Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if
you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,
please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEARVFM dot com and
click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter
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one right here, right now, and you never know, it
could be yours.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It could be yours. Muckle up, hold on type, We
got it for you. Here it is Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Thank you nephew. Subject why can't I talk to my ex?
Dear Stephen Shirley. My fiance and I have been together
for three years. I have two children from a previous
relationship and he has one child We have one together,
giving us a total of four children. Since the beginning
of our relationship, he has made it clear that I
(00:48):
am only allowed to talk to the father of my
children if it has to do with the children. That
was fine with me at first, but there are other
times that I need to talk to him because I
I'm the property manager for three of his properties. It's
my job. My fiance hates it, but business is business.
(01:09):
When it comes to my fiance talking to the mother
of his children. They talk often. She calls him at
least three times a week to tell him the stupidest things,
like if she ran into a guy they both know,
or if she wants to gossip about someone they grew
up with. He said it's a different situation with him
and his ex because they share a daughter and girls
(01:30):
are different. He said, my sons lived with my ex,
so I have no reason to be talking to my
ex all the time. I recently read some messages between
him and his ex and they were discussing me. He
was telling her that he loves me and I'm a
good mother and a hard worker. He assured her that
he did not cheat on her with me. I went
(01:51):
off on him. He told me that he owed her
that conversation because she still hurt. I told him that
when relationships end, people are hurt and that's life, so
she needs to get over it. He still doesn't get it.
So now I talk to my ex whenever I need
to and purposely walk out of the room to irritate
(02:11):
my fiance. He said, I'm not ready for marriage because
I like playing games. But what game is he playing?
So I can't talk to my ex but he can. Okay,
this is a mess right here. Do you see what's
happening here? You guys are in no way ready for marriage.
I don't care if you have been together for three years.
(02:32):
You're too childish with this tit for tad back and
forth stuff. And he's controlling in a sense when you
can't talk to your ex and all of that foolishness.
He's made up his own rules about it being different
between boys and girls, and about his ex still being hurt,
and that's why he talks to her. That's nonsense. He
just wants to do whatever he wants, but regulate what
(02:54):
you do in this particular situation. A marriage is never
gonna work like this, It just isn't. I strongly suggest
marriage counseling and couples in individual therapy for you both.
I mean, if not, you shouldn't even bother walking down
the aisland trying to get married to this guy, because
you'll be writing Steve and I again, but this time,
(03:14):
the next time it'll be about your divorce, because this
is not gonna work.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Steve Man, this is crazy right here. Well, let me
just go on and get to the letter. The tight
letter letter is this? Why can't I talk to my ex?
My response to that is cause it makes me throw up.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Why I can't talk my.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Ex I could try, but I'm a vomit so I don't.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
You know, it's one of the feelings I don't like.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
I don't like.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
You know how you feel when you throw up, You
kind of feel it coming. You look at that little
and you y'all, and you really you're regretting it, and
you start sweating a little bit. You know, when you're
finished THORWK, you start sweating a little bit because your
body preparing itself for this. That's what it's like if
I talk to my ex So I don't. I swear
I don't talk to my expert. Then this lady got
(04:17):
another problem. Uh, y'all been together three years year and
your fiance you got two children from a previous relationship,
and he got one child, and then y'all got one together,
y'all got four kids, and since beginning a relationship, he'd
have told you that you're only allowed to talk to
the father of your children if it's got to do
(04:39):
with the children.
Speaker 4 (04:41):
Well, she said that was.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Fine, but there are other times I need to talk
to him because I'm the property manager for three of
his property it's my job. Well, that is true. That
is tr My fiance hates it, but business is business.
(05:05):
But what she said, when it comes to my fiance
talking to the mother of his children, they talk all
the time. She calls him three times a week to
tell him the stupidest stuff, like if she ran into
a guy they both knew, or she wants the gospel
about somebody they grew up with. He said, it's a
different situation with him and his ex because they share
a daughter and girls are different.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
Boy, what.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Boy, boy, you're just coming up with Ruth.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
Now, no, we got a daughter together. They this girls
is different. What man?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
So, like, you know, y'all got boys, so y'all ain't
got to talk about raising them, right, But I got
this girl over here and I got to get involved
mode less and hear about this other stuff.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
And then he.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Told you that your sons live with your ex, So
I ain't got no reason to be talking my ex
all the time.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
So damn dog.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
So this woman gonna just stop talking to the man
that has her two sons.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
I'm confused.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
She said that I recently read some messages between him
and his ex and they was discussing me and he
was telling the girl that he loves me and I'm
a good mother and a hard worker.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
Well, I don't know, you know, I don't know. You
know the yo hump.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Your man got custody of the boys, right, but they
gave him boys to they dad.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Hang on, Steve, hang up, We'll have part two, he.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Says in the Strawberry Letter. I'm just throwing this in
the Strawberry Letter.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
We'll have part two of your response coming up at
twenty three minutes after today's Strawberry Letter is subject why
can't I talk to my ex? We'll get back into
it right after this.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
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Speaker 3 (06:55):
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Speaker 1 (07:25):
All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letter.
The subject why can't I talk to my ex?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Well, like I told you before, if I were to
respond to the letter directly, why I can't talk to
my ex? It's simply because it make me throw up.
That's why I can't talk to my ex. Will I
just want to you know, we didn't you just say,
let's recap there that?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yes, I did, I just say repeat.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
So I'm just trying to recap it. That's the reason
I can't talk to my ex, because it make me
throw up. I don't like my jaw fill up with
that pocket of app you know how you and then
you get real hot, you know, when you fit to
throw up, you get real hoigh, and you start sweating
a little bit, and then it feel like it's coming,
but it don't come, and you get the look and
I can't stand that.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Just come on out. I can't stand. I can't.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
I can't stand that fake throw up that they throw
on me. You know, when you know where you vomit,
but you don't vomit, you just eat it, you know,
and then your daddy stick you're franging down your throat
already got enough stuff back there now anyway. Anyway, they
(08:37):
they got these kids together and her she she has
two sons and her husband, her ex got custody of
the boys, and they have a son together now, and
he has a daughter, and he don't like when she
talked to her ex, but he talked to his ex
all the time. And the excuse he gave her, the
(08:57):
reason he get to talk to his ex all the
time because they got a daughter and daughters is different, right,
I said, I'll be damn. I didn't know you could
use that, So you can. You can use that. That's
a good one now, dog, And so anyway, you know.
She has also seen text messages between the two of them,
(09:17):
and one of the text messages was saying he really
loves you and that he thinks you a good mother.
But he said, says he loves you and you a
good mother.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
And a hard worker and a hard worker.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
But then he told her that, and then he said
to her that he didn't cheat on her.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
With you, right right.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
And then you went off on him and he told
you he felt like he owed her that conversation because
she's still hurt. Well, I got to give a damn
about that, man. Your woman don't give a damn.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
She hurt. That's why y'all broke up because she hurt.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
You don't owe her that conversation, that it wouldn't you
and all that there. You know, man, women always talking
about they gotta have clothes. Now, y'all just on the
phone talking about a whole bunch of other stuff. Anyway,
he said, you told her he needed to get over it.
He still don't get it. So now I talk to
my ex whenever I need to, and I purposely walk
(10:19):
out the room to irritate my fiance. He said, I'm
not ready for marriage because I like playing games. But
what game is he playing? So I can't talk to
my ex but he can. Okay, Both of y'all in
high school. Yeah, y'all in high school, and y'all need
to stop.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
This twelve thirteen.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Facade or whatever y'all got going talk about. Y'all gonna
get married, and y'all two are at odds because y'all
have children from other relationships. It's called a blended family.
No blended family is perfect. It comes with problems. All
blended families come with problems. People kill me when they
(11:04):
talk the man we had a blended family. It's just beautiful, man.
We all love each other. You might, but them damn
kids is a trip, and the other damn people is
a trip. All you all y'all should work on is
just you and her. But once you let other people
inside your two hands to circle, you're gonna have problems
(11:25):
where I had to learn that personally, I can't make
everybody love each other. I can't make you be glad
you met them and all like this, go on about
your business.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
But me and your mama, we gonna be good. Now.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Now y'all got small children, I'm assuming, so y'all gonna
have to work through some things. But like right now,
y'all don't seem like y'all need to get married. Y'all
need some counseling. And you very rarely hear me record
being counseling, very very rarely. I'm not really a therapy type.
Ask yeah, I'm not really. I'm not a therapy ass dude.
(11:58):
I'm just gonna go and be real with you. You know,
I've had people ask me to a ten therapy with them,
not my wife, but because my wife know I ain't going.
But I've had other people that I have relationships within
my family currently because you know, the these young ass kids,
they believe in therapy. But I talked to it in
(12:18):
this crazy and that's cool if that's what you need
to get through.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
I got prayer, p I pray my way out of stuff.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
So and that ain't for everybody, But I know I
know a woman, a partner's wife of mine, has been
with the same therapist get this for twenty five years.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Twenty five years.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
The same therapist.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
And I said, oh, that sain't the therapist. You just
got a homie, y'all. You just paid two hundred and
fifty hour to go in there and talk to your girl.
You mightst y'all just go, y'all going to have wine
and stuff. Because if you if you ain't goxed, if
you ain't got it fixed in twenty five years, I
thank y'all trying to fix it. Y'all just down there
(13:02):
sharing information. And she said, but she raised my kids,
She know all my kids everything. I said, See, that's
when it does you just a weekly appointment. But therapy
is good for some people, and some people get really
a lot of stuff out of therapy. And it's good
for you to go and talk to somebody.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
That ain't for me. And that's all.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
But I think this people need to go to therapy
because they then skipped over the prayer part.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
You can leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on
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out the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Now.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Coming up next it is Junior and Sports Talk. Right
after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show