August 12, 2025 • 27 mins
Does your kid curse? Fred wants to know! Plus, we debate relationship drama on an all new Stay Or Go!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the press show.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Let's get you Hotel, a trip for Tunisie, Jennifer Lopez
her brand new Las Vegas residency.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Jennifer Lopez Up All.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Night Live in Las Vegas March thirteenth, twenty twenty six
at the Coliseum at Caesar's Palace. Text dance to three
seven three three seven right now for a chance to
win two tickets to the March thirteenth show, a two
night hotels day March twelve through the fourteenth pat the
Flamingo Hotel Casino Las Vegas and Brown Trevert Fair. A
confirmation text will be sent. Dennered message and data rates
(00:31):
may apply. All thanks to Live Nation. Tickets are on
sale now at ticketmaster dot com for all shows running
December thirtieth through January third, and March sixth through the
twenty eighth. Paulina Gigi, your daughter two and a half,
one and a half, one and a half.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I can't keep all these interest straight.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I got Shelley's kids, I got your kids, I got
my nieces, I got my illegitimate kids. Oh you know,
I got Kalin's kids AKA her sister just turned twenty one.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
That one, I know, we just talked about it.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Kids aka sister, but whatever, I just I'm trying to
keep it all straight.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I got my other friend. I'm talking to her yesterday.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
She was offended that I couldn't remember that her kids
were months months apart from Polly and May. I'm like,
I can't, guys, I don't have a spreadsheet. Okay, I'm
trying to keep it all straight. It's a lot and
then shoe A sizes in this room and all the
other numbers. I got to try and keep organized.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
I could do.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
But Gigi, and I'm proud of her because she's she's
cussing now and she you wrote that. She's saying O
s oh yeah. My favorite part of this is that
it's appropriately it's appropriately timed in place yea, So she
knows that right, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
That's why I'm so proud of her.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Not that she's cussing, but not only she cussing, but
she's using it appropriately, properly, not appropriately, but properly. My
girls so smart. But what is the uh? Because I
want to throw this out there. I'm sure you guys
can come up with with things from your kids eight
five five five nine one three five What is the
thing that you had get your kid to stop saying,
because you know, in this case, it was it's os.
(02:04):
So how does it come up? Like so she hear
she's heard you saying or is Hobby to colprit.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
No, No, it's me many of times because I just
I just say it and I didn't realize she understands,
like as far as picking up what I'm saying. And
she just started saying it one day and I was like,
did she just say that? And Hobby's like clear as day.
And then he's getting all mad at me, and I'm like, well,
it's not my fault, Like I'm just a little baddy
with a bad mouth, Like I can't like help her
walking around here just saying things. And then she has
(02:30):
like her like a new kitchen said that I got
her and she's playing whatever the pots and pans and
it falls and she goes, oh s, girl stop and
she almost like slept going up the stairs because I
walk with her hold her fingers right we're doing one,
two or three. She like couldn't get her little foot
up there, so she like kind of you know, fell
to the side a little bit, like her little body
and she goes, oh s, I'm like, suck.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
But the problem is you want to laugh at that
because it's kind of cute and funny and the fact
that she knew to say that, and she learned that
from you, and she's doing it when she's supposed to
do it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I don't mean you're not supposed to do it.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
But it's one thing if a kid just says like
I can remember as it like being really little insane words.
I didn't know what they meant, but like that's that's
timing right.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
You know, she's hon it. She knows what she's saying,
doesn't miss a beat. She's so smart, you guys. But
like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
How to make her stop because I'll say, Gigi, don't
say that and she laughs. She also doesn't get it
right because like she doesn't know what that means. Also
does she really she could really stop because I say stop, no,
say it's.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Like an inside word.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
I feel like you can tell her, Like if I
don't know how you guys feel as parents, but I
think you could just say, like, we don't say that
outside of the house, because I think you might have
lost the battle now that she knows what I.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Feel like you should probably not let her say in
the house either, because.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I believe words are just words. I think, just don't
say it. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't think that.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
So so she's gonna go to pre K and see
that's right, She's gonna be DRP.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
That's like a new parenting thing though, Like people will say,
you can say it at home.
Speaker 6 (03:55):
They all if you my little nephews on that video
game talking on a little when I'm like, do y'all
hear it?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And the parents just like listen, you know, because I.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Think until like maybe I don't know, like twenty one
or something, I tried not to cuss in front of
my parents, But now now I'm always cussing. I don't care,
and I feel like I can't as a parent like
my parents they had to try to get me not
to cuss. Like it was like, you know, they can't
just they can't just can't be just are just free
for all, no, you know what I mean? So like
I think you got to try to get her to stop.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I don't take it so personal. Just is like a
bad word. Like again, like Kaitlyn said, the words are words.
I just don't want her saying that to anybody. That's
the problem though, is she's too young to know. She's
too young to know that she can say it here
and not say it there. Yeah, it's hard, hey, Terrence, Terrence,
what is it your kids starts saying this?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
You had to stop. It's like, where'd you learn that?
Speaker 7 (04:51):
Both my kids they like to say what the hes.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Like, okay, liter early for that, So they're just now
that are they saying it when they're supposed to say it,
like when they're exasperated or are they just saying it?
Speaker 7 (05:06):
My daughter is a grown woman in a little girl's body,
so when she drops water, anything breaks something, she's like
what what the he?
Speaker 8 (05:16):
Like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
So, Terrence, what do you do?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Like you just know that you want to laugh, right
because it's funny, but like you probably don't want them
doing that at in the wild.
Speaker 7 (05:27):
You can't. I can't, you can't. You can't, Like how
do you correct something that like you created?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
You created this?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I know that? Like but you say, daddy, I know,
but like if you laugh and then you you sort
of it's like you're sort of enabling it, right, And
then the problem is they go over to grandparents' house.
So they go to school and then they get in
trouble for it, and they learned it from you, and
you didn't tell them to stop. So now they're gonna
you know, it's like but you kind of set them up,
not because maybe you don't care, but unfortunately the world cares.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
The world. What the is the least of my work?
That's a good point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, is that where
we're headed.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I'm gonna go to like an elementary school and it's
gonna be like everyone just dropping F bomb something.
Speaker 6 (06:12):
Aroun telling you it's the new wave, and I mean
it's the new waves.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Cursing out teachers, it's the new waves, the new way.
Speaker 6 (06:19):
These parents are just letting them ride. I used to
have to curse in private, Like you know, I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I am not approved. But I don't think that's a
great idea. Everyone's so sensitive. I don't think that's a
great idea. Thank you, Terrence, have a good day.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Let me see here.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
My kids started calling their dead babe because I do.
That's kind of funny. Son of a bee when something
felt he's three. When my son was six or seven,
he would call his sister uh uh and then don't
toy that starts with a D. It had no clue
(06:56):
what it was.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
My sister called a kid a douchebab because of me
when she was little, and she got something for that.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, but I'm twenty eight and I still don't cuss
around my mom. Maybe that's a topic in itself. It's like,
what are you as an adult? What are you still
afraid to do? Oh?
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I used to get my nana, who's like, she was
super Catholic in her like mid eighties. I used to
get her to cuss and she really didn't want to
do it. I'd be like, Nana, say the F word,
and finally she'd do it, but she just kind of
shake when she did it. It was like, doesn't compute, you know, like,
what would Jesus think of this? I don't know. I'm
sure you let it go. Well, my daughter was one, she.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
M a second. Yeah, Yeah, basically, it's the S word.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I let my kids cuss when they were younger, as
long as they were not used towards anyone, like calling
siblings the word. We tell our grandkids don't say that
that's a bad word. We don't scold them because they're
repeating what they hear. We just let them know it's
not a good word to say.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
It's good. Yeah, I guess. So there's one about Barney
here where the Barney one go ummm, I don't know,
and then.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
A bunch of people are validating the outlook doesn't work
so good?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Okayns I'd like to say a cuss word about that,
but I'm not.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Going to more PREAD show next right here, this is
the PREAD Show.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Let's get your hotel a trip for Tunisie Jennifer Lopez
her brand new Las Vegas residency. Jennifer Lopez off All
Night Live in Las Vegas March thirteenth, twenty twenty six,
at the Coliseum at Caesar's Palace. Text dance to three
seven three three seven right now for a chance to
win two tickets to the March thirteenth show, a two
night hotel's Day March twelve through the fourteenth at the
(08:35):
Flamingo Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas and brown Javert Fair.
A confirmation text will be sent dennered message and data
rates may apply. All thanks to Live Nation. Tickets are
on sale now at ticketmaster dot com for all shows
running December thirtieth through January third and March sixth through
the twenty eighth.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Stay or go?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Okay, you guys, something going on? You want us to
talk about you. Well, he'll be on the phone for
part of it, so it's not all behind your back.
You can hit us up on all the different social
search for the Friend Show and Fred Show Radio dot com.
I got to pull out my phone because you know,
my outlook doesn't work. Why would it? Hey, Kelsey, how you.
Speaker 9 (09:12):
Doing good about yourself?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Kelsey doing?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
All right?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Welcome to the program here.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
So you have been in a relationship for a year
and a half and it says here that you think
your boyfriend's wonderful. Okay, great, well thanks for calling. I mean,
what are we talking about here? Your boyfriend's wonderful, You're
and a half a nice run, So what's the issue?
Speaker 10 (09:35):
Okay?
Speaker 9 (09:36):
So I'm going to say it again. He's really great.
He's very loving, very helpful.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Around the house. Here's a big but coming. There's a
big but coming.
Speaker 9 (09:47):
Yeah, he gets angry.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Okay, like I mean, you know his sports teems losing
angry or you know his I don't know, he stuff
just tow angry or you ran out of fish ticks, angry,
you know, like what kind of angry are we talking
about here?
Speaker 9 (10:08):
So I would definitely say he has anger issues. Heels,
he's punched a ball or two, Okay, sometimes he'll throw
things and it's a lot. And it's not like he's
ever hit me or anything, like, I don't think he
would ever do that, but it's just kind of terrifying
(10:32):
to be around him.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Is he mad at you or is he mad about
other things?
Speaker 7 (10:36):
Or it?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Does it matter?
Speaker 9 (10:40):
It doesn't matter. It's just the way that he expresses
whatever he's feeling is not healthy.
Speaker 10 (10:46):
It's scary, okay.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
And do you feel in danger?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I mean you say that you don't think he would
hit you, but like, do you feel do you feel
at risk by this behavior or is it just scary
because of how quickly it ramps up and the way
that he sort of uh, you know, it's it's communicated,
I guess or manifest.
Speaker 9 (11:07):
Yeah, I don't feel like I'm in danger, but it's
it's just stressful having to witness it and be around it.
And that's just how he is when he's upset.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
And has it always been this way the whole year
and a half or is this something that you're only
now seeing. Maybe he was able to sort of keep
it under wraps.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
For a while.
Speaker 9 (11:27):
Well, I mean I would say like the first few months,
like I hadn't really seen that side of him. But
you know a few months in that's when you start to.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
See, right, you're not really dating the real person for
about six months I found if you make it that far, Yeah,
you're only seeing. You're seeing what they want you to see.
So this is more likely what you would be dealing
with if you were with him forever. A lot of
text already coming in. You got to you gotta run,
(11:58):
like you gotta go the other way like these This
is a huge red flag. Now do you have any
idea where this is coming from?
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Like?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Is it where this why it ramps up so quickly?
I mean, is it like is it do you feel
like he's really stressed out? Do you feel like it's
some sort of childhood trauma? Do you think it's anxiety
or I mean, you know, is this something that a
medical professional could address? Is he willing to go to therapy?
I mean have you talked about any of this with him?
Have you said, hey, I watch you go from zero
(12:25):
to one hundred? So quickly and it really concerns me
or does that just cause him to go zero to
one hundred.
Speaker 9 (12:33):
I'm I'm a little scared to talk to him about it.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
And that's a problem flag flag. Yeah, she's scared.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, because I don't think anything's going to change unless
you communicate to him that you are concerned about it.
And if you already feel trepidation about sharing it with
him or sharing your thoughts with him, then that's the problem,
because how is it ever going to be resolved?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Do you guys live together?
Speaker 9 (13:00):
We don't, not yet.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Huh. But you say he's wonderful. I mean, so every
other aspect of the relationship you're happy with, except when
he gets angry, he gets really angry.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
Yeah, huh yeah, And that's what's that's what's difficult here,
is he's actually really wonderful. It's just he's got a
short fuse and his emotional regulation just isn't good when
he's mad.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Yeah. I mean, he's overwhelming on the text, like it's
blowing up eight five five five nine three five you
can call hi text the same number. It's it's overwhelming
that you have to move on. And I know that's
easy for other people to say. Unfortunately, it sounds like
a lot of people have lived through this before, though,
and so they're they're they're coming, you know, they're they're
talking to you, or they're they're giving this advice from
their perspective, and and maybe some of these people have
(13:53):
seen it through a little bit longer and it's been bad.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
This is above my pay grade, though, which is why
I think when you have a bunch of strains tell
you what to do eight five five five nine three five. Fortunately,
this is not one that I've encountered before. I've encountered
people that drink way too much and then their behavior
becomes extremely erratic and dangerous, and that's a problem. But
I've never encountered anybody who gets just just hair pin
(14:20):
trigger angry. But if you can't talk to him about it,
I guess that's the first sign that I mean, how
do you expect it to be any different if you
don't feel comfortable talking to him about it and and
and thus coming up with some kind of a resolution,
him getting some kind of help. I mean, I guess
I don't know what. I don't know what to tell
you if you can't talk to him about it, like
(14:41):
that to me says everything.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I mean.
Speaker 9 (14:45):
I could try to talk Tom, I just I haven't yet.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Hmmm.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I'm gonna take some phone calls on this, Kelsey. I
want you to listen because I do think that a
lot of people out there. You know, something about our
show is when we talk about stuff, and people can
call from their perspectives and a lot of people have
lived this before. So maybe someone will say something that's
helpful to you or that inspires you to know what
to do next.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
But I wish you the best.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
You'll be safe, please, Okay, Yeah, thank you, thank you,
thank you. Have a good day. Yeah, people say, and
I do feel like she's looking for validation to leave.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
That's what I said.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I think she's looking for someone to tell her to leave.
And I agree with that. A bunch of texts like that,
Hey Jessica, good.
Speaker 10 (15:25):
Morning, good morning, how are you?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And I was kind of serious to start the day.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
But nonetheless, I think people out there may have lived
this before and might have some perspective to offer. This
woman is concerned because she's been with a guy for
a year and a half and she says he's a
great guy. Maybe she's say next week, doesn't get mad,
but she says he's a great guy. He said he
has a temper and it hasn't really necessarily come out
at her, but it comes out, you know, punching walls
(15:52):
and you know, really sort of over the top, and
it's scary.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
What do you think.
Speaker 10 (15:57):
Well, I'm kind of on the other end of this.
Married this person. We dated for about four years and
unfortunately I had unknown resolve unresolved childhood traumas, and I
thought this was normal, and we got married. We have
some kids, and I finally threw my therapist have taken
(16:19):
a standards and I'm not doing this anymore. You have
to go to therapy, you have to be on medication.
It has gotten better, but he still has never said
this is a problem. Like he always says, I'm working
on myself, but he's never really come out and said that,
you know, I have this problem. I have anger issues
of fatality issues, Like it's really hard. It's really hard.
(16:42):
So if I could go back in time, sad to say,
I love my children, but I would not have paid
with it.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
It's such an interesting thing, Jessica, because I guess I
never really understood this and until recently, and I've been
I've been alive for a while. But you are saying
that you grew up seeing this or experiencing this, and
so as obvious as it sounds, you know, you just
thought that was how everybody was and at some point
what you had an awakening, like you just said, wait
(17:07):
a minute, this isn't how. This is not how every
relationship is. It was modeled for you, and so now
it's like, no, hold on, I don't want to live
this way. Is that what happened? How did you come
to that spot where you realize, Okay, no, this isn't
how it's supposed to be.
Speaker 10 (17:22):
Well, I started going to therapy and I explained all
my situations to my therapist and she's and me. I've
been with her for probably about four years now, I've
been married for seventeen. But yeah, she's just like, this
is not normal, and she kind of, you know, let
me see that it's not okay that he yelled at
loud and throws things, and you know, I've actually had
(17:44):
to call the police. And I feel like that that
was kind of like an awakening for him, like, Okay,
she's not dealing with this anymore. This is not going
to be okay, like I have to change and my
kids are now experiencing, you know, problems because they witnessed this,
and so we're having to go through therapy with them
and you know, unresolved trauma. And I mean it's big,
(18:07):
Like she like I said, if I could go back
in time, I wouldn't. I would have left him.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Do you see a world, Jessica where he I mean,
he recognizes it and actually makes big steps towards changing it,
or do you think it's a lost cause.
Speaker 10 (18:21):
Well, my therapist says, I still have hope. So if
I still have hope, then there's you know, I shouldn't leave.
Yet He's actively working on it, and he has gotten better.
And I know that people in the use of situations
often say, you know, like, oh, but he's gotten so
much better since then, But he has, and so I'm
trying to focus on that. And I've laid out to
him what I need in this marriage for it to work.
(18:44):
And we're actually we have a couple of therapy tomorrow,
so I'm going to present.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Him with that.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
But that takes and what you're doing, Jessa, takes a
lot of courage. Because everyone on here is saying run
and I know why they're saying that, because it's dangerous.
There could be dangerous. It sounds like you're fighting for
it and you know, giving this kind of opportunity to
change and uh, and that takes a lot of courage.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
So good for you.
Speaker 10 (19:05):
Thanks, thanks, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
You have a good day, Jessica.
Speaker 10 (19:09):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
It's amazing how like you can.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Not to make it about me, but like you, you
can experience something growing up, you can know what it was,
you can and then and then you can be triggered
by that behavior all your life until one day you
just say and it happened for me recently. It's like
wait a minute, no, like no, I'm not you're not
You're not gonna do that. And then you you connect
it with the thing that happened, you know, early on
(19:33):
in your life, and you're like, well, that's why that
triggers me. But now I'm taking a stand like no,
not no, like I'm not going to be treated that
way by anybody. And unfortunately sometimes it takes over correction
to then come to the place where you just avoid
it entirely.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
But that that makes me sad.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
It makes me sad that this woman got herself into
a marriage thinking this is this is how it, this
is just how it is right because it's what she
saw and it and it doesn't have to be that way.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Hey, Becky, good morning, it's good morning doing Hi Becky.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Okay, so you're not a total random you are a therapist.
You know, we did not check your licensure, but we'll
go with it. You hear this, What do you think.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
If a person doesn't have emotional regulation, which is really
control of their emotions right now, the relationship that relationship
culch I will tell her, he's only going to get
to know you. He's going to become familiar with you.
Once you can he becomes familiar with you, he's going
to feel comfortable lashing out and you and you don't
(20:31):
know where that lashing is going to go to indefinitely
if he's behaving like that, asis well, adverse childhood traumas
have come in those experiences. So if he doesn't have
control of it, you have an individual with unmanagemental health issues.
They may manage it. What they fais with alcohol, You
(20:52):
never know in your experience, Becky, with you for your life?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Okay, all right, so she says, go now in your experience, though,
have you ever seen where people can be rehabilitated from this,
Like if the guy is really opened, if he accepts
the fact that this is really happening and he wants
to save his family, and he goes to the right
person and he leans into the process.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I mean, does it have to be a go No,
it doesn't have to be a goal.
Speaker 5 (21:16):
But she's afraid to address him, and he's he hasn't
taken responsibility for his actions, because if he took responsibility
for his actions. You think of is when you look
at an individual you care about and you see how
you've wounded them, or you see how you've brought them
to fear, you try to comfort them in that whatever
(21:41):
means it takes, you will try to you know what,
I'm going to talk to somebody about this. You should
be your own advocate.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah, and that's yeah, that's not happening. Becky. Thank you.
Have a good day, you too. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I mean, I'm not naive to the fact this is
happening a lot, But my god is the text is
blowing up with people who unfortunately can relate to this
very scenario. Hey Monica, Hi, good morning, Hi Monica. Yeah,
So if you're just joining and I know you're not.
But if you're just tuning in, stare go. This woman
you know, loves her boyfriend, says he's a great guy,
but things go zero to sixty with the anger. He
(22:16):
gets very angry, very quickly, and well it's not directed
at her yet. It concerns her, but she's not willing
to talk to him about it, and she's wondering if
she needs to get out. It sounds like if she's
not willing to talk about it, then there's nothing left
to talk about.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Like she's got to go.
Speaker 11 (22:31):
Yeah, she has to absolutely go. And as out listening,
the fact that she says that I don't think he'll
hit me.
Speaker 10 (22:38):
Oh, she's not certain.
Speaker 11 (22:39):
I've been married with my husband for over eighteen years
and I can say he will not hit me. There's
a difference between being angry simply just you know, the
temple of angry. Oh you know, I'm hungry or I've
lost the game. But the fact that she cannot say
he won't hit me, And even listening to her talks,
she sounds very he's scared to get the words out.
Speaker 10 (23:02):
All the red flags are there.
Speaker 5 (23:04):
She has to go.
Speaker 10 (23:05):
She's setting herself up for a.
Speaker 11 (23:07):
Lifetime a failure, and one she brings kids into the mix,
it's got to be even harder to leave. So I
hope that she's listening, but she needs to go.
Speaker 7 (23:16):
Yeah, needs to go.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, thank you, Monica, have a good day.
Speaker 8 (23:20):
Welcome, So thank you.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
I think it sometimes gets you a new a value
proposition too. Some people think that they just don't they
don't deserve to have it all. And I'm not sure
if that's what she's thinking. But you know, for some people,
it's well, they just stay in it because it's like, well,
you know, he's nice most of the time.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
Yeah, you make excuse excuses, and you see potential and
you and.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
When it's good, it's probably really good, you know what
I mean. Like when they make up, it probably feels great,
but then it happens again.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
It's a cycle.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah, maya, Hi, Hey, good morning, Stay or go? What
do you think when you hear this? It's kind of
overwhelming today.
Speaker 8 (23:52):
Yeah, she needs to go, definitely. I sadly was in
a similar situation and he was throwing things and screaming
on stuff until one day he drew something towards me
and smashed my face.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and.
Speaker 8 (24:07):
He said he would never hit me, he would never
do anything like that, but one day it happened. He
was so remorseful. I'm so sorry, but you know what,
I walked away.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, a lot of strength, and I'm sorry it came
to that. But so for you, when you hear this,
it's well, it's not happening yet, but you know we're
on the trajectory.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
It's escalating.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
And so you hear this and you think, well, you know,
we're certainly headed in the wrong direction as far as
he may say that or you may feel that now,
but it's but since they've Matt, it's gotten so much worse.
So it's possible that it turns on her.
Speaker 5 (24:43):
See.
Speaker 8 (24:43):
The scary thing about this is that God forbade it
turns on her, and then when she walks away like
myself now, if I hear a man yelling or loud
noises or anything smashing, I jump. And I was in
therapy for three years because of him. I'm much better now,
but I still get triggered.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah, that's Steph. That's Steph Lingers. Yeah,
thank you, Maya, thanks for sharing. Have a good day.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Thank you you too, all right, I was gonna move on.
I got time for one more though, Albert, good morning.
Speaker 7 (25:12):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
How you guys doing this all the time? And this
guy kind of heavy?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
But I maybe it's something that people need to hear
because it obviously resonates with people. But you are calling
because you were this guy in some ways. I'm not
saying this guy because I don't know what you were
and I don't know what he is, but but you
were the angry guy.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Yes, So.
Speaker 7 (25:32):
Childhood trauma all of that aside. There were issues in
our marriage and I became very angry and hateful and
verbally would lash out and things like that. Unfortunately, my
kids also saw me acting like that, and I knew
I needed to get better. I knew I wanted to
(25:53):
be better, but I was just in my own little
world with that hate and angry for so long that
that that was my normal. And it took for my
ex wife to actually go through with the whole divorce
process for me to you know, hit rock bottom and realize, hey,
I need to change. I need to you know, work
(26:16):
on myself and get rid of this anger that's built up.
So I'm in a much better place now. But and
I'm not trying to victim blame or anything like that,
but I feel now that I can think clearly about
how I behaved and how my anger was and what
I put my ex and the kids through. I'm a
(26:36):
little ashamed that, you know, my ex stayed with me
for as long as she did, because I kind of hope,
you know, she would have left that situation before it
got to that point.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I hear you saying that you're accepting your behavior and
you look back and think, how on earth would someone
stay with me through that, which is something you weren't
able to see at the time.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Yeah, And so here's here's the guy in the situation.
Oh yeah, he's selling this woman to go.
Speaker 6 (27:03):
From his perspective thanct that so much, Cousin, I do too.
Relationships say I'm going to stay for the kids. I'm
going to stay and work it out for the kids.
If you are in an abusive relationship, the best thing
you can do for your kids is to leave.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
And abuse can be emotional and it can be burger.
It doesn't have to be physical.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
I appreciate you calling, man, because you know we really
we had only heard from you from the other side.
So and the fact that you can say that now,
you can admit that you were that person, and I
appreciate that's valuable.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Have a good day, man, Yeah, I have a good one.
Speaker 7 (27:34):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
And then we did get a texted to Taylor Swift
announced an album, so just so you know, uh, did
you guys know Taylor Swift announced very heavy, very heavy topic.
But Taylor Swift announced an album.
Speaker 7 (27:43):
So
This is the press show.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Let's get you Hotel, a trip for Tunisie, Jennifer Lopez
her brand new Las Vegas residency.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Jennifer Lopez Up All.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Night Live in Las Vegas March thirteenth, twenty twenty six
at the Coliseum at Caesar's Palace. Text dance to three
seven three three seven right now for a chance to
win two tickets to the March thirteenth show, a two
night hotels day March twelve through the fourteenth pat the
Flamingo Hotel Casino Las Vegas and Brown Trevert Fair. A
confirmation text will be sent. Dennered message and data rates
(00:31):
may apply. All thanks to Live Nation. Tickets are on
sale now at ticketmaster dot com for all shows running
December thirtieth through January third, and March sixth through the
twenty eighth. Paulina Gigi, your daughter two and a half,
one and a half, one and a half.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I can't keep all these interest straight.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I got Shelley's kids, I got your kids, I got
my nieces, I got my illegitimate kids. Oh you know,
I got Kalin's kids AKA her sister just turned twenty one.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
That one, I know, we just talked about it.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Kids aka sister, but whatever, I just I'm trying to
keep it all straight.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I got my other friend. I'm talking to her yesterday.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
She was offended that I couldn't remember that her kids
were months months apart from Polly and May. I'm like,
I can't, guys, I don't have a spreadsheet. Okay, I'm
trying to keep it all straight. It's a lot and
then shoe A sizes in this room and all the
other numbers. I got to try and keep organized.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
I could do.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
But Gigi, and I'm proud of her because she's she's
cussing now and she you wrote that. She's saying O
s oh yeah. My favorite part of this is that
it's appropriately it's appropriately timed in place yea, So she
knows that right, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
That's why I'm so proud of her.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Not that she's cussing, but not only she cussing, but
she's using it appropriately, properly, not appropriately, but properly. My
girls so smart. But what is the uh? Because I
want to throw this out there. I'm sure you guys
can come up with with things from your kids eight
five five five nine one three five What is the
thing that you had get your kid to stop saying,
because you know, in this case, it was it's os.
(02:04):
So how does it come up? Like so she hear
she's heard you saying or is Hobby to colprit.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
No, No, it's me many of times because I just
I just say it and I didn't realize she understands,
like as far as picking up what I'm saying. And
she just started saying it one day and I was like,
did she just say that? And Hobby's like clear as day.
And then he's getting all mad at me, and I'm like, well,
it's not my fault, Like I'm just a little baddy
with a bad mouth, Like I can't like help her
walking around here just saying things. And then she has
(02:30):
like her like a new kitchen said that I got
her and she's playing whatever the pots and pans and
it falls and she goes, oh s, girl stop and
she almost like slept going up the stairs because I
walk with her hold her fingers right we're doing one,
two or three. She like couldn't get her little foot
up there, so she like kind of you know, fell
to the side a little bit, like her little body
and she goes, oh s, I'm like, suck.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
But the problem is you want to laugh at that
because it's kind of cute and funny and the fact
that she knew to say that, and she learned that
from you, and she's doing it when she's supposed to
do it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
I don't mean you're not supposed to do it.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
But it's one thing if a kid just says like
I can remember as it like being really little insane words.
I didn't know what they meant, but like that's that's
timing right.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
You know, she's hon it. She knows what she's saying,
doesn't miss a beat. She's so smart, you guys. But
like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
How to make her stop because I'll say, Gigi, don't
say that and she laughs. She also doesn't get it
right because like she doesn't know what that means. Also
does she really she could really stop because I say stop, no,
say it's.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Like an inside word.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
I feel like you can tell her, Like if I
don't know how you guys feel as parents, but I
think you could just say, like, we don't say that
outside of the house, because I think you might have
lost the battle now that she knows what I.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Feel like you should probably not let her say in
the house either, because.
Speaker 5 (03:44):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I believe words are just words. I think, just don't
say it. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't think that.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
So so she's gonna go to pre K and see
that's right, She's gonna be DRP.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
That's like a new parenting thing though, Like people will say,
you can say it at home.
Speaker 6 (03:55):
They all if you my little nephews on that video
game talking on a little when I'm like, do y'all
hear it?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And the parents just like listen, you know, because I.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Think until like maybe I don't know, like twenty one
or something, I tried not to cuss in front of
my parents, But now now I'm always cussing. I don't care,
and I feel like I can't as a parent like
my parents they had to try to get me not
to cuss. Like it was like, you know, they can't
just they can't just can't be just are just free
for all, no, you know what I mean? So like
I think you got to try to get her to stop.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I don't take it so personal. Just is like a
bad word. Like again, like Kaitlyn said, the words are words.
I just don't want her saying that to anybody. That's
the problem though, is she's too young to know. She's
too young to know that she can say it here
and not say it there. Yeah, it's hard, hey, Terrence, Terrence,
what is it your kids starts saying this?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
You had to stop. It's like, where'd you learn that?
Speaker 7 (04:51):
Both my kids they like to say what the hes.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Like, okay, liter early for that, So they're just now
that are they saying it when they're supposed to say it,
like when they're exasperated or are they just saying it?
Speaker 7 (05:06):
My daughter is a grown woman in a little girl's body,
so when she drops water, anything breaks something, she's like
what what the he?
Speaker 8 (05:16):
Like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
So, Terrence, what do you do?
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Like you just know that you want to laugh, right
because it's funny, but like you probably don't want them
doing that at in the wild.
Speaker 7 (05:27):
You can't. I can't, you can't. You can't, Like how
do you correct something that like you created?
Speaker 1 (05:34):
You created this?
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I know that? Like but you say, daddy, I know,
but like if you laugh and then you you sort
of it's like you're sort of enabling it, right, And
then the problem is they go over to grandparents' house.
So they go to school and then they get in
trouble for it, and they learned it from you, and
you didn't tell them to stop. So now they're gonna
you know, it's like but you kind of set them up,
not because maybe you don't care, but unfortunately the world cares.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
The world. What the is the least of my work?
That's a good point. Yeah, yeah, yeah, is that where
we're headed.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
I'm gonna go to like an elementary school and it's
gonna be like everyone just dropping F bomb something.
Speaker 6 (06:12):
Aroun telling you it's the new wave, and I mean
it's the new waves.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Cursing out teachers, it's the new waves, the new way.
Speaker 6 (06:19):
These parents are just letting them ride. I used to
have to curse in private, Like you know, I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I am not approved. But I don't think that's a
great idea. Everyone's so sensitive. I don't think that's a
great idea. Thank you, Terrence, have a good day.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Let me see here.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
My kids started calling their dead babe because I do.
That's kind of funny. Son of a bee when something
felt he's three. When my son was six or seven,
he would call his sister uh uh and then don't
toy that starts with a D. It had no clue
(06:56):
what it was.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
My sister called a kid a douchebab because of me
when she was little, and she got something for that.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, but I'm twenty eight and I still don't cuss
around my mom. Maybe that's a topic in itself. It's like,
what are you as an adult? What are you still
afraid to do? Oh?
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
I used to get my nana, who's like, she was
super Catholic in her like mid eighties. I used to
get her to cuss and she really didn't want to
do it. I'd be like, Nana, say the F word,
and finally she'd do it, but she just kind of
shake when she did it. It was like, doesn't compute, you know, like,
what would Jesus think of this? I don't know. I'm
sure you let it go. Well, my daughter was one, she.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
M a second. Yeah, Yeah, basically, it's the S word.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I let my kids cuss when they were younger, as
long as they were not used towards anyone, like calling
siblings the word. We tell our grandkids don't say that
that's a bad word. We don't scold them because they're
repeating what they hear. We just let them know it's
not a good word to say.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
It's good. Yeah, I guess. So there's one about Barney
here where the Barney one go ummm, I don't know,
and then.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
A bunch of people are validating the outlook doesn't work
so good?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Okayns I'd like to say a cuss word about that,
but I'm not.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Going to more PREAD show next right here, this is
the PREAD Show.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Let's get your hotel a trip for Tunisie Jennifer Lopez
her brand new Las Vegas residency. Jennifer Lopez off All
Night Live in Las Vegas March thirteenth, twenty twenty six,
at the Coliseum at Caesar's Palace. Text dance to three
seven three three seven right now for a chance to
win two tickets to the March thirteenth show, a two
night hotel's Day March twelve through the fourteenth at the
(08:35):
Flamingo Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas and brown Javert Fair.
A confirmation text will be sent dennered message and data
rates may apply. All thanks to Live Nation. Tickets are
on sale now at ticketmaster dot com for all shows
running December thirtieth through January third and March sixth through
the twenty eighth.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Stay or go?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Okay, you guys, something going on? You want us to
talk about you. Well, he'll be on the phone for
part of it, so it's not all behind your back.
You can hit us up on all the different social
search for the Friend Show and Fred Show Radio dot com.
I got to pull out my phone because you know,
my outlook doesn't work. Why would it? Hey, Kelsey, how you.
Speaker 9 (09:12):
Doing good about yourself?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Kelsey doing?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
All right?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Welcome to the program here.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
So you have been in a relationship for a year
and a half and it says here that you think
your boyfriend's wonderful. Okay, great, well thanks for calling. I mean,
what are we talking about here? Your boyfriend's wonderful, You're
and a half a nice run, So what's the issue?
Speaker 10 (09:35):
Okay?
Speaker 9 (09:36):
So I'm going to say it again. He's really great.
He's very loving, very helpful.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Around the house. Here's a big but coming. There's a
big but coming.
Speaker 9 (09:47):
Yeah, he gets angry.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Okay, like I mean, you know his sports teems losing
angry or you know his I don't know, he stuff
just tow angry or you ran out of fish ticks, angry,
you know, like what kind of angry are we talking
about here?
Speaker 9 (10:08):
So I would definitely say he has anger issues. Heels,
he's punched a ball or two, Okay, sometimes he'll throw
things and it's a lot. And it's not like he's
ever hit me or anything, like, I don't think he
would ever do that, but it's just kind of terrifying
(10:32):
to be around him.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Is he mad at you or is he mad about
other things?
Speaker 7 (10:36):
Or it?
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Does it matter?
Speaker 9 (10:40):
It doesn't matter. It's just the way that he expresses
whatever he's feeling is not healthy.
Speaker 10 (10:46):
It's scary, okay.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
And do you feel in danger?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I mean you say that you don't think he would
hit you, but like, do you feel do you feel
at risk by this behavior or is it just scary
because of how quickly it ramps up and the way
that he sort of uh, you know, it's it's communicated,
I guess or manifest.
Speaker 9 (11:07):
Yeah, I don't feel like I'm in danger, but it's
it's just stressful having to witness it and be around it.
And that's just how he is when he's upset.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
And has it always been this way the whole year
and a half or is this something that you're only
now seeing. Maybe he was able to sort of keep
it under wraps.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
For a while.
Speaker 9 (11:27):
Well, I mean I would say like the first few months,
like I hadn't really seen that side of him. But
you know a few months in that's when you start to.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
See, right, you're not really dating the real person for
about six months I found if you make it that far, Yeah,
you're only seeing. You're seeing what they want you to see.
So this is more likely what you would be dealing
with if you were with him forever. A lot of
text already coming in. You got to you gotta run,
(11:58):
like you gotta go the other way like these This
is a huge red flag. Now do you have any
idea where this is coming from?
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Like?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Is it where this why it ramps up so quickly?
I mean, is it like is it do you feel
like he's really stressed out? Do you feel like it's
some sort of childhood trauma? Do you think it's anxiety
or I mean, you know, is this something that a
medical professional could address? Is he willing to go to therapy?
I mean have you talked about any of this with him?
Have you said, hey, I watch you go from zero
(12:25):
to one hundred? So quickly and it really concerns me
or does that just cause him to go zero to
one hundred.
Speaker 9 (12:33):
I'm I'm a little scared to talk to him about it.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
And that's a problem flag flag. Yeah, she's scared.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Yeah, because I don't think anything's going to change unless
you communicate to him that you are concerned about it.
And if you already feel trepidation about sharing it with
him or sharing your thoughts with him, then that's the problem,
because how is it ever going to be resolved?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Do you guys live together?
Speaker 9 (13:00):
We don't, not yet.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Huh. But you say he's wonderful. I mean, so every
other aspect of the relationship you're happy with, except when
he gets angry, he gets really angry.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
Yeah, huh yeah, And that's what's that's what's difficult here,
is he's actually really wonderful. It's just he's got a
short fuse and his emotional regulation just isn't good when
he's mad.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Yeah. I mean, he's overwhelming on the text, like it's
blowing up eight five five five nine three five you
can call hi text the same number. It's it's overwhelming
that you have to move on. And I know that's
easy for other people to say. Unfortunately, it sounds like
a lot of people have lived through this before, though,
and so they're they're they're coming, you know, they're they're
talking to you, or they're they're giving this advice from
their perspective, and and maybe some of these people have
(13:53):
seen it through a little bit longer and it's been bad.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
This is above my pay grade, though, which is why
I think when you have a bunch of strains tell
you what to do eight five five five nine three five. Fortunately,
this is not one that I've encountered before. I've encountered
people that drink way too much and then their behavior
becomes extremely erratic and dangerous, and that's a problem. But
I've never encountered anybody who gets just just hair pin
(14:20):
trigger angry. But if you can't talk to him about it,
I guess that's the first sign that I mean, how
do you expect it to be any different if you
don't feel comfortable talking to him about it and and
and thus coming up with some kind of a resolution,
him getting some kind of help. I mean, I guess
I don't know what. I don't know what to tell
you if you can't talk to him about it, like
(14:41):
that to me says everything.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
I mean.
Speaker 9 (14:45):
I could try to talk Tom, I just I haven't yet.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Hmmm.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
I'm gonna take some phone calls on this, Kelsey. I
want you to listen because I do think that a
lot of people out there. You know, something about our
show is when we talk about stuff, and people can
call from their perspectives and a lot of people have
lived this before. So maybe someone will say something that's
helpful to you or that inspires you to know what
to do next.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
But I wish you the best.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
You'll be safe, please, Okay, Yeah, thank you, thank you,
thank you. Have a good day. Yeah, people say, and
I do feel like she's looking for validation to leave.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
That's what I said.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I think she's looking for someone to tell her to leave.
And I agree with that. A bunch of texts like that,
Hey Jessica, good.
Speaker 10 (15:25):
Morning, good morning, how are you?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And I was kind of serious to start the day.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
But nonetheless, I think people out there may have lived
this before and might have some perspective to offer. This
woman is concerned because she's been with a guy for
a year and a half and she says he's a
great guy. Maybe she's say next week, doesn't get mad,
but she says he's a great guy. He said he
has a temper and it hasn't really necessarily come out
at her, but it comes out, you know, punching walls
(15:52):
and you know, really sort of over the top, and
it's scary.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
What do you think.
Speaker 10 (15:57):
Well, I'm kind of on the other end of this.
Married this person. We dated for about four years and
unfortunately I had unknown resolve unresolved childhood traumas, and I
thought this was normal, and we got married. We have
some kids, and I finally threw my therapist have taken
(16:19):
a standards and I'm not doing this anymore. You have
to go to therapy, you have to be on medication.
It has gotten better, but he still has never said
this is a problem. Like he always says, I'm working
on myself, but he's never really come out and said that,
you know, I have this problem. I have anger issues
of fatality issues, Like it's really hard. It's really hard.
(16:42):
So if I could go back in time, sad to say,
I love my children, but I would not have paid
with it.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
It's such an interesting thing, Jessica, because I guess I
never really understood this and until recently, and I've been
I've been alive for a while. But you are saying
that you grew up seeing this or experiencing this, and
so as obvious as it sounds, you know, you just
thought that was how everybody was and at some point
what you had an awakening, like you just said, wait
(17:07):
a minute, this isn't how. This is not how every
relationship is. It was modeled for you, and so now
it's like, no, hold on, I don't want to live
this way. Is that what happened? How did you come
to that spot where you realize, Okay, no, this isn't
how it's supposed to be.
Speaker 10 (17:22):
Well, I started going to therapy and I explained all
my situations to my therapist and she's and me. I've
been with her for probably about four years now, I've
been married for seventeen. But yeah, she's just like, this
is not normal, and she kind of, you know, let
me see that it's not okay that he yelled at
loud and throws things, and you know, I've actually had
(17:44):
to call the police. And I feel like that that
was kind of like an awakening for him, like, Okay,
she's not dealing with this anymore. This is not going
to be okay, like I have to change and my
kids are now experiencing, you know, problems because they witnessed this,
and so we're having to go through therapy with them
and you know, unresolved trauma. And I mean it's big,
(18:07):
Like she like I said, if I could go back
in time, I wouldn't. I would have left him.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Do you see a world, Jessica where he I mean,
he recognizes it and actually makes big steps towards changing it,
or do you think it's a lost cause.
Speaker 10 (18:21):
Well, my therapist says, I still have hope. So if
I still have hope, then there's you know, I shouldn't leave.
Yet He's actively working on it, and he has gotten better.
And I know that people in the use of situations
often say, you know, like, oh, but he's gotten so
much better since then, But he has, and so I'm
trying to focus on that. And I've laid out to
him what I need in this marriage for it to work.
(18:44):
And we're actually we have a couple of therapy tomorrow,
so I'm going to present.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Him with that.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
But that takes and what you're doing, Jessa, takes a
lot of courage. Because everyone on here is saying run
and I know why they're saying that, because it's dangerous.
There could be dangerous. It sounds like you're fighting for
it and you know, giving this kind of opportunity to
change and uh, and that takes a lot of courage.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
So good for you.
Speaker 10 (19:05):
Thanks, thanks, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
You have a good day, Jessica.
Speaker 10 (19:09):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
It's amazing how like you can.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Not to make it about me, but like you, you
can experience something growing up, you can know what it was,
you can and then and then you can be triggered
by that behavior all your life until one day you
just say and it happened for me recently. It's like
wait a minute, no, like no, I'm not you're not
You're not gonna do that. And then you you connect
it with the thing that happened, you know, early on
(19:33):
in your life, and you're like, well, that's why that
triggers me. But now I'm taking a stand like no,
not no, like I'm not going to be treated that
way by anybody. And unfortunately sometimes it takes over correction
to then come to the place where you just avoid
it entirely.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
But that that makes me sad.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
It makes me sad that this woman got herself into
a marriage thinking this is this is how it, this
is just how it is right because it's what she
saw and it and it doesn't have to be that way.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Hey, Becky, good morning, it's good morning doing Hi Becky.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Okay, so you're not a total random you are a therapist.
You know, we did not check your licensure, but we'll
go with it. You hear this, What do you think.
Speaker 5 (20:10):
If a person doesn't have emotional regulation, which is really
control of their emotions right now, the relationship that relationship
culch I will tell her, he's only going to get
to know you. He's going to become familiar with you.
Once you can he becomes familiar with you, he's going
to feel comfortable lashing out and you and you don't
(20:31):
know where that lashing is going to go to indefinitely
if he's behaving like that, asis well, adverse childhood traumas
have come in those experiences. So if he doesn't have
control of it, you have an individual with unmanagemental health issues.
They may manage it. What they fais with alcohol, You
(20:52):
never know in your experience, Becky, with you for your life?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Okay, all right, so she says, go now in your experience, though,
have you ever seen where people can be rehabilitated from this,
Like if the guy is really opened, if he accepts
the fact that this is really happening and he wants
to save his family, and he goes to the right
person and he leans into the process.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
I mean, does it have to be a go No,
it doesn't have to be a goal.
Speaker 5 (21:16):
But she's afraid to address him, and he's he hasn't
taken responsibility for his actions, because if he took responsibility
for his actions. You think of is when you look
at an individual you care about and you see how
you've wounded them, or you see how you've brought them
to fear, you try to comfort them in that whatever
(21:41):
means it takes, you will try to you know what,
I'm going to talk to somebody about this. You should
be your own advocate.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah, and that's yeah, that's not happening. Becky. Thank you.
Have a good day, you too. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I mean, I'm not naive to the fact this is
happening a lot, But my god is the text is
blowing up with people who unfortunately can relate to this
very scenario. Hey Monica, Hi, good morning, Hi Monica. Yeah,
So if you're just joining and I know you're not.
But if you're just tuning in, stare go. This woman
you know, loves her boyfriend, says he's a great guy,
but things go zero to sixty with the anger. He
(22:16):
gets very angry, very quickly, and well it's not directed
at her yet. It concerns her, but she's not willing
to talk to him about it, and she's wondering if
she needs to get out. It sounds like if she's
not willing to talk about it, then there's nothing left
to talk about.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Like she's got to go.
Speaker 11 (22:31):
Yeah, she has to absolutely go. And as out listening,
the fact that she says that I don't think he'll
hit me.
Speaker 10 (22:38):
Oh, she's not certain.
Speaker 11 (22:39):
I've been married with my husband for over eighteen years
and I can say he will not hit me. There's
a difference between being angry simply just you know, the
temple of angry. Oh you know, I'm hungry or I've
lost the game. But the fact that she cannot say
he won't hit me, And even listening to her talks,
she sounds very he's scared to get the words out.
Speaker 10 (23:02):
All the red flags are there.
Speaker 5 (23:04):
She has to go.
Speaker 10 (23:05):
She's setting herself up for a.
Speaker 11 (23:07):
Lifetime a failure, and one she brings kids into the mix,
it's got to be even harder to leave. So I
hope that she's listening, but she needs to go.
Speaker 7 (23:16):
Yeah, needs to go.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, thank you, Monica, have a good day.
Speaker 8 (23:20):
Welcome, So thank you.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
I think it sometimes gets you a new a value
proposition too. Some people think that they just don't they
don't deserve to have it all. And I'm not sure
if that's what she's thinking. But you know, for some people,
it's well, they just stay in it because it's like, well,
you know, he's nice most of the time.
Speaker 6 (23:33):
Yeah, you make excuse excuses, and you see potential and
you and.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
When it's good, it's probably really good, you know what
I mean. Like when they make up, it probably feels great,
but then it happens again.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
It's a cycle.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yeah, maya, Hi, Hey, good morning, Stay or go? What
do you think when you hear this? It's kind of
overwhelming today.
Speaker 8 (23:52):
Yeah, she needs to go, definitely. I sadly was in
a similar situation and he was throwing things and screaming
on stuff until one day he drew something towards me
and smashed my face.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and.
Speaker 8 (24:07):
He said he would never hit me, he would never
do anything like that, but one day it happened. He
was so remorseful. I'm so sorry, but you know what,
I walked away.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, a lot of strength, and I'm sorry it came
to that. But so for you, when you hear this,
it's well, it's not happening yet, but you know we're
on the trajectory.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
It's escalating.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
And so you hear this and you think, well, you know,
we're certainly headed in the wrong direction as far as
he may say that or you may feel that now,
but it's but since they've Matt, it's gotten so much worse.
So it's possible that it turns on her.
Speaker 5 (24:43):
See.
Speaker 8 (24:43):
The scary thing about this is that God forbade it
turns on her, and then when she walks away like
myself now, if I hear a man yelling or loud
noises or anything smashing, I jump. And I was in
therapy for three years because of him. I'm much better now,
but I still get triggered.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah, that's Steph. That's Steph Lingers. Yeah,
thank you, Maya, thanks for sharing. Have a good day.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Thank you you too, all right, I was gonna move on.
I got time for one more though, Albert, good morning.
Speaker 7 (25:12):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
How you guys doing this all the time? And this
guy kind of heavy?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
But I maybe it's something that people need to hear
because it obviously resonates with people. But you are calling
because you were this guy in some ways. I'm not
saying this guy because I don't know what you were
and I don't know what he is, but but you
were the angry guy.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Yes, So.
Speaker 7 (25:32):
Childhood trauma all of that aside. There were issues in
our marriage and I became very angry and hateful and
verbally would lash out and things like that. Unfortunately, my
kids also saw me acting like that, and I knew
I needed to get better. I knew I wanted to
(25:53):
be better, but I was just in my own little
world with that hate and angry for so long that
that that was my normal. And it took for my
ex wife to actually go through with the whole divorce
process for me to you know, hit rock bottom and realize, hey,
I need to change. I need to you know, work
(26:16):
on myself and get rid of this anger that's built up.
So I'm in a much better place now. But and
I'm not trying to victim blame or anything like that,
but I feel now that I can think clearly about
how I behaved and how my anger was and what
I put my ex and the kids through. I'm a
(26:36):
little ashamed that, you know, my ex stayed with me
for as long as she did, because I kind of hope,
you know, she would have left that situation before it
got to that point.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I hear you saying that you're accepting your behavior and
you look back and think, how on earth would someone
stay with me through that, which is something you weren't
able to see at the time.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Yeah, And so here's here's the guy in the situation.
Oh yeah, he's selling this woman to go.
Speaker 6 (27:03):
From his perspective thanct that so much, Cousin, I do too.
Relationships say I'm going to stay for the kids. I'm
going to stay and work it out for the kids.
If you are in an abusive relationship, the best thing
you can do for your kids is to leave.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:15):
And abuse can be emotional and it can be burger.
It doesn't have to be physical.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
I appreciate you calling, man, because you know we really
we had only heard from you from the other side.
So and the fact that you can say that now,
you can admit that you were that person, and I
appreciate that's valuable.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
Have a good day, man, Yeah, I have a good one.
Speaker 7 (27:34):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
And then we did get a texted to Taylor Swift
announced an album, so just so you know, uh, did
you guys know Taylor Swift announced very heavy, very heavy topic.
But Taylor Swift announced an album.
Speaker 7 (27:43):
So
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