October 22, 2024 • 16 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Joways on it's stay or go, Kyle. Good morning, Kyle,
how you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Good morning guys.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
How are you join?
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Okay man, let's hear it group therapy and state or go?
What's going on with you and your This is your girlfriend?
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Yeah, it is my girlfriend, Christa. We've been together for
about three years and I love her a lot, and.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
I just I have some concerns because.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
She's got kids and she's never introduced me to her kids.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
I've asked about this.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
In three years.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yeah, We've never been introduced, you know.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
So I've asked about this, and she always.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Has the same kind of excuse that it's, uh, you
know that she's not ready and you know, it's not
time yet. And I just I don't know what to
do because I was, like I said, three years and
I really do love her and I'd like to take
it to the next level, but I just don't know
if that's the right thing to do because I've never
(00:59):
met the kids, and I would kind.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Of like to have some sort of even if it's a.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Small relationship with them that they would be open for
me to, you know, enter their lives at this point.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Where do they live these kids? They live with her as.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Far as I know. I mean, she's lying if I
hope not.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
But I like this, Kyle, Kyle. This woman doesn't want
to marry you. She don't want to marry you, because
how can you be with somebody for three years and
you're both in the same page about a future and
after three years you have not met her children. I mean,
I would imagine they're very important to her, they live
with her, and for three years, you guys have somehow
(01:38):
avoided that introduction. I mean, I don't I don't see
how she could possibly see a future. I'm starting to
be uh, you know, Debbie Downer over here. But like
I can see, after weeks or months or maybe even
a year, I could see being protective over your kids.
We hear, We've talked about it on the show before.
We hear it all the time. I'm not going to
introduce my children to just anybody. But three years is
(01:59):
a long time. People have been married and divorced in
three years.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Or last I understand that.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And you know, this is the first girl that I've
dated that's had any type of.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
That's had kids. So I don't and I don't have
kids on my own.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So I don't know how I would feel or what
the you know, exact protocol is or you know how
long it takes. So I don't want to be pushy
or over you know, overstepping the boundaries. But like I said,
I'm kind of in this place where three years where it's.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Kind of a marriage.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Family because after three years, after three years, yeah, I mean,
if in fact you guys are both, if you're both
in the same page about a future, then I think
everything should be on the table after this period of time.
I mean, and I'm not saying you have to raise
these children or that you have to be involved day
to day, but they should know that you exist, and
(02:52):
you should have begun the process of immersion your life
with theirs, theirs with yours in some way if in
fact she intends to marry you. I don't think she
intends to marry you. I think you're a side piece
or something. Because I'm sorry, I don't mean to be mean.
I'm really not trying to be mean. There's not there's
something very wrong about this.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I know I and I hate I hate to have
the end it because I put up so much time
on this, But I do I think, do I give
them an ultimatum or something like say, hey, do I
meet your kids?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
They're you know? Or let me me your kids and
your husband are round. I mean, have you met any
other family members?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
I haven't.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
When I say this, you are a side piece, and
that's okay. You know, everybody has a role in life,
and for three years you have been her side piece.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I don't mean to meet them. Kids, just enjoyed it round.
I've seen pictures of these kids. These kids are real
like or is it like j C.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Penny pictures? Did she leaves the pictures in the frame
when she bought them at Target?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Took it home? Look at my kids? Well these kids
are black.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
And your wife, well you ain't seen my babby dad,
I mean my baby daddy, Kyle. I gotta take some
phone calls on this man. And I'm sorry, like I
don't mean to. I don't mean to, you know, dash
your hopes here, but I mean you did call us,
and and well we're going to tell you and.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
You guys are probably and you guys are probably right.
And I've been in kind of denial denial for a while.
I guess I just, you know, I want to make
sure I'm doing the right thing if.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
We do in upending it that there wasn't something more there.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
But it sounds like that, uh, this.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
May not be for me. So when is an appropriate time?
Because I feel like, how do you put a timeline
on when someone should meet your three years? You know,
I'm just asking the question. I mean, some people move
slower than others. I guess I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I mean again, I could see months, I could see
a year, I could see you know. But if if
this is someone you're gonna be with for the rest
of your life, then I would think that you would
want to try and and you mesh those things together
as quickly as you possibly could and as quickly as
is reasonable. That is not as as you possibly could
(05:00):
as quickly as is as reasonable as everyone's comfortable with it.
After three years at the very least, I don't think
she thinks he's going anywhere, So either she's using him
for something or what. But if after three years as
a future here, then he needs to meet her children.
And again he doesn't need to be their father, but
he needs they need to know exist, They need to
(05:23):
be comfortable with him unless there's something to hide here.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Right, what does she do for a living. Is she
a doctor? Is in the entertainment industry? Kyle? Is she
a pilot?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
No, she's a good job.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
She's got a good job. Well, I mean, I guess
as far as I know. I mean, if she's lying
about this or whatever.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Whatever her name is, that ain't her name name? She's
lying to you. You haven't met her other family?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Have you met? How many of her friends have you met?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I have met a couple of her friends.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Yeah, I exist at least.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Okay, Kyle, let me take some phone calls on this man.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Good luck. I'm sorry. This is tough love. I don't
mean to I'm not trying to be rude here, but like,
this is not right. This, this does not pass the
smell test. And good luck.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
All right. I appreciate it, guy, and I'll be listening.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Eight five five five five, Hey Jay, three years. This
guy has been with this woman and has not met
her kids or family.
Speaker 6 (06:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
I am a single mom. My children's father passed away.
I am their gay keyboard, and I am their protective
So some there are some guys they're ready.
Speaker 6 (06:37):
Oh, let's go to the next level. I just need
to meet your kids, we meet the kids. If it
doesn't go well with us, now my children are heartbroken too.
Now my children are in pain too. Or maybe you
get along really well with the kids, but we have
a conflict, and I have conflict with my children because
(06:58):
of that.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
To the next level.
Speaker 6 (07:01):
Then go to the next level, okay.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
And say here's a ring. I'm ready, but please understand
we need some more transficient times.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
But because I need.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
To meet the kids, Jay, three years is not the
next level. What is three years? That's a long time
to be with somebody to be playing around, and if
he's calling us, it does go I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
It assumes that she's playing around and not playing gatekeeper
for her children. If he's ready for the next level,
he can say I'm ready for the next level.
Speaker 6 (07:32):
I want to marry you.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Here's a ring, but I do need to be in
these kids life for a minute, and that's going to
delay that. So I would argue, after three years, why
is he playing?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
What I would say to you, Jay, is I think
that he needs after three years if he wants to
marry her, he has every right to meet her kids
and her family and for them to know me exists
before he puts a ring to agree. And again, if
you think this has ever been discussed, then she could
just say put a ring on it that you can
meet my kids. I don't think that that's the problem.
I really don't think that's what's going on here.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
I don't think as a as a woman, if you're
not ready to marry me, that's a you decision. I
would not say to meet my children, you have to
put a ring on it, because then that makes everything
all conditional about this, that and the other, and then
pushing you. That's not it.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
She is not willing.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
It could be exactly what you're saying, there's some secret whatever.
But as a woman, I promise you I dated for
a whole year and my children never knew I dated
because I did not want them attached. I did not
want them asking questions if it didn't work out. It
didn't work out, no hard feelings that my children are
not damaged.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
You're exactly right, and I agree with everything you're saying.
But there's a huge difference between a year and three
and and so that's that's why I'm out with is
a long time. But Jay and the fact that he's
calling us, he's usually a last resort, which means this
has been discussed and it's like getting anywhere. And they're
on two separate peoples.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
This should be a waiting by the phone.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Well, I think we ow to call her and.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Say this is how serious he thinks this is and
he just needs another context. See where that goes.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, thank you, have a good day, and thanks for calling.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yeah, there's something is very much not right here.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
And she said she implied to put a ring on
it and then I'll introduce you to my kids. She
basically said that did she know her are like crazy? No,
she did, but then she switched it up. You know,
things happened when you a city girl.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
We got things. You know. We just want to our girl.
But I hear her though her feelings are valid. She's
protecting her kids. I get it. She absolutely protects your kids.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Yeah, but you're still protecting your kids from a man
after three years and that's not the guy.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
She's not sure about them, that's what it is. Yeah,
she's in their own time and.
Speaker 7 (09:41):
That's okay, but she's not sure about them, and I
think that's I don't think she's married, nothing like that,
but I do think that she's still I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
We would need to ask her that, you know, three years,
she's not sure about them, I think so, So okay,
I'm never going to say never.
Speaker 7 (09:52):
But if I ever get divorced, like my whole thing is,
I'm not getting remarried, like I just I don't want to.
I'm exhausted, Like marriage is exhausting. It's beautiful, but it's tiring.
So well that sounds great, I can't wait. No, so
we're admiring it's beautiful, but I was by myself for
twenty nine years, so like it's just you know, I'm
used to my own way.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
It's not just it.
Speaker 7 (10:08):
And I love my partner because he puts up with me,
but no one else probably will. That's okay, I'm gonna
be to me and my daughter are gonna be great.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
My point is, wow, I'm I'm glad you've planned out
this entire life without Okay, anyway, so yeah.
Speaker 7 (10:20):
This is this is a what if scenario. But my
point is, like I know that I don't want to
introduce her, even if it's three years, because I probably
won't marry that person, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Like that to me doesn't seem crazy.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
But I but we're not. We're not taking into consideration
for one second. This man's needs, like we're all we're
seen to be worried about, is what's in it? What
is her comfort level? No, this man wants to be
married to her. He has a right to say, I
want to know everything about your life. I want you
to include me in all aspects of your life, including
that with your children, because I would assume they're important
(10:51):
to you, and you won't. So how is he supposed
to take her seriously? I very rarely advocate for the males,
but in this case, I'm like, if I don't think
she's convinced, I don't think. I don't think this is
the guy. I think she's wasting his time. I don't
think they're on the same page.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I think she'd find someone else. I'm sorry, Hey, Dandy,
good morning.
Speaker 8 (11:14):
Hey, good morning guys.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Love you guys.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
You want to say say or go?
Speaker 8 (11:18):
Yeah, she needs to go. I am a single mom
and I am a total mama bear, So I get
it a year completely correct. But three years she is
not into him. She is probably using him for when
she wants her needs mess, and the poor guy is
wasted a lot of time on someone that has no
(11:39):
consideration for him.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
This is very there's no way.
Speaker 8 (11:42):
And on top of it, Kiki, he's never even met
anyone else from her side. Right, this is not going anywhere.
And you do not have someone put a ring on
your finger before they meet your children, because what if
your children hate them? You are not going to then
continue to marry them.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
If you're if there's a major disconnect, like the kids
don't get the vote, but like what if there's a okay,
so you date a person for a period of time,
however long it is months, a year, a year and
a half, I don't know how long it is a while,
and then you determine, okay, this is the guy I
want to be with. Then you introduce the kids and
you're exactly right. What if there's a major disconnect. What
(12:20):
if the kids really don't like this guy, or he
doesn't like them, or they don't get along, or there's
just well, then you're not going to get married. So
then why is there Then there wouldn't even need to
be a ring. This is shaya not.
Speaker 8 (12:31):
Come before leaving the kids? Yeah, it never does. And
what if he's no good with the kids, then I
wouldn't want to marry him, even if my kids liked him,
like if he Some people just aren't good with kids.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Okay, thanks, appreciate you people have about Yeah, no she was.
But here's the other thing, so you can protect the kids.
Let's say this whole thing is about protecting her children. Okay, fine,
you don't have to protect your sister, your brother, your family,
your friends. Why don't they Why are they not involved?
(13:06):
Because because she's hiding something. Yeah, where are you guys
be hanging out? If the kids live with her, where
where do you guys go?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Right? What Christmas together?
Speaker 9 (13:15):
You know?
Speaker 10 (13:16):
My New Year?
Speaker 3 (13:17):
I know he's very uncomfortable with this. Hey monica, how
you doing?
Speaker 1 (13:23):
They good?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Are either?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Hi? Great? Thank you? Stair Ago.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
But by the way, just if you're just tuning in,
this dude's calling because he's been with a woman for
three years and she has yet to introduce him to
her children or her family.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
This dude is toast right. Yeah no, that's where you
tell me what you think.
Speaker 9 (13:48):
Well, so I'm sorry. So it took me a year
and a half when I started dating my boyfriend who
introduced him to my son. And the only reason I
did that was because I wanted to make sure that
it was going to go somewhere, and after a year,
you should already know where this is going and that
you know, your children should have some kind of relationship.
(14:12):
And again, if they don't agree or like you know,
they don't get along, then that's where you should know that.
You know, like you can't marry somebody who doesn't get
along with your kids, or you know, I wanted my
son to have a relationship with my boyfriends. Luckily for me,
it went really well and they have a great relationship.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Now, hey, Monica, you can do what Christan Cavalari did,
and that's introduced the kids right off the bat to
the twenty five year old guy that you're skilling and
before he heads down the hall to service mom like
it's and then break up with the guy. It's totally
normal to do it that way. Thank you, Monica. I
have a good day.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
You do.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
The kids like what happened to our what happened to
our video game buddy? You know, right, devastated, devastated? You know,
isn't that weird?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
That's weird? Hey Rosa, I doing good morning, Hi, good morning, guys,
how are you doing very well? Thanks for listening, what
do you want to say?
Speaker 11 (15:07):
Well, actually, I believe that it's it's been three years
and she has not introduced the kids. I would assume
somehow the kids and the baby daddy are.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Still, like you know, in somehow they're coming to.
Speaker 11 (15:21):
Visit or the kids go to visit the father, and
I feel like there's a relationship still with the baby
daddy because she doesn't want them to spill the beans.
And also, if she's not interesting into the family, it
is because she doesn't want the family either to know,
so they don't tell the father that she's dating again.
That's the only reason I would think that she would
(15:43):
actually isolate the kids.
Speaker 9 (15:46):
And her family at the same time.
Speaker 11 (15:48):
So he's being played.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, thank you, Rosa. I have a
good day. Okay, thank you.
Speaker 10 (15:53):
If she's not married and she does have these kids
and she's gatekeeping the kids, like when she finally tells
these says, hey, guys, i've been dating this man for
three years. This man is gonna lose lose situation, Like
you've been hiding this man from your kids for three
years as well, Like he's never.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Gonna be like, oh you you're dating this man for
three years tell us getting played and the kids are
gonna rade him out. He's a fat piece.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
The kids are gonna ride her out and be like, well,
I need another dad for I got I got main dad.
I got main dad. Every day you're talking about my
mom and dad will go up this morning together. But
what I need you for a minute sleep.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I'm trying.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
I'm not laughing at this gay, but I'd be doing.
The entertainmer reported two minutes.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Friendship
Joways on it's stay or go, Kyle. Good morning, Kyle,
how you doing?
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Good morning guys.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
How are you join?
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Okay man, let's hear it group therapy and state or go?
What's going on with you and your This is your girlfriend?
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Yeah, it is my girlfriend, Christa. We've been together for
about three years and I love her a lot, and.
Speaker 4 (00:21):
I just I have some concerns because.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
She's got kids and she's never introduced me to her kids.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
I've asked about this.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
In three years.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yeah, We've never been introduced, you know.
Speaker 4 (00:36):
So I've asked about this, and she always.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Has the same kind of excuse that it's, uh, you
know that she's not ready and you know, it's not
time yet. And I just I don't know what to
do because I was, like I said, three years and
I really do love her and I'd like to take
it to the next level, but I just don't know
if that's the right thing to do because I've never
(00:59):
met the kids, and I would kind.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Of like to have some sort of even if it's a.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Small relationship with them that they would be open for
me to, you know, enter their lives at this point.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Where do they live these kids? They live with her as.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Far as I know. I mean, she's lying if I
hope not.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
But I like this, Kyle, Kyle. This woman doesn't want
to marry you. She don't want to marry you, because
how can you be with somebody for three years and
you're both in the same page about a future and
after three years you have not met her children. I mean,
I would imagine they're very important to her, they live
with her, and for three years, you guys have somehow
(01:38):
avoided that introduction. I mean, I don't I don't see
how she could possibly see a future. I'm starting to
be uh, you know, Debbie Downer over here. But like
I can see, after weeks or months or maybe even
a year, I could see being protective over your kids.
We hear, We've talked about it on the show before.
We hear it all the time. I'm not going to
introduce my children to just anybody. But three years is
(01:59):
a long time. People have been married and divorced in
three years.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
Or last I understand that.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And you know, this is the first girl that I've
dated that's had any type of.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
That's had kids. So I don't and I don't have
kids on my own.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
So I don't know how I would feel or what
the you know, exact protocol is or you know how
long it takes. So I don't want to be pushy
or over you know, overstepping the boundaries. But like I said,
I'm kind of in this place where three years where it's.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Kind of a marriage.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Family because after three years, after three years, yeah, I mean,
if in fact you guys are both, if you're both
in the same page about a future, then I think
everything should be on the table after this period of time.
I mean, and I'm not saying you have to raise
these children or that you have to be involved day
to day, but they should know that you exist, and
(02:52):
you should have begun the process of immersion your life
with theirs, theirs with yours in some way if in
fact she intends to marry you. I don't think she
intends to marry you. I think you're a side piece
or something. Because I'm sorry, I don't mean to be mean.
I'm really not trying to be mean. There's not there's
something very wrong about this.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I know I and I hate I hate to have
the end it because I put up so much time
on this, But I do I think, do I give
them an ultimatum or something like say, hey, do I
meet your kids?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
They're you know? Or let me me your kids and
your husband are round. I mean, have you met any
other family members?
Speaker 3 (03:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
I haven't.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
When I say this, you are a side piece, and
that's okay. You know, everybody has a role in life,
and for three years you have been her side piece.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
I don't mean to meet them. Kids, just enjoyed it round.
I've seen pictures of these kids. These kids are real
like or is it like j C.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Penny pictures? Did she leaves the pictures in the frame
when she bought them at Target?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Took it home? Look at my kids? Well these kids
are black.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
And your wife, well you ain't seen my babby dad,
I mean my baby daddy, Kyle. I gotta take some
phone calls on this man. And I'm sorry, like I
don't mean to. I don't mean to, you know, dash
your hopes here, but I mean you did call us,
and and well we're going to tell you and.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
You guys are probably and you guys are probably right.
And I've been in kind of denial denial for a while.
I guess I just, you know, I want to make
sure I'm doing the right thing if.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
We do in upending it that there wasn't something more there.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
But it sounds like that, uh, this.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
May not be for me. So when is an appropriate time?
Because I feel like, how do you put a timeline
on when someone should meet your three years? You know,
I'm just asking the question. I mean, some people move
slower than others. I guess I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I mean again, I could see months, I could see
a year, I could see you know. But if if
this is someone you're gonna be with for the rest
of your life, then I would think that you would
want to try and and you mesh those things together
as quickly as you possibly could and as quickly as
is reasonable. That is not as as you possibly could
(05:00):
as quickly as is as reasonable as everyone's comfortable with it.
After three years at the very least, I don't think
she thinks he's going anywhere, So either she's using him
for something or what. But if after three years as
a future here, then he needs to meet her children.
And again he doesn't need to be their father, but
he needs they need to know exist, They need to
(05:23):
be comfortable with him unless there's something to hide here.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Right, what does she do for a living. Is she
a doctor? Is in the entertainment industry? Kyle? Is she
a pilot?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
No, she's a good job.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
She's got a good job. Well, I mean, I guess
as far as I know. I mean, if she's lying
about this or whatever.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
Whatever her name is, that ain't her name name? She's
lying to you. You haven't met her other family?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Have you met? How many of her friends have you met?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I have met a couple of her friends.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Yeah, I exist at least.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Okay, Kyle, let me take some phone calls on this man.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Good luck. I'm sorry. This is tough love. I don't
mean to I'm not trying to be rude here, but like,
this is not right. This, this does not pass the
smell test. And good luck.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
All right. I appreciate it, guy, and I'll be listening.
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Eight five five five five, Hey Jay, three years. This
guy has been with this woman and has not met
her kids or family.
Speaker 6 (06:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
I am a single mom. My children's father passed away.
I am their gay keyboard, and I am their protective
So some there are some guys they're ready.
Speaker 6 (06:37):
Oh, let's go to the next level. I just need
to meet your kids, we meet the kids. If it
doesn't go well with us, now my children are heartbroken too.
Now my children are in pain too. Or maybe you
get along really well with the kids, but we have
a conflict, and I have conflict with my children because
(06:58):
of that.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
To the next level.
Speaker 6 (07:01):
Then go to the next level, okay.
Speaker 5 (07:04):
And say here's a ring. I'm ready, but please understand
we need some more transficient times.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
But because I need.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
To meet the kids, Jay, three years is not the
next level. What is three years? That's a long time
to be with somebody to be playing around, and if
he's calling us, it does go I'm sorry.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
It assumes that she's playing around and not playing gatekeeper
for her children. If he's ready for the next level,
he can say I'm ready for the next level.
Speaker 6 (07:32):
I want to marry you.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Here's a ring, but I do need to be in
these kids life for a minute, and that's going to
delay that. So I would argue, after three years, why
is he playing?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
What I would say to you, Jay, is I think
that he needs after three years if he wants to
marry her, he has every right to meet her kids
and her family and for them to know me exists
before he puts a ring to agree. And again, if
you think this has ever been discussed, then she could
just say put a ring on it that you can
meet my kids. I don't think that that's the problem.
I really don't think that's what's going on here.
Speaker 5 (08:01):
I don't think as a as a woman, if you're
not ready to marry me, that's a you decision. I
would not say to meet my children, you have to
put a ring on it, because then that makes everything
all conditional about this, that and the other, and then
pushing you. That's not it.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
She is not willing.
Speaker 5 (08:18):
It could be exactly what you're saying, there's some secret whatever.
But as a woman, I promise you I dated for
a whole year and my children never knew I dated
because I did not want them attached. I did not
want them asking questions if it didn't work out. It
didn't work out, no hard feelings that my children are
not damaged.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
You're exactly right, and I agree with everything you're saying.
But there's a huge difference between a year and three
and and so that's that's why I'm out with is
a long time. But Jay and the fact that he's
calling us, he's usually a last resort, which means this
has been discussed and it's like getting anywhere. And they're
on two separate peoples.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
This should be a waiting by the phone.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Well, I think we ow to call her and.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Say this is how serious he thinks this is and
he just needs another context. See where that goes.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Yeah, thank you, have a good day, and thanks for calling.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yeah, there's something is very much not right here.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
And she said she implied to put a ring on
it and then I'll introduce you to my kids. She
basically said that did she know her are like crazy? No,
she did, but then she switched it up. You know,
things happened when you a city girl.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
We got things. You know. We just want to our girl.
But I hear her though her feelings are valid. She's
protecting her kids. I get it. She absolutely protects your kids.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Yeah, but you're still protecting your kids from a man
after three years and that's not the guy.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
She's not sure about them, that's what it is. Yeah,
she's in their own time and.
Speaker 7 (09:41):
That's okay, but she's not sure about them, and I
think that's I don't think she's married, nothing like that,
but I do think that she's still I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
We would need to ask her that, you know, three years,
she's not sure about them, I think so, So okay,
I'm never going to say never.
Speaker 7 (09:52):
But if I ever get divorced, like my whole thing is,
I'm not getting remarried, like I just I don't want to.
I'm exhausted, Like marriage is exhausting. It's beautiful, but it's tiring.
So well that sounds great, I can't wait. No, so
we're admiring it's beautiful, but I was by myself for
twenty nine years, so like it's just you know, I'm
used to my own way.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
It's not just it.
Speaker 7 (10:08):
And I love my partner because he puts up with me,
but no one else probably will. That's okay, I'm gonna
be to me and my daughter are gonna be great.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
My point is, wow, I'm I'm glad you've planned out
this entire life without Okay, anyway, so yeah.
Speaker 7 (10:20):
This is this is a what if scenario. But my
point is, like I know that I don't want to
introduce her, even if it's three years, because I probably
won't marry that person, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (10:29):
Like that to me doesn't seem crazy.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
But I but we're not. We're not taking into consideration
for one second. This man's needs, like we're all we're
seen to be worried about, is what's in it? What
is her comfort level? No, this man wants to be
married to her. He has a right to say, I
want to know everything about your life. I want you
to include me in all aspects of your life, including
that with your children, because I would assume they're important
(10:51):
to you, and you won't. So how is he supposed
to take her seriously? I very rarely advocate for the males,
but in this case, I'm like, if I don't think
she's convinced, I don't think. I don't think this is
the guy. I think she's wasting his time. I don't
think they're on the same page.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I think she'd find someone else. I'm sorry, Hey, Dandy,
good morning.
Speaker 8 (11:14):
Hey, good morning guys.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
Love you guys.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
You want to say say or go?
Speaker 8 (11:18):
Yeah, she needs to go. I am a single mom
and I am a total mama bear, So I get
it a year completely correct. But three years she is
not into him. She is probably using him for when
she wants her needs mess, and the poor guy is
wasted a lot of time on someone that has no
(11:39):
consideration for him.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
This is very there's no way.
Speaker 8 (11:42):
And on top of it, Kiki, he's never even met
anyone else from her side. Right, this is not going anywhere.
And you do not have someone put a ring on
your finger before they meet your children, because what if
your children hate them? You are not going to then
continue to marry them.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
If you're if there's a major disconnect, like the kids
don't get the vote, but like what if there's a okay,
so you date a person for a period of time,
however long it is months, a year, a year and
a half, I don't know how long it is a while,
and then you determine, okay, this is the guy I
want to be with. Then you introduce the kids and
you're exactly right. What if there's a major disconnect. What
(12:20):
if the kids really don't like this guy, or he
doesn't like them, or they don't get along, or there's
just well, then you're not going to get married. So
then why is there Then there wouldn't even need to
be a ring. This is shaya not.
Speaker 8 (12:31):
Come before leaving the kids? Yeah, it never does. And
what if he's no good with the kids, then I
wouldn't want to marry him, even if my kids liked him,
like if he Some people just aren't good with kids.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Okay, thanks, appreciate you people have about Yeah, no she was.
But here's the other thing, so you can protect the kids.
Let's say this whole thing is about protecting her children. Okay, fine,
you don't have to protect your sister, your brother, your family,
your friends. Why don't they Why are they not involved?
(13:06):
Because because she's hiding something. Yeah, where are you guys
be hanging out? If the kids live with her, where
where do you guys go?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Right? What Christmas together?
Speaker 9 (13:15):
You know?
Speaker 10 (13:16):
My New Year?
Speaker 3 (13:17):
I know he's very uncomfortable with this. Hey monica, how
you doing?
Speaker 1 (13:23):
They good?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Are either?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Hi? Great? Thank you? Stair Ago.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
But by the way, just if you're just tuning in,
this dude's calling because he's been with a woman for
three years and she has yet to introduce him to
her children or her family.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
This dude is toast right. Yeah no, that's where you
tell me what you think.
Speaker 9 (13:48):
Well, so I'm sorry. So it took me a year
and a half when I started dating my boyfriend who
introduced him to my son. And the only reason I
did that was because I wanted to make sure that
it was going to go somewhere, and after a year,
you should already know where this is going and that
you know, your children should have some kind of relationship.
(14:12):
And again, if they don't agree or like you know,
they don't get along, then that's where you should know that.
You know, like you can't marry somebody who doesn't get
along with your kids, or you know, I wanted my
son to have a relationship with my boyfriends. Luckily for me,
it went really well and they have a great relationship.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Now, hey, Monica, you can do what Christan Cavalari did,
and that's introduced the kids right off the bat to
the twenty five year old guy that you're skilling and
before he heads down the hall to service mom like
it's and then break up with the guy. It's totally
normal to do it that way. Thank you, Monica. I
have a good day.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
You do.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
The kids like what happened to our what happened to
our video game buddy? You know, right, devastated, devastated? You know,
isn't that weird?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
That's weird? Hey Rosa, I doing good morning, Hi, good morning, guys,
how are you doing very well? Thanks for listening, what
do you want to say?
Speaker 11 (15:07):
Well, actually, I believe that it's it's been three years
and she has not introduced the kids. I would assume
somehow the kids and the baby daddy are.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Still, like you know, in somehow they're coming to.
Speaker 11 (15:21):
Visit or the kids go to visit the father, and
I feel like there's a relationship still with the baby
daddy because she doesn't want them to spill the beans.
And also, if she's not interesting into the family, it
is because she doesn't want the family either to know,
so they don't tell the father that she's dating again.
That's the only reason I would think that she would
(15:43):
actually isolate the kids.
Speaker 9 (15:46):
And her family at the same time.
Speaker 11 (15:48):
So he's being played.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, thank you, Rosa. I have a
good day. Okay, thank you.
Speaker 10 (15:53):
If she's not married and she does have these kids
and she's gatekeeping the kids, like when she finally tells
these says, hey, guys, i've been dating this man for
three years. This man is gonna lose lose situation, Like
you've been hiding this man from your kids for three
years as well, Like he's never.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Gonna be like, oh you you're dating this man for
three years tell us getting played and the kids are
gonna rade him out. He's a fat piece.
Speaker 3 (16:16):
The kids are gonna ride her out and be like, well,
I need another dad for I got I got main dad.
I got main dad. Every day you're talking about my
mom and dad will go up this morning together. But
what I need you for a minute sleep.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I'm trying.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
I'm not laughing at this gay, but I'd be doing.
The entertainmer reported two minutes.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
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