November 12, 2024 • 15 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Fread show is on. It's Stay or Go night Lily.
It's here, High Lily, good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Welcome, Hi, thank you, good.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Morning, literally, welcome to the program. What's going on? Stairgo
group therapy here? Tell us everything?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah. So I have been married to my husband, Jacob
for two years now, and we have the most beautiful,
precious eight year eight month old daughter. So my husband
is a police officer, so he unfortunately does have to
work on Thanksgiving, which thanks I hate that for him
and for all of us. And it's my daughter's first Thanksgiving,
(00:40):
so that makes it even a little bit more, you know,
not so fun that he can't be there.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
But it is what it is.
Speaker 5 (00:48):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
And the other day, Jacob's mom sent me a text
and asked if she could take our daughter for a
couple hours on Thanksgiving. But she didn't say anything about me,
like she didn't invite me as well.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Okay, and he wants to pick up the baby and
and she goes to do whatever, and I don't know,
you're supposed to just chill because your husband's at work,
and now the baby's gone, okay, all right exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
And I was just shocked by that. I feel like
I have a good relationship with her. You know, I
didn't think anything was you know, wrong, and so it
just kind of took me by surprise that that she
would ask for that. So I told my husband about it,
and he seems to think it's not a big deal,
and and he said he just like he doesn't want
(01:42):
to get in the middle of it.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
And then he said like, well.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Maybe I can just go to my family's house thence
he's not going to be home anyways, and that he
just doesn't want to be around with, you know, getting
in between me and his mom. And I'm really hurt
by that.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Are you sure, Lily, that the mom like that they're
going and having a full on Thanksgiving meal or Thanksgiving
you know, festivities or whatever, and that you're not being
included or is this more of a I'm gonna swing
by and take the baby because I'm off and I'm
you know, I don't know, is there a nice gesture
like is it, hey, I'm gonna swing by and give
you a couple hours on your own or whatever, because
it would be one thing, I guess if you're being
(02:23):
excluded from an entire function and they're bringing your kid
and you don't get to go. It's another thing if
this person just has some extra time and wants to
hang out with your kid.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
I do know that they usually have a big, you know,
get together on tapes.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Okay, so you're potentially not being invited then to Thanksgiving
dinner for some reason, and you're supposed to go hang
with your parents and your husband doesn't want to get involved.
I mean, couldn't I guess your husband could at least
ask the question like, Hey, I'm not around today, why
can't we do something that includes Lily and the baby?
Because trust me, ye, like I said, as an uncle,
and my mom now has grandkids, my mom would love
(03:01):
nothing more than to come by, take the kids and
leave my sister's ass at home like she loves my sister.
But a hold on a second, though, Any grandparents listening
right now know what I'm talking about. True, they want
the grandkids. They don't always want their kid. They've had
thirty some years of that. They're good, They're all set there.
They want bonding time with the kid. So I guess
it would be important to differentiate between is this bonding
(03:23):
time with mom? Or is this you're being excluded from
a family function right, I mean, wouldn't that be an
important distinction?
Speaker 6 (03:31):
For sure?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I mean, and also it is her first Thanksgiving? So
why would I not want to be with my daughter
thank you on a first Thanksgiving?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
But your husband won't even ask the question. It's almost
like he knows. It's almost like he knows she doesn't
like you or something. Have you guys ever had issues before?
I mean, have you ever been led to believe that
his mom wasn't a fan or his family wasn't a fan.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I definitely we've had situations where he's taken her side.
He has been, you know, a little bit of a
mama's boy. Importunately, I hate to say that, but yeah,
we have had some situations where you know, he wants
me to be the bigger person, but it means you know,
she's kind of getting her way.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Okay, so he knows something.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Then he knows something, and he doesn't want to get
involved because he knows it to fight because if it
were just something as simple as let me treating this out,
let me she I don't know that you shouldn't have
to be alone on Thanksgiving out and she's trying to
take the kid to lunch, and well, you should go.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
To or whatever.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
But why does it have to be a fight? Like
you know what I mean?
Speaker 7 (04:26):
Like, you're married to that woman, that is your wife,
your family, the mother of your child.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
Why not say something to your mom?
Speaker 7 (04:32):
Not saying you got to box it out with your mom,
but you can say something of is Lily invited you
for your you know, why isn't she coming to Like
they're they're a package deal, mom and baby go together.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
No, I'm saying we're saying the same thing. He should.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
He should be asking that question. I think the reason
he's not is because he knows they don't like it,
they don't like her.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
He's got to figure that out.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
I agree, But it sounds like there's a much bigger
issue here because if it was just a communication thing,
that's one thing. But the fact he doesn't want to
get involved means that it's going to be some form
of battle between he and his mom that he doesn't want.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
That shouldn't be. But he's got to say something.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
Right, No, I mean, I agree, he absolutely does. I'm sorry.
Speaker 7 (05:11):
I'm tired of these mama's boys who want to like,
not get involved. I don't want to ruffle feathers like no, like,
you're married, that's your family.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Dude, Like, stop, hey, Lily, just do what Paulina does
and text her yourself and rad his ass out.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
I'll help you. Girl, be like, hey, well she did.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
She takes it.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Hey, your punkcast son won't defend me. So here I am.
I got questions. Why can't I know, I don't don't
be combative, But have you have you considered asking a
question like hey, can I come to I mean, I
know that's like you don't want to have to do that,
you want to be invited, But have you And maybe
it's that simple. Maybe she'd be like, oh, yeah, I
thought maybe you you wanted a break or something, because
(05:48):
having a newborn or at least a toddler at this
stage is a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah, I mean I have thought about it. I I
do just hate the fact that this is on me now.
I don't feel like this should be something I have
to do that I feel alone in. And I think
you're right, this is maybe a bigger issue.
Speaker 8 (06:07):
With my husband.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I kind of want to give the mother in law
the benefit of the doubt. What like, I think you
should just send the text Lily, like, hey, I would
love to come to or what's going on over there,
because honestly, maybe the mother in law is assuming that
because her her son has to work, that Lily is
already going to be with her family, and instead of
her being like, well, I want to rip you and
the baby away from your family to come spend time
with us, even though my son is not going to
(06:31):
be there, maybe I'll just be polite and say, hey,
do you mind if we see the baby? Because I
know you're going to say family then say that she
did not like but that's not the same thing. But
I'm saying she can maybe just giving her the benefit
of the doubt. Maybe she's you've had no history of
problems with her in the past. Why would she just
choose violence on Thanksgiving?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Because I remember people are texting, like hey, five hours
or several hours of silence seems kind of amazing, And
that's what that's what this woman's getting given.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Say, a holiday, right, holiday right?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Not not a national holidays. Because I'm assuming Lily, you
were going to split time between both families anyway your family.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Husband was not working.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Probably no, because.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
That's how that's I mean, that's the normal dynamic. If
there's families that both families are in town. You go
to two Thanksgivings, even if.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
You're at work. She's gonna she has to go to
your family's things. That's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Yeah, right, because because she wants the baby to see everybody,
both sides of the family.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
She didn't insinuate that. She didn't plan that.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
So maybe the mother in law is like, well, you
never said you were coming to our things giving, so
let me take it in my hands and asks to see.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
My ga the mom. The mom has to be the
one to invite Lily and the daughter.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
Oh lord, in laws just they just get a man.
They can't do nothing, right.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
I definitely think that you should be able to have
the dialogue with your mother in law. Yeah, above all,
I think your son should be able to answer these
questions for you or get the answers for you. It
just sounds like there's more to this, and and he
doesn't want to get involved in because if it were simple,
he's either lazy or he's conflict avoidant. And it doesn't
sound like he's lazy, so he's conflict avoidant. Why is
there conflict? Well that I don't know, but it sounds
(08:09):
like he doesn't want to call her because he knows
she's going to say, I don't you know, I don't
want to be with her, I don't like her, you
know why, or whatever. So I don't know. There's there's
a lot more going on here. But it's also a holiday,
so I feel like you bury that if you want
to see your grandkid, you make the relationship with the
kid's mom, right or dad or whomever is on the
other side, because otherwise you could very easily say no,
(08:31):
I'm keeping my kid on thanks Maybe you should do that.
Maybe you should be like, you know what, it's her
first Thanksgiving, I'm alone. I'd like to keep my daughter.
And then she could say, oh my god, no, no, no,
why don't you come too, or if she says if
she's like, okay, well then I guess.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
You're I mean, then you know where you stand.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
Come on.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I agree, Hey, Lily, I'm going to take some phone
calls on this and have the radio on. Let's see
what people have to say. But I wish you the
best of luck with this. You thank you having the
day eight five, five, five, nine one oh three five,
Hey Jake, how you doing.
Speaker 8 (09:01):
Hey, Fred, Caleb Rofeo, Jason Brown, Alena k Me and
how you doing?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
What do you think? Man? What's going on?
Speaker 8 (09:12):
Well, first of all, I'll be really quick to the
point one hundred percent. She needs to stay absolutely no,
do not go by any means this. This sounds like
a good relationship. However, I do agree with you, Fred,
one thousand percent, A conversation definitely needs to be had.
Just sounds like there's some like avoidance or some like
conflict issues. I myself know I'm avoiding myself, but there's
(09:35):
there's no like red flags. Nothing jumps out immediately. This
is just, you know, a mature, deep conversation. And I
can see it from mom's point as well, if she
wants to truly like spend time with her granddaughter and
just wants to, you know, give the mom some sense
of relief some time alone. However, if she you know,
unintentionally like left her out of the family gathering, then
(09:58):
I think that's a bigger issue.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Yeah, I think, Thank you, Jake, have a good day.
Speaker 8 (10:03):
Hey, come on with the Tangent.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
I love it. What we have. Thanks, we did?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
We did is a new episode up of The Tangent
off Air and Censer podcast I heeart at Hey Kelsey,
good morning, good morning, Hi, you.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Heard the whole story.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Basically, this woman has a a one year old and
her mother in law wants to take her on Thanksgiving
and didn't really seem to want to include her because
husband's at work. He's a first responder, So what do
you do? And the husband won't stand up for her,
by the way, either, which is more of this story.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I was gonna say, no question about it. It's Thanksgiving.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Everybody knows it's a holiday. So why would you.
Speaker 9 (10:40):
Even consider asking for the granddaughter and not invite them off?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I mean again, there's there's some being left out here.
There's there's a disconnected already exists because I don't know
that she should. I don't know why she's surprised this
is happening, you know what I mean? And the sun
won't get involved. I don't, It doesn't. It doesn't make
sense to me that, oh.
Speaker 9 (11:04):
She should just go with her family to the baby, that's.
Speaker 8 (11:06):
With her baby.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
It's packaged deal. It's it's a holiday. I'm going where
the kid's going. So am I coming? Or am I not?
I feel like that.
Speaker 9 (11:13):
I mean, that's it, And it's not like they're divorce, right,
Like if she wants to go to her family and
then go to his family's, right, why would she be
separated from her baby on a holiday?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Hit me up on a random Tuesday?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
But like, hey, I want to see my granddaughter, come
get her on a Tuesday?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Right?
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
How about you?
Speaker 3 (11:30):
The next day is a holiday too? How about you
doing that? I got Why don't I have to be
separated from my kid?
Speaker 8 (11:34):
Ye?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Have a good day?
Speaker 7 (11:36):
Yeah, And everybody keeps saying so that, like the baby
won't remember, who cares? Like it's not about the baby remembering, Like.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
It's about the mother, Like about this when we just
Lily and when we just talk to Lily's going to
remember as moms were going to remember our first holiday
with her babies.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I agree, Hey, Vivian, Hi guys, can I.
Speaker 6 (11:54):
Just I'm a huge fan of all of you guys,
Like I listen to you guys every morning, like you're
the reason why we got by seventy a.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Oh my god, thank you.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
So you don't wake up at seven because you got
to like, you know, go to your job or gayful employee.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Please look for you guys.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I'm thirteen.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
That's a great point, Roofie just made the show starts
at five actually, so I don't know who you.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Know.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
That's sweet and everything, but that's here, you know, leaving
something on the table.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
But I's seven am.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
I'm listening at seven am, I'm for sure.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Okay, Well, then you can go back and listen to
the other two albums later. But what you want to say, Vivian, So.
Speaker 6 (12:30):
I'm kind of in the same situation, but except my
partner my kids that is also a police officer, so
he can't spend Thanksgiving with us sometimes.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
But even though him.
Speaker 6 (12:38):
And I aren't together, his mom is always texting be like, hey,
you don't have any plans, like, feel free to like
just stop. But even though her and her son, I
mean her son and I aren't together, like, she's always
including me because she knows I'm the mother of her grandchild.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
And I just feel like if whether.
Speaker 6 (12:54):
They're like, since they are together, the mother in law
should be like, hey, if you don't have any plans,
stop on by. If not, But like everybody else said,
you can you can pick up maybe.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Any other day, right, I mean, Vivian, like it or not,
Like you're the gatekeeper of this child. So if your
ex's mom wants to ever see this kid and she
needs to be nice to you, because you could very
easily make it very difficult.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
Yeah, she's always super nice. I feel like if this
mother in law like loves her daughter, unless she'd be like, hey,
if you don't have many times that your family stop
on by, if you want to spend your first day
saving with your child, that's fine, just come on the
next day. I'm pretty sure when you's got like the
next day though.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yes, that's the right thing to do. She's got the
right attitude, Thank you, Vivian.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
I just feel so bad.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
What but please because consider it?
Speaker 5 (13:39):
What if her intentions are good?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Though?
Speaker 4 (13:41):
What if what if she really was like, I know
my son is working. I don't want to be rude
and ask my daughter in law to leave her family
on Thanksgiving to come over here with us. Maybe you know,
maybe she doesn't feel comfortable without him, So let me
just say, hey, is it okay if I see the
baby for a couple hours.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Here's why I.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Don't take Here's why I don't think it's that because
she'd say all that right, like it has like you
could set this up in a way that's not hurtful.
You could say, if she really cared about this girl
in any way, or is she even wanted the optics
that she cared, it's the optics that matter. You sell it,
you know, Well, let's say you let's say she strategically
doesn't want her daughter in law there. Then you call
(14:19):
and you sell it like that, you go over the top,
you go, hey, you know what, I'd love to pick
the kid up. I'm going to take her to lunch
and we're gonna do this stuff and you you should
just take a nap and relax and have a day
and I'll bring her back a little bit later on
with a plate of food. It's gonna be great. That's
but she didn't even do that. She just said, Hey, lady,
I'm swinging by, I'm taking a kid. I don't know
(14:40):
what the hell, I don't care. What you're going to
do is imply God, I'm serious.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
You feel like we're making a lot of assumptions and
sometimes you could look on the like look at the
glass half full. Maybe this lady just really was trying
to because I feel like if she really had beef
with the daughter in law, I wouldn't even text my
daughter in law.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
I would have text my.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
Son, I'm coming to get my grandbaby on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
And set it up with your wife.
Speaker 9 (14:58):
But you don't not invite someone because you feel bad
taking them away from their family. You say, hey, if
you have plans with your family, all good, but you
are welcome at our place.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
It's that you could have said that, but she did it,
and that's automatically mean. That's my get the ring back
yet to make assumptions, of course.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Not got can someone got cancer?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Phone?
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Tell about you everything you hear me. The entertainment report
is next to friendship.
The Fread show is on. It's Stay or Go night Lily.
It's here, High Lily, good morning.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Welcome, Hi, thank you, good.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Morning, literally, welcome to the program. What's going on? Stairgo
group therapy here? Tell us everything?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah. So I have been married to my husband, Jacob
for two years now, and we have the most beautiful,
precious eight year eight month old daughter. So my husband
is a police officer, so he unfortunately does have to
work on Thanksgiving, which thanks I hate that for him
and for all of us. And it's my daughter's first Thanksgiving,
(00:40):
so that makes it even a little bit more, you know,
not so fun that he can't be there.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
But it is what it is.
Speaker 5 (00:48):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
And the other day, Jacob's mom sent me a text
and asked if she could take our daughter for a
couple hours on Thanksgiving. But she didn't say anything about me,
like she didn't invite me as well.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Okay, and he wants to pick up the baby and
and she goes to do whatever, and I don't know,
you're supposed to just chill because your husband's at work,
and now the baby's gone, okay, all right exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
And I was just shocked by that. I feel like
I have a good relationship with her. You know, I
didn't think anything was you know, wrong, and so it
just kind of took me by surprise that that she
would ask for that. So I told my husband about it,
and he seems to think it's not a big deal,
and and he said he just like he doesn't want
(01:42):
to get in the middle of it.
Speaker 5 (01:45):
And then he said like, well.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Maybe I can just go to my family's house thence
he's not going to be home anyways, and that he
just doesn't want to be around with, you know, getting
in between me and his mom. And I'm really hurt
by that.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Are you sure, Lily, that the mom like that they're
going and having a full on Thanksgiving meal or Thanksgiving
you know, festivities or whatever, and that you're not being
included or is this more of a I'm gonna swing
by and take the baby because I'm off and I'm
you know, I don't know, is there a nice gesture
like is it, hey, I'm gonna swing by and give
you a couple hours on your own or whatever, because
it would be one thing, I guess if you're being
(02:23):
excluded from an entire function and they're bringing your kid
and you don't get to go. It's another thing if
this person just has some extra time and wants to
hang out with your kid.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
I do know that they usually have a big, you know,
get together on tapes.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
Okay, so you're potentially not being invited then to Thanksgiving
dinner for some reason, and you're supposed to go hang
with your parents and your husband doesn't want to get involved.
I mean, couldn't I guess your husband could at least
ask the question like, Hey, I'm not around today, why
can't we do something that includes Lily and the baby?
Because trust me, ye, like I said, as an uncle,
and my mom now has grandkids, my mom would love
(03:01):
nothing more than to come by, take the kids and
leave my sister's ass at home like she loves my sister.
But a hold on a second, though, Any grandparents listening
right now know what I'm talking about. True, they want
the grandkids. They don't always want their kid. They've had
thirty some years of that. They're good, They're all set there.
They want bonding time with the kid. So I guess
it would be important to differentiate between is this bonding
(03:23):
time with mom? Or is this you're being excluded from
a family function right, I mean, wouldn't that be an
important distinction?
Speaker 6 (03:31):
For sure?
Speaker 2 (03:32):
I mean, and also it is her first Thanksgiving? So
why would I not want to be with my daughter
thank you on a first Thanksgiving?
Speaker 3 (03:39):
But your husband won't even ask the question. It's almost
like he knows. It's almost like he knows she doesn't
like you or something. Have you guys ever had issues before?
I mean, have you ever been led to believe that
his mom wasn't a fan or his family wasn't a fan.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I definitely we've had situations where he's taken her side.
He has been, you know, a little bit of a
mama's boy. Importunately, I hate to say that, but yeah,
we have had some situations where you know, he wants
me to be the bigger person, but it means you know,
she's kind of getting her way.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Okay, so he knows something.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Then he knows something, and he doesn't want to get
involved because he knows it to fight because if it
were just something as simple as let me treating this out,
let me she I don't know that you shouldn't have
to be alone on Thanksgiving out and she's trying to
take the kid to lunch, and well, you should go.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
To or whatever.
Speaker 5 (04:23):
But why does it have to be a fight? Like
you know what I mean?
Speaker 7 (04:26):
Like, you're married to that woman, that is your wife,
your family, the mother of your child.
Speaker 5 (04:31):
Why not say something to your mom?
Speaker 7 (04:32):
Not saying you got to box it out with your mom,
but you can say something of is Lily invited you
for your you know, why isn't she coming to Like
they're they're a package deal, mom and baby go together.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
No, I'm saying we're saying the same thing. He should.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
He should be asking that question. I think the reason
he's not is because he knows they don't like it,
they don't like her.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
He's got to figure that out.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
I agree, But it sounds like there's a much bigger
issue here because if it was just a communication thing,
that's one thing. But the fact he doesn't want to
get involved means that it's going to be some form
of battle between he and his mom that he doesn't want.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
That shouldn't be. But he's got to say something.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
Right, No, I mean, I agree, he absolutely does. I'm sorry.
Speaker 7 (05:11):
I'm tired of these mama's boys who want to like,
not get involved. I don't want to ruffle feathers like no, like,
you're married, that's your family.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Dude, Like, stop, hey, Lily, just do what Paulina does
and text her yourself and rad his ass out.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
I'll help you. Girl, be like, hey, well she did.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
She takes it.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Hey, your punkcast son won't defend me. So here I am.
I got questions. Why can't I know, I don't don't
be combative, But have you have you considered asking a
question like hey, can I come to I mean, I
know that's like you don't want to have to do that,
you want to be invited, But have you And maybe
it's that simple. Maybe she'd be like, oh, yeah, I
thought maybe you you wanted a break or something, because
(05:48):
having a newborn or at least a toddler at this
stage is a lot of work.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Yeah, I mean I have thought about it. I I
do just hate the fact that this is on me now.
I don't feel like this should be something I have
to do that I feel alone in. And I think
you're right, this is maybe a bigger issue.
Speaker 8 (06:07):
With my husband.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I kind of want to give the mother in law
the benefit of the doubt. What like, I think you
should just send the text Lily, like, hey, I would
love to come to or what's going on over there,
because honestly, maybe the mother in law is assuming that
because her her son has to work, that Lily is
already going to be with her family, and instead of
her being like, well, I want to rip you and
the baby away from your family to come spend time
with us, even though my son is not going to
(06:31):
be there, maybe I'll just be polite and say, hey,
do you mind if we see the baby? Because I
know you're going to say family then say that she
did not like but that's not the same thing. But
I'm saying she can maybe just giving her the benefit
of the doubt. Maybe she's you've had no history of
problems with her in the past. Why would she just
choose violence on Thanksgiving?
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Because I remember people are texting, like hey, five hours
or several hours of silence seems kind of amazing, And
that's what that's what this woman's getting given.
Speaker 5 (06:57):
Say, a holiday, right, holiday right?
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Not not a national holidays. Because I'm assuming Lily, you
were going to split time between both families anyway your family.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Husband was not working.
Speaker 5 (07:12):
Probably no, because.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
That's how that's I mean, that's the normal dynamic. If
there's families that both families are in town. You go
to two Thanksgivings, even if.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
You're at work. She's gonna she has to go to
your family's things. That's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Yeah, right, because because she wants the baby to see everybody,
both sides of the family.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
She didn't insinuate that. She didn't plan that.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
So maybe the mother in law is like, well, you
never said you were coming to our things giving, so
let me take it in my hands and asks to see.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
My ga the mom. The mom has to be the
one to invite Lily and the daughter.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
Oh lord, in laws just they just get a man.
They can't do nothing, right.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
I definitely think that you should be able to have
the dialogue with your mother in law. Yeah, above all,
I think your son should be able to answer these
questions for you or get the answers for you. It
just sounds like there's more to this, and and he
doesn't want to get involved in because if it were simple,
he's either lazy or he's conflict avoidant. And it doesn't
sound like he's lazy, so he's conflict avoidant. Why is
there conflict? Well that I don't know, but it sounds
(08:09):
like he doesn't want to call her because he knows
she's going to say, I don't you know, I don't
want to be with her, I don't like her, you
know why, or whatever. So I don't know. There's there's
a lot more going on here. But it's also a holiday,
so I feel like you bury that if you want
to see your grandkid, you make the relationship with the
kid's mom, right or dad or whomever is on the
other side, because otherwise you could very easily say no,
(08:31):
I'm keeping my kid on thanks Maybe you should do that.
Maybe you should be like, you know what, it's her
first Thanksgiving, I'm alone. I'd like to keep my daughter.
And then she could say, oh my god, no, no, no,
why don't you come too, or if she says if
she's like, okay, well then I guess.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
You're I mean, then you know where you stand.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
Come on.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I agree, Hey, Lily, I'm going to take some phone
calls on this and have the radio on. Let's see
what people have to say. But I wish you the
best of luck with this. You thank you having the
day eight five, five, five, nine one oh three five,
Hey Jake, how you doing.
Speaker 8 (09:01):
Hey, Fred, Caleb Rofeo, Jason Brown, Alena k Me and
how you doing?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
What do you think? Man? What's going on?
Speaker 8 (09:12):
Well, first of all, I'll be really quick to the
point one hundred percent. She needs to stay absolutely no,
do not go by any means this. This sounds like
a good relationship. However, I do agree with you, Fred,
one thousand percent, A conversation definitely needs to be had.
Just sounds like there's some like avoidance or some like
conflict issues. I myself know I'm avoiding myself, but there's
(09:35):
there's no like red flags. Nothing jumps out immediately. This
is just, you know, a mature, deep conversation. And I
can see it from mom's point as well, if she
wants to truly like spend time with her granddaughter and
just wants to, you know, give the mom some sense
of relief some time alone. However, if she you know,
unintentionally like left her out of the family gathering, then
(09:58):
I think that's a bigger issue.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Yeah, I think, Thank you, Jake, have a good day.
Speaker 8 (10:03):
Hey, come on with the Tangent.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
I love it. What we have. Thanks, we did?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
We did is a new episode up of The Tangent
off Air and Censer podcast I heeart at Hey Kelsey,
good morning, good morning, Hi, you.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Heard the whole story.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Basically, this woman has a a one year old and
her mother in law wants to take her on Thanksgiving
and didn't really seem to want to include her because
husband's at work. He's a first responder, So what do
you do? And the husband won't stand up for her,
by the way, either, which is more of this story.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I was gonna say, no question about it. It's Thanksgiving.
Speaker 5 (10:38):
Everybody knows it's a holiday. So why would you.
Speaker 9 (10:40):
Even consider asking for the granddaughter and not invite them off?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:46):
I mean again, there's there's some being left out here.
There's there's a disconnected already exists because I don't know
that she should. I don't know why she's surprised this
is happening, you know what I mean? And the sun
won't get involved. I don't, It doesn't. It doesn't make
sense to me that, oh.
Speaker 9 (11:04):
She should just go with her family to the baby, that's.
Speaker 8 (11:06):
With her baby.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
It's packaged deal. It's it's a holiday. I'm going where
the kid's going. So am I coming? Or am I not?
I feel like that.
Speaker 9 (11:13):
I mean, that's it, And it's not like they're divorce, right,
Like if she wants to go to her family and
then go to his family's, right, why would she be
separated from her baby on a holiday?
Speaker 4 (11:23):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Hit me up on a random Tuesday?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
But like, hey, I want to see my granddaughter, come
get her on a Tuesday?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Right?
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
How about you?
Speaker 3 (11:30):
The next day is a holiday too? How about you
doing that? I got Why don't I have to be
separated from my kid?
Speaker 8 (11:34):
Ye?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Have a good day?
Speaker 7 (11:36):
Yeah, And everybody keeps saying so that, like the baby
won't remember, who cares? Like it's not about the baby remembering, Like.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
It's about the mother, Like about this when we just
Lily and when we just talk to Lily's going to
remember as moms were going to remember our first holiday
with her babies.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I agree, Hey, Vivian, Hi guys, can I.
Speaker 6 (11:54):
Just I'm a huge fan of all of you guys,
Like I listen to you guys every morning, like you're
the reason why we got by seventy a.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Oh my god, thank you.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
So you don't wake up at seven because you got
to like, you know, go to your job or gayful employee.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
Please look for you guys.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I'm thirteen.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
That's a great point, Roofie just made the show starts
at five actually, so I don't know who you.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Know.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
That's sweet and everything, but that's here, you know, leaving
something on the table.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
But I's seven am.
Speaker 6 (12:22):
I'm listening at seven am, I'm for sure.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Okay, Well, then you can go back and listen to
the other two albums later. But what you want to say, Vivian, So.
Speaker 6 (12:30):
I'm kind of in the same situation, but except my
partner my kids that is also a police officer, so
he can't spend Thanksgiving with us sometimes.
Speaker 4 (12:37):
But even though him.
Speaker 6 (12:38):
And I aren't together, his mom is always texting be like, hey,
you don't have any plans, like, feel free to like
just stop. But even though her and her son, I
mean her son and I aren't together, like, she's always
including me because she knows I'm the mother of her grandchild.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
And I just feel like if whether.
Speaker 6 (12:54):
They're like, since they are together, the mother in law
should be like, hey, if you don't have any plans,
stop on by. If not, But like everybody else said,
you can you can pick up maybe.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Any other day, right, I mean, Vivian, like it or not,
Like you're the gatekeeper of this child. So if your
ex's mom wants to ever see this kid and she
needs to be nice to you, because you could very
easily make it very difficult.
Speaker 6 (13:16):
Yeah, she's always super nice. I feel like if this
mother in law like loves her daughter, unless she'd be like, hey,
if you don't have many times that your family stop
on by, if you want to spend your first day
saving with your child, that's fine, just come on the
next day. I'm pretty sure when you's got like the
next day though.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yes, that's the right thing to do. She's got the
right attitude, Thank you, Vivian.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
I just feel so bad.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
What but please because consider it?
Speaker 5 (13:39):
What if her intentions are good?
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Though?
Speaker 4 (13:41):
What if what if she really was like, I know
my son is working. I don't want to be rude
and ask my daughter in law to leave her family
on Thanksgiving to come over here with us. Maybe you know,
maybe she doesn't feel comfortable without him, So let me
just say, hey, is it okay if I see the
baby for a couple hours.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Here's why I.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Don't take Here's why I don't think it's that because
she'd say all that right, like it has like you
could set this up in a way that's not hurtful.
You could say, if she really cared about this girl
in any way, or is she even wanted the optics
that she cared, it's the optics that matter. You sell it,
you know, Well, let's say you let's say she strategically
doesn't want her daughter in law there. Then you call
(14:19):
and you sell it like that, you go over the top,
you go, hey, you know what, I'd love to pick
the kid up. I'm going to take her to lunch
and we're gonna do this stuff and you you should
just take a nap and relax and have a day
and I'll bring her back a little bit later on
with a plate of food. It's gonna be great. That's
but she didn't even do that. She just said, Hey, lady,
I'm swinging by, I'm taking a kid. I don't know
(14:40):
what the hell, I don't care. What you're going to
do is imply God, I'm serious.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
You feel like we're making a lot of assumptions and
sometimes you could look on the like look at the
glass half full. Maybe this lady just really was trying
to because I feel like if she really had beef
with the daughter in law, I wouldn't even text my
daughter in law.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
I would have text my.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
Son, I'm coming to get my grandbaby on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 5 (14:57):
And set it up with your wife.
Speaker 9 (14:58):
But you don't not invite someone because you feel bad
taking them away from their family. You say, hey, if
you have plans with your family, all good, but you
are welcome at our place.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
It's that you could have said that, but she did it,
and that's automatically mean. That's my get the ring back
yet to make assumptions, of course.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Not got can someone got cancer?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Phone?
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Tell about you everything you hear me. The entertainment report
is next to friendship.
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