Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Order a fresh show. It's Geeky's cord and it goes
new segment alert. I swear I'm not high, but no,
it's been a segment. Thank you. No, it's been one
for some time, but welcome if you're new to the thing.
A lot of people are worried about the bugs. Several
of my personal friends have texted me and said, no,
that's it's valid, like the culture shock for these bugs.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You know, you land and you're like, where am I?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
And then also, I don't know how many things we
screwed up in that last segment factually, but the cat's
name is Oliver, or the due's name is Oliver, the
cat's name is Phoenix. It doesn't matter. You knew what
I was talking about. Thank you for correcting me, and
I'm fine with that. But everyone knew I was talking
about doing it in a boat. Okay, you quit his job.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I think about this fantasy all the time. I do,
I really do.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I think about like because it's radio, and they'll one
day they'll build make me get up at four in
the morning, come in here, do a show, and then
when I walk out, they'll be standing there and they'll say,
you know, it's been nice. You can get the hell
out of here. It's radio.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
It will happen.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, yeah, Unfortunately, it's the way it is. And you
guys can you know, protest if you want or whatever.
But it's just this, this is a business that we
work in. And I've thought about the fantasy of like,
oh my god, I would I would immediately just go
right to the airport and get a ticket and I
would just go and I would You'd never see me again.
And that would work for about the first probably three hours,
and then I'd be on that plane. I'd be like, yes,
(01:23):
wait time, and then I'd go, oh my god, I
don't have a job. And then the rest of the
trip would be ruined because I'd be freaking out the
whole time. I don't think I have it in me
just to go. You know what, led Alan Jackson take
the wheel. Either one of them, the defense attorney or
the very alive country side All right, Kiki's court judge, Kiki, Hey,
what say you?
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Who is hot in his robe? Let's get into the courtroom.
This one says, Hey, kikey am I wrong for feeling
a new level of hate for my daughter in law.
I'm a sixty year old mom of three adult children,
and for over twenty years I've hosted a Mother's Day
lunch at my house.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
It's a tradition.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
My kids bring flowers, we eat, we laugh, and I
get to spend time with the people that I raised.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
It means everything to me.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
This year, my oldest son Ben called and said he
would not be coming. He said he was spending the
day with his wife, Rachel and their kids. Apparently she
asked for a quiet day at home, breakfast in bed,
no visitors, and no driving.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I was stunned.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
I couldn't believe she convinced my son to skip the
lunch entirely, not even stopping by, not even for an hour.
I said, Rachel is not your mother, and this day
is not about her. She gets a birthday, she gets anniversaries.
Can I have my one day? I told him I
felt like he was choosing her over his own mother.
He said, Rachel's been stressed with the kids and that
(02:43):
this is the only thing that she wanted. I get that,
but why does her day dictate what happens with me
and my son. He offered to call me and maybe
come by later in the week, and I told him
that was not the same. So I text his wife
and said, listen, I know you lost your mom five
years years ago, so maybe you don't understand how Yeah,
(03:05):
so maybe you don't understand how much these traditions matter.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
But they matter. Well that's a very messed up way
of saying that. But okay, now, yeah, your mom's dead.
I don't get it, like well, I had a mom
and I do get it.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
So yeah, yeah, Now he's not speaking to me and
I'm questioning everything.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Maybe I was being a bit too old fashioned.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Maybe I'm holding on too tightly, but it really hurts
me that he forgot about his own mother on Mother's Day?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Am I wrong?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
All right? Judge Kinky, I have some thoughts, but it's you.
It's your thing. What say you? You're the judge, Yeah,
your honor.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
She was definitely wrong, so wrong for sending that text message,
like you, any credibility that you had before the text
is out the window because the wife did not call
you and say, you know, he can't come see you.
She didn't even tell your son he couldn't come see you.
She just said she would like a quiet day at home. Now,
he decided not to attend the Mother's Day lunch or whatever,
(03:59):
so you could have taken that up with him, But
to text her that was so out of a line. Ooh,
I think that was out of line. And I think
you crossed the line by doing that. And I was
with you before that text. Honestly, I was like, Hey,
you know you are his mom, and it is okay
to want to see your kids. And no, no, it is.
It's okay to want to see you want to see
your kids. You're right to feel like, oh man, you
(04:19):
can come by, or you know, at least bring the grandkids.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
But after you sent that text, girl, I have no sympathy.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I think if you live in the same town as
your mom and you're married and your wife in this example,
is a mom, I think you could celebrate both.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Right, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I think breakfast could be about your wife and kids
and she's a mom and you're you know you have
obviously you have to celebrate her, she's the mother of
your children. But I don't know why that would prevent
you then from later in the day stop you might
have seen your ma. I wish I were in the
same city as my mom yesterday so I could have
driven over there and said hi. And if I were
married with kids, I would have figured out a way
(04:56):
because I want I know it's not their mom, but
I would probably want my kids to honor their grandmother too,
So there's a way to do both. I don't think
it has to be one or the other. Now, the
text message was out of bound.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
That's what I'm saying. Like, once she said that text, girl,
you are wrong.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
You're wrong. But Paulina, I hear you over at your wife.
I'm a wife and a mother, so let me let
me hear what.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
All right?
Speaker 5 (05:18):
So I think it's time for mom to put her
bub away and it's time to stop breastfeeding her grown son.
That's my theory.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
And I know for we're going to come for me,
and that's okay.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
I only say that because at the end of the day,
you guys know how you feel. Like this man is
now married and he's got a family of his own, Okay,
so he can't he could see his mother.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
But if your wife says, hey, I just want.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
To do breakfast in bed and chill and do our
own thing, I think it's okay to start your own traditions.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
And I stand by that. I do now.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
If you want to go and see your mother later
in the evening or whatever, that's your own thing. But
we don't have to do like a who ha parade,
where like now we're gonna go to a brunch and
dinner and.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Like, why is mom's too high?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I meanay there either, momb.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I mean why is my mom's hu hambuba? Like put
them away? Mom. I'm always having to say that.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
Well, she's acting like it might be because like.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Oh, yeah, I think you can do both.
Speaker 6 (06:12):
Yeah saying both.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
But if your wife says, hey, I don't want to
like do all these things of going out and brunching
and lunching and dinner, that's okay because it is it
is her day too. She's a mother, right, that's the
mother of your children. I think that's okay to have
your own traditions if she doesn't want to, and I
don't think grandma can get mad at that. I did
a brunch at my house yesterday and I invited my
mother and my mother in law. But that's the kind
of wife mother I am where I want to celebrate
(06:34):
with them in my home.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
That's what I wanted to do it. I didn't want to
go out.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
I didn't want to do anything after at two o'clock, after
a lot of champagne, everybody was out the door, and
that's what we did.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
And that was okay, But that was because that's what
I wanted. My husband respected that.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I think you got a way to incorporate.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I think you got to find a way to incorporate both,
because I mean, it's hard to get into the game
of who's more important. Yes, that's your wife, that's a
different natee that the relationship is different. You don't get
to ignore I wouldn't get to ignore my wife, who's
the mother of my children on Mother's Day by any means.
But I also don't get to ignore my mom either. Now, again,
the text message was out of bounds, but she was mad,
(07:12):
and I'm not justifying she needs to apologize for that now,
but she was mad because she felt like she was
being prevented access to her son. So maybe it's not
a breakfast or a lunch the way that she's used to.
But I mean, again, if we're in the same city,
I can drive across town and I can give my
mom flowers or a Mother's Day card. I don't need
to I don't need to be attached to you simply
because you're my wife.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
That's not fair either, And I do agree.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
With that because I think, you know, like you said,
you don't have that where you can just you know,
go to your mom's house and drive across the expressway
or whatever. My mom's five minutes away. So I do
come from a place of privilege, right. You know, my
mom is very close to me physically and emotionally, and
I understand that.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
But I do think, like, if your wife is asking.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
For something a little more chill, a little more like, hey,
let's do our own things.
Speaker 6 (07:54):
There are new traditions. I don't think it's it's bad
to respect that. Am I wrong?
Speaker 5 (07:59):
If that's what you're your wife wants to do, it's tough.
Speaker 7 (08:03):
I think, yeah, that would be. I would feel crazy,
like asking that of my son. Now, he is a
grown man. You pointed this out and it can make
his own decisions. So if Europists take it out on him,
I just as like the spouse would never ask you
to not see your mom on Mother's Day.
Speaker 6 (08:18):
I have a lot of respect for that situation.
Speaker 7 (08:21):
But I think you could do breakfast in bed and
then if she's cool with being alone and she doesn't
want to go for a little while, you can go over.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
To your mom's.
Speaker 7 (08:27):
But I don't think I'm looking at her crazy for
asking that.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Honestly, I'm not cool.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
I'm fine with new traditions, and we've talked about this
over the years on the show, but I'm not fine
with new traditions that alienate family.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I mean, if you want to do your own thing,
you know, on a holiday, that's fine, But I don't
know why that has to exclude everybody else because I
don't think you would like it very much if you
were excluded because you were married, Like what if what
I don't know. What if the rest of the family
is like, oh, well, we didn't necessarily want, you know,
kids around or whatever. So you guys do your own
(09:03):
It seems to be, well, we have our own traditions
and we're doing our own thing and that's separate from
this family. But then when they want to be incorporated
in the mass group, then it's it's like, I don't think.
I don't think it's an a la carte kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
You you can choose your saying, Like when.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I think, yeah, and if that requires a little bit
of effort then, which means we have to split the
day up, or which means that you know, and I
get that can be hard when it comes to like Christmas,
and maybe one person's families here, one person's family's there, Well,
then we probably have to rotate or something like that.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I just I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Family is so important to me, and I don't like
the idea, well that all of a sudden your traditions
become more important than mine. They might be, we might
have to adjust them, but I mean to say, like, no,
you have to stay here all day, you can't go
see your mom.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
Yeah, yes, that's all. I don't know how much time
we have left with mom.
Speaker 7 (09:51):
But also once she sent that text, I was out
because you can't talk about somebody's dead mom like that,
Like that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I think when families grow, it certainly becomes more complicated
and more work, But I think it's worth it. I
think you have to do the work, yes, and you
have to make compromises too.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
Hey, Clarissa, Yeah, I think Paulina has hi.
Speaker 8 (10:11):
I think Paulena has it all right, Like she said
all the right words exactly what I was thinking, Like
it's just inappropriate. The text is way out of line.
But also it's really important, you know, as a mother
to be recognized, whether it's a mom, mother in law,
or even herself. You know, she wanted the opportunity to rest.
You know, we don't know if she was to stay
home mom, and that's hard being a staying a home
(10:33):
mom is hard, or she does both working again to
stay home mom in the evenings or whatever the case is.
You know, to ask for a little bit of time
to chill out is really not the heart of a
concept to understand. And you know, if the mom wanted
an opportunity to see her son, you know, try to
the son it was up to the sun and say,
you know what, my wife wants to do this. But
(10:54):
if she's okay with it, I'll stop for dessert, I'll
bring dessert, or I'll stop by it. You know, we
can go for a cos you run or whatever the
case is. You know, even if it is up to
an hour. But to bring up with the season mother on.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
My day, that was not the way to handle that
at all.
Speaker 8 (11:10):
So I think you guys are all saying the right thing.
You know, altogether, boundaries are super important and unfortunately the
mother crossed this one, and it's going to be hard
for her to kind of bring herself back into a
circle of trust essentially with the mom who is just
trying to rest out.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, that's gonna be a hard one to walk back.
I agree, Clarissa. Thanks, you have a good day.
Speaker 8 (11:32):
Thank you to you guys.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Debbie, Hi, Debbie, good morning, Ybbie.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
I'm not saying min you yeah.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
Tell me why, I'm you tell me why?
Speaker 9 (11:43):
Absolutely ridiculous. You get the whole thing started with a
twenty year tradition. You have twenty years where you have
your children. I have two, and I didn't even see
both of my kids yesterday, and it is hurtful.
Speaker 6 (11:55):
Oh you don't really see.
Speaker 9 (11:56):
Both of your children.
Speaker 6 (11:57):
Okay.
Speaker 9 (11:57):
But having said that, if I had a tradition and
which we do on certain you know, holidays, if my
children then said well, now my daughter, you know she
has a child. If she said, well, now we have
another tradition, I would have been like, but for the
last twenty years, you've given me this and now you're
going to take it away from me on Mother's Day. No,
you have to rearrange your schedule. You have to say, okay,
(12:21):
my my wife wants, you know, breakfast in bed and
a quiet day. Great, I've got.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
This off, plans out.
Speaker 9 (12:27):
You'll have breakfast in bed, I will get the kids ready.
We're going to go to my mom's and do what
I have done for the last twenty years, and then
we're going to come back and I'm going to bring
you something back for dinner. You know, it's really simple.
Everybody could have been happy, but instead it turned into.
Speaker 8 (12:41):
This horrible thing.
Speaker 9 (12:42):
And shame on the mom to for sending that terrible
text on this episode. Everybody, yeah, everybody, but especially you
have a new baby and you're gonna want to do
special things for your family, and you're gonna still to,
like you said, traditions of your very own. But that
doesn't mean you have to interfere with other people.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
And I'm not.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
I am a Yeah, i am an amazing daughter in
law and I will say that on this radio lot
and proud, and I'm an amazing mother. Now, when my
daughter is older and when she becomes a mother, I'm
going to let her pick what she wants to do
with her family because she's going to experience her mother's
say when her time comes, I'm going to be old
and wrinkly and sitting somewhere at home, at a nursing home,
and if they want to come see.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Me, I'll be so happy. And if they don't, I
can't be upset.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
With I think you could.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I think you have a right to be upset if
they don't make any effort to see you on Mother's Day.
I think that is a fair other day. It may
not be in the form that you want. It may not,
you know, to Debbie's point, or I guess, sort of
counter to your point, the tradition that you have known
before another family was created might have to adjust. But
for her to be like for her to be like, no,
you're staying here all day because I don't want to
(13:47):
do anything that shouldn't preclude him from driving across town
to see his mom and give her something. Now, mom
may not get her way, and wife may not get
her way. It's going to have to be compromised. But
you might have to put the effort in because that's
what family is about.
Speaker 9 (13:59):
In my Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Yeah, I want to be clear though you like, I'm
okay with's like, yes, going to see your mom at
night or whatever, going to see your mom later in
the day. I don't that's nothing wrong with that, but
I do think your wife in a sense comes first.
Speaker 6 (14:13):
She has to like that is not your new family.
Speaker 9 (14:17):
Of course your wife comes first time, single day. But
can your mother have Mother's Day blunch like she has
for the last twenty years? Can you not give him that?
Speaker 8 (14:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:27):
You think? Do you think there's compromise here? I definitely
think compromise. Yeah, Debbie, thank you so much for calling.
Have a good day, But that really is that's the
bigger question.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Like when it comes to Mother's Day, is it your
wife or your mother? Because it's it's like Mother's Day
is to you should honor the woman who gave birth
to you, but then you also have this woman who
has given you children, and it's like on that day,
who really comes first?
Speaker 3 (14:49):
For a man?
Speaker 4 (14:49):
I feel sorry for a man who have to decide this,
but like, seriously, who is the who do you celebrate them?
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Mouse?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I think mom has to acquiesce to the wife and
the you know, the mother of the kids. But I
don't think that means that mom gets ignored, yeah, or
doesn't get a visit or do you and you know
what that might suck? That might be a little extra work.
But I don't I get new traditions. But I also
think it's like, but you want to be part of
this family. Oftentimes you you know, mother, mother maybe does
(15:16):
a lot of babysitting, mother does, maybe's contributing financially. Mother
is you know, is a great grandmother. Yeah, so we
need to instill that in the kids too. Unfortunately, I
think sometimes people just they just draw the line and
pick and choose which parts of family they want and
which parts of family they don't want, and that's that's
very damaging. I think, I think it's just gonna be
(15:37):
more work, but I think you had to do both.
Speaker 6 (15:39):
It's more work, it's good.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
It's gonna be rewarding though.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
It's gonna be rewarding because, like you said, then your
children can see, you know, you're gonna celebrate your mother,
and you can celebrate grandma if grandma's still with us.
Speaker 6 (15:48):
Like those are okay and everything is okay with that.
Those are great traditions to have.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
My whole point was that the mom just has to
come first, and if she doesn't want to come to brunch, lunch, dinner, whatever,
she can stay back, and that should be okay for
every buddy.
Speaker 6 (16:00):
Everybody should respect that.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
All right, I wish we get to all these phone calls.
We can. The fun fact is next day here more Fredshell.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Next
Order a fresh show. It's Geeky's cord and it goes
new segment alert. I swear I'm not high, but no,
it's been a segment. Thank you. No, it's been one
for some time, but welcome if you're new to the thing.
A lot of people are worried about the bugs. Several
of my personal friends have texted me and said, no,
that's it's valid, like the culture shock for these bugs.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You know, you land and you're like, where am I?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
And then also, I don't know how many things we
screwed up in that last segment factually, but the cat's
name is Oliver, or the due's name is Oliver, the
cat's name is Phoenix. It doesn't matter. You knew what
I was talking about. Thank you for correcting me, and
I'm fine with that. But everyone knew I was talking
about doing it in a boat. Okay, you quit his job.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I think about this fantasy all the time. I do,
I really do.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
I think about like because it's radio, and they'll one
day they'll build make me get up at four in
the morning, come in here, do a show, and then
when I walk out, they'll be standing there and they'll say,
you know, it's been nice. You can get the hell
out of here. It's radio.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
It will happen.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, yeah, Unfortunately, it's the way it is. And you
guys can you know, protest if you want or whatever.
But it's just this, this is a business that we
work in. And I've thought about the fantasy of like,
oh my god, I would I would immediately just go
right to the airport and get a ticket and I
would just go and I would You'd never see me again.
And that would work for about the first probably three hours,
and then I'd be on that plane. I'd be like, yes,
(01:23):
wait time, and then I'd go, oh my god, I
don't have a job. And then the rest of the
trip would be ruined because I'd be freaking out the
whole time. I don't think I have it in me
just to go. You know what, led Alan Jackson take
the wheel. Either one of them, the defense attorney or
the very alive country side All right, Kiki's court judge, Kiki, Hey,
what say you?
Speaker 4 (01:42):
Who is hot in his robe? Let's get into the courtroom.
This one says, Hey, kikey am I wrong for feeling
a new level of hate for my daughter in law.
I'm a sixty year old mom of three adult children,
and for over twenty years I've hosted a Mother's Day
lunch at my house.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
It's a tradition.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
My kids bring flowers, we eat, we laugh, and I
get to spend time with the people that I raised.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
It means everything to me.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
This year, my oldest son Ben called and said he
would not be coming. He said he was spending the
day with his wife, Rachel and their kids. Apparently she
asked for a quiet day at home, breakfast in bed,
no visitors, and no driving.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I was stunned.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
I couldn't believe she convinced my son to skip the
lunch entirely, not even stopping by, not even for an hour.
I said, Rachel is not your mother, and this day
is not about her. She gets a birthday, she gets anniversaries.
Can I have my one day? I told him I
felt like he was choosing her over his own mother.
He said, Rachel's been stressed with the kids and that
(02:43):
this is the only thing that she wanted. I get that,
but why does her day dictate what happens with me
and my son. He offered to call me and maybe
come by later in the week, and I told him
that was not the same. So I text his wife
and said, listen, I know you lost your mom five
years years ago, so maybe you don't understand how Yeah,
(03:05):
so maybe you don't understand how much these traditions matter.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
But they matter. Well that's a very messed up way
of saying that. But okay, now, yeah, your mom's dead.
I don't get it, like well, I had a mom
and I do get it.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
So yeah, yeah, Now he's not speaking to me and
I'm questioning everything.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Maybe I was being a bit too old fashioned.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
Maybe I'm holding on too tightly, but it really hurts
me that he forgot about his own mother on Mother's Day?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
Am I wrong?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
All right? Judge Kinky, I have some thoughts, but it's you.
It's your thing. What say you? You're the judge, Yeah,
your honor.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
She was definitely wrong, so wrong for sending that text message,
like you, any credibility that you had before the text
is out the window because the wife did not call
you and say, you know, he can't come see you.
She didn't even tell your son he couldn't come see you.
She just said she would like a quiet day at home. Now,
he decided not to attend the Mother's Day lunch or whatever,
(03:59):
so you could have taken that up with him, But
to text her that was so out of a line. Ooh,
I think that was out of line. And I think
you crossed the line by doing that. And I was
with you before that text. Honestly, I was like, Hey,
you know you are his mom, and it is okay
to want to see your kids. And no, no, it is.
It's okay to want to see you want to see
your kids. You're right to feel like, oh man, you
(04:19):
can come by, or you know, at least bring the grandkids.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
But after you sent that text, girl, I have no sympathy.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
I think if you live in the same town as
your mom and you're married and your wife in this example,
is a mom, I think you could celebrate both.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Right, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I think breakfast could be about your wife and kids
and she's a mom and you're you know you have
obviously you have to celebrate her, she's the mother of
your children. But I don't know why that would prevent
you then from later in the day stop you might
have seen your ma. I wish I were in the
same city as my mom yesterday so I could have
driven over there and said hi. And if I were
married with kids, I would have figured out a way
(04:56):
because I want I know it's not their mom, but
I would probably want my kids to honor their grandmother too,
So there's a way to do both. I don't think
it has to be one or the other. Now, the
text message was out of bound.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
That's what I'm saying. Like, once she said that text, girl,
you are wrong.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
You're wrong. But Paulina, I hear you over at your wife.
I'm a wife and a mother, so let me let
me hear what.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
All right?
Speaker 5 (05:18):
So I think it's time for mom to put her
bub away and it's time to stop breastfeeding her grown son.
That's my theory.
Speaker 6 (05:25):
And I know for we're going to come for me,
and that's okay.
Speaker 5 (05:28):
I only say that because at the end of the day,
you guys know how you feel. Like this man is
now married and he's got a family of his own, Okay,
so he can't he could see his mother.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
But if your wife says, hey, I just want.
Speaker 5 (05:39):
To do breakfast in bed and chill and do our
own thing, I think it's okay to start your own traditions.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
And I stand by that. I do now.
Speaker 5 (05:45):
If you want to go and see your mother later
in the evening or whatever, that's your own thing. But
we don't have to do like a who ha parade,
where like now we're gonna go to a brunch and
dinner and.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Like, why is mom's too high?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I meanay there either, momb.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I mean why is my mom's hu hambuba? Like put
them away? Mom. I'm always having to say that.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
Well, she's acting like it might be because like.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Oh, yeah, I think you can do both.
Speaker 6 (06:12):
Yeah saying both.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
But if your wife says, hey, I don't want to
like do all these things of going out and brunching
and lunching and dinner, that's okay because it is it
is her day too. She's a mother, right, that's the
mother of your children. I think that's okay to have
your own traditions if she doesn't want to, and I
don't think grandma can get mad at that. I did
a brunch at my house yesterday and I invited my
mother and my mother in law. But that's the kind
of wife mother I am where I want to celebrate
(06:34):
with them in my home.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
That's what I wanted to do it. I didn't want to
go out.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
I didn't want to do anything after at two o'clock, after
a lot of champagne, everybody was out the door, and
that's what we did.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
And that was okay, But that was because that's what
I wanted. My husband respected that.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I think you got a way to incorporate.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I think you got to find a way to incorporate both,
because I mean, it's hard to get into the game
of who's more important. Yes, that's your wife, that's a
different natee that the relationship is different. You don't get
to ignore I wouldn't get to ignore my wife, who's
the mother of my children on Mother's Day by any means.
But I also don't get to ignore my mom either. Now, again,
the text message was out of bounds, but she was mad,
(07:12):
and I'm not justifying she needs to apologize for that now,
but she was mad because she felt like she was
being prevented access to her son. So maybe it's not
a breakfast or a lunch the way that she's used to.
But I mean, again, if we're in the same city,
I can drive across town and I can give my
mom flowers or a Mother's Day card. I don't need
to I don't need to be attached to you simply
because you're my wife.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
That's not fair either, And I do agree.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
With that because I think, you know, like you said,
you don't have that where you can just you know,
go to your mom's house and drive across the expressway
or whatever. My mom's five minutes away. So I do
come from a place of privilege, right. You know, my
mom is very close to me physically and emotionally, and
I understand that.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
But I do think, like, if your wife is asking.
Speaker 5 (07:51):
For something a little more chill, a little more like, hey,
let's do our own things.
Speaker 6 (07:54):
There are new traditions. I don't think it's it's bad
to respect that. Am I wrong?
Speaker 5 (07:59):
If that's what you're your wife wants to do, it's tough.
Speaker 7 (08:03):
I think, yeah, that would be. I would feel crazy,
like asking that of my son. Now, he is a
grown man. You pointed this out and it can make
his own decisions. So if Europists take it out on him,
I just as like the spouse would never ask you
to not see your mom on Mother's Day.
Speaker 6 (08:18):
I have a lot of respect for that situation.
Speaker 7 (08:21):
But I think you could do breakfast in bed and
then if she's cool with being alone and she doesn't
want to go for a little while, you can go over.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
To your mom's.
Speaker 7 (08:27):
But I don't think I'm looking at her crazy for
asking that.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Honestly, I'm not cool.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
I'm fine with new traditions, and we've talked about this
over the years on the show, but I'm not fine
with new traditions that alienate family.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I don't like that.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I mean, if you want to do your own thing,
you know, on a holiday, that's fine, But I don't
know why that has to exclude everybody else because I
don't think you would like it very much if you
were excluded because you were married, Like what if what
I don't know. What if the rest of the family
is like, oh, well, we didn't necessarily want, you know,
kids around or whatever. So you guys do your own
(09:03):
It seems to be, well, we have our own traditions
and we're doing our own thing and that's separate from
this family. But then when they want to be incorporated
in the mass group, then it's it's like, I don't think.
I don't think it's an a la carte kind of thing.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
You you can choose your saying, Like when.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I think, yeah, and if that requires a little bit
of effort then, which means we have to split the
day up, or which means that you know, and I
get that can be hard when it comes to like Christmas,
and maybe one person's families here, one person's family's there, Well,
then we probably have to rotate or something like that.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
I just I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Family is so important to me, and I don't like
the idea, well that all of a sudden your traditions
become more important than mine. They might be, we might
have to adjust them, but I mean to say, like, no,
you have to stay here all day, you can't go
see your mom.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
Yeah, yes, that's all. I don't know how much time
we have left with mom.
Speaker 7 (09:51):
But also once she sent that text, I was out
because you can't talk about somebody's dead mom like that,
Like that's crazy.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I think when families grow, it certainly becomes more complicated
and more work, But I think it's worth it. I
think you have to do the work, yes, and you
have to make compromises too.
Speaker 6 (10:06):
Hey, Clarissa, Yeah, I think Paulina has hi.
Speaker 8 (10:11):
I think Paulena has it all right, Like she said
all the right words exactly what I was thinking, Like
it's just inappropriate. The text is way out of line.
But also it's really important, you know, as a mother
to be recognized, whether it's a mom, mother in law,
or even herself. You know, she wanted the opportunity to rest.
You know, we don't know if she was to stay
home mom, and that's hard being a staying a home
(10:33):
mom is hard, or she does both working again to
stay home mom in the evenings or whatever the case is.
You know, to ask for a little bit of time
to chill out is really not the heart of a
concept to understand. And you know, if the mom wanted
an opportunity to see her son, you know, try to
the son it was up to the sun and say,
you know what, my wife wants to do this. But
(10:54):
if she's okay with it, I'll stop for dessert, I'll
bring dessert, or I'll stop by it. You know, we
can go for a cos you run or whatever the
case is. You know, even if it is up to
an hour. But to bring up with the season mother on.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
My day, that was not the way to handle that
at all.
Speaker 8 (11:10):
So I think you guys are all saying the right thing.
You know, altogether, boundaries are super important and unfortunately the
mother crossed this one, and it's going to be hard
for her to kind of bring herself back into a
circle of trust essentially with the mom who is just
trying to rest out.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, that's gonna be a hard one to walk back.
I agree, Clarissa. Thanks, you have a good day.
Speaker 8 (11:32):
Thank you to you guys.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Debbie, Hi, Debbie, good morning, Ybbie.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
I'm not saying min you yeah.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
Tell me why, I'm you tell me why?
Speaker 9 (11:43):
Absolutely ridiculous. You get the whole thing started with a
twenty year tradition. You have twenty years where you have
your children. I have two, and I didn't even see
both of my kids yesterday, and it is hurtful.
Speaker 6 (11:55):
Oh you don't really see.
Speaker 9 (11:56):
Both of your children.
Speaker 6 (11:57):
Okay.
Speaker 9 (11:57):
But having said that, if I had a tradition and
which we do on certain you know, holidays, if my
children then said well, now my daughter, you know she
has a child. If she said, well, now we have
another tradition, I would have been like, but for the
last twenty years, you've given me this and now you're
going to take it away from me on Mother's Day. No,
you have to rearrange your schedule. You have to say, okay,
(12:21):
my my wife wants, you know, breakfast in bed and
a quiet day. Great, I've got.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
This off, plans out.
Speaker 9 (12:27):
You'll have breakfast in bed, I will get the kids ready.
We're going to go to my mom's and do what
I have done for the last twenty years, and then
we're going to come back and I'm going to bring
you something back for dinner. You know, it's really simple.
Everybody could have been happy, but instead it turned into.
Speaker 8 (12:41):
This horrible thing.
Speaker 9 (12:42):
And shame on the mom to for sending that terrible
text on this episode. Everybody, yeah, everybody, but especially you
have a new baby and you're gonna want to do
special things for your family, and you're gonna still to,
like you said, traditions of your very own. But that
doesn't mean you have to interfere with other people.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
And I'm not.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
I am a Yeah, i am an amazing daughter in
law and I will say that on this radio lot
and proud, and I'm an amazing mother. Now, when my
daughter is older and when she becomes a mother, I'm
going to let her pick what she wants to do
with her family because she's going to experience her mother's
say when her time comes, I'm going to be old
and wrinkly and sitting somewhere at home, at a nursing home,
and if they want to come see.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Me, I'll be so happy. And if they don't, I
can't be upset.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
With I think you could.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I think you have a right to be upset if
they don't make any effort to see you on Mother's Day.
I think that is a fair other day. It may
not be in the form that you want. It may not,
you know, to Debbie's point, or I guess, sort of
counter to your point, the tradition that you have known
before another family was created might have to adjust. But
for her to be like for her to be like, no,
you're staying here all day because I don't want to
(13:47):
do anything that shouldn't preclude him from driving across town
to see his mom and give her something. Now, mom
may not get her way, and wife may not get
her way. It's going to have to be compromised. But
you might have to put the effort in because that's
what family is about.
Speaker 9 (13:59):
In my Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Yeah, I want to be clear though you like, I'm
okay with's like, yes, going to see your mom at
night or whatever, going to see your mom later in
the day. I don't that's nothing wrong with that, but
I do think your wife in a sense comes first.
Speaker 6 (14:13):
She has to like that is not your new family.
Speaker 9 (14:17):
Of course your wife comes first time, single day. But
can your mother have Mother's Day blunch like she has
for the last twenty years? Can you not give him that?
Speaker 8 (14:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:27):
You think? Do you think there's compromise here? I definitely
think compromise. Yeah, Debbie, thank you so much for calling.
Have a good day, But that really is that's the
bigger question.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Like when it comes to Mother's Day, is it your
wife or your mother? Because it's it's like Mother's Day
is to you should honor the woman who gave birth
to you, but then you also have this woman who
has given you children, and it's like on that day,
who really comes first?
Speaker 3 (14:49):
For a man?
Speaker 4 (14:49):
I feel sorry for a man who have to decide this,
but like, seriously, who is the who do you celebrate them?
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Mouse?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
I think mom has to acquiesce to the wife and
the you know, the mother of the kids. But I
don't think that means that mom gets ignored, yeah, or
doesn't get a visit or do you and you know
what that might suck? That might be a little extra work.
But I don't I get new traditions. But I also
think it's like, but you want to be part of
this family. Oftentimes you you know, mother, mother maybe does
(15:16):
a lot of babysitting, mother does, maybe's contributing financially. Mother
is you know, is a great grandmother. Yeah, so we
need to instill that in the kids too. Unfortunately, I
think sometimes people just they just draw the line and
pick and choose which parts of family they want and
which parts of family they don't want, and that's that's
very damaging. I think, I think it's just gonna be
(15:37):
more work, but I think you had to do both.
Speaker 6 (15:39):
It's more work, it's good.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
It's gonna be rewarding though.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
It's gonna be rewarding because, like you said, then your
children can see, you know, you're gonna celebrate your mother,
and you can celebrate grandma if grandma's still with us.
Speaker 6 (15:48):
Like those are okay and everything is okay with that.
Those are great traditions to have.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
My whole point was that the mom just has to
come first, and if she doesn't want to come to brunch, lunch, dinner, whatever,
she can stay back, and that should be okay for
every buddy.
Speaker 6 (16:00):
Everybody should respect that.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
All right, I wish we get to all these phone calls.
We can. The fun fact is next day here more Fredshell.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Next
The Fred Show On Demand News
Show Links
Official WebsitePopular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.