Stay Or Go: Paying His Co-Worker's Rent

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Bread Show is on. It's stay or go right,
Michelle is here. Hi, Michelle, good morning, Good morning Michelle.
What's going on with your husband? Stare go little group
therapy action here? Tell us what your scenario is, what
the situation is.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Yeah, so.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
I recently found out that my husband is helping his
coworker pay her rents after she fell on some hard times,
which feel you know.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
Right, I mean, yeah, that does feel a little weird. Yeah,
I'm feeling weird about it, and I just learned what
about it? Yeah? Okay, So what I need some more here?
So you you've been with this guy, you've been married
to him for whatever a few years I'm guessing.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
Right, yeah, yeah, about five years now.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Okay, And how do you find out that this guy
is paying his coworker's rent and then have you confronted him?
And what's the explanation?

Speaker 3 (01:03):
Yeah, So we were like at one of his work
parties and one of his other work friends was like, Oh,
it's so nice what he's doing for her, and I
was like, what do you mean? You know, So when
I confronted my husband about it, he was like, oh, well,
you know, she's a single mom. She fell on some
like she fell behind on bills after her ex left
her and her kids, and my husband was like, I

(01:26):
mean I had the money, so you know, I just
helped her really quick. And I was like, well, why
didn't you tell me anything? And he said he didn't
tell me anything because we keep our money separate, and
that it was a situation that he felt like he
needed to act fast on. But still, I don't know,
it felt a little too.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Secretive for me. Do you know how long it's been
going on? Did you mention? I mean one month? Is
it like a bridge loan? Is it multiple months? Has
it been a long time?

Speaker 3 (01:55):
So I don't know. I don't know if he's like
telling me the truth or not. You know, but he
told me it's only been a couple months, So I
don't really know what a couple means to him. You know,
I don't know if that means like a couple too
or you know.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
I mean, we didn't get these guys on here, and
let's morey this thing, and I want a DNA test
on this kid. Oh oh wow, I'm concerned. I'm worried
about this because that is not a normal thing to
do married or single. Just say, hey, let me pay
your bills for a while because you're going through a
hard time. It's a nice thing to do. But I mean,

(02:31):
I don't even know if as a single guy, I
would be comfortable with that. If somebody came to me
and were like, hey, I'm going through a hard time, like, oh,
let me just cover you for a while, I don't know.
I mean, that's a that's a very generous thing to do,
and it's hard to imagine there's not any kind of
emotion attached to that. And I suppose it could just
be that he's a nice person, but I would think

(02:52):
if there was nothing nefarious going on, that he would
tell you about it and come home and be like, hey, honey,
you know this, terrible things happened to my coworker, and
I feel compelled to help out. But it's the fact
that he's not he didn't communicate that to you ahead
of time that really worries me. Yeah, he hit it.
He hit it from her. Yeah, I mean, I think

(03:18):
that's something that even if it's his money, I think
if you're supporting another woman and her child, that you
would want to be as transparent about the process as
possible so that we don't ask questions like the ones
that we're asking.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Yeah, totally. And you know, it's like you said, even
if we, you know, keep our money separate, he's still
taking away money from our family. So it does confuse me.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
I don't care if you have all the money in
the family. Well, I don't care if you have all
the money in the world. I still think, you know,
you need to you need to communicate to your wife
while you're helping out another woman. And I don't mean
just person in general. Yeah, you know, I would say
if money is coming up, But again, I mean, they
keep it separate, but it doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
It's still our money. I keep mind separate from my husband.
We have no joint to cow it never will.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
I had no money. It's probably why.

Speaker 4 (04:04):
But either way, if he was to make a move
like that and help somebody out, whether it was a coworker, family, whatever,
Like we're talking about this because we're a unit.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
The Yeah, because if something were to happen and you
needed money and there wasn't, you know, as much as
you were expecting for an emergency or a health thing
or I don't know, air conditioning breaks or whatever, and
it's like, well, I don't have. I don't have as
much as you thought, because I've been I've been essentially
floating another human being. That would be something you'd want
to know ahead of tim. Do you do you think

(04:32):
there's more to the story? I mean, are you Are
you satisfied? I mean you're not you're calling us, But
are you somewhat satisfied that he's telling you the truth
and just trying to be a decent person?

Speaker 5 (04:42):
Honestly?

Speaker 3 (04:44):
No, because I feel like, you know, like you said,
I feel like if it wasn't that big of a deal,
he wouldn't have hit it from me. And even if
he did hide it from me, and there's nothing going on,
you know, we're married, so why are you hiding that
from me? You know, I don't I feel like he
lies to me, But this is making me nervous about

(05:04):
that too.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
And you know, I also think I wonder what this
woman thinks, or like what the terms are with her,
because I don't know if somebody were paying, if a
woman were paying all my bills, a married woman and
not telling her husband, I would assume that maybe there's
there's more interest from her, you know what I mean?
Like why because otherwise why wouldn't you just tell everybody
involved that what you're doing to help me? Why would

(05:27):
you keep it a secret unless you knew your spouse
was going to be upset about it? And then why
would your spouse be upset about it? You know what
I mean?

Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, totally.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, go ahead, Michelle.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
And then I was just going to say, you know,
like why did his Why did somebody else at work
know and not me?

Speaker 1 (05:43):
You know, like who told her? That's another thing? Yeah? Why? Yeah?
Why do what do people know? And now you yes, Kalin, Yeah,
that's weird. I don't know. I mean, I do know.

Speaker 6 (05:52):
People that do nice things like this on the DL
because they know their spouse will be upset with the money.
I'm not saying it's right, but couldn't it Like, isn't
it possible that there's not something sexual going on between
them and he's just a really nice person.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
It is possible, But why wouldn't he just go right
to her and say, I don't want there to be
any speculation or I don't want there to be any
misunderstanding about what I'm doing here. I'm helping this woman
out at work because I feel for her, because she's
going through a hard time, and then Michelle could object
to it, but it still is his money. If somebody,
you know, somebody could say, well, it's his money and

(06:26):
if he's making well, this is what Lisa's going to say,
hang out a sick Michelle. I'm gonna take some phone
calls on this. I appreciate you calling. Have the radio.
We're gonna talk about you behind your back, okay, and good.

Speaker 3 (06:34):
Luck, Thank you so much, thank you.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
Misch Charnie eight five nine one one three five. This
woman found out that from a cowork from her husband's coworker,
not even her husband, that he has been paying another
female coworker's rent to help her out during what I
guess he's calling sort of a precarious situation because her
ex left and she has kids and she needs help.

(07:00):
So he does this. She finds out from his coworker,
not even him, and now she's like, now wait a minute,
you know what, like what's going on here? Transparency would
be key in my opinion.

Speaker 6 (07:12):
Yeah, but I'm thinking if someone specifical who like knows
their wife is going to say no and he's paid
people out of his own pocket, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
I just I don't know. Hey Lisa, Hey, hey Lisa,
good morning. Thank you for Colin, thanks for being part
of the thirteen. What do you want to say?

Speaker 5 (07:28):
So?

Speaker 7 (07:28):
I don't think she has much of a leg to
stand on if their money is separate, because if it's
not affecting their day to day life, then it's his money.
He can do what he wants with it. But at
the same time, to not have a conversation with her
and say, hey, I want to help out my coworker.

Speaker 4 (07:46):
And financially we can do it, that's wrong.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
That's not okay.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
It's the hiding. It's a hide.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
It's disrespectful.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
But I don't like it at all. I again, I
think if you've got nothing to high, then you just say.
And if his wife Michelle had objected to it, well
then that's one thing that they can they can. You know,
maybe he chooses with his own money, assuming he's able
to fulfill all the other obligations he has, maybe he
chooses to do it anyway. But the fact he didn't
say anything. I don't like it, Lisa.

Speaker 5 (08:19):
Right right, that's the problem. That's the problem here.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, thank you, Lisa, have a great day. I love
you. You people are really on the text overwhelming response about
why are married people keeping their their finances separate? I
think a lot of married minors separate. Yeah, I think
a lot of people do that. Just we just do.
We just do it. I don't really believe in the
joint thing. I mean, I guess I do. If you're
paying like.

Speaker 4 (08:42):
A mortgage or something, right, it's coming out of an
account to pay bills.

Speaker 8 (08:46):
But why are we putting it all together? Have my
own mind separate? We have a we have a joint
savings account like our text returns. Go into that and
he'll do that.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Yeah, mister Nasty's here, mister Nasty.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Hello, that's not my radio family.

Speaker 1 (09:01):
Man. We haven't heard from mister Nasty a while. Mister Nasty,
what say you?

Speaker 7 (09:06):
What?

Speaker 2 (09:07):
What?

Speaker 1 (09:07):
What? What do you think? What? What's your take? Oh?

Speaker 5 (09:11):
He's in it.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Mister Nasty says that that Michelle's husband is hitting it
and that's why he feels obligated to pay her rent.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yep, absolutely, that's it's the only logic here.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
That's the only possibility, says mister Nasty. Is the kid
is do you think let's just let's go out there?

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Uh? You know, I would have to see the picture
of the boy.

Speaker 5 (09:34):
I'd out to go from there.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
But look, I know, for I don't even want to
pay rent for my wife.

Speaker 5 (09:38):
I live with her, so I don't you know, and
I live with my wife, So there's no way he's
gonna be paying rent into different homes and just be
nice about it like that, or not even say hey,
pay me back when you get on your feet, or no, no,
there's no way.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Yeah, mister nasty. I hate to say that every situation
where a man does a nice thing for a woman
that there's something sexual. I hate to be that guy
because I don't believe that. But this is not This
is not like let me pay for subway for lunch today,
or you know, let me let me help you with
I don't know, clothing for your kids or food groceries.
And somebody we're talking about this guy's been paying her rent,

(10:15):
I mean thousands of dollars and not telling his wife.
That is not good.

Speaker 5 (10:19):
Oh, especially not telling your wife that.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
That's what makes it even worse.

Speaker 5 (10:23):
Yeah, like my manth has been adding right up.

Speaker 8 (10:26):
There, another coworker knew about it, Like why don't you
get all the co workers to help this woman out?
You know what I'm saying, Like start a fun like
everyone pitch in and help this woman out. Like that's
your co worker too, But only one coworker is helping
this woman out because he only want to hate.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah, exactly, you guys.

Speaker 5 (10:41):
The co workers.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
A coworker might have been hating too. He might have
been like the friend from yesterday.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
He was trying to get me you can't afford to
pay your rent, so she doesn't care about it. Only brilliant,
Thank you, mister Nancy. Good to hear from you. Have
a good day, all right, man, let's yeah. And then
somebody said I would love to know. I should Uh,
I should text my friend divorce attorney Morgan and see
if this is true. But even if you have separate

(11:08):
accounts and you're married, the money, according to the texture,
the money would still be partially hers. Yes, because in fairness,
that's great. I don't know how the law really is
on like separate accounts, but what I do know is,
you know, rufo, God forbid, you get a divorce just
because everything right, just because the money is in your account,
You're still going to have a lot of obligation. So technically,
if he's spending money that he might have to spend

(11:30):
on the family, on another person and not talking about it.
I think that's going to be a problem. Hey Salem, oh, hi, Hey,
what do you want to say? Good morning?

Speaker 2 (11:41):
So I guess what I wanted to say is the
biggest thing is, like I guess, transparency. And you know,
if he wasn't upfront or transparent. I know my boyfriend
does a lot of wonderful things for people, probably one
of the reasons why I got with him. You know,
it's one thing if it's something that like he does

(12:02):
on the daily for like everyone, I feel where it's
different if it's for just one person in particular. Like
I said, my biggest thing is transparency, and if he
wasn't upfront with something like that, I feel like that's
a big red flag, you know.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah, yeah, I think that's the key here. The key
here is the fact that she had to find out
this way because without the co worker, she would still
not know.

Speaker 2 (12:25):
Right exactly, you know, and like I don't know personally,
if it was something like that, I would like to
be upfront with my significant other, especially if anything were
to come up, you know, because again, that raises a
lot of red flags. And I understand that you guys
have different bank accounts, but you know, you guys are
a family unit, you know, and he everyone has to

(12:48):
make sure that they meet their obligations. So yeah, hopefully
he's meeting his obligations and whatnot. But still it just
it interrupts me the wrong way. And I don't know,
having great day.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
He's taking care of their family.

Speaker 4 (13:06):
Their family.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, I'm will missing nasty. There's no other way around.
There's no other scenario here. This man is up to something,
because if you weren't up to something, he would have
just told everybody what he was doing, right, and by everybody,
I mean his wife, right. And since he didn't his partner,
I want a DNA test on my desk, stat The
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