Radio Blogs: Kaelin Wants To Know When To Step In!

Kaelin asks the crew when it's okay to tell your friend's partner that something they said wasn't nice!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Fread Show.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
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Speaker 1 (00:29):
It's all thanks to the Live Nation. Yeah, they talk
better than they say.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
Tell me.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
These are the radio blogs on the Fread Show.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
You saw what happened when the guy allegedly did that
to Taylor Swift and he's I don't you know?

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Not great? The career aspirations after that. No, you shouldn't
grab people that don't want to be grabbed. You're not
supposed to know. No, no, no, don't do it.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
That's the more, you know, moment of the day, like
writing in our diaries, except we say them aloud.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
We call them blogs. Caitlin go deer blog.

Speaker 4 (00:57):
So I have to ask you, guys, if it is
it ever?

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (01:01):
For me to call out a friend's partner husband in
this case. Okay, So I was eating with both of
them recently and he said a comment that made me
want to jump across the table and smack him, but
I did not. I did not choose violence that day.
So we were eating and we sat down and he goes, Babe,

(01:25):
I'm starving. We didn't eat lunch today, and you never
miss a meal excuse. So there's a couple issues that
I have with this comment. First of all, seeing their fridge.
They have a ton of food in their fridge, so
if he was hungry, he could have made himself some lunch.
He doesn't need her to do that. Second of all,

(01:47):
I don't need anyone tell me I never miss a meal.
I don't miss meals, but I don't need someone reminding
me of that. And third of all, we both smirked
at each other, my friend and I, because what he
didn't know is we snuck through the Taco Bell drive through,
so we're not starving.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
We did not get him. I read book offended. Did
she look sad by it? Yeah? Yeah? Wow, Well I
do feel like it's probably for them to work out.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know that you need
to step in. I mean, I understand that the natural
desire to want to defend your friend, but I also
think it's like I don't know. I mean, when you know,
probably when you left, he got an earful about it.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
So I don't know. She actually asked me why I
didn't say anything. Really, yeah, I don't think that's your job.

Speaker 4 (02:30):
I don't think so either, and I didn't want to
get involved. But I was like girl, and she was like, yeah,
you should have said that, and I was like, oh, really, okay,
I don't know the rules.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, because I don't know, like I mean, obviously if
it were something like really hurtful, I mean, which could
that could be interpreting really hurtful, but like I'm physical
or something else, like yeah, of course you intervened, but
I don't know. I don't necessarily want to get involved
in people's no sense of humor or passive aggressiveness or
whatever it is, because I don't I don't know, and
then I stand to alienate myself from that gl inadvertently

(03:01):
if I'm overreacting. So I don't know. Maybe later I
would check with my friend and make sure that she
was okay. But no, I don't think it's fair for
people to expect you to jump in on their relationship
sort of squabbles.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
Yeah, no, she wasn't like upset with me or anything.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
But like when we talked about it later, I was like, girl, yeah,
you know, what did he say?

Speaker 3 (03:20):
I would just say one thing, okay, and I'm not
gonna go to the floor with it, but I will say,
let's normalize one thing, and that's making people uncomfortable when
they want to make someone else uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
Do you feel what I'm saying. I'm big on that.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
So like if Hobby ever said that, if he would never,
but if he did, I give you guys permission to
make him uncomfortable, like call him out on something.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
And I will be right there.

Speaker 3 (03:41):
Okaygg you want, I will cheer you on because I
feel like we give people too much permission to like
just I don't know, disrespect other people or say things
like slick stuff, you know, And if I don't stick
up for myself in that moment, I give you guys
permission too.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
But we don't have any perspective now.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Pauline, like we know now that she was upset and
wishes that that that camein, had come to her defense,
but in the moment, I don't know if that's not
just some silly little game that the two of them play,
and then.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
We could be silly together and I'm not being funny.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
I think it's for me to again, short of something
that's like dire, I don't think or dangerous.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
I don't know that.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
I think it's for me to inject myself and other
people's relationships because I got to think, if you're saying
it in front of me, in front of me, then
you don't mean you're more than I would like to believe.
If I know all parties involved, that you're not actually
trying to be hurtful, that you're being silly. Even if
you are being hurtful, but then that's for the other
that's for you to straighten out with your.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
Husband, not me. But I give you permission to be
just a silly back.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
And I'm only saying this because again, like we give
people too much permission and room and leeway to do
these kind of things.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
Just be silly back, be like, oh how about you
can't get up and make a sandwich yourself?

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Yes I can't.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
That's extremely combative. What you just I.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
But that's how I hate to say this, but that's
how you get yourself like not liked by the partner,
and then that's how it causes problems. And you can
sit here and say like, yeah, well, well that's their problem,
but then you're unfortunately, as we've all seen, their problem
becomes your problem. And I hear what you're saying, but like, yeah,
I don't know that in your home. It's for me
to be passive aggressive with you on your comment when

(05:16):
I don't have all the context.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
True, I don't blame you, Yeah, you don't blame you.

Speaker 4 (05:21):
We had just started the night and like we were
gonna be together all night, the three of us, and actually,
for once I held my tongue, which I've never done.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
Because you could have made the evening very uncomfortable. I
understand both sides of this, but it's like I don't know.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Yeah, but like with in certain situations and with certain
people and certain friends partners, maybe I feel that I
can I didn't know what was going on, and honestly,
the comment stunned me so much that I was silent
because I was like, what, you can't say that, especially
to a woman, Like don't say that.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
I guess you.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
Could test it by doing by responding self in a
self different any way about yourself. I guess you could
be like, oh, I know, I'm kind of hungry.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
Or I don't know something.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
You could say something like but I think if you're like,
I can't believe you just said that, you know, in
defense of your friend, it's like, oh, whoa, because then
all of a sudden, making gas like you and make
you look like you're overreacting, and then before long you're right.
The rest of the evening sucks because because you had
to open your mouth.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Yeah, I just I was like, oh my goodness.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
But I sometimes I have to tell myself, and I'm
not very good at this, and to your point, sometimes
I have to remind myself I don't have to have
a comment about everything. I don't have to contribute to
every conversation. My voice doesn't always need to be heard,
because I like to have something to say about everything.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
I'm learning. No, you're right, you're right, I'm learning this
is me. I'm talking about me. This is not this
is not me, like you know that projecting onto you.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
It's like, sometimes I want to have a comment about everything,
and sometimes it's like I need to say, Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
I was. I was very proud of myself because you
could have made the rest of your night really bad.

Speaker 4 (06:51):
I resisted an urge and I had an urge. But yeah,
it's it depends on the the friend, the husband and
the situation.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
And I actually, for once in my life.

Speaker 4 (07:00):
Held my tongue and I'm proud. But I was just
wondering what you guys thought about calling out someone else's partner,
because just word of wisdom for men or anyone, really
don't remind someone that they don't miss any meals.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah that's but again, I think it's the level of comfort,
Like if you knew, like there are people, there are couples.
I know them both well enough that I could say something.
There are some that I don't know the sense of
humor or the sensibilities or or the context, and then
I wouldn't say anything. But I think you have to
be self aware enough to know. In my opinion, now, again,
if it's if it's hurtful or abusive or someone, then

(07:30):
I'm a punch in his face periods.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
But I don't know.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
For all I know, right before I walked in, she
made a fat joke to him, and.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
Now you're punching him.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
It's never like those jokes are usually not funny, but
like again, I don't know what happened earlier in the
day or yesterday, or like what their little stupid jokes,
you know what their silly little humor is