2/28 Dating with kids: When do you reveal it?

​Navigating the dating world as a parent involves the delicate decision of when to disclose your parental status to a potential partner.

 Opinions vary, but many suggest that transparency early in the dating process is beneficial. Some believe that mentioning children upfront, such as in an online dating profile or during initial conversations, can filter out individuals not open to dating someone with kids. Others advocate for waiting until a few dates in, allowing the other person to get to know you first before introducing the topic.

Ultimately, the timing should align with your comfort level and the nature of the relationship, ensuring honesty while protecting your family's privacy.T

oby and Chilli discuss and take your calls and talkbacks!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
We are Toby and Chilly in the Morning hangout because
in just a few minutes.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
A woman went online and said that a guy ended
a relationship with her after finding out she has kids.
So we want to know, at what point do you
reveal to someone you've got children?

Speaker 3 (00:14):
If you want to jump.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Into the conversation now, it's eight sixty six nine two
seven forty three sixty one talkback. Microphone's wide open too.
If it's easier for you to leave a message and
you're signed into your iHeart app, just tap speak and sent.
That is minutes away. It's Toby and Chilly in the
Morning continues on a Friday, this was floating around on Reddit.
You might have seen it. Parents who have been dating

(00:35):
and you're dating somebody new ninety seven point one watch
FM Toby and Chilly in the Morning.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
Oh there's a catch, you have a kid? Yeah. Apparently
this happened.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
To a guy who was not thrilled to find out
after multiple dates with a potential paramore, that she was
a mom.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
She casually mentioned that she had a seven month old
and this guy was like, Yeah, that's not going to
work for me because I'm not ready to be a
step parent. So he ended things with which begs the question.
And I'm going to ask you, Toby, because you were
a single parent when you were dating, what point do
you reveal that you have a child?

Speaker 1 (01:08):
First things First, I mean, you know, hey, this is
part of the equation. There's nothing more important to me
than this, and if we're going to be anything, you're
going to have to be okay with it.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
So even on the dating apps, you would identify as
somebody who had a child, right, so that even before
a first date, everybody knows what's going on, I believe.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
So it's been a while since I've been on an app.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
No, but like, don't you think I see? That's what
I think it should be. I think it should be
part of your dating profile. I think when you're in
the conversation phase, like even texting or whatever through the apps,
that you put it out there because to your point,
you don't want somebody in your life who's not ready.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
For that, right eight sixty six nine two seven forty
three sixty one. I know it's a big subject, dating
and dating somebody with kids from a previous relationship, but
sometimes you got to talk about this stuff. So do
you have thoughts. Maybe if you want to tap to
talk back microphone. If you're signed and listening to your
iHeart app, you could share some of them too. Give
us a call. We're listening. We'll start over here with you,

(02:02):
Julia and Boston.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
I say bring it up early, like maybe after a
few dates.

Speaker 4 (02:08):
It helps expectations and shows you're being honest.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Julia.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I do appreciate the honesty, but a few dates after
a few dates could mean like a month or two.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
But you gotta do what's right for you. And who
would we be to tell you what that is? Thanks
for jumping in in Boston this morning. If you're dating
somebody with kids from a previous relationship, how long do
you wait until you share the fact that, hey, I'm
a package deal. Eight sixty six nine two seven forty
three sixty one is the number. Talkback's wide open two.

(02:39):
You're signed into your IHEARTIPE, you can use it. Tell
us what you think and we'll get back to This
is Toby and Chilly in the morning continues.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
All right, Sean, I see you calling from Gaythersburg.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Hang on and let me tell people why you're calling.
I think it's because you want to jump into the
conversation we've been having this morning about dating some with
kids Toby and Chilly in the Morning at eight sixty
six nine two seven forty three sixty one, specifically, when
is the right time for you to come clean about
having a child in your life?

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Chili thinks, what.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Now, before you even go on in a first date,
you should tell someone you've got kids.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yep, you're putting the ball back in their court if
they're not happy with it, enjoy your coffee date and
go about your business.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
It's only going to be a huge deal if you
bring it up later and the other person has a
problem with it.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
Better to get that stuff out and the open and
right away.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
So far, that's three of us saying the same thing
out of the gate.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
Baby, let's go to talk back where Charity left us
a message in Woodbridge.

Speaker 4 (03:39):
When I was dating, I was upfront about the fact
that I had a child, because some times kids aren't
for other people, and later down the road it's going
to hurt you or them if you guys start catching
feelings and they're not into kids. So being upfront but
also not letting them around the child or anything like that.
I support one und percent as well, because I was

(04:01):
the same way.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, just put it out there and see how it
all develops. That's excellent. Thank you for the message of
this morning charity and.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
If they stick around, an even tougher question, what's that chilling?

Speaker 3 (04:11):
When do you meet the kids? Boom boom boom,