October 29, 2025 • 8 mins
The bird theory is a relationship trend where one person points out a bird and sees how the other reacts to see if they care!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the pres show.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Dan is taking over Las Vegas this January for his
seven night presidency Adobe Live at Park MGM. And we've
got a trip for two to the January twenty fifth
show to night Hotel State at Park MGM January twenty
fourth through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare. Text
direction to three seven three three seven now for a
chance to win. A confirmation text will be said. Standard
(00:22):
message of data rates may apply. All thanks to Live
Nation and Caman pointed this out. I saw it on
TikTok over the weekend as well. But bird theory. Have
you heard about bird theory?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Yeah? This is another test. It sure is a test,
another test. I don't like a test.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I don't like a situation where I'm in a relationship
or a friendship and someone is doing something intentionally to
test my reaction.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
And then they already know what I'm supposed to do
in their heads ahead, or whomever's asking me to do
this the bird theory. The bird test is a social
media trend in relationship concept where a person points out
something mundane like a bird, to gay their partner's reaction
as a measure of attentiveness and connection.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Did you try it?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I'm way too scared because I already know what the
answer is going to be, and I will probably end
up fight.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Like, he's not going to care that I said there's
a bird, like take a look.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
He my husband supports me and all that I do,
but my husband's too logical and he's not going to
care about.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
A bird in that moment.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
So he would say, you would say, hey, look there,
that's a that's a pretty bird out there, and he'd go, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah, he would just be like, I don't know, like
what bird or like he'd be.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Like, okay, what would Mike do if he pointed out
a bird? Yeah? I mean he would do the same thing.
We got two mics.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Now, we got military, we got the mechanic.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Okay military you apologies?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, just know which one I'm talking about. I didn't say,
like the mechanic, so it's not your fault. What would
what would what would like the mechanic do?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I think?
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I mean I do this like if we're like driving
and they say like a deer, like, oh, look at
the deer, and he'll like look and we're like, oh
my god, deer, Like.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
I don't know if it's that, but I think like
we just like animals, So I feel like he would
want to look at the bird.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Okay, what if it were something else, What if it
were like look at uh, look at the pothole, I
mean something it.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Was like less of an interest. Yeah if yeah, I
guess if.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
You like animals, I'm the same way, like if you
were to say to me, like, look at that bird, like,
I'm assuming that you're showing me something that I that
I think is like I wouldn't normally see. Like if
you say to me, look at that bird, I'm assuming
it's not just one of the thirty pigeons at that.
I mean, I'm assuming you look, you're pointing out a
bald eagle or something like, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Yeah, I don't know, like I'll show him like I'm like,
oh mean, I look at this picture of Kim Kardashian
on Instagram, and I know he doesn't care about the Kardashians.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
They'll still look okay, all right? And then and then
military mic, we had lots of mics. Well what would
you do you point out? Because I'll tell you what
this all means. But what would so he if you
just pointed out something just ridiculous, just normal, just whatever,
look at that uh tree? What would what would he
do when you look at it?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
To me the lines of hobby, he'd probably be like
huh okay cool and like go back to like I
don't know and whatever he's doing, like he yeah, I
don't know that.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
He would be like, wow, that is cool. I like this.
I don't like anything.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I'm that you already are looking for an outcome from me,
and then you've already established what the outcome means.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I don't like it, especially if you got it on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
But the bid is one partner makes a bid for
connection by pointing out something insignificant, like look at that
bird the turn the other partner responds turning forward. A
partner who turns to look responds with interest or acknowledges
that the bid is seen as responsive and connected, or
acknowledges that you would then be a connected person if
you don't pay attention and don't care. A partner who ignores, dismisses,
(03:34):
or gets annoyed by the comment is not seen as engaged.
That seems obvious to me. Okay, I'm either into what
you're pointing out or I'm not. But I think that
the amount of how much I'm into it would matter
on the amount of interest in what you're pointing out.
Like if you're pointing out that you're choking and I
turn away, then that's the problem. But if you're pointing
(03:54):
out that you're choking and then I try and save you,
call it, you know, for help and do the Heimli maneuver,
then I obviously care. But I mean that's different. Then Hey, look,
it's something very normal that you see every day. I
don't know that I would necessarily. I think it comes
down to not everything that my partner says is the
most brilliant thing I've ever heard, And that doesn't make
(04:16):
me a bad person. That just means like we're living together,
we're together every day. We spend all these hours and
minutes together. So if you point out something mundane, I
might not necessarily get up from my laptop to run
to the window every single time. But I don't think
that makes me inattentive.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Does it. That's what they're saying. But I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
I feel like you and my husband, Hobby are very
logical people that you would take it a little too
far over this dumb trend, like I'm just asking you
to pay attention for five seconds and look at this bird.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So the bird test is a simplified way to illustrate
concepts from the Gotman Institute. Doctor John Gottman's research found
that happy couples turn toward each other's bits for connection
eighty six percent of the time. In contrast, couples who
are headed for divorce only turned towards these bits about
thirty three eight percent of the time. A positive reaction
suggests a healthy and supportive relationship where partners feel seen
(05:05):
and heard. A negative reaction can indicate a lack of attention,
emotional distance, or that the relationship might be in trouble considerations.
The test can be applied to anything, not just birds.
It works in various relationship not just romantic ones. While
the theory has a basis in relationship science, it's a
simplified tool factor. It's like partner being tired, distracted, or
(05:26):
genuinely uninterested in birds can lead to a negative reaction
that isn't a true reflection of the relationship's health. Some
argue that constantly using the tests for minor things could
become annoying over time. That's the other thing is I
feel like you're going to try this many many times
and then either you're gonna get a false positive where
finally someone picks up on it is like oh cool,
(05:47):
another bird, or or they're gonna get annoyed with you,
and that it's not really a test of whether they care.
They're just like, why are you using a stupid internet
test on me?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I don't do trends or tests. I really don't. You
don't do tests. I'm very see. I am very a
testy person.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I know.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I wanted to say that five minutes ago, but I
got scared. I am very testy, but I don't like
doing them for the show. Like I don't doing them
for like the TikTok or like the like look at this,
I'm gonna try to get you.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
I don't want to get you. But you're not a
prank cop.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
I'm not a prank people. No, I'm pranks, but I
don't test people to their limits. That's true that I
have a failing this. I just I think this is
gonna set you up for failure. It is because most
people are not all that impressed by looking at a bird,
so so like you needed like like, hey, look at
this amazing adult video I found, Like boom, I'm paying attention,
(06:33):
like look at the airplane.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Look there's an airplane. What kind of airplanes?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
And now I'm paying attention And I granted that's about me,
but it's like, look at how I look in this,
in this new very revealing outfit. I'm paying attention, Like
like come on, like come on, like, let's let's come
up with ways that Like if you walk in a
room and you're like, look at the new lingerie that
I purchased and I don't even turn to look that
(06:58):
I failed the test, like Jesson, if you walk in
a new lingerie and new skims and Mike the mechanic
has now Harry specified which Mike I'm talking about, because
if military Mike walked in, that's weird. But if Mike
the mechanic walked in and or whatever and he didn't
even acknowledge you, now that's bad. But if you're like,
look at the pigeon and it's just pigeoning and he
(07:19):
doesn't turn to look at you, I don't know that.
I think your relationship is doomed.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
No, I don't think so I think it's like situational too,
Like I know if he's in his phone, like he
is a very one track mind, like it's very we
do not multitest very well. So like if he's in
his phone, I know that I cannot tell him anythingcause
he's not paying attention like anything.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
You'd be like, look at that house is on fire,
and he like won't even hear me. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Maybe I'm just flailing at this test, and I'm just
publicly proclaiming that I'm flailing at this test, and everyone's
listening now going, this is why you're not in a relationship, dude,
because because if she points out the bird, look at
the damn bird, and I'm like, yeah, but I'd fall
for this. I would fall for the skitch in the
lives here because I wouldn't pay. I don't necessarily think
I would be impressed by a bird, like give me
(08:01):
something better, Like, hey, look at the lion walking down
the street, Like okay.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Right now, we look at that zebra. Yeah wow, Like.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Like I'm about to tell you about monkeys that got
released and have herpes and hepatitis.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Look at the monkey that hepatatia.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Now I am now let me see where that is,
so I don't go anywhere near it, don't pet the monkey.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You know now?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
That is that we should call this the herpes monkey test. Okay,
if you poured out a herpes monkey, I don't look, and.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I'm not impressed by that, and I'm not trying to
avoid it. If you're not interested in seeing a monkey
with herpes, we have
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Relationship, right, we have a serious bra or if I
run towards it, let's do headlines, man,
This is the pres show.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Dan is taking over Las Vegas this January for his
seven night presidency Adobe Live at Park MGM. And we've
got a trip for two to the January twenty fifth
show to night Hotel State at Park MGM January twenty
fourth through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare. Text
direction to three seven three three seven now for a
chance to win. A confirmation text will be said. Standard
(00:22):
message of data rates may apply. All thanks to Live
Nation and Caman pointed this out. I saw it on
TikTok over the weekend as well. But bird theory. Have
you heard about bird theory?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Yeah? This is another test. It sure is a test,
another test. I don't like a test.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I don't like a situation where I'm in a relationship
or a friendship and someone is doing something intentionally to
test my reaction.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
And then they already know what I'm supposed to do
in their heads ahead, or whomever's asking me to do
this the bird theory. The bird test is a social
media trend in relationship concept where a person points out
something mundane like a bird, to gay their partner's reaction
as a measure of attentiveness and connection.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Did you try it?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I'm way too scared because I already know what the
answer is going to be, and I will probably end
up fight.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Like, he's not going to care that I said there's
a bird, like take a look.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
He my husband supports me and all that I do,
but my husband's too logical and he's not going to
care about.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
A bird in that moment.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
So he would say, you would say, hey, look there,
that's a that's a pretty bird out there, and he'd go, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Yeah, he would just be like, I don't know, like
what bird or like he'd be.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Like, okay, what would Mike do if he pointed out
a bird? Yeah? I mean he would do the same thing.
We got two mics.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Now, we got military, we got the mechanic.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Okay military you apologies?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Yeah, just know which one I'm talking about. I didn't say,
like the mechanic, so it's not your fault. What would
what would what would like the mechanic do?
Speaker 1 (01:48):
I think?
Speaker 4 (01:48):
I mean I do this like if we're like driving
and they say like a deer, like, oh, look at
the deer, and he'll like look and we're like, oh
my god, deer, Like.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (01:56):
I don't know if it's that, but I think like
we just like animals, So I feel like he would
want to look at the bird.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Okay, what if it were something else, What if it
were like look at uh, look at the pothole, I
mean something it.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Was like less of an interest. Yeah if yeah, I
guess if.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
You like animals, I'm the same way, like if you
were to say to me, like, look at that bird, like,
I'm assuming that you're showing me something that I that
I think is like I wouldn't normally see. Like if
you say to me, look at that bird, I'm assuming
it's not just one of the thirty pigeons at that.
I mean, I'm assuming you look, you're pointing out a
bald eagle or something like, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Yeah, I don't know, like I'll show him like I'm like,
oh mean, I look at this picture of Kim Kardashian
on Instagram, and I know he doesn't care about the Kardashians.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
They'll still look okay, all right? And then and then
military mic, we had lots of mics. Well what would
you do you point out? Because I'll tell you what
this all means. But what would so he if you
just pointed out something just ridiculous, just normal, just whatever,
look at that uh tree? What would what would he
do when you look at it?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
To me the lines of hobby, he'd probably be like
huh okay cool and like go back to like I
don't know and whatever he's doing, like he yeah, I
don't know that.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
He would be like, wow, that is cool. I like this.
I don't like anything.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
I'm that you already are looking for an outcome from me,
and then you've already established what the outcome means.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I don't like it, especially if you got it on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
But the bid is one partner makes a bid for
connection by pointing out something insignificant, like look at that
bird the turn the other partner responds turning forward. A
partner who turns to look responds with interest or acknowledges
that the bid is seen as responsive and connected, or
acknowledges that you would then be a connected person if
you don't pay attention and don't care. A partner who ignores, dismisses,
(03:34):
or gets annoyed by the comment is not seen as engaged.
That seems obvious to me. Okay, I'm either into what
you're pointing out or I'm not. But I think that
the amount of how much I'm into it would matter
on the amount of interest in what you're pointing out.
Like if you're pointing out that you're choking and I
turn away, then that's the problem. But if you're pointing
(03:54):
out that you're choking and then I try and save you,
call it, you know, for help and do the Heimli maneuver,
then I obviously care. But I mean that's different. Then Hey, look,
it's something very normal that you see every day. I
don't know that I would necessarily. I think it comes
down to not everything that my partner says is the
most brilliant thing I've ever heard, And that doesn't make
(04:16):
me a bad person. That just means like we're living together,
we're together every day. We spend all these hours and
minutes together. So if you point out something mundane, I
might not necessarily get up from my laptop to run
to the window every single time. But I don't think
that makes me inattentive.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Does it. That's what they're saying. But I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
I feel like you and my husband, Hobby are very
logical people that you would take it a little too
far over this dumb trend, like I'm just asking you
to pay attention for five seconds and look at this bird.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So the bird test is a simplified way to illustrate
concepts from the Gotman Institute. Doctor John Gottman's research found
that happy couples turn toward each other's bits for connection
eighty six percent of the time. In contrast, couples who
are headed for divorce only turned towards these bits about
thirty three eight percent of the time. A positive reaction
suggests a healthy and supportive relationship where partners feel seen
(05:05):
and heard. A negative reaction can indicate a lack of attention,
emotional distance, or that the relationship might be in trouble considerations.
The test can be applied to anything, not just birds.
It works in various relationship not just romantic ones. While
the theory has a basis in relationship science, it's a
simplified tool factor. It's like partner being tired, distracted, or
(05:26):
genuinely uninterested in birds can lead to a negative reaction
that isn't a true reflection of the relationship's health. Some
argue that constantly using the tests for minor things could
become annoying over time. That's the other thing is I
feel like you're going to try this many many times
and then either you're gonna get a false positive where
finally someone picks up on it is like oh cool,
(05:47):
another bird, or or they're gonna get annoyed with you,
and that it's not really a test of whether they care.
They're just like, why are you using a stupid internet
test on me?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I don't do trends or tests. I really don't. You
don't do tests. I'm very see. I am very a
testy person.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
I know.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
I wanted to say that five minutes ago, but I
got scared. I am very testy, but I don't like
doing them for the show. Like I don't doing them
for like the TikTok or like the like look at this,
I'm gonna try to get you.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
I don't want to get you. But you're not a
prank cop.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
I'm not a prank people. No, I'm pranks, but I
don't test people to their limits. That's true that I
have a failing this. I just I think this is
gonna set you up for failure. It is because most
people are not all that impressed by looking at a bird,
so so like you needed like like, hey, look at
this amazing adult video I found, Like boom, I'm paying attention,
(06:33):
like look at the airplane.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Look there's an airplane. What kind of airplanes?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
And now I'm paying attention And I granted that's about me,
but it's like, look at how I look in this,
in this new very revealing outfit. I'm paying attention, Like
like come on, like come on, like, let's let's come
up with ways that Like if you walk in a
room and you're like, look at the new lingerie that
I purchased and I don't even turn to look that
(06:58):
I failed the test, like Jesson, if you walk in
a new lingerie and new skims and Mike the mechanic
has now Harry specified which Mike I'm talking about, because
if military Mike walked in, that's weird. But if Mike
the mechanic walked in and or whatever and he didn't
even acknowledge you, now that's bad. But if you're like,
look at the pigeon and it's just pigeoning and he
(07:19):
doesn't turn to look at you, I don't know that.
I think your relationship is doomed.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
No, I don't think so I think it's like situational too,
Like I know if he's in his phone, like he
is a very one track mind, like it's very we
do not multitest very well. So like if he's in
his phone, I know that I cannot tell him anythingcause
he's not paying attention like anything.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
You'd be like, look at that house is on fire,
and he like won't even hear me. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Maybe I'm just flailing at this test, and I'm just
publicly proclaiming that I'm flailing at this test, and everyone's
listening now going, this is why you're not in a relationship, dude,
because because if she points out the bird, look at
the damn bird, and I'm like, yeah, but I'd fall
for this. I would fall for the skitch in the
lives here because I wouldn't pay. I don't necessarily think
I would be impressed by a bird, like give me
(08:01):
something better, Like, hey, look at the lion walking down
the street, Like okay.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Right now, we look at that zebra. Yeah wow, Like.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Like I'm about to tell you about monkeys that got
released and have herpes and hepatitis.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Look at the monkey that hepatatia.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Now I am now let me see where that is,
so I don't go anywhere near it, don't pet the monkey.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
You know now?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
That is that we should call this the herpes monkey test. Okay,
if you poured out a herpes monkey, I don't look, and.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I'm not impressed by that, and I'm not trying to
avoid it. If you're not interested in seeing a monkey
with herpes, we have
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Relationship, right, we have a serious bra or if I
run towards it, let's do headlines, man,
The Fred Show On Demand News
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