September 3, 2024 • 18 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Frend Show is on. It's stay or go. All right,
I've been here. Good morning, I even welcome to the program.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Thank Good morning? I'm going all right?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I mean, what's going on with your girlfriend? Little group
therapy here, let's let's hear about it, and then we're
gonna talk about you behind your back?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Great? Yeah, I know, exciting, right, aren't you glad you called?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Totally so all right, I'll be honest, nothing like crazy,
but I do think it's something that I just need
to get other people's advice on people that are like unbiased.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I don't know I'm biased. I mean, I'm I'm I'm
team Ivean. I think I haven't heard the story yet,
but I feel like I'm team Ivan. But go ahead, please,
we'll see.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Thanks. So my girlfriend I have been dating for about
five years now. We both met out of college, and
we both did the bartending things until we met. So
we're both bartending at this just as you know, cute
little bar or whatever. But when we were, you know,
like I said, fresh out of college, and I always
kind of assumed that we would move on to these things.
(01:02):
So since then, I've got a new job in finance,
you know, started like building up the savings and everything else.
And she has been five years now and she's still
working for the same same bar. I guess my question
is is, like, I'm I've kind of felt that there's
(01:23):
this like difference and like this resentment and this like
separation because I always thought that like that was just
a stepping stone job for us both. I mean that's
when we first got together. That's just what I assumed.
And she's still still working there, and I, yeah, am
I crazy for feeling that way?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Like, Okay, so you five years ago you met in
a bar working there, and you're thinking, Okay, you know,
this is what we're doing now until we can get
to the next step in our lives, which you have.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
What have you moved on to do? What are you
doing now?
Speaker 3 (01:58):
So I'm I'm just working in you know, making significantly
more money now.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
So all right, And she's still doing that thing. And
so at the bar, that thing being serving people during
she's the bartender. So you've discussed this with her and
she's like, well, no, no, I'm happy, like it is what
it is. I make good money and I'm happy and
so be it exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Yeah, And like you know, but we want to save
for vacations and we want to go and do fun
things and you know, kind of like start the next
phase of our life. And she's just still kind of
just content with.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
What she does. Okay, but is she making good money?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Is my question, because here's the thing I was actually
just having this conversation with a professional.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Observer.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
She's worked at a high end restaurant and she makes
a fair amount of money doing this, and she's good
at it, and she has regular customers. She would be
doing it for a long time, and it's a coveted
spot in a big time restaurant. I realize it's not
necessarily what you're talking about here, but she is making
good money, good enough money that she really can't afford
to leave it. She would like to leave it, she
would like to do something else, but she's making six
(03:03):
figures and she can't make six figures necessarily doing whatever
it is that she went to college for, whatever she's
trained to do.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Yeah, I mean she's not. She's definitely not not making
six figures. And it's I don't know, I mean, it's
more so she does like it, but it's just like
I said, I thought this was always kind of like
a like a time like a h a placeholder, yeah,
a placeholder job for some like bigger aspiration. And that's
the thing is like really it's not even so much
(03:33):
about the money aspect of it, like because I'm doing
pretty well now and like I just want her to
have like some goals and aspirations outside of this one
thing she's been doing all this time. Like I can't imagine.
I don't like just saying at that same job the
entire time.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
So well, then I'm.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Something similar to what my my family went through with
my sister and her husband now is that they met
in the ball It's basically the same story, and it
wasn't necessarily about the money, and it wasn't even about
the job. It was about the lifestyle. And everybody agreed
on that, including him, by the way. That it was
like this dude worked in a dive bar and he
made good money and whatever paid, you know, contributed and
(04:17):
all the rest of it. But like he went to
work at five pm and came home at four in
the morning, and it wasn't that he was up to anything.
But that wasn't really sustainable for them, you know, they
didn't spend as much time together unless they were working together.
You know, that wasn't really the life that she envisioned
for them together, having a family and whatever. So he
went and got you know, accredited in doing some computer
(04:38):
programming stuff, and now he has a nine to five.
I think he loves and he's excelling and doing great.
But that was up to him, that was his decision
to make. It required a little coaxing, but I think
he's happy with what he decided to do. I mean,
I think what it comes down to is, I mean,
do you do you love her any less? Do you
see any less of a future with her simply because
(04:59):
that's the she wants to do.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Well, that's kind of yeah, it's kind of a dilemma
because you know, we're five years now, Like people are
definitely asking about proposal and everything else, and I gotta
say that, like, I don't know, I'm a little turned
off at the fact that she doesn't want to do
anything else or like, you know, find the next phase
of her life. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
So Ivan, you would you would like her to have
a job like yours, like that you would think differently
of her if she went to sort of a more
traditional job rather than the one that she's doing.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
And honestly, like it doesn't even have to be bad,
it just needs to be something new, so like, you know,
kind of break the mold. And I don't know, it
just feels like we're just like stuck in this like
mindless loop of the same thing every you know. So, yeah,
something something different, something.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Okay, All right, Well let me take some phone calls
on this and to see what people have to say.
But I wish you luck Ivan, Thanks eight five one
three five. So this dude's girlfriend is pretty contempt being
a bartender, and he thought that was just a phase,
and she doesn't seem to want to move on from that,
and he's wondering, look, is this something. Is this, you know,
(06:14):
indicative of ambition or is she just too comfortable? Or
does she want to challenge herself? I mean, I'm being
nice about it. It could also just be he doesn't
want a date a career bartender, which it sounds like
that has more to do with it than anything.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Yeah, someone takes that and they're basically asking is he
more concerned about the title of her job, which I
think some people for some reason think bartender is I
don't know, but beneath them or something, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Is that service industry or a server.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
But yeah, those people make a lot of money, and
we need bartender and we need you, honey, we need you.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I don't know. I guess I
also don't know about her background. I mean, how much
is she spent on college? Did she spend on college?
As that matter? Is she These are all things I
probably should have asked it, But you know, does she
have ambition? She's just afraid to take this step?
Speaker 3 (07:00):
You know?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But I think he's calling us because maybe a lot
of those things are unknown. It's like she just is
just gonna keep doing this and doesn't seem to want
to make any adjustment, and it's bothering him.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
She got a job, She's got a job for five
years now, that's a solid job.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Why if she's happy there, if she's content, if she
likes a job, why would you make her leave just
because she's a bartender?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
And that's not up to your standards anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I mean, this guy's just assuming that she wants to
do something else with her life. Why why would you
do that if she does and she's not doing it?
Because she's just setting her ways. That's one thing. I
don't know if that's a reason to leave somebody, but
I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I don't think it's about the job.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
But I could understand if someone doesn't have any other
goals or aspirations in their life at all, Like if
they're like, I'm good, I'm gonna rock with the way
things are all around forever, you know, whether it be
like Okay, I want to say the same job, but I,
you know, in ten years, want to take this trip,
or I want to save for this, or I want
to you know, go back to school for I don't know.
(08:01):
I just feel like, okay, I'm just gonna leave everything
the exact same.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
That might turn me off a little bit.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
I don't care if you're a bartender, but you want
to do charity work?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Do you want to like good point?
Speaker 5 (08:10):
You know?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yeah, Well that was my issue too with my brother
in law. He knows this, I can say it, and
he has a different perspective now, but I believe at
one point he told my grandfather, hey man, I'm just
trying to get by, like that was his mentality. I
just want to get by, like I just want to
I want to go to work. I want to pay
my bills. I just want to get by. And I
think that that was concerning for my grandfather because it's like, well,
(08:32):
I wish that you had this higher aspiration that you
were chasing after, even if you don't accomplish it. I'd
rather see you working towards something larger than yourself, or
a goal that you have for yourself, or to challenge
yourself in some way. That was kind of his point.
It wasn't don't bartender. I don't like it, because I mean,
who cares? But I also think, you know, more than
(08:53):
likely that's a job that will be there forever, and
it might be a fulfilling job and a well paying job.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
But you know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I agree with you you like, maybe be a bartender,
but then like you want to be the world's greatest
I don't know whatever, Like do you have any sort
of side aspiration or project or or interest or hobby
or anything. And I think if the answers no, then
I can see why that, you know, that's not that exciting,
especially if you're working towards something you know larger in
(09:21):
your life and career.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Julio, Hi, good morning.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Hi, good morningser, Sir Jesus, very respectful, Julia, what do
you think, Well, I.
Speaker 6 (09:34):
Think the boyfriend's into finance and she loves that bartending.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Why not open their own bar.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
That way, she's in the scene of the bar and
he could do the financing for her.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
By the way I've heard, the opening a bar is
like the least fun thing that you ever. I know
several decided that they should have a bar, and they do.
They regret that.
Speaker 6 (10:00):
In my opinion, it is stressful. Don't get me wrong.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
I've worked with.
Speaker 6 (10:04):
Bars because I do private security for bars and nightclubs,
and it is a headache. But it is good money
because at the end of the night, when I see
those bartenders counting their tips and money in total, they
made from three thousand, two teny twelve thousand dollars on
the weekend a night.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Yeah, I'm in the wrong business. Actually, yeah, I think.
I mean, I'm going to job bartending. Julio, thank you man,
have a good day.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Yeah you too.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
I mean, honestly, that was the conversation conversation I was
having with this woman. I think she's in her early fifties,
and she'd been doing this her whole career and I
can't afford to leave the industry.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I can't, Like there's nothing else that pays me like this,
And I don't think she wants to do it. But
you know, who's to say that you can't have a
side hustle or that you can't I don't know, pursue
something on the side. It sounds like maybe she's not
into that idea. Hey, Jennifer, how you doing?
Speaker 7 (10:57):
Hey guys, good morning.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Hi Jennifer. What do you think?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
So this dude's calling us because he's his girlfriend of
five years. They were bartending together, she's still bartending. He's
moved on to more of a traditional career, and she
doesn't seem to have any interest or aspiration and doing
anything else.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
It's bothering him.
Speaker 7 (11:14):
Yeah, no, I was listening to Ivan, So I just think,
you know, after five years you're together, you're probably sharing,
like you guys said, your goals, your aspirations, what you
want to get done. I think you can do all
those things and she can remain bartending if she's happy,
let her be. If it's something that he's hung up on,
(11:34):
that's going to be his issue.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
But kind of like what was said.
Speaker 7 (11:38):
I know people who would rather bartend kind of have
work less hours, make more money, then go work in
an office.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, and this sounds like more of a status thing
to me. But at the same time, I mean, in
this case, it's like if this dude's working I don't know,
eight to six and she's working and making this up,
you know, like like a lot of bartend's working in
the evening or at night, chance he'd never see her.
So you know, he could make that point and be like, hey,
this schedule is not exactly working, like, well, at least
wants you bartend in the same hours that I'm working,
(12:07):
But then she probably wouldn't make as much money, So
I mean, you know, there's that it's the lifestyle. You
could make that point. But he didn't make that point.
He didn't call up here and say I never get
to see my girlfriend because she's bartending.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
He made it sound like I.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Never you know, my girlfriend has no further aspiration than
to be a bartender, and that's that good enough for me.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
That's basically what I heard him say.
Speaker 7 (12:29):
That's kind of what I was waiting for, Like the
time difference I could understand, and then it'd be like, Okay, cool,
I'll do it on the weekend and you know, well,
let's pivot. But if she's happy, do you go get
a hobby?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (12:42):
Well if you're bothered.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (12:46):
I just kind of feel like there's there's so many
with the uncertainty.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Of the world too.
Speaker 7 (12:52):
I don't know. Well, you guys, she's making good money.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree, Thank you, Jennifer. Have a
good day, you guys can And there could be more.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
There could be more here too that he's not telling us.
But like, if I don't know, maybe she is hesitant
to move on because it's a risk. And it's like,
is he offering to supplement? Is he saying, hey, take
that risk, Like, go do that thing you've always wanted
to do, and I'll back you because I have a
secure job. You can always go back to the bartending.
I mean, there's a lot of things here that he
hasn't said, or is she simply just doesn't care? And
(13:23):
I can see how that. I can see how that
could be unattractive. If someone's doing something and they're you
believe they're capable of more, they have bigger dreams or
bigger aspirations and they're just not doing it because they're comfortable.
But then again, are you, as her partner encouraging her
and supporting her and enabling her to do those things
or are you just complaining?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
It would be my question.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Yeah, I don't care about the job, but I want
to watch you grow as a person and evolve.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I agree with that now that I agree with And
that's why I'm saying, like, if it's just I don't know,
I don't, I don't I don't want to take that risk.
Then are you are you reaching your full potential? And
then how are you as her partner helping her to
accomplish that? And maybe he's not doing anything Adriana high.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
The morning, Hey, good morning, stare Go. What do you think.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
I think that he should say? But he's afraid because
to me it sounds he said about being engaged, and
that was the key word that I heard, is he
doesn't want to be financially responsible for the both of
them in the future. So if she does decide to
quit and have kids and she doesn't have the nine
to five and the PTO build up, that's what it
sounds like to me.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
He's like, he's seen.
Speaker 5 (14:31):
All these people grow because he's a businessman now, you know,
and there's two totally different personalities that they're emerging into.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Yeah, I guess that's true. I mean I guess it's
not like necessarily you know, jobs where you have retirement
and to your point, I don't know vacation time. I
mean maybe she has that stuff, but a lot of
bartenders may not. Insurance and a lot of other things
that I don't know if she's a corporate bartender or what.
But like you know, she might make a lot of
(15:00):
money cash or whatever. But you're right, like, where's the
security is she's I don't know. There's a lot of
variables here, But the vibe I was getting from Ivan
was it's like do better. And I don't know that
she necessarily is doing poorly for herself, you know what
I mean. But to Calen's point, if she's capable of
what maybe she has an art degree or she has
(15:20):
a she could be teaching, or she could be doing
you know, starting a business, and she's just not doing
it because it's like I don't want to take the risk.
I'll just go to work every day and do my thing.
And I can see how that I can I can
see how that would be unattractive at a certain point,
like come on, let's do it, let's let's do more.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Yeah it's true.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yeah, Adria, thank you, have a good day, Tony.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Tony, you say stay.
Speaker 8 (15:46):
I say stay, But it really depends. You know, life
is short, and you know you got to find your
passion really quickly. So my dad was an artist, a painter,
but she just like it is now, it was hard
to find work and art. So he began working for
a bank, moved up really high in the bank, and
after thirty six years, he hated every day that he
(16:06):
worked at the banks, and he wished he would have
stuck to art.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Sorry, I was running.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah yeah, are you are you running a marathon currently?
Or like what's going on?
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Man?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
But that's amazing because when I run, I can't speak.
So that's good that you're able to do both.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Okay, Yes, you know he need to find her passion,
he wishes with the other thing.
Speaker 8 (16:31):
Yeah, I mean, if she really loves spartending, whether she's
making good money or not, that's the that's the thing.
She said stay, and you know he needs to be
supportive and happy with that.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Okay, Tony Man like deep breaths and it's like the fibrillator,
like raise your hand if you need help or you know.
Speaker 8 (16:50):
It was it was that last sprint when you guys
picked up.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
So sorry for you. Look at this guy. I'm just like.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
That.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Tony wraps it up to Tony's Chelsea keep the heart
beat him.
Speaker 6 (17:09):
Yes, Hi, how are you hey?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
So you are a former bartender, so what's your perspective.
Speaker 9 (17:15):
My perspective is I can honestly agree with him. If
they're sitting there trying to make light plans right now.
They want to go out and do things.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
They want to go on.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Vacations and stuff like that.
Speaker 9 (17:25):
Bartending isn't really a job where the income is always consistent.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
It's supply and demand.
Speaker 9 (17:34):
It's not like a nine to five where you go
in and you have a set income and you know
how much you're making and you can sit there and
make plans with your partner about going and doing these things.
Because if the money's not there, the money's not there
and you end up not being able to do those things.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
So it's really hard.
Speaker 9 (17:47):
I mean, yes, you get the freedom of your own
schedule and everything. That's why I always suggest the people.
Speaker 8 (17:52):
Delivery share food to.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Be specific, not to be with people.
Speaker 9 (17:56):
But I do delivery share on the side now instead
of bartending for my.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Extra because it's just so much easier and so much
more on demand.
Speaker 9 (18:03):
But yeah, you and doing bartending isn't it's the money's
not there sometimes and it's really hard to make those.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Okay, fair enough, thank you, Chelsea, have a good day.
I will say, for all the hard time that you know, Colin,
my brother in law got for being a bartender. My
mom certainly has him making margarita's and shots. All of that,
I mean comes in very handy. It's a great part
of it. He's very good at it, I will say.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
So.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
I'm like, Mom, remember when you complained about this. Now
you're like placing orders.
The Frend Show is on. It's stay or go. All right,
I've been here. Good morning, I even welcome to the program.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
How are you?
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Thank Good morning? I'm going all right?
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I mean, what's going on with your girlfriend? Little group
therapy here, let's let's hear about it, and then we're
gonna talk about you behind your back?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Great? Yeah, I know, exciting, right, aren't you glad you called?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Totally so all right, I'll be honest, nothing like crazy,
but I do think it's something that I just need
to get other people's advice on people that are like unbiased.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I don't know I'm biased. I mean, I'm I'm I'm
team Ivean. I think I haven't heard the story yet,
but I feel like I'm team Ivan. But go ahead, please,
we'll see.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Thanks. So my girlfriend I have been dating for about
five years now. We both met out of college, and
we both did the bartending things until we met. So
we're both bartending at this just as you know, cute
little bar or whatever. But when we were, you know,
like I said, fresh out of college, and I always
kind of assumed that we would move on to these things.
(01:02):
So since then, I've got a new job in finance,
you know, started like building up the savings and everything else.
And she has been five years now and she's still
working for the same same bar. I guess my question
is is, like, I'm I've kind of felt that there's
(01:23):
this like difference and like this resentment and this like
separation because I always thought that like that was just
a stepping stone job for us both. I mean that's
when we first got together. That's just what I assumed.
And she's still still working there, and I, yeah, am
I crazy for feeling that way?
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Like, Okay, so you five years ago you met in
a bar working there, and you're thinking, Okay, you know,
this is what we're doing now until we can get
to the next step in our lives, which you have.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
What have you moved on to do? What are you
doing now?
Speaker 3 (01:58):
So I'm I'm just working in you know, making significantly
more money now.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
So all right, And she's still doing that thing. And
so at the bar, that thing being serving people during
she's the bartender. So you've discussed this with her and
she's like, well, no, no, I'm happy, like it is what
it is. I make good money and I'm happy and
so be it exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Yeah, And like you know, but we want to save
for vacations and we want to go and do fun
things and you know, kind of like start the next
phase of our life. And she's just still kind of
just content with.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
What she does. Okay, but is she making good money?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Is my question, because here's the thing I was actually
just having this conversation with a professional.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Observer.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
She's worked at a high end restaurant and she makes
a fair amount of money doing this, and she's good
at it, and she has regular customers. She would be
doing it for a long time, and it's a coveted
spot in a big time restaurant. I realize it's not
necessarily what you're talking about here, but she is making
good money, good enough money that she really can't afford
to leave it. She would like to leave it, she
would like to do something else, but she's making six
(03:03):
figures and she can't make six figures necessarily doing whatever
it is that she went to college for, whatever she's
trained to do.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Yeah, I mean she's not. She's definitely not not making
six figures. And it's I don't know, I mean, it's
more so she does like it, but it's just like
I said, I thought this was always kind of like
a like a time like a h a placeholder, yeah,
a placeholder job for some like bigger aspiration. And that's
the thing is like really it's not even so much
(03:33):
about the money aspect of it, like because I'm doing
pretty well now and like I just want her to
have like some goals and aspirations outside of this one
thing she's been doing all this time. Like I can't imagine.
I don't like just saying at that same job the
entire time.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
So well, then I'm.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Something similar to what my my family went through with
my sister and her husband now is that they met
in the ball It's basically the same story, and it
wasn't necessarily about the money, and it wasn't even about
the job. It was about the lifestyle. And everybody agreed
on that, including him, by the way. That it was
like this dude worked in a dive bar and he
made good money and whatever paid, you know, contributed and
(04:17):
all the rest of it. But like he went to
work at five pm and came home at four in
the morning, and it wasn't that he was up to anything.
But that wasn't really sustainable for them, you know, they
didn't spend as much time together unless they were working together.
You know, that wasn't really the life that she envisioned
for them together, having a family and whatever. So he
went and got you know, accredited in doing some computer
(04:38):
programming stuff, and now he has a nine to five.
I think he loves and he's excelling and doing great.
But that was up to him, that was his decision
to make. It required a little coaxing, but I think
he's happy with what he decided to do. I mean,
I think what it comes down to is, I mean,
do you do you love her any less? Do you
see any less of a future with her simply because
(04:59):
that's the she wants to do.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Well, that's kind of yeah, it's kind of a dilemma
because you know, we're five years now, Like people are
definitely asking about proposal and everything else, and I gotta
say that, like, I don't know, I'm a little turned
off at the fact that she doesn't want to do
anything else or like, you know, find the next phase
of her life. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
So Ivan, you would you would like her to have
a job like yours, like that you would think differently
of her if she went to sort of a more
traditional job rather than the one that she's doing.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
And honestly, like it doesn't even have to be bad,
it just needs to be something new, so like, you know,
kind of break the mold. And I don't know, it
just feels like we're just like stuck in this like
mindless loop of the same thing every you know. So, yeah,
something something different, something.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Okay, All right, Well let me take some phone calls
on this and to see what people have to say.
But I wish you luck Ivan, Thanks eight five one
three five. So this dude's girlfriend is pretty contempt being
a bartender, and he thought that was just a phase,
and she doesn't seem to want to move on from that,
and he's wondering, look, is this something. Is this, you know,
(06:14):
indicative of ambition or is she just too comfortable? Or
does she want to challenge herself? I mean, I'm being
nice about it. It could also just be he doesn't
want a date a career bartender, which it sounds like
that has more to do with it than anything.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Yeah, someone takes that and they're basically asking is he
more concerned about the title of her job, which I
think some people for some reason think bartender is I
don't know, but beneath them or something, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Is that service industry or a server.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
But yeah, those people make a lot of money, and
we need bartender and we need you, honey, we need you.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I don't know. I guess I
also don't know about her background. I mean, how much
is she spent on college? Did she spend on college?
As that matter? Is she These are all things I
probably should have asked it, But you know, does she
have ambition? She's just afraid to take this step?
Speaker 3 (07:00):
You know?
Speaker 1 (07:01):
But I think he's calling us because maybe a lot
of those things are unknown. It's like she just is
just gonna keep doing this and doesn't seem to want
to make any adjustment, and it's bothering him.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
She got a job, She's got a job for five
years now, that's a solid job.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Why if she's happy there, if she's content, if she
likes a job, why would you make her leave just
because she's a bartender?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
And that's not up to your standards anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I mean, this guy's just assuming that she wants to
do something else with her life. Why why would you
do that if she does and she's not doing it?
Because she's just setting her ways. That's one thing. I
don't know if that's a reason to leave somebody, but
I mean.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I don't think it's about the job.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
But I could understand if someone doesn't have any other
goals or aspirations in their life at all, Like if
they're like, I'm good, I'm gonna rock with the way
things are all around forever, you know, whether it be
like Okay, I want to say the same job, but I,
you know, in ten years, want to take this trip,
or I want to save for this, or I want
to you know, go back to school for I don't know.
(08:01):
I just feel like, okay, I'm just gonna leave everything
the exact same.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
That might turn me off a little bit.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
I don't care if you're a bartender, but you want
to do charity work?
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Do you want to like good point?
Speaker 5 (08:10):
You know?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yeah, Well that was my issue too with my brother
in law. He knows this, I can say it, and
he has a different perspective now, but I believe at
one point he told my grandfather, hey man, I'm just
trying to get by, like that was his mentality. I
just want to get by, like I just want to
I want to go to work. I want to pay
my bills. I just want to get by. And I
think that that was concerning for my grandfather because it's like, well,
(08:32):
I wish that you had this higher aspiration that you
were chasing after, even if you don't accomplish it. I'd
rather see you working towards something larger than yourself, or
a goal that you have for yourself, or to challenge
yourself in some way. That was kind of his point.
It wasn't don't bartender. I don't like it, because I mean,
who cares? But I also think, you know, more than
(08:53):
likely that's a job that will be there forever, and
it might be a fulfilling job and a well paying job.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
But you know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I agree with you you like, maybe be a bartender,
but then like you want to be the world's greatest
I don't know whatever, Like do you have any sort
of side aspiration or project or or interest or hobby
or anything. And I think if the answers no, then
I can see why that, you know, that's not that exciting,
especially if you're working towards something you know larger in
(09:21):
your life and career.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Julio, Hi, good morning.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Hi, good morningser, Sir Jesus, very respectful, Julia, what do
you think, Well, I.
Speaker 6 (09:34):
Think the boyfriend's into finance and she loves that bartending.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Why not open their own bar.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
That way, she's in the scene of the bar and
he could do the financing for her.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
By the way I've heard, the opening a bar is
like the least fun thing that you ever. I know
several decided that they should have a bar, and they do.
They regret that.
Speaker 6 (10:00):
In my opinion, it is stressful. Don't get me wrong.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
I've worked with.
Speaker 6 (10:04):
Bars because I do private security for bars and nightclubs,
and it is a headache. But it is good money
because at the end of the night, when I see
those bartenders counting their tips and money in total, they
made from three thousand, two teny twelve thousand dollars on
the weekend a night.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Yeah, I'm in the wrong business. Actually, yeah, I think.
I mean, I'm going to job bartending. Julio, thank you man,
have a good day.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Yeah you too.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
I mean, honestly, that was the conversation conversation I was
having with this woman. I think she's in her early fifties,
and she'd been doing this her whole career and I
can't afford to leave the industry.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I can't, Like there's nothing else that pays me like this,
And I don't think she wants to do it. But
you know, who's to say that you can't have a
side hustle or that you can't I don't know, pursue
something on the side. It sounds like maybe she's not
into that idea. Hey, Jennifer, how you doing?
Speaker 7 (10:57):
Hey guys, good morning.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Hi Jennifer. What do you think?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
So this dude's calling us because he's his girlfriend of
five years. They were bartending together, she's still bartending. He's
moved on to more of a traditional career, and she
doesn't seem to have any interest or aspiration and doing
anything else.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
It's bothering him.
Speaker 7 (11:14):
Yeah, no, I was listening to Ivan, So I just think,
you know, after five years you're together, you're probably sharing,
like you guys said, your goals, your aspirations, what you
want to get done. I think you can do all
those things and she can remain bartending if she's happy,
let her be. If it's something that he's hung up on,
(11:34):
that's going to be his issue.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
But kind of like what was said.
Speaker 7 (11:38):
I know people who would rather bartend kind of have
work less hours, make more money, then go work in
an office.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, and this sounds like more of a status thing
to me. But at the same time, I mean, in
this case, it's like if this dude's working I don't know,
eight to six and she's working and making this up,
you know, like like a lot of bartend's working in
the evening or at night, chance he'd never see her.
So you know, he could make that point and be like, hey,
this schedule is not exactly working, like, well, at least
wants you bartend in the same hours that I'm working,
(12:07):
But then she probably wouldn't make as much money, So
I mean, you know, there's that it's the lifestyle. You
could make that point. But he didn't make that point.
He didn't call up here and say I never get
to see my girlfriend because she's bartending.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
He made it sound like I.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Never you know, my girlfriend has no further aspiration than
to be a bartender, and that's that good enough for me.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
That's basically what I heard him say.
Speaker 7 (12:29):
That's kind of what I was waiting for, Like the
time difference I could understand, and then it'd be like, Okay, cool,
I'll do it on the weekend and you know, well,
let's pivot. But if she's happy, do you go get
a hobby?
Speaker 2 (12:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (12:42):
Well if you're bothered.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I don't know.
Speaker 7 (12:46):
I just kind of feel like there's there's so many
with the uncertainty.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Of the world too.
Speaker 7 (12:52):
I don't know. Well, you guys, she's making good money.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree, Thank you, Jennifer. Have a
good day, you guys can And there could be more.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
There could be more here too that he's not telling us.
But like, if I don't know, maybe she is hesitant
to move on because it's a risk. And it's like,
is he offering to supplement? Is he saying, hey, take
that risk, Like, go do that thing you've always wanted
to do, and I'll back you because I have a
secure job. You can always go back to the bartending.
I mean, there's a lot of things here that he
hasn't said, or is she simply just doesn't care? And
(13:23):
I can see how that. I can see how that
could be unattractive. If someone's doing something and they're you
believe they're capable of more, they have bigger dreams or
bigger aspirations and they're just not doing it because they're comfortable.
But then again, are you, as her partner encouraging her
and supporting her and enabling her to do those things
or are you just complaining?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
It would be my question.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Yeah, I don't care about the job, but I want
to watch you grow as a person and evolve.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I agree with that now that I agree with And
that's why I'm saying, like, if it's just I don't know,
I don't, I don't I don't want to take that risk.
Then are you are you reaching your full potential? And
then how are you as her partner helping her to
accomplish that? And maybe he's not doing anything Adriana high.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
The morning, Hey, good morning, stare Go. What do you think.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
I think that he should say? But he's afraid because
to me it sounds he said about being engaged, and
that was the key word that I heard, is he
doesn't want to be financially responsible for the both of
them in the future. So if she does decide to
quit and have kids and she doesn't have the nine
to five and the PTO build up, that's what it
sounds like to me.
Speaker 3 (14:30):
He's like, he's seen.
Speaker 5 (14:31):
All these people grow because he's a businessman now, you know,
and there's two totally different personalities that they're emerging into.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Yeah, I guess that's true. I mean I guess it's
not like necessarily you know, jobs where you have retirement
and to your point, I don't know vacation time. I
mean maybe she has that stuff, but a lot of
bartenders may not. Insurance and a lot of other things
that I don't know if she's a corporate bartender or what.
But like you know, she might make a lot of
(15:00):
money cash or whatever. But you're right, like, where's the
security is she's I don't know. There's a lot of
variables here, But the vibe I was getting from Ivan
was it's like do better. And I don't know that
she necessarily is doing poorly for herself, you know what
I mean. But to Calen's point, if she's capable of
what maybe she has an art degree or she has
(15:20):
a she could be teaching, or she could be doing
you know, starting a business, and she's just not doing
it because it's like I don't want to take the risk.
I'll just go to work every day and do my thing.
And I can see how that I can I can
see how that would be unattractive at a certain point,
like come on, let's do it, let's let's do more.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Yeah it's true.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Yeah, Adria, thank you, have a good day, Tony.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Tony, you say stay.
Speaker 8 (15:46):
I say stay, But it really depends. You know, life
is short, and you know you got to find your
passion really quickly. So my dad was an artist, a painter,
but she just like it is now, it was hard
to find work and art. So he began working for
a bank, moved up really high in the bank, and
after thirty six years, he hated every day that he
(16:06):
worked at the banks, and he wished he would have
stuck to art.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Sorry, I was running.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah yeah, are you are you running a marathon currently?
Or like what's going on?
Speaker 5 (16:17):
Man?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
But that's amazing because when I run, I can't speak.
So that's good that you're able to do both.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Okay, Yes, you know he need to find her passion,
he wishes with the other thing.
Speaker 8 (16:31):
Yeah, I mean, if she really loves spartending, whether she's
making good money or not, that's the that's the thing.
She said stay, and you know he needs to be
supportive and happy with that.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Okay, Tony Man like deep breaths and it's like the fibrillator,
like raise your hand if you need help or you know.
Speaker 8 (16:50):
It was it was that last sprint when you guys
picked up.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
So sorry for you. Look at this guy. I'm just like.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
That.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Tony wraps it up to Tony's Chelsea keep the heart
beat him.
Speaker 6 (17:09):
Yes, Hi, how are you hey?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Good morning.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
So you are a former bartender, so what's your perspective.
Speaker 9 (17:15):
My perspective is I can honestly agree with him. If
they're sitting there trying to make light plans right now.
They want to go out and do things.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
They want to go on.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Vacations and stuff like that.
Speaker 9 (17:25):
Bartending isn't really a job where the income is always consistent.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
It's supply and demand.
Speaker 9 (17:34):
It's not like a nine to five where you go
in and you have a set income and you know
how much you're making and you can sit there and
make plans with your partner about going and doing these things.
Because if the money's not there, the money's not there
and you end up not being able to do those things.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
So it's really hard.
Speaker 9 (17:47):
I mean, yes, you get the freedom of your own
schedule and everything. That's why I always suggest the people.
Speaker 8 (17:52):
Delivery share food to.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Be specific, not to be with people.
Speaker 9 (17:56):
But I do delivery share on the side now instead
of bartending for my.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Extra because it's just so much easier and so much
more on demand.
Speaker 9 (18:03):
But yeah, you and doing bartending isn't it's the money's
not there sometimes and it's really hard to make those.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Okay, fair enough, thank you, Chelsea, have a good day.
I will say, for all the hard time that you know, Colin,
my brother in law got for being a bartender. My
mom certainly has him making margarita's and shots. All of that,
I mean comes in very handy. It's a great part
of it. He's very good at it, I will say.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
So.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
I'm like, Mom, remember when you complained about this. Now
you're like placing orders.
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