February 17, 2021 • 35 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
She's saying, I should not get with my my friend,
my good friend who passed away many years ago. I
should not get with his widow, is what you're saying.
I say, do it. Okay, let's get into this right now.
In the Tangent. It's the Tangent we couldn't talk about
on air. All right, guys, welcome, it's our off air
(00:20):
uncensored podcast. And no, we haven't been that good about
doing these lately, mainly because the suits have had us
all tied up the last couple of weeks. You know,
the suits call these meetings and they make us you know,
they analyze everything. And then we got to really missed
last and then it was a holiday on Monday. So
we were doing we were doing well for a while
and then and then yeah, and then we got wrapped
up in the in the stuff. But here we are.
Now here, we are with the Tangent. And so we
(00:42):
mentioned the show today that I it's a it's a
not funny joke anymore. But just to Recabum, we all
knew a guy and I was very We're all were
close with him. I was very close with him, he
and his wife, his family's kids, everybody for like a decade.
And this guy was a good looking guy, a funny guy.
(01:04):
Everyone loved him. His wife is super hot and way
better looking than him, which speaks really to how hot
she is. And she's hot anyway. So I used to
joke with him about, dude, I hope I wind up
like you someday. Man, I hope I wind up marrying
somebody who's so much hotter than me that people say
this to me. You know that, people go, dude, how
(01:25):
did you do that? You know? Because whatever, And we
joke about it. I'm like, dude, anything ever happens to you,
I'm banging your wife. And we would laugh about it. It
It was funny, and he'd go, hot's fine, dude, you can't.
He never said no, never said no. We laughed about it,
we joked. Sadly he's no longer with us anymore. And yeah,
our ip. So now the question is, and this is
(01:45):
actually a conversation that has been had among our common peers,
not together, but individually. It's been like, why don't you
guys like, why don't you? Yeah? And I think her
objection is that it would affect our friendship. I don't
think her objection is that it's a bad idea. I
think her objection is that it could affect our friendship,
(02:06):
which it would be my objection, plus in my disrespecting
my deceased friend. But he's gone right like he's not
here anymore. So I don't know, you can't live like that.
I mean, I don't think that's a reason not to
do it. Because he's moved on. He's he's Gucci, you
know what I'm saying, Like he don't. I don't think
he's you know, I believe that people watch over us
(02:28):
when they pass away. I believe their spirits, you know,
I do believe in all that. I don't believe they
were policing us though, you know, I don't think my
grandparents died and they were so instrumental in my life.
Another look over me and are like, you know, constantly
either approving or disapproving of my decisions. I don't think
that's what's going on. I think they got plenty of
other things to do in heaven. They earned it not
to have to look over and go, you're really gonna
(02:49):
bang that girl? Really? You know, I don't think that's
what I don't think that's what's going on. Do you
do you think that people die and they do. You
think my friend has passed away, and you think he's
in heaven and he just sits there every day and
stares at his wife and what she's doing. No. I
think he's the type of person that everyone He would
want everyone to be happy. And if it's going to
be happy, you guys are together, and that's what's meant
to be, and you guys are gonna make a good
(03:09):
couple or whatever. Yeah, maybe I think he'd be down
for it. He'd rather be you than somebody else. You
know what I'm saying. Well, that's what's interesting. It's a
few people have pursued this individual and who he did
not like. Wow, and so if you know, at least
you've had the blessing, you know what I'm saying, Well, indirectly,
I don't think any of us trust me. I never
(03:30):
thought it was gonna happen. I wish it. I wish
it wouldn't um. But I think about it sometimes and
I feel guilty for I feel guilty now for having
joked about it, because I guess you never know. But
if nobody jokes about stuff like that and things, it's
ever gonna happen. I never if the guy were sick
and I had made those jokes, well that makes me
an asshole, But like we was fine, and who who
(03:50):
could ever know in a you know, a ten year
friendship at the end of you know, at the tenth
year or something, that someone's gonna pass away. I don't think,
you know, and highsights of course twenty twenty and never
would have made the joke. But I don't know. That
seems a little uncomfy for me. I'm kind of on
the fence. But then also I have this irrational fear
that my boyfriend is attracted to all of my friends
(04:11):
because they're way hotter than me. And like, if I
was dead and he started hooking up with my best
friend Abby or something, I'm gonna look down and be like,
I know you were attracted to her, you son of
a I would be so much. I don't think you're
looking you'd be looking down or looking up, probably up.
(04:35):
He just sent you to hell. That's where I'll be.
I'll be like your friend's wife, no going down. I
don't know. I don't know. I think our opinion, really
you really can't take our opinion because we know both parties,
you know, what I'm saying, we knew that person, don't
(04:56):
do it? Well, I think I think you're a and
it actually does matter because you knew both people, right,
and But either way, I don't I don't firmly believe
that this individual. If my reason for not doing that
is because I'm afraid of upsetting that person, I mean,
I don't think. I don't think it's any way to live.
(05:17):
Would you be able to handle everyone else's opinion if
you were to do it, you know what I'm saying,
Like you're in a circle of friends, and you know,
if it did happen, I don't think. I think anyone
who knows me personally and knows her, if we were
actually giving it a shot, like to be like more
than friends, I don't think anybody would say anything because
because you know, look, I talk a big game here,
(05:39):
and I talk a lot of shit. But like people
who know me personally and know how much I cared
about him and I care about her and I care
about my friends, I don't think they would think anything
of it. You know, right now we're talking about it salaciously.
Right now, we're joking about like the sexual aspect of it,
right But I don't think that people who outsiders might
hear the story and go, oh my god, what are
you doing? But I don't think people who know both
(05:59):
of us would think much of it. I think, especially
if it worked out, they might be like, well, that's cool,
but it would be a little weird. I have to
be honest, it'd be a little weird to share moments,
you know, intimate moments with somebody and you know that
your good friend had done the same thing. That would
be a little strange. But everybody's had those moments with
somebody else, and I think there are people who have
(06:20):
had those moments with people they know too. I mean,
have you has anyone in the room ever slept with
somebody who a friend has slept with? No? Never, never, never,
You've never hooked up with a guy who also hooked
up with a friend. Not necessarily dated, but like, I'm
loyal to a fault, like I even if you don't
ask for that amount of loyalty, it's just it's just
(06:42):
who I am. So I would not talk to, flirt
with touch anyone that any of my friends ever have
loved that, whether or not, I just it just makes
me a uncomfortable b I wouldn't want it done to me.
I have done it with me, I have done it.
It's happened to me more than I have done it.
But it's always been casual then I'm aware of now. Granted,
I don't know what my exes have done, but I'm
(07:04):
saying to you, like, in one case, a buddy of
mine hooked up with a girl like on a one
off deal, and then years later I did, and there
was no issue with it because nobody had any emotion.
There was no emotion involved, right. It also wasn't a
very well thought out thing. Now, it's happened to me
many times where guys I know hooke up with girls
after I did. That's up to them, but it doesn't
bother me because again, if I date you for a
(07:26):
while and then you wind up, and then one of
my friends winds up with you, I think that's screwed up.
But if we just hook up one time, I don't
own you, you don't own me. I can't decide what
happens next. But weren't they married? What your friend and
his ex wife? Please? Dad? So yes, still sketchy, Fred,
still sketchy, Like you know my ex best friend Page,
(07:49):
I still hate you. By the way, I hope you
listen to my stuff. I hate you. Wow, it started
dating my boyfriend at the time and sleeping with him
or whatever. Okay, that's way different. I think it's kind
of okay. It's a little similar because even if we
had were done, I don't have any feelings, like I
still don't want you to hook up with him, like
you were my friend. You were with us during that relationship.
Were you thinking about him when I was with him?
Like Christie, if my friend were still alive and they
(08:10):
got divorced, off limits, Yeah, died, he's gone. He's not
on the earth anymore. Like that's that's not in all
the same. It's completely different. Though. If I'm friends with
both people and then they get divorced and there's ill will,
I can't I cannot hook up with her, that is
not okay. It depends more on your view of the
afterlife and spirits and souls, Like I fully get signs
(08:32):
from people who have passed on all the time. Therefore,
I know that they're looking over me. I can feel
their presence. So it's I think it's more about what
your opinion of that is. And if you think he
would have approved or you know, I think that's what
it's more about. I think my opinion is similar to
yours in a lot of ways. I don't think it's
I think it's passive. Though I don't think it's active,
(08:53):
you know, I don't. Personally, I don't believe, like I said,
that people I care about are looking over me every
single move I make it, every decision I make. I mean,
So that's what I'm saying is I don't think. I
don't think he's watching over me, going at the in
the act, going what do you do? Oh? But I
think he would be aware, in my opinion, in my
view of what happens after you pass, he would definitely
(09:15):
be aware. So that's where I would have an issue. Also,
like loyalty for me just applies dead or alive, Like
they were my best friend. So I'm disloyal if I
sleep with her. I'm saying my own views, but I
hold myself to my own standard. I don't care what
anybody else does. So you believe it's disloyal if I
wouldn't do it, Let's say that I wouldn't. I'm just asking.
(09:38):
I never judge you for doing it. I just I
hold myself to my own rule book. I don't hold
anyone else to that. I just do what I believe
is right and wrong, and I would never judge you.
If you did that, well, I'm not worried about your judgment.
I was just asking you to elaborate on your opinion.
Would I do that? No, I would not. However, if
you do that and you guys are in love, I
would be happy for you. I guess you just have
to really love her and date her like. It has
(10:00):
to be a serious thing. It can't be a casual banging.
Then yeah, well I don't know about that. I mean,
we'll look. I don't know about that. You won't know
until it happens. You know. Here's the other thing is
we're not we're not giving this other person any equity
in this decision either. I mean, like she can have
her own reasons for this too. You know what I mean?
This is now. This is first of all, it's not
up to me entirely. And second of all, whatever terms
she's comfortable with are the terms. You know. It's you're
(10:23):
saying to me, I have to be a love and dater.
I don't. Maybe maybe she maybe she wants the companionship.
Maybe she wants that physicality, that intimacy, she's not getting
it from anybody else. Maybe that to her is it's
valuable to have that from someone she trusts, versus going
out and dating a bunch of randoms. You know, maybe
maybe to her that's important and it doesn't have to
We don't have to fall in love and get married.
(10:45):
There's two parties. So she holds herself as a as
a wife or a widow to her own standards, and
you hold yourself as a friend to those. And then
you guys have to decide. But you've been around her
a million times. I think we would have already known
if you were in love with her or if you're
going to be in love with her. But again, I
don't think that's the standard. I don't think it has
to be that. That's up to me and that's up
to her. Um. You know, you guys are saying you'd
(11:07):
have to be in You said, Christy, you'd have to
be in love to do it. I don't. I don't
think so. I think that's whatever we decide, and she
gets a voted in that too, absolutely, But I think
you would already know. I mean so so are you
saying that you are attracted to her? Oh, I'm absolutely
attracted to her. But yeah, the standard, I don't think
the standard has to be love. I don't think the
standard has anything to do with loyalty either for me
(11:29):
for me, right, Okay, she's probably emotional, right, Like I mean,
even if she were to sleep with you, I'm sure
there'd be some connection with her. You can't just like
date her like you would. You know, you don't have
the best you're a single man who likes to hook
up with you. I would certainly hold that I would
certainly hold that approach at a higher standard without a question.
I think her friendship to you is more valuable too
(11:51):
than just a one off hook up. I mean, in
my opinion, I don't know from what I've seen, you
guys have a really great friendship and a lot of
history and to get or you can share memories of
this person that you both loved. So I don't know
that I would recommend a one off hook up. But well,
and that's where it's remained for years. And this is
all hypothetical, right, you know, we're obviously just throwing this
(12:11):
out there for something to talk about, because it came
up on the show. But I you know, I don't.
You're two adults. I've struggled with this idea in my head,
first that I said that thing while he was alive,
and second, like, well, now what could I do with that?
And you know, if it's me or some guy he
didn't like, or some random or something, I don't like
that either, right, I don't know. But she been has
(12:34):
she dated anyone or seen anyone? No? No, no, no, no
no no. I think it's whatever you're comfortable obviously in
her you're comfortable with doing and how you what you
feel is right and wrong. And really that's all we
can care about is what we think is the right
move for us, you know, right right? But no, I
don't think we would judge you if that happened, or
judge well, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be worried about yeah,
(12:55):
outside judgment. I you know, I don't. That's that's a
decision that, like I said, I mean, we keep talking
about what I would do and what happens to me.
I mean there's there are two people here. Oh yeah,
I mean we don't have her to ask her. But
I mean I think if you guys, but she's a
part of the decision. Absolutely, so absolutely I would hope.
So yeah, I say, no, that relationship, it's gonna end
(13:18):
real quick. I don't know. I mean, again, this is
all hypothetical. Maybe this is just what she needs to
get back out there. You know, maybe we have a
thing and we have fun and she realizes I can
feel some kind of way and I can get back
on the horse and whatever, and then you know, maybe
we're not to Because Sarufio's point, you don't I don't
know what the future holds. So if it doesn't work out,
maybe it's maybe you know, oh, you know what, I
(13:41):
can do this, and then you know, she meets somebody
else and falls in love and again, But can you
do that? Fred? Can you be that person that knows
that this is just a hook up thing and if
you really attracted to her and be like, oh, she's
gonna move on to somebody else. And I think there
are other limitations here that would prevent it from probably
being a forever thing. I mean she, in fairness, she's
a lot older than I am. In fairness, she's at
(14:02):
a whole different stage in her life. I mean, she
has kids that are my age, you know what I'm saying.
So I'm not saying to you that it would not
be meaningless. I'm not saying to you that it's just
a bang. But I'm also saying to you the likelihood
of us getting married it's pretty slam probably not going
to happen. You just have to weigh out, you know,
the cost and reward of that situation, and do whatever
you guys both decide. You know, um, moving along hypothetically, No,
(14:27):
trust me, this is all. If this were anything more
than I have apothetical, I mean it's been years, right,
so like it would have, it would have happened. I think,
if if there were anything more than just something I
think about. But you know, I overthink everything, so I
sit around and think about things like this all day
and then nothing happens, and then I get upset about
them sometimes and I you know, we just rev myself
up over things that didn't even happen yet at all.
(14:48):
Wild life, that is wild. You don't do that with anxiety.
You don't. You don't sit and think about things and
feel a certain kind of way. Yeah. Um, no, I've
done so much, and I'm not saying you haven't. But
for me, personally. I've done so much work on coping
mechanisms and things that I have been doing to drive
myself crazy and how to actively stop those thoughts that
(15:08):
I try my best not to. I really try hard.
My anxiety is more like are bad things going to
happen to people I love? And that is what I'm
always afraid of. Yeah, I mean I don't sit around
and spin out all day, but I think about I
spend time thinking about things. Um, whether it's a purchase,
whether it's a decision, whether it's something I want to pursue.
(15:30):
I really think about it. Um. I don't know that
that's necessarily fed to anxiety as much as it is
just I that's just the way my brain works. I'm
very very tight bay, you know. But I also I
can find myself thinking things out to a level where
I start to feel a certain kind of way about
an event that has not taken place. Um. So researchers
(15:51):
have found and came on send me this reach, you know.
I love that word that in participating. I don't like researchers.
I don't participating. I can say participating one off, but
if it's part of a sentence, doesn't come out right. Ever, really,
I don't know why is there a word like that
for you? Participating locations are there are some participating locations.
(16:14):
I don't know why it got weird. It got weird,
there are some participating it gets weird as part of
a sentence, I can't say it. I don't know why. No.
Where is? Where is? What is the state of my birth?
I was born there? Where is it? I was born
in Massachusetts. It's a beautiful, beautiful place this time of year.
(16:40):
Researchers found that many women make noise while in bed
this is a sexual conversation, not surprisingly, but not necessarily
while they were having an orgasm six but so okay,
but not necessarily faking it sixty six percent, so that
they moaned to speed up the climax, which is faking
it eighty seven percent, and said that they vocalized during
(17:01):
sex to boost self esteem. Okay, so it's all faking it, right,
So like the why do women moan during sex? And
a lot of women are not moaning because they can't
control how good it feels, and they're making a noise.
There's a lot of like other reason interesting I know
for a fact, I mean that women will say something
really really hot, or or make a certain kind of
noise to do that. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know
(17:24):
you do it, but other other women do it too.
Um yeah, or it's like okay, it's for this to
be It usually happens not long after they come, which
is so now that you've come, it's like, okay, we
can be done now, and that's when usually it's yeah,
louder tire for the lights turned on in the club.
(17:59):
Either follow me when the Eric Pride comes back? Time
to go trafis yeah, exactly this pussy tire? Damn. So
what are you, Paulina? What's your what is your go
(18:19):
to phrase to get it wrapped up? Let's hear it?
I mean you just you just told us about your Hey,
you're lying. You say you're lazy in bed, so you're
lying there. I got better, right, like I got better.
I haven't been watching lately. I haven't seen any game
footage in a while. Yeah, you guys know, in the
(18:41):
last three months, you've apparently gotten significantly better. I don't know,
if anything, Pauline, I would expect you to be the
same level of laziness after three or four months, because
if you got if it got you this far, then
why change? I got a railment a little bit. You know,
someone's doing the railing. Yeah, that's true. Though I'm lazy,
(19:03):
but I have my moments where I'm not lazy. Okay,
I enjoy a few things here and there. And by
the way, you made a revelation today on the air
that is contradictory to what you've constantly said to us
off the air, which is the no condom club. You know,
I know you're in a relationship now three or four
months from what we understand. This is all stuff you've
shared on the air. Correct, So I'm not I don't.
I don't think I'm speaking out of turn. At any
(19:24):
point you can tell me to stop. But the birth
control method, you know, we were concerned about you getting pregnant.
We don't want you to get pregnant, Paulina, you know,
we want you to take this all in stride. Thinks
you're moving so quickly. That would be another layer that
we're you know, maybe not all ready for meeting you.
I was gonna say, who's we I mean, are you
ready to have a kid right now? No? No, see
(19:45):
there you go. I'm not ready. The house new boyfriend house,
You're moving in together in four months. Yeah, it's a
lot going on. The kids thing, Like, listen, when are
we ever ready? Someone told me that once and I
was like, you're not wrong, Like who sits there? Okay?
But lands a lot of people, a lot a lot
of yeah that and I mean pauling a really often
(20:05):
it just kind of just happens. I'm not I'm not
playing that game. Yeah I would be. I'm telling you
I feel very strongly about this. I want you to
be really thoughtful about adding anything more to this equation.
I hope that. I hope that you guys are meant
to be and that it just everything that piles on
everything and you just figure it out and stride and
you're together for a hundred years. But statistically speaking, boyfriend
(20:26):
of three months, you bought a house, you're moving in together.
Add a kid, an unplanned kid to that, Yeah, that's
a lot of shits. I'm not planning a kid, thank you.
It doesn't sound like you're not planning one. Well. No,
I'm not on birth control. For my own reasons, I
won't go on it. But I do have a not
that it matters, but this is what I do. I
have a calendar, yeah right, apps right, and it does
(20:47):
tell me which days like whatever. We use condoms and
sometimes a little treat we don't use condoms. I'm not
saying it's safe. I'm not promoting that. But we just
have our own method and it's just worked. My therapist
use that method. She's just had a baby. Yeah, it
could happen. You know, it's the club getting you know,
it's not listen, I know it can still happen. Oh yeah,
(21:09):
I'm not pregnant. Yeah, I'm not naive, I know, but
we are one hundred percent like we don't finish where
it's supposed to be finished. I only I only bring
this up because because if you could contradict something you
already said publicly, which is, oh, I know, I use
I use protection all every single time we own condoms
like we have that you own them, well, that's good
as long as they're you know, as long as they're
(21:34):
in the room. Yeah, no, that's fine. It's like a
humidifier or something. Turn it on and it just changes
the condition to the whole room. We want them. It's
weird because the female body is a weird man when
it comes to your population and all of that. I
don't want to get to into it, but it's just
very interesting how they give you this time frame, like
for those women who actually want to get pregnant, right,
But then I read it could happen any other day
(21:55):
that you're not, So I'm like, what's technically like, Like,
technically speaking, I don't mean to teach you guys about
you because we've had this conversation before. I mean, it's
actually not easy to get pregnant. It's a pretty small
window technically speaking. Now, granted there are so many variables,
so many variables, but like it's amazing people who don't
like have sex one time and get pregnant. That's amazing
(22:17):
to me because the window is not that wide for
a high percentage chance at pregnancy, and so that always
kind of blows me away. But yet, you know people,
it happens people every day, right, That's what I'm saying.
I'm like, okay, but you guys who have a that
is a very complicated part. That whole system is very complicated.
To get an app just to complicated. And it's not
(22:38):
just the schedule of it. It's the hormones, it's the
emotions of it, it's it's the it's the juices, the
whole thing. Yeah, it's a part seems pretty easy. If
it's not hard, p comes out of it. If it's hard,
then jews comes out of it, and that's it. I
think that's come out of it. It's hard like morning wood,
(23:01):
you got morning but you're like half and half yeah,
half tub. It's built to not have pe come out
of it if you're fully erect and learned that in it.
I think my pe teacher taught us that in health class.
And then after then, after you're done with the sexy time,
you're supposed to pee because like everybody, everybody, all the bacteria,
everyone's supposed to be Yeah, yep yea and Paulina, you're
(23:24):
risking it though, that's scary. It is a risky game.
I'm aware. I'm not going to play like, oh no,
I had no idea yet. I know, I know, but
I just I get the birth control thing that that's
a tough one because you've been and I don't plan
on it, to be honest, I understand why. I mean,
I think it's an unfair expectation that I don't think
men necessarily and I fully don't, but I don't think
I think I know more than I did about what
(23:48):
the effect that can have on your mood and your
body and all of those things. The problem is, short
of condoms, there really isn't a method for me that's
as that's as fool proof, right, and I say as
full proof ninety eight ninety nine percent effective or whatever.
So so it would be hard for me to be
in a relationship where we were having sex and we're
(24:08):
together and we're like monogamous. It would be hard for
me to imagine a world where there's not some form
of semi permanent birth control in place. Right, because there's
a pill for me. Let's say there's a pill for
me that's equally effective, I'll take it. There isn't no there,
there is there. There's a birth control pill for men.
It was just as effective. But the only reason why
I didn't go mass production is because men reported feeling
(24:30):
emotional from it. Okay, well there is, it didn't. My
point is, I don't care if it. When it isn't,
it's not, you can't care it. Yeah, it doesn't exist.
If it does exist, you can't buy it. So my
point is I don't have as many options, So that
would be a tricky part of a relationship, I think
for me, but I also understand it and I would
never force someone to take the pill or anything like that.
(24:50):
I could force them, but you know what I'm saying,
I would never go and tell a woman, well, this
is how we have to do it, because I understand
that it has further reaching, um sort of in applications
for you then it does for us. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't want to speak on it too much because
I've never been on it, so like I don't know
the side effects, only what I've read and heard. But
if I want to, if you don't mind, I want
(25:11):
to say one thing. I feel like, if I want
a kid in two years, I feel like maybe now
is not the time. I could be wrong a sofa doctor.
Don't at me, but I'm just saying like, I want
a kid in two years, and I feel like, maybe
now is not the time to do that. You know what,
I understand. My sister was on birth control for She's
been open about this too sixteen seventeen years, and also
(25:32):
they were concerned about other difficulties she might have, and
she was pregnant in two weeks. I will say every
time I met the guy know every single time, and
this has been with multiple guy knows. I ask, are
you sure that birth control this pill is not going
to affect anything once I stopped taking it, and they
assure me a million hundred percent. So I know there's
a lot of rumors and stuff that it does, and
(25:54):
it does take some people, like a couple months to
get it out of their system, but it does not
make you infertile. And anyways, was it my sister expected
She thought, hey, you know, I'll go off the pill now,
and then you know that gives us in surprise. You know,
whatever happens, it happens. It happened immediately. Yeah, that happens
to some people. To other people, yeah, it takes three
(26:15):
six months, sometimes a year to get out of the
system fully. So I don't know. So I don't know
if that's the reason that's to do it. But what
do I know. I am not a doctor, I'm not
a woman. I do not know. I'm not man explanning.
I do not know. I just wanted to make that
clear because I think the doctors would want us to
say that, because totally that's what they are always saying,
is like it's not something that will affect you down
(26:37):
the line. Oh, I know, and I've thought of that
too and stuff, and I don't again, I'm not spreading
false news rumors or anything. And I'm glad that you
clarify that. I think I'm just so weird about me
that I'm like, knowing my luck, something will happen and
anyway won't it won't, I know, I know, I just
got to get that out of my head. So I've
been researching and looking into options, and truthfully, if I
could be honest to my boyfriend doesn't want me to
(26:59):
go on the pill. He thinks that it's there will
there will be some side effects in the future, and
I'm like, yeah, there are effects. I mean, it affects
you primarily, but yeah, I know. I know plenty of
guys who they say my wife, My wife and I
were cool, everything was cool. Then she went on the
pill and then quote unquote became a girl, you know,
in that the emotions became It does it can? I
will say it can lower your sex drive. A lot
(27:20):
of women have reported that, so I think that's an issue.
But I mean there's also I U d there's also
something you can put in your arm there's also a
number rings, so like, you have a lot of options
other than the pill that you have to take every day.
A lot of my friends can't remember to take a
pill that you've encountered that before. So I think you
know there's a lot of options. It's, well, that's the problem, right,
Like if I've been in relationships where okay, like we
(27:43):
are considerate and have a conversation and say like, okay,
we're gonna be monogamous, we're both good, this is going
to be the method, right, And in this case, it's
you're on the pill, that's the method, and it's decided together. Right.
It's not me going You're gonna take the fucking pill
so I can do what I want. It's that's the deal.
If you decide on that in a relationship, then you
(28:03):
have to I believe you got to be responsible and
take ownership of that part of it, right because at
that point we've decided this together hopefully, and there's nothing
else I can do. And so if you then if
you're not good about taking a pill, then don't agree
to that. I mean, it's it's that simple, right, Like,
if you don't take your pill every day, if you're
not compliant, then just say I don't like that method,
(28:24):
like we're gonna have to use condoms to do something else.
But that I hear this all the time. It's like, oh, yeah, sorry,
I'm pregnant. I've got to take the pill last week.
It's like, well then you okay, then you got to
tell me you're I'm pregnant. I forgot to take the pill.
As I know somebody who got pregnant, and the reason
that they claimed they were pregnant, it's because they weren't.
They were lazy about the pill for a short period
(28:47):
of time, or it conflicted with medication they were taking,
so be it. But then you got so then say
that right, So then I think, like again, if we're
deciding this together, if I'm just being a jackass guy
and I'm not don't care, I'm not paying attention, then
I deserve it. But like, if you make a joint
decision in a relationship, here's our method, then you know,
if if it's compromised, then don't you say like, hey,
(29:10):
this is not a good time to Yeah, yeah, you know,
I just had Actually this is so interesting that you
say you've had this discussion. Me and golf guy literally
talked about it this weekend. My iod has to come
out this year, and I was like, I think I'm
going to switch to a different form, but if I
take the pill, it's kind of risky because I forget
things all the time. And so we had like a
full length discussion about what I should do because I
(29:31):
really don't know what I'm going to do now because
the iod. He doesn't like it because it you can,
you know, you can feel it something I don't, and
so I was going to take it out and get
something else, but I don't know what the hell to
do with my body. It's so responsible. I was just asking, like,
what should I do? I don't know, and it's totally
up to you. Yeah, of course, and he's too. Yeah
he might get a vote, but it's totally up to
you and whatever you decide together. But then if you know,
(29:53):
if it's condoms, fine, it's condoms, then we're both responsible
for that. Again, if if there were a pill for men,
and you're like, you know, Fred, you're taking the pill
for men, then I have If that's the method, then
I have to be good about it. I have to
be responsible about it. I feel like, you know, I've
been in more than one situation where it's like that's
our method, and then it's like, but you're not. Oh
you haven't taken it, Like what are you doing? Like
(30:14):
sometimes you just forget and I'm like a forgetful person,
So I can't do the pill. It would just I
think a day. I mean we're talking like days, weeks.
I mean, you know you can't because at a time
to try to counteract, like because this affects you primarily, right,
but it also that decision affects me. And if we
were responsible about the decision, then I don't know. I
(30:34):
guess at that point either, what was the point of
the conversation. I guess if I get like the shot
it makes me really emotional. I've tried that before. I
get like, my hormones are just off the charts. The
pill I forget, and the IUD has a lot of
side effects. I'm like, none of these are great, none
of you have to put that in yourself. You're not
into that, it's terrifying. Yeah, well you go up there
(30:56):
for other things, don't you me? No, really go there. Well,
you're a you're in a long distance relationship, so that's
your that's your birth control right there. Thanks, thanks for
reminding me. That's just part of my life. I may
go get a sect to me, am, I get a secto.
Can I do that too? Yes, you can. It's a
(31:18):
lot it's a whole lot more intrusive for you. I
actually thought of that. But if I do it, it's
a lot easier for men. Right, and I want kids.
They have to untie, No, you can't do you know,
I'm not going to do it. That's it's a pretty
invasive surgery for five minutes and then I like and
I've heard of people doing it, but you know what
I hear more from my my married friends is after
they have like their second kid or whatever, if it's
a C section, they do it while they're there so
(31:39):
that it's you know, it's it's not a separate procedure
because it's a serious surgery. Got to be sure you're done. Yeah, kids,
For a guy, it can be I guess reconnected. But
for us, it's a you know, out patient. Yeah, our
long walk out, sit on frozen peas for three days
and you know, but don't be like my body. My
(32:00):
buddy he got it and then they told him. I
guess there's still spermys that will live in there. So
they're like, hey, you got to like self love for
a while before you trust this. And then so he
did that, and then he's supposed to get it all
out and then you go and they test it and
to make sure that it's really not producing anything anymore
before you, you know, to pull the goalie. So he
(32:22):
goes back and he's still producing, and they're like, oh,
you got some left. Don't worry, no, big De'll come
back in thirty more days, but go home and you know,
yank it every day or whatever. So he does, comes
back thirty days later, he's still producing, comes back thirty
more days later. It turns out. I don't know, and
I've been told by eurologists this is nearly impossible. But
somehow he didn't work, and they did it again. Second
(32:44):
time they went in there and did it again again.
I've had many doctors tell me that's almost impossible. But
there's gotta be a reason why they make you go
in there and test to make sure that you're sterile.
But that would certainly eliminate that problem. Interesting any who
do you moan during sex? Fred, I'm not, I'm not.
(33:05):
It's tough for a guy to fake it not impossible,
but it's tough. I uh, I don't. I don't make
much noise. I don't. I feel kind of funny making noises.
I feel funny talking to you. Don't talk, I mean
I do, I do. It's more like complimentary of the partner.
But like I don't know. Oh so hot. No, that
(33:28):
sounds fatty. That sounds fatty. I always say nice rack
like I'm about to come. Let me call you an
ubern that's funny. If I come now, you could get
dressed down. You've got seven minutes shitty as you are today.
(34:00):
That was I'm about to come. Let me get hasn't
even happened yet. It would feel so much better if
I knew the uber was the mall will be here.
(34:23):
I'll tell you what, if you let me do this
one thing, I'll upgrade. I'm uncomfortable with the Oh you
wanted uber black well? You know, man, he got four
(34:44):
point nine four stars on his way owe you oh him,
he said it, And I'm laughing, rufio you and your ways.
I can't grab my phone right beforehand. Call this. That
(35:06):
is the joke of the day. Everyone. And on that note,
we say good night, good night. I'm going to bed now.
That was the laugh I needed. Thank you, Rufio, Thanks
for listening to the Chanson
She's saying, I should not get with my my friend,
my good friend who passed away many years ago. I
should not get with his widow, is what you're saying.
I say, do it. Okay, let's get into this right now.
In the Tangent. It's the Tangent we couldn't talk about
on air. All right, guys, welcome, it's our off air
(00:20):
uncensored podcast. And no, we haven't been that good about
doing these lately, mainly because the suits have had us
all tied up the last couple of weeks. You know,
the suits call these meetings and they make us you know,
they analyze everything. And then we got to really missed
last and then it was a holiday on Monday. So
we were doing we were doing well for a while
and then and then yeah, and then we got wrapped
up in the in the stuff. But here we are.
Now here, we are with the Tangent. And so we
(00:42):
mentioned the show today that I it's a it's a
not funny joke anymore. But just to Recabum, we all
knew a guy and I was very We're all were
close with him. I was very close with him, he
and his wife, his family's kids, everybody for like a decade.
And this guy was a good looking guy, a funny guy.
(01:04):
Everyone loved him. His wife is super hot and way
better looking than him, which speaks really to how hot
she is. And she's hot anyway. So I used to
joke with him about, dude, I hope I wind up
like you someday. Man, I hope I wind up marrying
somebody who's so much hotter than me that people say
this to me. You know that, people go, dude, how
(01:25):
did you do that? You know? Because whatever, And we
joke about it. I'm like, dude, anything ever happens to you,
I'm banging your wife. And we would laugh about it. It
It was funny, and he'd go, hot's fine, dude, you can't.
He never said no, never said no. We laughed about it,
we joked. Sadly he's no longer with us anymore. And yeah,
our ip. So now the question is, and this is
(01:45):
actually a conversation that has been had among our common peers,
not together, but individually. It's been like, why don't you
guys like, why don't you? Yeah? And I think her
objection is that it would affect our friendship. I don't
think her objection is that it's a bad idea. I
think her objection is that it could affect our friendship,
(02:06):
which it would be my objection, plus in my disrespecting
my deceased friend. But he's gone right like he's not
here anymore. So I don't know, you can't live like that.
I mean, I don't think that's a reason not to
do it. Because he's moved on. He's he's Gucci, you
know what I'm saying, Like he don't. I don't think
he's you know, I believe that people watch over us
(02:28):
when they pass away. I believe their spirits, you know,
I do believe in all that. I don't believe they
were policing us though, you know, I don't think my
grandparents died and they were so instrumental in my life.
Another look over me and are like, you know, constantly
either approving or disapproving of my decisions. I don't think
that's what's going on. I think they got plenty of
other things to do in heaven. They earned it not
to have to look over and go, you're really gonna
(02:49):
bang that girl? Really? You know, I don't think that's
what I don't think that's what's going on. Do you
do you think that people die and they do. You
think my friend has passed away, and you think he's
in heaven and he just sits there every day and
stares at his wife and what she's doing. No. I
think he's the type of person that everyone He would
want everyone to be happy. And if it's going to
be happy, you guys are together, and that's what's meant
to be, and you guys are gonna make a good
(03:09):
couple or whatever. Yeah, maybe I think he'd be down
for it. He'd rather be you than somebody else. You
know what I'm saying. Well, that's what's interesting. It's a
few people have pursued this individual and who he did
not like. Wow, and so if you know, at least
you've had the blessing, you know what I'm saying, Well, indirectly,
I don't think any of us trust me. I never
(03:30):
thought it was gonna happen. I wish it. I wish
it wouldn't um. But I think about it sometimes and
I feel guilty for I feel guilty now for having
joked about it, because I guess you never know. But
if nobody jokes about stuff like that and things, it's
ever gonna happen. I never if the guy were sick
and I had made those jokes, well that makes me
an asshole, But like we was fine, and who who
(03:50):
could ever know in a you know, a ten year
friendship at the end of you know, at the tenth
year or something, that someone's gonna pass away. I don't think,
you know, and highsights of course twenty twenty and never
would have made the joke. But I don't know. That
seems a little uncomfy for me. I'm kind of on
the fence. But then also I have this irrational fear
that my boyfriend is attracted to all of my friends
(04:11):
because they're way hotter than me. And like, if I
was dead and he started hooking up with my best
friend Abby or something, I'm gonna look down and be like,
I know you were attracted to her, you son of
a I would be so much. I don't think you're
looking you'd be looking down or looking up, probably up.
(04:35):
He just sent you to hell. That's where I'll be.
I'll be like your friend's wife, no going down. I
don't know. I don't know. I think our opinion, really
you really can't take our opinion because we know both parties,
you know, what I'm saying, we knew that person, don't
(04:56):
do it? Well, I think I think you're a and
it actually does matter because you knew both people, right,
and But either way, I don't I don't firmly believe
that this individual. If my reason for not doing that
is because I'm afraid of upsetting that person, I mean,
I don't think. I don't think it's any way to live.
(05:17):
Would you be able to handle everyone else's opinion if
you were to do it, you know what I'm saying,
Like you're in a circle of friends, and you know,
if it did happen, I don't think. I think anyone
who knows me personally and knows her, if we were
actually giving it a shot, like to be like more
than friends, I don't think anybody would say anything because
because you know, look, I talk a big game here,
(05:39):
and I talk a lot of shit. But like people
who know me personally and know how much I cared
about him and I care about her and I care
about my friends, I don't think they would think anything
of it. You know, right now we're talking about it salaciously.
Right now, we're joking about like the sexual aspect of it,
right But I don't think that people who outsiders might
hear the story and go, oh my god, what are
you doing? But I don't think people who know both
(05:59):
of us would think much of it. I think, especially
if it worked out, they might be like, well, that's cool,
but it would be a little weird. I have to
be honest, it'd be a little weird to share moments,
you know, intimate moments with somebody and you know that
your good friend had done the same thing. That would
be a little strange. But everybody's had those moments with
somebody else, and I think there are people who have
(06:20):
had those moments with people they know too. I mean,
have you has anyone in the room ever slept with
somebody who a friend has slept with? No? Never, never, never,
You've never hooked up with a guy who also hooked
up with a friend. Not necessarily dated, but like, I'm
loyal to a fault, like I even if you don't
ask for that amount of loyalty, it's just it's just
(06:42):
who I am. So I would not talk to, flirt
with touch anyone that any of my friends ever have
loved that, whether or not, I just it just makes
me a uncomfortable b I wouldn't want it done to me.
I have done it with me, I have done it.
It's happened to me more than I have done it.
But it's always been casual then I'm aware of now. Granted,
I don't know what my exes have done, but I'm
(07:04):
saying to you, like, in one case, a buddy of
mine hooked up with a girl like on a one
off deal, and then years later I did, and there
was no issue with it because nobody had any emotion.
There was no emotion involved, right. It also wasn't a
very well thought out thing. Now, it's happened to me
many times where guys I know hooke up with girls
after I did. That's up to them, but it doesn't
bother me because again, if I date you for a
(07:26):
while and then you wind up, and then one of
my friends winds up with you, I think that's screwed up.
But if we just hook up one time, I don't
own you, you don't own me. I can't decide what
happens next. But weren't they married? What your friend and
his ex wife? Please? Dad? So yes, still sketchy, Fred,
still sketchy, Like you know my ex best friend Page,
(07:49):
I still hate you. By the way, I hope you
listen to my stuff. I hate you. Wow, it started
dating my boyfriend at the time and sleeping with him
or whatever. Okay, that's way different. I think it's kind
of okay. It's a little similar because even if we
had were done, I don't have any feelings, like I
still don't want you to hook up with him, like
you were my friend. You were with us during that relationship.
Were you thinking about him when I was with him?
Like Christie, if my friend were still alive and they
(08:10):
got divorced, off limits, Yeah, died, he's gone. He's not
on the earth anymore. Like that's that's not in all
the same. It's completely different. Though. If I'm friends with
both people and then they get divorced and there's ill will,
I can't I cannot hook up with her, that is
not okay. It depends more on your view of the
afterlife and spirits and souls, Like I fully get signs
(08:32):
from people who have passed on all the time. Therefore,
I know that they're looking over me. I can feel
their presence. So it's I think it's more about what
your opinion of that is. And if you think he
would have approved or you know, I think that's what
it's more about. I think my opinion is similar to
yours in a lot of ways. I don't think it's
I think it's passive. Though I don't think it's active,
(08:53):
you know, I don't. Personally, I don't believe, like I said,
that people I care about are looking over me every
single move I make it, every decision I make. I mean,
So that's what I'm saying is I don't think. I
don't think he's watching over me, going at the in
the act, going what do you do? Oh? But I
think he would be aware, in my opinion, in my
view of what happens after you pass, he would definitely
(09:15):
be aware. So that's where I would have an issue. Also,
like loyalty for me just applies dead or alive, Like
they were my best friend. So I'm disloyal if I
sleep with her. I'm saying my own views, but I
hold myself to my own standard. I don't care what
anybody else does. So you believe it's disloyal if I
wouldn't do it, Let's say that I wouldn't. I'm just asking.
(09:38):
I never judge you for doing it. I just I
hold myself to my own rule book. I don't hold
anyone else to that. I just do what I believe
is right and wrong, and I would never judge you.
If you did that, well, I'm not worried about your judgment.
I was just asking you to elaborate on your opinion.
Would I do that? No, I would not. However, if
you do that and you guys are in love, I
would be happy for you. I guess you just have
to really love her and date her like. It has
(10:00):
to be a serious thing. It can't be a casual banging.
Then yeah, well I don't know about that. I mean,
we'll look. I don't know about that. You won't know
until it happens. You know. Here's the other thing is
we're not we're not giving this other person any equity
in this decision either. I mean, like she can have
her own reasons for this too. You know what I mean?
This is now. This is first of all, it's not
up to me entirely. And second of all, whatever terms
she's comfortable with are the terms. You know. It's you're
(10:23):
saying to me, I have to be a love and dater.
I don't. Maybe maybe she maybe she wants the companionship.
Maybe she wants that physicality, that intimacy, she's not getting
it from anybody else. Maybe that to her is it's
valuable to have that from someone she trusts, versus going
out and dating a bunch of randoms. You know, maybe
maybe to her that's important and it doesn't have to
We don't have to fall in love and get married.
(10:45):
There's two parties. So she holds herself as a as
a wife or a widow to her own standards, and
you hold yourself as a friend to those. And then
you guys have to decide. But you've been around her
a million times. I think we would have already known
if you were in love with her or if you're
going to be in love with her. But again, I
don't think that's the standard. I don't think it has
to be that. That's up to me and that's up
to her. Um. You know, you guys are saying you'd
(11:07):
have to be in You said, Christy, you'd have to
be in love to do it. I don't. I don't
think so. I think that's whatever we decide, and she
gets a voted in that too, absolutely, But I think
you would already know. I mean so so are you
saying that you are attracted to her? Oh, I'm absolutely
attracted to her. But yeah, the standard, I don't think
the standard has to be love. I don't think the
standard has anything to do with loyalty either for me
(11:29):
for me, right, Okay, she's probably emotional, right, Like I mean,
even if she were to sleep with you, I'm sure
there'd be some connection with her. You can't just like
date her like you would. You know, you don't have
the best you're a single man who likes to hook
up with you. I would certainly hold that I would
certainly hold that approach at a higher standard without a question.
I think her friendship to you is more valuable too
(11:51):
than just a one off hook up. I mean, in
my opinion, I don't know from what I've seen, you
guys have a really great friendship and a lot of
history and to get or you can share memories of
this person that you both loved. So I don't know
that I would recommend a one off hook up. But well,
and that's where it's remained for years. And this is
all hypothetical, right, you know, we're obviously just throwing this
(12:11):
out there for something to talk about, because it came
up on the show. But I you know, I don't.
You're two adults. I've struggled with this idea in my head,
first that I said that thing while he was alive,
and second, like, well, now what could I do with that?
And you know, if it's me or some guy he
didn't like, or some random or something, I don't like
that either, right, I don't know. But she been has
(12:34):
she dated anyone or seen anyone? No? No, no, no, no
no no. I think it's whatever you're comfortable obviously in
her you're comfortable with doing and how you what you
feel is right and wrong. And really that's all we
can care about is what we think is the right
move for us, you know, right right? But no, I
don't think we would judge you if that happened, or
judge well, I wouldn't. I wouldn't be worried about yeah,
(12:55):
outside judgment. I you know, I don't. That's that's a
decision that, like I said, I mean, we keep talking
about what I would do and what happens to me.
I mean there's there are two people here. Oh yeah,
I mean we don't have her to ask her. But
I mean I think if you guys, but she's a
part of the decision. Absolutely, so absolutely I would hope.
So yeah, I say, no, that relationship, it's gonna end
(13:18):
real quick. I don't know. I mean, again, this is
all hypothetical. Maybe this is just what she needs to
get back out there. You know, maybe we have a
thing and we have fun and she realizes I can
feel some kind of way and I can get back
on the horse and whatever, and then you know, maybe
we're not to Because Sarufio's point, you don't I don't
know what the future holds. So if it doesn't work out,
maybe it's maybe you know, oh, you know what, I
(13:41):
can do this, and then you know, she meets somebody
else and falls in love and again, But can you
do that? Fred? Can you be that person that knows
that this is just a hook up thing and if
you really attracted to her and be like, oh, she's
gonna move on to somebody else. And I think there
are other limitations here that would prevent it from probably
being a forever thing. I mean she, in fairness, she's
a lot older than I am. In fairness, she's at
(14:02):
a whole different stage in her life. I mean, she
has kids that are my age, you know what I'm saying.
So I'm not saying to you that it would not
be meaningless. I'm not saying to you that it's just
a bang. But I'm also saying to you the likelihood
of us getting married it's pretty slam probably not going
to happen. You just have to weigh out, you know,
the cost and reward of that situation, and do whatever
you guys both decide. You know, um, moving along hypothetically, No,
(14:27):
trust me, this is all. If this were anything more
than I have apothetical, I mean it's been years, right,
so like it would have, it would have happened. I think,
if if there were anything more than just something I
think about. But you know, I overthink everything, so I
sit around and think about things like this all day
and then nothing happens, and then I get upset about
them sometimes and I you know, we just rev myself
up over things that didn't even happen yet at all.
(14:48):
Wild life, that is wild. You don't do that with anxiety.
You don't. You don't sit and think about things and
feel a certain kind of way. Yeah. Um, no, I've
done so much, and I'm not saying you haven't. But
for me, personally. I've done so much work on coping
mechanisms and things that I have been doing to drive
myself crazy and how to actively stop those thoughts that
(15:08):
I try my best not to. I really try hard.
My anxiety is more like are bad things going to
happen to people I love? And that is what I'm
always afraid of. Yeah, I mean I don't sit around
and spin out all day, but I think about I
spend time thinking about things. Um, whether it's a purchase,
whether it's a decision, whether it's something I want to pursue.
(15:30):
I really think about it. Um. I don't know that
that's necessarily fed to anxiety as much as it is
just I that's just the way my brain works. I'm
very very tight bay, you know. But I also I
can find myself thinking things out to a level where
I start to feel a certain kind of way about
an event that has not taken place. Um. So researchers
(15:51):
have found and came on send me this reach, you know.
I love that word that in participating. I don't like researchers.
I don't participating. I can say participating one off, but
if it's part of a sentence, doesn't come out right. Ever, really,
I don't know why is there a word like that
for you? Participating locations are there are some participating locations.
(16:14):
I don't know why it got weird. It got weird,
there are some participating it gets weird as part of
a sentence, I can't say it. I don't know why. No.
Where is? Where is? What is the state of my birth?
I was born there? Where is it? I was born
in Massachusetts. It's a beautiful, beautiful place this time of year.
(16:40):
Researchers found that many women make noise while in bed
this is a sexual conversation, not surprisingly, but not necessarily
while they were having an orgasm six but so okay,
but not necessarily faking it sixty six percent, so that
they moaned to speed up the climax, which is faking
it eighty seven percent, and said that they vocalized during
(17:01):
sex to boost self esteem. Okay, so it's all faking it, right,
So like the why do women moan during sex? And
a lot of women are not moaning because they can't
control how good it feels, and they're making a noise.
There's a lot of like other reason interesting I know
for a fact, I mean that women will say something
really really hot, or or make a certain kind of
noise to do that. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know
(17:24):
you do it, but other other women do it too.
Um yeah, or it's like okay, it's for this to
be It usually happens not long after they come, which
is so now that you've come, it's like, okay, we
can be done now, and that's when usually it's yeah,
louder tire for the lights turned on in the club.
(17:59):
Either follow me when the Eric Pride comes back? Time
to go trafis yeah, exactly this pussy tire? Damn. So
what are you, Paulina? What's your what is your go
(18:19):
to phrase to get it wrapped up? Let's hear it?
I mean you just you just told us about your Hey,
you're lying. You say you're lazy in bed, so you're
lying there. I got better, right, like I got better.
I haven't been watching lately. I haven't seen any game
footage in a while. Yeah, you guys know, in the
(18:41):
last three months, you've apparently gotten significantly better. I don't know,
if anything, Pauline, I would expect you to be the
same level of laziness after three or four months, because
if you got if it got you this far, then
why change? I got a railment a little bit. You know,
someone's doing the railing. Yeah, that's true. Though I'm lazy,
(19:03):
but I have my moments where I'm not lazy. Okay,
I enjoy a few things here and there. And by
the way, you made a revelation today on the air
that is contradictory to what you've constantly said to us
off the air, which is the no condom club. You know,
I know you're in a relationship now three or four
months from what we understand. This is all stuff you've
shared on the air. Correct, So I'm not I don't.
I don't think I'm speaking out of turn. At any
(19:24):
point you can tell me to stop. But the birth
control method, you know, we were concerned about you getting pregnant.
We don't want you to get pregnant, Paulina, you know,
we want you to take this all in stride. Thinks
you're moving so quickly. That would be another layer that
we're you know, maybe not all ready for meeting you.
I was gonna say, who's we I mean, are you
ready to have a kid right now? No? No, see
(19:45):
there you go. I'm not ready. The house new boyfriend house,
You're moving in together in four months. Yeah, it's a
lot going on. The kids thing, Like, listen, when are
we ever ready? Someone told me that once and I
was like, you're not wrong, Like who sits there? Okay?
But lands a lot of people, a lot a lot
of yeah that and I mean pauling a really often
(20:05):
it just kind of just happens. I'm not I'm not
playing that game. Yeah I would be. I'm telling you
I feel very strongly about this. I want you to
be really thoughtful about adding anything more to this equation.
I hope that. I hope that you guys are meant
to be and that it just everything that piles on
everything and you just figure it out and stride and
you're together for a hundred years. But statistically speaking, boyfriend
(20:26):
of three months, you bought a house, you're moving in together.
Add a kid, an unplanned kid to that, Yeah, that's
a lot of shits. I'm not planning a kid, thank you.
It doesn't sound like you're not planning one. Well. No,
I'm not on birth control. For my own reasons, I
won't go on it. But I do have a not
that it matters, but this is what I do. I
have a calendar, yeah right, apps right, and it does
(20:47):
tell me which days like whatever. We use condoms and
sometimes a little treat we don't use condoms. I'm not
saying it's safe. I'm not promoting that. But we just
have our own method and it's just worked. My therapist
use that method. She's just had a baby. Yeah, it
could happen. You know, it's the club getting you know,
it's not listen, I know it can still happen. Oh yeah,
(21:09):
I'm not pregnant. Yeah, I'm not naive, I know, but
we are one hundred percent like we don't finish where
it's supposed to be finished. I only I only bring
this up because because if you could contradict something you
already said publicly, which is, oh, I know, I use
I use protection all every single time we own condoms
like we have that you own them, well, that's good
as long as they're you know, as long as they're
(21:34):
in the room. Yeah, no, that's fine. It's like a
humidifier or something. Turn it on and it just changes
the condition to the whole room. We want them. It's
weird because the female body is a weird man when
it comes to your population and all of that. I
don't want to get to into it, but it's just
very interesting how they give you this time frame, like
for those women who actually want to get pregnant, right,
But then I read it could happen any other day
(21:55):
that you're not, So I'm like, what's technically like, Like,
technically speaking, I don't mean to teach you guys about
you because we've had this conversation before. I mean, it's
actually not easy to get pregnant. It's a pretty small
window technically speaking. Now, granted there are so many variables,
so many variables, but like it's amazing people who don't
like have sex one time and get pregnant. That's amazing
(22:17):
to me because the window is not that wide for
a high percentage chance at pregnancy, and so that always
kind of blows me away. But yet, you know people,
it happens people every day, right, That's what I'm saying.
I'm like, okay, but you guys who have a that
is a very complicated part. That whole system is very complicated.
To get an app just to complicated. And it's not
(22:38):
just the schedule of it. It's the hormones, it's the
emotions of it, it's it's the it's the juices, the
whole thing. Yeah, it's a part seems pretty easy. If
it's not hard, p comes out of it. If it's hard,
then jews comes out of it, and that's it. I
think that's come out of it. It's hard like morning wood,
(23:01):
you got morning but you're like half and half yeah,
half tub. It's built to not have pe come out
of it if you're fully erect and learned that in it.
I think my pe teacher taught us that in health class.
And then after then, after you're done with the sexy time,
you're supposed to pee because like everybody, everybody, all the bacteria,
everyone's supposed to be Yeah, yep yea and Paulina, you're
(23:24):
risking it though, that's scary. It is a risky game.
I'm aware. I'm not going to play like, oh no,
I had no idea yet. I know, I know, but
I just I get the birth control thing that that's
a tough one because you've been and I don't plan
on it, to be honest, I understand why. I mean,
I think it's an unfair expectation that I don't think
men necessarily and I fully don't, but I don't think
I think I know more than I did about what
(23:48):
the effect that can have on your mood and your
body and all of those things. The problem is, short
of condoms, there really isn't a method for me that's
as that's as fool proof, right, and I say as
full proof ninety eight ninety nine percent effective or whatever.
So so it would be hard for me to be
in a relationship where we were having sex and we're
(24:08):
together and we're like monogamous. It would be hard for
me to imagine a world where there's not some form
of semi permanent birth control in place. Right, because there's
a pill for me. Let's say there's a pill for
me that's equally effective, I'll take it. There isn't no there,
there is there. There's a birth control pill for men.
It was just as effective. But the only reason why
I didn't go mass production is because men reported feeling
(24:30):
emotional from it. Okay, well there is, it didn't. My
point is, I don't care if it. When it isn't,
it's not, you can't care it. Yeah, it doesn't exist.
If it does exist, you can't buy it. So my
point is I don't have as many options, So that
would be a tricky part of a relationship, I think
for me, but I also understand it and I would
never force someone to take the pill or anything like that.
(24:50):
I could force them, but you know what I'm saying,
I would never go and tell a woman, well, this
is how we have to do it, because I understand
that it has further reaching, um sort of in applications
for you then it does for us. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't want to speak on it too much because
I've never been on it, so like I don't know
the side effects, only what I've read and heard. But
if I want to, if you don't mind, I want
(25:11):
to say one thing. I feel like, if I want
a kid in two years, I feel like maybe now
is not the time. I could be wrong a sofa doctor.
Don't at me, but I'm just saying like, I want
a kid in two years, and I feel like, maybe
now is not the time to do that. You know what,
I understand. My sister was on birth control for She's
been open about this too sixteen seventeen years, and also
(25:32):
they were concerned about other difficulties she might have, and
she was pregnant in two weeks. I will say every
time I met the guy know every single time, and
this has been with multiple guy knows. I ask, are
you sure that birth control this pill is not going
to affect anything once I stopped taking it, and they
assure me a million hundred percent. So I know there's
a lot of rumors and stuff that it does, and
(25:54):
it does take some people, like a couple months to
get it out of their system, but it does not
make you infertile. And anyways, was it my sister expected
She thought, hey, you know, I'll go off the pill now,
and then you know that gives us in surprise. You know,
whatever happens, it happens. It happened immediately. Yeah, that happens
to some people. To other people, yeah, it takes three
(26:15):
six months, sometimes a year to get out of the
system fully. So I don't know. So I don't know
if that's the reason that's to do it. But what
do I know. I am not a doctor, I'm not
a woman. I do not know. I'm not man explanning.
I do not know. I just wanted to make that
clear because I think the doctors would want us to
say that, because totally that's what they are always saying,
is like it's not something that will affect you down
(26:37):
the line. Oh, I know, and I've thought of that
too and stuff, and I don't again, I'm not spreading
false news rumors or anything. And I'm glad that you
clarify that. I think I'm just so weird about me
that I'm like, knowing my luck, something will happen and
anyway won't it won't, I know, I know, I just
got to get that out of my head. So I've
been researching and looking into options, and truthfully, if I
could be honest to my boyfriend doesn't want me to
(26:59):
go on the pill. He thinks that it's there will
there will be some side effects in the future, and
I'm like, yeah, there are effects. I mean, it affects
you primarily, but yeah, I know. I know plenty of
guys who they say my wife, My wife and I
were cool, everything was cool. Then she went on the
pill and then quote unquote became a girl, you know,
in that the emotions became It does it can? I
will say it can lower your sex drive. A lot
(27:20):
of women have reported that, so I think that's an issue.
But I mean there's also I U d there's also
something you can put in your arm there's also a
number rings, so like, you have a lot of options
other than the pill that you have to take every day.
A lot of my friends can't remember to take a
pill that you've encountered that before. So I think you
know there's a lot of options. It's, well, that's the problem, right,
Like if I've been in relationships where okay, like we
(27:43):
are considerate and have a conversation and say like, okay,
we're gonna be monogamous, we're both good, this is going
to be the method, right, And in this case, it's
you're on the pill, that's the method, and it's decided together. Right.
It's not me going You're gonna take the fucking pill
so I can do what I want. It's that's the deal.
If you decide on that in a relationship, then you
(28:03):
have to I believe you got to be responsible and
take ownership of that part of it, right because at
that point we've decided this together hopefully, and there's nothing
else I can do. And so if you then if
you're not good about taking a pill, then don't agree
to that. I mean, it's it's that simple, right, Like,
if you don't take your pill every day, if you're
not compliant, then just say I don't like that method,
(28:24):
like we're gonna have to use condoms to do something else.
But that I hear this all the time. It's like, oh, yeah, sorry,
I'm pregnant. I've got to take the pill last week.
It's like, well then you okay, then you got to
tell me you're I'm pregnant. I forgot to take the pill.
As I know somebody who got pregnant, and the reason
that they claimed they were pregnant, it's because they weren't.
They were lazy about the pill for a short period
(28:47):
of time, or it conflicted with medication they were taking,
so be it. But then you got so then say
that right, So then I think, like again, if we're
deciding this together, if I'm just being a jackass guy
and I'm not don't care, I'm not paying attention, then
I deserve it. But like, if you make a joint
decision in a relationship, here's our method, then you know,
if if it's compromised, then don't you say like, hey,
(29:10):
this is not a good time to Yeah, yeah, you know,
I just had Actually this is so interesting that you
say you've had this discussion. Me and golf guy literally
talked about it this weekend. My iod has to come
out this year, and I was like, I think I'm
going to switch to a different form, but if I
take the pill, it's kind of risky because I forget
things all the time. And so we had like a
full length discussion about what I should do because I
(29:31):
really don't know what I'm going to do now because
the iod. He doesn't like it because it you can,
you know, you can feel it something I don't, and
so I was going to take it out and get
something else, but I don't know what the hell to
do with my body. It's so responsible. I was just asking, like,
what should I do? I don't know, and it's totally
up to you. Yeah, of course, and he's too. Yeah
he might get a vote, but it's totally up to
you and whatever you decide together. But then if you know,
(29:53):
if it's condoms, fine, it's condoms, then we're both responsible
for that. Again, if if there were a pill for men,
and you're like, you know, Fred, you're taking the pill
for men, then I have If that's the method, then
I have to be good about it. I have to
be responsible about it. I feel like, you know, I've
been in more than one situation where it's like that's
our method, and then it's like, but you're not. Oh
you haven't taken it, Like what are you doing? Like
(30:14):
sometimes you just forget and I'm like a forgetful person,
So I can't do the pill. It would just I
think a day. I mean we're talking like days, weeks.
I mean, you know you can't because at a time
to try to counteract, like because this affects you primarily, right,
but it also that decision affects me. And if we
were responsible about the decision, then I don't know. I
(30:34):
guess at that point either, what was the point of
the conversation. I guess if I get like the shot
it makes me really emotional. I've tried that before. I
get like, my hormones are just off the charts. The
pill I forget, and the IUD has a lot of
side effects. I'm like, none of these are great, none
of you have to put that in yourself. You're not
into that, it's terrifying. Yeah, well you go up there
(30:56):
for other things, don't you me? No, really go there. Well,
you're a you're in a long distance relationship, so that's
your that's your birth control right there. Thanks, thanks for
reminding me. That's just part of my life. I may
go get a sect to me, am, I get a secto.
Can I do that too? Yes, you can. It's a
(31:18):
lot it's a whole lot more intrusive for you. I
actually thought of that. But if I do it, it's
a lot easier for men. Right, and I want kids.
They have to untie, No, you can't do you know,
I'm not going to do it. That's it's a pretty
invasive surgery for five minutes and then I like and
I've heard of people doing it, but you know what
I hear more from my my married friends is after
they have like their second kid or whatever, if it's
a C section, they do it while they're there so
(31:39):
that it's you know, it's it's not a separate procedure
because it's a serious surgery. Got to be sure you're done. Yeah, kids,
For a guy, it can be I guess reconnected. But
for us, it's a you know, out patient. Yeah, our
long walk out, sit on frozen peas for three days
and you know, but don't be like my body. My
(32:00):
buddy he got it and then they told him. I
guess there's still spermys that will live in there. So
they're like, hey, you got to like self love for
a while before you trust this. And then so he
did that, and then he's supposed to get it all
out and then you go and they test it and
to make sure that it's really not producing anything anymore
before you, you know, to pull the goalie. So he
(32:22):
goes back and he's still producing, and they're like, oh,
you got some left. Don't worry, no, big De'll come
back in thirty more days, but go home and you know,
yank it every day or whatever. So he does, comes
back thirty days later, he's still producing, comes back thirty
more days later. It turns out. I don't know, and
I've been told by eurologists this is nearly impossible. But
somehow he didn't work, and they did it again. Second
(32:44):
time they went in there and did it again again.
I've had many doctors tell me that's almost impossible. But
there's gotta be a reason why they make you go
in there and test to make sure that you're sterile.
But that would certainly eliminate that problem. Interesting any who
do you moan during sex? Fred, I'm not, I'm not.
(33:05):
It's tough for a guy to fake it not impossible,
but it's tough. I uh, I don't. I don't make
much noise. I don't. I feel kind of funny making noises.
I feel funny talking to you. Don't talk, I mean
I do, I do. It's more like complimentary of the partner.
But like I don't know. Oh so hot. No, that
(33:28):
sounds fatty. That sounds fatty. I always say nice rack
like I'm about to come. Let me call you an
ubern that's funny. If I come now, you could get
dressed down. You've got seven minutes shitty as you are today.
(34:00):
That was I'm about to come. Let me get hasn't
even happened yet. It would feel so much better if
I knew the uber was the mall will be here.
(34:23):
I'll tell you what, if you let me do this
one thing, I'll upgrade. I'm uncomfortable with the Oh you
wanted uber black well? You know, man, he got four
(34:44):
point nine four stars on his way owe you oh him,
he said it, And I'm laughing, rufio you and your ways.
I can't grab my phone right beforehand. Call this. That
(35:06):
is the joke of the day. Everyone. And on that note,
we say good night, good night. I'm going to bed now.
That was the laugh I needed. Thank you, Rufio, Thanks
for listening to the Chanson
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