September 9, 2025 • 31 mins
Fred blows Keke's mind and she is left speechless. Plus, listen to an all new Stay Or Go that will leave the Swifties upset!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kiki, I I hate to start the show with something
that's going to blow your mind. Don't like I just
to start to show with something this monumental. I don't
know if it's maybe I should wait till next hour
or hour three or four.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I don't know. We do a lot of hours.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
But on the Tangent yesterday, it was revealed that that
Lucks your dog received his first ever pop cup. Because,
as you know, we have this shared document and everybody
on the show, right, you know, things in the documentary
that they might like to talk about on the show. Yes,
(00:36):
And lately, you know, I've had a thing or two
to say about a thing or two, and you know,
I look at this every day.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I just said, well, what are we gonna talk about
on the show?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
And I've noticed it's becoming a little bit of just
a brain purge for pretty much everybody. And uh, with
Kiki's topic suggestion was I went to Starbucks and they
gave lux a pop cup.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
And you just do.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
This, Well, no, so, okay, I don't go to Starbucks often.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I'm a dunkin girl, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
And so I was just Dillian Dallion on Sunday, which
is my new thing to do on Sundays.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I like to Dillion Engage.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Yeah, I like to ride around in my car and
pretend like I have no budget. I can go to
TJ Max, I can go to Marshall's. And so I
ended up in the Starbucks line and I ordered me
a nice little drink and then the guy goes, oh, hey,
he saw lux in the car, and he goes, what
do you like a pup cup?
Speaker 4 (01:28):
And I was like, you know what, As a matter
of fact, he.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Would, and I gave him his first pup cup and
he that man was ready to o d like. I
had to black slow down, so I got feet.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, they all act like like like it's gonna be
taken away from them. Every dog acts like the pup cup.
I've never seen a dog look at it and be like,
you know, here's a lick and then just sort of
sit back and reflect. They all just go snout in Yes,
you know cream, that's what I think. Yeah, I think
it's just cups. Okay cup.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
The girls. The girls have never been No.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
They don't get any like table food or human food
or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Oh so you're one of those, okay, I guess.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Well, look, I don't know if anyone else wants to
contribute this morning eight five, five, five, nine, one one
three five two to blowing Kiki's mind. I would love
it if you would, though, but but I have one
for you, Okay. Then we went on The Tangent yesterday
are off air Uncentured podcast. We talked about this on
the iHeartRadio app. You could search for the Fred Show
and the Tangent. You can hear it. It was a
little bit unhinged, to be honest with you, it is good.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I liked it. I went back and listen to our
own Tangent. I liked it.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I was cracking up last night.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
I was pretty good at this.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
It was funny. I really was shot, like y'all blew
my mind. On that episode, we.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Talked about AI to pop cups. Today, I but.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
A one to five text that after listening to the
Tangent yesterday this Kicky no that the bank will also
give you a treat at the drive through for the dog.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
The bank if you.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Go to the bank and you get a dog a
lot of times, if you're in the drive food a bank,
a lot of times, they'll have treats for the dog.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Okay. Putting it on our next to do list.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yes, something else. I'm not sure if you knew this.
I mean, this might be overload for you. I'm not
sure if you knew. But if you go to like
an ice cream store and they have a lot of flavors,
you can ask them for a little bite of a
flavor that you might be interested in but you don't
know what it tastes like, and they'll give you a
little bite of it, a little sample.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yogurt's the same way.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Stop playing with me. Yeah, are you serious? It's true,
I did not know you go there.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
You can be like, you know, I'd like to try
that one, and they'll give you a little, tiny, little bit.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Of it sample. You can do at the deli too,
the deli.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
See, I didn't even know people still worked at the bank.
So you know that is mind blowing in the cell
because y'all also know that I discovered yesterday that what's
about to happen, and that's ai.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Oh yeah, she discovered.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
By the way, if you go to the deli and
they don't hand you as slice, if you order like meat,
you know, and they slice it right there like like
sandwich meat. If they don't hand you the first slice
to eat then I'm not about that deli, like I'm
never going back.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah, if you're in the yeah, don't get that out.
Doesn't everybody?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, Jewel does, every single person. If you're from the Midwest,
you go to the Jewels, the first slice stale handed
to you Jewel.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Yeah, they're understand right now to slice it a certain
way because like I always say, like, oh, you know,
I want to like super thine if to your legs
so you can eat it. They don't want to hand
me that.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Where I get my meat? Try your hand a Polish deli.
I'll take you guys there.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Okay, not only will they feed you slices, but they're
gonna give samples of everything, like the little dumplings anything
like where are you stuffed?
Speaker 7 (04:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Too responsible for me?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
A lot of car washes offer treats for your dog
at the beginning of the wash.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
The do what Yeah, car washes have it too, well,
wash your dog go they give you a treat.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
You just put them on the front of your car.
You know, when I go to the car wash, I
don't want to talk to them.
Speaker 7 (04:53):
No, me neither.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
I try my best to.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Get car wash because they come over there and they
want to up charge you and seal you a special
water for the underneath your car.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I don't need any of that.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
You never get that you're supposed to get to underwater
special water. I'm here for under car special water. The
five dollar I want the five dollar car. I don't
want to talk to you. I don't want to roll
my window down. Move the price one up too. I
told Kale the other day it was like three dollars.
Now it's like like six or five or something.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I don't even know. Why are they over there telling
me how to do the touchscreen.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
I don't need that, and then they asked for a tip.
I'm doing it, and I'm like I'm good. I'm good,
and they're telling you, oh, click here, click there. I
know how to use a touch screen.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
That's why you have to get the monthly, because then
you just pull up, it reads your license plate and
you just keep rolling.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Okay, we'll get to that. Yeah please. Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
The big shop at Jewel always has cookies for the customers. Yeah, yeah,
little tray the ice cream truck will have it.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
A treat for your dog.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
They will do a pup cup at dunk And somebody said,
really if you asked for it. I guess, okay, I
wonder if Boss Bay downstairs will do it for you.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
She don't want to do what what she's paid to do,
so I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I just I just wouldn't arrive when the store open,
just because I might come about forty five minutes later.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
If we has banker hours.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Ye yeah, girl Boss she shows up when she wants to.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
My Walgreens pharmacy has dog treats as well. Costco will
give you a bone of the gas line. I found
out that this is random. I found out that fishes
is a real word. Fishes can be even talking about
multiple schools of different types of fish. Thank you, thank
you for that. Okay, now why I also saw this
(06:27):
on the sheet just while we're here? What car wash
scheme have you involved yourself in? Let me read it
to you exactly, okay, just so we can be clear again,
this is our shared document. Maybe we should make this
public I don't know, so that everybody can see it. Kiki,
I signed up for the unlimited car wash scam? Are
you a part of this club? Please explain? I have
(06:50):
to and then we'll move on.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Please is a scam?
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Because so I went to go get the five dollar
car wash, which turned into an eight dollar car wash now.
And when I pull up, the guy is like, oh,
you're in the wrong lane. This is for the lane
of folks who have the monthly. Yeah, premire customer.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
So then I'm like, well, me and lux A Premier customers.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
So he's like, oh, well you don't have the monthly
and I was like, well, what's the monthly.
Speaker 4 (07:12):
He's like, hmm, thirty bucks a month.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Oh, I said thirty you get a pup cup.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
With that, I get a free air freshmer or something.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
And he's like, well yeah this time. So I'm like, well,
sign me up. I'm not a brokie, and so he
signed me up for this this unlimited plan. But when
you think about it, if the car wash is eight bucks,
I may get a car wash once a month.
Speaker 8 (07:32):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
I'm not in my like, I don't go to the
car wash like that.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
But it's a scam because now it's gonna it's gonna
charge my car every single month.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Go more, just take the car there.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
More need this, But you pressure me and make me
feel like I need this.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
I don't need this.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
That's why they're standing there. They're standing there, so I
go twice a week, so it like pays for it
exactly a couples.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I used to have that one all the time. I
don't think it's great for your car to go, but
I still do it.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I used to do it. At least they put that
they were.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
He was so quick to put that little sticker in
my window and come with his little like get you
the key chain.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Or car, and you told him you wanted that I broke.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
It made me feel like a loser if I didn't
have the permit, Like I was strong and I had
other cars behind me. So he was like, oh you
don't have it, well, we're gonna have to move you
to the next line.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
You gotta get him a loser live.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah, you broke line BOKI live eight. Oh man, I
signed up for the scam and now I'm a part
of it.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
I think I'll pay for itself.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I don't think it's a scam. Okay. It's amazing how
you you could.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
You could control whether you're getting scanned or up by
just taking the car there.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
I'm gonna take all yall cars there to leave.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
It's stay or go.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Scott is here, I Scott, good morning, Good morning, Scott, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Thanks for hitting us up.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
There's a lot of places you can get ahold of us,
fred Shaw Radio and the social search for the Fred
Show fred Shaw.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Radio dot com.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
And so you're having an issue with your girlfriend of
about six years.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So what's going on? I can't wait to hear about this.
Speaker 8 (09:04):
Yeah, Well, like you said, we've been together six years,
and like I don't know, lately, I'm feeling a lot
of pressure to like propose, but I'm just not ready.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So that sounds familiar, I guess.
Speaker 8 (09:13):
I guess I just want to I kind of want
your opinion on that, Like do you think it's too
long or do you think it's like I shouldn't worry
about it.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Well, okay, you should worry, all right. I need a
little more information. I need I need a lot more information.
I mean, right, so that's been six years, right, what
do you think? Okay, Well, I mean we were talking
about this earlier. But you know, whether it's Kiki and
almost eight years or whatever, it was seven and a half.
(09:42):
And then you you know, sort of joking about since
the day that I met you, where is my proposal?
Or you know, it's Kaylin who's been with someone for
a little while and isn't in any hurry whatsoever. I mean,
there's a lot of context here. So six years is
she pressuring you?
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Like?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Is she is?
Speaker 1 (09:57):
She's fairly so beginning to add or has she been
asking Hey, where's this going?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I mean it's.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Because maybe people are together forever and never get married
and they're okay with that, and then maybe people are
together for three months and they're like, hey, where's the ring?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I mean I've kind of encountered both. What what's happening here?
Speaker 8 (10:16):
Yeah, this is gonna sound kind of silly. So like
normally like she's never really brought it up or really
even seem to like worry too much either, but like
she's a giant swifties. So with the last couple of weeks,
like with all the big news and stuff, like you
get really caught the marriage bug.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I'd say, get out of here, get out of it.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Has she actually cited that, like she said, well, you know,
you know Travis and Taylor are engaged, So I mean
that hasn't actually come up?
Speaker 8 (10:48):
Oh well, I was sitting next to her when she
saw the news on her phone, and she like started
like crying and being like so emotional, like I don't know,
like and then yeah, so like the last couple of weeks,
it's kind of just been like talking about our future
and like you know what things look like on the
line and.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Things you've got to kid, I was emotionable too, I
get it, but.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
It's something to be It's one thing to be emotionable,
like Scott's grow up friend. To be emotionable, that's one thing.
But then but to put the pressure on because because
she's as swifty, because she got engaged. I mean, it's like,
look at her life, Well what about you slack her?
Speaker 7 (11:26):
Right?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I mean, is that that's not fair? But here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
So she's indicated to you that she wants to be
married to you. How long has she been talking like that?
Of the six years you've been together?
Speaker 8 (11:38):
Just recently, honestly, Like it's something we've kind of talked about,
Like I feel like we both always wanted to get married,
but like this, like like I said, this marriage bug,
like that's brand new, and like I'm honestly it makes
me like I'm ready to fight Travis Kelcey.
Speaker 9 (11:54):
Like I may not be.
Speaker 8 (11:55):
As big as him or as strong as him, but
like I'm ready to go.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
I'm telling you, I wonder how many people are in
this situation where you know, she she sort of inspired
within a bunch of folks, men, women, whomever, Like, no, no,
I want that too, proposed to me in the backyard.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
What are you doing? So okay? What's your position though?
I mean, are you.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
What's the hold do you want to be married? Why
are you not proposing? I mean, and again I don't
say it in the judgmental way. I mean, you have
every right to live your life however you want, but what, Yeah,
what is the hold up?
Speaker 8 (12:27):
I mean, there's a few reasons, but plat out, I'm
just not ready, Like it's something I want to do
in the future, but like I don't know, Like I
don't see why it's a problem for like everyone to
take their own path, Like like yeah, six years, but
like if we're not ready after six years, then why rush?
Like I don't know, Like I'm still trying to figure
out my career a little bit, and you know, like
there's no way where we could afford like the wedding
(12:48):
i'd want to give her, or the ring I'd want
to give her. Yet so like I guess that's kind
of the stuff I'm working on.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
But so she wants to be married, how long do
you think that those things are going to take?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Likes this time frame, the type thing.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Thing you're thinking before we get the career and the
money things sorted out, I mean the year, I mean,
how long are we thinking? Because I mean, you know,
at some point I do understand that I don't no
one should be rushed and no one should do anything
that they're uncomfortable doing or then I don't feel compelled
to do. But and here's my question, everybody else eight five, five, five, nine,
one one oh three five, at what juncture is it
(13:25):
fair for a person who wants to be married to
say this is enough time? And you yeah, I can
hear people now going, well, there isn't one, and I
would normally agree with that. But if you're somebody who
wants to get married and maybe you want to have kids,
there is and you want to be married when you
have kids, if those are things that are important to you,
there is kind of a time frame. It's a little
bit of a finite thing. You know, you can't necessarily
(13:46):
do this when you're fifty, you know you can't necessarily
you can but you know, I mean, if you're are
you gonna be together for twenty years before you feel comfortable?
And that at that point have things passed you by somewhat?
I mean, how long is it gonna take?
Speaker 8 (13:58):
Bro, I don't know, And I totally get what you're saying,
Like we're both still relatively young, but like, I don't know,
I'm just not ready. It might be a year, it
might be another two years. I don't know, but I
definitely get what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Because the worst thing is if you know, I want
to be married to you and I'm getting emotionable about it,
and then and then we keep you know, we keep
this going for another two, three, four years, and then
we're ten years in and then you're like, eh, actually
I don't want to do this anymore. And now it's like, well, okay,
I invested a lot of time in this aspiration that
(14:33):
is not coming to fruition. And you might say, well,
then good, I'm glad it didn't because it wasn't supposed to.
But that's still a lot of time to spend on something.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
So I mean, or she can meet her husband tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, what would you do if she met someone else
and said, Hey, this guy's more serious than you are.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
How would that make you feel? That'd be heartbreaking.
Speaker 8 (14:53):
Yeah, I'd be very emotionable and it'd be heartbreaking. And
I don't think we've ever had commitment issues, like we're
both like, you know, we both know how committed we
are to each other, and you know how serious we
are about each other. It's just it's just like the
marriage part itself, like I'm not ready for. It's not
the relationship that makes me not ready. It's like I said,
(15:13):
it's more like just like the timing and the wedding
and the I don't know all that kind of stuff,
like I'm just not ready for.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Well, if you're not ready, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
But I think at some point if you don't get ready,
and this isn't the threat, but I think at some
point if you don't get ready, then you might expect
that she'll find someone who is. And again, don't do
anything that you don't feel comfortable doing, because that's I
think where bad things start to happen. But if you're
not compelled to do it within five, six, seven years,
I mean, then I don't know. But then again, you
got Jason over here fourteen years. Yeah, and I don't know,
(15:44):
maybe it happens now, maybe maybe you feel like it's
beginning to happen, or it's more a realm of possible,
in the realm of possibility than it was.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, I think it's a lost cause. But I also
never mind I was being optimistic. I don't know.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
I never like actually expressed like, hey, this is really
important to me. I want to do it because I
don't feel that way. It would be nice if it did,
but it's not a deal breaker for me. It sounds
like for her it might be yea and our kids
a factor here? Do you guys want both one kids?
Speaker 7 (16:15):
Again?
Speaker 8 (16:16):
Like, if the situations right, we're kind of always the
situation right, It's not like I don't know, it's a
lot of in this world.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Six years. I mean, the situation seems we're six years right.
I'm sorry, I.
Speaker 9 (16:28):
Don't want to have a kid if I can't feed it,
you know, like you like, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
He's you know, I don't know if the money for
a wedding, you just got to play it exactly together.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Money around, that's.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
What he takes some phone calls Scott and I, look,
I appreciate you and thanks you being a good support
about this, and have the radio and we'll see what
people have to say.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Have a good day, all right.
Speaker 8 (16:54):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I'm really torn on this.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I'm really inturn on this because I don't want people
to do anything that I ready to do. And I
am a proponent of situations where people can be together
forever and not necessarily get married legally or in a
church or whatever, and live very happy lives. You know,
people think, well, if I get married, he won't cheat
or she won't. No, they will try it. Let me
assure you, yes, let me assure you that doesn't seem
(17:17):
to stop anybody off.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
But it's just like, how about just be happy? Right?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
But if here's where here's where I'm on the other
side of this. If your goals differ, you know, and
your level of comfort and priorities differ, how long do
you live in that sort of middle ground? I mean, Kiki, realistically,
and it's easy for you to say now because you're engaged,
but realistically, how much longer were you going to give
big tim because you want to be married?
Speaker 4 (17:40):
Right until I met my husband, Like I was that
serious about that?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
You were not? You were not really looking for all
people stop it right now. You we just gets to live.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
This is not a skit or a lie.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
If you are in a relationship with a good woman
and you all have built something together, and she has
been clear about her desires to be married if you can,
if you are not making attempts to prepare yourself for that,
you are in the way of her husband. And so
I was very clear to Big Tim about I love you,
where we are great friends, we have a great relationship.
(18:11):
I want to be married, okay, And if you are
going to prepare yourself to do that, then I am
actively out here letting the world know that I'm single.
I mean a man that is serious about his goals
and can get it together, then we may be in trouble.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
He got serious that.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I watched many, many, many, many men try we all have,
and you didn't give any of them the time of day.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
Right because I was in love with Tim.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
And so you weren't really looking to replace him.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I made that clear to him, because that is what's
that's gonna happen. I'm gonna sit there for twenty five
years and still be talking about I'm single.
Speaker 6 (18:48):
I feel like men also know, and I'm no man,
but I know I'm not a man.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
I have the man right now, A couple a couple of.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Men, yes, pull up a share. I like to hear
more about this. I would talk to you really quick.
Speaker 6 (19:07):
I think men know that they want to marry a woman,
like right away.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
I've heard this.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I know you because you have.
Speaker 6 (19:14):
I don't think met the woman you're like, I want
to be with her like I hadn't.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
And I was very wrong. So well, exactually be honest
with you.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
The ones where I think I really want to be
with you, I should probably just go the other way.
I should do the opposite of what my brain tells
me to do.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
I hear you, But I do feel like men know
instantly if they want to block this in. I mean,
I call me crazy, but I do feel like, if
you're gonna make it happen, you're making it happen.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
The six year thing, like you're just wasting all of
our time.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Now I see that I'm really in the middle of this.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Because if it takes ten years and you guys, everyone
gets there and then it's this wonderful thing and it
lasts forever, then that's all good. If it takes ten
years and it dissolves and it's not you don't. It's
just not that cut and dry and this whole thing
where the moment I saw her, I knew, not the moment,
it's not quite not for everybody.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Three months, okay, I think in three months, Like if
I call Shane right now, he will tell me, I'm Shane.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
He wanted to marry her before.
Speaker 6 (20:07):
He loves Haylor and he's had all the relationships.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
And I, Garrius, you not feel.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Using Shane is an example, does not have an.
Speaker 6 (20:18):
He loves her, and I'm trying to point that out.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I guaran see you.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
He did not feel that way about other girlfriends, and
the way he feels about you, I can promise you that,
and it shows and his his actions and who he
is as a man, like he would marry you yesterday,
you know, and because he knew Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Serena, yes hi Hi.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
So this dude not's a mask over the fact that
Taylor Swift is putting pressure on his six year relationship.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
But that's what's happening.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
And now all of a sudden, he knew his girlfriend
wanted to get married after six years they've been together.
But now it's like, wait a minute, they did it.
So now where are we at with this? And it
seems like it's intensifying. Now, what does one do in
this situation?
Speaker 10 (21:01):
Well, I know my husband's listening because he listens to
every morning. And I gave him an ultimatum.
Speaker 7 (21:07):
I said, we've been together eight years, we.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
Have three kids, my last name, Okay, I want to
get married.
Speaker 10 (21:15):
And he's like, well, marriage is just a piece of paper.
Speaker 7 (21:18):
I said, I don't care.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
I want to get married.
Speaker 10 (21:20):
You have a year to propose, and we get married
in our ten year anniversary.
Speaker 7 (21:24):
That's exactly what we did.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
Period.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Yeah, and you've got kids in their life together and
it's a little more substantial than just But.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I never like it, Serena different. I don't like an ultimatum.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
I don't like it because I feel like, then, in
the back of your mind, it's like, would you ever
have done it if I hadn't just said you're doing it?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
And I hope it works out. It looks sounds like.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
It is and maybe he needed a little shove and again,
you guys have a life together and a lot to
speak for it.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
But I hate an ultimatum in these situations. I hate it.
Speaker 10 (21:53):
Yeah, I get it, but at the same time, I'm like,
I have already invested eight years and I'm not you know,
it's either now.
Speaker 7 (22:01):
Or never, because I will find someone else.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
And the case thing is important because and not that
you should definitely get married because you have kids you shouldn't,
but this guy's going to be a part of your
life forever anyway. So I understand why that is an
interesting dynamic. But I hate it when people are like,
you got one year, because even if that, how do
you even if that person intended to do it. I
feel like forever it would be like if I had
(22:24):
not said to you you have one year, then would
you have done it? And then that's in the back
of your mind And that's not fair to anybody. But hey,
I'm glad it worked out for you. And what's your
husband's name?
Speaker 7 (22:34):
Irving?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Shout out to you, man, blink.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Twice if you're okay, Irving, have a good day. Yeah. Oh,
she's brilliant and she's hot. She listens to this show,
so she must be one of the smartest people that
was ever mind. Yeah right, oh my god, they both
how could she? She should have been begging him. He
listens to If you listen to this show. Then you're brilliant.
High Samantha, except the people who hate on us, but
(22:56):
you have a fine.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Hi, Samantha, I get more. Hey, Sergo, what do you say?
Good morning?
Speaker 8 (23:03):
Well?
Speaker 10 (23:04):
I think it's interesting that this guy is calling in
to get a decision, because I really think it's a girl.
I think that she should go. And he may be
like a lovely man, but I do think he's wasting
her time. I think after six years, like other people
have said, you know, if you want to be with
somebody for marriage, and if he wants to stay with
somebody's long term without getting married, that's totally okay. And
(23:27):
also I have to add that I too, am a
huge swifty and I think that maybe she kind of
had an itch that was scratched when she saw Taylor
Swift get engaged because she's been as swifty and she
sees like, oh wow, love is real. Maybe this can
kind of no be my story too. I don't really
think that's unrealistic. It probably just showed her that, you know,
(23:50):
I can have a love story like this too, even
if it's just getting engaged and being married.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
And having kids.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Just go and buy her all seven CDs of Life
of a showgirl. Make sure they'll show up on a
day and that'll buy them another year. You know, she'll
be distracted listening to all seven CDs, even though they're
all the same. Samantha, thank you, have a good day.
Speaker 10 (24:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
And the kids thing is that it's a big factor.
Someone said she's wasting her good child bearing years on him.
I mean, again, not a reason to force a marriage,
but that's that's a real thing. You know, if you
want to be married to someone and have a family,
things get more complicated this time goes. I'm not impossible,
but there's a lot of resentment there. I would think
(24:31):
if you invest all that time and then it doesn't happen,
I'm gonna say threeish years. It's kind of that, Sorry, Jason.
It's kind of that gray area. We're kind of transitioning into, like, Okay,
we've made a life together now after three years. Like
I've seen, we've probably traveled to this is this doesn't
ply to you at all. We've probably traveled together. Like
(24:52):
you know, I know if you're stinky, I know you know.
I have a good idea what I'm working with here.
We've had ups and downs, Like I think we're in
that kind of area. It's like, you know, that's what
we kind of got to say, this is a forever
thing or a long term thing or not not six
months or And again this is me just generalizing because
(25:13):
Paulina over here thinks every guy just looks at the
woman and say.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Oh, you want tell me I'm wrong.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Though they are men know when.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
They're somebody you not, No, don't let a man waste
your time.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
I'm gonna just leave it that.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I don't men say that.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
I don't think it's that simple. I really don't think
it's that simple. I think a lot of people have
said that to other people and they're divorced.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
Okay, possibly, but I'm not saying you look at a
woman you're like, I'm gonna marry you tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
But I think if you just you just know, you're like.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I know people who have done that, Paulina, and they're
still together and they've been together for twenty years. I
know people who have done that and they're not together anymore.
I don't think that it's I simply don't think it's
that simple. There are men listening right now, going Nope,
I was compelled, and there are men listening right now,
who are going I was compelled and now I'm paying glimony.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Well, marriage to the gamble. And some people just are
ready when they're ready. Some men just marry whatever is
in front of them when they're ready.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
That that part too, can't have that. Hey, Jane, that's
a bad idea. Oh, Aser, Mike, Now I want to
talk to Mike that we'll get to James.
Speaker 8 (26:07):
Mike.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Sorry, Mike, how you do it? Male perspective?
Speaker 10 (26:09):
Go?
Speaker 9 (26:10):
Yeah, what's up?
Speaker 7 (26:11):
Guys?
Speaker 8 (26:11):
So?
Speaker 9 (26:12):
I mean, like my dad told me when I married
my wife back in twenty fifteen. We were engaged in
twenty fourteen. I was scared and he's like, yeah, he says,
you're the provider, you're the protector, you're the shield. Now
you've got to protect her and provide for her for
the rest of your life. I was like, I'm scared
to death and he's like good, and he says, can
you imagine her with someone else? I said no, if
(26:32):
she walked away from me, that would end my world.
And I said, he says, then she's the one for you.
Speaker 7 (26:37):
So we married.
Speaker 9 (26:37):
And listen, man, when you're married, listen the wedding and
all that stuff that doesn't make the marriage.
Speaker 4 (26:41):
Man.
Speaker 9 (26:41):
That's all for the parent and everybody else. That's all
for her, you know what I mean. That doesn't make
the marriage.
Speaker 7 (26:46):
Man.
Speaker 9 (26:47):
You know what, if you love her, if you ask
yourself this question for man to man, I'm talking to
the guy. If you can see her walking away from you,
she's not the one. It's as simple as that. So
you either do it. You know, she might not even
want a big way or a big ring. You know,
big ring. My wife didn't, but I still gave it
to her, you know what I mean. So you gotta
either crap or get off the pot, man, one or
(27:09):
the other.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Yeah. By the way, I don't I think you're right.
I don't think it will ever not be scary.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
So if he's waiting to be scared, then no.
Speaker 9 (27:20):
Right, Okay, you married, you marry her, you have kids.
That's where the real scaries come in. Say, I know
Paulina knows exactly what I'm talking about, because when you're
a parent, you're constantly afraid.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
I'm worried.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
That's very true.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah, that's good, Thank you, Thank you, Mike Kevin, good day.
Appreciate that good perspective.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah, Hello, was always cold. We do like you a lot,
all right, Jane, Hi Jane, Why am I wrong? Jane,
go right ahead.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Hi Fred.
Speaker 7 (27:48):
I normally think your advice is really really great.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Thank you. Yes, it actually fine, it's fantastic.
Speaker 7 (27:55):
But yeah, but I'm a mental health counselor, and it's
the kind of hear you're mixing up two different sets
of needs. There is a difference between a demand and
a saying of what your needs and wants and goals
are in the world and that this is what's appropriate
(28:15):
for me. And so my Kiki had said, this is
my life goal, this is why I'm dating this way.
So I'm just putting in my cards on the table.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
So there you go.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
But Jane, I don't I don't think we're saying the
same thing.
Speaker 7 (28:33):
But your trauma no no, no, no trauma history with Jane.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
What an ultimatum is inherently a demand? Yes, it is
an ultimatum by definition, is.
Speaker 7 (28:46):
Saying between there's a difference between saying this is my
life goal and this is not, you know, ultimatum, it's
it's it's not really an ultimatum. It's saying that.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
But we're saying the same thing.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
If I come to you, Jane and say, here are
the things that are important to me.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
That's I agree with you.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
That is different than me coming and saying if you
don't marry me by the end of the year, I'm gone.
Those are two different things because one's a threat and
the other is an expression.
Speaker 7 (29:19):
But the thing is, it's we're not talking about We're
talking about a major life goal and a major life situation,
and you're giving somebody time to make a decision.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
But you're not in an ultimatum. In an ultimatum, you're
saying it's this or that if I express my needs
and you don't.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
It's a mixing of I think it's a mixing of
interpretations of what is being said and how it's being said.
But it is extremely important in a dating situation to
say this is my need, this is my why, I
agree with you, why I am dating I think I
agree with you. It's really going on here.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Yeah. No, this guy's not being given an ultimatum. No, no, no.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
An ultimatum is separate from this. He's this isn't a
conversation they're having. I'm saying I don't like an ultimatum.
I don't like an ultimatum in any situation. And you
hear about it sometimes, like the woman who called earlier
and said, if you don't marry me by the end
of the year, I'm gone.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I don't like that. That's pressure. That's how it's a man, though.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
I think that's a choice. You're giving the choice.
Speaker 7 (30:15):
Are you in it?
Speaker 4 (30:16):
Are you out?
Speaker 7 (30:17):
Like exactly?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
That's not why I just say, hey, look, I would
like to be married to you. I need to be
married to you soon, you know, or I need to
I don't know. It's just if you don't or else.
Speaker 7 (30:27):
Nobody it's articulated. Nobody is in an articulate It is you, Fred,
You're like one of the most articulate people in the world.
Jos say it average. The average people will not say
it that way. Yeah, well, I say the other way.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
And I respect your perspective as a mental health cancer.
It's just a threat. For me, the threat is dangerous
and I don't like it, and I don't think it's
the right way.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Because I feel you're.
Speaker 7 (30:52):
Threat I am.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
I wants to be written in any context though nobody
wants to be threat.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
Why you got to tell him it's not a threat,
it's a promise. Act together.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Jane, I appreciate you, Thank you for calling. I have
a good day. No I hear what she's saying. May
I just don't want I don't want to be confused.
Absolutely express what's important to you
Kiki, I I hate to start the show with something
that's going to blow your mind. Don't like I just
to start to show with something this monumental. I don't
know if it's maybe I should wait till next hour
or hour three or four.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I don't know. We do a lot of hours.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
But on the Tangent yesterday, it was revealed that that
Lucks your dog received his first ever pop cup. Because,
as you know, we have this shared document and everybody
on the show, right, you know, things in the documentary
that they might like to talk about on the show. Yes,
(00:36):
And lately, you know, I've had a thing or two
to say about a thing or two, and you know,
I look at this every day.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I just said, well, what are we gonna talk about
on the show?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
And I've noticed it's becoming a little bit of just
a brain purge for pretty much everybody. And uh, with
Kiki's topic suggestion was I went to Starbucks and they
gave lux a pop cup.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
And you just do.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
This, Well, no, so, okay, I don't go to Starbucks often.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I'm a dunkin girl, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
And so I was just Dillian Dallion on Sunday, which
is my new thing to do on Sundays.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I like to Dillion Engage.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
Yeah, I like to ride around in my car and
pretend like I have no budget. I can go to
TJ Max, I can go to Marshall's. And so I
ended up in the Starbucks line and I ordered me
a nice little drink and then the guy goes, oh, hey,
he saw lux in the car, and he goes, what
do you like a pup cup?
Speaker 4 (01:28):
And I was like, you know what, As a matter
of fact, he.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Would, and I gave him his first pup cup and
he that man was ready to o d like. I
had to black slow down, so I got feet.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, they all act like like like it's gonna be
taken away from them. Every dog acts like the pup cup.
I've never seen a dog look at it and be like,
you know, here's a lick and then just sort of
sit back and reflect. They all just go snout in Yes,
you know cream, that's what I think. Yeah, I think
it's just cups. Okay cup.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
The girls. The girls have never been No.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
They don't get any like table food or human food
or anything like that.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Oh so you're one of those, okay, I guess.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Well, look, I don't know if anyone else wants to
contribute this morning eight five, five, five, nine, one one
three five two to blowing Kiki's mind. I would love
it if you would, though, but but I have one
for you, Okay. Then we went on The Tangent yesterday
are off air Uncentured podcast. We talked about this on
the iHeartRadio app. You could search for the Fred Show
and the Tangent. You can hear it. It was a
little bit unhinged, to be honest with you, it is good.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I liked it. I went back and listen to our
own Tangent. I liked it.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I was cracking up last night.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
I was pretty good at this.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
It was funny. I really was shot, like y'all blew
my mind. On that episode, we.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Talked about AI to pop cups. Today, I but.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
A one to five text that after listening to the
Tangent yesterday this Kicky no that the bank will also
give you a treat at the drive through for the dog.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
The bank if you.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Go to the bank and you get a dog a
lot of times, if you're in the drive food a bank,
a lot of times, they'll have treats for the dog.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Okay. Putting it on our next to do list.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Yes, something else. I'm not sure if you knew this.
I mean, this might be overload for you. I'm not
sure if you knew. But if you go to like
an ice cream store and they have a lot of flavors,
you can ask them for a little bite of a
flavor that you might be interested in but you don't
know what it tastes like, and they'll give you a
little bite of it, a little sample.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yogurt's the same way.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Stop playing with me. Yeah, are you serious? It's true,
I did not know you go there.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
You can be like, you know, I'd like to try
that one, and they'll give you a little, tiny, little bit.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Of it sample. You can do at the deli too,
the deli.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
See, I didn't even know people still worked at the bank.
So you know that is mind blowing in the cell
because y'all also know that I discovered yesterday that what's
about to happen, and that's ai.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Oh yeah, she discovered.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
By the way, if you go to the deli and
they don't hand you as slice, if you order like meat,
you know, and they slice it right there like like
sandwich meat. If they don't hand you the first slice
to eat then I'm not about that deli, like I'm
never going back.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah, if you're in the yeah, don't get that out.
Doesn't everybody?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, Jewel does, every single person. If you're from the Midwest,
you go to the Jewels, the first slice stale handed
to you Jewel.
Speaker 5 (04:12):
Yeah, they're understand right now to slice it a certain
way because like I always say, like, oh, you know,
I want to like super thine if to your legs
so you can eat it. They don't want to hand
me that.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Where I get my meat? Try your hand a Polish deli.
I'll take you guys there.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Okay, not only will they feed you slices, but they're
gonna give samples of everything, like the little dumplings anything
like where are you stuffed?
Speaker 7 (04:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Too responsible for me?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
A lot of car washes offer treats for your dog
at the beginning of the wash.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
The do what Yeah, car washes have it too, well,
wash your dog go they give you a treat.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
You just put them on the front of your car.
You know, when I go to the car wash, I
don't want to talk to them.
Speaker 7 (04:53):
No, me neither.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
I try my best to.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Get car wash because they come over there and they
want to up charge you and seal you a special
water for the underneath your car.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I don't need any of that.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
You never get that you're supposed to get to underwater
special water. I'm here for under car special water. The
five dollar I want the five dollar car. I don't
want to talk to you. I don't want to roll
my window down. Move the price one up too. I
told Kale the other day it was like three dollars.
Now it's like like six or five or something.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I don't even know. Why are they over there telling
me how to do the touchscreen.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
I don't need that, and then they asked for a tip.
I'm doing it, and I'm like I'm good. I'm good,
and they're telling you, oh, click here, click there. I
know how to use a touch screen.
Speaker 5 (05:29):
That's why you have to get the monthly, because then
you just pull up, it reads your license plate and
you just keep rolling.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Okay, we'll get to that. Yeah please. Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
The big shop at Jewel always has cookies for the customers. Yeah, yeah,
little tray the ice cream truck will have it.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
A treat for your dog.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
They will do a pup cup at dunk And somebody said,
really if you asked for it. I guess, okay, I
wonder if Boss Bay downstairs will do it for you.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
She don't want to do what what she's paid to do,
so I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
I just I just wouldn't arrive when the store open,
just because I might come about forty five minutes later.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
If we has banker hours.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Ye yeah, girl Boss she shows up when she wants to.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
My Walgreens pharmacy has dog treats as well. Costco will
give you a bone of the gas line. I found
out that this is random. I found out that fishes
is a real word. Fishes can be even talking about
multiple schools of different types of fish. Thank you, thank
you for that. Okay, now why I also saw this
(06:27):
on the sheet just while we're here? What car wash
scheme have you involved yourself in? Let me read it
to you exactly, okay, just so we can be clear again,
this is our shared document. Maybe we should make this
public I don't know, so that everybody can see it. Kiki,
I signed up for the unlimited car wash scam? Are
you a part of this club? Please explain? I have
(06:50):
to and then we'll move on.
Speaker 4 (06:51):
Please is a scam?
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Because so I went to go get the five dollar
car wash, which turned into an eight dollar car wash now.
And when I pull up, the guy is like, oh,
you're in the wrong lane. This is for the lane
of folks who have the monthly. Yeah, premire customer.
Speaker 4 (07:05):
So then I'm like, well, me and lux A Premier customers.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
So he's like, oh, well you don't have the monthly
and I was like, well, what's the monthly.
Speaker 4 (07:12):
He's like, hmm, thirty bucks a month.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Oh, I said thirty you get a pup cup.
Speaker 4 (07:16):
With that, I get a free air freshmer or something.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
And he's like, well yeah this time. So I'm like, well,
sign me up. I'm not a brokie, and so he
signed me up for this this unlimited plan. But when
you think about it, if the car wash is eight bucks,
I may get a car wash once a month.
Speaker 8 (07:32):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (07:33):
I'm not in my like, I don't go to the
car wash like that.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
But it's a scam because now it's gonna it's gonna
charge my car every single month.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Go more, just take the car there.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
More need this, But you pressure me and make me
feel like I need this.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
I don't need this.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
That's why they're standing there. They're standing there, so I
go twice a week, so it like pays for it
exactly a couples.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
I used to have that one all the time. I
don't think it's great for your car to go, but
I still do it.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I used to do it. At least they put that
they were.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
He was so quick to put that little sticker in
my window and come with his little like get you
the key chain.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Or car, and you told him you wanted that I broke.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
It made me feel like a loser if I didn't
have the permit, Like I was strong and I had
other cars behind me. So he was like, oh you
don't have it, well, we're gonna have to move you
to the next line.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
You gotta get him a loser live.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah, you broke line BOKI live eight. Oh man, I
signed up for the scam and now I'm a part
of it.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
I think I'll pay for itself.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
I don't think it's a scam. Okay. It's amazing how
you you could.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
You could control whether you're getting scanned or up by
just taking the car there.
Speaker 4 (08:36):
I'm gonna take all yall cars there to leave.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
It's stay or go.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Scott is here, I Scott, good morning, Good morning, Scott, Welcome.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Thanks for hitting us up.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
There's a lot of places you can get ahold of us,
fred Shaw Radio and the social search for the Fred
Show fred Shaw.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Radio dot com.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
And so you're having an issue with your girlfriend of
about six years.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So what's going on? I can't wait to hear about this.
Speaker 8 (09:04):
Yeah, Well, like you said, we've been together six years,
and like I don't know, lately, I'm feeling a lot
of pressure to like propose, but I'm just not ready.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So that sounds familiar, I guess.
Speaker 8 (09:13):
I guess I just want to I kind of want
your opinion on that, Like do you think it's too
long or do you think it's like I shouldn't worry
about it.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Well, okay, you should worry, all right. I need a
little more information. I need I need a lot more information.
I mean, right, so that's been six years, right, what
do you think? Okay, Well, I mean we were talking
about this earlier. But you know, whether it's Kiki and
almost eight years or whatever, it was seven and a half.
(09:42):
And then you you know, sort of joking about since
the day that I met you, where is my proposal?
Or you know, it's Kaylin who's been with someone for
a little while and isn't in any hurry whatsoever. I mean,
there's a lot of context here. So six years is
she pressuring you?
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Like?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Is she is?
Speaker 1 (09:57):
She's fairly so beginning to add or has she been
asking Hey, where's this going?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I mean it's.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Because maybe people are together forever and never get married
and they're okay with that, and then maybe people are
together for three months and they're like, hey, where's the ring?
Speaker 2 (10:12):
I mean I've kind of encountered both. What what's happening here?
Speaker 8 (10:16):
Yeah, this is gonna sound kind of silly. So like
normally like she's never really brought it up or really
even seem to like worry too much either, but like
she's a giant swifties. So with the last couple of weeks,
like with all the big news and stuff, like you
get really caught the marriage bug.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I'd say, get out of here, get out of it.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Has she actually cited that, like she said, well, you know,
you know Travis and Taylor are engaged, So I mean
that hasn't actually come up?
Speaker 8 (10:48):
Oh well, I was sitting next to her when she
saw the news on her phone, and she like started
like crying and being like so emotional, like I don't know,
like and then yeah, so like the last couple of weeks,
it's kind of just been like talking about our future
and like you know what things look like on the
line and.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Things you've got to kid, I was emotionable too, I
get it, but.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
It's something to be It's one thing to be emotionable,
like Scott's grow up friend. To be emotionable, that's one thing.
But then but to put the pressure on because because
she's as swifty, because she got engaged. I mean, it's like,
look at her life, Well what about you slack her?
Speaker 7 (11:26):
Right?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
I mean, is that that's not fair? But here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
So she's indicated to you that she wants to be
married to you. How long has she been talking like that?
Of the six years you've been together?
Speaker 8 (11:38):
Just recently, honestly, Like it's something we've kind of talked about,
Like I feel like we both always wanted to get married,
but like this, like like I said, this marriage bug,
like that's brand new, and like I'm honestly it makes
me like I'm ready to fight Travis Kelcey.
Speaker 9 (11:54):
Like I may not be.
Speaker 8 (11:55):
As big as him or as strong as him, but
like I'm ready to go.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
I'm telling you, I wonder how many people are in
this situation where you know, she she sort of inspired
within a bunch of folks, men, women, whomever, Like, no, no,
I want that too, proposed to me in the backyard.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
What are you doing? So okay? What's your position though?
I mean, are you.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
What's the hold do you want to be married? Why
are you not proposing? I mean, and again I don't
say it in the judgmental way. I mean, you have
every right to live your life however you want, but what, Yeah,
what is the hold up?
Speaker 8 (12:27):
I mean, there's a few reasons, but plat out, I'm
just not ready, Like it's something I want to do
in the future, but like I don't know, Like I
don't see why it's a problem for like everyone to
take their own path, Like like yeah, six years, but
like if we're not ready after six years, then why rush?
Like I don't know, Like I'm still trying to figure
out my career a little bit, and you know, like
there's no way where we could afford like the wedding
(12:48):
i'd want to give her, or the ring I'd want
to give her. Yet so like I guess that's kind
of the stuff I'm working on.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
But so she wants to be married, how long do
you think that those things are going to take?
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Likes this time frame, the type thing.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Thing you're thinking before we get the career and the
money things sorted out, I mean the year, I mean,
how long are we thinking? Because I mean, you know,
at some point I do understand that I don't no
one should be rushed and no one should do anything
that they're uncomfortable doing or then I don't feel compelled
to do. But and here's my question, everybody else eight five, five, five, nine,
one one oh three five, at what juncture is it
(13:25):
fair for a person who wants to be married to
say this is enough time? And you yeah, I can
hear people now going, well, there isn't one, and I
would normally agree with that. But if you're somebody who
wants to get married and maybe you want to have kids,
there is and you want to be married when you
have kids, if those are things that are important to you,
there is kind of a time frame. It's a little
bit of a finite thing. You know, you can't necessarily
(13:46):
do this when you're fifty, you know you can't necessarily
you can but you know, I mean, if you're are
you gonna be together for twenty years before you feel comfortable?
And that at that point have things passed you by somewhat?
I mean, how long is it gonna take?
Speaker 8 (13:58):
Bro, I don't know, And I totally get what you're saying,
Like we're both still relatively young, but like, I don't know,
I'm just not ready. It might be a year, it
might be another two years. I don't know, but I
definitely get what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Because the worst thing is if you know, I want
to be married to you and I'm getting emotionable about it,
and then and then we keep you know, we keep
this going for another two, three, four years, and then
we're ten years in and then you're like, eh, actually
I don't want to do this anymore. And now it's like, well, okay,
I invested a lot of time in this aspiration that
(14:33):
is not coming to fruition. And you might say, well,
then good, I'm glad it didn't because it wasn't supposed to.
But that's still a lot of time to spend on something.
Speaker 4 (14:40):
So I mean, or she can meet her husband tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Yeah, what would you do if she met someone else
and said, Hey, this guy's more serious than you are.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
How would that make you feel? That'd be heartbreaking.
Speaker 8 (14:53):
Yeah, I'd be very emotionable and it'd be heartbreaking. And
I don't think we've ever had commitment issues, like we're
both like, you know, we both know how committed we
are to each other, and you know how serious we
are about each other. It's just it's just like the
marriage part itself, like I'm not ready for. It's not
the relationship that makes me not ready. It's like I said,
(15:13):
it's more like just like the timing and the wedding
and the I don't know all that kind of stuff,
like I'm just not ready for.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Well, if you're not ready, don't do it.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
But I think at some point if you don't get ready,
and this isn't the threat, but I think at some
point if you don't get ready, then you might expect
that she'll find someone who is. And again, don't do
anything that you don't feel comfortable doing, because that's I
think where bad things start to happen. But if you're
not compelled to do it within five, six, seven years,
I mean, then I don't know. But then again, you
got Jason over here fourteen years. Yeah, and I don't know,
(15:44):
maybe it happens now, maybe maybe you feel like it's
beginning to happen, or it's more a realm of possible,
in the realm of possibility than it was.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, I think it's a lost cause. But I also
never mind I was being optimistic. I don't know.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
I never like actually expressed like, hey, this is really
important to me. I want to do it because I
don't feel that way. It would be nice if it did,
but it's not a deal breaker for me. It sounds
like for her it might be yea and our kids
a factor here? Do you guys want both one kids?
Speaker 7 (16:15):
Again?
Speaker 8 (16:16):
Like, if the situations right, we're kind of always the
situation right, It's not like I don't know, it's a
lot of in this world.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Six years. I mean, the situation seems we're six years right.
I'm sorry, I.
Speaker 9 (16:28):
Don't want to have a kid if I can't feed it,
you know, like you like, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
He's you know, I don't know if the money for
a wedding, you just got to play it exactly together.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Money around, that's.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
What he takes some phone calls Scott and I, look,
I appreciate you and thanks you being a good support
about this, and have the radio and we'll see what
people have to say.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Have a good day, all right.
Speaker 8 (16:54):
Thanks.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I'm really torn on this.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I'm really inturn on this because I don't want people
to do anything that I ready to do. And I
am a proponent of situations where people can be together
forever and not necessarily get married legally or in a
church or whatever, and live very happy lives. You know,
people think, well, if I get married, he won't cheat
or she won't. No, they will try it. Let me
assure you, yes, let me assure you that doesn't seem
(17:17):
to stop anybody off.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
But it's just like, how about just be happy? Right?
Speaker 1 (17:21):
But if here's where here's where I'm on the other
side of this. If your goals differ, you know, and
your level of comfort and priorities differ, how long do
you live in that sort of middle ground? I mean, Kiki, realistically,
and it's easy for you to say now because you're engaged,
but realistically, how much longer were you going to give
big tim because you want to be married?
Speaker 4 (17:40):
Right until I met my husband, Like I was that
serious about that?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
You were not? You were not really looking for all
people stop it right now. You we just gets to live.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
This is not a skit or a lie.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
If you are in a relationship with a good woman
and you all have built something together, and she has
been clear about her desires to be married if you can,
if you are not making attempts to prepare yourself for that,
you are in the way of her husband. And so
I was very clear to Big Tim about I love you,
where we are great friends, we have a great relationship.
(18:11):
I want to be married, okay, And if you are
going to prepare yourself to do that, then I am
actively out here letting the world know that I'm single.
I mean a man that is serious about his goals
and can get it together, then we may be in trouble.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
He got serious that.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I watched many, many, many, many men try we all have,
and you didn't give any of them the time of day.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
Right because I was in love with Tim.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
And so you weren't really looking to replace him.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
I made that clear to him, because that is what's
that's gonna happen. I'm gonna sit there for twenty five
years and still be talking about I'm single.
Speaker 6 (18:48):
I feel like men also know, and I'm no man,
but I know I'm not a man.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
I have the man right now, A couple a couple of.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Men, yes, pull up a share. I like to hear
more about this. I would talk to you really quick.
Speaker 6 (19:07):
I think men know that they want to marry a woman,
like right away.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
I've heard this.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I know you because you have.
Speaker 6 (19:14):
I don't think met the woman you're like, I want
to be with her like I hadn't.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
And I was very wrong. So well, exactually be honest
with you.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
The ones where I think I really want to be
with you, I should probably just go the other way.
I should do the opposite of what my brain tells
me to do.
Speaker 6 (19:29):
I hear you, But I do feel like men know
instantly if they want to block this in. I mean,
I call me crazy, but I do feel like, if
you're gonna make it happen, you're making it happen.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
The six year thing, like you're just wasting all of
our time.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Now I see that I'm really in the middle of this.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Because if it takes ten years and you guys, everyone
gets there and then it's this wonderful thing and it
lasts forever, then that's all good. If it takes ten
years and it dissolves and it's not you don't. It's
just not that cut and dry and this whole thing
where the moment I saw her, I knew, not the moment,
it's not quite not for everybody.
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Three months, okay, I think in three months, Like if
I call Shane right now, he will tell me, I'm Shane.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
He wanted to marry her before.
Speaker 6 (20:07):
He loves Haylor and he's had all the relationships.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
And I, Garrius, you not feel.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Using Shane is an example, does not have an.
Speaker 6 (20:18):
He loves her, and I'm trying to point that out.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I guaran see you.
Speaker 6 (20:22):
He did not feel that way about other girlfriends, and
the way he feels about you, I can promise you that,
and it shows and his his actions and who he
is as a man, like he would marry you yesterday,
you know, and because he knew Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Serena, yes hi Hi.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
So this dude not's a mask over the fact that
Taylor Swift is putting pressure on his six year relationship.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
But that's what's happening.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
And now all of a sudden, he knew his girlfriend
wanted to get married after six years they've been together.
But now it's like, wait a minute, they did it.
So now where are we at with this? And it
seems like it's intensifying. Now, what does one do in
this situation?
Speaker 10 (21:01):
Well, I know my husband's listening because he listens to
every morning. And I gave him an ultimatum.
Speaker 7 (21:07):
I said, we've been together eight years, we.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
Have three kids, my last name, Okay, I want to
get married.
Speaker 10 (21:15):
And he's like, well, marriage is just a piece of paper.
Speaker 7 (21:18):
I said, I don't care.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
I want to get married.
Speaker 10 (21:20):
You have a year to propose, and we get married
in our ten year anniversary.
Speaker 7 (21:24):
That's exactly what we did.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
Period.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Yeah, and you've got kids in their life together and
it's a little more substantial than just But.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
I never like it, Serena different. I don't like an ultimatum.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
I don't like it because I feel like, then, in
the back of your mind, it's like, would you ever
have done it if I hadn't just said you're doing it?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
And I hope it works out. It looks sounds like.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
It is and maybe he needed a little shove and again,
you guys have a life together and a lot to
speak for it.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
But I hate an ultimatum in these situations. I hate it.
Speaker 10 (21:53):
Yeah, I get it, but at the same time, I'm like,
I have already invested eight years and I'm not you know,
it's either now.
Speaker 7 (22:01):
Or never, because I will find someone else.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
And the case thing is important because and not that
you should definitely get married because you have kids you shouldn't,
but this guy's going to be a part of your
life forever anyway. So I understand why that is an
interesting dynamic. But I hate it when people are like,
you got one year, because even if that, how do
you even if that person intended to do it. I
feel like forever it would be like if I had
(22:24):
not said to you you have one year, then would
you have done it? And then that's in the back
of your mind And that's not fair to anybody. But hey,
I'm glad it worked out for you. And what's your
husband's name?
Speaker 7 (22:34):
Irving?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Shout out to you, man, blink.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Twice if you're okay, Irving, have a good day. Yeah. Oh,
she's brilliant and she's hot. She listens to this show,
so she must be one of the smartest people that
was ever mind. Yeah right, oh my god, they both
how could she? She should have been begging him. He
listens to If you listen to this show. Then you're brilliant.
High Samantha, except the people who hate on us, but
(22:56):
you have a fine.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Hi, Samantha, I get more. Hey, Sergo, what do you say?
Good morning?
Speaker 8 (23:03):
Well?
Speaker 10 (23:04):
I think it's interesting that this guy is calling in
to get a decision, because I really think it's a girl.
I think that she should go. And he may be
like a lovely man, but I do think he's wasting
her time. I think after six years, like other people
have said, you know, if you want to be with
somebody for marriage, and if he wants to stay with
somebody's long term without getting married, that's totally okay. And
(23:27):
also I have to add that I too, am a
huge swifty and I think that maybe she kind of
had an itch that was scratched when she saw Taylor
Swift get engaged because she's been as swifty and she
sees like, oh wow, love is real. Maybe this can
kind of no be my story too. I don't really
think that's unrealistic. It probably just showed her that, you know,
(23:50):
I can have a love story like this too, even
if it's just getting engaged and being married.
Speaker 4 (23:55):
And having kids.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Just go and buy her all seven CDs of Life
of a showgirl. Make sure they'll show up on a
day and that'll buy them another year. You know, she'll
be distracted listening to all seven CDs, even though they're
all the same. Samantha, thank you, have a good day.
Speaker 10 (24:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
And the kids thing is that it's a big factor.
Someone said she's wasting her good child bearing years on him.
I mean, again, not a reason to force a marriage,
but that's that's a real thing. You know, if you
want to be married to someone and have a family,
things get more complicated this time goes. I'm not impossible,
but there's a lot of resentment there. I would think
(24:31):
if you invest all that time and then it doesn't happen,
I'm gonna say threeish years. It's kind of that, Sorry, Jason.
It's kind of that gray area. We're kind of transitioning into, like, Okay,
we've made a life together now after three years. Like
I've seen, we've probably traveled to this is this doesn't
ply to you at all. We've probably traveled together. Like
(24:52):
you know, I know if you're stinky, I know you know.
I have a good idea what I'm working with here.
We've had ups and downs, Like I think we're in
that kind of area. It's like, you know, that's what
we kind of got to say, this is a forever
thing or a long term thing or not not six
months or And again this is me just generalizing because
(25:13):
Paulina over here thinks every guy just looks at the
woman and say.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Oh, you want tell me I'm wrong.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Though they are men know when.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
They're somebody you not, No, don't let a man waste
your time.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
I'm gonna just leave it that.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
I don't men say that.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
I don't think it's that simple. I really don't think
it's that simple. I think a lot of people have
said that to other people and they're divorced.
Speaker 6 (25:31):
Okay, possibly, but I'm not saying you look at a
woman you're like, I'm gonna marry you tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
But I think if you just you just know, you're like.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I know people who have done that, Paulina, and they're
still together and they've been together for twenty years. I
know people who have done that and they're not together anymore.
I don't think that it's I simply don't think it's
that simple. There are men listening right now, going Nope,
I was compelled, and there are men listening right now,
who are going I was compelled and now I'm paying glimony.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Well, marriage to the gamble. And some people just are
ready when they're ready. Some men just marry whatever is
in front of them when they're ready.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
That that part too, can't have that. Hey, Jane, that's
a bad idea. Oh, Aser, Mike, Now I want to
talk to Mike that we'll get to James.
Speaker 8 (26:07):
Mike.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Sorry, Mike, how you do it? Male perspective?
Speaker 10 (26:09):
Go?
Speaker 9 (26:10):
Yeah, what's up?
Speaker 7 (26:11):
Guys?
Speaker 8 (26:11):
So?
Speaker 9 (26:12):
I mean, like my dad told me when I married
my wife back in twenty fifteen. We were engaged in
twenty fourteen. I was scared and he's like, yeah, he says,
you're the provider, you're the protector, you're the shield. Now
you've got to protect her and provide for her for
the rest of your life. I was like, I'm scared
to death and he's like good, and he says, can
you imagine her with someone else? I said no, if
(26:32):
she walked away from me, that would end my world.
And I said, he says, then she's the one for you.
Speaker 7 (26:37):
So we married.
Speaker 9 (26:37):
And listen, man, when you're married, listen the wedding and
all that stuff that doesn't make the marriage.
Speaker 4 (26:41):
Man.
Speaker 9 (26:41):
That's all for the parent and everybody else. That's all
for her, you know what I mean. That doesn't make
the marriage.
Speaker 7 (26:46):
Man.
Speaker 9 (26:47):
You know what, if you love her, if you ask
yourself this question for man to man, I'm talking to
the guy. If you can see her walking away from you,
she's not the one. It's as simple as that. So
you either do it. You know, she might not even
want a big way or a big ring. You know,
big ring. My wife didn't, but I still gave it
to her, you know what I mean. So you gotta
either crap or get off the pot, man, one or
(27:09):
the other.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Yeah. By the way, I don't I think you're right.
I don't think it will ever not be scary.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
So if he's waiting to be scared, then no.
Speaker 9 (27:20):
Right, Okay, you married, you marry her, you have kids.
That's where the real scaries come in. Say, I know
Paulina knows exactly what I'm talking about, because when you're
a parent, you're constantly afraid.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
I'm worried.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
That's very true.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah, that's good, Thank you, Thank you, Mike Kevin, good day.
Appreciate that good perspective.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Yeah, Hello, was always cold. We do like you a lot,
all right, Jane, Hi Jane, Why am I wrong? Jane,
go right ahead.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Hi Fred.
Speaker 7 (27:48):
I normally think your advice is really really great.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Thank you. Yes, it actually fine, it's fantastic.
Speaker 7 (27:55):
But yeah, but I'm a mental health counselor, and it's
the kind of hear you're mixing up two different sets
of needs. There is a difference between a demand and
a saying of what your needs and wants and goals
are in the world and that this is what's appropriate
(28:15):
for me. And so my Kiki had said, this is
my life goal, this is why I'm dating this way.
So I'm just putting in my cards on the table.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
So there you go.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
But Jane, I don't I don't think we're saying the
same thing.
Speaker 7 (28:33):
But your trauma no no, no, no trauma history with Jane.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
What an ultimatum is inherently a demand? Yes, it is
an ultimatum by definition, is.
Speaker 7 (28:46):
Saying between there's a difference between saying this is my
life goal and this is not, you know, ultimatum, it's
it's it's not really an ultimatum. It's saying that.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
But we're saying the same thing.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
If I come to you, Jane and say, here are
the things that are important to me.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
That's I agree with you.
Speaker 1 (29:06):
That is different than me coming and saying if you
don't marry me by the end of the year, I'm gone.
Those are two different things because one's a threat and
the other is an expression.
Speaker 7 (29:19):
But the thing is, it's we're not talking about We're
talking about a major life goal and a major life situation,
and you're giving somebody time to make a decision.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
But you're not in an ultimatum. In an ultimatum, you're
saying it's this or that if I express my needs
and you don't.
Speaker 7 (29:36):
It's a mixing of I think it's a mixing of
interpretations of what is being said and how it's being said.
But it is extremely important in a dating situation to
say this is my need, this is my why, I
agree with you, why I am dating I think I
agree with you. It's really going on here.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
Yeah. No, this guy's not being given an ultimatum. No, no, no.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
An ultimatum is separate from this. He's this isn't a
conversation they're having. I'm saying I don't like an ultimatum.
I don't like an ultimatum in any situation. And you
hear about it sometimes, like the woman who called earlier
and said, if you don't marry me by the end
of the year, I'm gone.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I don't like that. That's pressure. That's how it's a man, though.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
I think that's a choice. You're giving the choice.
Speaker 7 (30:15):
Are you in it?
Speaker 4 (30:16):
Are you out?
Speaker 7 (30:17):
Like exactly?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
That's not why I just say, hey, look, I would
like to be married to you. I need to be
married to you soon, you know, or I need to
I don't know. It's just if you don't or else.
Speaker 7 (30:27):
Nobody it's articulated. Nobody is in an articulate It is you, Fred,
You're like one of the most articulate people in the world.
Jos say it average. The average people will not say
it that way. Yeah, well, I say the other way.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
And I respect your perspective as a mental health cancer.
It's just a threat. For me, the threat is dangerous
and I don't like it, and I don't think it's
the right way.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Because I feel you're.
Speaker 7 (30:52):
Threat I am.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
I wants to be written in any context though nobody
wants to be threat.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
Why you got to tell him it's not a threat,
it's a promise. Act together.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Jane, I appreciate you, Thank you for calling. I have
a good day. No I hear what she's saying. May
I just don't want I don't want to be confused.
Absolutely express what's important to you
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