Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Because it's another addition, a weirdoWednesday. Yes, so we embraced the
(00:05):
oddities of some of our favorite listenerstalking to today. Who's say my name?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, Um, Hi guys, my name is
Mallory. What's up, Mallory?What makes you a weirdo? Well?
Um, I don't really know ifthis qualities as weird, but I'm a
sex addict. All right, allright, Well, this is the part
(00:28):
of the show where we tell youif you are in the car with children
or something, don't turn it up. Yeah yeah, yeah, total.
So okay, So what's going on, Mallory yours? You have an addiction?
Yeah? So, I've been strugglingwith this sex addiction for a few
years now. It started out asjust a casual sex type of thing,
(00:50):
but then it turned into something thatI really could in control. I've lost
jobs, I've done partners, I'veeven put my health at risk. Well
yeah, so, wait, like, is it the same partner that you
just can't like get your hands offor are we talking like multiple partners.
I would say multiple partners because itdoesn't really matter who is coming from as
(01:14):
long as it's yeah, I'm okay. Now, can you give us some
examples of how this might have affectedyour life, Mallory, Well, one
time I had sex with a stranger, a complete stranger, in a parking
lot outside of a concert. TimeI had sex with my boss in the
(01:38):
office yikes. And one time Ieven had sex with a delivery guy who
came to my apartment. I mean, I've heard about videos like that.
I'm sure you have here, Okay, Mallory. I feel like there's a
lot to unpack here, that itprobably stems from something much deeper than like
(02:00):
what's on the surface at this point. Have he tried seeking Hell, yeah,
I have. I have tried therapyand support groups, but nothing has
really worked for me yet. Imean, do you enjoy it or are
you like I want to fix this? Hmm. It's partially chasing a feeling
and partially like it's infaciable. Youcan't really taste the feeling, but I'm
(02:23):
constantly chasing the feeling, if thatmakes sense. I mean, I think
that's that's that's yeah, yeah,that's no matter what it is as a
drug alcoholic. I mean, it'sinteresting because I have a friend Buster that
actually has the same thing. He'sa sex addict and he's like been seeking
therapy, he's like ruined his familyover it, and this is a real
(02:44):
thing, Like it's I'm sure there'speople listening on the radio like, oh
yeah, me too. As awoman, like, I bet it's a
little bit harder because there's like somuch more judgment on, you know,
for you, Mallory. So Imean, I think the first step,
right is admitting it. Acknowledge it, yea, and we're there. Yeah,
you don't have to face this alone. There's resources and all that stuff,
(03:05):
and I think probably doing stuff likethis and talking about it is probably
helpful, right, Mallory? Actually, can I can I say something else?
I guess it's kind of related tomy addiction, and it really is
the reason that I came on yourshow today. Oh I'm glad we finally
got to the place, I don'tknow, like wrapping it. Okay,
that's up budget, Okay, yeah, of course this is a safe space.
(03:30):
Um Okay. So well, mysister and I don't really have a
relationship anymore. She found out thatI've left with two of her previous boyfriends,
and I honestly think it's because ofmy addictions. So it's just I
guess a reminder that secon addiction canhave serious consequences for not just me as
the addict, but the people aroundme. Who I guess I'm reflected by
(03:53):
my addiction. Yeah, I meanit's rude. It's like ruining relationships.
God too, though I kind offelt sympathy for you there, Mallory,
but now I'm like a little pissedbluster. No, I feel like this
has not to come down on you, because obviously, sexual addiction is a
real thing and I get it.But like, oh, this is a
real thing and it's and it's affectingthose around me. Okay, So what
(04:15):
are you gonna do about it,Mallory? Well, I mean it's something
I of course wish I could takeit back, but I can't paint the
past, and all I can dois remember how this makes me feel to
try to be a better person goingforward so that doesn't happen again. Have
you tried started talking to your sisterabout it like you got. Have you
tried mending that relationship or does shewant you to do the work on yourself
(04:39):
birth? No? I mean wehaven't spoken in months, so I don't
really know where she sits. Ohman, all right, I mean,
look, it's ruining relationships. It'sgoing to prevent you from like having any
future relationship too. So until youface this head on and show some consistency
of making the effort to fix thesethings, you know, I think you're
(05:00):
gonna continue to push those around youaway. I do wonder though, if
we've got anybody listening that might bedealing with a similar situation, either with
its them or maybe a family memberor a friend or something like that that
has an addiction to sex. Yeah, totally, and they could chime in
and help Mallory out. You're gonnabe listening Mallory, right of course,
all right, the number two twoon five two sixty three one O two
(05:23):
one. You could text us atseven one O two one or sliding our
DMS at Bex and Buster. Iwas just gonna tell Mallory hear something a
long relationship, like long term relationship, you won't be having any singing.
Yeah, yeah, getting, I'mreally only getting all right, Mallory.
We're gonna we're gonna try and getyou some additional advice, all right.
(05:46):
And I meant what I said try, You gotta take some it's responsibility for
your actions consequences. Think about that. Yeah, it's no different than any
sort of addiction, you know.So I mean she's doing the right thing,
though her acknowledge it is a farststep. So that's a that's a
good thing. Mallory, thanks forCarlin Mallory. Thank you guys. I
really appreciate your support. And Busteryou just met Mallory on aspects and Buster
(06:10):
backs too much of a good thing, right. Uh. Yeah, you
weren't kidding when you said that shehas an addiction to getting it on,
you bet. And when we saythis, it's like, it's serious.
This is affecting your family, yourfriends, ruined relationships over and you know.
The good thing is she's talking aboutit. She called in seeking some
advice. We're getting text messages inhere. Somebody said that my buddy has
(06:32):
a sex addiction and it ruined hisrelationship with his fiance. He regrets it
every day, but continues to fallinto the addiction for a while, but
therapy and meetings have really helped him. Yeah, we also got first off,
I think therapy is probably the wayto go right, even if you
find yourself slipping. But we alsogot this other text message with which I
(06:53):
think has a serious tone to itis, did Mallory have any abuse history?
Because I feel like that could probablyplay it that. I mean,
listen, who we are always stemsfrom where we came from, where we
came from. So yeah, Idon't disagree with that one at all.
Hello. Oh hey, I wascalling in about the last caller who talks
about a sex addiction. Yeah.What do you think of malory situation?
(07:15):
Well? I feel for her andI do want to help her know how
furious it can get because, um, my ex husband had a sex addiction
which ended up ending our marriage.Wow, so it really Yeah, why
did he have an affair on you? Excuse me? Yes he did.
Um he also had a pornography addiction. Um, so he was doing things
(07:38):
like editing his porn while he waswatching our children and things like that.
Yeah, sorry, you dealt withthat. Yeah, so thank you.
So obviously, if Mallory's listening,she's hearing the other side of the table
right now. She's hearing someone whois affected. So if you had,
(08:00):
if you were to talk to herkind of what what would you say?
I think I would tell her.Good for you for acknowledging that it can
be a problem. And it doesaffect your relationships and other people. And
I would encourage her to pursue therapy, as I heard you say, um,
so that before she gets into arelationship she can deal with things us.
(08:22):
I'm sure there is hope. I'msure there. It's good we're talking
about it because when it happened tome, which was about fifteen years ago
or so now, it was awhile, but it was I felt very
alienated, you know, I didn'tknow where to turn, who to talk
to, you know, just closefriends, but it wasn't anything that was
ever talked about. I have aquestion that we're talking about it now,
I have a question. Uh,and not to like, oh my godsving
(08:48):
I'm not gonna go ahead, butI do have a question. It's like,
does it make it getting nervous?Does it make it more difficult for
you to proceed normally with a normalsexual appetite or any of those sort of
things having gone through your perspective,Absolutely right, because I would imagine it's
(09:09):
always in the back of your head. Now, it's always there, especially
after you've been like scarred by it. I'm sure you know you can work
on that baggage, but it's there. How are you doing today? Have
you moved on? Good? Yes, absolutely moved on. The kids are
grown and doing great. And I'mrecently, you know, on some dating
sites and looking to you know,get to meet people. Fine, but
(09:33):
yeah, yeah, I'm moving on. Thank you, Frank good good good,
Yeah, congratulations on that, andthank you for listening. We appreciate
your golf. You're welcome. Thankyou taking my pleasing and
Because it's another addition, a weirdoWednesday. Yes, so we embraced the
(00:05):
oddities of some of our favorite listenerstalking to today. Who's say my name?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, Um, Hi guys, my name is
Mallory. What's up, Mallory?What makes you a weirdo? Well?
Um, I don't really know ifthis qualities as weird, but I'm a
sex addict. All right, allright, Well, this is the part
(00:28):
of the show where we tell youif you are in the car with children
or something, don't turn it up. Yeah yeah, yeah, total.
So okay, So what's going on, Mallory yours? You have an addiction?
Yeah? So, I've been strugglingwith this sex addiction for a few
years now. It started out asjust a casual sex type of thing,
(00:50):
but then it turned into something thatI really could in control. I've lost
jobs, I've done partners, I'veeven put my health at risk. Well
yeah, so, wait, like, is it the same partner that you
just can't like get your hands offor are we talking like multiple partners.
I would say multiple partners because itdoesn't really matter who is coming from as
(01:14):
long as it's yeah, I'm okay. Now, can you give us some
examples of how this might have affectedyour life, Mallory, Well, one
time I had sex with a stranger, a complete stranger, in a parking
lot outside of a concert. TimeI had sex with my boss in the
(01:38):
office yikes. And one time Ieven had sex with a delivery guy who
came to my apartment. I mean, I've heard about videos like that.
I'm sure you have here, Okay, Mallory. I feel like there's a
lot to unpack here, that itprobably stems from something much deeper than like
(02:00):
what's on the surface at this point. Have he tried seeking Hell, yeah,
I have. I have tried therapyand support groups, but nothing has
really worked for me yet. Imean, do you enjoy it or are
you like I want to fix this? Hmm. It's partially chasing a feeling
and partially like it's infaciable. Youcan't really taste the feeling, but I'm
(02:23):
constantly chasing the feeling, if thatmakes sense. I mean, I think
that's that's that's yeah, yeah,that's no matter what it is as a
drug alcoholic. I mean, it'sinteresting because I have a friend Buster that
actually has the same thing. He'sa sex addict and he's like been seeking
therapy, he's like ruined his familyover it, and this is a real
(02:44):
thing, Like it's I'm sure there'speople listening on the radio like, oh
yeah, me too. As awoman, like, I bet it's a
little bit harder because there's like somuch more judgment on, you know,
for you, Mallory. So Imean, I think the first step,
right is admitting it. Acknowledge it, yea, and we're there. Yeah,
you don't have to face this alone. There's resources and all that stuff,
(03:05):
and I think probably doing stuff likethis and talking about it is probably
helpful, right, Mallory? Actually, can I can I say something else?
I guess it's kind of related tomy addiction, and it really is
the reason that I came on yourshow today. Oh I'm glad we finally
got to the place, I don'tknow, like wrapping it. Okay,
that's up budget, Okay, yeah, of course this is a safe space.
(03:30):
Um Okay. So well, mysister and I don't really have a
relationship anymore. She found out thatI've left with two of her previous boyfriends,
and I honestly think it's because ofmy addictions. So it's just I
guess a reminder that secon addiction canhave serious consequences for not just me as
the addict, but the people aroundme. Who I guess I'm reflected by
(03:53):
my addiction. Yeah, I meanit's rude. It's like ruining relationships.
God too, though I kind offelt sympathy for you there, Mallory,
but now I'm like a little pissedbluster. No, I feel like this
has not to come down on you, because obviously, sexual addiction is a
real thing and I get it.But like, oh, this is a
real thing and it's and it's affectingthose around me. Okay, So what
(04:15):
are you gonna do about it,Mallory? Well, I mean it's something
I of course wish I could takeit back, but I can't paint the
past, and all I can dois remember how this makes me feel to
try to be a better person goingforward so that doesn't happen again. Have
you tried started talking to your sisterabout it like you got. Have you
tried mending that relationship or does shewant you to do the work on yourself
(04:39):
birth? No? I mean wehaven't spoken in months, so I don't
really know where she sits. Ohman, all right, I mean,
look, it's ruining relationships. It'sgoing to prevent you from like having any
future relationship too. So until youface this head on and show some consistency
of making the effort to fix thesethings, you know, I think you're
(05:00):
gonna continue to push those around youaway. I do wonder though, if
we've got anybody listening that might bedealing with a similar situation, either with
its them or maybe a family memberor a friend or something like that that
has an addiction to sex. Yeah, totally, and they could chime in
and help Mallory out. You're gonnabe listening Mallory, right of course,
all right, the number two twoon five two sixty three one O two
(05:23):
one. You could text us atseven one O two one or sliding our
DMS at Bex and Buster. Iwas just gonna tell Mallory hear something a
long relationship, like long term relationship, you won't be having any singing.
Yeah, yeah, getting, I'mreally only getting all right, Mallory.
We're gonna we're gonna try and getyou some additional advice, all right.
(05:46):
And I meant what I said try, You gotta take some it's responsibility for
your actions consequences. Think about that. Yeah, it's no different than any
sort of addiction, you know.So I mean she's doing the right thing,
though her acknowledge it is a farststep. So that's a that's a
good thing. Mallory, thanks forCarlin Mallory. Thank you guys. I
really appreciate your support. And Busteryou just met Mallory on aspects and Buster
(06:10):
backs too much of a good thing, right. Uh. Yeah, you
weren't kidding when you said that shehas an addiction to getting it on,
you bet. And when we saythis, it's like, it's serious.
This is affecting your family, yourfriends, ruined relationships over and you know.
The good thing is she's talking aboutit. She called in seeking some
advice. We're getting text messages inhere. Somebody said that my buddy has
(06:32):
a sex addiction and it ruined hisrelationship with his fiance. He regrets it
every day, but continues to fallinto the addiction for a while, but
therapy and meetings have really helped him. Yeah, we also got first off,
I think therapy is probably the wayto go right, even if you
find yourself slipping. But we alsogot this other text message with which I
(06:53):
think has a serious tone to itis, did Mallory have any abuse history?
Because I feel like that could probablyplay it that. I mean,
listen, who we are always stemsfrom where we came from, where we
came from. So yeah, Idon't disagree with that one at all.
Hello. Oh hey, I wascalling in about the last caller who talks
about a sex addiction. Yeah.What do you think of malory situation?
(07:15):
Well? I feel for her andI do want to help her know how
furious it can get because, um, my ex husband had a sex addiction
which ended up ending our marriage.Wow, so it really Yeah, why
did he have an affair on you? Excuse me? Yes he did.
Um he also had a pornography addiction. Um, so he was doing things
(07:38):
like editing his porn while he waswatching our children and things like that.
Yeah, sorry, you dealt withthat. Yeah, so thank you.
So obviously, if Mallory's listening,she's hearing the other side of the table
right now. She's hearing someone whois affected. So if you had,
(08:00):
if you were to talk to herkind of what what would you say?
I think I would tell her.Good for you for acknowledging that it can
be a problem. And it doesaffect your relationships and other people. And
I would encourage her to pursue therapy, as I heard you say, um,
so that before she gets into arelationship she can deal with things us.
(08:22):
I'm sure there is hope. I'msure there. It's good we're talking
about it because when it happened tome, which was about fifteen years ago
or so now, it was awhile, but it was I felt very
alienated, you know, I didn'tknow where to turn, who to talk
to, you know, just closefriends, but it wasn't anything that was
ever talked about. I have aquestion that we're talking about it now,
I have a question. Uh,and not to like, oh my godsving
(08:48):
I'm not gonna go ahead, butI do have a question. It's like,
does it make it getting nervous?Does it make it more difficult for
you to proceed normally with a normalsexual appetite or any of those sort of
things having gone through your perspective,Absolutely right, because I would imagine it's
(09:09):
always in the back of your head. Now, it's always there, especially
after you've been like scarred by it. I'm sure you know you can work
on that baggage, but it's there. How are you doing today? Have
you moved on? Good? Yes, absolutely moved on. The kids are
grown and doing great. And I'mrecently, you know, on some dating
sites and looking to you know,get to meet people. Fine, but
(09:33):
yeah, yeah, I'm moving on. Thank you, Frank good good good,
Yeah, congratulations on that, andthank you for listening. We appreciate
your golf. You're welcome. Thankyou taking my pleasing and
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