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March 15, 2024 13 mins

Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm forty years old and married to an older man. He's an entrepreneur and I'm in the insurance field. He's out and about rubbing elbows with big wigs every day, at least that's how he describes his line of work. He dabbles in real estate and he owns a few parking lots and he just acquired another one. When he's at home, he's sleep or he's on his computer. We used to cook at home together and watch movies. That was our thing............................................

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is now time for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com
and we will get your letter and we could be
reading it live on the air, just like we're going
to read this one right here, right now, and you
never know, it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you. Nephew's subject, I don't think my husband likes
black women. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm twenty years old, yeah,
forty years old and married to an older man. He's
an entrepreneur and I'm in the insurance field. He's out
and about rubbing elbows with big wigs every day. At
least that's how he describes his line of work. He
dabbles in real estate and he owns a few parking

(00:48):
lots and he just acquired another one. When he's at home,
he's sleep or he's on his computer. We used to
cook it home together and watch movies. That was our thing.
But over the the holidays, he said that lying around
watching movies is a waste of my time and waste
of my time when I could be spending the time
working on myself. He suggested that I get a hobby

(01:12):
like playing tennis or golfing. I rolled my eyes when
he said it, because I'm not interested in sports. He
told me it was just like a black woman to
cop an attitude and roll my eyes. Lately, he's made
remarks about me not being driven or having ambition. He
said it's a cultural thing and black women like to settle.

(01:32):
I've been at my job for twenty two years. I
can retire in eight years. I love what I do
and I don't want to be self deployed. Saturday, he
asked when I was getting my braids taken out and
getting a more professional hairstyle. He said, if it's not braids,
it's a weave you and these hairstyles. He's also said
my behind is nice now, but as I get older,

(01:54):
I might want to start working out so it doesn't spread.
I usually ignore him, but I went off that day
and he said he expected me to react that way
because black women are so reactive. I think he's got
something against black women, or maybe it's me. I don't
feel comfortable at home anymore? Excuse me, what is going
on with him? Wow? You know what I say this,

(02:20):
When a person lets you know who they are, believe them. Okay,
he's shown you who he is and how he feels
about you and black women, and excuse me, that's who
he is.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Now.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
The one thing that a person should never do is
compare their partner to someone else. And he's being so
nasty about it too, just because you're not doing what
he wants you to do and how he wants you
to do it. Now, all of a sudden, something is
wrong with you now you have an attitude or you're
an angry black woman. It's one thing to get those
type of stereotypes from others, but not from your own,

(02:54):
especially your husband. Come on, you should be angry and hurt.
It's okay that you went off on him. By the
way he's talking to you now. All these comments about
it being a cultural thing and just like black women
to do this or that, and about your braids, they're mean,
they're insensitive. It sounds like he's out and about now.
Like he said, he's meeting new people, women especially, and

(03:16):
he's changed, as people often do in relationships, and he
thinks the grass is greener now on the other side,
just because he's out. Now you say you usually ignore him,
but I say to you, don't ignore him this time.
If you think you need to start taking better care
of yourself, handle that. Take from it what you need

(03:37):
and discard the rest.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
But do it for you.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Do it for you, not for him.

Speaker 3 (03:42):
Steve, Well, I don't know how we keep dancing around
this big white elephant in this room.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
But I can't.

Speaker 3 (03:49):
I don't know what the hell we talking about here,
because you know, ain't nobody mentioned racing this letter, except
for the fact that you said, I don't think my
husband like black women.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
Well, let's wait a minute, where did.

Speaker 3 (04:01):
That come from. Why would you just I don't like
my husband likes black women. Now I read the whole
letter and you never once mentioned who your husband was.
So now what you've done for me is you've allowed
me to open up the door of speculation. I am
free to now read in to this letter what I

(04:24):
want to read into it and read in between the lines. Now,
you ain't saying nothing in this letter about your husband
being black, and you did not mention that your husband
was white. Buddy got white, dude, wrote all over him
in this letter. Nah, you're then married the white dude.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
Now you don discover you don't like your black ass.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Oh, here we go, I said, no, no, no, no, share,
ain't no need to looking at me on your zoom.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
You had your turn.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
I ain't nobody gonna say nothing about this letter but me.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
I'm here for it. Let's begin.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
I'm forty years old and married to an older Man's
a an entrepreneur. I'm in an insurance field. He's out
and about rubbing elbows with big wigs every day. At
least that's how he describes his line of work. He
dabbles in real estate. He owns a few parking lots
and just require another one. When he's at home, he
sleep on his computer. He sleep on his computer. We

(05:18):
used to cook at home together and watch move That
was our thing. But over the holidays, he said, lying
around watching movies, here we go is a waste of
time when I could be spending that time working on myself.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Here is a husband.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
You did not say how old you long you all
were married, But it's gotten to the point where something
is starting to happen. He suggested that I get a
hobby like playing tennis or golfing. That ain't a black request. NASA, NASA.
Very few black men come in the house and go
you need to pick up a hobby like tennis or golfing.

(05:55):
First of all, I don't want my wife play golf.
That's one place I go where I and get away
from everybody for folk five hours, and I don't want
her up there playing no damn golf. Steve went my ball,
How I do this? How I swaying that? Well, I
need some moball, let me use your club. My club's
too long for you. But we're not gonna do that.
So he was the first inkling that you could be
married to a white dude. He suggested that you go

(06:18):
play tennis or golf. Now, it's a lot of blacks
to play tennis and golf, So I don't want to
make you think that lie to black tennis players, good
ones too, A lot of good black golfers. I play golf.
I'm not a good one, but I play. Oh, I
think I understand. In fact, can I tell you what
I'm thinking about?

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour, we'll
have more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show. We'll have
part two of this strawberry letter. The subject is, I
don't think my husband likes black women. Right after this,
you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve,
let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is I don't
think my husband likes.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
Black Now for this woman to say this, y'all and
then not tell us whether her husband was black, white, Latino,
anything like that, all it leaves is a letter of speculation.
So all I could do is dig into it my
way and read between the lines. Now they don't watch TV,
no more movies and cook together. So now over the holidays,

(07:22):
he told her, you could be better spending your time
working on yourself. Okay, so somebody's getting disgruntled nowhere. He's
out dabbling and working out in the field, like you say,
and now he's starting to meet some different kind of people.
I think he suggested that I get a hobby like
playing tennis or golfing. A lot of black people play tennis,
a lot of people play golf. The Black Enterprise Golf

(07:44):
and Tennis Classic used to be one of my favorite
events to a tend. I used to love going down there,
hanging out with them bushy as black people. I really did, man,
because they was all in corporate America, everybody me. But
they asked me not to come back down there. One
time I said something at American Airlines event that didn't
go really.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
Really it is he is about the letter.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
It's about the Black Enterprise Golf of Tennis Clack, which
was excellent, excellent, excellent, brother Earl Graves and his vision
with outstanding for that miss him dearly anyway. Uh, then
you said said I'm not interested in poor. Then he said,
he told me it was just like a black woman,
the coppy attitude and roll my eye. You should have said, oh,

(08:27):
like your mama. But then you didn't say that cause
his mama white. See that, I know comebacks in this
letter that I know snappy comebacks. That's why I'm thinking
the lady is thrown off because she married. She thought
she married a well rounded person that didn't see race
or color. But it's starting to show up in this letter.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Lately.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
He's made remarks about me not being driven and having
an ambition. He said, it's a cultural thing, and black
women like to settle what black woman are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (08:58):
Dog?

Speaker 3 (08:58):
Cause that ain't who i'd have met. They some of
the hardest scrappers and hustlers I've ever met my life.
Black women. You talk about somebody that can pick up
the ball and run with it. You talking about somebody
know how to hold it down, you know how, someone
you know how, somebody know how to put it all
together and make it work.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
That's black women.

Speaker 3 (09:15):
Yes, all of a sudden, his thing is it's just
like a black woman copper attitude and roll away. And
then he said it's a cultural thing. Black women like
to settle. How does a cultural thing? I'm getting confused
in this letter. I've been on my job twenty two years.
I could retire in eight. I love what I do
and I don't want to be self employed. Saturday, he

(09:36):
asked if I was getting my braids taken out and
getting a more professional hairstyle. Oh okay, okay, oh okay.
Oh you went down there and saw the little movie
Bobbie hunh. All right, Oh now you on long straight hair? Okay,
he said. If it's not braids, it's a weave you

(09:56):
and these halfstyles. He's also said my behind is nice now,
but as I get old, I might wanna start working out,
so it don't spread I yousally ignore him.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
But I went off that.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
Day and he said he expected me to act that
way cause black women are so reacting.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
I don't understand this letter. I just really really don't.
I don't really give it. Damn, if your husband black
or white, I don't like him. I don't like you
sitting there talking about it. But what should he?

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Don't you think if he was white? She would have
said that, though, that's.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
What I think.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
But see nah th but but okay, but well no,
not necessarily.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Mm.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
I would think she would say he was white, but
she didn't. Yeah, But then she says, I don't think
my husband like black women.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
He got a mama and he married you.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
So I'm s I'm a little stuck on this, but
I'm I'm it's something else to this letter, I really am.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
And that's what I think. We don't know if we
got a white letter.

Speaker 3 (10:49):
I think he's got something against black women, or maybe
it's me. See that's what makes me. I think he
got some against black women, or maybe it's just me.
I I see it. This sounds like I don't feel
comfortable at home anymore. What that's what made me think
it's white dude that now I don't feel comfortable at
home anymore, because the only way this can work is

(11:12):
one of these two things. All I can gather from
this letter is this right here, that she's either tired
he's tired of her, yes, or or in his business
is lying of work. He's been running around meeting all
types of these new people, and now he said, Wow,

(11:33):
what I got at the house ain't all.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
That after all? Braids?

Speaker 3 (11:39):
Your body gonna spread? Hell, you know, maybe all that round,
But I really don't care y'all if he black or white? Right,
if you married the white dude, not now his true
colors then came out. And if you married a black dude,
leave him.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
Why he's real Hollywood.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yeah, he's a brand, I mean, but I'm leaving the
white dude or the black dude.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
It just don't sound like this is relationship.

Speaker 3 (12:08):
You need to stay like like like your butt is
okay right now, but as you get old, it may spread.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
But she's right, it doesn't sound like he likes black women.
Black or white, it doesn't matter. It doesn't sound like
this man likes her anymore, or.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
It's an anti black So all of a sudden, you
came to this.

Speaker 3 (12:30):
See, I don't really know if it's a black dude
all white dude, but I know you don't need to
be with him.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:37):
Amen to that? All right?

Speaker 3 (12:45):
Thank you, Steve, put my butt in a box, kiss it,
don't miss a corner.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram at
Steve Harvey FM, and check us out on the Strawberry
Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Free never sounded
so good coming up next to his junior and sports talk.
Right after this, you're listening to Dave Harvey Morning Show
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