10 Takes with Kyle Brandt: Idiots and Goobers

When a running back could be the leading MVP candidate, we still only have 10 minutes: 

• The Cowboys might need some change
• The Bears have a QB
• The best Derrick Henry we've ever seen
• Throw the ball in the stands!
• Bribe your kids

Be a goober and listen to 10 Takes with Kyle Brandt!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership
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love you for it. Ten Takes in ten minutes. Your
weekly newsletter rapid Fire. I always get you ten. I
always deliver it in ten. That is my promise to you.

(00:27):
Ten takes ten minutes. Let's start right now. Take number one,
start the clock. Mike McCarthy is office politics guy. And
I don't mean like he talks politics at the office.
I mean he is really good at being in an
office setting or working for a company. You've ever worked
with someone who's real greatest talent is they just know

(00:47):
how to email, well, they know how to backchannel and
vilify someone. They kind of just know how to survive.
And you're like, why has Jean been here for sixteen years?
I don't even know what Gene does. I'm not even
sure what is bringing to the table. Like Jean shows
up when the boss is there, he writes the right
group email, he does the BCC or the reply only

(01:09):
to the reply all, and Gene knows how to survive.
Gene is Mike McCarthy who is not a bad guy,
who doesn't even have a bad team, but has a terrible, terrible,
terrible thing going on right now, and that every single
time the Cowboys play a home game, they're not only losing,
they're getting destroyed by halftime fifteen plus points in four

(01:31):
straight home games. That is what they've been down by.
It's never been done in history, not in the modern era,
not since the merger. It's never been done ever. And
yet if you have the gall to even suggest to
Jerry Jones, Hey, Jerry, the team's terrible. They just lost
me about eighty points. It's the worst home loss since
you took over the team in the late nineteen eighties,

(01:53):
she think maybe you might think about replacing him the
head coach. Jerry gets so mad at you, and he
loses that twinkle in his eye and he says to
the reporter, do you think I'm an idiot? And the
reporter is like, ah, I think yes, but to say
that so no. It's been such a strange dynamic with
Jerry right now. He loves Mike McCarthy and it's like, well,
he has fired a guy in the middle of the season.

(02:13):
Before he fired Wade Phillips when they started, I think
it was one in seven and they'd been the division
around the year before things were going well, He's like,
get the hell out of here. They hired Jason Garrett,
they win their first two, they finished five and three.
Firing coaches usually works, And my last take on that is,
I think teams don't like to be the first franchise
in a given season to fire their head coach. You
don't want to be first. Well, the Jets already took

(02:33):
care of that, so now it's like, not it open season,
And I just don't know if Mike McCarthy is still
keeping the job now after an offseason which Emtt Smith
and others went around going on every single show being like,
why is he still the head coach of this beloved franchise.
I don't know when they're gonna let him go. I
just don't they should, but they don't. That's a long take.
That was almost two and a half minutes. I burned
on Mike McCarthy, twenty times longer than Jerry Jones is

(02:55):
spent considering to replace him. Take number two, Aiden Hutchinson.
Thing just sucks. I'm so upset about this because the
Lions are so cool and I thought they're gonna win
the Super Bowl. This year, and I say that in
past Tens. Can they win the Super Bowl without their
best pass rusher, without maybe their best top to bottom player,
without their most important player outside of Jared Goff? I
think is Ay and Huchson. He's gone, he broke his
leg and things Snap is gone. I'm trying to think

(03:17):
of another team that could conceivably win the Super Bowl
this year that could lose a non quarterback as important
to their team as Hutchinson. You know, we're seeing it
with the Niners and McCaffrey. They're just not the same.
Maybe the Ravens and Derrick Henry, but they've done things
without him, and they could do things without him if
he was gone. I think they're gonna be in the playoffs,
think they may win playoff games, win the super Bowl

(03:37):
without Hutchinson. It's tough to ask. I feel so bad
about that because the Lions are such a cool story.
The injury gods are cruel and they demand sacrifice, and
they just took it take number three. I think Dereck
Henry is the MVP right now. And I don't say
it to just have a different take and be nuts
and get engagement. I just don't run this thing or
anything I do this way. I watch them and I'm like,

(03:57):
I think, right now, he's the best player on the
ravens Lamar is Lamar, I get it. And Zay Flowers
has been great. Dereck Henry has never looked better. Hate
to be on pace guy, especially around the end of
baseball season, but like, he's putting up two thousand yard
season numbers and he's much much older than anyone should
ever be doing that. He's never looked smoother, He's never
looked better. I'm talking prime Titans years. I'm talking about

(04:18):
Alabama years. It is so cool to watch him and
the story of an NFL running back being MVP first
since Adrian Peterson and him doing it at this stage
on a second team would be amazing. I don't see
an offensive player who destroys more defenses right now other
than Derek Henry. You can name a few US five.
Dereck Henry's my pick. Take number four. Caleb Williams has arrived.

(04:39):
It is really cool to watch Bears. Fans should be excited.
They really should. And if you're thinking, like, well, he's playing, well,
who cares he beat the Jaguars, I totally get that.
But Also, Bears fans are always looking for this wide
sweeping change, like we're erasing history and stuff like that.
And if you really want to see things, they're out there.
The Bears have scored thirty five points in consecutive games
for the first time since Mark Tressman was their head coach.

(05:01):
You may not even remember Mark Tressman. I don't know,
so Bears ownership remembers Mark Treustman. He was the head
coach and they're doing things the first time since he
was there. The Bears have five offensive touchdowns and back
to back games since the mid fifties. The nineteen fifties,
like Elvis Presley was a big deal the last time
they did what they're doing. So, yes, there is wide
sweeping change. Is Caleb better than Jayden Daniels, I don't know.

(05:24):
He looks better than Justin Fields and Mitch Trubisky, and
right now he looks better than Jay Cutler. It's an
awesome thing to see. The description I would come up
with it is he is in command out there. He
is like calm and poised, and he makes people roll
their eyes by saying he never gets nervous for football games,
and then you watch him you're like, hey, he doesn't
look nervous at all. Even when he's not playing well,
even when he throws a pick you may say he's

(05:45):
not great. He does not look nervous. His pulse does
not bounce. It is a very cool thing to watch.
Take number five. I hate that they find players for
throwing the ball in the stands after touchdowns. I think
they still do that. DeAndre Swift did it in London.
What is the point of that is just to discourage
it because the NFL has gone a long way in
encouraging healthy sellf librations over the last five years. It's

(06:06):
one of the most exciting things in the world. At
a baseball game, if you can catch a baseball I'm
talking about home run, foul ball player toss them into
the stands, that is a life story. I'm asually, if
you caught a football and it's way less dangerous than
baseball is, it's not going to hurt you. It's not
as hard, it's not traveling as fast. What is the
punitive nature for DeAndre Swift tosses the ball into a
stands in a London game and some British person hopefully

(06:28):
gets the ball on his a life story. Why are
we finding people for that? I think we should find
them if they don't do it. Take number six, The
Chargers woke up. One of the sleepiest teams right now
was a two and two Jim Harbaugh team that goes
on a buy. No one's talking about, no one's that
impressed with him, and Justin Herbert's not doing anything. They
come out of the by and they wax this Broncos
team that had a thing going. Justin Herbert immediately looked

(06:48):
like the old Herbert. He had not got over one
hundred and eighty yards yet this season. He did it
quickly in this game. They still run, they play enough defense,
and I will still tell you right now, is the
Chargers sitting three and two. I think they're winning eleven
games this year. I said it when Harbaugh was hired.
I'm not going to deviate it from now. I think
this is an eleven and six football team, and I
think they're about to go on a run. Take number seven.

(07:09):
Texans are excellent. They're just an excellent team. That's all
I got. Take number eight. Nick Sirianni. Okay, so Sirianni
saw the footage and he's screaming at people in the stands,
and he's gesturing and he's pointing at himself, and he's
just basically talking bleep. And the common, easy every man take,
which I respect, is, dude, you just barely beat the terrible, terrible,

(07:32):
terrible terrible Browns and you have something to say about it.
You just eat by the Browns. I get that take.
I don't even disagree with that take. Nick Siriani is
a goober. That's the word I came up with for him.
I'm trying to describe different words. There's many words I
could say that I can't really say in media or
on TV. They're vulgar. But he's a goober, and a
goobri to find is someone who acts foolish and stupid sometimes,

(07:56):
but you still sort of like him when they do
it in spite of themselves, and they're still your buddy.
I have friends who are goobers. I'm a goober sometimes.
I look at Nick with his gooper sideline presence and
his goober haircut, and his goober sound bites and his
goober Rocky references, and that's just who he is. And
if Philadelphia Radio hates him for it, I don't begrudgs
you that point, you're very close to it. But he

(08:16):
has been a goober since he showed up. He has
been a goober in taking every Eagles team he's ever
coached to the playoffs. He was a goober on the
way to the super Bowl. He's a goober now. He's
going to goober next year on his next team. If
you fire him, you're not going to fire the goober.
That is just who he is. And if you don't
like it, then get rid of him. But don't expect
that all of a sudden next Rianne is going to
start acting presidential and understated. And if you watch that

(08:39):
clip I from me on in the stands, you may
hate it. The players are all laughing their asses off.
They seem to love it. CJ. Gardner Johnson, who talks
more trash than anybody in the league, is like, that's
my coach, and I love that he talks like that.
I don't want any other coach. It's pretty cool. Take
number nine. The New York Giants are so bad, and
they're so bad offensively, and they're so bad at home.
We're trying to support Daniel Jones. I don't like pincushions

(09:01):
and crash test dummies. We just beat up on mercilessly
as players. Dana Jones never hurt anybody. He's just not
that good at football. So we're trying over the last
few weeks to be like, you know what, Dan Jones
is good. In fact, he has almost identical numbers to
Patrick Mahomes this year if you put him side by side,
and it's true. And then he just goes and plays
an absolute nothing game like he always does in primetime
and he always does at home. But that kills me?
Is this the Giants one hundredth season. They're trying so

(09:23):
hard to honor their past. How many times are we
going to march out the old Giants? How many times
we have to see guys WHI love like Eli and
Justin Tuck and a close friend of mine Sean O'Hare.
When you do that and your team currently sucks and
they're embarrassing themselves, you start to feel like the guy
who still has like the prom garter belt and his
rearview mirror and still has the letter jacket and still

(09:44):
listens to White Snake. It's like, dude, your high school
days are over. We got to talk about the now.
You don't need your prom graduation tassel hanging from the
rear view next to that garter belt. Take number ten.
You got to know your kids. My kid, Calvin is
a left handed hitter who's playing baseball right now and
has struggle with his batting stance and his swing for
like six months. And I keep trying to get him

(10:04):
to not pull his right shoulder back because it's messing
up his swing. So I say, Calvity's a left ten.
Hit it to left center. Hit it to left center,
hit it over the short steps, said to left center,
that's what you want to do, and he just hasn't
been able to do it. I've told him that for
six weeks. He can't hit it to left center. This
past week's I said, Calvin, if you hit the left center,
I'll buy a PlayStation game. He said, what, first at
bat hits it to left center. It's unbelievable. He crushed

(10:25):
this thing like he was Prime Pirates, Barry Bonds before
all the Royds. As a lefty hitter, he just laced
one over the shortsteps head the second I said you
could get a PlayStation game, he did it. So the
answer is bribe your children with screen time or just
know what they respond to I'm really ashamed to say
my ten year old responds two video games. But if

(10:47):
my dad had told me he'd buy the new Zelda
cartridge back in nineteen eighty eight, and I needed to
hit one to right center because I'm a right handed hitter,
I could probably do it. I went over time. I'm
not supposed to do it. I broke my own rules.
That's ten takes. That's ten minutes. I give you a
perfect ten standing ovation, a five star Yelp review for
listening the listener my hero. We'll see you next week,
love you, see you, goodbye. Ten Takes is a production

(11:14):
of the NFL in partnership with iHeartRadio. For more iHeartRadio pods,
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