All Episodes

September 16, 2024 11 mins

Don't waste your time on podcasts that take all day, Kyle needs just 10 minutes of your time:

  • Jets fans are addicted to misery
  • 'The Intern' is worth a take
  • The Saints have the best offense in the NFL?
  • The Chiefs didn't win off of a 'bad' call
  • The Kyler Murray jokes are over
  • The Bear or The Bears?

Go watch 'The Intern' and we'll see you next Monday!

 

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership
with iHeartRadio. Ten Takes ten minutes. Symmetrical, simple, air tight, aerodynamic.
That's how we like to do our show. You listen

(00:25):
to it very quickly, just walking around the block, walking
the dog. As I've said many times before, we're big
on toilets. We don't apologize for it. Friend of mine
listens to the potty says, I like that. It's like
a newsletter. Like remember we used to get newsletters. Here
we are your weekly newsletter and the NFL. I don't
like too much fat at the top. Start the clock.

(00:45):
Take number one. The Bears are the same team I
watched last year and the year before, coming off the
Sunday night football game. Houston gets their props. They were
really good. Their defense is great, and Stroud is just
so smooth and so cool. Caleb Wims is not going
to be Stroud anytime soon. If that's the comp it's
the same thing I saw last year. How did Caleb
Williams look? He looked It's like justin fields, it was

(01:06):
like he was imitating them. He drops back because a
lot of check downs gets constantly rushed and harassed he's
a really good athlete. So he'll break a tackle, he'll
break two tackles, he'll break three sack attempts on one play,
but then the fourth one gets them. And if it doesn't,
he throws an interception. It's a really bad offensive line.
It's a good defense for them making plays and trying
to keep them in it, but the line can't help them.

(01:26):
The running game did nothing. If he's throwing, and it's
usually a checkdown when he goes deep, ever either overthrows
the guy or gets intercepted. I know it's only a
second game and we're not casting any permanent judgment, but
how does Caleb Williams look? He looks exactly like Justin
Fields used to look when he was on the Bears,
not winning, now on the Steelers, used to look on
the Bears and Bears fans you know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
It's not that it's bad, it's just not different. It's
bad and not different. Take number two.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Jets are going to be fine. I told you that
last week. I'm going to tell you that this week.
After a win, the Jets are going to be fine.
Jets fans are addicted to suffering, and I know that
you're trying to bend over backwards and twist and find
a way to Yesterday's win against the Titans was bad
because I guess you didn't beat him by enough, or
you didn't look more impressive than you did. You won,

(02:12):
Aaron Rodgers played a whole game. You won the game
you guys never win, and won. You won on the road.
And here's how I know it's okay. If I were
to go to you a month ago in the heart
of training camp and say, all right, after two weeks,
here's the deal on the table, and I slide it
across the desk. Rogers after two weeks is throwing three
touchdowns with one interception. He's completing sixty percent of his passes.

(02:33):
You guys did lose on the road to San Francisco,
but then week two you turned around and you won
at Tennessee. And now you'll have your home opener against
the Patriots. It sound good to you, you'd say, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
it's gonna be fine.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Don't worry about it. I'll get some more on you.
In a second. Take number three, the Saints have the
best offense in the league. What is this?

Speaker 1 (02:53):
What is going on in these Saints games because we
all kissed it off week one, because all right, they
played the Panthers. We're gonna say that every week. I'm
not talking about the Charges this week because they played
the Panthers. But then they went into Dallas and just
they put up forty something points. It was like Derek
Carr's only drives where he doesn't throw a touchdown pass
with the ones when they end up kicking.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
A field goal.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
It's really cool and really weird, and yet I still
don't trust it. There's such a built in prejudice against
sustained greatness from Derek Carr. I just all of us
are like, yeah, still just Derek Carr. We've wanted him
to be something for like a decade. He's never quite something.
But listen, I say, I'm gonna get to it in
a second. Week one is a liar. Week two is legit.

(03:34):
Week two the needles are not bouncing, and he looked
fantastic and loose, and I have to credit him.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
I can't be a hypocrite. It's still Derek Carr, though.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
Week number four or take number four, Week number two.
I've said this last week, all right, when I come
on the show and I say, week one is a liar.
Don't worry too much about the results. I really do
feel that way. Case in point, the Browns win on
the road, the Jets went on the road, the Raiders
went on the road, and an incredible win for that
team and that coach and those players. The problem is, though,

(04:02):
is this, and I'm getting around to this, one is
a liar. Week two tells the truth. If your team
was terrible yesterday on Week two, especially if they go
to zero and two, that is not good. I'm looking
at you, Jaguars, Colts, Rams, Cowboys. Just really really bad
games by those teams. I don't expect a lot from them.

(04:23):
The Ravens row and two for the first time since
twenty fifteen. And I did the thing a Good Morning
Football this morning. I say, hey, guess what the number
one movie was in the box office, And I brought
up the movie The Intern, which is a movie with
Robert de Niro and Ann Hathaway that looks totally insufferable
to me. And I'm a guy who's pretty accepting of
bad movies. And I went on the air and said, oh,
that movie's totally pointless. You will not believe The Intern

(04:45):
read it and the Intern Twitter Drew Swords to tell
me how charming that movie is. Our own producer here
wants to do the entire oral history of the Intern.
Everyone's fighting back at me the Intern it's good, it's charming.
I'm like, it looks completely obnoxious. And d Niro's collecting
a check like he's done for the last thirty years.
But you're listening to this right now, I'd be like,
shut up, Bran, I like the Intern. Take number five.

(05:06):
Every fan base is self loathing. Every single one I
mentioned the Jets are having a conversation about the Jets
before the show starts. I have a Jets fan in
the room with me right now who's like crestfallen and
depressed after a win, and I what is wrong with
you people? And he says, listen, man, I'm texting with
my friends the whole game about the team, where we

(05:26):
suck at this and we suck at that.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
I go listen.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
That's not a Jets fan thing. That's just a football
fan thing. Jets fans do not have some sort of
ownership of misery. I'm come from Chicago. You want to
see how Bears fans are texting today?

Speaker 2 (05:39):
But it doesn't matter. Every fan base is.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
I guarantee there's a bunch of text threads amongst Chiefs
fans right now who are like, we don't have it
this year. We had to work too hard to beat
the Bengals. Now Pacheco's hurt. That's what I'm saying. It's
not just the bad teams. The good teams are addicted
to it.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
The Saints.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
I just talked about two of the coolest weeks of
the Saints football I've seen in years, and I bet
Saints fans this morning are texting like, Eah, this won't last.
Enjoy it now because it's gonna be over. Don't ever
underestimate an NFL fans magnetic attraction to misery. No matter what,
they can always find the negative. And no one has

(06:15):
a doctorate in finding the negative more than Jets fans,
who are actually kind of mad that they won yesterday.
I don't know how to describe it. It's almost like
you would rather lose, and then you're just you have
the familiarity, but they're like, you don't.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Understand what it's like to be a Jets fan. Yes,
I do.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Every you know how many fan bases have to go
through this suck for years and lose for years.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
A lot of them.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
It's not just you take number six Bengals Chiefs was
a really fun game to watch. And I know this
is so cliche, it did feel like I was watching
a playoff game in January. Really intense, really chippy, personal fouls,
lead changes, defensive scores. The only take I want to
accept on that is, is anybody out there actually saying
that was a bad call in pass interference.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
It was not a bad call.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
It was a rookie defensive back who hit the guy
in the back right before he could catch it. But
I will say another take on that, when you're the official,
don't give us that huge, pregnant pause before you throw it,
because then on the call they're saying no flags, no flags. Oh,
now a flag comes in. And it seems as if
when you wait that long to flag a call that
was that obvious, that you were thinking about it, and

(07:21):
maybe you were weighing some factors outside of football, like
I don't know what stadium you're in, who threw the pass,
what pop star is watching, I don't even know. But
you have to be not only right, you got to
be quick in that big a moment, because it's not
the call that pissed everyone off. It's that it appeared
that they weren't gonna make the call, and then maybe
seem to look around and consider some secondary things, and

(07:42):
then they did make the call. Got to make it quickly.
Take number seven. Kyler Murray, my man. I never thought
I would say that sentence. He's no longer yours to
kick around funny people on the internet. You can still
make jokes about how he's short if you want. You
can still make jokes about you. But the's addicted to
video games if you want. He was fantastic yesterday against
the Rams. And Kyler Murray highlights are so fun to

(08:02):
watch because they're just so different for everybody else's. He
looks different, he runs different, he throws different. He's just
so small and so quick. It's genuinely unique from any
other quarterback highlights. And I'm going to throw down the
gauntlet here on ten takes. It's come to my attention
that on October twenty fifth of this year, there is
a new Call of Duty game coming out. It's Call
of Duty Black Ops six. I've done the work, I've
looked in the schedule. Two days after that game is released,

(08:25):
the Arizona Cardinals play at the Miami Dolphins, which you
know two s side is a very talented team and
a very difficult stadium to play in. I am promising
you that two days after that Call of Duty game
comes out, Kyler Murray is going to be brilliant. I'm
talking about four touchdowns total, one running, three passing. We
can play back the clip them. I think he has
passed all that. I think the Cardinals are going to
go to the playoffs as a wild card. I predicted

(08:46):
before the season. They almost one week one in Buffalo,
they couldn't finish, and they just absolutely destroyed Sean mcvay's
team yesterday.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Kyler no longer a punch line, at least not for me.
Take number eight.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
I am so pissed off at myself from not picking
Tampa Bay to win the NFC South. I got washed
up in this allure of the Atlanta Falcon and I'm like, well,
Cousins is a good quarterback, and they got Bejean, they
got blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
The Bucks look so tough and so good.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
I mentioned this about Kansas City and Cincinnati, but Detroit
Tampa felt like it's a playoff game too. It's just
it just meant more. If you watch the game, even
on red Zone, you could pick it up. Every time
you would go to that game. It felt like the
volume was higher. There was bad coaching decisions that felt playoff,
like from Dan Campbell. The Aiden Hutchinson has this seminal game,
probably the biggest game he'll ever have in his career

(09:31):
if he plays another fifteen years and Detroit still loses.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
And that's how tough Tampa is.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
That's why I'm so mad that I picked Atlanta, who
I'm sure has Kirk Cousins that I had a MONDAYNT
football and that never goes wrong.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
Take number nine.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Youth flag football coaching is the most draining coaching there is.
As a dad who's not a professional, I've done it
almost all. Baseball is not too hard because you kind
of just set the lineup and the games a little slower.
I've never coached soccer. Basketball is extremely difficult because it's
sixty minutes of straight screaming.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's NonStop action.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
It's go there, go there, pass it here, a pass
it here, pass it here. Even during breaks on free throws,
you're talking to your team NonStop. There's no chilling at
all but the flag football. Getting these kids to line
up and do the same thing and carry out the fake.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
It's so draining.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
After I coach a flag football game, I feel like
I ran an iron man. I will never do that,
but I coach flag football every single week. Take number ten.
I guess everybody kissed the bears butts at the Emmy's
last night. And it's categorized as a comedy. The Bear,
the show about the chef, Yes chef, no chef is
a comedy. Why was that allowed to happen. It's so stupid.
That is the farthest thing from comedy. Sometimes it's funny,

(10:37):
but it's like a pure drama.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
I have more to say, but I'm out of time.
It's not called eleven takes in eleven minutes, it's ten takes.
I've given you ten. I do it in ten minutes.
I want to talk.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
More about the Bear, and I want to talk more
about Jets fans. I'd rather much talk about the Bear
than the Bears, and it's a much better topic. The
Bear's sort of our comedy. See, I'm breaking my own rule.
I gotta go, guys, I hope you're on the toilet.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
You finished. It was a good one.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
If you finish your cigarette, everybody enjoy it. We will
see you next week. Ten Takes ten minutes. There's your newsletter.
Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership
with iHeartRadio. For more iHeartRadio pods, go to the iHeartRadio app,

(11:23):
go to Apple, go anywhere you like.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
It'll be there.
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Kyle Brandt

Kyle Brandt

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