June 16, 2025 • 15 mins
Fred reads a Reddit post about a husband who is frustrated with his wife after he overhears her say she feels like a single parent because she's a stay at home mom while her husband words... Find out what Fred and the crew have to say!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Fred Show. We have your chance to
win a trip for two to see Kelly Clarkson's return
to Las Vegas for her brand new residency studio Sessions
Live at the Coliseum at Caeesart's Palace on August first.
Text Sessions to three seven three three seven now for
a chance to win two tickets to the August first show,
two nights hotels day July thirty first to August second
(00:23):
at the Flamingo, Las Vegas and round trip airfare. A
confirmation text that we sent standard message to data rates
apply all thanks to the Live Nation. Ah Okay, So
here's our morality Monday, and this is from our friends
at Reddit. Am I the a whole eight five five
five nine one one oh three five you can call it.
Text the same number. My wife, who's twenty nine and I.
He's a thirty one year old male, have a three
(00:43):
year old son. I think some people can relate to this.
I work ten to twelve hour days as a contractor
while she stays home. Lately, she's been ventcing online and
to friends, saying that she feels like a single mom
because I'm never around. This is from the perspective of
the I'm the guy who works all the time. I
get this. She's overwhelmed. I am too, but I'm working
(01:03):
my butt off to keep us afloat. The other night,
I heard her refer to herself as a solo parent
during a zoom call with her mom. After she hung up,
I told her that I didn't appreciate that. I'm not partying,
I'm not neglecting our family. I'm working. She said, I'm
being defensive and that she feels like a single mom
because she handles everything alone at home. Now I feel guilty.
(01:26):
I don't want to invalidate her, but I also feel
like she's ignoring everything I do. Am I the ahle
for calling her out? I mean, she's not a single mom. No,
And if it requires ten to twelve hours a day
of this man working to provide their lifestyle, then it
sounds like they're both doing jobs right. He's doing his
(01:46):
job to make money, she's doing her job, which is
a job to raise the kids. But I hear this
argument sometimes when one person's at home and the other
person's at work, and that's a decision that was made
within the relationship that this is how we're going to
do this. And I hear this sometimes like, oh, it
must be nice, and I think that you can. I
don't know. I don't think one side always sees the
(02:06):
other side, you know, cause it's like my buddies that travel,
I pilot buddies. Right, they're gone for you know, a
week at a time. They've always been this for thirty years, right,
It's been this way forever. And then they come back
and it's like, it must have been nice to be
in you know, Dubai for a week. Must have been nice.
I was out here making lunches and driving a soccer
practice and it's like, well, first of all, you know,
(02:27):
maybe maybe it was nice in some regards, but in
other regards, like this is my life. I got. I
got aluminum, platinum, diamond, gold. You know, I'm the biggest
badass status at Hilton because I don't sleep in my house. Right, Like,
anytime you see somebody who'd like they when they check in,
someone hands them a bottle of champagne and like kisses
their feet. At first, I'm like, Wow, they're going to
(02:49):
get a really nice room. And then I'm like, in
order to get that, they don't ever get to go home, right, Right,
So my buddies. I talk about this all the time.
He's like, you know, I would much rather be here
with my family. I would much try to be here
on my terms. But I'm here because the boss needs
to be here. And if the boss calls me right now,
it says we're leaving, we're leaving, which means I'm not
at the bar. You know, I'm not partying, I'm not
(03:09):
on a I'm not riding a camel, you know, or whatever.
Like this is not my vacation. This is work, and
I don't get to choose when or where or how
or any of it. And so yeah, I guess I'd
get to sleep in a hotel bed and sleep in
sometimes and eat room service. But at the same time,
maybe I would rather be driving to soccer practice. And
then on the flip side, you know, you've got the
people going, you know, on the side of the person
(03:33):
who's doing all that, it's like, well, maybe i'd like
the night out sometimes or the night away, or maybe
I'd like the exposure to adults. Yes, you know, I'd
like to be able to go to I would like
to go to work for eight ten hours a day.
And you know, I know people who in this case
hits the man who goes to work and the wife
keeps a part time job, and it actually costs them
(03:53):
money for her to go to work as a flight attendant.
I've used this example before. But they do it anyway
because like, for him to stay home, he makes three
times what she does as a pilot, So for her
to go to work costs money. But they do it
anyway because for her, it's like, this is my independence,
this is my job, this is part of my identity.
I want to go on a trip, I want to
hang out with adults. I want to make a little
(04:14):
bit of money. He's cool for that, right, Yeah. But
I just I think that this sort of argument fundamentally
is based on one side not seeing the other, or
one side wanting some elements that the other sid. I
think everybody wants a little bit of the other thing.
But I'm just curious for those of you who deal
with this. If one person's primarily raising kids and one
person's primarily working, do you really think you could say that?
(04:37):
Is that a fair thing to say out loud? Because
it makes it solo parent kind of implies that the
other parent isn't involved or doesn't care. It's like deadbeat,
it's giving dead beat, it is, but it's the exact opposite.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Also, like, if you feel that way, it's not the
time to get it out on a zoom call when
it can just be overheard by your partner. And what's
sad is I think it takes both people to make
the raising the children work. It does, you know, And
comparison is the thief of joy.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
So yeah, I just I and if I heard, if
I heard, if this is me and I heard my
wife saying this to her mom, that's even worse because
it's like you're telling your mom that I'm basically about dad.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
True.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You know, I don't like to el is it L
or Ellie?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
This l.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
How you doing? So this scenario here, it's like you've
got the dad working twelve hours a day. In this case,
you've got the mom at home and the mom feels
like she's a single parent, and the dad's like, hey,
at first he was upset, Now he feels guilty. But
I don't necessarily think that's a fair thing to say about.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Him, not at all as a truly solo parent. This
just makes me so angry. I'm actually shaking because she's
still like she's not has to work, she's not worried
about the bills herself. She's getting support in some way,
shape or form, even though he might not be present.
So it's just it's just not something that you can
(05:58):
just say like that, because she's just not even realized
in the impact she's getting from having that man in
her life.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, I think that would trigger me too, because what
about the people who are in fact solo parents and
it all falls on them. They have to somehow figure
out a way to pay for the you know, pay
pay the bills and the mortgage and the rents and
the food and carry at soccer practice and figure out
the logistics of the rest of that. I mean, and
I'm I'm not minimizing one or the other, but for you,
you have to figure out both.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Yeah, and not to minimize it either, because she still
has to step up in ways that maybe she didn't
anticipate when they originally decided to have a child. But
I mean, I remember when I just had a three
month old and I couldn't even just go to the bathroom,
I couldn't just go down the street and get a coffee, Like,
there's just so much you don't realize that actually happens
when you are a truly solo parent.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
She's definitely the a hole in this one.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Okay, all right, fair enough, I'll let her know. Thank
you anyway.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
You guys love your show.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Thank you, love you too. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:54):
I mean it's a good point that you've made though, too,
where it's like you look at one side you look
at the other side right like you got it better.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
I know you got it better, but I think.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
It's also like for my personal experience, from my experience,
I feel like I'm looking at it that what does
his husband do when he comes home? Is he playing
video games? Is he disassociating from his family. I know
the ten to twelve hour shifts are long, and they're
lengthy and hard, but I feel like they can at
least come home right, play with the kids, make dinner,
like help out, because I think then that would take
(07:21):
less off of the mom who is home all day
with the kids. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
But let me and Okay, So there's a question. I
don't know the answer. I'm asking like an open ended question,
but is it fair for someone who worked ten hours
a day to then come home and take an hour
to decompress. Yeah, because what I think. I think sometimes
it's it's like, yeah, you, yes, you were at home
with the kids all day, But then am I expected
And I don't know the answer, but am I expected
(07:45):
to just after my ten hour day walk in and
then just take over the parenting role and then you
get a break? I don't know the answer to that,
But like I think, sometimes there's not a respect for
what the other one's doing. It's like I just went
to work. I just sat in traffic for an hour, right, Yeah,
I just had Spin up on me all day and
watched Miss Rachel for the thirty seven times. Sounds like me,
(08:05):
you know what I mean. So it's like, I don't know,
I've heard that one before where that guy comes home
he sorted he wants to go to bed. And it's
not that I don't know that he's a bad guy
or a bad girl or whatever, but like you're only
capable of so much.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Yeah, communicate, I think at a community with their partner.
How are you feeling this moment? Hey, I just walked
in the house, like, give me, you know, thirty minutes
and then I think, just you got to work.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
It out.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
It's hard, but you got to balance it some way. Melissa. Yeah,
good morning, Melissa, good morning, Welcome.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
What do you think so, I think that the dad here,
it's definitely not be a hole. She just needs to
reorganize her thinking to be able to include him or
incorporate him with more parental responsibilities. Like you said, they're
both performing a job. Here is the financial income, the
financial stability, the security there. She is providing the parenting here,
(08:55):
whether she wants it or not. If that's something that
she kind of normally agree to that that's just the
way it is. If she's not reporting somewhere to go
to and provide the same way he does, then she's
not the solo parent here. She's just they're just providing
different job aspects of the family part the being at home,
(09:16):
that being the parent like the absent or the present parent.
She's just the main go to right now for him physically,
but the dad is definitely there to provide for them.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, Melissa, thank you. Have a good day. Absolutely, because
I feel like sometimes people would switch roles even like
I know, I'll tell you what you think. It's you
think it's so great, you know doing this and the
other that you think it's so great, you know, going
to work and dealing with these idiots, Like how about
I stay home and I'll take care of my kids,
because you know, I think the other thing that's sort
of negated here is like maybe he loves I'm sure
(09:48):
he loves his kids too, and I'm sure he would
rather be at soccer practice or being the coach, or
going to the games, or or feeding the kids or whatever.
I'm sure there's bonding time that he's missing, right, So
it probably has moments where it's like, Okay, cool kids crying,
I gotta go to work by you deal with it.
But then I'm sure it also has moments where it's like, man,
I can't believe I'm missing that. But if he were there,
then who's making the money to pay the bills in
(10:10):
this case? You know, can you could flip it and
it could be the other way around. It's like the
grass is always greener. I feel like Ashley hi O
in this scenario, if you're just tuning in, there's a
woman and this is from the male perspective, but he
heard his wife saying that she is a solo parent
(10:33):
because he works ten to twelve hours a day and
she's telling people this, like her mom and friends, and
he's offended, and then he sort of vacillates on Well,
so I feel bad for saying something to her or not,
But this is the agreement that we came up with.
I work in a traditional setting. I pay the bills
and you take care of the kids. That doesn't make
you a solo parent. What do you think?
Speaker 6 (10:53):
No, she is absolutely wrong saying that she's a solo parent.
Speaker 7 (10:57):
I think is just really hurtful.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Have a two year.
Speaker 6 (11:00):
Old and a baby on the way in three weeks,
and my husband has a traveling job and his travel
is sporadic. He can up and go and I only
have a week or a couple of weeks notice, and
sometimes he's gone, you know what seems like half a
month and sometimes it's less.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
By no means am I a.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
Solo parent at all? It is very hard, especially with
two small kids. But we had a conversation, and I
knew his work before we made these decisions, and we
have to continue to have conversations about, hey, is do
we need to make a change? And I know job
(11:41):
changes and things like that they're not easy at all,
but is it do I need to go part time,
do we want does he want to be home or
do we need to make a change there or do
we need to make a lifestyle change, you know with
you know home or otherwise, And those are big change
and really tough decisions.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
But if it's.
Speaker 6 (12:03):
Bothering her that much, it's definitely a conversation.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Because she's not a.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
Solo parent at all. I will say that like, oh
I'm I'm I'm solo this week. My husband's gone and
we have a village that helps me out. So it's
just you got to talk about options, there was ways
to work things out. I'm with her, it's not easy,
especially with two kids being super pregnant, but by no
(12:31):
means am I solo mom? And that's really hurtful to
say about her husband.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, thank you for sharing. Congratulations by the way on
the new one in a couple of.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Weeks making more listeners, we got to.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Get you in. My understanding is as soon as that
baby's boy, is it boy or girl girl?
Speaker 7 (12:53):
This time?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Apparently Jessica listener number eleven is moving to like microneese
or something and like the John. I don't know if
there's a jungle there, but I'm understanding it's some form
of jungle and there's no internet, so we lost her.
So the baby just so we'll never be more than thirteen.
So don't even try and get greedy.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Okay, Okay, you gonna start. We'll let you guys start
the whole Matt Lee, I like it.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Thanks, you have a good day, Ashley. Thank you. Yeah,
we keep adding cities and we only have the same
number of listeners. Hey, Linda, good morning. Hi doing great,
Thanks for calling, Thanks for listening. So I'm gonna give
you the final say here. And someone brought up military
families too, by the way, which I mean there's one.
It's like people gone for you know, Shelley's husband gone
(13:34):
for two three months at a time, longer years at
a time, sometimes depending on what's going on. And does
that make that person any any less of a parent?
Would I would argue, No, they're they're they're doing what
they gotta do.
Speaker 7 (13:46):
What do you think, right, Well, I think the hardest
part of this, this whole argument, is that the role
of motherhood is always somehow less stressful than going to
work for twelve hours. My ex husband was an air trafficker,
broke one of the most stressful jobs in the world, as.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
You might know.
Speaker 7 (14:08):
And you know, I'm at home with two kids under two,
and all I want to do is take a shower.
That's all I want to do is take a shower.
And so you know, he comes home from work and yeah,
he wants to unwind, and yeah, you know, he's not
really interested in two screaming, you know, two year olds.
But at the same time, I need you to acknowledge
that my job is as important as yours, and I
(14:31):
just need to take a shower. And so there was
always that it was there was always that argument of
whose job is more important, and they both are.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
They both are important.
Speaker 7 (14:41):
But for me, I felt that as a mother, a
stay at home mother, my job was made less important
because of the importance of his job in the world.
And so I was just like, you know, can I
have five minutes to him. He's like, well, you know,
I've been busy all day and you know, my brain
I can't even think. And I'm like, I understand that,
(15:02):
and he's like, well, you've been home all day, you
know if that's a vacation. So I think in the
world in general, we need to give mothers credit for
how hard it is to be a mom full time,
and it is just as important, and it is just
as taxing at times, especially with two under two.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
I agree, I agree, but you know I hate. In
his defense, he's been dealing with you know, screaming pilots
all day that are just the same as babies audible hair. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
Right,
This is the Fred Show. We have your chance to
win a trip for two to see Kelly Clarkson's return
to Las Vegas for her brand new residency studio Sessions
Live at the Coliseum at Caeesart's Palace on August first.
Text Sessions to three seven three three seven now for
a chance to win two tickets to the August first show,
two nights hotels day July thirty first to August second
(00:23):
at the Flamingo, Las Vegas and round trip airfare. A
confirmation text that we sent standard message to data rates
apply all thanks to the Live Nation. Ah Okay, So
here's our morality Monday, and this is from our friends
at Reddit. Am I the a whole eight five five
five nine one one oh three five you can call it.
Text the same number. My wife, who's twenty nine and I.
He's a thirty one year old male, have a three
(00:43):
year old son. I think some people can relate to this.
I work ten to twelve hour days as a contractor
while she stays home. Lately, she's been ventcing online and
to friends, saying that she feels like a single mom
because I'm never around. This is from the perspective of
the I'm the guy who works all the time. I
get this. She's overwhelmed. I am too, but I'm working
(01:03):
my butt off to keep us afloat. The other night,
I heard her refer to herself as a solo parent
during a zoom call with her mom. After she hung up,
I told her that I didn't appreciate that. I'm not partying,
I'm not neglecting our family. I'm working. She said, I'm
being defensive and that she feels like a single mom
because she handles everything alone at home. Now I feel guilty.
(01:26):
I don't want to invalidate her, but I also feel
like she's ignoring everything I do. Am I the ahle
for calling her out? I mean, she's not a single mom. No,
And if it requires ten to twelve hours a day
of this man working to provide their lifestyle, then it
sounds like they're both doing jobs right. He's doing his
(01:46):
job to make money, she's doing her job, which is
a job to raise the kids. But I hear this
argument sometimes when one person's at home and the other
person's at work, and that's a decision that was made
within the relationship that this is how we're going to
do this. And I hear this sometimes like, oh, it
must be nice, and I think that you can. I
don't know. I don't think one side always sees the
(02:06):
other side, you know, cause it's like my buddies that travel,
I pilot buddies. Right, they're gone for you know, a
week at a time. They've always been this for thirty years, right,
It's been this way forever. And then they come back
and it's like, it must have been nice to be
in you know, Dubai for a week. Must have been nice.
I was out here making lunches and driving a soccer
practice and it's like, well, first of all, you know,
(02:27):
maybe maybe it was nice in some regards, but in
other regards, like this is my life. I got. I
got aluminum, platinum, diamond, gold. You know, I'm the biggest
badass status at Hilton because I don't sleep in my house. Right, Like,
anytime you see somebody who'd like they when they check in,
someone hands them a bottle of champagne and like kisses
their feet. At first, I'm like, Wow, they're going to
(02:49):
get a really nice room. And then I'm like, in
order to get that, they don't ever get to go home, right, Right,
So my buddies. I talk about this all the time.
He's like, you know, I would much rather be here
with my family. I would much try to be here
on my terms. But I'm here because the boss needs
to be here. And if the boss calls me right now,
it says we're leaving, we're leaving, which means I'm not
at the bar. You know, I'm not partying, I'm not
(03:09):
on a I'm not riding a camel, you know, or whatever.
Like this is not my vacation. This is work, and
I don't get to choose when or where or how
or any of it. And so yeah, I guess I'd
get to sleep in a hotel bed and sleep in
sometimes and eat room service. But at the same time,
maybe I would rather be driving to soccer practice. And
then on the flip side, you know, you've got the
people going, you know, on the side of the person
(03:33):
who's doing all that, it's like, well, maybe i'd like
the night out sometimes or the night away, or maybe
I'd like the exposure to adults. Yes, you know, I'd
like to be able to go to I would like
to go to work for eight ten hours a day.
And you know, I know people who in this case
hits the man who goes to work and the wife
keeps a part time job, and it actually costs them
(03:53):
money for her to go to work as a flight attendant.
I've used this example before. But they do it anyway
because like, for him to stay home, he makes three
times what she does as a pilot, So for her
to go to work costs money. But they do it
anyway because for her, it's like, this is my independence,
this is my job, this is part of my identity.
I want to go on a trip, I want to
hang out with adults. I want to make a little
(04:14):
bit of money. He's cool for that, right, Yeah. But
I just I think that this sort of argument fundamentally
is based on one side not seeing the other, or
one side wanting some elements that the other sid. I
think everybody wants a little bit of the other thing.
But I'm just curious for those of you who deal
with this. If one person's primarily raising kids and one
person's primarily working, do you really think you could say that?
(04:37):
Is that a fair thing to say out loud? Because
it makes it solo parent kind of implies that the
other parent isn't involved or doesn't care. It's like deadbeat,
it's giving dead beat, it is, but it's the exact opposite.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Also, like, if you feel that way, it's not the
time to get it out on a zoom call when
it can just be overheard by your partner. And what's
sad is I think it takes both people to make
the raising the children work. It does, you know, And
comparison is the thief of joy.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
So yeah, I just I and if I heard, if
I heard, if this is me and I heard my
wife saying this to her mom, that's even worse because
it's like you're telling your mom that I'm basically about dad.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
True.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You know, I don't like to el is it L
or Ellie?
Speaker 4 (05:18):
This l.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
How you doing? So this scenario here, it's like you've
got the dad working twelve hours a day. In this case,
you've got the mom at home and the mom feels
like she's a single parent, and the dad's like, hey,
at first he was upset, Now he feels guilty. But
I don't necessarily think that's a fair thing to say about.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
Him, not at all as a truly solo parent. This
just makes me so angry. I'm actually shaking because she's
still like she's not has to work, she's not worried
about the bills herself. She's getting support in some way,
shape or form, even though he might not be present.
So it's just it's just not something that you can
(05:58):
just say like that, because she's just not even realized
in the impact she's getting from having that man in
her life.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Yeah, I think that would trigger me too, because what
about the people who are in fact solo parents and
it all falls on them. They have to somehow figure
out a way to pay for the you know, pay
pay the bills and the mortgage and the rents and
the food and carry at soccer practice and figure out
the logistics of the rest of that. I mean, and
I'm I'm not minimizing one or the other, but for you,
you have to figure out both.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
Yeah, and not to minimize it either, because she still
has to step up in ways that maybe she didn't
anticipate when they originally decided to have a child. But
I mean, I remember when I just had a three
month old and I couldn't even just go to the bathroom,
I couldn't just go down the street and get a coffee, Like,
there's just so much you don't realize that actually happens
when you are a truly solo parent.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
She's definitely the a hole in this one.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Okay, all right, fair enough, I'll let her know. Thank
you anyway.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
You guys love your show.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Thank you, love you too. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:54):
I mean it's a good point that you've made though, too,
where it's like you look at one side you look
at the other side right like you got it better.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
I know you got it better, but I think.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
It's also like for my personal experience, from my experience,
I feel like I'm looking at it that what does
his husband do when he comes home? Is he playing
video games? Is he disassociating from his family. I know
the ten to twelve hour shifts are long, and they're
lengthy and hard, but I feel like they can at
least come home right, play with the kids, make dinner,
like help out, because I think then that would take
(07:21):
less off of the mom who is home all day
with the kids. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
But let me and Okay, So there's a question. I
don't know the answer. I'm asking like an open ended question,
but is it fair for someone who worked ten hours
a day to then come home and take an hour
to decompress. Yeah, because what I think. I think sometimes
it's it's like, yeah, you, yes, you were at home
with the kids all day, But then am I expected
And I don't know the answer, but am I expected
(07:45):
to just after my ten hour day walk in and
then just take over the parenting role and then you
get a break? I don't know the answer to that,
But like I think, sometimes there's not a respect for
what the other one's doing. It's like I just went
to work. I just sat in traffic for an hour, right, Yeah,
I just had Spin up on me all day and
watched Miss Rachel for the thirty seven times. Sounds like me,
(08:05):
you know what I mean. So it's like, I don't know,
I've heard that one before where that guy comes home
he sorted he wants to go to bed. And it's
not that I don't know that he's a bad guy
or a bad girl or whatever, but like you're only
capable of so much.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Yeah, communicate, I think at a community with their partner.
How are you feeling this moment? Hey, I just walked
in the house, like, give me, you know, thirty minutes
and then I think, just you got to work.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
It out.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
It's hard, but you got to balance it some way. Melissa. Yeah,
good morning, Melissa, good morning, Welcome.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
What do you think so, I think that the dad here,
it's definitely not be a hole. She just needs to
reorganize her thinking to be able to include him or
incorporate him with more parental responsibilities. Like you said, they're
both performing a job. Here is the financial income, the
financial stability, the security there. She is providing the parenting here,
(08:55):
whether she wants it or not. If that's something that
she kind of normally agree to that that's just the
way it is. If she's not reporting somewhere to go
to and provide the same way he does, then she's
not the solo parent here. She's just they're just providing
different job aspects of the family part the being at home,
(09:16):
that being the parent like the absent or the present parent.
She's just the main go to right now for him physically,
but the dad is definitely there to provide for them.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, Melissa, thank you. Have a good day. Absolutely, because
I feel like sometimes people would switch roles even like
I know, I'll tell you what you think. It's you
think it's so great, you know doing this and the
other that you think it's so great, you know, going
to work and dealing with these idiots, Like how about
I stay home and I'll take care of my kids,
because you know, I think the other thing that's sort
of negated here is like maybe he loves I'm sure
(09:48):
he loves his kids too, and I'm sure he would
rather be at soccer practice or being the coach, or
going to the games, or or feeding the kids or whatever.
I'm sure there's bonding time that he's missing, right, So
it probably has moments where it's like, Okay, cool kids crying,
I gotta go to work by you deal with it.
But then I'm sure it also has moments where it's like, man,
I can't believe I'm missing that. But if he were there,
then who's making the money to pay the bills in
(10:10):
this case? You know, can you could flip it and
it could be the other way around. It's like the
grass is always greener. I feel like Ashley hi O
in this scenario, if you're just tuning in, there's a
woman and this is from the male perspective, but he
heard his wife saying that she is a solo parent
(10:33):
because he works ten to twelve hours a day and
she's telling people this, like her mom and friends, and
he's offended, and then he sort of vacillates on Well,
so I feel bad for saying something to her or not,
But this is the agreement that we came up with.
I work in a traditional setting. I pay the bills
and you take care of the kids. That doesn't make
you a solo parent. What do you think?
Speaker 6 (10:53):
No, she is absolutely wrong saying that she's a solo parent.
Speaker 7 (10:57):
I think is just really hurtful.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Have a two year.
Speaker 6 (11:00):
Old and a baby on the way in three weeks,
and my husband has a traveling job and his travel
is sporadic. He can up and go and I only
have a week or a couple of weeks notice, and
sometimes he's gone, you know what seems like half a
month and sometimes it's less.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
By no means am I a.
Speaker 6 (11:20):
Solo parent at all? It is very hard, especially with
two small kids. But we had a conversation, and I
knew his work before we made these decisions, and we
have to continue to have conversations about, hey, is do
we need to make a change? And I know job
(11:41):
changes and things like that they're not easy at all,
but is it do I need to go part time,
do we want does he want to be home or
do we need to make a change there or do
we need to make a lifestyle change, you know with
you know home or otherwise, And those are big change
and really tough decisions.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
But if it's.
Speaker 6 (12:03):
Bothering her that much, it's definitely a conversation.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Because she's not a.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
Solo parent at all. I will say that like, oh
I'm I'm I'm solo this week. My husband's gone and
we have a village that helps me out. So it's
just you got to talk about options, there was ways
to work things out. I'm with her, it's not easy,
especially with two kids being super pregnant, but by no
(12:31):
means am I solo mom? And that's really hurtful to
say about her husband.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, thank you for sharing. Congratulations by the way on
the new one in a couple of.
Speaker 6 (12:43):
Weeks making more listeners, we got to.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Get you in. My understanding is as soon as that
baby's boy, is it boy or girl girl?
Speaker 7 (12:53):
This time?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Apparently Jessica listener number eleven is moving to like microneese
or something and like the John. I don't know if
there's a jungle there, but I'm understanding it's some form
of jungle and there's no internet, so we lost her.
So the baby just so we'll never be more than thirteen.
So don't even try and get greedy.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
Okay, Okay, you gonna start. We'll let you guys start
the whole Matt Lee, I like it.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Thanks, you have a good day, Ashley. Thank you. Yeah,
we keep adding cities and we only have the same
number of listeners. Hey, Linda, good morning. Hi doing great,
Thanks for calling, Thanks for listening. So I'm gonna give
you the final say here. And someone brought up military
families too, by the way, which I mean there's one.
It's like people gone for you know, Shelley's husband gone
(13:34):
for two three months at a time, longer years at
a time, sometimes depending on what's going on. And does
that make that person any any less of a parent?
Would I would argue, No, they're they're they're doing what
they gotta do.
Speaker 7 (13:46):
What do you think, right, Well, I think the hardest
part of this, this whole argument, is that the role
of motherhood is always somehow less stressful than going to
work for twelve hours. My ex husband was an air trafficker,
broke one of the most stressful jobs in the world, as.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
You might know.
Speaker 7 (14:08):
And you know, I'm at home with two kids under two,
and all I want to do is take a shower.
That's all I want to do is take a shower.
And so you know, he comes home from work and yeah,
he wants to unwind, and yeah, you know, he's not
really interested in two screaming, you know, two year olds.
But at the same time, I need you to acknowledge
that my job is as important as yours, and I
(14:31):
just need to take a shower. And so there was
always that it was there was always that argument of
whose job is more important, and they both are.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
They both are important.
Speaker 7 (14:41):
But for me, I felt that as a mother, a
stay at home mother, my job was made less important
because of the importance of his job in the world.
And so I was just like, you know, can I
have five minutes to him. He's like, well, you know,
I've been busy all day and you know, my brain
I can't even think. And I'm like, I understand that,
(15:02):
and he's like, well, you've been home all day, you
know if that's a vacation. So I think in the
world in general, we need to give mothers credit for
how hard it is to be a mom full time,
and it is just as important, and it is just
as taxing at times, especially with two under two.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
I agree, I agree, but you know I hate. In
his defense, he's been dealing with you know, screaming pilots
all day that are just the same as babies audible hair. Yeah.
Speaker 7 (15:32):
Right,
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