Motivational And Manipulating Man

Dear Steve and Shirley, I'm married to a man that calls himself a preacher without a church. I call him a motivational manipulator. He goes on Facebook and says he's a prophet, and he sees stuff differently than anyone else. He said he can sense when our dog has indigestion. Everyone in our house can sense it too, because we can smell it, but we humor my husband. He tries to spook our kids into not doing things that he doesn't agree with. My daughter wants to be a Majorrette at her school, and my husband made up a statistic about girls not getting accepted into good schools if they had been shaking their booties in high school...................................... 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter at Steve HARBFM dot com
by clicking submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your
letter live on the air, just like we're going to
read this one right here, right now, and you never know,
it could be yours.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.
We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you, nephew. Subject motivational and manipulating man. Dear Stephen Shirley.
I'm married to a man that calls himself a preacher
without a church. I call him a motivational manipulator. He
goes on Facebook and says he's a prophet, and he
sees stuff differently than anyone else. He said he consents

(00:47):
when our dog has indigestion. Everyone in our house can
sense it too, because we can smell it, but we
humor my husband. He tries to spook our kids into
not doing things that he doesn't agree with. My daughter
wants to be a majorrette at her school, and my
husband made up a statistic about girls not getting accepted

(01:07):
into good schools if they had been shaking their booties
in high school. The worst thing he did recently has
made me ready to pack up and move out. I
found out he had been talking to his ex and
giving her advice on her current relationship. She was telling
him things like she's lonely because her new husband goes
days without talking to her and that gives her anxiety.

(01:30):
She said she's insecure because he hasn't had sex with
her in three weeks. My sweet manipulative hobby offered to
comfort her by having sex with her to restore her confidence,
and it was all in the DNS. I read it all.
Now she feels bad for cheating on her husband, but

(01:50):
my husband is stuck on stupid. When I asked him
about the cheating, he said the sex meant nothing to
him and it was intended to be therapeutic for her.
Does he really think that or is he hoping I'm
stupid enough to allow that. Does he need to talk
to someone or is he aware of what he's doing?

(02:15):
Can you believe this? Yeah? I can believe it because
he did it, And yeah, but I do think he
thinks you would fall for something like this. I really do,
because he did it, and you did, you're writing us.
I mean, he's a selfish, manipulative, controlling man, like you said,

(02:37):
who truly believes that he is just that good. He
can justify everything he does. That's why he told you
the truth about him sleeping with her. He thinks that
whatever he does is okay and you'll just have to
deal with it. And so far you've been doing that.
You know, he thinks because it's him and he's got
it like that. But the point is you don't have

(02:57):
to deal with it or take any of this crap.
Why are you taking it? Why are you dealing with this?
I mean, in what world is it acceptable for a
husband to sleep with someone because she feels insecure? And
he did it because it's therapeutic for her? He said,
come on, now, nowhere is it acceptable? And that's beyond

(03:19):
stupid for him to think so, and for you to
even be accepting this. He simply wanted to have sex
with her and she wanted him to. That's why she
told him she was lonely and all that. So now
what are you gonna do? That's the question, because obviously
all his ex has to do is give him a
SOB story and your husband is back in bed consoling her,

(03:41):
giving her therapy. This is a mess, and this is really, really,
really stupid. Steve.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
You say this subject is about a motivational and manipulating man, Okay,
when really this letter should be about something else. The
subject that is letters should be did Steven Shirley, What
is wrong with me? That should be the name of
this damn letter? What is wrong with me? Now? You're

(04:10):
married to a man that calls himself a preacher, but
he not a preacher. He ain't got no church. He
on Facebook, he say your prophet. He say stuff differently
than anybody else. That's true, he says. He consists when
our dog has indigestion. That's true because everybody in the

(04:30):
house house can too, because you can smell it. He
tries to spook our kids in the not doing stuff.
Your daughter want to be a major red at school.
My husband made us a static about girls not being
accepted into good schools that shake their booties in high school. Dog,
she a major red. She's a major red. It's okay.

(04:55):
It's okay. She can still go to college and have
been a major red. It's okay.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
In college, that's okay. Dog, answering that.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, they're gonna have that in college too, They're gonna
have a dance squad. All that. What's wrong? But what's
wrong with this lady? The worst thing he did was
was he made me pack up. He got you ready
to pack up and move out because he had been
talking to it. Now, this is where the letter really
got confusing to me. She said, the worst he did

(05:28):
recently has me ready to pack up and move out.
I found out he's been talking to his ex giving
her advice on her current relationship. She was telling them
things like she lonely because her husband go days without
talking to her, insecure because they ain't had sex in

(05:49):
three weeks. Then this is what her letter says, My
sweet malipative husband offered to comfort her by having sex
with her to restore her confidence, and it was all
in the deal. I read it all, did she jumped
to Now she feel bad for cheating on her husband,
which means they had sex. Yeah, but my husband is

(06:11):
stuck on stupid. Your husband is stuck on stupid. When
I asked him about the cheating, he said this sex
meant nothing to him, and it was intended to be
therapeutic for her good Lord Almighty. This is when lion
has taped see this. This is what people who lie

(06:32):
give us that know how to lie or bad name.
This is the word show.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
You're mad at the lie? All right, hang on, we'll
have part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty
three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters subject motivational
and manipulating man. We'll get back into it right after this.
You're listening hard morning show. All right, Come on, Steve,
let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is motivation and

(07:00):
manipulating man.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
The dialute's letter should be what the hell is wrong
with me? And we found out her husband claims to
be a prophet. He's not. He claims to be psychic
to be able to see stuff. He does it. He
makes up stories to keep your daughter from being a
major read by telling her she can't get into a
good school being a majorrette. Okay, what's wrong with you?

(07:25):
They have majorrets in college anyway. The thing that's got
this lady ready to pack up and move out, though,
is he'd been talking to his ex, and she had
been complaining that she's distant from her husband because sometimes
he don't talk to her, and they haven't had sex
in three weeks, and now that's making her insecure. So

(07:47):
to help out, she said, my sweet malipitive husband offered
to comfort her by having sex with her to restore
her confidence. And it was all in the DMS. I
read it all. Now she feels bad for cheating on
her husband, which means they had sex. And he said
the sex ment when you asked him about the cheating,
asked him, asked you read it all in the DMS,

(08:13):
Then you wanted to asked him about He said the
sex meant nothing to him, and it was intended to
be therapeutic for her. See, this is when people who
lie give those of us who use lies for for
for real purposes, you give us a bad name because

(08:37):
what you're gonna have to say, yeah, we have to
have a real purpose this lie. You told you you
overdoing it, You overstated the lie, didn't put no thought
into it.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
He said it was for you know, therapeutic reasons. He
did say that.

Speaker 2 (08:58):
When she come in and asked you about she not
accuse you, but ask you about it. Ask is your out?
Your whole thing should be I never had sex with her.
I don't know who got my phone. I don't know who,
and I don't even know who DM is. He is?

(09:19):
Is that Donovan Mitchell? See, I'll say anything.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
Athlete, But anyway, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
Does he really think that? Or is hoping that I'm
stupid enough to allow that? Wait a minute, does he
really think that? If he thought that, that's crazy And
for you to be saying hoping you allow it, that's crazy.
Does he need to talk to someone? Talk to who?
He don't need no therapist? Does he need to talk

(09:50):
to him someone? Or is he aware of what he's doing? What?
Don't it sound like he aware?

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Yes, he is, very much.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
And then her question is can you believe is I
can't believe you wrote the letter in and ask him?
Does he need help? And is he really aware of this?
That's what I'm surprised that, ma'am. Listen to me. Let
me just tell you this right here is not even
an issue as to whether he's cheating or not, because
he didn't even deny the cheating. See, I can't help

(10:22):
you if you want to deny it, I'll ride with you.
But you admitted to cheating and said the sex meant nothing,
it was therapeutic for her. What about your marriage though,
What about this woman you married to now that she
found out? Where is the comforting words to her?

Speaker 1 (10:44):
He's trying to help people, Steve. He's trying to help
people by having sex with them. That's what he's That's
what he's doing, trying to help them. It doesn't mean
anything to him.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
That's what he's saying. I'm listening.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
He's trying to help people. It was therapeutic for her.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Uh yeah, yeah, I read that. I read that where.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
You're ashamed of him as a man.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed for the other men out there
who are going to have to lie for the remainder
of the year, and this type of stuff is out there.
This is why women don't believe nothing we say because
of dudes like this. When you make up such an
unbelievable lie for those of us that need lies, you

(11:45):
hurt us. It's like when people false life accused of
falsely claimed to be a victim and they not. This
man is using a lie in it'll reverse. This is
called in appropriate lie application.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Do you hear yourself?

Speaker 2 (12:09):
This is iller There's a new foundation called I L
A is like I S. This is the Illegal Illegal
Lying Association. And what we're going to do is we're
gonna start coaching. I'm gonna have a coaching on how
to lie, how to lie and why to lie? Uh?

Speaker 1 (12:30):
How to lie? Okay, Like, what what are you gonna do?
For instance?

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Give me ask me my question, any question. I don't
care what it is anything.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
What's the weather going to be like today?

Speaker 2 (12:41):
It's gonna snow today, Reue, I know. Watch this though,
See how balance you are? Yes? What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (12:56):
It's gonna snow?

Speaker 2 (12:57):
All right?

Speaker 1 (12:58):
Listen link your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve
Harvey FM and check us out on the Strawberry Letter
podcast on the Free iHeartRadio app where free never sounded
so good. Well, coming up, Junior is out, So guess
who's going to fill in for him today? The One
and Only Nephew with stores talk. Right after this, watch me.

(13:18):
You're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show