October 6, 2025 • 21 mins
A listener is conflicted after hearing her fiancé is working with someone he cheated on her with years ago.. Judge Keke weighs in!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 1 (00:31):
Fresh Show. It's Kik's Court.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
All rise, the honorable kikileik oh Man A right chess, Kiki,
All right, what say you?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Let's get in the courtroom. The gabble has been hits.
It says, hey, Kikey, I need your honest opinion because
my family thinks I've lost my mind. I canceled my
wedding three years ago. My fiance cheated on me while
we were on we were dating, we did the whole
therapy forgiveness, rebuild trust thing. Eventually he proposed and I
(01:03):
really thought we were in a solid spot. Fast forward
to last week. We were at the bar with his coworkers,
and one of them casually mentions, oh yeah, Carrie, the
woman he cheated with joined our team a few months ago.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
I froze.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
He never told me that she worked there, and for
six months at that I felt humiliated, blindsided. So I
left him at the bar, went home and called off
our wedding. Now my mom and sister are saying that
I overreacted because he didn't actually cheat again, and you
can't control where people work.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
But to me, the lion by omission feels just as bad.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
And if he was a trustworthy man, why would he
hide it? So am I wrong for calling off our
wedding over something that technically happened years ago? But it
feels brand new all over again. What do you think,
Judge Kiki girl almost called off my wedding over socks
this morning? So you know, sister, I feel you, and
(02:04):
you know how I feel about withholding information in a relationship.
You know, you can hide it from the world, but
you should tell your partner. I feel like I should
have known, or she should have known, that that woman
is now working at his job. I do think he
made a big mistake by not telling her. He didn't
withhold it, though, well, technically I think you did because
(02:25):
you know, if Carrie is now your coworker, and you
know the history that you and Carrie have, you don't
think to bring that up over dinner one night.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Why would you do that to yourself? Though?
Speaker 3 (02:34):
But then if you don't and your and your friend
tells me about it, and now we're in a worse spot.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
So I don't think.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I think you're a little dramatic by calling off your
wed and I will be honest, I think this is
something that you guys can work through. But I don't
feel that he was completely innocent by not bringing this up.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
You guys with the jury eight five, five, five, nine,
one oh three five context to say number Noine, I
don't know why you'd walk into that again, I mean,
because it just it just sort of opens the wound. Okay,
you know, if you're so, so, he cheated, he got
caught or acknowledged it or whatever happened. They went through
the process, he's been forgiven. She she's good with him,
(03:09):
they're they're engaged, they're getting married. Everything is fine. So
why would he sit down and go, oh, by the way,
remember that threat from the past, Remember that that that
woman with whom I made poor decisions. Yeah, she's in
my life again now every single day, and so nothing
to worry about here, nothing to see. I just want
you to know that I don't know. I mean, I
can see both sides. I can see why you would
(03:30):
say something. I can very much see why you would not.
But we moved past it going.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
To the holiday party, you know, and then it's like, oh,
what is she doing here? Or what is he doing here?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
You wouldn't want your partner to have given you a
heads up that this person is not working with them
every day.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I just think you're asking for problems. I think you're
asking for it all to be dug up again. But
it's already been forgiven and and we've moved past it.
I mean, if he wanted to cheat with this woman,
he would do it whether she worked there or not.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
I agree. How do I know you didn't get her
of get heard the job?
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Well?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
See, there you go. This is what I'm talking about here,
we go down this rabbit hole. This is the rabbit
hole where you're just saying things now, Yes, and you
have no evidence of that, no proof of that. He
may have had nothing to do with it whatsoever. And
it doesn't matter because we've already forgiven him for the
indiscretion and we're trusting him moving forward. This is the
only way this works, except we're not if we're saying
things like that.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Okay, but I just don't believe you should withhold information
because you're worried about my reaction.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Tell me and let me process it.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
May we ask if it happened he just didn't tell her.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Yeah, you didn't tell me and someone else told me.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
But withholding would mean that that you that you asked
and he said no, or that you know a lie.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
No, I don't because he does.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Don't want to go there again, because this is what happens.
And we start asking, a bunch of a bunch of
crazy things start coming in your brain, like oh, well,
now you're you're you're in close proximity, so you're gonna
slip and fall in a meeting and stick it in
her or something like no, you're not, like you know,
you're not.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
You're not going to You're not going to do that.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Hey, Hi, Mary's Court, you're the jury.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
What say you?
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Well, what I say is that on one end, I
do believe she's being a little over dramatic However, he's also.
Speaker 7 (05:14):
Not completely off the hook with this one.
Speaker 8 (05:16):
I feel like transparency is key to rebuilding that trust.
Speaker 7 (05:19):
And if the work was.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
Done for them to forgive and rebuild the trust, then yes,
being transparent, he is part of the work that everybody
put in, So why not bring it up?
Speaker 8 (05:28):
Why not say anything?
Speaker 9 (05:29):
Right?
Speaker 7 (05:29):
Unless somebody has something to hide, that's the only reason
they would.
Speaker 6 (05:32):
Keep that valuable information. I feel like, which gives the
other person peace of mind.
Speaker 8 (05:35):
But yes, she is but dramatic.
Speaker 7 (05:38):
I feel like this is something that could take a conversation.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
Clarity, maybe another couple of therapy sessions and uh, you know,
work through it.
Speaker 8 (05:44):
If the love is there, then just work through the issue.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, okay, all right, thank you, Marcy.
Speaker 7 (05:51):
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Haven't the day? No, I'm here, I'm here in different respectives.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Hi, Lucy, how's you going?
Speaker 10 (05:58):
Guys?
Speaker 9 (05:59):
Morning?
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Lucy good more. Kiki's Court. So basically.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Peeboard together male female, they're together and dude cheated with
a woman. Now a woman works, and they've moved on,
the couple's moved on the forgiveness and the whole thing,
and they're engaged. They getting married and now the woman
that dude cheated with now works with dude, and and
he didn't come home and just tell her that, and
now she's canceling the wedding and the whole thing. He
(06:25):
didn't necessarily go back there. We don't think he went
back there. We don't know that she's just mad because
this lady's at work every day and he didn't tell her.
Speaker 11 (06:32):
What do you think I think what she key said.
I mean, he could have avoided any type of even
minor and insecurity that the girlfriend's going to have, the
fiance is going to have by saying, hey, babe, really quick,
super weird, she works here, and I know what one happened,
just so you know, and you leave it there and
then obviously she might.
Speaker 10 (06:51):
Be on guard.
Speaker 11 (06:52):
But I mean, that's what a relationship is. It's awkward.
You know, you got to get through it.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, I guess, I guess you could.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
But that's that means that you trust that you're not
going to continue to be penalized for the past, or
that you're not digging up all this stuff again.
Speaker 11 (07:06):
Trust like, hey, I trust that you're working with her.
Speaker 10 (07:09):
Thanks for letting me know.
Speaker 7 (07:10):
Listen, I was previously.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Married and a lot was withheld and.
Speaker 11 (07:14):
If it would have just been told to me, I'd
still be married. So let me just tell you that.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
See, he screwed up, right, he screwed up by cheating,
But he I'm guessing he doesn't trust that bringing that
information up is going to result in her going Okay, now,
I remember that we've moved past this, so I'm not
saying it's her fault at all, But I think the
reason he's not telling her is because he's afraid of
her reaction.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
And I don't know that he should be afraid of
her reaction.
Speaker 7 (07:39):
That's valid, but that's valid.
Speaker 11 (07:41):
We all have fears, like if he loves her so
much and he's like, okay, sheardy forgave me once? What
if his pushes are over the edge? I get all that,
But at the end of the day, like I guess,
we all don't have a handbook on what's right and
what's wrong. But I just honesty. I mean, if he
learns now like honesty will always win, even if it's
super award, you'll feel better at the.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Thank you, Lucy, have a good day.
Speaker 8 (08:03):
Thanks guys, adore you by I have a good more than.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I adore you. That's nice thing. To say, Fred, I.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Don't disagree with you often, but Kiki is right withholding
is not telling your partner. Your partner shouldn't have to ask.
But if your partner does, as you don't disclose, that's
a lie. I guess what I mean is if she
asked me and I lied, But like, what are you
asking about this woman constantly? Because again, we supposedly moved
(08:32):
on here. That's the biggest part of this. I'm not
saying forgiveness is easy, but she forgave him. There should
be zero penalty for whatever happens moving forward if she
forgave him and he's holding up his end of the
bargain and there's trust. For whatever reason, he thought he
would be penalized for bringing this up again. And I'm
not saying that that's that she did anything wrong, but
I just think like he doesn't want he doesn't want
(08:53):
that smoke anymore.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I understand what you don't want, but you brought the
smoke in the house, and so I need to know
that there's a new fire, and I need to know.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
About there isn't a new fire.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
The house is on fire.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
We go Hey, Christina, Hi, good morning, Hi, good morning. Hi.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Takes court, you're the jury, what say you?
Speaker 10 (09:15):
Okay? So I just called old Jos's a couple of
months ago, called off my wedding because I found out
my fiance was cheating on me.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I'm happened.
Speaker 10 (09:31):
I mean, that's a life and China the worst, but
for her, like I tried to make it work too.
And then you just find out new information and though
it's old information to them, it's new information to you.
And when you try to have moved past like the cheating,
(09:51):
the cheating is always there, but the transparency is what
helps gets you through it. And if he's nothing transparent,
especially about the the person he shed was now working
with him, like he's completely in the wrong. That is,
she has every right to be upset about that, because
omission of information is lying.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
But we're implying here, we're projecting onto him that this
is automatically a problem, that any overlap between these two
is going to be an issue. And this is a
guy who I don't know why we're not giving him
the benefit of the doubt. And again, the only reason
I would say this is because he screwed up for
how Connery came clean, and she chose to forgive him
(10:35):
what I cannot stand is situations where I forgive you,
but I'm going to it's going to be an issue
for the rest of our lives.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Well, then you didn't. Then you didn't.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Because this guy's got to have a chance to redeem
himself and you don't know him that, by the way,
But if you give him that, then he can't be
And I'm assuming he was afraid to tell her, as he.
Speaker 10 (10:55):
Should be, but he lost the benefit of the doubt
once he cheated a couple of years ago. So whatever
you don't tell her, she has all the right to
be obsessed.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I would agree that he doesn't need to fear her
reaction if in fact, he's living up to his end
of the bargain.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
So I don't know. I guess I understand exactly what you're.
Speaker 10 (11:17):
Saying, living up to his end of the.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Bargain because we have to, because we because we forgave
and we're trusting now, or we're not. And you again,
I'm gonna say one more time, you don't know anyone
that you don't have to do that, But then break
up because it'll never work if we're constantly living in
a world where this person's a threat.
Speaker 9 (11:35):
Yes, that's all I was saying about. She found out,
so that is that is a big deal. If she
would have told her up front, I feel like the
transparency would have been more okay.
Speaker 10 (11:49):
Work through this. But now she found out, so now
it's kind of like for me, I would be like,
you lost, You lost any chance of forgiveness or trying
to make it work because you weren't being transparently.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, here's what I would have done, Christina. I would
have said, I would have come clean. If this woman
comes in my proximity ever again, whether I see her
at the mall or at the car wash or at Starbucks,
or if I see her if she now works at
my business, I if my hands are clean, I would
have been transparent. But if I were to pay any
penalty for that, now we have.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Now it's to decide that I do.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Though, Kiki, because we because when you forgive someone and
you move on, that we can't every time this person's
name comes up, where every time you feel vulnerable, make
me pay again.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
But because we're moving forward.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
How I'm going to react if you don't give me
the opportunity, So give me the chance to see how
I'm going to react.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But what I'm saying is if I, if you do
react poorly beyond a certain point, now I have issue.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Now I have issue to say. Now, wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I thought if I thought we were moving forward, I
thought we acknowledged that I screwed up, that I acknowledge
that we went through the process. So I don't know
I would cover my ass. But I also think I
would have every right if you freak out on me,
to be like now, hold on.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, and I thought we were good.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
She may not freak out on you, though, if any.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Right, And he doesn't know that because you didn't tell her,
So I would have said something.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Yeah, yeah, you let someone else come into.
Speaker 10 (13:17):
So he wasn't wrong for not being transferred in the
first place. That's all he was wrong.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
I'm telling you what I would have done. Whether I
do I think he's wrong or not, it's up to you.
But and you think he's wrong, so that's fair. Thank you, Christina.
I'm sorry for what happened to you, But onward and upward.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Yep, it's more effishing to see girl.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Get a couple of ye you will be okay, Christina,
have a good day.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Okay, but she'll be ready.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
No she's not ready to hear it. No, she's but
that's okay, she's gonna be fined. Uh, Noel, how you
doing good?
Speaker 4 (13:47):
How are you?
Speaker 7 (13:48):
I love you guys so much getting married than you?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Are you excited that you're getting married after hearing all
these kiggies court stories about people doing this and that.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Oh yeah, because it's strict in his courting room.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Well, let me just recap here quickly. And this is
kind of a hard one to recap. But we have
a couple. The dude cheated three years ago with a woman.
They moved past it, went through the process, she forgave him, therapy,
all these different things, and they've moved forward. They're engaged,
and they had a wedding planted. This woman finds out
(14:20):
that the woman with whom her fiance cheated now works
where he does, and he didn't tell her, and so
she cancels the wedding. I'm saying, that's not I don't
think that's fair to him if in fact, we truly
forgave and move forward.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Noel, what say you?
Speaker 8 (14:39):
Okay, So I'm.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
Getting married in two months and found out that the
woman who my fiance cheated on me with is now
working with him every single day, and he did not
tell me. I would call the wedding off because obviously
I did forgive you in the past, but you're still
proving to me that I cannot trust you. Because if
you have nothing to hide and we're going to be
(15:01):
transparent and we're working on trust, you.
Speaker 7 (15:04):
Should have told me in the beginning that.
Speaker 8 (15:07):
You've worked with you And there's the disconnection.
Speaker 7 (15:09):
Now if he works late at the office or they
go out for a company happy hours, it's going to
cripple you, like it's going to literally cripple your mental
state and you're never going to.
Speaker 8 (15:20):
Trust him again. And I love you, Fred with my whole,
entire heart, but no, my reaction is valid.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
It has you chose to not tell me, and you
made this whole fire yourself, like you chose this life.
Speaker 8 (15:35):
And that's my reaction is because I can't.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Trust you any if I don't think this woman coming
in my proximity three years later or whatever makes me
untrustworthy for not wanting to open that wound again again,
what would I do? I would cover my butt and
watch your reaction and if you flip off, if you
fly off the handle, then I know where I stand.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
You haven't forgiven me, and we have a different problem.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
You didn't she didn't just come in your approximity.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
You didn't just see her at the stoplight, Broy, I
did every day.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I'm just I'm gonna give him the benefit of the
I'm gonna give him better death.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I'm gonna because I don't think. I don't think he
got her the job.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I don't think he's out seeking her and communicated with
her to being close. If he is, then he's in
the wrong, and then he should have been forgiven. If
he kneed all that, the dump is ass.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
But I don't know. I don't know how we live
in this world. Whereas I forgave you, but I kind
of did. But here's the term.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
It's forever.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
No one's asking you to forget. But we can't just
every time you feel like it, Pauline.
Speaker 12 (16:38):
It just well, I will, but I'm not run to
freak out. But I just don't want to be the
clown in the background that I didn't know. That's all
this really is, Like, Yeah, it might hurt when you
tell me. I might throw a fit. I might you know,
punch a wall, I might do all these things that
I might just do. The point is if I forgave you,
I'm with you, like, let me work through my emotions,
but be honest, just be straight up, like this is
happening at the office. This person is here. I don't
(17:00):
talk to her whatever, I'm just letting you know she
she is in the office withholding.
Speaker 13 (17:03):
Sometimes I feel feels like people are trying to control
the other person's reaction. Yes, fortunately, like you have to
do the right thing, but be prepared that they might
not react well, but that's not on you and you
can't control that period.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Thank you, Noel, have a good day. People are blowing
me up. Oh I'm so wrong. I'm strong. I told
you exactly what I would do, and it's the thing
that you want me to do. But what I'm hung
up on is that everyone is in here calling going
see he can't be trusted.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
What do you mean he didn't do anything? But see
what you're doing. But you're doing.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
The thing I'm talking about is we've jumped to all
these conclusions. We don't have any information. We've automatically assumed
that this guy went and called her up and he
was like physically humping.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Her and was like I'm going to get.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
You a job.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
I gotta be next to you every day so I
can physically hump you some more. I'm helping you.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
See it's cry He's physically humping you, guys.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
This is what I mean. You guys.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
You're saying, you guys are telling me I'm wrong, But
you're saying that you're you're jumping to all the conclusions
that concern me, and.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
You told me the conclusions would not be there because
I would have you on FaceTime at work all day.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
And then Calen's point is true.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Is I think he's probably not telling her because of this?
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yes, I understand, but no, but that's up to me.
I get to choose how I react.
Speaker 12 (18:23):
You know, I don't care what's fair to you.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
You guys are saying, you're saying all the things that
I'm saying would prevent would prevent a lot of people
from going back there.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
That's it, Hey, Jill, how you doing it?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Hi?
Speaker 9 (18:39):
Jill.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I'm gonna give you. The final sake is they got
to move on? What do you think?
Speaker 10 (18:43):
All right? So, I mean, I'm all about this forgive
and forget because I've done it. My ex husband left
me twice for the same woman. He's now happily married
to her, and I'm happily with someone else. So worked
out for.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
The best good.
Speaker 10 (18:57):
And I will say I forgave and I forget. And
he didn't tell me when she came back into his life,
and I said, you know what, I forget. It's okay.
He didn't work out Fred. She should have been honest
with her.
Speaker 7 (19:10):
If she's back in his life.
Speaker 10 (19:11):
In any capacity. Now those terms have changed. She forgave
and forgot, but she was gone. The other current part
of the puzzle was removed.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Here's my other question.
Speaker 10 (19:20):
Sure comes back into the puzzle. You have to communicate
and you have to work through it.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I hear all that, and again that's probably what I
would do in this situation, what I would do and
what and me try me understanding maybe where he's coming
from her two different things. But okay, So I come
home and I tell you, hey, this woman who is
I caused you amens?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
I did it? She didn't.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
I mean, she was part of it. But I was
married to you. I'm the or I'm with you. I
made the commitment to you. I cause you great pain
by being with this woman is now is now in
my presence every day at my work.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
What am I putting you?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
And again, I'm assuming that you're going to dislike that
most people would. But now now you get to relive
all of that, and for what Because I'm just assuming
this guy's not going back there.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Now. If he is, we have a whole different problem.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
But if we forgave him and we trust him, then
we're assuming that until we find out otherwise that he
is not. But now every day when I go to work,
you get to relive this until you don't. And I'm
saying that's not fair to her either.
Speaker 10 (20:21):
No, it isn't. But isn't it worse? Isn't it so
much worse that she does go to the holiday party,
Like someone said, goes to the holiday party and this
person's been working there for almost a year, You at
some point found out this person had been sleeping with
your partner.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
But is it worse when you find out he didn't
he wasn't doing anything, or.
Speaker 8 (20:41):
Better, you're back too.
Speaker 10 (20:42):
He cheated on you behind your back.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
But we're assuming he's not doing anything now just because
she's there.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 10 (20:49):
Sure, just because she's there. But it's the sense of
betrayal that he's now reignited by withholding the impromation.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I hear, I hear all of this.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I think he's Dan if he does and Dan Ivy
doesn't in this, honestly, i'd probably you know what I'd do,
I'd get another job.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
I quit my damn jo dot Com. I quit my
damn job.
Speaker 10 (21:08):
I'm terrible.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I'm moving.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I'm here. I work at Wendy's. Now important forget Taco Bell.
I've moved on.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Jill. Jill, Jill, Jill. I don't work there anymore. We're fine.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
I quit more important Taco Bell.
Speaker 9 (21:22):
Here is Jill.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I don't know what you say, but have a good day, Jill.
Thank you for calling.
Speaker 9 (21:27):
Love you.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I love Jill.
Speaker 12 (21:28):
Now I'm throwing your hand at the holiday party.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
We've got shrimp contail. Come on going to the holiday
party because I don't work there.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Yeah, you know, tell me and then now get a
job there.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Now three of us here down, here we go.
This is the Fresh Show. Each time.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Celebrate the holiday season with Mariah Carey's Christmas Time in
Las Vegas this November twenty eight through December thirteenth, Adobe
Live at Park MGM, and you could be going a
trip for two to the December twelfth show at two
Night's Day at Park MGM December twelfth through the fourteenth
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(00:23):
three nine right now for a chance to win. A
confirmation text will be sent standard message and data rates
may apply. It's all thanks to Live Nation.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Fresh Show. It's Kik's Court.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
All rise, the honorable kikileik oh Man A right chess, Kiki,
All right, what say you?
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Let's get in the courtroom. The gabble has been hits.
It says, hey, Kikey, I need your honest opinion because
my family thinks I've lost my mind. I canceled my
wedding three years ago. My fiance cheated on me while
we were on we were dating, we did the whole
therapy forgiveness, rebuild trust thing. Eventually he proposed and I
(01:03):
really thought we were in a solid spot. Fast forward
to last week. We were at the bar with his coworkers,
and one of them casually mentions, oh yeah, Carrie, the
woman he cheated with joined our team a few months ago.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
I froze.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
He never told me that she worked there, and for
six months at that I felt humiliated, blindsided. So I
left him at the bar, went home and called off
our wedding. Now my mom and sister are saying that
I overreacted because he didn't actually cheat again, and you
can't control where people work.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
But to me, the lion by omission feels just as bad.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
And if he was a trustworthy man, why would he
hide it? So am I wrong for calling off our
wedding over something that technically happened years ago? But it
feels brand new all over again. What do you think,
Judge Kiki girl almost called off my wedding over socks
this morning? So you know, sister, I feel you, and
(02:04):
you know how I feel about withholding information in a relationship.
You know, you can hide it from the world, but
you should tell your partner. I feel like I should
have known, or she should have known, that that woman
is now working at his job. I do think he
made a big mistake by not telling her. He didn't
withhold it, though, well, technically I think you did because
(02:25):
you know, if Carrie is now your coworker, and you
know the history that you and Carrie have, you don't
think to bring that up over dinner one night.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Why would you do that to yourself? Though?
Speaker 3 (02:34):
But then if you don't and your and your friend
tells me about it, and now we're in a worse spot.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
So I don't think.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
I think you're a little dramatic by calling off your
wed and I will be honest, I think this is
something that you guys can work through. But I don't
feel that he was completely innocent by not bringing this up.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
You guys with the jury eight five, five, five, nine,
one oh three five context to say number Noine, I
don't know why you'd walk into that again, I mean,
because it just it just sort of opens the wound. Okay,
you know, if you're so, so, he cheated, he got
caught or acknowledged it or whatever happened. They went through
the process, he's been forgiven. She she's good with him,
(03:09):
they're they're engaged, they're getting married. Everything is fine. So
why would he sit down and go, oh, by the way,
remember that threat from the past, Remember that that that
woman with whom I made poor decisions. Yeah, she's in
my life again now every single day, and so nothing
to worry about here, nothing to see. I just want
you to know that I don't know. I mean, I
can see both sides. I can see why you would
(03:30):
say something. I can very much see why you would not.
But we moved past it going.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
To the holiday party, you know, and then it's like, oh,
what is she doing here? Or what is he doing here?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
You wouldn't want your partner to have given you a
heads up that this person is not working with them
every day.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I just think you're asking for problems. I think you're
asking for it all to be dug up again. But
it's already been forgiven and and we've moved past it.
I mean, if he wanted to cheat with this woman,
he would do it whether she worked there or not.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
I agree. How do I know you didn't get her
of get heard the job?
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Well?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
See, there you go. This is what I'm talking about here,
we go down this rabbit hole. This is the rabbit
hole where you're just saying things now, Yes, and you
have no evidence of that, no proof of that. He
may have had nothing to do with it whatsoever. And
it doesn't matter because we've already forgiven him for the
indiscretion and we're trusting him moving forward. This is the
only way this works, except we're not if we're saying
things like that.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Okay, but I just don't believe you should withhold information
because you're worried about my reaction.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Tell me and let me process it.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
May we ask if it happened he just didn't tell her.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
Yeah, you didn't tell me and someone else told me.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
But withholding would mean that that you that you asked
and he said no, or that you know a lie.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
No, I don't because he does.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Don't want to go there again, because this is what happens.
And we start asking, a bunch of a bunch of
crazy things start coming in your brain, like oh, well,
now you're you're you're in close proximity, so you're gonna
slip and fall in a meeting and stick it in
her or something like no, you're not, like you know,
you're not.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
You're not going to You're not going to do that.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Hey, Hi, Mary's Court, you're the jury.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
What say you?
Speaker 6 (05:08):
Well, what I say is that on one end, I
do believe she's being a little over dramatic However, he's also.
Speaker 7 (05:14):
Not completely off the hook with this one.
Speaker 8 (05:16):
I feel like transparency is key to rebuilding that trust.
Speaker 7 (05:19):
And if the work was.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
Done for them to forgive and rebuild the trust, then yes,
being transparent, he is part of the work that everybody
put in, So why not bring it up?
Speaker 8 (05:28):
Why not say anything?
Speaker 9 (05:29):
Right?
Speaker 7 (05:29):
Unless somebody has something to hide, that's the only reason
they would.
Speaker 6 (05:32):
Keep that valuable information. I feel like, which gives the
other person peace of mind.
Speaker 8 (05:35):
But yes, she is but dramatic.
Speaker 7 (05:38):
I feel like this is something that could take a conversation.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
Clarity, maybe another couple of therapy sessions and uh, you know,
work through it.
Speaker 8 (05:44):
If the love is there, then just work through the issue.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, okay, all right, thank you, Marcy.
Speaker 7 (05:51):
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Haven't the day? No, I'm here, I'm here in different respectives.
Speaker 4 (05:56):
Hi, Lucy, how's you going?
Speaker 10 (05:58):
Guys?
Speaker 9 (05:59):
Morning?
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Lucy good more. Kiki's Court. So basically.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Peeboard together male female, they're together and dude cheated with
a woman. Now a woman works, and they've moved on,
the couple's moved on the forgiveness and the whole thing,
and they're engaged. They getting married and now the woman
that dude cheated with now works with dude, and and
he didn't come home and just tell her that, and
now she's canceling the wedding and the whole thing. He
(06:25):
didn't necessarily go back there. We don't think he went
back there. We don't know that she's just mad because
this lady's at work every day and he didn't tell her.
Speaker 11 (06:32):
What do you think I think what she key said.
I mean, he could have avoided any type of even
minor and insecurity that the girlfriend's going to have, the
fiance is going to have by saying, hey, babe, really quick,
super weird, she works here, and I know what one happened,
just so you know, and you leave it there and
then obviously she might.
Speaker 10 (06:51):
Be on guard.
Speaker 11 (06:52):
But I mean, that's what a relationship is. It's awkward.
You know, you got to get through it.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, I guess, I guess you could.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
But that's that means that you trust that you're not
going to continue to be penalized for the past, or
that you're not digging up all this stuff again.
Speaker 11 (07:06):
Trust like, hey, I trust that you're working with her.
Speaker 10 (07:09):
Thanks for letting me know.
Speaker 7 (07:10):
Listen, I was previously.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
Married and a lot was withheld and.
Speaker 11 (07:14):
If it would have just been told to me, I'd
still be married. So let me just tell you that.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
See, he screwed up, right, he screwed up by cheating,
But he I'm guessing he doesn't trust that bringing that
information up is going to result in her going Okay, now,
I remember that we've moved past this, so I'm not
saying it's her fault at all, But I think the
reason he's not telling her is because he's afraid of
her reaction.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
And I don't know that he should be afraid of
her reaction.
Speaker 7 (07:39):
That's valid, but that's valid.
Speaker 11 (07:41):
We all have fears, like if he loves her so
much and he's like, okay, sheardy forgave me once? What
if his pushes are over the edge? I get all that,
But at the end of the day, like I guess,
we all don't have a handbook on what's right and
what's wrong. But I just honesty. I mean, if he
learns now like honesty will always win, even if it's
super award, you'll feel better at the.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Thank you, Lucy, have a good day.
Speaker 8 (08:03):
Thanks guys, adore you by I have a good more than.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
I adore you. That's nice thing. To say, Fred, I.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Don't disagree with you often, but Kiki is right withholding
is not telling your partner. Your partner shouldn't have to ask.
But if your partner does, as you don't disclose, that's
a lie. I guess what I mean is if she
asked me and I lied, But like, what are you
asking about this woman constantly? Because again, we supposedly moved
(08:32):
on here. That's the biggest part of this. I'm not
saying forgiveness is easy, but she forgave him. There should
be zero penalty for whatever happens moving forward if she
forgave him and he's holding up his end of the
bargain and there's trust. For whatever reason, he thought he
would be penalized for bringing this up again. And I'm
not saying that that's that she did anything wrong, but
I just think like he doesn't want he doesn't want
(08:53):
that smoke anymore.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I understand what you don't want, but you brought the
smoke in the house, and so I need to know
that there's a new fire, and I need to know.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
About there isn't a new fire.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
The house is on fire.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
We go Hey, Christina, Hi, good morning, Hi, good morning. Hi.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Takes court, you're the jury, what say you?
Speaker 10 (09:15):
Okay? So I just called old Jos's a couple of
months ago, called off my wedding because I found out
my fiance was cheating on me.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I'm happened.
Speaker 10 (09:31):
I mean, that's a life and China the worst, but
for her, like I tried to make it work too.
And then you just find out new information and though
it's old information to them, it's new information to you.
And when you try to have moved past like the cheating,
(09:51):
the cheating is always there, but the transparency is what
helps gets you through it. And if he's nothing transparent,
especially about the the person he shed was now working
with him, like he's completely in the wrong. That is,
she has every right to be upset about that, because
omission of information is lying.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
But we're implying here, we're projecting onto him that this
is automatically a problem, that any overlap between these two
is going to be an issue. And this is a
guy who I don't know why we're not giving him
the benefit of the doubt. And again, the only reason
I would say this is because he screwed up for
how Connery came clean, and she chose to forgive him
(10:35):
what I cannot stand is situations where I forgive you,
but I'm going to it's going to be an issue
for the rest of our lives.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Well, then you didn't. Then you didn't.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Because this guy's got to have a chance to redeem
himself and you don't know him that, by the way,
But if you give him that, then he can't be
And I'm assuming he was afraid to tell her, as he.
Speaker 10 (10:55):
Should be, but he lost the benefit of the doubt
once he cheated a couple of years ago. So whatever
you don't tell her, she has all the right to
be obsessed.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I would agree that he doesn't need to fear her
reaction if in fact, he's living up to his end
of the bargain.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
So I don't know. I guess I understand exactly what you're.
Speaker 10 (11:17):
Saying, living up to his end of the.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Bargain because we have to, because we because we forgave
and we're trusting now, or we're not. And you again,
I'm gonna say one more time, you don't know anyone
that you don't have to do that, But then break
up because it'll never work if we're constantly living in
a world where this person's a threat.
Speaker 9 (11:35):
Yes, that's all I was saying about. She found out,
so that is that is a big deal. If she
would have told her up front, I feel like the
transparency would have been more okay.
Speaker 10 (11:49):
Work through this. But now she found out, so now
it's kind of like for me, I would be like,
you lost, You lost any chance of forgiveness or trying
to make it work because you weren't being transparently.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, here's what I would have done, Christina. I would
have said, I would have come clean. If this woman
comes in my proximity ever again, whether I see her
at the mall or at the car wash or at Starbucks,
or if I see her if she now works at
my business, I if my hands are clean, I would
have been transparent. But if I were to pay any
penalty for that, now we have.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Now it's to decide that I do.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Though, Kiki, because we because when you forgive someone and
you move on, that we can't every time this person's
name comes up, where every time you feel vulnerable, make
me pay again.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
But because we're moving forward.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
How I'm going to react if you don't give me
the opportunity, So give me the chance to see how
I'm going to react.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But what I'm saying is if I, if you do
react poorly beyond a certain point, now I have issue.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Now I have issue to say. Now, wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
I thought if I thought we were moving forward, I
thought we acknowledged that I screwed up, that I acknowledge
that we went through the process. So I don't know
I would cover my ass. But I also think I
would have every right if you freak out on me,
to be like now, hold on.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, and I thought we were good.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
She may not freak out on you, though, if any.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Right, And he doesn't know that because you didn't tell her,
So I would have said something.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Yeah, yeah, you let someone else come into.
Speaker 10 (13:17):
So he wasn't wrong for not being transferred in the
first place. That's all he was wrong.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
I'm telling you what I would have done. Whether I
do I think he's wrong or not, it's up to you.
But and you think he's wrong, so that's fair. Thank you, Christina.
I'm sorry for what happened to you, But onward and upward.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
Yep, it's more effishing to see girl.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Get a couple of ye you will be okay, Christina,
have a good day.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Okay, but she'll be ready.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
No she's not ready to hear it. No, she's but
that's okay, she's gonna be fined. Uh, Noel, how you
doing good?
Speaker 4 (13:47):
How are you?
Speaker 7 (13:48):
I love you guys so much getting married than you?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Are you excited that you're getting married after hearing all
these kiggies court stories about people doing this and that.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Oh yeah, because it's strict in his courting room.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Well, let me just recap here quickly. And this is
kind of a hard one to recap. But we have
a couple. The dude cheated three years ago with a woman.
They moved past it, went through the process, she forgave him, therapy,
all these different things, and they've moved forward. They're engaged,
and they had a wedding planted. This woman finds out
(14:20):
that the woman with whom her fiance cheated now works
where he does, and he didn't tell her, and so
she cancels the wedding. I'm saying, that's not I don't
think that's fair to him if in fact, we truly
forgave and move forward.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Noel, what say you?
Speaker 8 (14:39):
Okay, So I'm.
Speaker 5 (14:40):
Getting married in two months and found out that the
woman who my fiance cheated on me with is now
working with him every single day, and he did not
tell me. I would call the wedding off because obviously
I did forgive you in the past, but you're still
proving to me that I cannot trust you. Because if
you have nothing to hide and we're going to be
(15:01):
transparent and we're working on trust, you.
Speaker 7 (15:04):
Should have told me in the beginning that.
Speaker 8 (15:07):
You've worked with you And there's the disconnection.
Speaker 7 (15:09):
Now if he works late at the office or they
go out for a company happy hours, it's going to
cripple you, like it's going to literally cripple your mental
state and you're never going to.
Speaker 8 (15:20):
Trust him again. And I love you, Fred with my whole,
entire heart, but no, my reaction is valid.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
It has you chose to not tell me, and you
made this whole fire yourself, like you chose this life.
Speaker 8 (15:35):
And that's my reaction is because I can't.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Trust you any if I don't think this woman coming
in my proximity three years later or whatever makes me
untrustworthy for not wanting to open that wound again again,
what would I do? I would cover my butt and
watch your reaction and if you flip off, if you
fly off the handle, then I know where I stand.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
You haven't forgiven me, and we have a different problem.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
You didn't she didn't just come in your approximity.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
You didn't just see her at the stoplight, Broy, I
did every day.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I'm just I'm gonna give him the benefit of the
I'm gonna give him better death.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I'm gonna because I don't think. I don't think he
got her the job.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I don't think he's out seeking her and communicated with
her to being close. If he is, then he's in
the wrong, and then he should have been forgiven. If
he kneed all that, the dump is ass.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
But I don't know. I don't know how we live
in this world. Whereas I forgave you, but I kind
of did. But here's the term.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
It's forever.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
No one's asking you to forget. But we can't just
every time you feel like it, Pauline.
Speaker 12 (16:38):
It just well, I will, but I'm not run to
freak out. But I just don't want to be the
clown in the background that I didn't know. That's all
this really is, Like, Yeah, it might hurt when you
tell me. I might throw a fit. I might you know,
punch a wall, I might do all these things that
I might just do. The point is if I forgave you,
I'm with you, like, let me work through my emotions,
but be honest, just be straight up, like this is
happening at the office. This person is here. I don't
(17:00):
talk to her whatever, I'm just letting you know she
she is in the office withholding.
Speaker 13 (17:03):
Sometimes I feel feels like people are trying to control
the other person's reaction. Yes, fortunately, like you have to
do the right thing, but be prepared that they might
not react well, but that's not on you and you
can't control that period.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Thank you, Noel, have a good day. People are blowing
me up. Oh I'm so wrong. I'm strong. I told
you exactly what I would do, and it's the thing
that you want me to do. But what I'm hung
up on is that everyone is in here calling going
see he can't be trusted.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
What do you mean he didn't do anything? But see
what you're doing. But you're doing.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
The thing I'm talking about is we've jumped to all
these conclusions. We don't have any information. We've automatically assumed
that this guy went and called her up and he
was like physically humping.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Her and was like I'm going to get.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
You a job.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
I gotta be next to you every day so I
can physically hump you some more. I'm helping you.
Speaker 4 (17:55):
See it's cry He's physically humping you, guys.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
This is what I mean. You guys.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
You're saying, you guys are telling me I'm wrong, But
you're saying that you're you're jumping to all the conclusions
that concern me, and.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
You told me the conclusions would not be there because
I would have you on FaceTime at work all day.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
And then Calen's point is true.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Is I think he's probably not telling her because of this?
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Yes, I understand, but no, but that's up to me.
I get to choose how I react.
Speaker 12 (18:23):
You know, I don't care what's fair to you.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
You guys are saying, you're saying all the things that
I'm saying would prevent would prevent a lot of people
from going back there.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
That's it, Hey, Jill, how you doing it?
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Hi?
Speaker 9 (18:39):
Jill.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
I'm gonna give you. The final sake is they got
to move on? What do you think?
Speaker 10 (18:43):
All right? So, I mean, I'm all about this forgive
and forget because I've done it. My ex husband left
me twice for the same woman. He's now happily married
to her, and I'm happily with someone else. So worked
out for.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
The best good.
Speaker 10 (18:57):
And I will say I forgave and I forget. And
he didn't tell me when she came back into his life,
and I said, you know what, I forget. It's okay.
He didn't work out Fred. She should have been honest
with her.
Speaker 7 (19:10):
If she's back in his life.
Speaker 10 (19:11):
In any capacity. Now those terms have changed. She forgave
and forgot, but she was gone. The other current part
of the puzzle was removed.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Here's my other question.
Speaker 10 (19:20):
Sure comes back into the puzzle. You have to communicate
and you have to work through it.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
I hear all that, and again that's probably what I
would do in this situation, what I would do and
what and me try me understanding maybe where he's coming
from her two different things. But okay, So I come
home and I tell you, hey, this woman who is
I caused you amens?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
I did it? She didn't.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
I mean, she was part of it. But I was
married to you. I'm the or I'm with you. I
made the commitment to you. I cause you great pain
by being with this woman is now is now in
my presence every day at my work.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
What am I putting you?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
And again, I'm assuming that you're going to dislike that
most people would. But now now you get to relive
all of that, and for what Because I'm just assuming
this guy's not going back there.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Now. If he is, we have a whole different problem.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
But if we forgave him and we trust him, then
we're assuming that until we find out otherwise that he
is not. But now every day when I go to work,
you get to relive this until you don't. And I'm
saying that's not fair to her either.
Speaker 10 (20:21):
No, it isn't. But isn't it worse? Isn't it so
much worse that she does go to the holiday party,
Like someone said, goes to the holiday party and this
person's been working there for almost a year, You at
some point found out this person had been sleeping with
your partner.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
But is it worse when you find out he didn't
he wasn't doing anything, or.
Speaker 8 (20:41):
Better, you're back too.
Speaker 10 (20:42):
He cheated on you behind your back.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
But we're assuming he's not doing anything now just because
she's there.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 10 (20:49):
Sure, just because she's there. But it's the sense of
betrayal that he's now reignited by withholding the impromation.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
I hear, I hear all of this.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I think he's Dan if he does and Dan Ivy
doesn't in this, honestly, i'd probably you know what I'd do,
I'd get another job.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
I quit my damn jo dot Com. I quit my
damn job.
Speaker 10 (21:08):
I'm terrible.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I'm moving.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I'm here. I work at Wendy's. Now important forget Taco Bell.
I've moved on.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Jill. Jill, Jill, Jill. I don't work there anymore. We're fine.
Speaker 7 (21:19):
I quit more important Taco Bell.
Speaker 9 (21:22):
Here is Jill.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I don't know what you say, but have a good day, Jill.
Thank you for calling.
Speaker 9 (21:27):
Love you.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I love Jill.
Speaker 12 (21:28):
Now I'm throwing your hand at the holiday party.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
We've got shrimp contail. Come on going to the holiday
party because I don't work there.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Yeah, you know, tell me and then now get a
job there.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Now three of us here down, here we go.
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