My Ex Was On My Couch

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
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(00:21):
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got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew.
Subject my ex was on my couch. Dear Stephen Shirley.
I'm in my mid thirties and I got divorced a
year ago and I was getting over my ex husband

(00:41):
and I had started dating someone new. I got the
house and the divorce, so my ex did not have
a problem with that until he found out I was
dating a man that's way more handsome and put together
than he's ever been. He got jealous and started texting
me things about the man being over to my house
all night, and he said it wasn't a good look.

(01:02):
I blocked his cell number and I blocked him on
social media, but our mutual friends kept him in the
loop about every little thing I did with the new guy.
It got messy, but I was only focused only on
this new guy and losing weight because he is so fine.
One of my girls popped by one evening and my
new man was painting the kitchen with his shirt off.

(01:25):
She went and spread that bit of tea, and then
my ex husband started writing by my house. He sent
a message to me through my sister saying we need
to talk about selling the house. This is my house,
so I knew that was alive. I thought avoiding him
would make him go on with his life, but it
only made him try harder to get to me. When

(01:46):
I got home Thursday, his car was parked out front
and my front door was opened. I called my sister
to tell her that he was there, and she encouraged
me to go inside and talk to him. I found
him sitting on the couch crying. He pulled me close
to him and he apologized for cheating and said he

(02:07):
can't stand to see me with another man. I've waited
for that apology for almost two years. He said he
will never stop loving me. My heart melted. We made love,
and then he asked for a second chance. To get
things right. Is he being sincere or is he doing
all of this because he is jealous? Well, of course

(02:30):
he's doing all of this because he's jealous. I mean,
you know, it's getting back to him that you got
a new man and he's fine and all of that.
But yeah, he's jealous. But he didn't think about any
of this when he was out there cheating on you,
now did he? But now since you've moved on with
your life with this fine man, you're enjoying your life now,
you're happy. Now your ex realizes how much he missed

(02:53):
you and everything. It's been a year since you guys
got the divorce and everything, so he's had time to
think about what he's lost. I'm sure he has regrets.
But guess what he did this. He broke up the family,
he broke up the home. We all know. Life is
about changes. We know that, and the wrong decision. Life

(03:14):
is about choices. I should say, the wrong decision can
affect you for the rest of your life. And clearly
your ex didn't make the right choice and he acted
stupidly when he cheated. I mean, that's obvious. My suggestion is,
if you want to move on, would be to put
the house on the market and sell it. Okay, just

(03:34):
like your husband suggested, move away, start over if you can.
Your ex won't let you have any peace. You see
that in this house you two used to share, because
he just can't stand the sight of another man in
what he thinks is still his home. The other thing is,
please keep all these other people out of your business, please,
the sisters, the friends, all of that. They can't just

(03:57):
be popping up. They know where you live. You know
that would be a good reason to sell it too.
They're running back telling your X what's going on now?
He's asking for another chance. So it boils down to
does he deserve a second chance after what he did
to you? Will you ever be able to forgive him
and trust him again? Most importantly, do his words lined
up line up with his actions? If the answer to

(04:19):
any of these questions is no, then no, move on,
Continue to move on with your life, Steve. Well, my
ex is on my couch. This is really borderline dangerous
a little bit, but I'm gonna give you my honest opinion.
And here it is. You and your mid thirties. You

(04:42):
got divorced a year ago. You was getting over your
ex he started dating somebody knew you got the house
and the divorce. X didn't have problem with that till
he found out I was dating a man that was
way more handsome and put together than he has ever been. Okay,
Jack Pott, So now you have moved on and found

(05:03):
something actually better. But you gotta understand how busy the
devil is, and I'm gonna show you that in this letter.
So now he got jealous and started texting me things
about the man being over my house all night, and
he said it wasn't a good look. It wasn't a
good look to who. It ain't a good look to him,

(05:23):
It ain't a good look for him. Why it ain't
a good look? Why because he got all these spies
out of here. You're a divorce it's been over a year.
But let me explain something to you. It's actually been
more than a year. The divorce is just the date
that the courts give you. The marriage was over before that.

(05:46):
It just took y'all time to get the old Kate
finalization from the court. Y'all had been stopped being all
right with each other long time before that. So it's
really been way more than a year. I blocked his
sale number, I blocked him on social media, but our
mutual friends kept him in the loop about loop, about

(06:07):
every little thing I did with this new guy. Now,
I want you to understand something we're saying our mutual
friends because they ain't your friends. Them is his friends.
There are not. They're not your friend's sister. It got messy,
but I was only focused on the new guy and
losing weight. Because he's so fine. You better go good,

(06:30):
go on and get your life right. You got a
man that's helping you improve yourself. You got a chance
to be happy. When I come back, I'll tell you direct.
All right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of
your responds coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.
Today's Strawberry letter title my ex was on my couch.
We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening,

(06:54):
all right, Come on, Steve. Let's recap today's Strawberry letter.
The subject my ex was on my couch? What you
got a divorce from your ex husband? Why you got
a divorce? I don't know. He cheated, I understand later on,
but he'd been doing you wrong for a while. You've
been divorced for over a year. That's just the legal

(07:15):
moment that the courts allotted. Your marriage was over long
before that. So it's been over two years probably since
you've been out there in the dating game. So you
got out there, you've met somebody where you finding your
husband and he ever been and you and your husband
is jealous, started telling you stuff about the man, and
it wasn't a good look. It ain't a good look

(07:35):
for who man. Stop letting people put their insecurities and
ill feelings on you. And why you got it's a
bad it's not a good look for food. And then
so you blocked him cell number, you blocked him on
social media. But then your mutual friends kept him in
the loop about every little thing I did with the
new guy. Those are not your mutual friends. Stop looking

(07:57):
at that them haters. And the devil has been is
he man? The devil use a lot of people to
get his way. So the devil don't want you to
be happy. The devil don't want you to see this
new blessing because I tell people all the time to
break up is often the blessing. But to get you
not to see it, now here the devil come with
all these tricks, and now you said, you know you've

(08:17):
only been focused on this new guy and losing weight
because he's so fine. One of my girls popped by
one or even then my new man was painting to
kitchen with a shirt off. She would and spread that
bit of tea. And then my ex husband started riding
by my house. Okay. He sent a message to me
through my sister saying, we need to talk about selling
the house. Selling the house. Why once again something to

(08:41):
benefit him. It's not a good look. It's not a
good look to him. We need to think about selling
the house. This is my house. We ain't selling sugar
honey tea. That's what we ain't doing. I wish I would, man,
you're gonna give up your asset and carried with him
like it's a week. No, no, sister, he keeps dropping

(09:05):
this guilt on you like he got right. He gave
up them rights when he gave up his manner. So
I knew that was a lie. I thought avoiding him
would make him go on with his life, but only
made him try harder to get to me. But why though,
See you know what somebody told me one time, the
finest woman in the world. Is your ex on the

(09:26):
arms of another man, boomerang, Grandmama, the finest woman in
the world. It's your ex on the arms of another man.
And now hear his ass come, we're selling the house.
We do know it's your house. Why would you say

(09:46):
all house for what? That's your asset? You know you
got your new man paying the stitching with your shirt off.
When I got home Thursday, his car was parked out
in the front of my front door was open. I
called my sister to tell her that he he was there,
and she encouraged me to go inside and talk to her.
What now you go inside to talk to her? I

(10:07):
found him on the couch. Crime. Where was all them
tears when he was over the other chicks happening? What
was all them tears? And divorce court? Seeing court man,
they'll give you a chance to rethink the divorce. They
will ask you if this is what you really want
to do? But what no tears? Then yeah, let me
get on out of here. I got some things I

(10:27):
got to do. He pulled me close to him and
he apologized for cheating and said he can't stand to
see me with another man. I told you that I've
waited for that apology for almost two years. Here week ago,
I've waited for that apology for almost two years. I
told you wasn't just a year this marriage been on.

(10:49):
I've waited on that apology for two years. Why would
it take a person who is kind hearted two years
to apologize? And what is this? What is this closure
that women always want? See? You just wanted some closure?
Now here he come with this apology that you've been

(11:10):
waiting for for two years. He said he would never
stop loving me. I know, okay, cool, my heart melted.
We made love and then he asked for a second
chance to get things right. Is he being sincere or
is he doing all this because he jealous? He jealous?
He jealous? Yeah, he regret losing you. I bet he'd

(11:32):
do because you know, jumped over that fist out that
grass was green, but only see the only reason that
grass look greener on the other side because you stop
watering the grass on your side, So now you don't
want over there, and found out that day they weren't
number a bunch of tricks in the first place. Now
you want your real girl back, you know, I would
be curious what would happen system in your mid thirties,

(11:56):
if you would share all this information with your current boyfriend,
just share the information with him. He may have a
plan for you this way better than this fool ever had.
You May be you may you may have a blessed
right in your house, and now you're fitting to mess
up and listen to this fool right here. If I

(12:16):
were you, before I make a decision to go back
to your ex husband who divorced you, always remember why
you got the divorce in the first place and what
has changed since the well, what has changed since then?
If I were you, I would sit down and have
this discussion with my new man and see what his
intents are before I go back to this mood. Just

(12:37):
don't sound good. To meet those sisters. It's really talking,
all right. Thank you. Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry
Letter on Instagram at Steve Harvey FM and check out
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