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June 20, 2024 13 mins

Dear Steve and Shirley, I've been married for four years and I just had my first child at age forty. My husband has two children from a previous marriage. When I came home with the baby, he had his two children at my house and it was a mess. His son is fourteen and his daughter is eleven. My husband said they're not used to cleaning up, so he would get to it. His entitled children have a housekeeper at their main home with their mom so they don't have to lift a finger. I didn't speak to him for days because the house was filthy, and he shouldn't have me and our newborn daughter come home to filth. I told his ex wife that she should start now. It's not too late to give the kids basic chores around the home........................

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HAARVEFM dot com
and click submit Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
We could be reading your letter live on the.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Air, just like we're going to read this one right here,
right now, and you never know, it could be yours.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
It could be yours. Muggle up, hold on tight, We
got it for you. Here it ease, Strawberry Letter.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Thank you for you subject My House, My rules. Dear
Stephen Shirley, I've been married for four years and I
just had my first child at age forty. My husband
has two children from a previous marriage. When I came
home with the baby, he had his two children at
my house and it was a mess. His son is
fourteen and his daughter is eleven. My husband said they're

(00:48):
not used to cleaning up, so he would get to it.
His entitled children have a housekeeper at their main home
with their mom so they don't have to lift a finger.
I didn't speak to him for days because the house
was filthy, and he shouldn't have me and our newborn
daughter come home to filth. I told his ex wife
that she should start now. It's not too late to

(01:08):
give the kids basic chores around the home. She agreed,
but she said the children complain when they're tired or
want to be with their friends instead of cleaning up.
I wasn't that concerned about what goes on at her house,
but I told her they need to be ready to
keep my house clean when they're visiting us. Then she
got testy and said they're not visiting, they live at

(01:29):
my house too. I reminded her that her ex husband
moved into my home, so they are still guests in
my home when they come over. She called my husband,
and I was irritated that he even took the time
to hear her out, and even more irritated that he
said he was offended by what I told his ex wife.
I told him that by all means, his children are welcome,

(01:50):
but it's still my home and all of my household
rules apply, so the kids will be cleaning up behind
themselves over here. Why are he and his ex one
against instilling the values of cleanliness and their kids. Am
I out of line for how I want to run
my house? Help me understand, all right? I blame your
husband for this mess. I really do and know you're

(02:11):
not wrong. The kids should know how to at least
clean up after themselves eleven and fourteen, Even if they
do have a housekeeper at their mom's house, they should
know the basics, and that's on the parents to teach them.
You're also right that at eleven and fourteen, it's not
too late to teach them just the basic stuff. Your
husband dropped the ball, and his ex resents what you

(02:32):
said about her precious messy babies. She does, yes her house,
but if her ex husband is living there with the kids,
it's all of you guys's house, and you have rules
that were in place before all of them got there.
Your husband should not only side with you against her,
but he shouldn't want his brand new baby to come
home to a nasty house. I mean, what sense does

(02:55):
that make. All is not lost because you said they
are welcome. You and your husband need to be on
the same page though. That's the only way your planning
to give them chores, and I'm sure it's going to
be light chores. That's the only way it's gonna work.
They need to learn to respect their home wherever it is,
if it's with their mom if it's at your house

(03:16):
with their dad, and for that you need your husband's support.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
So hopefully he'll give it to you. Hopefully he'll give
it to you.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Tommy, all right, y'all know how I am about cleansiness.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
So I'm gonna say this.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
Yes, cleansiness next to god lindliness. Yes, yes, my own creations.
I hate to say this, and then I don't know.
I don't think I'm being petty. You need to leave
his nasty ass. That's what you need to do. I'm sorry,

(03:55):
I am sorry. He nasty, the kids is nasty. Wife
is nasty. And if your new baby get around any
of them, your baby girl gonna be nasty. You need
to get out while you can. You farty. You forty
years old. You ain't got time to raise these damn kids.
At forty you got you got a brand new babe.
This is your first child. You ain't got time to

(04:16):
deal with these other two kids. They nasty. Okay, so
we can we can try this if you want. And
the problem I really got he offended. He offended by
the way you talk to his ex wife. I don't care.
I think you need to get out of this relationship.
That's what I think. I'm sorry if you call me petty,
if you want to call me petty, You're not gonna

(04:37):
be able to change these kids, because guess what, they
don't want to change their children. They don't want to
change their children. They are letting their children do whatever
they want. They raising them that way. You're not gonna
be able to do it. Just when the times that
they come over to your house, and you already saying,
when they come over here, they're gonna have to do this,
do this, and that. He gonna fight you on it,
the kids gonna fight you on it. The mama gonna
be over there tripping from across the way. You do

(04:57):
not have time. You are forty, Get out night, you
and your baby, get out, put these people out your house,
change your locks, and be done with it. That's what
I'm saying. We got to get a divorce and get
these people out of it. We can't do nasty. Well, I
just I don't do nasty. We got to get them
out of this house.

Speaker 4 (05:13):
We do not.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
They don't live here no more. Let's get a divorce
from this man, start over, have your child, raise your
baby by yourself, and get you. Get you what surely,
surely we can't. We just not finding out how nasty.
His asked, Well, we didn't know it. We didn't know it.
But as soon as we came home from the hospital,
these kids in told this house up. And he ain't
helped do nothing either. So what we finna do.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
We got to get rid of this man. This man
got to go.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
Your relationship ain't finna be the same he fins to.
He finds to be nasty more than what you thought.
Now it's all coming out. See one thing I learned
about nasty. You can't hold it back. It's gonna show up.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
It do. You can't. You can't.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
You can't keep nasty down. Nasty gonna show up, whether
it's in the bathroom, the garage, the kitchen and these
kids been room. Nasty gonna show up every single time
you It ain't long. It ain't like you can't suppress nasty.
It's gonna show up. So all you gotta do, baby,
is get your mind together and say you know what, Tommy,
Tommy is right, I'm finna give my baby. We're finna

(06:14):
put these people out of our house. And that's it.
If you want to stick to sit there and deal
with it. All I can say is, whoop everybody ass.
You gotta whoop these kids ass who their mama as?
Whoop the kids ass who their mama as? If you
want to stay that with it. If you want to
stay that with you gott to whoop everybody ass and
start from scrap.

Speaker 4 (06:29):
Now, I said, get out. That's just me all right?

Speaker 1 (06:33):
All right, Uh, we'll have part two of today's Strawberry Letter.
We'll get some response from Junior coming up at twenty
three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subject my house,
My Rules. We'll get back into it right after this.

Speaker 4 (06:47):
I asked, what becase whoop can't solve everything?

Speaker 5 (06:49):
Okay, you're listening hard Morning show. All right, we're gonna
recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject is my house, my rules.
Forty year old woman wrote in she just had a
baby at the age of forty. She's been married for
four years to her husband, who has two children from
his previous marriage. Now, when this woman came home with

(07:12):
her baby, brand newborn, brand new newborn baby, she came
in the house was filthy. Now you got the husband
and who his two kids eleven and fourteen staying there
they didn't have the sense to clean the house up
when the mom was coming with the new baby.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
So the husband told her that the kids aren't used
to cleaning up, but the husband could have handled it.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
But anyway, she called his children entitled.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
They have a housekeeper at their house, so they don't
clean up over there. The parents didn't teach them to
clean up. But you know, you should know the basics.
She's saying, just basic tourers at home. She's blaming that
on the parents. She called the mom and told her
that her kids should know that, and you know the mom.
The mom got a little irritated because she said that

(08:01):
the kids are messy and they don't, you know, clean
up over there. So she called the husband, her ex husband,
and that irritated the new wife. So she told the husband,
by all means, his children are welcome at the house,
but they got to have some rules. They got to
have some household rules. They need to be cleaning up
after themselves. She can't do that. She got a new

(08:23):
baby and all that. So she wants to know is
she out of line for telling them this is the
way she runs her house. She wants to us to
help her understand junior.

Speaker 6 (08:34):
My whole thing is is no, you're not wrong, No,
not at all.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
No.

Speaker 6 (08:39):
And aswhobbin's work, let's get back to that. Yeah, because
I don't care who kids it is. If you tab
my house, it's meeting coming with it.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (08:49):
And first of all, we talked about cleaning. I clean
well because they beat me into doing it. That's why
I clean so well. I'm telling you right now, every
time I think about this, waking up on AD in
the morning, if I hear Al Green, I automatically started
doing base Boys.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
That's it.

Speaker 6 (09:05):
I'm on baseballs, Bana baringam. I'm scrubbing, grubbling happiness. I
hear that, I'm scrubbing the entire time. If Frankie made
before I let go, I'm on toilets, That's what I'm doing.

Speaker 4 (09:18):
I'm on toilets. Come on, boy.

Speaker 6 (09:20):
By the time I hear the song, I know what
to go clean by the song that come on. Don't
even matter if I hear any Luther, I'm any refrigerator
because all his songs ten minutes. I'm cleaning the refrigerator.

Speaker 4 (09:31):
But the song is ten minutes.

Speaker 6 (09:33):
I know where I was supposed to be by the
song O hear this. What's wrong with these They don't
have no music to help them clean. That's what's wrong.
That's what you need to do.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
Beat them.

Speaker 6 (09:43):
I had no say soul, don't care for you got
to clean it at your house. This ain't your house.
And all the husband got to be is hen pecked.
He's scared of two women. He's hen pecked. How is
you scared of your ex? You ain't even with her
no more.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
As what is wronging with her against the wife?

Speaker 3 (10:01):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (10:01):
Yeah, and the wife is absolutely right. Yeah, stand up
for your house. Don't care about your kids. Come over
here and they don't know how to clean. Beat them,
they gonna learn. I'm telling you, I don't care. If
it's like I don't care, what is it? Tell them,
I don't care what the song is. I knew what
to clean just based.

Speaker 4 (10:17):
On the song. Yes, Freddie Jackson, Jane and Knight.

Speaker 6 (10:20):
I'm cleaning the closet. I'm telling you call them organizing shoes,
putting my clothes back on hangers.

Speaker 4 (10:29):
I know what to do.

Speaker 6 (10:31):
I don't understand this with this lady here, you got
a brand new baby. The baby could get sick of anything.

Speaker 4 (10:37):
In this fifth Yeah, Yeah, you know who can't take
no more? Junior? Who that cleaning lady at that other house.
She can't take no more.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
She can't take you know that.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
She just can't take it no more anyway.

Speaker 6 (10:55):
Yeah, but time that clean lady dogs, you know you
gotta She tried to finding draws in the middle of
the floor, all that socks everywhere everything. The kids here
are just unruly. Yeah, and no, they don't live there.
They're visiting the mother. Exactly right, those kids visit here.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
When we were at our mama house, I Mama, let
us know your own nothing.

Speaker 4 (11:13):
He don't own.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
That's right they did.

Speaker 4 (11:17):
There ain't no rights in here. It was just a
free form of slavery.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
That's what they did to us.

Speaker 4 (11:22):
Day after that, right after, Yeah, day after it was
a free formal slave. It's exactly what it was.

Speaker 3 (11:30):
I know.

Speaker 4 (11:31):
You ain't slamming no dose up in Okay, we couldn't
do it.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
We could not do a dough. We could not do it. Yeah,
there ain't no no dough. Right.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
She's not out of line for how she wants to
run her own house. Her husband moved in with her
in her house.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
Life is still.

Speaker 3 (11:49):
Me.

Speaker 4 (11:49):
I don't like that. He weak.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, Now stick with her.

Speaker 6 (11:52):
I'm gonna have a lot of ways to discipline us,
like you you know, like like eating the air sandwiches.

Speaker 4 (11:56):
That was real. You didn't need, you didn't eat. If
you ain't clean, you ain't eating.

Speaker 6 (12:00):
Oh mom, get you an ass sandwich and go see
down what's the ass sandwich?

Speaker 4 (12:03):
You got it right now? You know what she ought
to do.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
When the kids come in from school, put their water
holes on the ass in the driveway. Just start cleaning
the airs down right there.

Speaker 4 (12:10):
Start treasure washing. We're going to wash at the kid. Yes,
we finish. Get y'all.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Y'all gonna get cleaned round here after June teen. I'm
sorry were holding them.

Speaker 4 (12:22):
I'm sorry. I'm bad.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
I'd be dashy. But she's right.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
At eleven and fourteen, they can still learn how to clean.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
They can still learn the basics. And if she wants
to teach him at her house, that's exactly.

Speaker 6 (12:38):
What Shirley, Shirley, I cleaned my fridge my first baseboard
at too, did not at two.

Speaker 4 (12:45):
I started cleaning that to baseboards was at two.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Poster you're coming some today, Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey
f I'm on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry
Letter podcast on the free iHeart Radio app Free Never
Sounded So Good. You can download it today. Sports Talk
with Junior are coming up next right after this.

Speaker 4 (13:02):
Bring that comment and that pine or pine in him

Speaker 1 (13:04):
And put that passifile back in your You're listening to
the Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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Host

Shirley Strawberry

Shirley Strawberry

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