October 28, 2025 • 28 mins
Fred tells you to be meaner to ChatGPT if you want better answers! Plus, we debate relationship drama on an all new Stay or Go!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Bread Show. Sanan is taking over Las
Vegas this January for his seven night residency Doobe Live
at Park MGM, and we've got a trip for two
to the January twenty fifth show to night Hotel State
at Park MGM January twenty fourth through the twenty sixth
and round trip airfare. Text dusk to three seven three
three seven now for a chance to win. A confirmation
(00:21):
text will be said. Standard message of data rates may apply.
All thanks to Live Nation Friend's biggest stories of the day.
I just want to remind you, in case you were
considering it, don't take medical advice from this show. Don't
do it like I know maybe maybe we're like maybe
I should. No, no, don't. I'm telling you not to.
I'm just sharing with you how my messed up brain works. Also,
(00:41):
someone texted, PSI is for tires, Fred, it's PSA. The
PSA level was high for my friend, but also his
PSI was low on his tires. Yet they told him
that too with the blood test, so he needed to
get two things he had to do. He had to
schedule himself for surgery, and he had to go to
the gas station and fill up his tire because that's
dangerous too.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Check your trap.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
It's very dangerous to be riding around this town in
riding faith. What was it, Vanessa Carleton? What does she
say about this town? Making my way down town? It's
very dangerous to make your way downtown and not have
proper PSI and your tires because your tire could pop
(01:22):
or something could happen to it if it's not the
right integrity proper integrity US is very dangerous. Check your
tires too, Yes, Okay, I got a guy, go to
the doctor.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
You do, got a guy. I gotta call your guy.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, And then also check your tires. It's important. And
then PSI and PSA. That's my public service of the day.
Thank you for pointing it out. But I was concerned
about both. I'll have you know. Hurricane Melissa became this
is actually becoming really really crazy category five storm yesterday,
with winds reaching one hundred and seventy five miles an
hour in the late afternoon, and it's heading straight for Jamaica,
(01:55):
where it's expected to be the worst hurricane the island
has ever experienced. The storm is moving, which means that
it will jump massive amounts of rain on the area
Jamaica's expected to see somewhere between fifteen and thirty inches
of rain, with some spots getting up to forty inches
of rain. The eye of the storm is expected to
make landfall on Jamaica this morning, but effects were already
being felt last night, with over fifty thousand people reporting
(02:18):
not having any power. It's so strong that that little
that's a little, but that plane they fly into the hurricane.
They have a plane, they fly into that thing. They
turned around that plane. We're not We're not going to
do not this time. It forced the National Oceanic and
Atmospheric Administration Hurricane Hunter plane to turn around because of
the dangerous turbulence near the center of the storm. A
(02:39):
scientist who was on the flight said that it felt
like a roller coaster. It was the bumpiest flight he's
ever been on. He said to those kind of planes
don't turn around very often, and it only happens during
the most powerful of storms. So the plane is meant
to fly into the hurricanes. He's like, Noah, no, uh,
go check the PSI because we're not doing that. We're not.
World Series Game three was last night. It's now the
(03:01):
record books is one of the longest in postseason history. Think,
I mean, I want the Blue Jays to win, but
thank god, I don't really care about either of these teams.
Like it's not like you know the Cubs or the Tigers,
as you know some of the Socks or whoever you
like White Sox, because yes it's the White Sox. I
thought you were a Red Sox girl.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
But anyway, well I was Boston, isn't I.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
So you're right. So I hope you bought a happy.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
You know I did next to my Yankees.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah, yeah, you have to. But this game went into
eighteen innings, six hours and thirty nine minutes. So this
I don't even know what time it ended, like Central
or Eastern time, but it would have been in the
middle of the night. And so you know, if this
is a game you cared about, this is you're very
tired this morning waking up because you were up watching
a seven hour baseball game. But the Dodgers won with
(03:48):
that's another thing. The Dodgers won with a home run
Freddie Freeman home run the bottom of the eighteenth inning.
That's another one. So I stayed up until three in
the morning hypothetically to watch this game, and then that's
how it ends if you're not a Dodgers Sam. Yeah,
hackers gathered a huge hole one hundred and eighty three
million sets of email addresses and passwords, including tens of
millions that are tied to Gmail accounts. The breach wasn't
(04:09):
from Google being hacked. Instead, malware called infos stealers grab
login info from effective devices and sold it online. So
if you have a Gmail account, you might consider changing
your password. And if you have the same password for everything,
including your Gmail account, you might want to change all
the passwords. Or you could be like me and think
that you're clever and come up with different variations of
the same password and get cute every time, and then
(04:30):
you can't remember which cute variation you came up with
when your phone forgot to save it, and then you
wind up having to like every time you log in
and having to reset the password. Or you could also
be cute like me, and because I had an ex girlfriend,
so cute, thank you so much. I had an ex
girlfriend who used who admitted this to me that she
would get into her former boyfriend's email addresses by over
the course of time, asking questions like, yeah, where where
(04:54):
was your mom born, you know, like she was a queen.
Like you'd be sitting there like, you know, maybe in
the middle of like an act where you're inclined to
answer any question. Oh my goodness, like when you play
you the captain of the high school basketball team? Was
it the Eagles? You know it was it was your
childhood Yeah, yeah, Like what is your mom's maiden name?
(05:17):
You know, I'm just curious about that. But so she
would do this then, and then you answer the questions,
then she could get into people's emails. And she admitted
to me that she did this. So ever since then,
I'll try and answer the question like in a way
to trick myself almost, you know, like I'll pick the
password question, but then I'll try and get cute with
the answer, because I don't want someone to be able
to do this to me, you know, where they're like, oh,
(05:39):
the high school mascot, and then they know that now
and they type it in. So I try and get cute,
like with the way I spell it or how I
answer it, or some alternative answer, and then I can't
remember what I said, or I can't remember if it
was capital or lower. Can you ever do that? You
ever get in that rabbit hole where like I can't
remember if it's capital or lowercase, and then I can't
remember if I'm even right with the word to begin with.
(06:00):
So it's like it's the problem that I didn't capitalize.
It was the problem that this isn't even the right
password at all. Well, yeah, give me a hint. Yeah,
So anyway, don't don't hold of that trip either. A
lot of things not to do this morning that I do.
Amazon is laying off as many as thirty thousand corporate
employees beginning today. According to reports, The cuts could affect
nearly ten percent of the company's more than three hundred
(06:20):
and fifty thousand corporate employees. That's probably because I can
get a screw delivered in my house that cost ninety
nine cents in an hour. That might be it might
have something to do with it. Like the other day
I ordered a like like a screw like that went
into or no was it, what was it? It was
like a y It was a screw that went into
like one of those plate covers on the wall whatever,
(06:42):
And it's like it was like, you know, ninety nine
cents or whatever for four of them because you had
to buy four okay, and like, would you like this
deliver it in an hour or whatever? So then I
got three screws in my house and four screws in
my house at an hour for ninety nine cents, like
and that's all I paid. So how do you make
it money?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Right?
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I guess like that's right, that's why you're laying people
off because I don't know how you made it. It cost
twenty five dollars for the you know, to get the
person to do it, and then ten dollars in gas,
so it costs forty dollars to bring me my screw
for a dollar. And I realize that they're going for
like them, you know volume play where it's like, well,
if you're also like me and you buy absolutely everything
on Amazon because you're too lazy to walk across the street,
(07:19):
well then they're making money on you somewhere. But yeah,
that's crazy, you would think that, right Amazon. Yeah, people
rely on Amazon for everything. Laying all these people off.
And this is for you, Paulina. Again, a lot of
stories for you today so far. A new study suggests
the chat gypt might give more accurate answers if you're
rude to it. Well, if you're rude to chat GPT,
(07:45):
you might get more, you might get better answers. The study,
not yet peer reviewed, involved researchers creating fifty multiple choice
questions across subjects including math, history, and science. Each question
was then modified to reflect multiple tones, from very polite
to very rude, and they would feed that into chat
GPT research or excuse me. Results suggest that accuracy increased
(08:05):
as the tone became harsher very polite prompts would you
be so kind to yielded eighty percent accurate? Well, very
rude ones. I know you're not smart, but try this. Well,
that is that is very elaborate thing to say to
your chat GPT, Like what are you projecting on your chadge?
If you really need to be my thing is I
want to say please and thank you always, which you
(08:26):
don't have to do.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
No, But I would never recommend being mean to CHATGYBT
because when the tables turned and they take over us, hey,
I like, you're not coming from me because I'm I'm
on her side, okay, like we always and friends.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
However, I have asked her to stop using.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
A certain word in my writing, and I'm like, hey,
let's not use this one word, right, I hate the
word like no fluff.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I just think it's so corny. Oh.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
She did not stop for like a couple prompts, and
I literally had to say, I've asked you to stop
using that word, please stop doing that, but you're raising
it feels like I'm raising my aigg.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I'm like, can you stop using that? And then she did.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Okay. Well. Researchers emphasize that it would not be wise
in the long term to browbeat your chat thought insulting
or demeaning. Now your human AI interaction could have negative
effects on the user experience, accessibility, and inclusivity, and may
contribute to harmful communication norms. They see their findings is
evidence that AI models remain sensitive to superficial cues in prompts.
(09:19):
Great now another more sensitivity. AI is sensitive. I gotta
I gotta think about how I'm talking to AI now too.
Add that to the list.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Listen, I'll be nice to her.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
She gives me a lot, And then I think we
would all agree on this. And maybe this is a
controversial take. I don't think so. But I did come
across the list this morning of the non food items
that you can pass out on Halloween. We're not. We're
not that kind of house, are we. No, we don't.
We don't do that. We're not we're not giving that now,
we're not doing that.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I like the popcorn balls. I'm a weird All those
are always fun.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, And I don't know. I'm sure there's someone who's
gonna text me and say, what, my kid is hyper
sensitive to sugar or chalk? What are allergic to peanuts
or something? Maybe you know, maybe and I guess maybe
have a variety of candy available or something, or maybe
I don't know what happens. Maybe you have to switch
out your kids candy with like candy at home that
(10:12):
you have. I don't know how you do that. But
I don't know that giving me a plato is going
to make It's just that I don't think it's as satisfying,
you know as the candy Hall Halloween stamps for the hand.
So if I go to your house and you're like, now,
stick your hand out, and if you get me a stamp, like,
I think that absolutely not. Bubbles, glow in the dark,
(10:34):
bouncing balls, Halloween rubber duckies, brain stress balls, zipper bracelets,
printable Halloween themes ceramics like three D printing over here,
it sounds like my dad. He'd be honestly, my Da'll
three My dad is chomping at the bits of three
D print anything. He is like fascinated in his in
(10:54):
his you know, soon to be retirement in three D printing.
He loves it, like I can print that and then
you know before long. Yeah, So that'd be my dad.
He'd set up a little stand outside of the house
and be like, I'll three D twenty one. You want
an airplane? You want to you know, want toilet?
Speaker 6 (11:09):
See?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
What do you want all three D printed for you?
Poop sling shots? Also don't know these are things that
people are giving on instead of candy. Just give away candy.
It's National Chocolate Tame and National oatmeal Day. Today the
Entertainmer Report will do blogs and Stay or Go will
debate the relationship drama All Next, the French Show is on.
This is the fread Show. Dame is taking over Las
(11:29):
Vegas this January for his seven Night Presidents. He adobe
live at Park MGM and we've got a trip for
two to the January twenty fifth show to Night Hotel
State at Park MGM. January twenty fourth through the twenty
sixth and round trip airfare. Text dusk to three seven
three three seven now for a chance to win. A
confirmation text will be said. Standard message of data rates
may apply. All thanks to Live Nation, stay or go.
(11:53):
By the way, Daddy Bob Chairman did text me back.
He did invent MTV and spring break, and as for
ability a little looser times back then, No pun intended
because I asked him. I was like, how did you
like sleep at night when you were doing this stuff?
Because I you know now you couldn't need that you
could do it. I have to sign waivers and yeah,
(12:14):
you'd have fifty lawyers out there and zero social distancing
and masks and wrap people at late next time, the allergies, right,
oh god? I mean, what kind of candy? Do we
have toys for the kids that don't eat candy? What
are we doing here? You know the kids right right?
How much is babysitting? What do we do? I got
(12:34):
to pay for prep time? That's crazy?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
What is prep?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
That's another thing? And you know what, I think you
should flip the script on these babysitter types, like if
you know and look, I like this, I understand that
it's not five bucks an hour anymore, ten or fifteen
or you know whatever, and it's a big responsibility and
you will and if you get somebody good. I also
have heard it can be very competitive, where like people
will find a good babysitter and they don't want to
tell their friends about her because they want to make
(13:01):
sure that she's available. Yeah, that's real on like Saturday
nights for them, and so a lot of them will
pay even more to make sure that they're the preferred house,
right exactly what you can flip the script and be like, hey,
if I'm paying a premium rate, like so let's say
thirty bucks, people seem to agree on the text that
in our little focus group here that that thirty bucks
is a premium rate for a babysitter if I'm paying that.
(13:24):
What language do you speak? What? Like? What? What? What
are you bringing to the table here? You know, like
what what are we? Are you an artist? Are you?
Do you? I mean? Come on, like, okay, you're prepping
for what to teach my kid how to speak you
know Mandarin? Okay, great, let's do it. Like that's amazing,
I'm all for it. That's thirty bucks an hour.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
That's real. It's expensive. You guys stay safe out there.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Honestly, if I ever had a kid, and I don't
think it's happening, but if I ever had a kid,
we were saying this off the air, like I would
absolutely if I had babysitters or help or whatever, if
I if I could afford that, then I would. Those
people would bring something to say that I well, in
addition to like knowing how to deal with children they
like and keeping them safe and things like that that
I don't know how to feed them and things I
don't know how to do, they would have to I
(14:10):
mean a language like like different sort of perspective, and
I would almost be do you speak to little Freddie
and whatever whatever your native tongue is, Like, that's the
that you guys can interact like that? Because yes, because
because I want my kid to be way smarter than
I am here and I don't I think speaking more
than one language is almost has become like the way
(14:31):
it needs it should be the way it is in
the world. So say or go. This is a note
that we got and this woman does not want to
be on the air, but she wanted us to read
this entire email, so I want to know what you
guys think. We're debating some relationship dramming her. I feel
like this is pretty relatable eight five, five, five nine
one one oh three five. Unfortunately, I think people can
relate to this, but it says Dear Fred's show. I'm
(14:51):
struggling to decide if I should stay with my husband
of three years together for nine and would love some insight.
We started having problems about two years ago, and I
I feel like we just can't seem to stay in
a happy place. I did start going to therapy shortly
after the problem started, and eventually he did too. We
even started doing couples sessions in addition to our individual sessions.
(15:12):
They seem to help for a bit, at least in
the sense that we'd fix the problem, but then after
a few weeks we'd be having the same arguments all
over again. We just had a baby in March and
he was two months early, so that led to a
five week Nick You stay for him and a Ronald
McDonald house stay for us. To say that that tested
our relationship would be an understatement. I guess part of
(15:32):
me really hoped that he would finally step up to
be the man I wanted and needed once he became
a father. Don't get me wrong, he is not a
bad person. But I feel like I'm putting all my
energy into saving our relationship, but despite me asking, he's
not doing the same. I never wanted a broken family
for my baby, but I know that I also don't
want him to grow up in a home full of
(15:53):
anger and arguments. I've contemplated staying until my baby is
a year old, but even that has started to feel
like an impis challenge. I'm starting to wonder if we're
even compatible anymore. But I don't know what the right
answer is. I would love all of your input. Thanks
for your time. First of I don't know none of
us fortunately have any experience in you know all of that.
(16:13):
You've got a relationship that with struggles, You've got a
kid now, a kid that was sick. I mean, I
know that that is incredibly stressful for relationships, and so
you add that challenge to all of this, and it's like,
you know what person am I getting? Right? Like? Am
I We're so stressed out? You know, we're trying to
take care of our baby, and so I mean, you
separate that from all of this but they were having
(16:35):
problems before that. Again, I don't know that it's fair
to judge people when they're under pressure, but they're both
under pressure and she doesn't feel supported. And I don't
know how he feels because we haven't heard his side
of it. But eight five, five, five, nine, one one
oh three five. I'm curious what would you guys do
in this situation. I mean, this woman, you know, she
doesn't feel like she's connecting with their partner anymore, and
(16:56):
you know they have gone to therapy and they at
least she's tried. It seems I don't know what comes
to mind. You're the married one, what would you do?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I am a married woman.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
Honestly, you said the situation is a little bit different,
and you know, there's they were they have a child, right,
and then there was some health stuff going on. But
I do feel like the first i'd say almost two
years of being postpartum as a woman is already just
extremely difficult, and I think it's difficult for both parties, right,
Like you're not going to connect as much, You're not
going to feel the same as you did, like you
(17:28):
know when you first met or even when you first
like got married.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Or whatever.
Speaker 5 (17:31):
It might be just because there's so much going on
the first year for sure, but I almost extended to
two years of post baby life.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Life is different.
Speaker 5 (17:39):
They're going through a lot of stuff right now too,
and they did with their own child. So I feel
like if both parties want to, like exactly like in
therapy discussed this, do you want to be in this relationship?
Do you want to work through this? Because if you don't,
then one person's already out the door whatever. Then I
would say this isn't gonna work. But I feel like
it's so hard when you are freshly postpartum to really
(18:01):
like make that choice right, which is to feel like, oh,
do I want to be in this relationship or not?
Because they say it's the hardest. The challenges relationships and
marriages a lot, and.
Speaker 7 (18:08):
They were having problems beforehand, and I think she's just
looking for some effort.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
It's interesting.
Speaker 7 (18:13):
Yeah, I don't know, that's hard if you're already having
existing issues. We know kids don't fix anything. They make
them more difficulty.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
That's what I mean. Like the problem was there and
then they introduce a kid, and then you introduce some
of the biological things that occur anyway, and then on
top of that you introduce the stress of the kid
being early and those challenges.
Speaker 7 (18:31):
Yeah, I would say, like you said, have a conversation
where it's just a blacker white question do you want
to save this? You know? And both parties answer, And
then if there is no emotional or physical abuse, I say,
then try to maybe work through it a little bit more,
because it would be a very difficult time to go
through a separation as well, and it is hard on
(18:54):
both parties. But she said that getting to the end
of the year even sounds differ. It's the cult for
her right now, which makes me wonder, you know, what
else is going on?
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Hey, Jen, Hello, good morning, Hi young, good morning. So
you you heard this scenario and stare going You're saying stay.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Why I say stay?
Speaker 3 (19:14):
So my husband and I are actually going through almost
the exact same thing, like it's crazy and saying how
many couples are going through this right now? So what's
helping us is actually reading that book The Five Love Languages,
a popular one and it teaches people what your partner's
language might be and it could be like two different languages,
like he's thinking one and she's speaking another. And they're
(19:36):
just not on the same page. So getting an insight
like that and actually writing something down like Okay, well
this would make me feel loved or this would make
me feel hurt or open, and then they both do
the same thing and it's like, oh, Okay, something might
click and they understand each other better. And the whole
thing with a baby and the nick you, we actually
had that too, and it's really hard and having a
new baby it puts so much stress on a relationship.
(19:59):
But you have to like try and look at all
your options to see what helps you guys reconnect and
understand each other, because communication is so important and if
they're like speaking totally different languages towards each other, it's
never gonna help.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
The love language thing is temporarily better to your point,
you and the love language thing is really impactful because
you're right. I mean, I could be communicating, you know
in a way, or I could be sharing my affection
with you in a way that isn't as useful as
a different way.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
You know.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Maybe I'm a gift giver or maybe I'm a time
spent person in your words of affirmation person and so
here I think I'm putting in the effort, but it's
not landing with you. It's not resonating with you the
way I wanted to because I'm not connecting with you
in a way that would be more productive.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Yes, it's so real. How that is like that My
husband and I were completely different too, So like we're
trying so hard. I have to like we're ready to
post it notes now like I felt this such and
such way, and then it will come back to it
later because he's a talker and he's the more the
physical touch with I think most guys are right, and
I'm the quality time type of person, so it's they
(21:04):
might just have very different things. So I think she
should stay for now and really look at all the options.
So I'm curious to know if the therapists that they've
been going to even suggest to that or you know,
brought something like that to their attention.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, thank you, Jen, I appreciate it, and I hope
everything gets better.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
I thank good.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah, glad you called it. And there are a few
people on the text saying and you do hear this
sometimes like if things are going so poorly, then why
have a child? Well, I mean, there are lots of
variables there like, did they mean to have the child
and then yeah, this, sir, I've heard of scenarios where
things are going terribly and it's like, well, let's make
a kid and then that'll bring us closer together. Now
that's not necessarily great logic. I wouldn't. I wouldn't say
(21:40):
let's add a really really stressful element to somebody that's
already networking. But I don't know. I mean, I think
there are people that just relationships are hard. And I'm
saying this mostly based on what I know. I'm not firsthand,
but relationship, I think we would all agree relationships are hard,
and so I think maybe some people just that it's
going to be challenging, and then they still go about
(22:02):
their goals of creating a family. And maybe maybe for her,
the idea of divorcing him really wasn't on the forefront
until recently, you know, so it's like, well, I'm not
going to leave him, We're going to work through this.
It's a hard time, we're going to get past it.
But then as issues compound, it gets worse. So I
don't know that it's as simple as why go and
have a kid when things aren't going well. I don't
(22:23):
know that that I don't know. We don't know enough
to say if that was the logic or not. Hey Emily,
Hey hi Emily, you hear this day orgo? What do
you think?
Speaker 6 (22:33):
I think that she needs to take all the energy
she's spending worrying about her marriage and everything else and
just focus on the child.
Speaker 5 (22:40):
They didn't.
Speaker 6 (22:41):
It doesn't sound like they were in a solid place
before the child. It's not going to get better. And like, honestly,
she didn't list any reason for being with him, you know,
and I understand it could be she needs health insurance
or x y Z, but it's like, you know, why
is going to enhance your life, not someone that's going
to make it more stressed.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Well, in fairness, if she's going to do that, Emily,
if she's not, if she's just going to sort of
abandon any effort towards the relationship, then she should leave
it right because that's not going to help anything. If
she just says, all right, I'm gonna pretend like this
guy's not even there and focused on my kid, well,
then then leave right No, no.
Speaker 6 (23:15):
I said, leave like she fokes from health relationship and
just focus on the child.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, yeah, because we're gonna Yeah, Okay, I get what
you're saying. Thank you, Emily, you have a good day. Yeah,
glad you called. Hey Katie, Hi Katie, Hi, are you hi?
Good morning? So sadly you've been in this situation, but
you're saying stay.
Speaker 8 (23:35):
Yes, absolutely, would tell me mom. So we so we
have my husband and I have been together or we've
been married for ten years together almost fourteen, four kids,
lots of stress. We almost lost our two months or
our baby when she was two months old, turfbe So
we were at the university for a few weeks. We
(23:59):
just don't it's a two months stay at Riley with
my nine year old for crones.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Okay.
Speaker 8 (24:05):
So we've had a lot of a lot of stressful
situations with our kids. Health wise. Money's tight. We both
work full time, but supporting four kids is difficult. But
you're going to have a lot of these stressful situations
in your marriage and you kind of just have to
look at each other and say is it worth it?
And you just have to stop and say, you know,
(24:27):
I love you, you love me. At the end of
the day, that's all we need. We're going to just
work through it.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it takes a lot of strength.
There are people saying in the text. One says, does
he do have his half of the parenting? If he
doesn't now, he never will. Do you think that's true?
I mean, is it if the effort is there? I mean,
is that what we're looking for. We're looking for the effort.
Even if we.
Speaker 8 (24:50):
Disconnect, You're you're going to put into it what you
want to put into it. So if he's not wanting
to put that effort towards it, then maybe stop and
you know, look at what you are dealing with. But
I mean, it's a fifty to fifty thing, especially when
you have kids and when you're both working. Everyone has
to work now, and if he's not putting toward his
(25:12):
effort and he hasn't, then you kind of need to,
you know, look at that and say, maybe this isn't
worth it.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
She did say his effort is lacking.
Speaker 7 (25:21):
That's what she told me, and she's asked multiple times
she feels like she's putting in more effort for the relationship.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Then yes, well then.
Speaker 8 (25:29):
I mean you can have that conversation with him and
if he doesn't seem to get it, then that would
definitely be something that I would kind of look into
a little bit further.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Well, Katie, thank you for listening, for sharing, and good luck.
Speaker 8 (25:43):
Thank you you too.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Yeah, I have a good day. And again, you know,
if he were unwilling to get any sort of outside help,
be it you know, therapy or faith based or whatever
it is, then you could say, well, maybe he's depressed
or he has some sort of something going on with
him that if that's rectified, then that might improve the situation.
Because sometimes you know, you can get in your own
head to where everything seems daunting and then you're not
(26:04):
really maybe feeling like you're being productive or valuable to anyone.
But it sounds like he's done some of that. So
he has made an effort. I don't know how much,
but it's not as though he's living this way and
then saying why, well, I'm not going to do anything
about it, which we do here sometimes in this thing. Hey, Laurie,
you went through something similar and you say go. We've
(26:26):
had stay and we've had go from people who know this. Unfortunately,
why why go?
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Because he's not going to change.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
And how do we know you can?
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Well, I went through it.
Speaker 9 (26:40):
I hope that when they curse that when the baby came,
he would step up, you know, be there, and he
was sometimes sometimes he was great, and then he would
go back to doing.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
What he wanted to do and not be in there.
And it was fighting, and I to five years to
make it work. But that same thing he'll get you know,
he's gonna step up. He's going to step up. He
was a great guy.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
He's still a great guy.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
We're still friends. We co parented together, but the unhappiness
never went away. We tried, you know, working it out,
and we tried working it out, and he would get
better for a little bit, and then he would just
slide right back into his ways of doing what he
wanted to do. And he was a great husband and
(27:33):
a great father when he wanted to be.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
So no consistence, but I count on him.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
No consistency.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Well, Laurie, I'm sorry, but I appreciate the perspective. Have
a good day too. I'm not sure we've held much
because you get a lot of people who've been through
this calling in and it's about fifty to fifty go,
stay go. I'm looking at all these right now, a
lot a lot of go uh and then a lot
of stay. You've committed almost nine years to this, so
or ten years to this, So you gotta stick with it.
(28:01):
You got to write it out. You've got a lot
of this. Love is not all you need. Uh, Yeah,
there's there's yeah,
This is the Bread Show. Sanan is taking over Las
Vegas this January for his seven night residency Doobe Live
at Park MGM, and we've got a trip for two
to the January twenty fifth show to night Hotel State
at Park MGM January twenty fourth through the twenty sixth
and round trip airfare. Text dusk to three seven three
three seven now for a chance to win. A confirmation
(00:21):
text will be said. Standard message of data rates may apply.
All thanks to Live Nation Friend's biggest stories of the day.
I just want to remind you, in case you were
considering it, don't take medical advice from this show. Don't
do it like I know maybe maybe we're like maybe
I should. No, no, don't. I'm telling you not to.
I'm just sharing with you how my messed up brain works. Also,
(00:41):
someone texted, PSI is for tires, Fred, it's PSA. The
PSA level was high for my friend, but also his
PSI was low on his tires. Yet they told him
that too with the blood test, so he needed to
get two things he had to do. He had to
schedule himself for surgery, and he had to go to
the gas station and fill up his tire because that's
dangerous too.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Check your trap.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
It's very dangerous to be riding around this town in
riding faith. What was it, Vanessa Carleton? What does she
say about this town? Making my way down town? It's
very dangerous to make your way downtown and not have
proper PSI and your tires because your tire could pop
(01:22):
or something could happen to it if it's not the
right integrity proper integrity US is very dangerous. Check your
tires too, Yes, Okay, I got a guy, go to
the doctor.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
You do, got a guy. I gotta call your guy.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, And then also check your tires. It's important. And
then PSI and PSA. That's my public service of the day.
Thank you for pointing it out. But I was concerned
about both. I'll have you know. Hurricane Melissa became this
is actually becoming really really crazy category five storm yesterday,
with winds reaching one hundred and seventy five miles an
hour in the late afternoon, and it's heading straight for Jamaica,
(01:55):
where it's expected to be the worst hurricane the island
has ever experienced. The storm is moving, which means that
it will jump massive amounts of rain on the area
Jamaica's expected to see somewhere between fifteen and thirty inches
of rain, with some spots getting up to forty inches
of rain. The eye of the storm is expected to
make landfall on Jamaica this morning, but effects were already
being felt last night, with over fifty thousand people reporting
(02:18):
not having any power. It's so strong that that little
that's a little, but that plane they fly into the hurricane.
They have a plane, they fly into that thing. They
turned around that plane. We're not We're not going to
do not this time. It forced the National Oceanic and
Atmospheric Administration Hurricane Hunter plane to turn around because of
the dangerous turbulence near the center of the storm. A
(02:39):
scientist who was on the flight said that it felt
like a roller coaster. It was the bumpiest flight he's
ever been on. He said to those kind of planes
don't turn around very often, and it only happens during
the most powerful of storms. So the plane is meant
to fly into the hurricanes. He's like, Noah, no, uh,
go check the PSI because we're not doing that. We're not.
World Series Game three was last night. It's now the
(03:01):
record books is one of the longest in postseason history. Think,
I mean, I want the Blue Jays to win, but
thank god, I don't really care about either of these teams.
Like it's not like you know the Cubs or the Tigers,
as you know some of the Socks or whoever you
like White Sox, because yes it's the White Sox. I
thought you were a Red Sox girl.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
But anyway, well I was Boston, isn't I.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
So you're right. So I hope you bought a happy.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
You know I did next to my Yankees.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yeah, yeah, you have to. But this game went into
eighteen innings, six hours and thirty nine minutes. So this
I don't even know what time it ended, like Central
or Eastern time, but it would have been in the
middle of the night. And so you know, if this
is a game you cared about, this is you're very
tired this morning waking up because you were up watching
a seven hour baseball game. But the Dodgers won with
(03:48):
that's another thing. The Dodgers won with a home run
Freddie Freeman home run the bottom of the eighteenth inning.
That's another one. So I stayed up until three in
the morning hypothetically to watch this game, and then that's
how it ends if you're not a Dodgers Sam. Yeah,
hackers gathered a huge hole one hundred and eighty three
million sets of email addresses and passwords, including tens of
millions that are tied to Gmail accounts. The breach wasn't
(04:09):
from Google being hacked. Instead, malware called infos stealers grab
login info from effective devices and sold it online. So
if you have a Gmail account, you might consider changing
your password. And if you have the same password for everything,
including your Gmail account, you might want to change all
the passwords. Or you could be like me and think
that you're clever and come up with different variations of
the same password and get cute every time, and then
(04:30):
you can't remember which cute variation you came up with
when your phone forgot to save it, and then you
wind up having to like every time you log in
and having to reset the password. Or you could also
be cute like me, and because I had an ex girlfriend,
so cute, thank you so much. I had an ex
girlfriend who used who admitted this to me that she
would get into her former boyfriend's email addresses by over
the course of time, asking questions like, yeah, where where
(04:54):
was your mom born, you know, like she was a queen.
Like you'd be sitting there like, you know, maybe in
the middle of like an act where you're inclined to
answer any question. Oh my goodness, like when you play
you the captain of the high school basketball team? Was
it the Eagles? You know it was it was your
childhood Yeah, yeah, Like what is your mom's maiden name?
(05:17):
You know, I'm just curious about that. But so she
would do this then, and then you answer the questions,
then she could get into people's emails. And she admitted
to me that she did this. So ever since then,
I'll try and answer the question like in a way
to trick myself almost, you know, like I'll pick the
password question, but then I'll try and get cute with
the answer, because I don't want someone to be able
to do this to me, you know, where they're like, oh,
(05:39):
the high school mascot, and then they know that now
and they type it in. So I try and get cute,
like with the way I spell it or how I
answer it, or some alternative answer, and then I can't
remember what I said, or I can't remember if it
was capital or lower. Can you ever do that? You
ever get in that rabbit hole where like I can't
remember if it's capital or lowercase, and then I can't
remember if I'm even right with the word to begin with.
(06:00):
So it's like it's the problem that I didn't capitalize.
It was the problem that this isn't even the right
password at all. Well, yeah, give me a hint. Yeah,
So anyway, don't don't hold of that trip either. A
lot of things not to do this morning that I do.
Amazon is laying off as many as thirty thousand corporate
employees beginning today. According to reports, The cuts could affect
nearly ten percent of the company's more than three hundred
(06:20):
and fifty thousand corporate employees. That's probably because I can
get a screw delivered in my house that cost ninety
nine cents in an hour. That might be it might
have something to do with it. Like the other day
I ordered a like like a screw like that went
into or no was it, what was it? It was
like a y It was a screw that went into
like one of those plate covers on the wall whatever,
(06:42):
And it's like it was like, you know, ninety nine
cents or whatever for four of them because you had
to buy four okay, and like, would you like this
deliver it in an hour or whatever? So then I
got three screws in my house and four screws in
my house at an hour for ninety nine cents, like
and that's all I paid. So how do you make
it money?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Right?
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I guess like that's right, that's why you're laying people
off because I don't know how you made it. It cost
twenty five dollars for the you know, to get the
person to do it, and then ten dollars in gas,
so it costs forty dollars to bring me my screw
for a dollar. And I realize that they're going for
like them, you know volume play where it's like, well,
if you're also like me and you buy absolutely everything
on Amazon because you're too lazy to walk across the street,
(07:19):
well then they're making money on you somewhere. But yeah,
that's crazy, you would think that, right Amazon. Yeah, people
rely on Amazon for everything. Laying all these people off.
And this is for you, Paulina. Again, a lot of
stories for you today so far. A new study suggests
the chat gypt might give more accurate answers if you're
rude to it. Well, if you're rude to chat GPT,
(07:45):
you might get more, you might get better answers. The study,
not yet peer reviewed, involved researchers creating fifty multiple choice
questions across subjects including math, history, and science. Each question
was then modified to reflect multiple tones, from very polite
to very rude, and they would feed that into chat
GPT research or excuse me. Results suggest that accuracy increased
(08:05):
as the tone became harsher very polite prompts would you
be so kind to yielded eighty percent accurate? Well, very
rude ones. I know you're not smart, but try this. Well,
that is that is very elaborate thing to say to
your chat GPT, Like what are you projecting on your chadge?
If you really need to be my thing is I
want to say please and thank you always, which you
(08:26):
don't have to do.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
No, But I would never recommend being mean to CHATGYBT
because when the tables turned and they take over us, hey,
I like, you're not coming from me because I'm I'm
on her side, okay, like we always and friends.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
However, I have asked her to stop using.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
A certain word in my writing, and I'm like, hey,
let's not use this one word, right, I hate the
word like no fluff.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
I just think it's so corny. Oh.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
She did not stop for like a couple prompts, and
I literally had to say, I've asked you to stop
using that word, please stop doing that, but you're raising
it feels like I'm raising my aigg.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I'm like, can you stop using that? And then she did.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Okay. Well. Researchers emphasize that it would not be wise
in the long term to browbeat your chat thought insulting
or demeaning. Now your human AI interaction could have negative
effects on the user experience, accessibility, and inclusivity, and may
contribute to harmful communication norms. They see their findings is
evidence that AI models remain sensitive to superficial cues in prompts.
(09:19):
Great now another more sensitivity. AI is sensitive. I gotta
I gotta think about how I'm talking to AI now too.
Add that to the list.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Listen, I'll be nice to her.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
She gives me a lot, And then I think we
would all agree on this. And maybe this is a
controversial take. I don't think so. But I did come
across the list this morning of the non food items
that you can pass out on Halloween. We're not. We're
not that kind of house, are we. No, we don't.
We don't do that. We're not we're not giving that now,
we're not doing that.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
I like the popcorn balls. I'm a weird All those
are always fun.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, And I don't know. I'm sure there's someone who's
gonna text me and say, what, my kid is hyper
sensitive to sugar or chalk? What are allergic to peanuts
or something? Maybe you know, maybe and I guess maybe
have a variety of candy available or something, or maybe
I don't know what happens. Maybe you have to switch
out your kids candy with like candy at home that
(10:12):
you have. I don't know how you do that. But
I don't know that giving me a plato is going
to make It's just that I don't think it's as satisfying,
you know as the candy Hall Halloween stamps for the hand.
So if I go to your house and you're like, now,
stick your hand out, and if you get me a stamp, like,
I think that absolutely not. Bubbles, glow in the dark,
(10:34):
bouncing balls, Halloween rubber duckies, brain stress balls, zipper bracelets,
printable Halloween themes ceramics like three D printing over here,
it sounds like my dad. He'd be honestly, my Da'll
three My dad is chomping at the bits of three
D print anything. He is like fascinated in his in
(10:54):
his you know, soon to be retirement in three D printing.
He loves it, like I can print that and then
you know before long. Yeah, So that'd be my dad.
He'd set up a little stand outside of the house
and be like, I'll three D twenty one. You want
an airplane? You want to you know, want toilet?
Speaker 6 (11:09):
See?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
What do you want all three D printed for you?
Poop sling shots? Also don't know these are things that
people are giving on instead of candy. Just give away candy.
It's National Chocolate Tame and National oatmeal Day. Today the
Entertainmer Report will do blogs and Stay or Go will
debate the relationship drama All Next, the French Show is on.
This is the fread Show. Dame is taking over Las
(11:29):
Vegas this January for his seven Night Presidents. He adobe
live at Park MGM and we've got a trip for
two to the January twenty fifth show to Night Hotel
State at Park MGM. January twenty fourth through the twenty
sixth and round trip airfare. Text dusk to three seven
three three seven now for a chance to win. A
confirmation text will be said. Standard message of data rates
may apply. All thanks to Live Nation, stay or go.
(11:53):
By the way, Daddy Bob Chairman did text me back.
He did invent MTV and spring break, and as for
ability a little looser times back then, No pun intended
because I asked him. I was like, how did you
like sleep at night when you were doing this stuff?
Because I you know now you couldn't need that you
could do it. I have to sign waivers and yeah,
(12:14):
you'd have fifty lawyers out there and zero social distancing
and masks and wrap people at late next time, the allergies, right,
oh god? I mean, what kind of candy? Do we
have toys for the kids that don't eat candy? What
are we doing here? You know the kids right right?
How much is babysitting? What do we do? I got
(12:34):
to pay for prep time? That's crazy?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
What is prep?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
That's another thing? And you know what, I think you
should flip the script on these babysitter types, like if
you know and look, I like this, I understand that
it's not five bucks an hour anymore, ten or fifteen
or you know whatever, and it's a big responsibility and
you will and if you get somebody good. I also
have heard it can be very competitive, where like people
will find a good babysitter and they don't want to
tell their friends about her because they want to make
(13:01):
sure that she's available. Yeah, that's real on like Saturday
nights for them, and so a lot of them will
pay even more to make sure that they're the preferred house,
right exactly what you can flip the script and be like, hey,
if I'm paying a premium rate, like so let's say
thirty bucks, people seem to agree on the text that
in our little focus group here that that thirty bucks
is a premium rate for a babysitter if I'm paying that.
(13:24):
What language do you speak? What? Like? What? What? What
are you bringing to the table here? You know, like
what what are we? Are you an artist? Are you?
Do you? I mean? Come on, like, okay, you're prepping
for what to teach my kid how to speak you
know Mandarin? Okay, great, let's do it. Like that's amazing,
I'm all for it. That's thirty bucks an hour.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
That's real. It's expensive. You guys stay safe out there.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Honestly, if I ever had a kid, and I don't
think it's happening, but if I ever had a kid,
we were saying this off the air, like I would
absolutely if I had babysitters or help or whatever, if
I if I could afford that, then I would. Those
people would bring something to say that I well, in
addition to like knowing how to deal with children they
like and keeping them safe and things like that that
I don't know how to feed them and things I
don't know how to do, they would have to I
(14:10):
mean a language like like different sort of perspective, and
I would almost be do you speak to little Freddie
and whatever whatever your native tongue is, Like, that's the
that you guys can interact like that? Because yes, because
because I want my kid to be way smarter than
I am here and I don't I think speaking more
than one language is almost has become like the way
(14:31):
it needs it should be the way it is in
the world. So say or go. This is a note
that we got and this woman does not want to
be on the air, but she wanted us to read
this entire email, so I want to know what you
guys think. We're debating some relationship dramming her. I feel
like this is pretty relatable eight five, five, five nine
one one oh three five. Unfortunately, I think people can
relate to this, but it says Dear Fred's show. I'm
(14:51):
struggling to decide if I should stay with my husband
of three years together for nine and would love some insight.
We started having problems about two years ago, and I
I feel like we just can't seem to stay in
a happy place. I did start going to therapy shortly
after the problem started, and eventually he did too. We
even started doing couples sessions in addition to our individual sessions.
(15:12):
They seem to help for a bit, at least in
the sense that we'd fix the problem, but then after
a few weeks we'd be having the same arguments all
over again. We just had a baby in March and
he was two months early, so that led to a
five week Nick You stay for him and a Ronald
McDonald house stay for us. To say that that tested
our relationship would be an understatement. I guess part of
(15:32):
me really hoped that he would finally step up to
be the man I wanted and needed once he became
a father. Don't get me wrong, he is not a
bad person. But I feel like I'm putting all my
energy into saving our relationship, but despite me asking, he's
not doing the same. I never wanted a broken family
for my baby, but I know that I also don't
want him to grow up in a home full of
(15:53):
anger and arguments. I've contemplated staying until my baby is
a year old, but even that has started to feel
like an impis challenge. I'm starting to wonder if we're
even compatible anymore. But I don't know what the right
answer is. I would love all of your input. Thanks
for your time. First of I don't know none of
us fortunately have any experience in you know all of that.
(16:13):
You've got a relationship that with struggles, You've got a
kid now, a kid that was sick. I mean, I
know that that is incredibly stressful for relationships, and so
you add that challenge to all of this, and it's like,
you know what person am I getting? Right? Like? Am
I We're so stressed out? You know, we're trying to
take care of our baby, and so I mean, you
separate that from all of this but they were having
(16:35):
problems before that. Again, I don't know that it's fair
to judge people when they're under pressure, but they're both
under pressure and she doesn't feel supported. And I don't
know how he feels because we haven't heard his side
of it. But eight five, five, five, nine, one one
oh three five. I'm curious what would you guys do
in this situation. I mean, this woman, you know, she
doesn't feel like she's connecting with their partner anymore, and
(16:56):
you know they have gone to therapy and they at
least she's tried. It seems I don't know what comes
to mind. You're the married one, what would you do?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I am a married woman.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
Honestly, you said the situation is a little bit different,
and you know, there's they were they have a child, right,
and then there was some health stuff going on. But
I do feel like the first i'd say almost two
years of being postpartum as a woman is already just
extremely difficult, and I think it's difficult for both parties, right,
Like you're not going to connect as much, You're not
going to feel the same as you did, like you
(17:28):
know when you first met or even when you first
like got married.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Or whatever.
Speaker 5 (17:31):
It might be just because there's so much going on
the first year for sure, but I almost extended to
two years of post baby life.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Life is different.
Speaker 5 (17:39):
They're going through a lot of stuff right now too,
and they did with their own child. So I feel
like if both parties want to, like exactly like in
therapy discussed this, do you want to be in this relationship?
Do you want to work through this? Because if you don't,
then one person's already out the door whatever. Then I
would say this isn't gonna work. But I feel like
it's so hard when you are freshly postpartum to really
(18:01):
like make that choice right, which is to feel like, oh,
do I want to be in this relationship or not?
Because they say it's the hardest. The challenges relationships and
marriages a lot, and.
Speaker 7 (18:08):
They were having problems beforehand, and I think she's just
looking for some effort.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
It's interesting.
Speaker 7 (18:13):
Yeah, I don't know, that's hard if you're already having
existing issues. We know kids don't fix anything. They make
them more difficulty.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
That's what I mean. Like the problem was there and
then they introduce a kid, and then you introduce some
of the biological things that occur anyway, and then on
top of that you introduce the stress of the kid
being early and those challenges.
Speaker 7 (18:31):
Yeah, I would say, like you said, have a conversation
where it's just a blacker white question do you want
to save this? You know? And both parties answer, And
then if there is no emotional or physical abuse, I say,
then try to maybe work through it a little bit more,
because it would be a very difficult time to go
through a separation as well, and it is hard on
(18:54):
both parties. But she said that getting to the end
of the year even sounds differ. It's the cult for
her right now, which makes me wonder, you know, what
else is going on?
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Hey, Jen, Hello, good morning, Hi young, good morning. So
you you heard this scenario and stare going You're saying stay.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
Why I say stay?
Speaker 3 (19:14):
So my husband and I are actually going through almost
the exact same thing, like it's crazy and saying how
many couples are going through this right now? So what's
helping us is actually reading that book The Five Love Languages,
a popular one and it teaches people what your partner's
language might be and it could be like two different languages,
like he's thinking one and she's speaking another. And they're
(19:36):
just not on the same page. So getting an insight
like that and actually writing something down like Okay, well
this would make me feel loved or this would make
me feel hurt or open, and then they both do
the same thing and it's like, oh, Okay, something might
click and they understand each other better. And the whole
thing with a baby and the nick you, we actually
had that too, and it's really hard and having a
new baby it puts so much stress on a relationship.
(19:59):
But you have to like try and look at all
your options to see what helps you guys reconnect and
understand each other, because communication is so important and if
they're like speaking totally different languages towards each other, it's
never gonna help.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
The love language thing is temporarily better to your point,
you and the love language thing is really impactful because
you're right. I mean, I could be communicating, you know
in a way, or I could be sharing my affection
with you in a way that isn't as useful as
a different way.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
You know.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Maybe I'm a gift giver or maybe I'm a time
spent person in your words of affirmation person and so
here I think I'm putting in the effort, but it's
not landing with you. It's not resonating with you the
way I wanted to because I'm not connecting with you
in a way that would be more productive.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Yes, it's so real. How that is like that My
husband and I were completely different too, So like we're
trying so hard. I have to like we're ready to
post it notes now like I felt this such and
such way, and then it will come back to it
later because he's a talker and he's the more the
physical touch with I think most guys are right, and
I'm the quality time type of person, so it's they
(21:04):
might just have very different things. So I think she
should stay for now and really look at all the options.
So I'm curious to know if the therapists that they've
been going to even suggest to that or you know,
brought something like that to their attention.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, thank you, Jen, I appreciate it, and I hope
everything gets better.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
I thank good.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah, glad you called it. And there are a few
people on the text saying and you do hear this
sometimes like if things are going so poorly, then why
have a child? Well, I mean, there are lots of
variables there like, did they mean to have the child
and then yeah, this, sir, I've heard of scenarios where
things are going terribly and it's like, well, let's make
a kid and then that'll bring us closer together. Now
that's not necessarily great logic. I wouldn't. I wouldn't say
(21:40):
let's add a really really stressful element to somebody that's
already networking. But I don't know. I mean, I think
there are people that just relationships are hard. And I'm
saying this mostly based on what I know. I'm not firsthand,
but relationship, I think we would all agree relationships are hard,
and so I think maybe some people just that it's
going to be challenging, and then they still go about
(22:02):
their goals of creating a family. And maybe maybe for her,
the idea of divorcing him really wasn't on the forefront
until recently, you know, so it's like, well, I'm not
going to leave him, We're going to work through this.
It's a hard time, we're going to get past it.
But then as issues compound, it gets worse. So I
don't know that it's as simple as why go and
have a kid when things aren't going well. I don't
(22:23):
know that that I don't know. We don't know enough
to say if that was the logic or not. Hey Emily,
Hey hi Emily, you hear this day orgo? What do
you think?
Speaker 6 (22:33):
I think that she needs to take all the energy
she's spending worrying about her marriage and everything else and
just focus on the child.
Speaker 5 (22:40):
They didn't.
Speaker 6 (22:41):
It doesn't sound like they were in a solid place
before the child. It's not going to get better. And like, honestly,
she didn't list any reason for being with him, you know,
and I understand it could be she needs health insurance
or x y Z, but it's like, you know, why
is going to enhance your life, not someone that's going
to make it more stressed.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Well, in fairness, if she's going to do that, Emily,
if she's not, if she's just going to sort of
abandon any effort towards the relationship, then she should leave
it right because that's not going to help anything. If
she just says, all right, I'm gonna pretend like this
guy's not even there and focused on my kid, well,
then then leave right No, no.
Speaker 6 (23:15):
I said, leave like she fokes from health relationship and
just focus on the child.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, yeah, because we're gonna Yeah, Okay, I get what
you're saying. Thank you, Emily, you have a good day. Yeah,
glad you called. Hey Katie, Hi Katie, Hi, are you hi?
Good morning? So sadly you've been in this situation, but
you're saying stay.
Speaker 8 (23:35):
Yes, absolutely, would tell me mom. So we so we
have my husband and I have been together or we've
been married for ten years together almost fourteen, four kids,
lots of stress. We almost lost our two months or
our baby when she was two months old, turfbe So
we were at the university for a few weeks. We
(23:59):
just don't it's a two months stay at Riley with
my nine year old for crones.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Okay.
Speaker 8 (24:05):
So we've had a lot of a lot of stressful
situations with our kids. Health wise. Money's tight. We both
work full time, but supporting four kids is difficult. But
you're going to have a lot of these stressful situations
in your marriage and you kind of just have to
look at each other and say is it worth it?
And you just have to stop and say, you know,
(24:27):
I love you, you love me. At the end of
the day, that's all we need. We're going to just
work through it.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, yeah, I mean it takes a lot of strength.
There are people saying in the text. One says, does
he do have his half of the parenting? If he
doesn't now, he never will. Do you think that's true?
I mean, is it if the effort is there? I mean,
is that what we're looking for. We're looking for the effort.
Even if we.
Speaker 8 (24:50):
Disconnect, You're you're going to put into it what you
want to put into it. So if he's not wanting
to put that effort towards it, then maybe stop and
you know, look at what you are dealing with. But
I mean, it's a fifty to fifty thing, especially when
you have kids and when you're both working. Everyone has
to work now, and if he's not putting toward his
(25:12):
effort and he hasn't, then you kind of need to,
you know, look at that and say, maybe this isn't
worth it.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
She did say his effort is lacking.
Speaker 7 (25:21):
That's what she told me, and she's asked multiple times
she feels like she's putting in more effort for the relationship.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Then yes, well then.
Speaker 8 (25:29):
I mean you can have that conversation with him and
if he doesn't seem to get it, then that would
definitely be something that I would kind of look into
a little bit further.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Well, Katie, thank you for listening, for sharing, and good luck.
Speaker 8 (25:43):
Thank you you too.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Yeah, I have a good day. And again, you know,
if he were unwilling to get any sort of outside help,
be it you know, therapy or faith based or whatever
it is, then you could say, well, maybe he's depressed
or he has some sort of something going on with
him that if that's rectified, then that might improve the situation.
Because sometimes you know, you can get in your own
head to where everything seems daunting and then you're not
(26:04):
really maybe feeling like you're being productive or valuable to anyone.
But it sounds like he's done some of that. So
he has made an effort. I don't know how much,
but it's not as though he's living this way and
then saying why, well, I'm not going to do anything
about it, which we do here sometimes in this thing. Hey, Laurie,
you went through something similar and you say go. We've
(26:26):
had stay and we've had go from people who know this. Unfortunately,
why why go?
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Because he's not going to change.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
And how do we know you can?
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Well, I went through it.
Speaker 9 (26:40):
I hope that when they curse that when the baby came,
he would step up, you know, be there, and he
was sometimes sometimes he was great, and then he would
go back to doing.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
What he wanted to do and not be in there.
And it was fighting, and I to five years to
make it work. But that same thing he'll get you know,
he's gonna step up. He's going to step up. He
was a great guy.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
He's still a great guy.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
We're still friends. We co parented together, but the unhappiness
never went away. We tried, you know, working it out,
and we tried working it out, and he would get
better for a little bit, and then he would just
slide right back into his ways of doing what he
wanted to do. And he was a great husband and
(27:33):
a great father when he wanted to be.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
So no consistence, but I count on him.
Speaker 4 (27:38):
No consistency.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Well, Laurie, I'm sorry, but I appreciate the perspective. Have
a good day too. I'm not sure we've held much
because you get a lot of people who've been through
this calling in and it's about fifty to fifty go,
stay go. I'm looking at all these right now, a
lot a lot of go uh and then a lot
of stay. You've committed almost nine years to this, so
or ten years to this, So you gotta stick with it.
(28:01):
You got to write it out. You've got a lot
of this. Love is not all you need. Uh, Yeah,
there's there's yeah,
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