December 16, 2025 • 26 mins
Jason's nervous about getting his first surgery! Plus, we debate relationship drama on an all new Stay Or Go!
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Yeah, they talk better than the excite. These are the
radio blogs on the Fresh Show, like we're writing in
our diaries, except we say them aloud. We call them blog.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Jason Brown, Yes you ready, I'm ready go, Thank you,
dear blog. So I'm a little nervous Monday. I'm having
my first surgery ever, like being put out under anesthesia
like everything. I have never done this before, but I've
talked about it a little bit. But basically I tore
(00:32):
my miniscus just walking here.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
At the radio station.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, just walking to my desk and felt a pop.
And it's been about six months of going through this.
I was scheduled to have it back in September, but
insurance is always just so fun.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
So basically, haven't you have it?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Haven't you had it scheduled like three times?
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
And then they're like, oh, by the way, insurance isn't
going to pay for that.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Yes, you call me like choot it.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
They call me like two days before and they're like, okay,
so yeah, your doctor is in network, but the building
that he's doing the surgery is not, even though it's
the same building as this office, just two floors up.
So we're not gonna pay for that, I'm like, what
are you talking about.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
So finally done at one of those quick centers literally
at the same time, Yeah, yeah, one of those little
like you know, I don't know what those things are called,
like little rooms and make shift rooms.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I'm like, you know it, really, I'll will go anywhere.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
At this point just to have it done, Like I
just want this to be over with, Like I'm sick
of like walking around like I'm like eighty five years old,
Like I'm just sick of it. But finally I found
a doctor's office that was in network. The lovely, lovely
woman that works there and their medical building looked at
my list of approved locations was able to like sing
stuff up.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
So it's happening on Monday.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
And the thing that I'm most nervous about is like
the recoup time because like how it's torn or whatever,
he won't know until he gets in there, like how
hard it's going to be to repair it. So he
basically said, like you could be up walking in forty
eight hours, or you could be in like one of
those straight leg brace things for six weeks'.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Insurance paid for. It's never done this before, so he's sure,
like he's like once I figure it out, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
We're guessing, right, that's crazy.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
We're in this together.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I'm sorry, you're not going to be able to work.
Jingle Ble, Sacramento. I'm sorry. I'm just I'm drawing the line.
You can know you can't work any more. Jingle Ball,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Unless they give me a scooter or something. But yeah,
so I'm a little nervous. I've never been put out before,
so like, I'm not so nervous. I don't know, Like
I'm not really because in a good sleep, I'm nervous
about waking up because I am chronically nauseous all the time.
Like I'm nauseous all the time. So I have a
feeling like that's going to be really rough for me.
(02:57):
But Mike is closing the gay rash of the day.
He is going to drive me to the hospital to
get it. Time from my parents are taking off for
whatever reason. I was like, we all don't need to
be there staring at me. But like they're taking off.
We're doing the whole big to do. We have three
people just staring at you.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Accepting help from your village, from your your family.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
This is amazing.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I don't have an option. I feel like like no
one needs to having me an option. They're like, we're
just showing up.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
So well, he asked me to He asked me to
shave his entire body from head to because apparently he
believes that he needs to do that. They just share
around the knee, but for some reason he wants he
wants me to wax him from head to and I look,
I heard, I'm part of the village, but like, you know,
I draw the line there.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Do I need to shave my leg?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Oh god, I think I think I think they shame
where they need to be. Oh okay, so you know,
the regents are fine. I have a full body way
exactly exactly he's going to go in there. Uh, you know,
wax and backs are ready to go.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
I know.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Yeah, So I don't know. I'm nervous. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
You got this.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
We'll see how it goes. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I don't I'm such a baby when it comes to
like pain and medical stuff, like I yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
But you've been hobbled by this for as you mentioned,
six months, so it's like, yeah, we got to get
this done.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
At least it's I know it's going to be over right, and.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
All the anticipation of planning and then you know, not
being able to go. Yeah, they scheduled during the pharmacists
lunchtime and then be course they can't do it, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah, you're gonna be good.
Speaker 6 (04:26):
We'll call it anything because you have driven me around
town after my bbls.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
A couple of times leaking vaccine.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Yes, like Jesus has been my bride or I and
now I need to repay him if.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I pay you. She's like leak in my vaccine.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Well we know each other, like Paulina's BBL has been. Uh.
We actually had to move studios because they had to
condemn the old one because her BBL was all over
the place. It's a real thing. Yeah, this is the
Bread Show, James taking over Las Vegas. This Jennuy Worry
for his seven night Residents Adobe be live at Park MGM,
(05:03):
and we've got a trip for two to the January
twenty fifth show to night Hotel State at Park MGM
January twenty fourth through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare.
Text dusk to three seven three three seven now for
a chance to win. A confirmation text will be sent
standard message of data rates may apply. All thanks to
Live Nation, frend show is on its Stay or Go
(05:24):
all right, Jessica, Good morning, Jessica. How are you. I'm good,
How are you doing? Great, Jessica. I've got your your
note here for stay or Go. We're gonna at the
end of this, we're gonna side decide collectively the room
and then everyone listening eight five five five one three
five the trajectory for the rest of your life. Because
I don't know if you knew this, and it's in
(05:45):
the fine print, but like whatever we decide is what
you're gonna have to do with your life. So here
we go. You Unfortunately, we're recently in a car accident
and I'm sorry, but you're okay. You're as okay as
can be now.
Speaker 7 (05:56):
Right, Yeah, you know, it was a year and a
half ago, and I have a bunch of injuries that
you know, I survived. I'm here and I'm really happy
to be alive.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Good. And there's some repercussions though, Like the life is
a little bit different now. You're not maybe moving around
as well as you were a year and a half ago,
and things like that.
Speaker 8 (06:17):
Yeah, of course, you know, I'm not really like able
to walk or really like act like myself. It's not
the same, And you know, I understand that it's kind
of a new version of me and that it would
be hard for.
Speaker 7 (06:31):
Anybody to deal with.
Speaker 8 (06:33):
But my husband has never said anything about that I
kind of look new or that I act a bit different.
But he has been treating me a bit different. He
doesn't really want to have sex with me, and he's
not really romantic.
Speaker 7 (06:48):
He's just kind of different.
Speaker 8 (06:49):
I guess, okay, and everything, you know, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 7 (06:55):
No, no worries.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
I've tried to talk to him about it, and he
keeps assuring me that he and feel differently about me,
and he does say that I'm beautiful, but I don't know,
the actions aren't really saying the same thing and saying
the opposite are.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
The key, like like you're not you're not exercising as much,
or like you sort of form has change? I mean,
what what is what has changed? Exactly?
Speaker 8 (07:22):
Yeah, I used to take classes every single day, different
workout classes, and.
Speaker 9 (07:26):
I'm not really moving as well. So I can take
yoga maybe twice a week, which isn't the same, and
it's I'm not even as good, of course as I
was before, and you know, I used to do so
many things around the house and I can't clean as well,
so I'm not really doing.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
That as well.
Speaker 9 (07:45):
You know, I had to buy like a little robot
that goes around the apartment clean.
Speaker 7 (07:49):
A little bit better.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Okay, And is this permanent? Like is it are you
in the process of I'm just trying to sort of
understand what what life looks like now and and how
y this sort of a permanent change or over time
will you sort of rehab and then maybe be able
to to because I mean, I don't really care what
this guy thinks for yourself. I mean, if you aspire
to be this sounds like fitness and that, you know
(08:11):
sort of thing was something that was important to you
prior you to your accident. So is this something that
you'll be able to get back to or not?
Speaker 7 (08:18):
I think not to the capacity I was doing before.
Speaker 8 (08:20):
And yes I am and rehabit working towards being a
better version of myself is from the accident.
Speaker 9 (08:26):
But I'm not there yet. It's been a year and
a half and it's going to take a bit of time.
And I'm doing my best.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
And so you guys have talked about this. Jessica and
you've said, hey, you know, I've noticed a difference since
the accident, and I feel like maybe you don't. I
h what's the word I would use. I'm not as
appealing to you as I've noticed that. I feel that
you're not as appealing. I'm not as appealing to you
as I was before the accident. And this guy has
reassured you that he doesn't feel any differently, but yet
(08:57):
his actions, you know, as far as intimacy and things
like that's say say something different.
Speaker 8 (09:02):
Yeah, it says something completely different, and you know it's
it's hurtful. And I've tried saying it many, many times,
and he just keeps reassuring me he.
Speaker 7 (09:11):
Feels the same way.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
And so the question becomes like is it is it
always going to be this way or is it something
that he that he adjusts to or does he come around?
Or I mean, is this the new sort of state
of normal in your in your marriage, in which case
you'd have to ask yourself, are we ever going to
have the same connection? And if we're not, then what
does that look like? I assume that's kind of where
you're at.
Speaker 7 (09:34):
Yeah, no, it is.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
What does your gut tell you? Does your gut tell
you that this is that he'll come around, or does
does your gut tell you that he's just not comfortable
with the new normal? And and maybe he sees you
differently despite and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, which
of course it would be devastating for your partner to
say that to you.
Speaker 8 (09:52):
You know, right now it feels like he sees me differently,
which is why I keep asking him, you know how
he feels about me?
Speaker 7 (10:01):
And I need to be reassured. Right now, it.
Speaker 9 (10:04):
Doesn't feel like he sees me in the same way
at all.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
And how long could you go on like this before
you move on?
Speaker 7 (10:15):
I don't know.
Speaker 9 (10:16):
It's hard because he's my husband and I love him,
so it's it's tricky.
Speaker 7 (10:22):
I just I don't feel wanted or loved the way
that I did before.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
So I don't know. And I knew that. I know
that's kind of cliche to say, but I mean, and
from the guy who's never been married, but it isn't
in a relationship, but like you know, you marry someone,
this is supposed to be for life, and yeah, and
you're supposed to know in what is it? They say
in sickness and in health. I mean, so you don't
necessarily marry permanently the person who you married whenever you do,
(10:51):
you know, people obviously, time evolves and people change and
things happen and people age, and I'm sure you know,
maybe he's exactly the same guy as was whenever you
married him. I doubt it. And it's very easy for
all of us to say, well, that's the deal, that's
the code, that's what you agreed to. But I mean,
if we ask ourselves honestly, are we prepared for our
(11:13):
partner to get sicker? Were prepared for our partner to
decide that they don't want to take care of themselves anymore?
Are we prepared for our partner to be in an accident?
Are we truly prepared for that? I wonder, if people
are being really honest, you hope the answer is always yes.
But is it really because you know, who wants to
become And I'm not saying this is your example, but
I mean, who really wants to become a caregiver? Who
(11:33):
really wants to have to do?
Speaker 3 (11:35):
And then?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
But that's what we agreed to. But I guess what
I'm trying to get to is the other side of
this the honest side where it's this, wasn't you know
that he thought he was marrying one thing and now
he feels like he's getting something different and he's having
a hard time with that connection. Now that's a him problem,
not a you problem. But I mean, I think we,
you know, we kind of have to be honest with
(11:56):
ourselves if this is something that could happen in any relationship.
Despite people saying over and over again, stick this it
in health, this is what you're supposed to do, And
so I guess I'm going with this is at what
point do you say this guy is clearly not prepared
for that. He said it, but he doesn't mean it,
and you know he may love you, But I guess
(12:20):
you know, at what point do you say I need
to hit reset on this like this, this guy's not
clearly in it for everything. He's not all in, and
so maybe I need to move on and find somebody
who is. Because you can't be expected to live this
way feeling kind of rejected for the rest of your life.
I mean, how long are you supposed to wait for
this guy to decide that he's above all this?
Speaker 7 (12:42):
I don't know, you know, is it another year? Is
it another couple months.
Speaker 9 (12:49):
I don't know.
Speaker 8 (12:51):
It's hard because you know, if I was in his position,
of course, I think i'd be acting differently.
Speaker 7 (12:58):
But I don't know, and.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
You don't suspect that there's any shenanigans going on, like
he may be in another situation.
Speaker 8 (13:06):
Oh okay, I mean he's he's like word wise, he's
really been there for me.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
You know, he.
Speaker 8 (13:13):
Always says that I'm beautiful and is very loving in words,
but the actions are not really there.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Yeah, this is really sad, and I'm really sorry that
you guys are going through this. And I feel like,
to a friend's point, like, yeah, maybe he's not prepared,
but is anybody ever prepared for a transition like this
in life when you become the caregiver, whether it's to
your partner, an aging parent, even your children. Like this
can happen to anybody, so nobody's exempt from any of this.
So I do think that he needs to step it
(13:43):
up and be the husband that he promised to be
when he said right through sickness and through health. And yes,
not everybody's equipped to be that, I understand, but we
that's chosen family. Right when you marry somebody it's chosen family,
like we are now a unit.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
So like I feel like.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Well, that's what I mean. I mean people say this,
but are they really prepared by the way, you know,
And I don't know your situation completely, Jessica, but like
I mean, you're you're you're mobile, you're still you're exercising,
you're working at it, you're trying to be your best self.
You're limited in certain ways. I mean, it could be
so much worse. People deal with much worse every single day,
And I guess I just wonder, you know, maybe there's
(14:19):
a transition period where he sort of mourns what used
to be, but then then you step it up and
you go, okay, no, it's I married more than this.
It was. It's it's deeper than that. And it sounds
like maybe he didn't. I mean, a year and a
half is a long time to wait for someone to
uh for you to feel wanted again, and you deserve
to feel wanted. So I don't know, maybe that's the conversation,
(14:42):
you know, maybe it's And I would love to know
what people have been through this or you know, after
pregnancy or or or or you know, and I get
to tell all about women. You know, maybe a guy
went through an accident and he was, you know, very
physically fit, and then now he's not as much. Or
maybe maybe people just lose the energy or the will,
or they get busy and they don't prioritize things that
were once important to them, that people once found attractive.
(15:03):
But I guess at what point do you sit down
and say, look, I you know, you say that you
care about me the same way, but it doesn't feel
that way. And if it's never going to feel that
way again, then you know, maybe maybe our connection is lost.
And that's very very sad, but that may be the reality.
I mean, is it Is it something worth talking about
in those terms?
Speaker 8 (15:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I mean.
Speaker 7 (15:29):
I've spoken to him about these terms. But I think
it's about putting a timeline. Don't you think about when
when it starts to affect.
Speaker 9 (15:40):
Me that I can't be in this or do this
anymore where I feel unwanted for this long?
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Well, the timeline is yours. By the way I started
interrupt you, the timeline is yours. To make like you
can't really go to him and be like, hey, I'll
tell you, I give you six months to get your
act together. And remember the person you married, and that
and the person inside of here or else. I mean,
I think you have to decide at some point do
you think he's ever going to come around? And if not,
you know, you obviously still bring a tremendous amount of
value to the world. You're the same exact person that
(16:07):
he married, So off we go.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
I think they should try counseling.
Speaker 6 (16:14):
I don't think she should give up on him, because
the way that she said, he's still speaking to her
and he's still you know, telling her she's beautiful. Maybe
he's just going through a mental transition of trying to
find his footing in you all's new reality. Like you know,
when once something happens to your partner, that changes you too.
So maybe he's just going through a rough time, and
I may I think maybe you guys can work it
(16:34):
out in counseling.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I don't.
Speaker 6 (16:35):
I don't want to tell you throw your marriage away.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
No, I definitely think maybe there's a different Maybe some
help with the communication would be good. But yeah, but
I mean, if he's not. A year and a half
is a long time for a guy to tell you
one thing and act differently. Sure, So yeah, Jess, let
me take some phone calls on this. I want to
see what people have to say, but I wish you
the best.
Speaker 9 (16:52):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Yeah, that's hard. I mean again, you know, people say,
oh yeah, I'm in it for the long haul, I'm
in it for whatever it is. And then but then
it's sometimes you realize, well, now this, maybe they're not
in fact, And then and then I think, is it
wrong to say, Okay, well you're not the you weren't
actually in this for sickness in and hell, so we
got to move on. I gotta do something else. I
got to find somebody who values this version of me.
I thought it was you. But it's not tough because
(17:15):
otherwise you just live your whole life, the rest of
your life like this. I mean, if you tried everything,
is there any shame in prioritizing yourself? I mean maybe
they're shame on his side because well he didn't live
up to his end of the deal. But hey, Holly, yes, hi, Holly, Hey,
good morning. Say or go what do you think?
Speaker 10 (17:35):
I think? Definitely say it sounds a lot like my
husband when I had gone through cancer chemo radiation, and
I told him that I'm you know, felt comfortable being
intimate but he was so afraid of not wanting to
hurt me, not wanting me to feelcomfortable, not wanting me
to feel pressured. And it just sounds like he's very
(17:57):
supportive of her and these are the bumps in the world.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
That we go through in a marriage.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Yeah, yeah, but do you think but that's I guess
That's what I'm getting at, is that's what you think,
and that's what you hope your partner thinks when they
agree to be with you for life. But do you
think that at this rate, that's really the commitment that like,
do you think that's really where his head is?
Speaker 10 (18:20):
I do from just hearing.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
What she's saying about him being so supportive. I don't
think we have a right to tell anybody, you know,
what to do with their bodies and how to change.
And I think that it.
Speaker 9 (18:34):
Does sound like he is willing, you.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
Know, to be there through thick and thin and talk
to her about it. And I do feel sorry for
her that she feels it that's a certain way, But
I hope that she can get a little bit of
comfort maybe thinking that that's how he's feeling.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Yeah, I guess just a year and a half of
words and actions that don't match the words. That's that's
a long time to wonder if he's going to come around,
if he's going to accept the new normal. So I
don't know how I mean to use it. A year
and a half? Is it two years? Is it three?
Is it five? Is it ten? It is it? We
married each other. So if the if the intimacy aspect
(19:13):
of this relationship has now fundamentally changed, it doesn't matter.
We just stick with it. Like I guess, that's my question.
I don't know, you know, So Holly, thank you, and
I'm sorry you've been through that. Yeah, final thought, no,
final thought, go ahead.
Speaker 10 (19:25):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
No, I do I know. So, I do know that
it's a long time. I just want to know that
I have been there. It was quite a while, but
again it was just on his side mostly, and so
I'm sorry that she's going through it. And I thank
you guys.
Speaker 10 (19:42):
I love you.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
I will listen to you every day.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Thank you very much. Have a good day.
Speaker 5 (19:46):
Thanks you too.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Glad you called. Michelle. Hi, Michelle, good morning, goodnring. Hey Michelle.
So just to recap here, if you're just tuning in
this woman Jessica in sergo. She an accident, and it
sounds like she's I mean, she's not completely immobile by
any means, but she's sort of not the version of
herself sounds like physically that she was prior to the accident.
(20:10):
She's working at it, but she feels kind of rejected
by her partner now and he says that he doesn't
feel any differently, but his actions don't back that up.
And it's been a year and a half of this
and they have had the conversations and they've tried to
work through it, but it's not changing. You know, what
do you do?
Speaker 11 (20:27):
You know, I've been married now twenty seven years, and
that's kind of what marriage is. You're going to have
those ups and downs. Those ups and downs might last
a couple of years, but it's not I mean, it's
a matter if you're in it for the long run.
And it really really sounded to me like she's carrying baggage,
(20:48):
that she's feeling less of herself and she might be
putting that on him. I think they should go talk
to somebody, But I don't think that's why you walk away.
I mean, when you see these couples that have been
married sixty years, you don't think they've had their stuff,
and I'm my husband and I have had our stuff
(21:11):
and we're finally, twenty seven years later, getting to the
other side, I hope, with that rainbow and where it's
just like fabulous.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
So that's an interesting perspective because a year and a
half that was like a long time, But then when
you think of it over the course of a lifetime,
a year and a half is nothing, I guess. But
that's the thing that that's what we're trying to get
to here, and of course we're not dumb radio people
going to figure it out. But it's like, you know,
in five years, if nothing changes and you saw the signs,
then is it like, well, I maybe maybe this isn't
(21:41):
the guy that I thought I married. Maybe he's not
actually committed the way that I thought he was, and
so we probably should have moved on a while ago.
You know. I guess it's how do you know, Michelle,
And I guess what you're saying is you don't necessarily know,
but hey, we made this commitment, so we're going to
stick with it forever. Yeah, that's a good question.
Speaker 11 (21:58):
Yeah, I mean, it's just that's kind of what you
signed up for. I mean, I guess that's how I
view it. It's you know, and you know, maybe they
don't have kids. You know, maybe it's not complicated as complicated.
I have four kids, so you know, maybe it's not
that complicated without kids, but with kids, Yeah, now I
(22:18):
think that's good. It's part of what when you see
the people that have been married sixty years and you say,
you know, what's they have secret sauce. It's like it's
times like this when you have much rough patches, that
that's the secret sauce.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, thank you, Michelle, have a good day.
Speaker 10 (22:35):
I love you guys, Hey love.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
You to when she makes you a good point. My
grandparents are married for almost seventy years. It's like, you're
gonna tell me, in seventy years, there weren't you know,
lots of the health issues.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
There was a decade.
Speaker 6 (22:44):
Granny probably was like.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
But but do we even still have those same like
and again this is now this is getting even like
more deep. But do we even still have those same
values anymore? Like? Is that even? Is that? And I
guess that's what I was getting at prior is are
people really getting married anymore? Truly thinking in their head.
No matter what happens, this is for life, because if
that's not your mentality, then what Michelle is saying doesn't
(23:10):
really matter because that person isn't isn't feeling the same thing,
like they don't see it the same way. They're already out,
and so this is just not to hurt her feelings.
This is almost to make it her idea, you know,
so to assuage some form of guilty. Rachel, Rachel, who
(23:31):
are you talking to?
Speaker 7 (23:34):
I'm talking to like three people.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Because I was I'm going to listen to your you know,
external dialogue there. But I can think I came in
mid sentence, what did you want to say? Good morning?
And welcome.
Speaker 10 (23:48):
Good morning?
Speaker 12 (23:49):
I was just saying he is in caregiving mode right
now on that part of his brain is just turned off.
He's obviously in love with her and wants to take
care of her. They need to see an intimacy therapist.
And to put it lightly, I think she in that
intimacy department needs to take things into her own hands and.
Speaker 10 (24:14):
Make some purchases.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Purchases. Oh, oh, okay, all right, we can leave it there. Purchases.
I think I think we can fill in the blank
on that one, So she needs to sort of maybe
she needs to make you're saying she used to spice
things up in some ways maybe see.
Speaker 12 (24:34):
Yeah, And honestly, they really do need to see a
sex therapist because.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I don't put this all on her at all, Like
maybe partially, I mean, maybe she's emitting or emoting some
kind of you know, feeling of insecurity, which is unattractive,
but like you know, it's also his job to sort
of meet her where she is. If in fact we're
doing this whole lifelong thing, this is on.
Speaker 12 (24:53):
Her at all. I do not think this is on
her at all. He has that part of his brain
has just turned off because of whatever she went through.
It was trauma, and he's been through trauma too, right,
watching her get better and watching her body possibly be
broken in places he doesn't want to hurt her, and
(25:13):
he's in mommy mode. He is taking care of her,
and it's sometimes hard to turn that part of your
brain back on.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Yeah, that makes sense, Thank you, Rachel, have a good
damn glad you called. Yep, it's just so hard to know,
and everyone's saying stay like all the text, all the things,
it's just so hard to know. Like Is this a
phase or is the switch off? I think only time
will tell.
Speaker 6 (25:37):
I think if you're in a marriage, got to you
gotta kind of go through it first before you make
such this hard decision which you would be leaving.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Because I mean, you know, maybe he's like, if I
just sort of stick around and try not to hurt
her feelings, then that's better than admitting to myself and
to the world that I don't like the new version
of her and I want out, because then that makes
you the bad guy. So you know, that's that would
be My biggest concern is like, are you hanging on
like you you love me or maybe you're in love
(26:07):
with me, but like, are you still attracted to me?
And if you're not, how long do we play that game?
Speaker 9 (26:11):
Right?
Speaker 6 (26:11):
But explore, I say, explore all options before you make
that decision.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Purchases, yes, purchase purchases
Yeah, they talk better than the excite. These are the
radio blogs on the Fresh Show, like we're writing in
our diaries, except we say them aloud. We call them blog.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Jason Brown, Yes you ready, I'm ready go, Thank you,
dear blog. So I'm a little nervous Monday. I'm having
my first surgery ever, like being put out under anesthesia
like everything. I have never done this before, but I've
talked about it a little bit. But basically I tore
(00:32):
my miniscus just walking here.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
At the radio station.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, just walking to my desk and felt a pop.
And it's been about six months of going through this.
I was scheduled to have it back in September, but
insurance is always just so fun.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
So basically, haven't you have it?
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Haven't you had it scheduled like three times?
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
And then they're like, oh, by the way, insurance isn't
going to pay for that.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
Yes, you call me like choot it.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
They call me like two days before and they're like, okay,
so yeah, your doctor is in network, but the building
that he's doing the surgery is not, even though it's
the same building as this office, just two floors up.
So we're not gonna pay for that, I'm like, what
are you talking about.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
So finally done at one of those quick centers literally
at the same time, Yeah, yeah, one of those little
like you know, I don't know what those things are called,
like little rooms and make shift rooms.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I'm like, you know it, really, I'll will go anywhere.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
At this point just to have it done, Like I
just want this to be over with, Like I'm sick
of like walking around like I'm like eighty five years old,
Like I'm just sick of it. But finally I found
a doctor's office that was in network. The lovely, lovely
woman that works there and their medical building looked at
my list of approved locations was able to like sing
stuff up.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
So it's happening on Monday.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
And the thing that I'm most nervous about is like
the recoup time because like how it's torn or whatever,
he won't know until he gets in there, like how
hard it's going to be to repair it. So he
basically said, like you could be up walking in forty
eight hours, or you could be in like one of
those straight leg brace things for six weeks'.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Insurance paid for. It's never done this before, so he's sure,
like he's like once I figure it out, right, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
We're guessing, right, that's crazy.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
We're in this together.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I'm sorry, you're not going to be able to work.
Jingle Ble, Sacramento. I'm sorry. I'm just I'm drawing the line.
You can know you can't work any more. Jingle Ball,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Unless they give me a scooter or something. But yeah,
so I'm a little nervous. I've never been put out before,
so like, I'm not so nervous. I don't know, Like
I'm not really because in a good sleep, I'm nervous
about waking up because I am chronically nauseous all the time.
Like I'm nauseous all the time. So I have a
feeling like that's going to be really rough for me.
(02:57):
But Mike is closing the gay rash of the day.
He is going to drive me to the hospital to
get it. Time from my parents are taking off for
whatever reason. I was like, we all don't need to
be there staring at me. But like they're taking off.
We're doing the whole big to do. We have three
people just staring at you.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
Accepting help from your village, from your your family.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
This is amazing.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I don't have an option. I feel like like no
one needs to having me an option. They're like, we're
just showing up.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
So well, he asked me to He asked me to
shave his entire body from head to because apparently he
believes that he needs to do that. They just share
around the knee, but for some reason he wants he
wants me to wax him from head to and I look,
I heard, I'm part of the village, but like, you know,
I draw the line there.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Do I need to shave my leg?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Oh god, I think I think I think they shame
where they need to be. Oh okay, so you know,
the regents are fine. I have a full body way
exactly exactly he's going to go in there. Uh, you know,
wax and backs are ready to go.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
I know.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Yeah, So I don't know. I'm nervous. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
You got this.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
We'll see how it goes. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I don't I'm such a baby when it comes to
like pain and medical stuff, like I yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
But you've been hobbled by this for as you mentioned,
six months, so it's like, yeah, we got to get
this done.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
At least it's I know it's going to be over right, and.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
All the anticipation of planning and then you know, not
being able to go. Yeah, they scheduled during the pharmacists
lunchtime and then be course they can't do it, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yeah, you're gonna be good.
Speaker 6 (04:26):
We'll call it anything because you have driven me around
town after my bbls.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
A couple of times leaking vaccine.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
Yes, like Jesus has been my bride or I and
now I need to repay him if.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
I pay you. She's like leak in my vaccine.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Well we know each other, like Paulina's BBL has been. Uh.
We actually had to move studios because they had to
condemn the old one because her BBL was all over
the place. It's a real thing. Yeah, this is the
Bread Show, James taking over Las Vegas. This Jennuy Worry
for his seven night Residents Adobe be live at Park MGM,
(05:03):
and we've got a trip for two to the January
twenty fifth show to night Hotel State at Park MGM
January twenty fourth through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare.
Text dusk to three seven three three seven now for
a chance to win. A confirmation text will be sent
standard message of data rates may apply. All thanks to
Live Nation, frend show is on its Stay or Go
(05:24):
all right, Jessica, Good morning, Jessica. How are you. I'm good,
How are you doing? Great, Jessica. I've got your your
note here for stay or Go. We're gonna at the
end of this, we're gonna side decide collectively the room
and then everyone listening eight five five five one three
five the trajectory for the rest of your life. Because
I don't know if you knew this, and it's in
(05:45):
the fine print, but like whatever we decide is what
you're gonna have to do with your life. So here
we go. You Unfortunately, we're recently in a car accident
and I'm sorry, but you're okay. You're as okay as
can be now.
Speaker 7 (05:56):
Right, Yeah, you know, it was a year and a
half ago, and I have a bunch of injuries that
you know, I survived. I'm here and I'm really happy
to be alive.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Good. And there's some repercussions though, Like the life is
a little bit different now. You're not maybe moving around
as well as you were a year and a half ago,
and things like that.
Speaker 8 (06:17):
Yeah, of course, you know, I'm not really like able
to walk or really like act like myself. It's not
the same, And you know, I understand that it's kind
of a new version of me and that it would
be hard for.
Speaker 7 (06:31):
Anybody to deal with.
Speaker 8 (06:33):
But my husband has never said anything about that I
kind of look new or that I act a bit different.
But he has been treating me a bit different. He
doesn't really want to have sex with me, and he's
not really romantic.
Speaker 7 (06:48):
He's just kind of different.
Speaker 8 (06:49):
I guess, okay, and everything, you know, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 7 (06:55):
No, no worries.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
I've tried to talk to him about it, and he
keeps assuring me that he and feel differently about me,
and he does say that I'm beautiful, but I don't know,
the actions aren't really saying the same thing and saying
the opposite are.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
The key, like like you're not you're not exercising as much,
or like you sort of form has change? I mean,
what what is what has changed? Exactly?
Speaker 8 (07:22):
Yeah, I used to take classes every single day, different
workout classes, and.
Speaker 9 (07:26):
I'm not really moving as well. So I can take
yoga maybe twice a week, which isn't the same, and
it's I'm not even as good, of course as I
was before, and you know, I used to do so
many things around the house and I can't clean as well,
so I'm not really doing.
Speaker 7 (07:44):
That as well.
Speaker 9 (07:45):
You know, I had to buy like a little robot
that goes around the apartment clean.
Speaker 7 (07:49):
A little bit better.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Okay, And is this permanent? Like is it are you
in the process of I'm just trying to sort of
understand what what life looks like now and and how
y this sort of a permanent change or over time
will you sort of rehab and then maybe be able
to to because I mean, I don't really care what
this guy thinks for yourself. I mean, if you aspire
to be this sounds like fitness and that, you know
(08:11):
sort of thing was something that was important to you
prior you to your accident. So is this something that
you'll be able to get back to or not?
Speaker 7 (08:18):
I think not to the capacity I was doing before.
Speaker 8 (08:20):
And yes I am and rehabit working towards being a
better version of myself is from the accident.
Speaker 9 (08:26):
But I'm not there yet. It's been a year and
a half and it's going to take a bit of time.
And I'm doing my best.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
And so you guys have talked about this. Jessica and
you've said, hey, you know, I've noticed a difference since
the accident, and I feel like maybe you don't. I
h what's the word I would use. I'm not as
appealing to you as I've noticed that. I feel that
you're not as appealing. I'm not as appealing to you
as I was before the accident. And this guy has
reassured you that he doesn't feel any differently, but yet
(08:57):
his actions, you know, as far as intimacy and things
like that's say say something different.
Speaker 8 (09:02):
Yeah, it says something completely different, and you know it's
it's hurtful. And I've tried saying it many, many times,
and he just keeps reassuring me he.
Speaker 7 (09:11):
Feels the same way.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
And so the question becomes like is it is it
always going to be this way or is it something
that he that he adjusts to or does he come around?
Or I mean, is this the new sort of state
of normal in your in your marriage, in which case
you'd have to ask yourself, are we ever going to
have the same connection? And if we're not, then what
does that look like? I assume that's kind of where
you're at.
Speaker 7 (09:34):
Yeah, no, it is.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
What does your gut tell you? Does your gut tell
you that this is that he'll come around, or does
does your gut tell you that he's just not comfortable
with the new normal? And and maybe he sees you
differently despite and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, which
of course it would be devastating for your partner to
say that to you.
Speaker 8 (09:52):
You know, right now it feels like he sees me differently,
which is why I keep asking him, you know how
he feels about me?
Speaker 7 (10:01):
And I need to be reassured. Right now, it.
Speaker 9 (10:04):
Doesn't feel like he sees me in the same way
at all.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
And how long could you go on like this before
you move on?
Speaker 7 (10:15):
I don't know.
Speaker 9 (10:16):
It's hard because he's my husband and I love him,
so it's it's tricky.
Speaker 7 (10:22):
I just I don't feel wanted or loved the way
that I did before.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
So I don't know. And I knew that. I know
that's kind of cliche to say, but I mean, and
from the guy who's never been married, but it isn't
in a relationship, but like you know, you marry someone,
this is supposed to be for life, and yeah, and
you're supposed to know in what is it? They say
in sickness and in health. I mean, so you don't
necessarily marry permanently the person who you married whenever you do,
(10:51):
you know, people obviously, time evolves and people change and
things happen and people age, and I'm sure you know,
maybe he's exactly the same guy as was whenever you
married him. I doubt it. And it's very easy for
all of us to say, well, that's the deal, that's
the code, that's what you agreed to. But I mean,
if we ask ourselves honestly, are we prepared for our
(11:13):
partner to get sicker? Were prepared for our partner to
decide that they don't want to take care of themselves anymore?
Are we prepared for our partner to be in an accident?
Are we truly prepared for that? I wonder, if people
are being really honest, you hope the answer is always yes.
But is it really because you know, who wants to
become And I'm not saying this is your example, but
I mean, who really wants to become a caregiver? Who
(11:33):
really wants to have to do?
Speaker 3 (11:35):
And then?
Speaker 1 (11:35):
But that's what we agreed to. But I guess what
I'm trying to get to is the other side of
this the honest side where it's this, wasn't you know
that he thought he was marrying one thing and now
he feels like he's getting something different and he's having
a hard time with that connection. Now that's a him problem,
not a you problem. But I mean, I think we,
you know, we kind of have to be honest with
(11:56):
ourselves if this is something that could happen in any relationship.
Despite people saying over and over again, stick this it
in health, this is what you're supposed to do, And
so I guess I'm going with this is at what
point do you say this guy is clearly not prepared
for that. He said it, but he doesn't mean it,
and you know he may love you, But I guess
(12:20):
you know, at what point do you say I need
to hit reset on this like this, this guy's not
clearly in it for everything. He's not all in, and
so maybe I need to move on and find somebody
who is. Because you can't be expected to live this
way feeling kind of rejected for the rest of your life.
I mean, how long are you supposed to wait for
this guy to decide that he's above all this?
Speaker 7 (12:42):
I don't know, you know, is it another year? Is
it another couple months.
Speaker 9 (12:49):
I don't know.
Speaker 8 (12:51):
It's hard because you know, if I was in his position,
of course, I think i'd be acting differently.
Speaker 7 (12:58):
But I don't know, and.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
You don't suspect that there's any shenanigans going on, like
he may be in another situation.
Speaker 8 (13:06):
Oh okay, I mean he's he's like word wise, he's
really been there for me.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
You know, he.
Speaker 8 (13:13):
Always says that I'm beautiful and is very loving in words,
but the actions are not really there.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Yeah, this is really sad, and I'm really sorry that
you guys are going through this. And I feel like,
to a friend's point, like, yeah, maybe he's not prepared,
but is anybody ever prepared for a transition like this
in life when you become the caregiver, whether it's to
your partner, an aging parent, even your children. Like this
can happen to anybody, so nobody's exempt from any of this.
So I do think that he needs to step it
(13:43):
up and be the husband that he promised to be
when he said right through sickness and through health. And yes,
not everybody's equipped to be that, I understand, but we
that's chosen family. Right when you marry somebody it's chosen family,
like we are now a unit.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
So like I feel like.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Well, that's what I mean. I mean people say this,
but are they really prepared by the way, you know,
And I don't know your situation completely, Jessica, but like
I mean, you're you're you're mobile, you're still you're exercising,
you're working at it, you're trying to be your best self.
You're limited in certain ways. I mean, it could be
so much worse. People deal with much worse every single day,
And I guess I just wonder, you know, maybe there's
(14:19):
a transition period where he sort of mourns what used
to be, but then then you step it up and
you go, okay, no, it's I married more than this.
It was. It's it's deeper than that. And it sounds
like maybe he didn't. I mean, a year and a
half is a long time to wait for someone to
uh for you to feel wanted again, and you deserve
to feel wanted. So I don't know, maybe that's the conversation,
(14:42):
you know, maybe it's And I would love to know
what people have been through this or you know, after
pregnancy or or or or you know, and I get
to tell all about women. You know, maybe a guy
went through an accident and he was, you know, very
physically fit, and then now he's not as much. Or
maybe maybe people just lose the energy or the will,
or they get busy and they don't prioritize things that
were once important to them, that people once found attractive.
(15:03):
But I guess at what point do you sit down
and say, look, I you know, you say that you
care about me the same way, but it doesn't feel
that way. And if it's never going to feel that
way again, then you know, maybe maybe our connection is lost.
And that's very very sad, but that may be the reality.
I mean, is it Is it something worth talking about
in those terms?
Speaker 8 (15:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
I mean.
Speaker 7 (15:29):
I've spoken to him about these terms. But I think
it's about putting a timeline. Don't you think about when
when it starts to affect.
Speaker 9 (15:40):
Me that I can't be in this or do this
anymore where I feel unwanted for this long?
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Well, the timeline is yours. By the way I started
interrupt you, the timeline is yours. To make like you
can't really go to him and be like, hey, I'll
tell you, I give you six months to get your
act together. And remember the person you married, and that
and the person inside of here or else. I mean,
I think you have to decide at some point do
you think he's ever going to come around? And if not,
you know, you obviously still bring a tremendous amount of
value to the world. You're the same exact person that
(16:07):
he married, So off we go.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
I think they should try counseling.
Speaker 6 (16:14):
I don't think she should give up on him, because
the way that she said, he's still speaking to her
and he's still you know, telling her she's beautiful. Maybe
he's just going through a mental transition of trying to
find his footing in you all's new reality. Like you know,
when once something happens to your partner, that changes you too.
So maybe he's just going through a rough time, and
I may I think maybe you guys can work it
(16:34):
out in counseling.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I don't.
Speaker 6 (16:35):
I don't want to tell you throw your marriage away.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
No, I definitely think maybe there's a different Maybe some
help with the communication would be good. But yeah, but
I mean, if he's not. A year and a half
is a long time for a guy to tell you
one thing and act differently. Sure, So yeah, Jess, let
me take some phone calls on this. I want to
see what people have to say, but I wish you
the best.
Speaker 9 (16:52):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Yeah, that's hard. I mean again, you know, people say,
oh yeah, I'm in it for the long haul, I'm
in it for whatever it is. And then but then
it's sometimes you realize, well, now this, maybe they're not
in fact, And then and then I think, is it
wrong to say, Okay, well you're not the you weren't
actually in this for sickness in and hell, so we
got to move on. I gotta do something else. I
got to find somebody who values this version of me.
I thought it was you. But it's not tough because
(17:15):
otherwise you just live your whole life, the rest of
your life like this. I mean, if you tried everything,
is there any shame in prioritizing yourself? I mean maybe
they're shame on his side because well he didn't live
up to his end of the deal. But hey, Holly, yes, hi, Holly, Hey,
good morning. Say or go what do you think?
Speaker 10 (17:35):
I think? Definitely say it sounds a lot like my
husband when I had gone through cancer chemo radiation, and
I told him that I'm you know, felt comfortable being
intimate but he was so afraid of not wanting to
hurt me, not wanting me to feelcomfortable, not wanting me
to feel pressured. And it just sounds like he's very
(17:57):
supportive of her and these are the bumps in the world.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
That we go through in a marriage.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Yeah, yeah, but do you think but that's I guess
That's what I'm getting at, is that's what you think,
and that's what you hope your partner thinks when they
agree to be with you for life. But do you
think that at this rate, that's really the commitment that like,
do you think that's really where his head is?
Speaker 10 (18:20):
I do from just hearing.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
What she's saying about him being so supportive. I don't
think we have a right to tell anybody, you know,
what to do with their bodies and how to change.
And I think that it.
Speaker 9 (18:34):
Does sound like he is willing, you.
Speaker 5 (18:36):
Know, to be there through thick and thin and talk
to her about it. And I do feel sorry for
her that she feels it that's a certain way, But
I hope that she can get a little bit of
comfort maybe thinking that that's how he's feeling.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Yeah, I guess just a year and a half of
words and actions that don't match the words. That's that's
a long time to wonder if he's going to come around,
if he's going to accept the new normal. So I
don't know how I mean to use it. A year
and a half? Is it two years? Is it three?
Is it five? Is it ten? It is it? We
married each other. So if the if the intimacy aspect
(19:13):
of this relationship has now fundamentally changed, it doesn't matter.
We just stick with it. Like I guess, that's my question.
I don't know, you know, So Holly, thank you, and
I'm sorry you've been through that. Yeah, final thought, no,
final thought, go ahead.
Speaker 10 (19:25):
I appreciate that.
Speaker 5 (19:26):
No, I do I know. So, I do know that
it's a long time. I just want to know that
I have been there. It was quite a while, but
again it was just on his side mostly, and so
I'm sorry that she's going through it. And I thank
you guys.
Speaker 10 (19:42):
I love you.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
I will listen to you every day.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Thank you very much. Have a good day.
Speaker 5 (19:46):
Thanks you too.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
Glad you called. Michelle. Hi, Michelle, good morning, goodnring. Hey Michelle.
So just to recap here, if you're just tuning in
this woman Jessica in sergo. She an accident, and it
sounds like she's I mean, she's not completely immobile by
any means, but she's sort of not the version of
herself sounds like physically that she was prior to the accident.
(20:10):
She's working at it, but she feels kind of rejected
by her partner now and he says that he doesn't
feel any differently, but his actions don't back that up.
And it's been a year and a half of this
and they have had the conversations and they've tried to
work through it, but it's not changing. You know, what
do you do?
Speaker 11 (20:27):
You know, I've been married now twenty seven years, and
that's kind of what marriage is. You're going to have
those ups and downs. Those ups and downs might last
a couple of years, but it's not I mean, it's
a matter if you're in it for the long run.
And it really really sounded to me like she's carrying baggage,
(20:48):
that she's feeling less of herself and she might be
putting that on him. I think they should go talk
to somebody, But I don't think that's why you walk away.
I mean, when you see these couples that have been
married sixty years, you don't think they've had their stuff,
and I'm my husband and I have had our stuff
(21:11):
and we're finally, twenty seven years later, getting to the
other side, I hope, with that rainbow and where it's
just like fabulous.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
So that's an interesting perspective because a year and a
half that was like a long time, But then when
you think of it over the course of a lifetime,
a year and a half is nothing, I guess. But
that's the thing that that's what we're trying to get
to here, and of course we're not dumb radio people
going to figure it out. But it's like, you know,
in five years, if nothing changes and you saw the signs,
then is it like, well, I maybe maybe this isn't
(21:41):
the guy that I thought I married. Maybe he's not
actually committed the way that I thought he was, and
so we probably should have moved on a while ago.
You know. I guess it's how do you know, Michelle,
And I guess what you're saying is you don't necessarily know,
but hey, we made this commitment, so we're going to
stick with it forever. Yeah, that's a good question.
Speaker 11 (21:58):
Yeah, I mean, it's just that's kind of what you
signed up for. I mean, I guess that's how I
view it. It's you know, and you know, maybe they
don't have kids. You know, maybe it's not complicated as complicated.
I have four kids, so you know, maybe it's not
that complicated without kids, but with kids, Yeah, now I
(22:18):
think that's good. It's part of what when you see
the people that have been married sixty years and you say,
you know, what's they have secret sauce. It's like it's
times like this when you have much rough patches, that
that's the secret sauce.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, thank you, Michelle, have a good day.
Speaker 10 (22:35):
I love you guys, Hey love.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
You to when she makes you a good point. My
grandparents are married for almost seventy years. It's like, you're
gonna tell me, in seventy years, there weren't you know,
lots of the health issues.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
There was a decade.
Speaker 6 (22:44):
Granny probably was like.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
But but do we even still have those same like
and again this is now this is getting even like
more deep. But do we even still have those same
values anymore? Like? Is that even? Is that? And I
guess that's what I was getting at prior is are
people really getting married anymore? Truly thinking in their head.
No matter what happens, this is for life, because if
that's not your mentality, then what Michelle is saying doesn't
(23:10):
really matter because that person isn't isn't feeling the same thing,
like they don't see it the same way. They're already out,
and so this is just not to hurt her feelings.
This is almost to make it her idea, you know,
so to assuage some form of guilty. Rachel, Rachel, who
(23:31):
are you talking to?
Speaker 7 (23:34):
I'm talking to like three people.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Because I was I'm going to listen to your you know,
external dialogue there. But I can think I came in
mid sentence, what did you want to say? Good morning?
And welcome.
Speaker 10 (23:48):
Good morning?
Speaker 12 (23:49):
I was just saying he is in caregiving mode right
now on that part of his brain is just turned off.
He's obviously in love with her and wants to take
care of her. They need to see an intimacy therapist.
And to put it lightly, I think she in that
intimacy department needs to take things into her own hands and.
Speaker 10 (24:14):
Make some purchases.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Purchases. Oh, oh, okay, all right, we can leave it there. Purchases.
I think I think we can fill in the blank
on that one, So she needs to sort of maybe
she needs to make you're saying she used to spice
things up in some ways maybe see.
Speaker 12 (24:34):
Yeah, And honestly, they really do need to see a
sex therapist because.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I don't put this all on her at all, Like
maybe partially, I mean, maybe she's emitting or emoting some
kind of you know, feeling of insecurity, which is unattractive,
but like you know, it's also his job to sort
of meet her where she is. If in fact we're
doing this whole lifelong thing, this is on.
Speaker 12 (24:53):
Her at all. I do not think this is on
her at all. He has that part of his brain
has just turned off because of whatever she went through.
It was trauma, and he's been through trauma too, right,
watching her get better and watching her body possibly be
broken in places he doesn't want to hurt her, and
(25:13):
he's in mommy mode. He is taking care of her,
and it's sometimes hard to turn that part of your
brain back on.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Yeah, that makes sense, Thank you, Rachel, have a good
damn glad you called. Yep, it's just so hard to know,
and everyone's saying stay like all the text, all the things,
it's just so hard to know. Like Is this a
phase or is the switch off? I think only time
will tell.
Speaker 6 (25:37):
I think if you're in a marriage, got to you
gotta kind of go through it first before you make
such this hard decision which you would be leaving.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Because I mean, you know, maybe he's like, if I
just sort of stick around and try not to hurt
her feelings, then that's better than admitting to myself and
to the world that I don't like the new version
of her and I want out, because then that makes
you the bad guy. So you know, that's that would
be My biggest concern is like, are you hanging on
like you you love me or maybe you're in love
(26:07):
with me, but like, are you still attracted to me?
And if you're not, how long do we play that game?
Speaker 9 (26:11):
Right?
Speaker 6 (26:11):
But explore, I say, explore all options before you make
that decision.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Purchases, yes, purchase purchases
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