May 26, 2023 • 13 mins
Dear Steve and Shirley, I was a single and attractive, 34 year old woman, losing hope at finding love. I grew tired of the dating cycle and I decided that I would not have sex again until I was married. I prayed and practiced celibacy and a year later, I met the man of my dreams. He is handsome, educated, gainfully employed and he loves the Lord. I fell hard for this man and a year after we met, we got married. I was so excited for my wedding night because it would be our first time making love. He is blessed with the proper equipment, but it’s his skillset that’s lacking..................
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right time now, guys for today's Strawberry Letter, and
if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Muggle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is the Strawberry Letters.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Thank you, nephew.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Subject number two will never be number one.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Dear Stephen Shirley.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I was a single and attractive thirty four year old
woman losing hope at finding love. I grew tired of
the dating cycle and I decided that I would not
have sex.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Again until I was married.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I prayed and practiced celibacy, and a year later I
met the man of my dreams. He is handsome, educated,
gainfully employed, and he loves the Lord. I fell hard
for this man, and a year after we met, we
got married. I was so excited for my wedding night
because it would be our first time making love. He
(01:05):
is blessed with the proper equipment, but it's his skill
set that's lacking. On our wedding night, I had the
absolute worst sexual experience I've ever had. It was four
minutes from start to finish. Then he passed out and
slept like he has showed out. Since then, he's been
(01:26):
overly confident, and he's not as attentive and loving as
when we met. Six months into the marriage, I ran
into an old friend from college and he had some
dental work done and it made a world of difference
in his appearance. We had lunch and we talked for hours.
He said that when I got married, it broke his
(01:46):
heart because he's always had a big crush on me,
but didn't think I'd give him the time of day.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Well, I've given him a lot more than that. I'm
falling for this man.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Because he has given me his whole heart, and he
holds me after sex, kisses my nose, and looks into
my soul when he talks to me. I'm ready to
get a divorce and date my boyfriend for a while.
I want to be happy, and so far, this guy
could be my soulmate. Steve says that number two will
(02:17):
never be number one, So I want your opinion on
my situation. What if this time there is an exception
to the rule.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Could this be true love? Wow? Well, by exception to
the rule.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You mean he's your number two, right, and you're thinking
of making him number one, replacing your husband with him.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Could this be true love?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
You ask, well, I don't know about that. I don't
know if love has anything to do with this. I
do think lust is all over this situation, though, I do.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
And instead of.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
And would you say, Steve, oh oh oh, sorry, I
thought it was see.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah, I don't say stupid stuff out of.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Nowhere, Okay, okay, And you're right about that. And I
should have known better, because you.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Know, you uh, you know, you talked in the beginning
of your letter how you grew tired, you decided you
wouldn't have sex again, you started losing hope and finding love,
and then you met this great man, the man of
your dreams, and six months into your marriage you've already
cheated on him. Instead of trying to fix your new
(03:30):
marriage and fight for it, you haven't done that at all.
I mean, I think you've checked out, You've moved on
just six months in. I think you're falling for the
grass as always greener trap. And not once did you
say you tried to you know, talk to your husband
about what you like. You know, maybe he could do
something better. And then wait a minute, you did say
(03:50):
you prayed, you practice celibacy, and your husband loves the Lord,
so I would think that you would honor your marriage
vows since you're the one that brought the Lord into it.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
This letter doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
I want to tell you to leave your number two
alone and try to work on your number one right now,
since it's only been six months into it. But I
don't think you're gonna listen at this point. I just
don't think so, Steve, short ass, she's gonna listen.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
I got you what she wants. Yeah, and I understand
what you said. I think you make valid points in
here too. The number two will never be number one.
Let me help you out with something you said. Let's
start with the letter. Steve says number twos will never
be number one. So I want your opinion on my situation.
What if this time that's an exception to the rule.
(04:48):
Could this be true? Love? I said, men don't make
their number twos when they have a number one. If
a guy has a solid his ride or die and
that's what he called in her, and then he got
a chick on his side. And your number two. We
(05:12):
don't promote number two's to number one because you ain't
considered ride or die. That's what the situation is. So
now this is a different situation because you're married. You're
supposed to be your husband's number one, and your husband
(05:33):
is supposed to be your number one. But now you
are a woman wanting to promote your number two to
the number one position, and that's what you're wanting to do.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
This is rare.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Here, let me walk you through some contradictions in this
letter before I give you what I want to say.
You didn't have sex to you was married. Thirty four
year old woman found this man, a man of your dreams.
He's handsome, educated, gamefully employed, and he loves the Lord.
You did not mention how much you love the Lord.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
She brought him up though.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Yeah, but he loves the Lord.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
He ain't say nothing about you.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
I fell hard for this man, and a year after
we met, we got married. I was so excited for
my webnite because it will be our first time making love.
He's blessed with the proper equipment, but it's his skill
set that's lacking. Oh so you took a year off
still had Joe skills.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
So what are we really talking about here?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
All right?
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Hold on, Steve.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, Steve's response is coming up at twenty three minutes after.
Number two will never be number one is the subject.
We'll be back right after this.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
Subject number two will never be number one.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
This is an interesting letter about this woman who states
that Steve says that the number two will never be
number one, So I won't opinion on my situation. What
is this? What if this time there's an exception to
the rule. Could this be true love? I'm gonna get
to this part quickly. But first of all, she married
this guy, man of her dreams, everything, she's been celebate
(07:25):
for a year and a half. She didn't have sex
to her wedding night. She was so excited about the sex.
She fell hard for the man. They made love. He
got the right equipment, but his skill set is lacking.
Our wedding night, I had the absolute worst sexual experience
I ever had. It was four minutes from start to finish.
(07:50):
So he didne got you undressed, took all them buttons
off that wedding dress.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Got all them guarters down.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
And them five hys and all that none, snapped all
them spanks and got all that stuff unstrapped and got
them clips. Wedding dresses had about four five pieces to it.
And then right after that it was over in four minutes,
(08:17):
and he passed out and slept like he has showed
out to him he did. Now he had had sex
in a year and a half either, So come on, now,
this a lot of it's a lot. So the first time,
maybe he didn't do right, but I guess it continued
that way because since then he's been overly confident. He's
(08:37):
not as attentive and of loving as he was when
you met. So in other words, I'm assuming you're saying
that he's become arrogant for some reason, that maybe he
thinks he all that because you ain't looking upside his
head the right way. You know this four minutes. You
need to stop something before we get there. Excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me? Can I get more and folk today? On?
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Can we do eight?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Let's stet o' clock.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
You need a timer on the night stand, hit a
thing like a chest clock, and you need I need
eight from you tonight.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Let's work.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Let's beat last night. We need twelve. But he ain't
been giving the teeth.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
So you ran into an old college for you and
had some dinner work done. So that means before in
college he had a ragged ass mouth. But now he'd
have got this dinner work done. And he's made a
world of difference. He said when he got married it
broke his heart. He always had a big crush on me.
But he didn't think I'd give him the time of day. Well, hell,
he knew he wasn't. He had ragged ass mouth.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
He knew well, he knew it.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
He knew the girl wasn't gonna give him time to day.
You got ragged ass mouth. Raggedy mouth fans me and
no they ain't got no. You know your teeth is
they gonna see your teeth? Hard to hide your teeth
when you're talking, Kate, laugh with bad teeth, you can't
even have a good sense of humor. We got ragged
ass mouth. So that well, I've given him a lot
more more than that. I'm falling for this man because
(10:02):
he's given me his whole heart. He holds me after sex,
kisses my nose, looks into my soul when he talks
to me. I'm ready to get the voice and date
my boyfriend, and date my boyfriend a while. I want
to be happy, and so far this guy could be
my soulmate. Steve says his number two would never be
number one. So I want your opinion on this situation.
What if this time this is an exception to the rule.
(10:25):
Could this be true love?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
All right? Here's my answer.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
It could be you may have married a person that's
not your soul mat It happens all the time. Sometime
it take a minute to find your soulmate. Sometime it
takes MOLDI one time. Help me, Jesus.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
You just trying to work through this letter.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Give him a chance, though.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I think it.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Maybe I think she may have realized she made a mistake.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I think this.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Once you got to living with a guy and sleeping
with a guy, you discover some things that might not
be changeable. Now you can go to counseling, But you
got to be in love with this man. If you're
not in love with a person that ain't gonna work.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Mm hmm, she said.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Tina Turner said, WHOA. Of course, love got to deal
with it.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
You got to do hard for him.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Who fell hard and stayed falling is two different things.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I fell.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
I fell hard for a whole lot of people in
my life. Got my ass right back up though, Me too, Yeah,
I fell hard for a whole lot of damn people.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Got my ass right on back up? Let me stop.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Did you marry them though? Did you marry them though?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I'm on my third match? Yah?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Know that a whole lot of people. You haven't had
a whole lot of marriage.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
No, I ain't got I ain't married everybody I fell for.
I fell for three women because they had apartments. I
was homeless. I fed a girl at the club. Yeah,
when I was homeless, I met a girl at the
comedy club. I was in love with it at night.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
He felt hard for her that night.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
At first.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
I love you as soon as I heard her. She
has some keys jangling? Hey, what is them keys to?
She said?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
My apartment? Apartment?
Speaker 4 (12:13):
A dope, you got a broom.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Room, A kitschen girl.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
I love you so yeah, it could be, and you
may have married the wrong person, but only you can
know that. Now, I don't tell people to stay in marriages.
It ain't good counseling ain't gonna save all of them.
Sometimes you made a mistake, you got to eat the mistake.
So now it is an exception to the rule. He
could be it, but you could be wrong about this
(12:44):
one too.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I'm move my third.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
All right, guys, we got to get out of here.
You can post your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. It's
Steve Harvey FM, and check out our Strawberry Letter podcast
on demand.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Okay, you're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.
All right time now, guys for today's Strawberry Letter, and
if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,
and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM
dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be
reading your letter live on the air, just like we're
going to read this one right here, right now.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Muggle up and hold on tight. We got it for
you here. It is the Strawberry Letters.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Thank you, nephew.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Subject number two will never be number one.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Dear Stephen Shirley.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I was a single and attractive thirty four year old
woman losing hope at finding love. I grew tired of
the dating cycle and I decided that I would not
have sex.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Again until I was married.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I prayed and practiced celibacy, and a year later I
met the man of my dreams. He is handsome, educated,
gainfully employed, and he loves the Lord. I fell hard
for this man, and a year after we met, we
got married. I was so excited for my wedding night
because it would be our first time making love. He
(01:05):
is blessed with the proper equipment, but it's his skill
set that's lacking. On our wedding night, I had the
absolute worst sexual experience I've ever had. It was four
minutes from start to finish. Then he passed out and
slept like he has showed out. Since then, he's been
(01:26):
overly confident, and he's not as attentive and loving as
when we met. Six months into the marriage, I ran
into an old friend from college and he had some
dental work done and it made a world of difference
in his appearance. We had lunch and we talked for hours.
He said that when I got married, it broke his
(01:46):
heart because he's always had a big crush on me,
but didn't think I'd give him the time of day.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Well, I've given him a lot more than that. I'm
falling for this man.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Because he has given me his whole heart, and he
holds me after sex, kisses my nose, and looks into
my soul when he talks to me. I'm ready to
get a divorce and date my boyfriend for a while.
I want to be happy, and so far, this guy
could be my soulmate. Steve says that number two will
(02:17):
never be number one, So I want your opinion on
my situation. What if this time there is an exception
to the rule.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Could this be true love? Wow? Well, by exception to
the rule.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
You mean he's your number two, right, and you're thinking
of making him number one, replacing your husband with him.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Could this be true love?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
You ask, well, I don't know about that. I don't
know if love has anything to do with this. I
do think lust is all over this situation, though, I do.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
And instead of.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
And would you say, Steve, oh oh oh, sorry, I
thought it was see.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah, I don't say stupid stuff out of.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Nowhere, Okay, okay, And you're right about that. And I
should have known better, because you.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Know, you uh, you know, you talked in the beginning
of your letter how you grew tired, you decided you
wouldn't have sex again, you started losing hope and finding love,
and then you met this great man, the man of
your dreams, and six months into your marriage you've already
cheated on him. Instead of trying to fix your new
(03:30):
marriage and fight for it, you haven't done that at all.
I mean, I think you've checked out, You've moved on
just six months in. I think you're falling for the
grass as always greener trap. And not once did you
say you tried to you know, talk to your husband
about what you like. You know, maybe he could do
something better. And then wait a minute, you did say
(03:50):
you prayed, you practice celibacy, and your husband loves the Lord,
so I would think that you would honor your marriage
vows since you're the one that brought the Lord into it.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
This letter doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
I want to tell you to leave your number two
alone and try to work on your number one right now,
since it's only been six months into it. But I
don't think you're gonna listen at this point. I just
don't think so, Steve, short ass, she's gonna listen.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
I got you what she wants. Yeah, and I understand
what you said. I think you make valid points in
here too. The number two will never be number one.
Let me help you out with something you said. Let's
start with the letter. Steve says number twos will never
be number one. So I want your opinion on my situation.
What if this time that's an exception to the rule.
(04:48):
Could this be true? Love? I said, men don't make
their number twos when they have a number one. If
a guy has a solid his ride or die and
that's what he called in her, and then he got
a chick on his side. And your number two. We
(05:12):
don't promote number two's to number one because you ain't
considered ride or die. That's what the situation is. So
now this is a different situation because you're married. You're
supposed to be your husband's number one, and your husband
(05:33):
is supposed to be your number one. But now you
are a woman wanting to promote your number two to
the number one position, and that's what you're wanting to do.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
This is rare.
Speaker 4 (05:48):
Here, let me walk you through some contradictions in this
letter before I give you what I want to say.
You didn't have sex to you was married. Thirty four
year old woman found this man, a man of your dreams.
He's handsome, educated, gamefully employed, and he loves the Lord.
You did not mention how much you love the Lord.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
She brought him up though.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Yeah, but he loves the Lord.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
He ain't say nothing about you.
Speaker 4 (06:22):
I fell hard for this man, and a year after
we met, we got married. I was so excited for
my webnite because it will be our first time making love.
He's blessed with the proper equipment, but it's his skill
set that's lacking. Oh so you took a year off
still had Joe skills.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
So what are we really talking about here?
Speaker 1 (06:43):
All right?
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Hold on, Steve.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, Steve's response is coming up at twenty three minutes after.
Number two will never be number one is the subject.
We'll be back right after this.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
You're listening Steve Hardy Morning Show.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.
Subject number two will never be number one.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
This is an interesting letter about this woman who states
that Steve says that the number two will never be
number one, So I won't opinion on my situation. What
is this? What if this time there's an exception to
the rule. Could this be true love? I'm gonna get
to this part quickly. But first of all, she married
this guy, man of her dreams, everything, she's been celebate
(07:25):
for a year and a half. She didn't have sex
to her wedding night. She was so excited about the sex.
She fell hard for the man. They made love. He
got the right equipment, but his skill set is lacking.
Our wedding night, I had the absolute worst sexual experience
I ever had. It was four minutes from start to finish.
(07:50):
So he didne got you undressed, took all them buttons
off that wedding dress.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Got all them guarters down.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
And them five hys and all that none, snapped all
them spanks and got all that stuff unstrapped and got
them clips. Wedding dresses had about four five pieces to it.
And then right after that it was over in four minutes,
(08:17):
and he passed out and slept like he has showed
out to him he did. Now he had had sex
in a year and a half either, So come on, now,
this a lot of it's a lot. So the first time,
maybe he didn't do right, but I guess it continued
that way because since then he's been overly confident. He's
(08:37):
not as attentive and of loving as he was when
you met. So in other words, I'm assuming you're saying
that he's become arrogant for some reason, that maybe he
thinks he all that because you ain't looking upside his
head the right way. You know this four minutes. You
need to stop something before we get there. Excuse me,
excuse me, excuse me? Can I get more and folk today? On?
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Can we do eight?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Let's stet o' clock.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
You need a timer on the night stand, hit a
thing like a chest clock, and you need I need
eight from you tonight.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Let's work.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Let's beat last night. We need twelve. But he ain't
been giving the teeth.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
So you ran into an old college for you and
had some dinner work done. So that means before in
college he had a ragged ass mouth. But now he'd
have got this dinner work done. And he's made a
world of difference. He said when he got married it
broke his heart. He always had a big crush on me.
But he didn't think I'd give him the time of day. Well, hell,
he knew he wasn't. He had ragged ass mouth.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
He knew well, he knew it.
Speaker 4 (09:40):
He knew the girl wasn't gonna give him time to day.
You got ragged ass mouth. Raggedy mouth fans me and
no they ain't got no. You know your teeth is
they gonna see your teeth? Hard to hide your teeth
when you're talking, Kate, laugh with bad teeth, you can't
even have a good sense of humor. We got ragged
ass mouth. So that well, I've given him a lot
more more than that. I'm falling for this man because
(10:02):
he's given me his whole heart. He holds me after sex,
kisses my nose, looks into my soul when he talks
to me. I'm ready to get the voice and date
my boyfriend, and date my boyfriend a while. I want
to be happy, and so far this guy could be
my soulmate. Steve says his number two would never be
number one. So I want your opinion on this situation.
What if this time this is an exception to the rule.
(10:25):
Could this be true love?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
All right? Here's my answer.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
It could be you may have married a person that's
not your soul mat It happens all the time. Sometime
it take a minute to find your soulmate. Sometime it
takes MOLDI one time. Help me, Jesus.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
You just trying to work through this letter.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Give him a chance, though.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I think it.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Maybe I think she may have realized she made a mistake.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I think this.
Speaker 4 (10:53):
Once you got to living with a guy and sleeping
with a guy, you discover some things that might not
be changeable. Now you can go to counseling, But you
got to be in love with this man. If you're
not in love with a person that ain't gonna work.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Mm hmm, she said.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Tina Turner said, WHOA. Of course, love got to deal
with it.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
You got to do hard for him.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Who fell hard and stayed falling is two different things.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I fell.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
I fell hard for a whole lot of people in
my life. Got my ass right back up though, Me too, Yeah,
I fell hard for a whole lot of damn people.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Got my ass right on back up? Let me stop.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
Did you marry them though? Did you marry them though?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
I'm on my third match? Yah?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Know that a whole lot of people. You haven't had
a whole lot of marriage.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
No, I ain't got I ain't married everybody I fell for.
I fell for three women because they had apartments. I
was homeless. I fed a girl at the club. Yeah,
when I was homeless, I met a girl at the
comedy club. I was in love with it at night.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
He felt hard for her that night.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
At first.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
I love you as soon as I heard her. She
has some keys jangling? Hey, what is them keys to?
She said?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
My apartment? Apartment?
Speaker 4 (12:13):
A dope, you got a broom.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Room, A kitschen girl.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
I love you so yeah, it could be, and you
may have married the wrong person, but only you can
know that. Now, I don't tell people to stay in marriages.
It ain't good counseling ain't gonna save all of them.
Sometimes you made a mistake, you got to eat the mistake.
So now it is an exception to the rule. He
could be it, but you could be wrong about this
(12:44):
one too.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I'm move my third.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
All right, guys, we got to get out of here.
You can post your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. It's
Steve Harvey FM, and check out our Strawberry Letter podcast
on demand.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Okay, you're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show.
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