January 7, 2016 • 58 mins
In episode 11, Gregg Rosenthal and Anthony Jeselnik try and make sense of Johnny Manziel allegedly using a disguise in Las Vegas, Eli Manning's tears and Brian Urlacher's hair.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to episode eleven of The Rosenthal and jessel Nick
Vanity Project JVP. This is the part where Anthony says
something totally crazy. You tell him I'm coming, and Hill's
coming with me. I've got a plus one. Right. Energy
(00:28):
in the studio is good today. Anthony's feeling fresh. I
don't know what it is. It's the new year, and
you're kind of it's like you're in boxing shape or something.
This is two sixteen, Anthony. I mean, I haven't working
out for months, training, training for this podcast. Uh so
I am. I'm feeling good. I'm looking good. I've got
a lot of energy. You've got You've got some motivation
(00:48):
with the new year. That's right, that's right to prove
people wrong. I'm highly motivated to strangle this year to
death with my bare hands. My only revenge is success,
is what I keep yelling in my sleep. Um, I'm
ex I did. I want to ask a happy New Year.
First of all, a happy new Year to all our
podcast listeners. I want to ask Greg. I know that
you know Greg's wife, Emmica is is Japanese, like off
(01:09):
the boat Japanese, Like couldn't be more Japanese. She grew
up in Orange County until she was eight. If she
was if she was any more Japanese, it would be offensive.
Uh so, and the Japanese people are lovely people for
the most part, have a lot of traditions for New
Year's even New Year's Day, it's like a big thing.
So I'm interested in what you had to do. I
(01:30):
asked you, like, what are you doing? And you, first
of all, did not invite me to any of the things.
So I assumed that it was kind of like a
family thing, like oh, you could always just assumed you
wouldn't want to go. That's true. There wasn't a lot
of planning ahead. I knew you didn't want to necessarily
get up the next morning, which is part of it.
So you know the night before, Uh, there's a traditional meal,
some sober noodles, very good, you know, nothing crazy. Uh.
(01:52):
I mean it's not it like just sober noodles because
I've had those. Yeah, it's nothing crazy. There's some other
you know, little stuff that look what like this is
what I'm intes student, I want to know. I don't really,
I don't really know the night before because you know,
part of the reason Emmaca gets probably annoyed is we've
boiled it down a little bit. We've got a couple
of kids where you know, we had to run to
the grocery store the Japanese market that on New Year's
(02:13):
Eve because we hadn't had time to do it by then.
It's already you know, run out of a lot of things,
and you know she was upset about that, so we
have to go to another market trying to find about. Well,
there's these these little swirly sort of cake cake things,
and that's what you have on New Year's morning. So
that's that's really the big meal. You wake up on
New Year's morning and you have a breakfast slash brunch,
(02:37):
I guess, but pretty much right when you wake up,
they've got these fermented like or not fermented breakfast slash
brunch you mean brunch, Yeah, well it really is breakfast.
You've got some sweet beans that that like cook and
marinate for twenty four hours. My you know Emmaca Ellis
loves this. Our daughter Ellis loves those. You've got these
(02:57):
sort of cake things with swirl on it. Now I'm
him get made fun of by anyone that's Japanese, and
definitely my wife for not knowing what these things. There's
a soup, there's a soup kind of a certain type
of chicken soup that that you have. Uh, there's all
sorts of things, you know, I think in Japan and
when we first started doing it there, it's like an
array of twelve thirteen things. Now it's maybe you know,
(03:19):
we've got the kids and everything, it's boiled down some
I don't know. I mean I heard of sweet beans
and I was a sweet beans sounds dope. So that
and so after that, after like the breakfast thing, after
the brunch, is that it or Yeah, there's no other
traditions like New Year's Day. There's no like ritual sacrifice,
if that's what you're getting at. I don't know. I
don't mean a ritual sacrifice. I know you guys save
that for Easter. But I I just I'm interested in
(03:43):
in how you guys do. I know there's like lucky numbers,
like when you guys got married. Yeah, you had to
get married on a certain day because we had a
Friday wedding because Saturday that particular week and that month
of that particular year was really bad luck. Yeah. I'm
just I'm just I'm just interested. Uh, yeah, that sounds
like a fun New Year's even Newyears Day? Did you
guys have champagne or did you? Maybee stayed up. She
(04:04):
stayed up, stayed up awake a little bit and watched
watched the Ball drop. It's about it. I mean we
watched Netflix and then switched it to the ball about
five minutes before watched You watched Thoughts and Prayers. You
watch my Netflix special on New Years. We've watched that
every week. Actually, that's awesome. Everyone should Thoughts and Prayers
on Netflix again. That was the reason that I started
doing this podcast. Um, it's been it's been so long,
(04:25):
I forgot it. Um. I had kind of a I
had a fun New Year's I went to I went
to a party. My friend John mulaney had had a
had a party. I had to dress up another person
with a special on Netflix. I know you don't that's
right now. He's he's the I'm very proud of John.
He's the second the second best special on Netflix right now.
Very funny. It was a fun party that we had
to dress up. We had to wear suits, and I
(04:46):
squeezed into one of my suits from last Comic Standing,
which was like months ago, and I thought, all, this
will totally fit me, and it was. I felt like, uh,
I felt like a sausage. I feel like squeezed. That
that's why we've got the motivated Jesse Like, No, it's
like I've I'm jacked. It's like it's all muscle, you
know what I mean. It's not fat, it's all it's
all muscle. You're looking at me like you're skeptic, jealous. Um.
(05:08):
I had. I had a fun week after New Year's
I went up to uh me and me and Roger
Me and Roger Goodell. We we went up to the
Federal Wildlife Preserve in Oregon, uh really and just hung out.
You know. We had Roger Mr Goodell as I like
to call him, or as you should call him. He's
your boss. You know, he's got a bunch of friends
in the militia. We ate chili, had a couple of
beers and just kicked it, you know, kicked it hard,
(05:30):
a lot of high fives. He's a high five kind
of guy. Uh And then, oh my god, this this
is like maybe my thing. I'm most excited about it.
But this podcast this week is you know, it was
week seventeen on on Sunday, and I won a bunch
of money. I was in a I was in a
gambling pool all season long, and it all came down
to week seventeen and I if I was in second place,
(05:51):
I would have won four hundred dollars come in first.
I came in first and won eighteen hundred dollars. That
is a big difference, eighteen hundreds in second places four hundred.
I couldn't do that, of course, because I'm an NFL employee.
There's no gambling. But that's that's crazy. It's a head
to head competition, uh, where there's a tournament. Really you know,
(06:12):
you try to pick all the games right all year
and then it's almost like a fantasy league where there's
eight teams left, eight guys, and you're picking against them,
and you got to the finals and it's close going
into the last Sunday and it comes right down to
Raiders Chiefs Chiefs favored by seven. And it's crazy that
that big difference, fourteen hundred dollar difference comes down to
(06:34):
the Raiders getting a last minute garbage touchdown back door
cover that wins you the money. That's right, I won
the money. Then you drop them, you drop them because
them like that was little Wayne, that was great. Let's
(06:59):
do what was cut? So hyped? That song like describes
me how I feel right now. It is the tesla
nick this week compared to the last week. Oh yeah,
last week I was ready to quit. Uh. This week,
this week, I think El Nino has super charged me.
What was cut? This is a fun what was cut?
Because these are things that we've been talking about for
weeks and trying to get under the radar, but we
(07:20):
keep on getting them cut out. So let me do.
Let me do my best, which is again extraordinary. One
of the things that was cut. These are all these
are all gonna be Goodell related. These are all things
that I said Goodell did, so let me try to
now describe them without getting them cut. I said that
someone um played music a k A. Scored a famous
(07:47):
football players funeral. I said that we were talking about
the song fifty nine Miles to Jacksonville Class the unofficial
soundtrack of r j VP. I know I'm in a
good mood when that doesn't drive me up the wall
the first time you play it. I said that someone
(08:07):
someone who was involved in the making him that song
in order to get that certain singer to sing the song,
or she wanted the job and she had to do
things to get the job. I think I got I
think I got by a thing, the thing that got bleeped.
This is Greg. This is all Greg. Greg. There's a
there's a nickname people say for people if you are
(08:31):
kind of a like a jobber. I think you would
call it's a football term too, for the type of
player that wouldn't even make a raster. He's just there
in the summer. He's not gonna He's not even gonna
make the team. He's just a slapstick. Is a slapstick
only only instead of stick, you throw a D in there. Uh,
slap Nixon. I like to say, Uh, we had a
(08:52):
um A go O D damn situation. You're allowed to
say damn. You can't throw a god in front of it.
That's what makes a blasphemy and we can't have that
here at the NFL. Uh. I think Greg no I
threw an F bomb in uh last week. I threw
an F bomb. Um. And then I had someone, a
certain someone we described him doing doing an R and
B song and that the video was like the video
(09:15):
of D'Angelo where he's He's not naked, described him as
one of the three black people I knew exactly exactly them,
and then one of the guys from Trip called Quest
and then little Wayne. Uh, those are the three that
he did a video for the song and he wasn't
wearing any clothes and which I that was a ridiculous image,
but we cut it to save Greg's job. Um. And
then we had to cut a whole swath from my
(09:38):
predictions where I kind of went on a rant about
about j C. The Jay christ Is I like to
call him. I was describing you know, his appearance uh
and his ethnicity uh for quite some time and that
was all cut, and then we really had to take
an axe. Two tweets from my girl, Miko Grimes shout
(09:58):
out to Miko um Eco had a lot of tweets
about Tannehill that were extremely uh, extremely offensive. Yeah, included
some sexual acts. Although I really wasn't happy when I
listened to it Brandon, our producer, that he cut out
one of the tweets. I think it could have been
left in there. That included getting some reporters the same
(10:20):
you know he was she was going to go at
the reporters um with magic Johnson's Johnson. I think we
can say that and give them um okay, yeah, I
mean there were the things I've gotten listed here are
basically like a body, bodily fluids, just the one but
different like different words for them. And then of course
referencing Magic Johnson. And that was what was cut stock.
(10:54):
That was DMX classic. That was impressive, Anthony, what was
you just killed? That? That was to get through it
all the way? What if we could have a show,
and if you're a new listen into the show, every
show we go through what was edited out of the
last show before we start our world famous headlines. What
if we got through a show and didn't have to
do anything what was edited? Is that like the ultimate point? No,
(11:16):
I would consider that a failure if we didn't, if
I didn't push it too far, Like if I don't,
if I don't get something bleeped out, I feel like
I haven't done my job, you know what I mean.
It's your job to try to keep it on the rails.
It's my job to uh to get this train right off.
I want to I'm looking at a death train. Touchdow Well,
let's got have been more appropriate. Let's get to those headlines.
(11:37):
I thought you want to talk about the gift. Oh,
that's right, we should talk about the two songs that
we've listened to so far. Yeah, that was not an accident.
We didn't just pick those out of a hat. Greg explained,
the only two songs that we can use in this
show before we have to go to NFL approved NFL
programmed music. And we don't know what those songs are
(11:58):
going to be the NFL songs. They're just from the
NFL brarie. They could have been produced or performed by anyone.
We don't know. But I once I hear it, I
know I know who it was, and I'll try to
describe it as best I can. But the first two
songs are songs that were featured in a in a
book that was sent to me from a loyal listener
of r j VP, my uncle Dave, who sent me
(12:18):
a package, and it's probably going to be the last
package I remember I ever get in my life. Addressed
to Greg Rosenthal of r j VP, I wanted to
be so negative. It's the new year. I'm excited, and
you know you gotta say you're not gonna get more
pack j VP. That would be cool if I did.
And it's a great book, The Rap Yearbook by Say Serrano,
former grant Land writer. It goes through each year since
(12:40):
hip hop started and picks the definitive rap song of
that year, explains why has people arguing for against it,
why it's such a great song, why it's important. Was
going to be the president I gave to you for
your birthday and Christmas? But it wasn't in the store,
and so I never did. So now it's perfect. Now
it's it's sent to our j VP. Are you trying
to get it for a president that you wanted to
(13:01):
get me? Well, I'll let you borrow it or whatever.
But people should check out the book. Shout out to
Grantly and shout out to Bill Simmons, Greg and I'll
see you in heaven Bill. Okay. First headline. Tom Coughlin
retired this week after that's that's true, he stepped away
from the New York Giants. I'm blowing it already. He
(13:21):
he stepped down as the head coach of the Giants.
Certainly some question whether he was forced to do that.
Believe that you know, he clearly was. Uh, it sounded
like he wanted to still keep coaching. But it was
an emotional day in New York. He had been there
for twelve years, and he had a press conference packed
to the gils with players, reporters, a hundred cameras. He
(13:44):
was if you don't like Tom Coughlin, this this press
conference might make you like him. And you kind of
can see how well he can command a room. It
was very emotional him saying goodbye to all his players
and his friends and everything like that. Any Line Manning,
of course, well, I love I mean I love Tom Coughlin.
He one two of the greatest what what what Steelers
fans referred to as the greatest non Steelers super Bowl victories? Uh,
(14:07):
for sure one both of those taken down the Mighty Pats.
One of those was my first super Bowl ever. So
you're that's what that made it even better? I was.
I was very happy to uh to to see that happened. Uh.
My favorite part of the Coughlin press conference was when
he talked to Eli Manning and he Eli got a
little emotional as Coughlin was leaving. I think Eli kind
(14:29):
of blamed himself and uh and Coughlin. Coughlin talked to
him a little bit, talked to Eli directly during the
press conference. Play a clip of that, it's not your fault,
all right, it's not your fault. See that was I
mean that, that was great. He talked for just a
couple of seconds, and then later on he talked to
him again. Reference again it's not your fault, all right,
(14:49):
it's not your fault. Really really emotional stuff. Um. Eli
was crying, Uh, full blown, full blown Obama new Town
tears up there and uh. And it was again one
of the things I don't like seeing from quarterbacks. You're
allowed to cry once as a football player, and that
is when you retire, and even then, I'm not I'm
not thrilled about it, but watching cry during a press
(15:11):
conference was a little a little upsetting. Uh, play well,
you know, play one more clip from at the very end,
it's not your fault, all right, it's not your fault. Yeah,
it just kept this all sounds similar, but trust me,
they're all very different. It was very emotional, and it
was bad luck for Eli that the associated press camera
got right up in his face because he was sitting
(15:33):
in the back. And yet there's this video online that
the cameras right on Elie's face and his lip you
can like see it quivering, like trying. A lot of
people in our newsroom thought that was a really genuine,
cool show of emotion that made that in dearity lie
man into them. But not you because you're heartless. You know,
I'll tell you. It endeared me that he tried to
(15:53):
hold back the tears that he did his best. I
like that, like the lip quiver. If you lip quiver,
and that's it awesome. You show a little emotion, but
you don't go too far with it, you know what
I mean. People don't cry. And I'm not saying men
don't cry. I'm saying people, when I see women cry,
get a little mad, like get it together, Get it together, ladies.
Pretty much the Anthony jessel Nick guide to life right there,
(16:15):
Like don't don't let don't show too much emotion. Never
we'll see a crack. That was Roger Goodell. Goodell plays
(16:36):
a guitar like Nobody's business. People think, oh, is that
Bo Diddley. No, that's Roger Goodell making fun of Bow
Didley kind of like a parody of Bo Diddley. It's
it's excellent. This next story, Greg is near and dear
to my heart. It is my favorite story of the week,
if not the season. It is unbelievable that Johnny Manzel
(16:56):
continues to top himself every week. According to ESPN Las Vegas,
Johnny Manziel was at a night last Las Vegas nightclub
last weekend, Saturday night, Saturday, the night before game right
the night before they faced your Steelers in their season finale.
Wearing a blond wig, a fake mustache, glasses, and a hoodie.
(17:21):
He introduced himself around to the tables and everyone as Billy.
This is incredible. I mean, people talk about to talk
about Manzell being a bust. Did not see this coming.
Because now he's worth every penny. He's worth that draft pick.
That is the greatest thing I have ever heard, ever heard.
(17:45):
It's insane that you would in order to go out,
that you would have to put on a disguise. All
he had to do was wait twenty four hours, right,
and then go with the Vegas and no one would
ever care. He wore a disguise and thought that it
would work, and you know what it did. There are
no pictures of this, which is which is a total shame.
I almost when I think out there were no pictures.
(18:06):
Greg I almost cried, um, I love that. People said
that the next day on Sunday, before even the story
came out about the disguise, that Manzel did not show
up for a Sunday morning concussion protocol at nine am
with the Browns. My question, how do they know he
wasn't there? You know what I mean? He could have easily.
He could have easily been there in disguise. You never
(18:32):
know where he's gonna pop up. He could be He
could be here right now, Brandon. Is that you can't tell?
I can't could be Johnny. I mean, the funny thing
is he goes to all that length, first of all,
because he just has to go to Vegas, Like is
it that much fun to go to Vegas and and
and be in a disguise and have no one know
(18:54):
who you are? And he didn't even he tried to.
He didn't bring cash and he didn't want to put
it on his car. He just asked them to comp it, right,
he said, He said, well, he said, I don't want
to use my card when you just comped this whole night.
And they said, that's not how the economy works. You
don't just get to say, listen, I don't feel like
using my card, go ahead and camp me. You know what,
what else is great? Yeah, he asked people to call
(19:17):
him Billy, which was great. That just can't be comfortable
to wear disguise all night in Vegas. I wouldn't want
to wear a hat in Vegas all night in the club.
You know. He had to have been kind of miserable.
I'm sure he regrets it now, but he shouldn't because
now I hear that the Cowboys want him. The Cowboys
want to get him, and they should want him. He's
a master of disguise. We'll take it a little further.
(19:41):
If he's going to go to that much trouble to
hide it from the team, then why do you not
show up the next morning for a concussion protocol. That's
how this whole story really came out. By the by
the end of the night, Peter King is reporting it
on NBC that he missed the concussion protocol, that the
Browns want nothing to do with him, and oh, by
the way, he wants to play for the Cowboys. So
Jerry Jones is now saying, yeah, we would take a
(20:03):
chance on some troubled quarterbacks, just you know, speaking vaguely,
because he knows he can't talk about Menzel. So Manzel,
this is all part of his master scheme. I can
go to the Cowboys. Yeah, maybe he's smarter than you think. Well,
I mean, it's not as if he had shown up
for that concussion protocol, if they would have been like, oh,
welcome back next year, like thanks for thanks for fulfilling
all our dreams by showing up at nine am so
(20:24):
that we can have you sit, uh sit in the
locker room. I don't blame him for that at all.
And if I did blame him, he would have redeemed
himself with the disguise that was Roger Goodell. Uh. Goodell
(20:50):
didn't actually he didn't play the song. It was kind
of Uh. I forget the name of the band, but
it's featuring Roger Goodell and the video, if you remember,
is a DJ and then front of the DJ is
Roger Goodell and he's swinging glow sticks. He's swinging him
around and he's wearing it. This guy is very much
like Johnny Manzels. This next headline is my second favorite
(21:14):
headline of the week, and this is a big Ben.
Big Ben Roethlisberger, my quarterback extraordinaire reacting to fans in Cleveland. Uh,
like Steelers fans in Cleveland cheering when they when they
heard that the Jets lost the Pitts. Pittsburgh needed the
Jets to lose to get into the playoffs. They needed
to win, and they were already winning. There's been a
minute left in the game, two minutes maybe, and Ben,
(21:36):
here's loud cheering going on behind him, loud cheering. The
Steelers fans famously traveled very well. There are a lot
of Steelers fans at that Cleveland game. And Uh, the
quote from Ben is fantastic. They said, Ben, what did
you think when you heard all that cheering? And he
was confused. He said, I heard some cheering, so I
looked and assumed it was a fight, a Steelers fan
(21:57):
beating up a Browns fan or something. And that's the
whole quote. That is amazing that his first reaction to
hearing cheering in Cleveland stadium is to imagine that Steelers
fans are beating up a Browns fan in their own stadium.
That's how far it's gone, That's how far it's fallen.
It's been a tough run for the Browns here lately.
The worst the last five coaches that have been fired
(22:20):
by the Browns. First of all, the last five coaches
to lose their jobs in the a f C North
have all been Browns coaches. So the Ravens, the Steelers,
and the Bengals have all had coaches and the Browns
are gonna be on their sixth, you know. Second of all,
at this point, every time the Steelers play them in
Week seventeen, they fire their coach. All five of those
(22:41):
coaches were fired after facing your Steelers. They're basically the
harbinger of doom. Were the coach killers the Steelers, they're
deposing coach killers. Uh. Yeah. Cleveland has had a rough
go of it, but I think if there's one silver lining,
it's that they still have Johnny Manziel on the roster
and he's like having two quarterbacks touchdown. That was Roger
(23:18):
Adelle's brother. He has a brother who also plays music.
And if you know Roger, he likes to surf. And
he asked his brother, he said, would you would you
learn a little Dick Dale and play something from me
while I'm surfing? And his brother said no, and then
eventually eventually did it. And that's what that song was.
I don't know what it's called. It's pretty good. Very
dick Dale like, very Dickdale like. So the Browns h
(23:42):
made a big move this week. I don't know if
you're aware of this. They made a big front office move,
very surprising. They hired an executive from baseball. I did
hear this from the Mets, The Mets vice president, right,
Paul de Podesta. So they literally went and hired the
guy that was Jonah Hill's character in Moneyball, that that
(24:04):
is Paul Dee Podesta. They kind of changed it around
significantly and just made him a different guy in that movie.
But essentially they hired the guy that was Jonah Hill
to run their entire football operation. And people are questioning
this move. They're saying, why would you hire a baseball guy?
Here's the Browns, Here's what the Browns were thinking, Here's
what Cleveland was thinking. The first offer they made was
not the Dee Podesta. The first offer they made was
(24:25):
actually to Jonah Hill, and they couldn't afford him. Jonah
Hill turn him down several times, and they said, well,
what's the second best thing? What can we do from here?
Should we try to get Michael Sarah? We can't get
Michael Sarah. Let's get Dee Podesta. Let's get the guy
that he played in Moneyball, who was next on the
list after Michael Sarah, the kid who played mclovin. Let's
(24:45):
think of that too. It's gonna make a minse plast joke,
great minds number. Wow that for a long time r
(25:07):
j VP listeners, you know what a treat that was
for me to hear. Brandon told me when I walked
in the studio that I had a surprise coming and
nailed it. Really knocked that out of the park. And
you know what, I like that version a lot better.
I haven't been a big fan of the song, but
when I heard that one, and that was clearly if
everyone knows that's Johnny cash Uh playing um he recorded
it just just a year ago. But excellent, excellent song,
(25:31):
and I kind of I kind of dig it's kind
of changed the way that I feel about Jacksonville. If
if in our if a Rosenthal and Jessel Nick Vanity
Project r j v B listener is out there and
they can show us proof that they are fifty nine
miles to Jacksonville at that moment, maybe some sort of
street signed I don't know we'll give you something. Well,
(25:51):
we'll have you. We'll have Greg's uncle send you a
book that you're supposed to give me for Christmas. Uh.
Next headline, let's talk about the Bills fans and just
give them a round of applause, really for the amazing
season that they've had, giving us so much enjoyment. Every
week Bills fans doing something crazier and crazier. We've talked
about it on the show, and for week seventeen, the
(26:14):
big finale, a Bills fan lit himself on fire after
jumping on a broken wooden board. No, it's not a
wooden it's a They jumped through tables. That's like the
big thing. The guy jumps to a table that's on
fire to set a table on fire. Then he jumps
through it. He was like a backslam. His back is
on fire. The guy runs away and then runs back
(26:36):
to the table. He's still on fire, so's the table.
And then they put out the fire with beer. They
poured beer all over him. Every single person in the video,
and there are dozens of people in this video, they
are all laughing. Everyone is enjoying this poor bastard on fire. Uh,
it is, it is great, and I love what I
love about the Bills. Not only did they take out
the Jets, which I really needed this week to get
(26:57):
into the playoffs. Uh. If the playoffs, I might I
might not have shown up. If if we didn't make
the playoffs, if my season was over now, i'd be
I'd be pretty upset. Um, But I like that the
Bills have picked it up each week, you know. I
mean it starts with like a table slam, and then
it's like a guy slamming a guy into a table.
It just keeps going and going that I love it.
(27:17):
And uh, and I'm sorry, my cell phone's going off.
I'm blown up. Probably got a job. Nope, it's my sister. Um,
maybe he deals with my sister. That would explain a lot.
I would explain a lot. I like to know what
the Bills fans are gonna do next year to top this.
(27:38):
After you slam yourself through a table on fire and
catch on fire and have your friends put you out
with beer, what's next? Like, Greg, what do you think
it is going to be the thing next year for
the Bills fans? Well, the craziest thing they did this year,
it was really a lot of sexual acts so maybe
maybe they could light themselves on fire while in the
middle of like them doesn't find and put their hands
(27:59):
in each other's pan. That could be that would keep
everybody warm. I think if I'm gonna and I don't
think I'm talking out of school here, public beheadings. That
was the Godets, the Cadets. Roger Goodell tried to put
(28:20):
together a girl group. If you if you follow the
show Empire, you know they're always trying to put together
girl groups and h it's kind of it's kind of
ripped from the headlines of Roger Goodell's life. He tried
to put together the Goodets and they just couldn't get
it together. You know. It's it's it's four women their
period sync up and they just start going ballistic and
they can't they can't get it together in the booth
(28:41):
and it just didn't It didn't work out. So the Cadets,
that was their only song, the only song. You actually
you just described the plot to Sistershood of a Traveling
Pants three. Is that the thing that that's what happened? No, no,
but I do want to tell you that, uh I
won sarad Emma my wife haughing in the other room,
and then I kind of walked over to find out
(29:02):
what it was, and it was you making the joke
about Roger Goodell and the Godets. She just loved, just
loved that that image. Is this not the first time
I made that joke? If I made it before? Yeah,
I think you call them that at one point. I
mean they've they've they've helped out earlier. Their music was
on an earlier program. I forgot that well. He fronted
a group. He fronted them for a little while, and
(29:23):
then he tried to let them do like a spinoff
to their own thing. It was like, I'm busy, uh surfing.
Then then then it all kind of fell apart. It's tough.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver Mike Evans was ejected from
last week's game against the Panthers for disrespecting disrespectfully addressing yes,
(29:44):
which has never been done before. Have you do you
think this has ever happened that the players gotten injected
for disrespectfully addressing an official. When when you brought that
up to me, I thought, sure that happens all the time,
but that really only happens in basketball, constant baseball. You know,
if you yell at the officials. You you never really
see it, and they even give you. In baseball, they
give you, they give you some rope you've really got,
(30:06):
You've really got a pull on that rope to hang yourself.
In baseball, basketball, they're a little more ready. They're willing
to give it to you because everyone knows what you
said on the court. But in football it's unheard of.
It is unheard of. And here's what he said. Here's
what he said that you can hear if you really
play the audience. This is gonna get bleeped for sure,
There's no way around it. He just says, I don't
know what the ref says to him. I think he's
trying to get a flag for past interference. It's it's uh,
(30:28):
Mike Evans wide receivers trying to get the flag and
the ref doesn't give it to him. The ref says
something to him, and he says, you know what, ref,
I don't give a boom flag. Gone ejected, which makes
me think, and then the referee has to say he
has to get on the mic and say he's being
ejected for disrespectfully addressing an official, which is the weakest
(30:51):
thing I've ever heard. It's like he's the most sensitive
referee in the world. He's the most sensitive referee since
Billy Crystal from Forget Paris, a movie I've never seen,
but I remember the commercial in the trailer. Do you
guys remember this. I'm looking at these suns in the booth,
were waiting Sydneys back there, who produced an episode a
few weeks ago. Of course she's been hotail. We now
(31:13):
actually bring her to watch each show just to make Brandon, uh,
there's fifteen years younger than and it was it was
like it was like Billy Crystals. No one remembers that movie.
I don't remember that. I remember it existed. But do
you guys remember the movie? What was the one with
Meg Ryan? Which one which I've never seen. Did he
just did? The one wasn't? And Forget Paris? W Harry
(31:35):
met salth He did When Harry met sal was a
huge hit. I've never seen that. But then a couple
of years later, who tried to recapture the magic with
Forget Paris? And he plays a basketball referee And I
remember the commercials because there's a terrible scene where and
this is like years after Cream and bul Jabbar retired
but he's on the court and he throws out he
teas up Crem blul Jabar and kicks him out of
the game. And Cream says, but it's my farewell game.
(31:57):
And Creem is an amazing actor as we all know,
but it's my farewell game. And Billy Crystal, with a
big smile on his face, says, will let me be
the first to say farewell, and with a big smile,
as if people wouldn't lose their minds if you kicked
Kareem out of his farewell game. Billy Crystal way too
sensitive to be a referee, and that's why that's why
(32:18):
no one respects him to this day. That was Roger Goodell. Obviously,
you guys, I mean, if you guys are been paying attention,
you know you can kind of tell his style. That
(32:39):
was a song. Remember when Atlantis Morrisset was huge. He
was His biggest goal besides becoming NFL commissioner was to
write a song for Atlantis Morisset and he kept sending
her that almost almost every day. Uh. It was the
song was supposed to be about The lyrics were going
to be about Uncle Jesse from Full House. As we
all know, you ought to Know was about Uncle Joey.
(33:02):
This was gonna be about Uncle Jesse or conflicted feelings
for Uncle Jesse on full House. But he never got
the lyrics together and never worked out. But the song,
the song lives on. The song lives like the Brandon
and Sydney behind behind the Glass are pretty like do
you even know you ought to Know? By Atlantis more? Yeah, okay,
you never know. That's that's Sydney's a ring tone. It
(33:24):
is it is. He nailed it edited because that was
so two thousand fifteen. That was Goodell Again, that was
Goodell's early stuff that way, he tried to get that
(33:47):
that well. That was a rejected opening credit sequence from
Saved by the Bell The College Years when he worked
in television in the beginning of his career. And not
a bad song, not a great song. I think what
they ended up going with first Saved by the Bell
The College Years was even better. Mike Again, that was
also Bob go look in that in that theories. A
lot of people, you know, downplay that series because it's
(34:08):
not as good as the original, you know, the Saved
by the Bell. But Bob Golick in that series is incredible.
I wasn't like a great performance. I wasn't a big
sit by the bell guy. I was Dukes of Hazzard
or g TfL uh. This our last headline of the
week is something everyone's been talking about, especially Brian or Lacker.
Brian or Lacker, famous Bears linebacker, one of the best
(34:32):
Bears linebackers of all time, and that's saying something has
hair all of a sudden for the first time in
his life. Yeah, he came out and he essentially was
a promoting a group that you know regrows hair, and
he had this big reveal. While he's you know, sponsored
by this this local company, it doesn't seem like it's
(34:53):
some big company in Chicago. And he basically hit the
airwaves in Chicago, all the local radio, local television so
that people can see his hair. And it looks completely
insane because you've never seen him with hair, and it looks,
you know, like asteroid terif essentially, No, I think I disagree.
I think it looks good. Like if you had never
seen him before, you'd be like, oh, that's normal hair.
And if he was like I'm Brian or Lacker's brother,
(35:15):
He's like, Okay, I see what's up. Because the Lacker
always shaved it. He wasn't like going bald. You never
saw him with kind of like a like a balding
kind of thing like that. You just assume that person,
if they do that, is bald. Why would you do
that otherwise? What do you mean? Don't you just assume
everyone that bicks their hair is bald. Yeah, But it's
like this, like if you if the first time you
met me, I had long hair like down to my shoulders,
(35:35):
you wouldn't You wouldn't think I thought anything of it.
But if I walked in now with hair down on
my shoulders, you'd like, what's going on? So the first
time you see someone, that's the thing where knowing him
the way you've known him your whole life. That's why
it's weird. But I think the hair actually looks good.
It looks pretty natural. My favorite thing is the quote,
the quote that he gave on one of the news programs,
or Lacker says, I know I look a little better,
(35:56):
a little better. He's promoting this thing that it was
him for Freeze. I know I look a little better
because I was going to a fancy restaurant one day
and I had my hat off by accident. What does
that even mean? I was getting food and this girl goes,
you look like Brian or Lacker, but he's a lot
older looking than you. First of all, that never happened,
he says. This was when I had hair. She goes,
(36:19):
you look a lot older than you. I was like,
you're right, thank you. So basically she was telling me
I look kind of young. I love. He does the
story and then has to sum it up at the end. Uh,
Brian or Lacker? Uh, pretty good hair. My I got
a theory about this, Greg, What that people that use
the word fancy restaurants usually don't go to fancy restaurants.
(36:42):
I've been the people who use the word fancy restaurants
only take their hat off by accident. Air quotes. I
I wonder if it really was Brian or Lacker. Could
have been Johnny Man's that goes and comes around Oma.
(37:09):
That was me? Wow, yep, that was me. Now it's
time for a segment. Loyal r j VP listeners know
that we do this every single week. It's one of
my favorite segments. I know it's Greg's uncle's favorite segment.
It's time for Who's had sex on Christmas Eve? Carolina
(37:29):
Panthers quarterback Kim Newton and his girlfriend Kia pruct Welcome
to brand new baby boy into the world. Chosen Sebastian
Newton is in perfect health in ways nine pounds six ounces.
And you know what that means, Greg? They had sex. Oh,
(37:51):
that's a lifelong dream. That was. That was who's had sex?
You know what, Greg, let's take it the recommendation station
sit back, right, sit back, sit back to right, sit back?
(38:15):
What a step from it? Sounds like it was sounds
like it was evidence used in a trial. It was
an album that had a woman bending over with just
bottoms and it looked like it was a thong of sorts.
But you're talking about, you know, the official NFL licensed,
(38:36):
approved in the house music that we are forced to
play because we're no longer allowed to play commercial music.
That was one of the suns. That might just be
our new theme song or maybe just play that in
between everything. Honestly, it made me uncomfortable that song. It
made me very uncomfortable. I can't that song. How excited
were you when you found that song? Brands so so excited?
(38:59):
It is it is, it is unethical, It is over
the line. It's great it's a little too faced that
the NFL supports program and music like that while they're
not letting us do our thing. Unlivable Recommendation Station, Greg
last week was a fiasco for you. Try not to
recommend something that we would have read in sixth grade
(39:20):
and then talk about it for we stand by Anne
Frank all day long, but I won't recommend it this week.
It was a great book top ten. Uh, Billy Lynn's
Halftime Walk. It was a football show. So I'm gonna
um give you a book and a movie that's football related.
Billy Len's Halftime Walk. It's really a post war book
(39:40):
more than it is a football book, but it all
takes place at halftime of a Cowboys game. Check that out.
It's great things. I own it. I have not read
it yet. It's really it's really amazing, and there's a
Jerry Jones like character in it, which is really interesting.
He just captures a lot of stuff. And then Uh.
The documentary I wanted to recommend, under feedd from about
(40:01):
three or four years ago. I believe it was nominated
for an Oscar. Maybe my favorite sports documentary of all time.
Had me in tears in the theater I'm not afraid
to admit, just like a but you know, it's a
low level movie, but it got picked up in a
few places, ended up getting nominated. It's unbelievable, undefeated. What's
it about. I haven't seen it, but I know i've
seen the Post's basically one of those high school you know,
(40:22):
season in all life, high school football team that means
so much to the town, that that type of thing.
You've seen stuff like that. But the Tigers, I think
it was Massillian Tigers. But it's not Go Tigers. It's
the same it's the same town. I believe I'm messing
it up, but that's it. I was thinking of Go Tigers.
Those are those are good recommendations, very football related. I'm
just gonna talk about things that I that I'm reading
(40:43):
right now that i've seen lately. The book i'm reading
when Now was a great book. If you guys are
listening to this podcast, it's not for Greg, you know,
I mean, let's let's be real, it's not because of Greg.
It's because of me. So you love comedy. This book
came out to maybe like a month ago. It's called
The Comedians. It's a nonfiction book. It's about the history
of common the Uh in the in the world, I guess,
but it's it's it's basically in America. But America, America
(41:04):
is the birthplace of stand up comedy for sure. If
you can hear any comic from outside of the country,
they suck. And you can take that to the blood bank, Senator. Uh,
it's it's. It's full of great stories. It's a great
history and really funny, interesting stories. They just like crack
me up. Like I'll tell one of the stories. Shaky
Green and Buddy Hackett, we're best friends and huge drinkers.
(41:26):
And one day in Vegas, they they they're hanging out,
they're drinking, they're gonna waste in the middle of the day.
I think it's like ten o'clock in the morning, and
they're walking across the street and Buddy Hackett always had
a gun for some reason, was always carrying around a handgun.
And they're walking across the street and Buddy Hackett stops
in the middle of an intersection and check keeps walking.
Go Schecky, you know what. CHECKI turns around, he's like what.
He goes You're a waldo And Checky goes what And
(41:50):
he goes you know what, You're a double Waldo, And
Jackie Green says, I have no idea what that means,
what a waldo is, but I know you shouldn't say
that to me when I'm drunk. So he runs over,
hunches Buddy Hackett in the face, takes his gun and
his car keys and throws them into the desert and
then runs away. And hours later Buddy Hackett calls him
on the phone and his check. It's Buddy. You know,
(42:10):
if people are with us this morning, they would think
we didn't like each other, and they went on being friends.
And I love that You're a double Waldo. So that's
the book The Comedians by Cliff nestor Off. I'll spell
his first named k l I pH nestor Off. I
don't need to spell that, you know. And then this
movie that I saw this This woman and I went
to a party on Christmas Eve and this woman and
(42:32):
I would recommending things to each other, and she said,
go see this movie called Dog Tooth. It came out
in two thousand nine. It's the first movie from Greece
that's ever been nominated for an Oscar maybe the only
movie since it's an incredible movie. I loved It's about
ninety minutes long. It's about parents who are kind of
crazy and they keep their children on their property and
they don't let them leave the property. They have this
(42:54):
weird mythology they invent for why they can't leave the house.
And at the time you join the movie, it's when
the kids are old enough that they kind of start
to rebel and things get weird and it is just
an insane, crazy movie. I loved it. My favorite part
of this is that this woman says, you know, I'm
gonna watch your special on Netflix this weekend. And I said, oh,
I'm gonna watch Dog Tooth. And I thought, you know,
she's gonna text me and say what, tell me what
(43:15):
she thought, and then I'll tell her what I thought
of Dog Tooth. I loved it, but I can't tell
her first, you know. I mean, I can't be like
Dogtooth was great, because then it's like I'm fishing for
a compliment. But I have not heard from this woman
in weeks, so I think she saw the special. It
was not a fan. She's probably more a Milaney lady.
My loves it to me, my mother that was Brandon
(43:44):
that was That wasn't even a song that was just
Brandon interrupting. I asked him to play a song he
didn't have when ready, he panicked and that was him.
Good job, Bread. I'm I'm surprised, as close as I get.
I like that you're showing a different side of you, Brandon,
that you're not afraid to be vulnerable. Hey, it's that's
(44:04):
what happens when you do this show for a while.
You gotta open up, Will said. Chris Clements is a
player on the Jaguars. Probably don't know him. Used to
be on the Seahawks. Uh was a pass rusher for
the Seahawks when they when they won the Super Bowl.
He is part of our hot take of the Week
(44:25):
this week, which is from Ryan O'Halleran of the Times
Union UH in Jacksonville. I believe it's called the Florida
Times Union, and he sent out a tweet that got
some attention this week recapping a conversation he had with
Mr Clements in the locker room. Clements said to o halleran,
while while with a group of reporters, you're the head
(44:47):
of the group. And then Ryan responded to Chris Clemens
have fun getting cut and that this was just with
no context. Out of the blue, he decides to put
that up. Then then Ryan Ryan Ohiller and follows up
and he says Clemens called the Jacksonville media racist, et cetera.
And then he points out that Chris Clemens had no tackles,
(45:09):
no stats at all that day. I don't really know
what the take is. I guess the take is that
the Jacksonville media is racist. To take ryin Ryinal Holleran's
take is that Ronald Halleran Ryano hollerran like, it's like
a really clever, like cool guy, Like, it's not okay
if you just said that, if you just said have
fun getting cut and other people around him heard it,
be like, oh, that was kind of funny what he said.
(45:30):
But when you tweet out like your own cool comeback,
that's not cool. I don't like. I don't like Rhinal Hallerwan,
and I would absolutely believe that much like everyone else
in Jacksonville, that the media is racist. Well, the whole
tweet proved, you know, Chris Clemons point. That's the part
I didn't get. That was my immediate reaction to this
is that Chris Clemmons think this guy's dead, And so
(45:52):
what he immediately does via dickhead by saying, have fun
losing your job to Clemmons, And I'm gonna send this
out to everyone. I know. We're definitely gonna to believe that,
aren't we? Probably? Yeah, such a slab move, Greg that
was a hot take of the week, Jackson, Jackson, God,
(46:24):
I love that song and you know what I feel like,
I want to play the piano along to the song.
Does that make sense? Like? That's what the song inspires
in me, is to kind of add something to it.
I think we each one of us can hear this
song and bring our own bring our own instrument. I
want to hear your take on this question for asking
Anthony Timminy Cricket. That's what he goes by. It's a
(46:46):
real name. Well, it goes that's his name on Twitter
at Timmy Little Robot is his name? Which is just
as ridiculous. Is that a picture of Anthony in Gilmore
Girls episode two from season four and with this email
or tweet rather, he included a screen capture And there's
(47:08):
some sort of wall in a Gilmore Girls episode where
it has a bunch of people that appeared to have
graduated from a high school and one of those pictures
is Anthony, a young Anthony jessel Nick with a tie on.
It really was you, yes that. I'm so happy with
this question people. I've seen people on Twitter kind of
bring this up, but no one's ever like directly asked
(47:29):
me if that was me episode of Gilmore Girls. I've
never seen an episode of Gilmore Girls, but right, that's
that's me a twenty two years old. My first day
of work, I moved out to Los Angeles from New Orleans. Came,
I was there. Yeah, we we lived together. I was
in the car. Yeah, I mean no, we drove out separately.
We we car we I was driving behind you. If
(47:50):
you remember, we had walkie talkies, which you abandoned once
you picked up your girlfriend and would not talk to
me in the walkie talkie anymore, which was depressing. How
long did you guys have talkies? Well, because you I mean,
we had cell phones also, but if you're in a car,
like we were following each other from from Pittsburgh all
the way to Los Angeles. So I was like, let's
get walkie talkies so we can just talk about let's
(48:11):
pull over for gas, and it was instead of having
to call someone, we just pick it up and do it.
And it was really fun. We would make jokes we
had remember we had a hilarious run. We would do jokes.
I don't remember anything. Oh my god, this is so
great we had. We would do jokes about and then
we're so off topic now. We would do jokes about
like we were talking about how big I were, and
(48:32):
I just we were just like we would just drive
by this on like giant, like some giant building, and like, Greg,
see that thing, that's a big We would laugh. We
would laugh for hours doing this and we we had
We really had fun doing it. And then we stopped
in Chicago and pick up Greg's girlfriend and then drove
the rest of the way with with Ruth. And then
you guys would not talk to me on the walkie
(48:52):
talkie anymore. I would keep talking to you and you
would never respond. It was it was kind of sad.
But then we get to l A and the first
thing I did, I didn't know what to do. And
someone said, if you want to be an extra on
TV shows or movies, you just go to this building.
You fill out a form. You tell them like what
you're height and weight and like your ages, they take
a picture of you, and then every morning you call
this hotlines that took Casting Central. I did it too.
(49:12):
I did the West Wing. You did the West Wing? Really,
I did it went. I did one day and it
was so depressing, and I was like, that's it's so sad,
it's so awful. I did it twice. I did two
days in a row. I did for my first day
was Gilmore Girls, and I didn't know what I was doing.
I showed up and I didn't bring a book or anything.
I thought like, I'm going to work and you just
sit around all day with a bunch of other like
(49:32):
nobody's who are doing nothing and uh, and then they
took my picture. As I think that episode the Gilmore
Girls go to Harvard to look at Harvard and the
mom is looking at this wall of valedictorians and I'm
one of the valedictorians. And I can't believe that people
pick me out of it, but they really, they're like, oh,
that's Anthony join They really noticed it. Now that it's
on Netflix or DVD or something, people tweet me a
(49:54):
lot this blue Emmica my wife. I guess I don't
even say my wife. It blew her mind when I
told her this, because she has watched every Gilmore Girls
episode four or five times, she never noticed you. And
now she's like, I think I know what episode that is,
I know what happened in that episode, but I don't
remember that. I do remember you or I don't remember,
but you told me that that you made us watch this.
(50:16):
This is what's funny to me is that, uh you
don't remember that all that I was on it. But
I remember specifically making everyone come over like it was you,
Chris Nelson, a couple of the people, and I was like,
let's watch this and see where I am. Like I
thought this, I'm in show biz. And I would be
like that's me. Like I would walk by a window
and be like that's me. And you guys were like
immediately like Anthony, this is not fun. It doesn't matter
that was you. No one cares stop this. Uh My.
(50:39):
My only other day of working as an extra was
I was in the movie Pluto Nash. At the very
end of the movie, you can kind of see me
dancing with some girl like in a weird suit from
the future, like behind Eddie Murphy pressing day. I remember
the girl I had to dance with. We kept talking
between takes and she was like, you know, you can
actually make a lot of money as an extra if
you become a SAG member. If you do enough of
this that you get your SAG card, you get paid
(51:01):
like four times as much, and like people just make
their living like that. And I want to go visit
you at work where you worked for Paul Hall or
old boss. And I said, Paul, I'm thinking about be
being like a professional extra, and he looked at me
and said, why the hell would you want to do that?
And that was the last time I ever thought of it,
and then I've never acted in anything since then. Um
that I hope that answers everyone's question. So that is
(51:22):
me and Gilmore Girls. That was my first ever taste
of show biziness. I want to send this picture out
because it's hilarious to see you, you know, all dressed
up as a valedictorian when you're eighteen twenty two years
so you looked Listener of the Week this week, uh
is by the name us motto GP fans. This is
(51:44):
on iTunes. Of course, we encourage everyone to tell your
friends about the podcast if you like it. That's how
we're gonna grow. You can leave ratings, five stars or whatever.
Leave a comment, helps it all, helps out Our favorite
list during of the week says the show is hilarious.
Every week. I'm surprised to see another episode posted. I
(52:05):
can't believe it hasn't been crashing down yet. Who would
have thought the soulless, monolithic NFL would let such an edgy,
subversive podcast keep peeking out from behind the shield? Try
to imagine Major League Baseball letting something like this to
survive the episode two. You can't do it. That's right,
Baseball steaks. That's me. Uh, maybe the NFL has a
(52:27):
soul after all? Who knew Roger Goodell was such a
musical genius? Rock on hope it continues into the off
season go our g v P and that that brings
up a topic that you know, you've been looking for
the NFL to step up its game in terms of
treating you right. We want to keep this show going.
There's a little bit of a concern we're here at
the end that the super Bowl could be the end
(52:47):
of this podcast. We're all a little you know, on
edge about this right now. Well, I'm not on edge
at all. I'm sure of it. I am sure that
that we will last in the super Bowl, and then uh,
and then I will uh, I will never up putting
in the studio again. That was Sydney. That was Sydney,
(53:15):
a co producer who got got a little jealous that
everyone was getting on the action with music, and Sydney decided, like,
you know what, I can do it too. I can
do anything the boys can do, only better. That's our Sydney.
By the way, Yeah, I can do that. I was
a little I was a little negative before about definitely
being done with this. The NFL could back up a
(53:37):
truck and get me to come here. I haven't. I've
enjoyed doing the podcast. I do not enjoy driving here.
I do not enjoy How about if we just send
a truck or a car to pick you up. That
would be a start. That would be that would be
a start. And I can't believe it hasn't happened already.
It shows me how little power you actually have here
at the network. I couldn't have gotten it because I
carried the shield. I carry it. Let's do predictions. Uh
(54:01):
this week I have not I've yet to repeat a
bit on the show. Uh. This week it was no exception.
This week I'm doing. My predictions are couched in a
segment I call Devil's Advocate. Greg is gonna make his
picks on the four wild card games this weekend, and
I'm gonna play Devil's advocate. So Greg, go ahead, you
start a good role for you. You want to described
your show as like a you know, a late night show,
(54:22):
as if it was hosted by Satan. Yeah, I described
my stand up as if Satan did stand up. I
just when I go to the bathroom, it's as if
Satan went to the bathroom. I am. When I take
a shower, it's like Satan is bathing, and that was
one too far when I brush my teeth. Now are
(54:45):
just making ourselves laugh. Let's talk about the first game
of the week. We've called this the no respect Ball.
No one believes in the Chiefs or the Texans. They're
kind of the eleventh and twelve team in the playoffs,
ten wins in a row, no one respects him. I
love it. I respect the Chiefs. I think they're gonna
win this game. I think Alex Smith gets way too
much credit. It's all about the defense and there's no
way they're letting Brian Hoyer and Jonathan Grimes score touchdowns,
(55:09):
Chiefs get into the divisional round within the game. All right,
let me play Devil's advocate here. Parents shouldn't vaccinate their children.
Children should vaccinate their parents. Houston wins turned down for Clowney.
I'm gonna take the Vikings against the Seahawks this week.
I know that's a big time upset. People just expect
(55:31):
Seattle to walk in destroy them. They beat him by
thirty one points a month ago, and they've played better since.
So it really makes no sense to take the Vikings.
But That's what I'm gonna do. Okay, let me play
Devil's advocate here. I think there should be a strict
background checks for buying guns in this country. But if
I passed the background check, I shouldn't have to buy
the gun. Just give it to me. Free guns. It's
(55:53):
in the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the Bible.
Seattle on the road, Green Bay Packers head to Washington
in a fascinating game. The Washington Post, talk about a
bad hot take of the week, asked the question this week,
who would you rather have for the next five years,
Kirk Cousins or Aaron Rodgers. Here's the answer. Kirk Cousins
(56:13):
is gonna get paid way too much by your lousy owner,
and the Redskins are gonna go back to the seller,
and then the downfall is gonna start this week when
the Packers beat him. Give me a break, Cousins versus
the guy who's won two m v ps. I like
the passion. Let me play Devil's advocate here. If eighteen
is old enough to vote, smoke cigarettes, and die for
your country, then it should be old enough to buy
(56:35):
alcohol for twelve year olds. Just saying, Washington wins in
a squeaker Uh, Cincinnati Pittsburgh. This is really the big
game of the week. It's on in prime time on
Saturday night. We'll have to talk about where you're watching
that game sometime later. But Bengal Steelers. Everyone is picking
(56:56):
the Steelers in this game that everyone saying this is
the this is the six seed. You don't want to
face the Steelers. Well, they haven't played very well the
last two weeks. The Bengals are bound to win one
of these years. They are oh in seven I believe,
since they last won a playoff game oh in six
under Marvin Lewis in the playoffs. This is a good roster.
Let the Bengals have a win. For one's Bengals get
(57:17):
the victory. It's an upset at home. First, let me say,
I watch every single Steelers game alone by myself. I
go so crazy. I get so I embarrassed myself that
I can even watch with other Steelers fans. I watch
alone by myself, And this game scares me because Cincinnati
is kind of do like. They haven't won. They haven't
won a playoff game in twenty seven years years. Yeah,
(57:37):
it's something crazy that frightens me. But let me play
Devils out of kids here. People who want a dog
shouldn't get it from a dog breeder. They should go
to a shelter and pay a homeless guy to act
like a dog. Pittsburgh, enough blowout. That was Roger Goodell
(58:04):
pushing a clown down the stairs. Now, Greg, before we go,
uh what? Uh? We haven't talked about them? How are
my god kids? How are how are Walker? And ellis
your son and daughter? Walker is basically a vacuum cleaner.
He's at He's a little crawling vacuum cleaner. Everything that
he sees, it's like all
Welcome to episode eleven of The Rosenthal and jessel Nick
Vanity Project JVP. This is the part where Anthony says
something totally crazy. You tell him I'm coming, and Hill's
coming with me. I've got a plus one. Right. Energy
(00:28):
in the studio is good today. Anthony's feeling fresh. I
don't know what it is. It's the new year, and
you're kind of it's like you're in boxing shape or something.
This is two sixteen, Anthony. I mean, I haven't working
out for months, training, training for this podcast. Uh so
I am. I'm feeling good. I'm looking good. I've got
a lot of energy. You've got You've got some motivation
(00:48):
with the new year. That's right, that's right to prove
people wrong. I'm highly motivated to strangle this year to
death with my bare hands. My only revenge is success,
is what I keep yelling in my sleep. Um, I'm
ex I did. I want to ask a happy New Year.
First of all, a happy new Year to all our
podcast listeners. I want to ask Greg. I know that
you know Greg's wife, Emmica is is Japanese, like off
(01:09):
the boat Japanese, Like couldn't be more Japanese. She grew
up in Orange County until she was eight. If she
was if she was any more Japanese, it would be offensive.
Uh so, and the Japanese people are lovely people for
the most part, have a lot of traditions for New
Year's even New Year's Day, it's like a big thing.
So I'm interested in what you had to do. I
(01:30):
asked you, like, what are you doing? And you, first
of all, did not invite me to any of the things.
So I assumed that it was kind of like a
family thing, like oh, you could always just assumed you
wouldn't want to go. That's true. There wasn't a lot
of planning ahead. I knew you didn't want to necessarily
get up the next morning, which is part of it.
So you know the night before, Uh, there's a traditional meal,
some sober noodles, very good, you know, nothing crazy. Uh.
(01:52):
I mean it's not it like just sober noodles because
I've had those. Yeah, it's nothing crazy. There's some other
you know, little stuff that look what like this is
what I'm intes student, I want to know. I don't really,
I don't really know the night before because you know,
part of the reason Emmaca gets probably annoyed is we've
boiled it down a little bit. We've got a couple
of kids where you know, we had to run to
the grocery store the Japanese market that on New Year's
(02:13):
Eve because we hadn't had time to do it by then.
It's already you know, run out of a lot of things,
and you know she was upset about that, so we
have to go to another market trying to find about. Well,
there's these these little swirly sort of cake cake things,
and that's what you have on New Year's morning. So
that's that's really the big meal. You wake up on
New Year's morning and you have a breakfast slash brunch,
(02:37):
I guess, but pretty much right when you wake up,
they've got these fermented like or not fermented breakfast slash
brunch you mean brunch, Yeah, well it really is breakfast.
You've got some sweet beans that that like cook and
marinate for twenty four hours. My you know Emmaca Ellis
loves this. Our daughter Ellis loves those. You've got these
(02:57):
sort of cake things with swirl on it. Now I'm
him get made fun of by anyone that's Japanese, and
definitely my wife for not knowing what these things. There's
a soup, there's a soup kind of a certain type
of chicken soup that that you have. Uh, there's all
sorts of things, you know, I think in Japan and
when we first started doing it there, it's like an
array of twelve thirteen things. Now it's maybe you know,
(03:19):
we've got the kids and everything, it's boiled down some
I don't know. I mean I heard of sweet beans
and I was a sweet beans sounds dope. So that
and so after that, after like the breakfast thing, after
the brunch, is that it or Yeah, there's no other
traditions like New Year's Day. There's no like ritual sacrifice,
if that's what you're getting at. I don't know. I
don't mean a ritual sacrifice. I know you guys save
that for Easter. But I I just I'm interested in
(03:43):
in how you guys do. I know there's like lucky numbers,
like when you guys got married. Yeah, you had to
get married on a certain day because we had a
Friday wedding because Saturday that particular week and that month
of that particular year was really bad luck. Yeah. I'm
just I'm just I'm just interested. Uh, yeah, that sounds
like a fun New Year's even Newyears Day? Did you
guys have champagne or did you? Maybee stayed up. She
(04:04):
stayed up, stayed up awake a little bit and watched
watched the Ball drop. It's about it. I mean we
watched Netflix and then switched it to the ball about
five minutes before watched You watched Thoughts and Prayers. You
watch my Netflix special on New Years. We've watched that
every week. Actually, that's awesome. Everyone should Thoughts and Prayers
on Netflix again. That was the reason that I started
doing this podcast. Um, it's been it's been so long,
(04:25):
I forgot it. Um. I had kind of a I
had a fun New Year's I went to I went
to a party. My friend John mulaney had had a
had a party. I had to dress up another person
with a special on Netflix. I know you don't that's
right now. He's he's the I'm very proud of John.
He's the second the second best special on Netflix right now.
Very funny. It was a fun party that we had
to dress up. We had to wear suits, and I
(04:46):
squeezed into one of my suits from last Comic Standing,
which was like months ago, and I thought, all, this
will totally fit me, and it was. I felt like, uh,
I felt like a sausage. I feel like squeezed. That
that's why we've got the motivated Jesse Like, No, it's
like I've I'm jacked. It's like it's all muscle, you
know what I mean. It's not fat, it's all it's
all muscle. You're looking at me like you're skeptic, jealous. Um.
(05:08):
I had. I had a fun week after New Year's
I went up to uh me and me and Roger
Me and Roger Goodell. We we went up to the
Federal Wildlife Preserve in Oregon, uh really and just hung out.
You know. We had Roger Mr Goodell as I like
to call him, or as you should call him. He's
your boss. You know, he's got a bunch of friends
in the militia. We ate chili, had a couple of
beers and just kicked it, you know, kicked it hard,
(05:30):
a lot of high fives. He's a high five kind
of guy. Uh And then, oh my god, this this
is like maybe my thing. I'm most excited about it.
But this podcast this week is you know, it was
week seventeen on on Sunday, and I won a bunch
of money. I was in a I was in a
gambling pool all season long, and it all came down
to week seventeen and I if I was in second place,
(05:51):
I would have won four hundred dollars come in first.
I came in first and won eighteen hundred dollars. That
is a big difference, eighteen hundreds in second places four hundred.
I couldn't do that, of course, because I'm an NFL employee.
There's no gambling. But that's that's crazy. It's a head
to head competition, uh, where there's a tournament. Really you know,
(06:12):
you try to pick all the games right all year
and then it's almost like a fantasy league where there's
eight teams left, eight guys, and you're picking against them,
and you got to the finals and it's close going
into the last Sunday and it comes right down to
Raiders Chiefs Chiefs favored by seven. And it's crazy that
that big difference, fourteen hundred dollar difference comes down to
(06:34):
the Raiders getting a last minute garbage touchdown back door
cover that wins you the money. That's right, I won
the money. Then you drop them, you drop them because
them like that was little Wayne, that was great. Let's
(06:59):
do what was cut? So hyped? That song like describes
me how I feel right now. It is the tesla
nick this week compared to the last week. Oh yeah,
last week I was ready to quit. Uh. This week,
this week, I think El Nino has super charged me.
What was cut? This is a fun what was cut?
Because these are things that we've been talking about for
weeks and trying to get under the radar, but we
(07:20):
keep on getting them cut out. So let me do.
Let me do my best, which is again extraordinary. One
of the things that was cut. These are all these
are all gonna be Goodell related. These are all things
that I said Goodell did, so let me try to
now describe them without getting them cut. I said that
someone um played music a k A. Scored a famous
(07:47):
football players funeral. I said that we were talking about
the song fifty nine Miles to Jacksonville Class the unofficial
soundtrack of r j VP. I know I'm in a
good mood when that doesn't drive me up the wall
the first time you play it. I said that someone
(08:07):
someone who was involved in the making him that song
in order to get that certain singer to sing the song,
or she wanted the job and she had to do
things to get the job. I think I got I
think I got by a thing, the thing that got bleeped.
This is Greg. This is all Greg. Greg. There's a
there's a nickname people say for people if you are
(08:31):
kind of a like a jobber. I think you would
call it's a football term too, for the type of
player that wouldn't even make a raster. He's just there
in the summer. He's not gonna He's not even gonna
make the team. He's just a slapstick. Is a slapstick
only only instead of stick, you throw a D in there. Uh,
slap Nixon. I like to say, Uh, we had a
(08:52):
um A go O D damn situation. You're allowed to
say damn. You can't throw a god in front of it.
That's what makes a blasphemy and we can't have that
here at the NFL. Uh. I think Greg no I
threw an F bomb in uh last week. I threw
an F bomb. Um. And then I had someone, a
certain someone we described him doing doing an R and
B song and that the video was like the video
(09:15):
of D'Angelo where he's He's not naked, described him as
one of the three black people I knew exactly exactly them,
and then one of the guys from Trip called Quest
and then little Wayne. Uh, those are the three that
he did a video for the song and he wasn't
wearing any clothes and which I that was a ridiculous image,
but we cut it to save Greg's job. Um. And
then we had to cut a whole swath from my
(09:38):
predictions where I kind of went on a rant about
about j C. The Jay christ Is I like to
call him. I was describing you know, his appearance uh
and his ethnicity uh for quite some time and that
was all cut, and then we really had to take
an axe. Two tweets from my girl, Miko Grimes shout
(09:58):
out to Miko um Eco had a lot of tweets
about Tannehill that were extremely uh, extremely offensive. Yeah, included
some sexual acts. Although I really wasn't happy when I
listened to it Brandon, our producer, that he cut out
one of the tweets. I think it could have been
left in there. That included getting some reporters the same
(10:20):
you know he was she was going to go at
the reporters um with magic Johnson's Johnson. I think we
can say that and give them um okay, yeah, I
mean there were the things I've gotten listed here are
basically like a body, bodily fluids, just the one but
different like different words for them. And then of course
referencing Magic Johnson. And that was what was cut stock.
(10:54):
That was DMX classic. That was impressive, Anthony, what was
you just killed? That? That was to get through it
all the way? What if we could have a show,
and if you're a new listen into the show, every
show we go through what was edited out of the
last show before we start our world famous headlines. What
if we got through a show and didn't have to
do anything what was edited? Is that like the ultimate point? No,
(11:16):
I would consider that a failure if we didn't, if
I didn't push it too far, Like if I don't,
if I don't get something bleeped out, I feel like
I haven't done my job, you know what I mean.
It's your job to try to keep it on the rails.
It's my job to uh to get this train right off.
I want to I'm looking at a death train. Touchdow Well,
let's got have been more appropriate. Let's get to those headlines.
(11:37):
I thought you want to talk about the gift. Oh,
that's right, we should talk about the two songs that
we've listened to so far. Yeah, that was not an accident.
We didn't just pick those out of a hat. Greg explained,
the only two songs that we can use in this
show before we have to go to NFL approved NFL
programmed music. And we don't know what those songs are
(11:58):
going to be the NFL songs. They're just from the
NFL brarie. They could have been produced or performed by anyone.
We don't know. But I once I hear it, I
know I know who it was, and I'll try to
describe it as best I can. But the first two
songs are songs that were featured in a in a
book that was sent to me from a loyal listener
of r j VP, my uncle Dave, who sent me
(12:18):
a package, and it's probably going to be the last
package I remember I ever get in my life. Addressed
to Greg Rosenthal of r j VP, I wanted to
be so negative. It's the new year. I'm excited, and
you know you gotta say you're not gonna get more
pack j VP. That would be cool if I did.
And it's a great book, The Rap Yearbook by Say Serrano,
former grant Land writer. It goes through each year since
(12:40):
hip hop started and picks the definitive rap song of
that year, explains why has people arguing for against it,
why it's such a great song, why it's important. Was
going to be the president I gave to you for
your birthday and Christmas? But it wasn't in the store,
and so I never did. So now it's perfect. Now
it's it's sent to our j VP. Are you trying
to get it for a president that you wanted to
(13:01):
get me? Well, I'll let you borrow it or whatever.
But people should check out the book. Shout out to
Grantly and shout out to Bill Simmons, Greg and I'll
see you in heaven Bill. Okay. First headline. Tom Coughlin
retired this week after that's that's true, he stepped away
from the New York Giants. I'm blowing it already. He
(13:21):
he stepped down as the head coach of the Giants.
Certainly some question whether he was forced to do that.
Believe that you know, he clearly was. Uh, it sounded
like he wanted to still keep coaching. But it was
an emotional day in New York. He had been there
for twelve years, and he had a press conference packed
to the gils with players, reporters, a hundred cameras. He
(13:44):
was if you don't like Tom Coughlin, this this press
conference might make you like him. And you kind of
can see how well he can command a room. It
was very emotional him saying goodbye to all his players
and his friends and everything like that. Any Line Manning,
of course, well, I love I mean I love Tom Coughlin.
He one two of the greatest what what what Steelers
fans referred to as the greatest non Steelers super Bowl victories? Uh,
(14:07):
for sure one both of those taken down the Mighty Pats.
One of those was my first super Bowl ever. So
you're that's what that made it even better? I was.
I was very happy to uh to to see that happened. Uh.
My favorite part of the Coughlin press conference was when
he talked to Eli Manning and he Eli got a
little emotional as Coughlin was leaving. I think Eli kind
(14:29):
of blamed himself and uh and Coughlin. Coughlin talked to
him a little bit, talked to Eli directly during the
press conference. Play a clip of that, it's not your fault,
all right, it's not your fault. See that was I
mean that, that was great. He talked for just a
couple of seconds, and then later on he talked to
him again. Reference again it's not your fault, all right,
(14:49):
it's not your fault. Really really emotional stuff. Um. Eli
was crying, Uh, full blown, full blown Obama new Town
tears up there and uh. And it was again one
of the things I don't like seeing from quarterbacks. You're
allowed to cry once as a football player, and that
is when you retire, and even then, I'm not I'm
not thrilled about it, but watching cry during a press
(15:11):
conference was a little a little upsetting. Uh, play well,
you know, play one more clip from at the very end,
it's not your fault, all right, it's not your fault. Yeah,
it just kept this all sounds similar, but trust me,
they're all very different. It was very emotional, and it
was bad luck for Eli that the associated press camera
got right up in his face because he was sitting
(15:33):
in the back. And yet there's this video online that
the cameras right on Elie's face and his lip you
can like see it quivering, like trying. A lot of
people in our newsroom thought that was a really genuine,
cool show of emotion that made that in dearity lie
man into them. But not you because you're heartless. You know,
I'll tell you. It endeared me that he tried to
(15:53):
hold back the tears that he did his best. I
like that, like the lip quiver. If you lip quiver,
and that's it awesome. You show a little emotion, but
you don't go too far with it, you know what
I mean. People don't cry. And I'm not saying men
don't cry. I'm saying people, when I see women cry,
get a little mad, like get it together, Get it together, ladies.
Pretty much the Anthony jessel Nick guide to life right there,
(16:15):
Like don't don't let don't show too much emotion. Never
we'll see a crack. That was Roger Goodell. Goodell plays
(16:36):
a guitar like Nobody's business. People think, oh, is that
Bo Diddley. No, that's Roger Goodell making fun of Bow
Didley kind of like a parody of Bo Diddley. It's
it's excellent. This next story, Greg is near and dear
to my heart. It is my favorite story of the week,
if not the season. It is unbelievable that Johnny Manzel
(16:56):
continues to top himself every week. According to ESPN Las Vegas,
Johnny Manziel was at a night last Las Vegas nightclub
last weekend, Saturday night, Saturday, the night before game right
the night before they faced your Steelers in their season finale.
Wearing a blond wig, a fake mustache, glasses, and a hoodie.
(17:21):
He introduced himself around to the tables and everyone as Billy.
This is incredible. I mean, people talk about to talk
about Manzell being a bust. Did not see this coming.
Because now he's worth every penny. He's worth that draft pick.
That is the greatest thing I have ever heard, ever heard.
(17:45):
It's insane that you would in order to go out,
that you would have to put on a disguise. All
he had to do was wait twenty four hours, right,
and then go with the Vegas and no one would
ever care. He wore a disguise and thought that it
would work, and you know what it did. There are
no pictures of this, which is which is a total shame.
I almost when I think out there were no pictures.
(18:06):
Greg I almost cried, um, I love that. People said
that the next day on Sunday, before even the story
came out about the disguise, that Manzel did not show
up for a Sunday morning concussion protocol at nine am
with the Browns. My question, how do they know he
wasn't there? You know what I mean? He could have easily.
He could have easily been there in disguise. You never
(18:32):
know where he's gonna pop up. He could be He
could be here right now, Brandon. Is that you can't tell?
I can't could be Johnny. I mean, the funny thing
is he goes to all that length, first of all,
because he just has to go to Vegas, Like is
it that much fun to go to Vegas and and
and be in a disguise and have no one know
(18:54):
who you are? And he didn't even he tried to.
He didn't bring cash and he didn't want to put
it on his car. He just asked them to comp it, right,
he said, He said, well, he said, I don't want
to use my card when you just comped this whole night.
And they said, that's not how the economy works. You
don't just get to say, listen, I don't feel like
using my card, go ahead and camp me. You know what,
what else is great? Yeah, he asked people to call
(19:17):
him Billy, which was great. That just can't be comfortable
to wear disguise all night in Vegas. I wouldn't want
to wear a hat in Vegas all night in the club.
You know. He had to have been kind of miserable.
I'm sure he regrets it now, but he shouldn't because
now I hear that the Cowboys want him. The Cowboys
want to get him, and they should want him. He's
a master of disguise. We'll take it a little further.
(19:41):
If he's going to go to that much trouble to
hide it from the team, then why do you not
show up the next morning for a concussion protocol. That's
how this whole story really came out. By the by
the end of the night, Peter King is reporting it
on NBC that he missed the concussion protocol, that the
Browns want nothing to do with him, and oh, by
the way, he wants to play for the Cowboys. So
Jerry Jones is now saying, yeah, we would take a
(20:03):
chance on some troubled quarterbacks, just you know, speaking vaguely,
because he knows he can't talk about Menzel. So Manzel,
this is all part of his master scheme. I can
go to the Cowboys. Yeah, maybe he's smarter than you think. Well,
I mean, it's not as if he had shown up
for that concussion protocol, if they would have been like, oh,
welcome back next year, like thanks for thanks for fulfilling
all our dreams by showing up at nine am so
(20:24):
that we can have you sit, uh sit in the
locker room. I don't blame him for that at all.
And if I did blame him, he would have redeemed
himself with the disguise that was Roger Goodell. Uh. Goodell
(20:50):
didn't actually he didn't play the song. It was kind
of Uh. I forget the name of the band, but
it's featuring Roger Goodell and the video, if you remember,
is a DJ and then front of the DJ is
Roger Goodell and he's swinging glow sticks. He's swinging him
around and he's wearing it. This guy is very much
like Johnny Manzels. This next headline is my second favorite
(21:14):
headline of the week, and this is a big Ben.
Big Ben Roethlisberger, my quarterback extraordinaire reacting to fans in Cleveland. Uh,
like Steelers fans in Cleveland cheering when they when they
heard that the Jets lost the Pitts. Pittsburgh needed the
Jets to lose to get into the playoffs. They needed
to win, and they were already winning. There's been a
minute left in the game, two minutes maybe, and Ben,
(21:36):
here's loud cheering going on behind him, loud cheering. The
Steelers fans famously traveled very well. There are a lot
of Steelers fans at that Cleveland game. And Uh, the
quote from Ben is fantastic. They said, Ben, what did
you think when you heard all that cheering? And he
was confused. He said, I heard some cheering, so I
looked and assumed it was a fight, a Steelers fan
(21:57):
beating up a Browns fan or something. And that's the
whole quote. That is amazing that his first reaction to
hearing cheering in Cleveland stadium is to imagine that Steelers
fans are beating up a Browns fan in their own stadium.
That's how far it's gone, That's how far it's fallen.
It's been a tough run for the Browns here lately.
The worst the last five coaches that have been fired
(22:20):
by the Browns. First of all, the last five coaches
to lose their jobs in the a f C North
have all been Browns coaches. So the Ravens, the Steelers,
and the Bengals have all had coaches and the Browns
are gonna be on their sixth, you know. Second of all,
at this point, every time the Steelers play them in
Week seventeen, they fire their coach. All five of those
(22:41):
coaches were fired after facing your Steelers. They're basically the
harbinger of doom. Were the coach killers the Steelers, they're
deposing coach killers. Uh. Yeah. Cleveland has had a rough
go of it, but I think if there's one silver lining,
it's that they still have Johnny Manziel on the roster
and he's like having two quarterbacks touchdown. That was Roger
(23:18):
Adelle's brother. He has a brother who also plays music.
And if you know Roger, he likes to surf. And
he asked his brother, he said, would you would you
learn a little Dick Dale and play something from me
while I'm surfing? And his brother said no, and then
eventually eventually did it. And that's what that song was.
I don't know what it's called. It's pretty good. Very
dick Dale like, very Dickdale like. So the Browns h
(23:42):
made a big move this week. I don't know if
you're aware of this. They made a big front office move,
very surprising. They hired an executive from baseball. I did
hear this from the Mets, The Mets vice president, right,
Paul de Podesta. So they literally went and hired the
guy that was Jonah Hill's character in Moneyball, that that
(24:04):
is Paul Dee Podesta. They kind of changed it around
significantly and just made him a different guy in that movie.
But essentially they hired the guy that was Jonah Hill
to run their entire football operation. And people are questioning
this move. They're saying, why would you hire a baseball guy?
Here's the Browns, Here's what the Browns were thinking, Here's
what Cleveland was thinking. The first offer they made was
not the Dee Podesta. The first offer they made was
(24:25):
actually to Jonah Hill, and they couldn't afford him. Jonah
Hill turn him down several times, and they said, well,
what's the second best thing? What can we do from here?
Should we try to get Michael Sarah? We can't get
Michael Sarah. Let's get Dee Podesta. Let's get the guy
that he played in Moneyball, who was next on the
list after Michael Sarah, the kid who played mclovin. Let's
(24:45):
think of that too. It's gonna make a minse plast joke,
great minds number. Wow that for a long time r
(25:07):
j VP listeners, you know what a treat that was
for me to hear. Brandon told me when I walked
in the studio that I had a surprise coming and
nailed it. Really knocked that out of the park. And
you know what, I like that version a lot better.
I haven't been a big fan of the song, but
when I heard that one, and that was clearly if
everyone knows that's Johnny cash Uh playing um he recorded
it just just a year ago. But excellent, excellent song,
(25:31):
and I kind of I kind of dig it's kind
of changed the way that I feel about Jacksonville. If
if in our if a Rosenthal and Jessel Nick Vanity
Project r j v B listener is out there and
they can show us proof that they are fifty nine
miles to Jacksonville at that moment, maybe some sort of
street signed I don't know we'll give you something. Well,
(25:51):
we'll have you. We'll have Greg's uncle send you a
book that you're supposed to give me for Christmas. Uh.
Next headline, let's talk about the Bills fans and just
give them a round of applause, really for the amazing
season that they've had, giving us so much enjoyment. Every
week Bills fans doing something crazier and crazier. We've talked
about it on the show, and for week seventeen, the
(26:14):
big finale, a Bills fan lit himself on fire after
jumping on a broken wooden board. No, it's not a
wooden it's a They jumped through tables. That's like the
big thing. The guy jumps to a table that's on
fire to set a table on fire. Then he jumps
through it. He was like a backslam. His back is
on fire. The guy runs away and then runs back
(26:36):
to the table. He's still on fire, so's the table.
And then they put out the fire with beer. They
poured beer all over him. Every single person in the video,
and there are dozens of people in this video, they
are all laughing. Everyone is enjoying this poor bastard on fire. Uh,
it is, it is great, and I love what I
love about the Bills. Not only did they take out
the Jets, which I really needed this week to get
(26:57):
into the playoffs. Uh. If the playoffs, I might I
might not have shown up. If if we didn't make
the playoffs, if my season was over now, i'd be
I'd be pretty upset. Um, But I like that the
Bills have picked it up each week, you know. I
mean it starts with like a table slam, and then
it's like a guy slamming a guy into a table.
It just keeps going and going that I love it.
(27:17):
And uh, and I'm sorry, my cell phone's going off.
I'm blown up. Probably got a job. Nope, it's my sister. Um,
maybe he deals with my sister. That would explain a lot.
I would explain a lot. I like to know what
the Bills fans are gonna do next year to top this.
(27:38):
After you slam yourself through a table on fire and
catch on fire and have your friends put you out
with beer, what's next? Like, Greg, what do you think
it is going to be the thing next year for
the Bills fans? Well, the craziest thing they did this year,
it was really a lot of sexual acts so maybe
maybe they could light themselves on fire while in the
middle of like them doesn't find and put their hands
(27:59):
in each other's pan. That could be that would keep
everybody warm. I think if I'm gonna and I don't
think I'm talking out of school here, public beheadings. That
was the Godets, the Cadets. Roger Goodell tried to put
(28:20):
together a girl group. If you if you follow the
show Empire, you know they're always trying to put together
girl groups and h it's kind of it's kind of
ripped from the headlines of Roger Goodell's life. He tried
to put together the Goodets and they just couldn't get
it together. You know. It's it's it's four women their
period sync up and they just start going ballistic and
they can't they can't get it together in the booth
(28:41):
and it just didn't It didn't work out. So the Cadets,
that was their only song, the only song. You actually
you just described the plot to Sistershood of a Traveling
Pants three. Is that the thing that that's what happened? No, no,
but I do want to tell you that, uh I
won sarad Emma my wife haughing in the other room,
and then I kind of walked over to find out
(29:02):
what it was, and it was you making the joke
about Roger Goodell and the Godets. She just loved, just
loved that that image. Is this not the first time
I made that joke? If I made it before? Yeah,
I think you call them that at one point. I
mean they've they've they've helped out earlier. Their music was
on an earlier program. I forgot that well. He fronted
a group. He fronted them for a little while, and
(29:23):
then he tried to let them do like a spinoff
to their own thing. It was like, I'm busy, uh surfing.
Then then then it all kind of fell apart. It's tough.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver Mike Evans was ejected from
last week's game against the Panthers for disrespecting disrespectfully addressing yes,
(29:44):
which has never been done before. Have you do you
think this has ever happened that the players gotten injected
for disrespectfully addressing an official. When when you brought that
up to me, I thought, sure that happens all the time,
but that really only happens in basketball, constant baseball. You know,
if you yell at the officials. You you never really
see it, and they even give you. In baseball, they
give you, they give you some rope you've really got,
(30:06):
You've really got a pull on that rope to hang yourself.
In baseball, basketball, they're a little more ready. They're willing
to give it to you because everyone knows what you
said on the court. But in football it's unheard of.
It is unheard of. And here's what he said. Here's
what he said that you can hear if you really
play the audience. This is gonna get bleeped for sure,
There's no way around it. He just says, I don't
know what the ref says to him. I think he's
trying to get a flag for past interference. It's it's uh,
(30:28):
Mike Evans wide receivers trying to get the flag and
the ref doesn't give it to him. The ref says
something to him, and he says, you know what, ref,
I don't give a boom flag. Gone ejected, which makes
me think, and then the referee has to say he
has to get on the mic and say he's being
ejected for disrespectfully addressing an official, which is the weakest
(30:51):
thing I've ever heard. It's like he's the most sensitive
referee in the world. He's the most sensitive referee since
Billy Crystal from Forget Paris, a movie I've never seen,
but I remember the commercial in the trailer. Do you
guys remember this. I'm looking at these suns in the booth,
were waiting Sydneys back there, who produced an episode a
few weeks ago. Of course she's been hotail. We now
(31:13):
actually bring her to watch each show just to make Brandon, uh,
there's fifteen years younger than and it was it was
like it was like Billy Crystals. No one remembers that movie.
I don't remember that. I remember it existed. But do
you guys remember the movie? What was the one with
Meg Ryan? Which one which I've never seen. Did he
just did? The one wasn't? And Forget Paris? W Harry
(31:35):
met salth He did When Harry met sal was a
huge hit. I've never seen that. But then a couple
of years later, who tried to recapture the magic with
Forget Paris? And he plays a basketball referee And I
remember the commercials because there's a terrible scene where and
this is like years after Cream and bul Jabbar retired
but he's on the court and he throws out he
teas up Crem blul Jabar and kicks him out of
the game. And Cream says, but it's my farewell game.
(31:57):
And Creem is an amazing actor as we all know,
but it's my farewell game. And Billy Crystal, with a
big smile on his face, says, will let me be
the first to say farewell, and with a big smile,
as if people wouldn't lose their minds if you kicked
Kareem out of his farewell game. Billy Crystal way too
sensitive to be a referee, and that's why that's why
(32:18):
no one respects him to this day. That was Roger Goodell. Obviously,
you guys, I mean, if you guys are been paying attention,
you know you can kind of tell his style. That
(32:39):
was a song. Remember when Atlantis Morrisset was huge. He
was His biggest goal besides becoming NFL commissioner was to
write a song for Atlantis Morisset and he kept sending
her that almost almost every day. Uh. It was the
song was supposed to be about The lyrics were going
to be about Uncle Jesse from Full House. As we
all know, you ought to Know was about Uncle Joey.
(33:02):
This was gonna be about Uncle Jesse or conflicted feelings
for Uncle Jesse on full House. But he never got
the lyrics together and never worked out. But the song,
the song lives on. The song lives like the Brandon
and Sydney behind behind the Glass are pretty like do
you even know you ought to Know? By Atlantis more? Yeah, okay,
you never know. That's that's Sydney's a ring tone. It
(33:24):
is it is. He nailed it edited because that was
so two thousand fifteen. That was Goodell Again, that was
Goodell's early stuff that way, he tried to get that
(33:47):
that well. That was a rejected opening credit sequence from
Saved by the Bell The College Years when he worked
in television in the beginning of his career. And not
a bad song, not a great song. I think what
they ended up going with first Saved by the Bell
The College Years was even better. Mike Again, that was
also Bob go look in that in that theories. A
lot of people, you know, downplay that series because it's
(34:08):
not as good as the original, you know, the Saved
by the Bell. But Bob Golick in that series is incredible.
I wasn't like a great performance. I wasn't a big
sit by the bell guy. I was Dukes of Hazzard
or g TfL uh. This our last headline of the
week is something everyone's been talking about, especially Brian or Lacker.
Brian or Lacker, famous Bears linebacker, one of the best
(34:32):
Bears linebackers of all time, and that's saying something has
hair all of a sudden for the first time in
his life. Yeah, he came out and he essentially was
a promoting a group that you know regrows hair, and
he had this big reveal. While he's you know, sponsored
by this this local company, it doesn't seem like it's
(34:53):
some big company in Chicago. And he basically hit the
airwaves in Chicago, all the local radio, local television so
that people can see his hair. And it looks completely
insane because you've never seen him with hair, and it looks,
you know, like asteroid terif essentially, No, I think I disagree.
I think it looks good. Like if you had never
seen him before, you'd be like, oh, that's normal hair.
And if he was like I'm Brian or Lacker's brother,
(35:15):
He's like, Okay, I see what's up. Because the Lacker
always shaved it. He wasn't like going bald. You never
saw him with kind of like a like a balding
kind of thing like that. You just assume that person,
if they do that, is bald. Why would you do
that otherwise? What do you mean? Don't you just assume
everyone that bicks their hair is bald. Yeah, But it's
like this, like if you if the first time you
met me, I had long hair like down to my shoulders,
(35:35):
you wouldn't You wouldn't think I thought anything of it.
But if I walked in now with hair down on
my shoulders, you'd like, what's going on? So the first
time you see someone, that's the thing where knowing him
the way you've known him your whole life. That's why
it's weird. But I think the hair actually looks good.
It looks pretty natural. My favorite thing is the quote,
the quote that he gave on one of the news programs,
or Lacker says, I know I look a little better,
(35:56):
a little better. He's promoting this thing that it was
him for Freeze. I know I look a little better
because I was going to a fancy restaurant one day
and I had my hat off by accident. What does
that even mean? I was getting food and this girl goes,
you look like Brian or Lacker, but he's a lot
older looking than you. First of all, that never happened,
he says. This was when I had hair. She goes,
(36:19):
you look a lot older than you. I was like,
you're right, thank you. So basically she was telling me
I look kind of young. I love. He does the
story and then has to sum it up at the end. Uh,
Brian or Lacker? Uh, pretty good hair. My I got
a theory about this, Greg, What that people that use
the word fancy restaurants usually don't go to fancy restaurants.
(36:42):
I've been the people who use the word fancy restaurants
only take their hat off by accident. Air quotes. I
I wonder if it really was Brian or Lacker. Could
have been Johnny Man's that goes and comes around Oma.
(37:09):
That was me? Wow, yep, that was me. Now it's
time for a segment. Loyal r j VP listeners know
that we do this every single week. It's one of
my favorite segments. I know it's Greg's uncle's favorite segment.
It's time for Who's had sex on Christmas Eve? Carolina
(37:29):
Panthers quarterback Kim Newton and his girlfriend Kia pruct Welcome
to brand new baby boy into the world. Chosen Sebastian
Newton is in perfect health in ways nine pounds six ounces.
And you know what that means, Greg? They had sex. Oh,
(37:51):
that's a lifelong dream. That was. That was who's had sex?
You know what, Greg, let's take it the recommendation station
sit back, right, sit back, sit back to right, sit back?
(38:15):
What a step from it? Sounds like it was sounds
like it was evidence used in a trial. It was
an album that had a woman bending over with just
bottoms and it looked like it was a thong of sorts.
But you're talking about, you know, the official NFL licensed,
(38:36):
approved in the house music that we are forced to
play because we're no longer allowed to play commercial music.
That was one of the suns. That might just be
our new theme song or maybe just play that in
between everything. Honestly, it made me uncomfortable that song. It
made me very uncomfortable. I can't that song. How excited
were you when you found that song? Brands so so excited?
(38:59):
It is it is, it is unethical, It is over
the line. It's great it's a little too faced that
the NFL supports program and music like that while they're
not letting us do our thing. Unlivable Recommendation Station, Greg
last week was a fiasco for you. Try not to
recommend something that we would have read in sixth grade
(39:20):
and then talk about it for we stand by Anne
Frank all day long, but I won't recommend it this week.
It was a great book top ten. Uh, Billy Lynn's
Halftime Walk. It was a football show. So I'm gonna
um give you a book and a movie that's football related.
Billy Len's Halftime Walk. It's really a post war book
(39:40):
more than it is a football book, but it all
takes place at halftime of a Cowboys game. Check that out.
It's great things. I own it. I have not read
it yet. It's really it's really amazing, and there's a
Jerry Jones like character in it, which is really interesting.
He just captures a lot of stuff. And then Uh.
The documentary I wanted to recommend, under feedd from about
(40:01):
three or four years ago. I believe it was nominated
for an Oscar. Maybe my favorite sports documentary of all time.
Had me in tears in the theater I'm not afraid
to admit, just like a but you know, it's a
low level movie, but it got picked up in a
few places, ended up getting nominated. It's unbelievable, undefeated. What's
it about. I haven't seen it, but I know i've
seen the Post's basically one of those high school you know,
(40:22):
season in all life, high school football team that means
so much to the town, that that type of thing.
You've seen stuff like that. But the Tigers, I think
it was Massillian Tigers. But it's not Go Tigers. It's
the same it's the same town. I believe I'm messing
it up, but that's it. I was thinking of Go Tigers.
Those are those are good recommendations, very football related. I'm
just gonna talk about things that I that I'm reading
(40:43):
right now that i've seen lately. The book i'm reading
when Now was a great book. If you guys are
listening to this podcast, it's not for Greg, you know,
I mean, let's let's be real, it's not because of Greg.
It's because of me. So you love comedy. This book
came out to maybe like a month ago. It's called
The Comedians. It's a nonfiction book. It's about the history
of common the Uh in the in the world, I guess,
but it's it's it's basically in America. But America, America
(41:04):
is the birthplace of stand up comedy for sure. If
you can hear any comic from outside of the country,
they suck. And you can take that to the blood bank, Senator. Uh,
it's it's. It's full of great stories. It's a great
history and really funny, interesting stories. They just like crack
me up. Like I'll tell one of the stories. Shaky
Green and Buddy Hackett, we're best friends and huge drinkers.
(41:26):
And one day in Vegas, they they they're hanging out,
they're drinking, they're gonna waste in the middle of the day.
I think it's like ten o'clock in the morning, and
they're walking across the street and Buddy Hackett always had
a gun for some reason, was always carrying around a handgun.
And they're walking across the street and Buddy Hackett stops
in the middle of an intersection and check keeps walking.
Go Schecky, you know what. CHECKI turns around, he's like what.
He goes You're a waldo And Checky goes what And
(41:50):
he goes you know what, You're a double Waldo, And
Jackie Green says, I have no idea what that means,
what a waldo is, but I know you shouldn't say
that to me when I'm drunk. So he runs over,
hunches Buddy Hackett in the face, takes his gun and
his car keys and throws them into the desert and
then runs away. And hours later Buddy Hackett calls him
on the phone and his check. It's Buddy. You know,
(42:10):
if people are with us this morning, they would think
we didn't like each other, and they went on being friends.
And I love that You're a double Waldo. So that's
the book The Comedians by Cliff nestor Off. I'll spell
his first named k l I pH nestor Off. I
don't need to spell that, you know. And then this
movie that I saw this This woman and I went
to a party on Christmas Eve and this woman and
(42:32):
I would recommending things to each other, and she said,
go see this movie called Dog Tooth. It came out
in two thousand nine. It's the first movie from Greece
that's ever been nominated for an Oscar maybe the only
movie since it's an incredible movie. I loved It's about
ninety minutes long. It's about parents who are kind of
crazy and they keep their children on their property and
they don't let them leave the property. They have this
(42:54):
weird mythology they invent for why they can't leave the house.
And at the time you join the movie, it's when
the kids are old enough that they kind of start
to rebel and things get weird and it is just
an insane, crazy movie. I loved it. My favorite part
of this is that this woman says, you know, I'm
gonna watch your special on Netflix this weekend. And I said, oh,
I'm gonna watch Dog Tooth. And I thought, you know,
she's gonna text me and say what, tell me what
(43:15):
she thought, and then I'll tell her what I thought
of Dog Tooth. I loved it, but I can't tell
her first, you know. I mean, I can't be like
Dogtooth was great, because then it's like I'm fishing for
a compliment. But I have not heard from this woman
in weeks, so I think she saw the special. It
was not a fan. She's probably more a Milaney lady.
My loves it to me, my mother that was Brandon
(43:44):
that was That wasn't even a song that was just
Brandon interrupting. I asked him to play a song he
didn't have when ready, he panicked and that was him.
Good job, Bread. I'm I'm surprised, as close as I get.
I like that you're showing a different side of you, Brandon,
that you're not afraid to be vulnerable. Hey, it's that's
(44:04):
what happens when you do this show for a while.
You gotta open up, Will said. Chris Clements is a
player on the Jaguars. Probably don't know him. Used to
be on the Seahawks. Uh was a pass rusher for
the Seahawks when they when they won the Super Bowl.
He is part of our hot take of the Week
(44:25):
this week, which is from Ryan O'Halleran of the Times
Union UH in Jacksonville. I believe it's called the Florida
Times Union, and he sent out a tweet that got
some attention this week recapping a conversation he had with
Mr Clements in the locker room. Clements said to o halleran,
while while with a group of reporters, you're the head
(44:47):
of the group. And then Ryan responded to Chris Clemens
have fun getting cut and that this was just with
no context. Out of the blue, he decides to put
that up. Then then Ryan Ryan Ohiller and follows up
and he says Clemens called the Jacksonville media racist, et cetera.
And then he points out that Chris Clemens had no tackles,
(45:09):
no stats at all that day. I don't really know
what the take is. I guess the take is that
the Jacksonville media is racist. To take ryin Ryinal Holleran's
take is that Ronald Halleran Ryano hollerran like, it's like
a really clever, like cool guy, Like, it's not okay
if you just said that, if you just said have
fun getting cut and other people around him heard it,
be like, oh, that was kind of funny what he said.
(45:30):
But when you tweet out like your own cool comeback,
that's not cool. I don't like. I don't like Rhinal Hallerwan,
and I would absolutely believe that much like everyone else
in Jacksonville, that the media is racist. Well, the whole
tweet proved, you know, Chris Clemons point. That's the part
I didn't get. That was my immediate reaction to this
is that Chris Clemmons think this guy's dead, And so
(45:52):
what he immediately does via dickhead by saying, have fun
losing your job to Clemmons, And I'm gonna send this
out to everyone. I know. We're definitely gonna to believe that,
aren't we? Probably? Yeah, such a slab move, Greg that
was a hot take of the week, Jackson, Jackson, God,
(46:24):
I love that song and you know what I feel like,
I want to play the piano along to the song.
Does that make sense? Like? That's what the song inspires
in me, is to kind of add something to it.
I think we each one of us can hear this
song and bring our own bring our own instrument. I
want to hear your take on this question for asking
Anthony Timminy Cricket. That's what he goes by. It's a
(46:46):
real name. Well, it goes that's his name on Twitter
at Timmy Little Robot is his name? Which is just
as ridiculous. Is that a picture of Anthony in Gilmore
Girls episode two from season four and with this email
or tweet rather, he included a screen capture And there's
(47:08):
some sort of wall in a Gilmore Girls episode where
it has a bunch of people that appeared to have
graduated from a high school and one of those pictures
is Anthony, a young Anthony jessel Nick with a tie on.
It really was you, yes that. I'm so happy with
this question people. I've seen people on Twitter kind of
bring this up, but no one's ever like directly asked
(47:29):
me if that was me episode of Gilmore Girls. I've
never seen an episode of Gilmore Girls, but right, that's
that's me a twenty two years old. My first day
of work, I moved out to Los Angeles from New Orleans. Came,
I was there. Yeah, we we lived together. I was
in the car. Yeah, I mean no, we drove out separately.
We we car we I was driving behind you. If
(47:50):
you remember, we had walkie talkies, which you abandoned once
you picked up your girlfriend and would not talk to
me in the walkie talkie anymore, which was depressing. How
long did you guys have talkies? Well, because you I mean,
we had cell phones also, but if you're in a car,
like we were following each other from from Pittsburgh all
the way to Los Angeles. So I was like, let's
get walkie talkies so we can just talk about let's
(48:11):
pull over for gas, and it was instead of having
to call someone, we just pick it up and do it.
And it was really fun. We would make jokes we
had remember we had a hilarious run. We would do jokes.
I don't remember anything. Oh my god, this is so
great we had. We would do jokes about and then
we're so off topic now. We would do jokes about
like we were talking about how big I were, and
(48:32):
I just we were just like we would just drive
by this on like giant, like some giant building, and like, Greg,
see that thing, that's a big We would laugh. We
would laugh for hours doing this and we we had
We really had fun doing it. And then we stopped
in Chicago and pick up Greg's girlfriend and then drove
the rest of the way with with Ruth. And then
you guys would not talk to me on the walkie
(48:52):
talkie anymore. I would keep talking to you and you
would never respond. It was it was kind of sad.
But then we get to l A and the first
thing I did, I didn't know what to do. And
someone said, if you want to be an extra on
TV shows or movies, you just go to this building.
You fill out a form. You tell them like what
you're height and weight and like your ages, they take
a picture of you, and then every morning you call
this hotlines that took Casting Central. I did it too.
(49:12):
I did the West Wing. You did the West Wing? Really,
I did it went. I did one day and it
was so depressing, and I was like, that's it's so sad,
it's so awful. I did it twice. I did two
days in a row. I did for my first day
was Gilmore Girls, and I didn't know what I was doing.
I showed up and I didn't bring a book or anything.
I thought like, I'm going to work and you just
sit around all day with a bunch of other like
(49:32):
nobody's who are doing nothing and uh, and then they
took my picture. As I think that episode the Gilmore
Girls go to Harvard to look at Harvard and the
mom is looking at this wall of valedictorians and I'm
one of the valedictorians. And I can't believe that people
pick me out of it, but they really, they're like, oh,
that's Anthony join They really noticed it. Now that it's
on Netflix or DVD or something, people tweet me a
(49:54):
lot this blue Emmica my wife. I guess I don't
even say my wife. It blew her mind when I
told her this, because she has watched every Gilmore Girls
episode four or five times, she never noticed you. And
now she's like, I think I know what episode that is,
I know what happened in that episode, but I don't
remember that. I do remember you or I don't remember,
but you told me that that you made us watch this.
(50:16):
This is what's funny to me is that, uh you
don't remember that all that I was on it. But
I remember specifically making everyone come over like it was you,
Chris Nelson, a couple of the people, and I was like,
let's watch this and see where I am. Like I
thought this, I'm in show biz. And I would be
like that's me. Like I would walk by a window
and be like that's me. And you guys were like
immediately like Anthony, this is not fun. It doesn't matter
that was you. No one cares stop this. Uh My.
(50:39):
My only other day of working as an extra was
I was in the movie Pluto Nash. At the very
end of the movie, you can kind of see me
dancing with some girl like in a weird suit from
the future, like behind Eddie Murphy pressing day. I remember
the girl I had to dance with. We kept talking
between takes and she was like, you know, you can
actually make a lot of money as an extra if
you become a SAG member. If you do enough of
this that you get your SAG card, you get paid
(51:01):
like four times as much, and like people just make
their living like that. And I want to go visit
you at work where you worked for Paul Hall or
old boss. And I said, Paul, I'm thinking about be
being like a professional extra, and he looked at me
and said, why the hell would you want to do that?
And that was the last time I ever thought of it,
and then I've never acted in anything since then. Um
that I hope that answers everyone's question. So that is
(51:22):
me and Gilmore Girls. That was my first ever taste
of show biziness. I want to send this picture out
because it's hilarious to see you, you know, all dressed
up as a valedictorian when you're eighteen twenty two years
so you looked Listener of the Week this week, uh
is by the name us motto GP fans. This is
(51:44):
on iTunes. Of course, we encourage everyone to tell your
friends about the podcast if you like it. That's how
we're gonna grow. You can leave ratings, five stars or whatever.
Leave a comment, helps it all, helps out Our favorite
list during of the week says the show is hilarious.
Every week. I'm surprised to see another episode posted. I
(52:05):
can't believe it hasn't been crashing down yet. Who would
have thought the soulless, monolithic NFL would let such an edgy,
subversive podcast keep peeking out from behind the shield? Try
to imagine Major League Baseball letting something like this to
survive the episode two. You can't do it. That's right,
Baseball steaks. That's me. Uh, maybe the NFL has a
(52:27):
soul after all? Who knew Roger Goodell was such a
musical genius? Rock on hope it continues into the off
season go our g v P and that that brings
up a topic that you know, you've been looking for
the NFL to step up its game in terms of
treating you right. We want to keep this show going.
There's a little bit of a concern we're here at
the end that the super Bowl could be the end
(52:47):
of this podcast. We're all a little you know, on
edge about this right now. Well, I'm not on edge
at all. I'm sure of it. I am sure that
that we will last in the super Bowl, and then uh,
and then I will uh, I will never up putting
in the studio again. That was Sydney. That was Sydney,
(53:15):
a co producer who got got a little jealous that
everyone was getting on the action with music, and Sydney decided, like,
you know what, I can do it too. I can
do anything the boys can do, only better. That's our Sydney.
By the way, Yeah, I can do that. I was
a little I was a little negative before about definitely
being done with this. The NFL could back up a
(53:37):
truck and get me to come here. I haven't. I've
enjoyed doing the podcast. I do not enjoy driving here.
I do not enjoy How about if we just send
a truck or a car to pick you up. That
would be a start. That would be that would be
a start. And I can't believe it hasn't happened already.
It shows me how little power you actually have here
at the network. I couldn't have gotten it because I
carried the shield. I carry it. Let's do predictions. Uh
(54:01):
this week I have not I've yet to repeat a
bit on the show. Uh. This week it was no exception.
This week I'm doing. My predictions are couched in a
segment I call Devil's Advocate. Greg is gonna make his
picks on the four wild card games this weekend, and
I'm gonna play Devil's advocate. So Greg, go ahead, you
start a good role for you. You want to described
your show as like a you know, a late night show,
(54:22):
as if it was hosted by Satan. Yeah, I described
my stand up as if Satan did stand up. I
just when I go to the bathroom, it's as if
Satan went to the bathroom. I am. When I take
a shower, it's like Satan is bathing, and that was
one too far when I brush my teeth. Now are
(54:45):
just making ourselves laugh. Let's talk about the first game
of the week. We've called this the no respect Ball.
No one believes in the Chiefs or the Texans. They're
kind of the eleventh and twelve team in the playoffs,
ten wins in a row, no one respects him. I
love it. I respect the Chiefs. I think they're gonna
win this game. I think Alex Smith gets way too
much credit. It's all about the defense and there's no
way they're letting Brian Hoyer and Jonathan Grimes score touchdowns,
(55:09):
Chiefs get into the divisional round within the game. All right,
let me play Devil's advocate here. Parents shouldn't vaccinate their children.
Children should vaccinate their parents. Houston wins turned down for Clowney.
I'm gonna take the Vikings against the Seahawks this week.
I know that's a big time upset. People just expect
(55:31):
Seattle to walk in destroy them. They beat him by
thirty one points a month ago, and they've played better since.
So it really makes no sense to take the Vikings.
But That's what I'm gonna do. Okay, let me play
Devil's advocate here. I think there should be a strict
background checks for buying guns in this country. But if
I passed the background check, I shouldn't have to buy
the gun. Just give it to me. Free guns. It's
(55:53):
in the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the Bible.
Seattle on the road, Green Bay Packers head to Washington
in a fascinating game. The Washington Post, talk about a
bad hot take of the week, asked the question this week,
who would you rather have for the next five years,
Kirk Cousins or Aaron Rodgers. Here's the answer. Kirk Cousins
(56:13):
is gonna get paid way too much by your lousy owner,
and the Redskins are gonna go back to the seller,
and then the downfall is gonna start this week when
the Packers beat him. Give me a break, Cousins versus
the guy who's won two m v ps. I like
the passion. Let me play Devil's advocate here. If eighteen
is old enough to vote, smoke cigarettes, and die for
your country, then it should be old enough to buy
(56:35):
alcohol for twelve year olds. Just saying, Washington wins in
a squeaker Uh, Cincinnati Pittsburgh. This is really the big
game of the week. It's on in prime time on
Saturday night. We'll have to talk about where you're watching
that game sometime later. But Bengal Steelers. Everyone is picking
(56:56):
the Steelers in this game that everyone saying this is
the this is the six seed. You don't want to
face the Steelers. Well, they haven't played very well the
last two weeks. The Bengals are bound to win one
of these years. They are oh in seven I believe,
since they last won a playoff game oh in six
under Marvin Lewis in the playoffs. This is a good roster.
Let the Bengals have a win. For one's Bengals get
(57:17):
the victory. It's an upset at home. First, let me say,
I watch every single Steelers game alone by myself. I
go so crazy. I get so I embarrassed myself that
I can even watch with other Steelers fans. I watch
alone by myself, And this game scares me because Cincinnati
is kind of do like. They haven't won. They haven't
won a playoff game in twenty seven years years. Yeah,
(57:37):
it's something crazy that frightens me. But let me play
Devils out of kids here. People who want a dog
shouldn't get it from a dog breeder. They should go
to a shelter and pay a homeless guy to act
like a dog. Pittsburgh, enough blowout. That was Roger Goodell
(58:04):
pushing a clown down the stairs. Now, Greg, before we go,
uh what? Uh? We haven't talked about them? How are
my god kids? How are how are Walker? And ellis
your son and daughter? Walker is basically a vacuum cleaner.
He's at He's a little crawling vacuum cleaner. Everything that
he sees, it's like all
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