are newly
weds and you're only twenty seven, you've been together for
(04:31):
seven years. You should be all over each other by now.
You waited until marriage to have sex. I mean, I
just think it's time for some very serious heart to
heart conversations, a trip to the doctor or you know,
and find out what the issue is or I think
you guys are going to be divorced. Steve Twittiest seven
(04:52):
years old. I'm looking back thirty eight years ago. I
was twenty seven years old, embarked on my now famous
and illustrious comedic career at the age of twenty seven.
As our peer back into those years of youth and levity,
(05:20):
I cannot think of anything more important to me than
having sex. It's not come on today at sixty five
the burning yearing consistent desire that it was then, simply
(05:44):
because I have to make money. Now I have businesses
to run. I'm trying to be impactful instead of just pactful.
It was my job solely focused on packing, okay, but
(06:09):
now I'm focused on being impactful. But packing has always
been important, and I ain't talking about lunches either. When
I come back, we'll continue in this same thank you sir.
(06:35):
I don't know what to say. He sounds like a preacher,
but he's talking about packing. I don't know, it's just crazy. Right,
we'll have part two if Steve's response coming up at
twenty three minutes after the hour today Strawberry letters subject
is he's never in the mood. We'll get back into
it right after this. You're listening to show all right,
(06:57):
come on, Steve whatever, Come on and organ twenty seven
years old. Both you and the hoosp brand new married,
(07:20):
been together seven years, waited until we gotting married to
have six How did you do that? That's a minor
miracle statement right now. Most people can't wait till Friday.
(07:41):
You managed until you got married. A man, I couldn't
have waited on the weekend. I couldn't have waited till tomorrow.
Most time, I could hardly wait at all. Somehow, you
man is to wait till you were married. I should
(08:05):
have seen that as a red flag. How to saw
it as a blue flag, black flag, white flag on flag?
How to saw it as all council flags. We are
die hard Christians? That's right. You gonna die hard too. Yeah,
(08:30):
you keep this up, You're not only gonna be die
hard Christians, but you're gonna die hard too. You're leading
up to a hard death. If you ask me, every
day that we live with one step closer to our
final destination. But along the way, I want to create memories.
(08:55):
I want to have things to look back on. I
need few up to continue the journey. I need to
be a tesla. I need to get plugged in. I'm
a refrigerator that need electricity to be cool. And now
(09:15):
you say he's got the total package and he know
what to do. You say you were surprised on your
wed To night and you fail more in love with
him after our first intimate connection. And she says she
wants the connection now, but he's never in the mood.
(09:36):
Listen to this scripture right here. When I met him,
he said, sex has never been a major thing to him.
What who is he? And what is he? To you?
(09:57):
A time? Now take it. My friends feel as there
are pointed duty. They keep trying to tell me all
you want to do is use me. But I can't
seem to get him in the mood. What is going on?
The hell in hell? I told him it was everything
(10:21):
to me as it was with I. Sex was everything,
the only thing, A matter of fact, it was the
leading thing. I considered it my thing. Oh lord, I'm
(10:44):
preaching now. You waited seven years, really, and now you
got to core urge him into being intimate. She goes
on to say, he'll take a shower, put on pajamas
and curled up next to me. In bed. Why would
(11:07):
I already be naked, come out the shower and put
on some hot ass pajamas. Why would I do that
when the whole goal is to get naked. I'm never
in mind, tyle, love making career. Come out the shower naked,
(11:28):
knowing you in now, and I put on some hot
ass pajamas for what? Saying that he wants to talk
about his day, I'm going to wrap up my day.
I'm going to put my day in a box and
put a ribbon on it. He said that's what his
parents did and they got a perfect marriage. I'm twenty seven.
(11:53):
I got to brain heat fried bacon. I got to
let you have it because I got it to give
it to you. It's just sad. I want to total
package you finning, get the whole package. Yeah, I'm sure
they did more than reading books. And nah, here we go.
(12:13):
I can be neked and all up. When he come
home from work, he'll kiss me on the forehead, pat
me on the butt and say something stupid like you're
gonna get grease all over the couch. Let me correct
that statement. You're gonna get me and this grease all
over this here couch. Damn to take your clothes off
and grease up in front of me. I'll tell you what,
(12:35):
You're gonna need more grease, because I'm finna get all
of y'all grease on me. All right? Why are we
trying to address this letter? I don't know those of
this church is now open. Bring your greasy self on
up to the post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter.
(12:57):
It's Steve HARVEFM on Instagram, Faithbook. Check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on demand coming up at forty six minutes
after Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening
to the Dame Harvey Morning Show
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