Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Fresh Show is on, it's stay or go. Okay,
let's see. So Griselda, that's what works. Griselda Blanco, Griselda Blanco,
the Kings of Cocaine. What do they call it? The oh,
the Godmother, the Godmother. Yeah, yeah, so that's who. That's
who's writing us. Is she even alive anymore? She's not
with him? She did she didn't write her son? Is
(00:22):
is cool though? Yeah? Because you know him? Yeah personally yeah,
you guys. You guys are moving money around together now,
not too much. So. This woman's name is Griselda. So
she listens every morning on her way to work and
did not want to be didn't want her voice heard
on the radio. I'm assuming this is a fake name.
Sorry if it's not, but you should have changed your
name or told us not to use it. It says
(00:44):
I've been with my boyfriend for about six years now
and he still hasn't proposed we don't live together. Kiki listening,
I am here. You pay attention to you, Griselda, Griselda Victoria.
Just read my letter. I mean, how long you been
with him? Six years? Wow? Okay, this is there's nothing
(01:06):
wrong with this. This is from ke Griselda. I know
my boyfriend for about six years now and he still
hasn't proposed. We don't live together, but we do spend
a lot of time together. I have tried talking to
him about the possibility of getting married, but he shies
away from the conversation. I know he loves me and
I love him too, but I also can't keep waiting
around should I stay or go? Kiki? This is a
(01:28):
should you stay or go? Is the question?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Right?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah? I don't live together now.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
That's a big thing for me because you know, it's
like when you live together, you're contributing to things. So
as long as this you're happy. Sometimes well yeah, Jason,
let you.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
You're not. You joke about that, but you are not
a freeloader. You do a lot of stuff, Yes you do,
and you must be just Bob in bed. You must
be just the man you've been living rent free for
fourteen years. You must put it down. That thing be
thanging anyway.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
But yeah, I think she should stay. But I think
she should have multiple boyfriends.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Oh boy, what what we go? Here? We go?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I think she should date, she should date, She should
date him and whoever else she wants to date.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
What not.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay, but you were you were on some track about
how living together.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Because when you live together, I feel like it's a
little different, Like if you live together, you're in a
serious relationship. Hopefully he's paying some bills, pulling some weight,
so it's like, you know, hey, we're a little bit
more committed.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
But if I had my babe. Please no, I'm not
talking about you, Kiki, And this is truly I'm playing
Devil's advocate. Yes, but some would say that living together
makes it even less appealing to get engaged. Because now
I don't agree with this. I believe that you should.
I personally think that I would want to live with
somebody before I marry them, and that's not because dishes
(02:54):
in the sink are going to determine from marrying the person.
I just think that's one step towards sort of act
mating to then the next I think if you do
it all at once, that's just a lot. And there
are people listening right now going no, you got to
do it all at once, because it's like, hey, we're married,
now we're living together like it just is what it is,
and you deal with them as opposed to petty things
getting in the way of the relationship. But for me,
(03:16):
I'd feel more comfortable living with someone, getting that all
organized and sort of you know, feeling comfortable about that,
and then getting married. But some would say without a
ring or any plan for the future, that you're kind
of just playing house and the dude never has to
propose because he's getting all he's getting all the benefits already.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
I agree, one hundred percent. I agree with that. I
agree with that statement. I think it's one hundred percent true.
If you truly want marriage, don't move in together.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Do you regret letting Tim move into your house? Absolutely not, Okay,
but you want to be married to him one day? Yeah,
So then that contradicts what you just said.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
No, it doesn't, because I can desire your marriage, but
I don't regret him being there. Like I've been able
to accomplish some amazing things and get some things that
I needed to get settled in my life because I
had a partner that supported of living with me.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
You don't agree that it may have slowed down the process.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's slowed down the process for marriage. Okay, yeah, enough
for marriage, but the process is still the process, and
you know it'll eventually happen one day or eventually won't.
But as long as you're not married, you're technically a
single woman. You know how I feel about that. And
for Griselda especially not living together. Girl, you need to date.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
It's funny her middle name is, her name is Victoria
girl in the streets? What Rufio, she shouldn't date.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
You're telling people that if they're single in the relationship,
they should be dating other people.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
What do you mean, bad, Toxico? What's that bad? Because
she's in a relationship with this dude.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
But she wants, she wants to be married, and he's not.
He doesn't seem interested in that.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
So what is she supposed to do? That's a conversation
that he needs to have. Whatever.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Like, if they've been together six years, fine, I proposed
to jest after seven years. I mean, it's it's well financially,
I wasn't ready. I was, you know what I'm saying,
Like it took a while.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I wasn't.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
I wasn't where I wanted to be at my career,
and we were living together, and I wanted to be
able to afford a wedding and stuff like that and
the ring.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
That's what I said. Did you communicate though, Did you
communicate this with her though, Like, did you guys sit
down at some stage before that and say, hey, look,
this is I do want to marry you, but here
are my goals and here's what I'm working out.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
No, I mean, we always knew that we were going
to marry each other. It's just that I wanted to
get it right. I didn't want to rush into it
and and be like, yo, I'm.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
I'm taking out money for this ring.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Then I got to pay for this, and I got
to pay this every month.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Then I got to pay for a wedding note. So
it's never a conversation. You never talked about it. I
mean we've talked.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
We talked about marriage, but not not that I'm not
going to propose you now because I'm not financially ready.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
No, just you know, I just did it when I
thought I was already give you an ultimatum over those
seven years.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Yeah, she joked about it because like it took her
sister her was I think maybe thirteen years, thirteen years
before they were high school sweethearts.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Yeah, and it took him that long. So she's like,
I give you half.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
That was a joke that kind of thing is I
did it at like art seven year deadline, which.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Was very same. So eight five, five, five, nine, one
one three five stare ago. This woman with her boyfriend
for six years. They don't live together. She wants to
marry him, he doesn't want to have the conversation. She
acknowledges that they that she believes they're both in love.
She's in love and he loves her. But hey, she's ready,
and I think after six years that's a very fair
(06:33):
conversation to have, oh yes, and very an opportunity for
clear communication about intentions. I do not think that she's unreasonable.
So she wants that, right.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
That's the thing Like if the woman or man, whoever
in the situation wants it, I think you need to
express your needs.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
That's something really important.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
And I also do think that I personally feel if
I was to do this again, I wouldn't live with
a boyfriend. I had a great experience because I ended
up getting married and we're in a healthy marriage. I
would never play house again at this big age. I
feel like for me, that's not I would never want
to give somebody that impression that like okay, like we're
gonna be fine.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Here if you don't give me the ring. If that's
what I want, right, let's just say.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
But I always say too, why if I get divorced,
I'm not doing this again.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I'm definitely not doing the marathon again. So we'll see.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
I think I'm gonna just live like my mom when
she just has her own place, her own house, her
own things, and have my little boyfriend come over whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
But I don't know. I feel like playing house is dangerous. Well,
and on my we have the Fred Show constitution that
I have the fread the Personal Tank Commandments, and of
those ten commandments, one is never never present an ultimatum.
Never present an ultimatum, because you will learn to regret.
You will live to regret that. Because I believe that
if you go to somebody and say male or female
(07:43):
and say you do this or yeah, then you got
there's two things they're gonna happen. They're either gonna do
it and you're always gonna wonder if that's what they
wanted to do, or they're not gonna do it, and
then you have to make a decision I'm gone or
if I stay. Now my word means nothing because if
you say you either you proposed to me, we're getting
married or I'm out, and then the person doesn't says okay,
(08:05):
I'm not going to do it, and then you you said,
oh well fine, I'll stay. Then I'm sorry, but they don't.
The ultimatums won't work anymore. So and again I would
hate to wonder and even if it works out years
down the road, like did he or she really want that?
Or did I force it?
Speaker 3 (08:22):
You know?
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Yeah? Have you had conversations with Big Tim about marriage?
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yeah, all the time.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
He wants to be married, but like you said, financially,
he's just not in a position to do it the
way he wants to do it for me. And it
feels like I require a lot and I do. And so,
you know, hopefully on his timing it's in the right time.
But if it's not, if it's not in my time,
and then I'm moving on.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Let me ask you this, Kiki. So he says financially
that he isn't quite ready. Yeah, do you how long
has he been saying this year? No, we haven't been
talking about it that long.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Because there was like goals, like he wanted to help
me buy my house, he wanted to help me get
the car, I want it. So once those things were
a com but she was like, Okay, now my new
focus is us getting.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Me for a year maybe. Yeah. Do you do you
ever watch his spending and be like, now, hold on,
oh yes, because if that if you're telling me that
you're saving, then what are you doing with that airplane
you just bought? Literally that's the same thing.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
But but he always blames it on me because I
have a problem with booking vacations that I don't consult
him about and he's like, okay, so we're going to
Turks and Caicos. You do understand that that's a couple
of brand that you know, we weren't planning for.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
We still have regular bills.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
So it's things that in the relationship you have to
compromise on, Like if I truly want to ring, I
gotta stop booking vacations and spending his money.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, because I feel like if somebody were saying to me,
I'm gonna do it, I just got to save money,
and then they're always buying stuff on Amazon and I
don't know's with different money. Wait, man, hold on, hold up,
hold up that right there is like a tenth of
a character. We're on our way and you're spending it Emily,
good morning.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Hi, Hey, how's it going.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Hey stayre go, Welcome to the show. Thanks for being
part of the thirteen.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
By the way, Oh, I mean I love it. I
also had a dog with me. If he can't say
fourteen or thirteen and they came home we're.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Including dogs, then we're in really good shape. But I
don't think we are anyway. Sorry, go ahead, No, you're good.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Basically everything Keky just okay. So everything Kekey was saying,
it's about communication and also like she has a firm
reason and she's had conversations with Big tim. It sounds
like this girl has asked and he's just dodged a question, right,
I'd be One thing is like he could absolu like
hes like there's the fact that there's a no clear
conversation or like clear goals like he said, like that's
(10:38):
a huge red flag. It'd be. One thing is like
he you know, did like say he wanted to you know,
no debt or put down payment on a house whatever.
So like the fact that she just has gotten no
solid answer or clear communication.
Speaker 6 (10:51):
Is just she needs to go.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I got it.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I don't if they can't have that conversation after six years,
like there's just some fundamental communication issues.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I agree, I have six years. He needs to have
some kind of answer either I'm not ready, or I
need more time, or I need more money, or or
I don't want to do it or something. He's got
to tell her something. But after this period of time,
for him just to ignore it like it's not happening,
that's not a good right. I feel like he.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Might have the answer also that oh he was hoping
to change his mind and he would want to get
married one day, but it hasn't happened yet, because that's
also not fair to her.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, Emily. Thank you have a good day,
you too, Glad you called. Thanks for listening. Hi, Nina
going almighty? Mean NA stay or go? What should Griselda
kik you do?
Speaker 7 (11:42):
And it does like what you say.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, I waited five years in our relationship, had two kids,
would a dude, and.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
It went absolutely nowhere.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I met him when I was eighteen, lefton when I
was twenty four.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
The five years of my life is basically what Kiki's
that you're playing house with someone up until they're basically
like okay, Well you know, we don't want to do it.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Did he tell you that he didn't want to do it? Like,
did you guys talk about it? He was like soon,
maybe someday whatever, or did he just never? Oh no,
we've talked about it.
Speaker 7 (12:14):
I basically quote him, no, I want to ring And
he's like, well, you know, and at one point you
get of stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
You gotta figure it out for yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
You gotta you gotta basically that ultim Yeah, and he's
not gonna waste your time. Anina, Hey, thank you. By
the way, you find did you get married to somebody else?
Or what did you wind up doing? Meet somebody else?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I'm living my best to go girl life.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Do you have a good day? Thank you so much
for calling Anna. Good morning, Good morning, hi Anna stare Go.
What do you think Griselda Kekey Makeitha should do?
Speaker 7 (12:51):
I think she should stay, but she needs they need
to have a serious conversation. I think, you know it's
been said like she it doesn't seem like they've had that,
and she needs to make her expectations clear. I was
in before I moved in with my boyfriend. I had
that conversation of like, I'm only going to give it
three years in this relationship, and I know you don't
(13:13):
like ultimatum. It wasn't an ultimatum. It was just making
my expectations clear that I expect our relationship to be
at the point where we're ready to get married by
three years. And he ended up proposing at two and
a half.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
So it's worked out.
Speaker 7 (13:26):
We're engaged now. But I think she needs to make
her expectations clear with him, and if he's not ready,
then she needs to go.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, I think you got to I agree. I think
you got to communicate, you know, and you have a
right to change your mind. But if that's somebody's aspiration
to be married and it's not yours, you're right. I mean,
at what point do you say I And especially when
it comes to maybe she wants kids or something like that.
I mean, I do understand that that women at a
certain point in their lives are like, hey, look, there's
(13:54):
only so much time for me to do this. And
it's nothing against you, but it's like I want to
do it, So what are we doing?
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
And I think six years is pretty generous.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (14:03):
I think it also depends on the age. If they're younger,
maybe you know, they need more time. But if she's
a if they're a full ground adult, then six years
is a long time.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah. Yeah, Anna, thank you, thanks for listening. Have a
great day. Yeah, I love you too. Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny. Hey, Fred,
you've been with somebody for ten you've been with the
man or a woman? Ten years? Partner? Yeah, okay, woman
after ten years? She's you're a woman. But how are
(14:36):
you getting away with that? Are you guys on the
same page?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I'm a man.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
No, I well we got that part, but are you
Are you guys on the same page about this? Or
does she want to be married and you've just gotten
away with a decade?
Speaker 6 (14:49):
No, we're engaged, Fred, the only being.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Just like Keith said, we do vacationing way too much.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Now do you agree on that, Danny? Do you guys
are agreed that you're spending your money on stuff that
could go towards the wedding and you said that you
can't afford it? Or is she like, hey, come on,
that's an excuse, excuse.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
So usually I'm allowed only about a week and vacation.
I actually have to take another week vacation, non paid,
just so we can go on another vacation.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
There's the money, are you guys? My question though, is
does she agree with this or is she like, no,
you're making excuses, Danny.
Speaker 6 (15:24):
Yeah, she's making exactly she should be like, now you're
making excuses?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Are you making excuses?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
No?
Speaker 6 (15:29):
Okay, perfect example. We had like twenty five hundred, says
towards it. Next you know, the athy went out and
now I got to spend the money on the ethy.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Of the house. Okay, but let me ask you this,
after ten years, if you really want to be married,
you could do it for free. You could go get
married right now for the cost of a marriage license
if you wanted to. So, Fred, we like to.
Speaker 6 (15:52):
Party like a lot. We're Mexican, so you know we're
thinking about you know, Abanda worth, thinking about a hall
in a you know which is ranch. Yeah, you know right,
we're gonna about.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Ten thousand, get that time out. Ten thousand. That's nothing
for a wedding.
Speaker 6 (16:10):
Yeah, if you could do well, we know some people
that can do it for the low.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
That's right. I see. So basically you're saying you wouldn't
get away with just being married, Like it's got to
be a production and it's gonna take money. Yeah, okay,
I think I want to be invited in this wedding
by with the bond.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
We're gonna have a good.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Time, okay, good, all right, Well wait ten years, but
you let me know if I'm still alive, I'll be there.
Okay he is from that, Yeah, hopefully if you I mean,
I can getting a hall in a banda right now,
if you want. I mean, we know something that I
know some people. They know some people from the low
(16:50):
I mean, Danny, I get on even the lower than
low exactly, James Brown, we can do it. Friday. He's
a man, Fred, he's a man, and so he said
man just to be exacally. I love you, David,
The Fresh Show is on, it's stay or go. Okay,
let's see. So Griselda, that's what works. Griselda Blanco, Griselda Blanco,
the Kings of Cocaine. What do they call it? The oh,
the Godmother, the Godmother. Yeah, yeah, so that's who. That's
who's writing us. Is she even alive anymore? She's not
with him? She did she didn't write her son? Is
(00:22):
is cool though? Yeah? Because you know him? Yeah personally yeah,
you guys. You guys are moving money around together now,
not too much. So. This woman's name is Griselda. So
she listens every morning on her way to work and
did not want to be didn't want her voice heard
on the radio. I'm assuming this is a fake name.
Sorry if it's not, but you should have changed your
name or told us not to use it. It says
(00:44):
I've been with my boyfriend for about six years now
and he still hasn't proposed we don't live together. Kiki listening,
I am here. You pay attention to you, Griselda, Griselda Victoria.
Just read my letter. I mean, how long you been
with him? Six years? Wow? Okay, this is there's nothing
(01:06):
wrong with this. This is from ke Griselda. I know
my boyfriend for about six years now and he still
hasn't proposed. We don't live together, but we do spend
a lot of time together. I have tried talking to
him about the possibility of getting married, but he shies
away from the conversation. I know he loves me and
I love him too, but I also can't keep waiting
around should I stay or go? Kiki? This is a
(01:28):
should you stay or go? Is the question?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Right?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yeah? I don't live together now.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
That's a big thing for me because you know, it's
like when you live together, you're contributing to things. So
as long as this you're happy. Sometimes well yeah, Jason,
let you.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
You're not. You joke about that, but you are not
a freeloader. You do a lot of stuff, Yes you do,
and you must be just Bob in bed. You must
be just the man you've been living rent free for
fourteen years. You must put it down. That thing be
thanging anyway.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
But yeah, I think she should stay. But I think
she should have multiple boyfriends.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Oh boy, what what we go? Here? We go?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
I think she should date, she should date, She should
date him and whoever else she wants to date.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
What not.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay, but you were you were on some track about
how living together.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Because when you live together, I feel like it's a
little different, Like if you live together, you're in a
serious relationship. Hopefully he's paying some bills, pulling some weight,
so it's like, you know, hey, we're a little bit
more committed.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
But if I had my babe. Please no, I'm not
talking about you, Kiki, And this is truly I'm playing
Devil's advocate. Yes, but some would say that living together
makes it even less appealing to get engaged. Because now
I don't agree with this. I believe that you should.
I personally think that I would want to live with
somebody before I marry them, and that's not because dishes
(02:54):
in the sink are going to determine from marrying the person.
I just think that's one step towards sort of act
mating to then the next I think if you do
it all at once, that's just a lot. And there
are people listening right now going no, you got to
do it all at once, because it's like, hey, we're married,
now we're living together like it just is what it is,
and you deal with them as opposed to petty things
getting in the way of the relationship. But for me,
(03:16):
I'd feel more comfortable living with someone, getting that all
organized and sort of you know, feeling comfortable about that,
and then getting married. But some would say without a
ring or any plan for the future, that you're kind
of just playing house and the dude never has to
propose because he's getting all he's getting all the benefits already.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
I agree, one hundred percent. I agree with that. I
agree with that statement. I think it's one hundred percent true.
If you truly want marriage, don't move in together.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Do you regret letting Tim move into your house? Absolutely not, Okay,
but you want to be married to him one day? Yeah,
So then that contradicts what you just said.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
No, it doesn't, because I can desire your marriage, but
I don't regret him being there. Like I've been able
to accomplish some amazing things and get some things that
I needed to get settled in my life because I
had a partner that supported of living with me.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
You don't agree that it may have slowed down the process.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's slowed down the process for marriage. Okay, yeah, enough
for marriage, but the process is still the process, and
you know it'll eventually happen one day or eventually won't.
But as long as you're not married, you're technically a
single woman. You know how I feel about that. And
for Griselda especially not living together. Girl, you need to date.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
It's funny her middle name is, her name is Victoria
girl in the streets? What Rufio, she shouldn't date.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
You're telling people that if they're single in the relationship,
they should be dating other people.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
What do you mean, bad, Toxico? What's that bad? Because
she's in a relationship with this dude.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
But she wants, she wants to be married, and he's not.
He doesn't seem interested in that.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
So what is she supposed to do? That's a conversation
that he needs to have. Whatever.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
Like, if they've been together six years, fine, I proposed
to jest after seven years. I mean, it's it's well financially,
I wasn't ready. I was, you know what I'm saying,
Like it took a while.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
I wasn't.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
I wasn't where I wanted to be at my career,
and we were living together, and I wanted to be
able to afford a wedding and stuff like that and
the ring.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
That's what I said. Did you communicate though, Did you
communicate this with her though, Like, did you guys sit
down at some stage before that and say, hey, look,
this is I do want to marry you, but here
are my goals and here's what I'm working out.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
No, I mean, we always knew that we were going
to marry each other. It's just that I wanted to
get it right. I didn't want to rush into it
and and be like, yo, I'm.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
I'm taking out money for this ring.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
Then I got to pay for this, and I got
to pay this every month.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Then I got to pay for a wedding note. So
it's never a conversation. You never talked about it. I
mean we've talked.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
We talked about marriage, but not not that I'm not
going to propose you now because I'm not financially ready.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
No, just you know, I just did it when I
thought I was already give you an ultimatum over those
seven years.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
Yeah, she joked about it because like it took her
sister her was I think maybe thirteen years, thirteen years
before they were high school sweethearts.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Yeah, and it took him that long. So she's like,
I give you half.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
That was a joke that kind of thing is I
did it at like art seven year deadline, which.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Was very same. So eight five, five, five, nine, one
one three five stare ago. This woman with her boyfriend
for six years. They don't live together. She wants to
marry him, he doesn't want to have the conversation. She
acknowledges that they that she believes they're both in love.
She's in love and he loves her. But hey, she's ready,
and I think after six years that's a very fair
(06:33):
conversation to have, oh yes, and very an opportunity for
clear communication about intentions. I do not think that she's unreasonable.
So she wants that, right.
Speaker 5 (06:43):
That's the thing Like if the woman or man, whoever
in the situation wants it, I think you need to
express your needs.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
That's something really important.
Speaker 5 (06:50):
And I also do think that I personally feel if
I was to do this again, I wouldn't live with
a boyfriend. I had a great experience because I ended
up getting married and we're in a healthy marriage. I
would never play house again at this big age. I
feel like for me, that's not I would never want
to give somebody that impression that like okay, like we're
gonna be fine.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Here if you don't give me the ring. If that's
what I want, right, let's just say.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
But I always say too, why if I get divorced,
I'm not doing this again.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I'm definitely not doing the marathon again. So we'll see.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
I think I'm gonna just live like my mom when
she just has her own place, her own house, her
own things, and have my little boyfriend come over whatever.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
But I don't know. I feel like playing house is dangerous. Well,
and on my we have the Fred Show constitution that
I have the fread the Personal Tank Commandments, and of
those ten commandments, one is never never present an ultimatum.
Never present an ultimatum, because you will learn to regret.
You will live to regret that. Because I believe that
if you go to somebody and say male or female
(07:43):
and say you do this or yeah, then you got
there's two things they're gonna happen. They're either gonna do
it and you're always gonna wonder if that's what they
wanted to do, or they're not gonna do it, and
then you have to make a decision I'm gone or
if I stay. Now my word means nothing because if
you say you either you proposed to me, we're getting
married or I'm out, and then the person doesn't says okay,
(08:05):
I'm not going to do it, and then you you said,
oh well fine, I'll stay. Then I'm sorry, but they don't.
The ultimatums won't work anymore. So and again I would
hate to wonder and even if it works out years
down the road, like did he or she really want that?
Or did I force it?
Speaker 3 (08:22):
You know?
Speaker 4 (08:23):
Yeah? Have you had conversations with Big Tim about marriage?
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yeah, all the time.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
He wants to be married, but like you said, financially,
he's just not in a position to do it the
way he wants to do it for me. And it
feels like I require a lot and I do. And so,
you know, hopefully on his timing it's in the right time.
But if it's not, if it's not in my time,
and then I'm moving on.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Let me ask you this, Kiki. So he says financially
that he isn't quite ready. Yeah, do you how long
has he been saying this year? No, we haven't been
talking about it that long.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Because there was like goals, like he wanted to help
me buy my house, he wanted to help me get
the car, I want it. So once those things were
a com but she was like, Okay, now my new
focus is us getting.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Me for a year maybe. Yeah. Do you do you
ever watch his spending and be like, now, hold on,
oh yes, because if that if you're telling me that
you're saving, then what are you doing with that airplane
you just bought? Literally that's the same thing.
Speaker 3 (09:19):
But but he always blames it on me because I
have a problem with booking vacations that I don't consult
him about and he's like, okay, so we're going to
Turks and Caicos. You do understand that that's a couple
of brand that you know, we weren't planning for.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
We still have regular bills.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
So it's things that in the relationship you have to
compromise on, Like if I truly want to ring, I
gotta stop booking vacations and spending his money.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, because I feel like if somebody were saying to me,
I'm gonna do it, I just got to save money,
and then they're always buying stuff on Amazon and I
don't know's with different money. Wait, man, hold on, hold up,
hold up that right there is like a tenth of
a character. We're on our way and you're spending it Emily,
good morning.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Hi, Hey, how's it going.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Hey stayre go, Welcome to the show. Thanks for being
part of the thirteen.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
By the way, Oh, I mean I love it. I
also had a dog with me. If he can't say
fourteen or thirteen and they came home we're.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Including dogs, then we're in really good shape. But I
don't think we are anyway. Sorry, go ahead, No, you're good.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Basically everything Keky just okay. So everything Kekey was saying,
it's about communication and also like she has a firm
reason and she's had conversations with Big tim. It sounds
like this girl has asked and he's just dodged a question, right,
I'd be One thing is like he could absolu like
hes like there's the fact that there's a no clear
conversation or like clear goals like he said, like that's
(10:38):
a huge red flag. It'd be. One thing is like
he you know, did like say he wanted to you know,
no debt or put down payment on a house whatever.
So like the fact that she just has gotten no
solid answer or clear communication.
Speaker 6 (10:51):
Is just she needs to go.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I got it.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I don't if they can't have that conversation after six years,
like there's just some fundamental communication issues.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I agree, I have six years. He needs to have
some kind of answer either I'm not ready, or I
need more time, or I need more money, or or
I don't want to do it or something. He's got
to tell her something. But after this period of time,
for him just to ignore it like it's not happening,
that's not a good right. I feel like he.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Might have the answer also that oh he was hoping
to change his mind and he would want to get
married one day, but it hasn't happened yet, because that's
also not fair to her.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, Emily. Thank you have a good day,
you too, Glad you called. Thanks for listening. Hi, Nina
going almighty? Mean NA stay or go? What should Griselda
kik you do?
Speaker 7 (11:42):
And it does like what you say.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Yeah, I waited five years in our relationship, had two kids,
would a dude, and.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
It went absolutely nowhere.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
I met him when I was eighteen, lefton when I
was twenty four.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
The five years of my life is basically what Kiki's
that you're playing house with someone up until they're basically
like okay, Well you know, we don't want to do it.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Did he tell you that he didn't want to do it? Like,
did you guys talk about it? He was like soon,
maybe someday whatever, or did he just never? Oh no,
we've talked about it.
Speaker 7 (12:14):
I basically quote him, no, I want to ring And
he's like, well, you know, and at one point you
get of stuff.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
You gotta figure it out for yourself.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
You gotta you gotta basically that ultim Yeah, and he's
not gonna waste your time. Anina, Hey, thank you. By
the way, you find did you get married to somebody else?
Or what did you wind up doing? Meet somebody else?
Speaker 2 (12:36):
I'm living my best to go girl life.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Do you have a good day? Thank you so much
for calling Anna. Good morning, Good morning, hi Anna stare Go.
What do you think Griselda Kekey Makeitha should do?
Speaker 7 (12:51):
I think she should stay, but she needs they need
to have a serious conversation. I think, you know it's
been said like she it doesn't seem like they've had that,
and she needs to make her expectations clear. I was
in before I moved in with my boyfriend. I had
that conversation of like, I'm only going to give it
three years in this relationship, and I know you don't
(13:13):
like ultimatum. It wasn't an ultimatum. It was just making
my expectations clear that I expect our relationship to be
at the point where we're ready to get married by
three years. And he ended up proposing at two and
a half.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
So it's worked out.
Speaker 7 (13:26):
We're engaged now. But I think she needs to make
her expectations clear with him, and if he's not ready,
then she needs to go.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, I think you got to I agree. I think
you got to communicate, you know, and you have a
right to change your mind. But if that's somebody's aspiration
to be married and it's not yours, you're right. I mean,
at what point do you say I And especially when
it comes to maybe she wants kids or something like that.
I mean, I do understand that that women at a
certain point in their lives are like, hey, look, there's
(13:54):
only so much time for me to do this. And
it's nothing against you, but it's like I want to
do it, So what are we doing?
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (14:00):
And I think six years is pretty generous.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (14:03):
I think it also depends on the age. If they're younger,
maybe you know, they need more time. But if she's
a if they're a full ground adult, then six years
is a long time.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah. Yeah, Anna, thank you, thanks for listening. Have a
great day. Yeah, I love you too. Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny. Hey, Fred,
you've been with somebody for ten you've been with the
man or a woman? Ten years? Partner? Yeah, okay, woman
after ten years? She's you're a woman. But how are
(14:36):
you getting away with that? Are you guys on the
same page?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I'm a man.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
No, I well we got that part, but are you
Are you guys on the same page about this? Or
does she want to be married and you've just gotten
away with a decade?
Speaker 6 (14:49):
No, we're engaged, Fred, the only being.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Just like Keith said, we do vacationing way too much.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Now do you agree on that, Danny? Do you guys
are agreed that you're spending your money on stuff that
could go towards the wedding and you said that you
can't afford it? Or is she like, hey, come on,
that's an excuse, excuse.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
So usually I'm allowed only about a week and vacation.
I actually have to take another week vacation, non paid,
just so we can go on another vacation.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
There's the money, are you guys? My question though, is
does she agree with this or is she like, no,
you're making excuses, Danny.
Speaker 6 (15:24):
Yeah, she's making exactly she should be like, now you're
making excuses?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Are you making excuses?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
No?
Speaker 6 (15:29):
Okay, perfect example. We had like twenty five hundred, says
towards it. Next you know, the athy went out and
now I got to spend the money on the ethy.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Of the house. Okay, but let me ask you this,
after ten years, if you really want to be married,
you could do it for free. You could go get
married right now for the cost of a marriage license
if you wanted to. So, Fred, we like to.
Speaker 6 (15:52):
Party like a lot. We're Mexican, so you know we're
thinking about you know, Abanda worth, thinking about a hall
in a you know which is ranch. Yeah, you know right,
we're gonna about.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Ten thousand, get that time out. Ten thousand. That's nothing
for a wedding.
Speaker 6 (16:10):
Yeah, if you could do well, we know some people
that can do it for the low.
Speaker 1 (16:13):
That's right. I see. So basically you're saying you wouldn't
get away with just being married, Like it's got to
be a production and it's gonna take money. Yeah, okay,
I think I want to be invited in this wedding
by with the bond.
Speaker 6 (16:27):
We're gonna have a good.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Time, okay, good, all right, Well wait ten years, but
you let me know if I'm still alive, I'll be there.
Okay he is from that, Yeah, hopefully if you I mean,
I can getting a hall in a banda right now,
if you want. I mean, we know something that I
know some people. They know some people from the low
(16:50):
I mean, Danny, I get on even the lower than
low exactly, James Brown, we can do it. Friday. He's
a man, Fred, he's a man, and so he said
man just to be exacally. I love you, David,
The Fred Show On Demand News
Show Links
Official WebsitePopular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com