Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Red Show is on its Stay or Go all right,
Beth is here. Hi Baske, good morning, Welcome to the show.
How are you okay?
Speaker 2 (00:10):
How are you doing?
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Beth doing great? What's going on with your husband? We
got to hear all about this. Some group therapy actually
going on right now.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Good, I need it. I'm sure I'm like a lot
of women out there.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
But.
Speaker 5 (00:25):
I'm not happy because it's football season and I lose
my husband during football season, so I need some advice here.
He's had tickets like his whole life, and it's just
that thing where every Sunday during football season, he gets
(00:45):
up early, he tailgates, He's gone like the entire day.
And I don't know even if I liked football, It's
not like I could go with him because we have kids.
But I need some advice.
Speaker 4 (00:58):
About how to handle this.
Speaker 5 (00:59):
I feel like if the roles or reversed and I
was going out drinking with my friends on like every
Saturday during the summer, he would look at me like
I was creepy.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
So I just do that.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Why don't you come up with some form of compromise.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I'm not I'm not saying that you're not right to
find it annoying but to to you, But I mean, like,
why not come up with some form of compromise.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Why don't you say, hey, I want to do this.
Speaker 5 (01:25):
I feel like I don't.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I just kids, I don't know. It just feels I'd
rather he just.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
Chill out a little bit, maybe go like half the time,
as opposed to being like full out everything.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
We don't know.
Speaker 6 (01:38):
Come on, now, what do you mean he's had You
said he's had these tickets since he was forever, since
he was a kid or whatever it is you knew
going into this relationship.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
What you get married and says you know, but something
as he well knows, looking like at reovill being all
big time. Oh you know what you tell you don't
what you tell the little lady over here that this
is what I'm gonna do. We just did a story
a couple of days ago about how you.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
You got tricked into not even tricked.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
It was well, you're welcome to come, but what that
meant is your ass is coming and you went so
you know how it goes?
Speaker 6 (02:14):
Yeah, but I mean this is this is totally different,
Like he's had these tickets forever, Like if you haven't
season tickets or something you not like it's it is
like you literally and so you don't want to go anymore.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
I mean, like his life is different now and that's
just the reality of it.
Speaker 6 (02:28):
But this is something that this is something that he's
had before before they were even together.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
So like some things, they don't have to change like
it does.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
I mean, let him have his thing like he's he
has like some passion for it, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Let him do it well.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
I used to stay out till four in the morning,
get the club and hook up with bottle girlsmore like.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
This, he's going.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Past tickets to the bottle girls forever. Stop Now like
he's going like it's only going to the home games. It's
not like he's going to every game, but leaving.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
In the morning, drinking all day.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Probably after knew that going into this.
Speaker 6 (03:05):
This is what I live, this is at this is
his hobby, this is what he's done for his whole life.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
You want to know the read to ask you this?
Go ahead, Polina was.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Well quick out. Let's say the reason why she can't
do the same.
Speaker 7 (03:15):
When it comes to like, I don't know, every Sunday
she'll be brunching in the summer is because I guarantee
you she's a default parent. So her doing that every
Sunday or Saturday whatever, it requires more work to get
everything ready, to get the kids, babysitters, all of that.
So it's for her, it's not even worth it. So
he is lucky he can even do that. Does that
make sense?
Speaker 6 (03:32):
And where this this is where Frick comes in and says,
you know, there's got to be some kind of compromise,
like is Saturday's her day or whatever?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
You know, Saturdays are for the girls. Whatever.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Let me ask let me ask that question. Let me
ask my questions, Rufio, thank you, Beth. Is he a
good father overall? Like outside of the whatever seventeen weeks
or how many weeks the NFL season is now?
Speaker 3 (03:54):
I mean, is this guy doing a good job?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (03:57):
I can't even Yeah, he's it's a great dad. He's
a great dad. Six dasaly week great. I gotta say
he's great.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Okay, So he's a good dad. It's not you know whatever,
ten home games, nine home games, whatever it is. He's
been doing it forever with his family, with his family, brothers.
I don't know who all goes to this thing. I
don't know why you can't go necessarily. Why can't you
hire a babysitter and then you guys go together occasionally
at least.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
I mean, listen, you're making it sound better than it feels.
Speaker 4 (04:31):
But I mean I hear you like, that does sound
like a good solution. It feels like a lot of work.
We have three kids, Like it's just a deal.
Speaker 5 (04:40):
But now that I'm like saying it out loud, I
feel like that sounds fair.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I'm not trying to make you feel bad about you know,
your needs, of your requests or or you know the
fact that you guys are in a relationship now and
have kids and have to do things together. I'm not
I'm not suggesting that. I'm not asking you to backtrack
on on why you called I guess I'm just wondering
if there's not a compromise where everybody, Yeah, you know,
you're not gonna get everything you want. He will get
everything he wants. But like, I mean, if he's a
(05:09):
great dad, doesn't I say something in itself about yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Is there where like I get a couple of those days,
But like I hear you, like.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
That's that just makes both parents busy one day though,
and I want it to be like the opposite.
Speaker 8 (05:25):
I would look at you funny if you did the
same thing. Yeah, that's just what goes with it.
Speaker 7 (05:29):
And also to you, I guarantee you if you go
out to brunch or whatever you do for the whole day.
I'm talking like, from morning till night, you're gonna get
blown up by your husband a hundred times.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Where are the bottles? Where's this?
Speaker 7 (05:38):
Where's the formula, where's extra divers I can't find this
because I'm a wife and I'm a father, and i.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Do daddy duties all day, all week, and I'm not
calling my wife.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Majority of men will.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
I will say to hold on, now, hold on, Not
every guy is a complete dumbassy. Will say that God,
like my brother in law, for all the crap I've
given him, is an extremely capable father. Now, my sister
will tell you that she does everything better. And I
love my sister, but I'm not sure if that's true.
That's what she thinks. But he does a great job.
(06:11):
And so I don't know that it necessarily means just
because you're not what And by the way, maybe this
is a complex that he's developed. I'm not saying this
is your fault, Bath or Pauline or whomever. But maybe
he's like, look, I'm not gonna do it right anyway,
So I'm gonna go to my football game and you
watch the kids, and that's what we're doing. Because he's
of the mindset that no matter what he does, he
(06:32):
won't be right anyway.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, no one does it better.
Speaker 7 (06:34):
I just I know how this game goes because I
live it and I understand it. That's why I'm more
comfy with my baby sometimes going to my mom's because
I feel like she won't be blowing me up. It'll
be a little less stress free. I'm not saying all
men are like this. I'm just saying from what I see,
especially on TikTok and social media, I'm not the only
one who thinks this way or lives this life.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
I mean, rufio.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
When Jess goes to work every day and you guys
swap right. You work in the morning and then you
come home, and then essentially she goes to work and
you watch the kids. You're not calling her every five
minutes asking her how to do it right? No, I
mean you're asleep, so it's not like.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Oh no, I'm kidding kidding.
Speaker 6 (07:10):
Yeah, no, Yeah, I got two kids. I take care
of a newborn, I take I take Ash into school.
Speaker 7 (07:17):
It's and you do, and you do a great job
with that. But I'm just saying I know how this
goes for a lot of people. Unfortunately, you can't. I
can't assume sure.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Every dad's the same, like they don't know what they're doing.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
But it happens a lot.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Does it does? But you know there are really good dads.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Out there, one hundred percent I have. I have a
good husband and a good dad. I want to be
very clear, but I'll call my my mom first.
Speaker 8 (07:36):
Even if dad's questions, it doesn't make them a bad dad,
right saying that boom aeriot. It's just different from others,
even scientifically it is. It feels different. Period eight three five.
You can context to say number Beth. I'm gonna take
some phone calls and we're gonna talk about you behind
your back. But but good luck with this. Have the
radio on and and thank you for calling her for sharing.
We appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
Thank you, Bob. Here's Bob stuck to Bob.
Speaker 9 (08:01):
Hi, Bob, Hey, what's up guys, Bob.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
So just to recap here, Beth calls this because her
husband has season tickets to football and he goes every
week and he has basically his whole life, and so
I don't know, seven eight, nine Sundays, whatever it is
a year, he's gone for the day and he's out
drinking and having a good time.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
She's at home with three kids.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Sounds like she's kind of over it and wants to know,
you know, how to how to manage this.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
What would you say?
Speaker 9 (08:32):
Well, you got She's got to do exactly what my
wife did with me when it comes to my golfing
with my buddies. She sat me down. I had to
come to Jesus moment. She said, are you an individual
or are you a team in this thing of arts?
I was like, WHOA. So that I really thought about it,
I was like, you know what, she's taking care of
the kids a lot while I'm working, and I was like, oh,
the guys want to go play around the golf, let's go.
She's like, no, get your ass home and be a dad.
(08:55):
And it worked. So that's what she needs to do,
you know. I mean, because again, either you're a teammate
because that's what husbands and wives are.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Or you're an individual.
Speaker 9 (09:05):
Doing your own thing on your own terms, and that's
when it doesn't work.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
So, Bob, there's no he goes to these games, you know,
on Sundays. And again I'm not minimizing her at all.
I'm not minimizing her complaint. But like in a big picture,
she says he's a great dad. She says, she does
a good job. There's no world in which he goes
to these games and then she they compromise and she
gets to do something else.
Speaker 9 (09:30):
Well, I mean it's like my wife wants to go
do something. I tell her go, Like you go to
that concert with your girls, go to dinner, go to
that long weekend. I got, I got the girls, you
know what I mean. And that's just the way it's
got to be. It's give and take, you know what
I mean. It can't be you know, if I'm working
seventy hours a week and then oh I go play golf.
Is an all day thing. For those of my fellow
(09:51):
golfers out there, It's not a three hour game. It's
an all day extravaganza and then you're going to have
some beverages afterwards.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
So yeah, no, Bob, No, it's not an all day
it's not. Oh, it's not all things.
Speaker 6 (10:03):
If I play golf and I'm allowed to play golf,
I play golf and I go home, I don't.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
I don't sit there like that's cool. Communicate to you, Bob,
because you're taking all days. It's like all day time customer. Okay, Bobby,
you're okay. We appreciate your calling.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Bob's ever gonna listen again. Thanks for whatever, due Bob,
you suck. I'm drinking all day and then I'm going
to eat lunch with my boys. No play golf and
get your butt, then get your A.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
S s home and take care of the kids. I
like grandit.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
That sounds like a lot more like you know, every Sunday,
or I suppose every Sunday when the weather's nice, firstus
a few Sundays during football. I mean, I do feel
like in the grand scheme of things, there is a
compromise to be hot here. You know, we're not talking
about hey all weekend. Every weekend, I'm gone all the time,
and you got to watch the kids, and I'm not
ever going to do anything else. I mean, if this
(11:10):
guy were a loser and a bad dad and negligent
in other ways, and then he also didn't care about Sundays,
but she said, hey, he's a good daddy, does a
great job, and this is the compromise and he's been
doing it forever. I just I think they got to
talk about it. Is what it sounds like. It doesn't
like there's a whole lot of a whole lot of
talking going on. Hey Jeffrey, good morning.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Hey how you doing? Hey man, what do you want
to sit? Welcome?
Speaker 10 (11:36):
You know what, I got a bunch of friends who
goes through this with their wives. This is what I
think a couple of things. I think that women know
before they get married what their husband's preature. Husbands go
through on Sundays.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
And they're fine with it when they're dating.
Speaker 10 (11:54):
What happens is that what they get there, they try
to change. They try to change what their husbands are doing.
I got a bunch of friends who went through that.
And secondly, things have changed now. Men are much more
hands on. I'm a husband, I'm my father, uh, and
I do a lot more. I've probably basically raised my
kids a lot more than my wife does because she
(12:16):
goes out and I'm an entrepreneur. I'm able to do
a lot more, be able to be their hands on.
I do a lot more things hands on with my
kids what my wife does, and so things have changed now.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
And Jeffrey, thank you man. I appreciate you calling. Have
a great day. Thanks for listening to I hear what
you're saying, Pauline. I do, and I think a lot
of people can agree with you because I think you
guys tend to take the reins and uh.
Speaker 7 (12:42):
It just is, you know, the default parent thing, like
whether we want to or not, that is what we
fall into as women for the most fart unless you're
the guy, which is called apparently he's raising those kids solo.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
I want to make sure that we're not that we're
not perpetuating any kind of stigma that that men are
incapable of doing this. And you didn't say that, and
I'm not saying I I said you didn't say that.
But I also think that there is an implication that
only mom can do it right, and with moms out there,
then dad's gonna screw it up. And I don't think
that's necessarily true. I mean, I think I think it's
also kind of a I don't want to say control thing,
(13:16):
but that maternal instinct that like I need to be there,
I need to do it, And I do think that
it's a real thing. I see it with my family
where mom has a really hard time letting go and
saying I'm gonna love you know, the kid's gonna be fine.
It's not gonna get done my way, but everything's gonna
be okay, and I can go out and enjoy my day.
I think sometimes not all the time. Maybe that's a
(13:37):
little bit self fulfilling, where it's like if you just said, hovey,
handle it and you left, I think you'd be okay.
The guy's a firefighter, he's a paramedic, like you'd be okay.
But I think you have to let yourself do that,
and I think for a lot of reasons it's difficult
for women to do that.
Speaker 7 (13:53):
Sometimes one hundred percent agree that you're saying. I think
with us, it's I'm working on it. I do, you know,
go to the store now and say, hey, you know whatever,
handle it. And he does a great job, and he
watches her every morning. They're together right now, like that's
his job is to be a father. When he said,
homies gonna watch his kid, I'm just you're right, I'm
trying to let go a little bit, and at the
end of the day, I still think that it's like
a primal thing.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
It's like this mental thing, like that baby was attached
to me.
Speaker 7 (14:15):
So I think I'm always gonna feel this separation anxiety
from her, you know what I mean. So if I
go out for a whole day, I'll be like, he'll
be calling me, I'll be texting him, and I don't
know if it's really worth it as much, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Well, I guess where I'm coming from here is that
she says he's a good dad. She also says basically,
I'm not gonna take the same days even if he'd
give them to me, because and I'm paraphrasing here, it's
just too much work and it's gonna be a mess.
He's gonna screw it up. I don't know if that's true.
I mean, she she herself said he's a great dad.
So I guess what I mean is maybe there is
(14:48):
compromise here. She's just not willing to see it. And
I think it's probably unfair or maybe unfair in some
ways to say, well, I'm you know, yeah, he says
I can go out with my girl on Saturdays, but
I just I'm not gonna do it because he's gonna
screw everything up. It's like, well, but you said he
was a great dad, so maybe he won't. Maybe you
should take those days for yourself and have a great day,
(15:10):
and maybe this is less of a problem because there's
your compromise.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, I think they need some form of compromise.
Speaker 7 (15:15):
Or like every home game or whatever, let's just say
maybe that's Sunday, there's something going on that she wants
him to be a part of. I don't know, the
pumpkin patch with Rufel or something, you know what I mean.
Then I feel like then he needs to not go
to this this football game, and that's it.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Period.
Speaker 7 (15:27):
But maybe, yeah, maybe he can't go out on you know,
every whatever game.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
If it's in town he wants to go, that's fine.
Speaker 7 (15:34):
But if there's something else going on or she doesn't
want him to go, I think that's also okay.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
They're a family now, they're a unit.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Oh, I think every Sunday blanket I'm going, there's nothing
to do about it, YadA YadA. I don't know if
that's that's certainly not the attitude to take. But again,
if he's offering compromise, and she's saying no, because well,
he just won't. He just won't get the job done.
She said it was a great dad, So I mean,
I guess I don't. I'm a little confused about that.
Hey Courtney, good.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Morning, Hi, good morning friend.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Hi, what do you want to say? Good morning? Thanks
for calling. Thanks.
Speaker 11 (16:07):
So I think it's definitely a compromise situation. But I
really just wanted to say, rufaio. This is not about you, baby.
You do not have to feel this defensive. You are
a good dad. You're doing a great job. This is
about their situation, and I think that there can't be
just okay, Well she gets the same amount of days.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
It is a different situation.
Speaker 11 (16:27):
He's taking it, however, many sundays away from the family,
like they need to have a serious conversation about priorities.
Speaker 6 (16:33):
I think I don't know where the defensive like defensive,
like what like I was offending you know, other dads
out there because of the statement that Paulina was making
that like the mom's better than that, you know what
I'm saying. So like that's that's why I was getting defensive,
because not all dads are are bad, but I'm sure No,
(16:53):
nobody's saying that.
Speaker 11 (16:54):
It's it's just every situation is different, and I'm I'm
a mom. I'm with you, Paulina, Like it is a
different situation leaving the kids at home than when the
non mom partner gets to go out, and like there's
just a different level of separation. And that doesn't mean
that he's not a good dad. It's just like maybe
they need to have some practice, he needs to stay
home with the kids more whatever to get comfortable. But
(17:17):
I just want to say, like you, it's not a
reflection on you as a dad if we're talking about
one person maybe not being a great dad.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
All the time.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Hi, Courtney, thank you. I appreciate you. Have a great day.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Yeah you too.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
No, I just I get.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Defensive over my brother in law because again, and who knew,
who knew years ago that I would be the guy
sticking up for him? And I love my sister so
much and she does a great job. But I came
from a long line of type, a very strong, stubborn
women who their way is the only way. And I
love them and I appreciate that, and I'm used to it.
I was raised by it. Forty three years. My sister
is one, my niece. My nieces will both be women
(17:52):
like that and they're strong and they're incredible. But my
sister will complain about the way Colin does stuff, and
he's these kids are not in peril at all. They're
spoiled rotten by this guy. He's an incredible girl.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Dad. He's incredible dad.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
And I think some of the things I hear about
are like, by God, there are so many women that
would love to have a guy who takes the kids
and gets them out of the house on Saturday morning
so that you can sleep in, and takes him to
the park and takes initiat him does all these things,
and he's fully capable of it. Now, is he gonna
do it the way she's gonna do it?
Speaker 3 (18:22):
No?
Speaker 1 (18:23):
But I think sometimes what he's combating is that maternal
instinct that you're talking about, And that's not entirely fair.
Speaker 7 (18:30):
Yeah, I mean, listen, I feel like there needs to
be compromised.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
But at the end of the day, I just I
don't know. I don't know. I'm not saying all the
other not capable because they are capable.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
You didn't say that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 7 (18:40):
It's just different. No, I know, but I'm just echoing
what were said earlier. But I don't know, it's just different, man,
you know, being a woman.
Speaker 6 (18:46):
I'm just saying like it's I mean, it's eight Sundays
out of three hundred and sixty five days, and it's
not like back to back Sunday sometimes.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
You know, he's only going to home games. He's not.
Speaker 6 (18:58):
They could be on the road for two weeks in
a row and they're together, you know what I'm saying
every Sunday.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
And a lot of people are texting too.
Speaker 7 (19:04):
Sorry, they're just texting and saying that, you know, she's
so selfish in that, but like why are we judging
like what bothers her or like what you know doesn't
work for her family? Because I think that's not fairy
that we're all like, oh, she's so selfish, she's such
a this and that, but like they're not their family,
we're not her like that bothers her, that bothers her.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah, Well, and someone texted Fred, being a good dad
doesn't mean you get to ignore your family one day
a week.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Okay, that's a little extreme.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Well, but I guess I guess that's the exact point
that I'm making is I just want to be sure
that and I don't know these people, right, I mean,
they call the radio.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I don't know the people.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
But I want to make sure that he's not offering
up a compromise and she's not deciding not to take
it because well, I don't know, it's just it's too
much work, or you know, because maybe it's that she's
just not comfortable with that, and that's okay. But you know,
just because he's gone every Sunday during football season, every
other Sunday or whatever, I guess I don't know that
(19:53):
that means we don't know the other side of this, is.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
All I'm arguing. You know, maybe maybe there.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Is a compromise and she doesn't want to take it,
and he's going to have to give a little more.
Maybe he doesn't get to go to every single game.
Maybe he's going to have to give in a little
bit more than he's already giving. But I think everyone's
just assuming that one person or the other is a
bad person here, or one person or the other is selfish,
and I think, you know, maybe there's a little bit
of going on on both sides where everyone needs to
(20:19):
kind of rethink how this goes, maybe I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
I don't know these people.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
What do you think that don't have a dance so
I can't play this game.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
That's it, Okay, that case, The entertainment reports next in
it two minutes friend Show is on