Radio Blogs: Jason Is Officiating A Wedding!

Jason is going to officiate his boyfriend's nephews wedding and their family has a lot of input on how he should go about it!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Tell them, Yeah, they talk better than they These are the.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Radio blogs on the Fred Show, and we're bena testing
our YouTube streaming this morning too.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Yes, we are beta testing.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
So you can see us on our YouTube right now and.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Search for the Fread Show and subscribe. It's a beta test.
I'm doing something to you. If you feel it, I
certainly hope. So Jason, let's do a blog.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Take it away? Thank you?

Speaker 3 (00:25):
So much pressure. Because I'm on YouTube live right now,
I know, all of a.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Sudden, it's like there are seven people what I don't
even if there's a seven, and several of them are
already in this room watching ourselves.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
So never mind, we don't have that many people.

Speaker 4 (00:35):
Yeah, that's yeah, that's harder. So deer blog. So I
have as we always do. We have a crazy June,
right There's a million things happening. It's Pride month. There's
just a million events we have to do. In the
middle of all of it, I am officiating my first
wedding in like a little over two weeks from now,

(00:56):
so I'm like trying to wrap my head around, like
how to work this out. So last Friday, Mike and
I had dinner with his nephew and his fiancee. Who
are the couple that I am whose wedding I'm officiating for.
And of course we went to our favorite Mexican restaurant
and it's your church. Yes, next right, you would go

(01:17):
all right? I tried to talk them into actually having
the ceremony there. Yeah, like me up there with a clergy.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Right, I assume you went through the arduous process of
the Universal Life Church.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yes, it's very hard.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
I have the badge. I have this certificate kit.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Well depends which kitchen.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Did you get the deluxe kit that comes with the
parking pass from the hospital?

Speaker 4 (01:38):
Everything I got like the top tier. I got a
whole packet of stop. I didn't even go through it.
There's like a magazine in it, Like I don't know
what it is, but I.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Know he conducts Mass on Friday nights at his favorite
Mexican restaurant. And instead of the chalice of you're a Catholic,
instead of the chalice of wine, which Margarita.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yes, that is the altar that I worship at.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
And then he wipes it and turns it and then
you know, you get your turn anyway, Sorry, sorry, sorry,
I digress.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Exactly that sounds like a great friend to night.

Speaker 4 (02:03):
So we had dinner and I brought and I found
a script that I was like sort of tweaking and
like working off of. So I was like kind of
going section by section, and they were like, no, we
don't want that, we want to skip that, we don't
want to do that. And then so I'm like, okay,
like I'm taking notes like whatever. They don't want to
shout out their dead relatives, got it, Okay?

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Cool? So I'm like, right, like, you know, pour one out.

Speaker 4 (02:22):
So then we're going through and then Mike starts chiming in,
who has vehemently said since the beginning of this process
that he doesn't want to have a role, like he
wants to be a bystander, right like he doesn't want
to have to rehearse how to walk, or he didn't
want to be an usher. He just wants to sit
they he doesn't like that, right. So but all of

(02:43):
a sudden he's got an opinion about like what I
should be doing. Right, So let's say he's like, well
it better be funny, like it better be your here
to entertain. I'm like, I'm not here to entertain, Like
I'm not here to be. So I'm like, is does
your whole family think that I'm going to be up
here like jef GM Comedy Hour, Like that's not what
I was planning, Like I was gonna throw a little
you know, pizzazz in it. I wasn't gonna like go
full priest, but like, you know, what's.

Speaker 2 (03:04):
Fun and I I have done many of these, and
I this isn't my idea. A few different people can't talk.
I can't talk this why I don't do them anymore.
A few different people gave me this idea. But I
can give you a questionnaire. It's a two page questionnaire
that you give to each person and it's just like.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
How did you meet?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
And it's a bunch of different things, and then you
give it to both the same question to both of them,
and then you take the information that they fill out
and integrate that into what you're saying. But you can
ask funny questions like I don't know about memories, like
what was your first kiss?

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Where was your first kiss?

Speaker 2 (03:36):
And you can even play off of the fact that
they won't get the answers right, like it'll be like, well,
this so they met here and they thought it happened
like this, so you get like personal tidbits that you
can then inject into the thing.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
I can give you my little script too. I got
a little script.

Speaker 3 (03:50):
Okay, yes, I'll take you out.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
You know, I'm a veteran of the I'm married three
lesbian couples at once.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
You were there.

Speaker 4 (03:57):
Because you were there, be trained, you know, learn from greatness.
But I was also well done. If you want greatness,
then we'll get you quickly over something. But like I
can give you, like just to get you through it.
I'll take what I can get. What I was also
thinking was finding people that like weren't giving speeches that
were really close to that, and so if it's like
their family or whatever, and talking to them at maybe
getting like a couple one liners from them right, like

(04:17):
so they have a little bit of presence in there.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
But I don't know.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
I'm like, don't try it, like put funny things in it,
but don't try and be funny. That's the biggest like
wedding speech gaff that I see from people is that
they write jokes right, and they're not comedians and they're
not speakers, and there's no fault of their own, but
they go up there and they're nervous already, and then
they lay out a joke that they were sure was

(04:41):
going to kill and then when it's like then you've
got eight more minutes of speaking to do, and you
feel deflated, So like, don't write jokes, like maybe put
stuff in there that's cute or funny. Yeah, but then
if you don't hit, then you know what I mean,
you feel bad. Yeah, like you're right because we're not

(05:01):
Chris Rock up here and Dave Chappelle. So yeah, okay,
this is gonna be the icebreaker. I'm gonna say it.
Within the first minute. Everyone's gonna laugh, and then I'm
gonna relax and I'm gonna set the mood and then
you then you do it. And if it doesn't get
the response that you if it's not like hysterical laughing,
like like Showtime with the Apollo, if everyone stands up
in the front row and they can hardly control themselves,
then then you feel bad about yourself.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
And then that's how you start.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
So exactly the rest of the exactly, so I don't know,
I'm getting really nervous, but you got this. I'll take
any and all suggestions and resources that you might have.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
You got this when I think of preacher, when I
think of priests.

Speaker 4 (05:38):
You know, a man of the word, Jason Brown, that's
how you got That's what Mike might be.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
He's like, you know, you need to have a handheld Mike.
You be walking around.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Either get involved or you get out Mike the mechanics.
You you find some rolling here, you know, either you
change out their carburetor or something in the middle of
this thing, or you can have a seat and then
stay out.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
Like you don't have to get up and do anything
like I have. Oh gosh, so yeah, I'm a little nervous,
but we'll see how it goes.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
You're gonna be fine.

Speaker 3 (06:06):
Thanks, You're gonna be great.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
You're gonna be great.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Now you're gonna wear like a full like you're gonna
have like a chalice and you're gonna wear like a
full robe.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
I wanted to give Popolo like, that's what I wanted to,
but with the.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
White hat they wouldn't let me. But really that's mainly
because it's sacriligious. But other than that, never mind.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
Oh, we gotta hit a church.

Speaker 2 (06:27):
So I remember when we married the uh it was
when gay marriage became legal in Illinois and we paid
for and we married three lesbian couples at once. And
I remember we did the rehearsal and the people, like
the parents were like not into it because they didn't
think I was gonna take it seriously.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
They were like, this is some kind of joke for you.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
And I remember at the end of it, one of
the mothers of the bride, it was not nice to me.
She was rude to me the whole time. Wow, because
I think she thought it was a joke. I think
she thought I thought it was a joke and I
did not. I took it very seriously. Yeah, And at
the end of it she was like, wow, like I
could believe how heartfelt that was, Like, you really take
it seriously, And I'm like, yes, I take other people's
love very seriously.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
I do. I take other people's lifelong commitment seriously. My
own not really