August 21, 2023 • 29 mins
This is a true Tangent episode because we are all over the place talking about everything.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You should have heard the brainstorming process, just moments to go.
In fact, you know what, we'll do it. We'll do
it right now. Welcome to the Tangent. Let's go. It's
the Tangent with the bread show giving me all the
we couldn't talk about on air. Okay, So we wrapped
up the show and we're like, we're doing a tangent today.
All right, good? So are what are our options? And
(00:20):
we had a few. What did we come up with
the various things that we rejected? Though? What did we reject? Well?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I was telling you how I was watching Real Housewives
of New York and one of the girls they were
playing two truth in a Lie and she stuck a
popsicle in her punani during sex as like a sexual thing.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
And I just have not gotten that out of my.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Head because like your pH like I hope it was
like all natural.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
And then Jason said that he uses his key to
it's his ear, which had nothing to do with that.
And then he was like, well, we could do a
topic about what do you stick in your bodily orifices? Well,
I think most people would have the same answer, So
I don't know how Okay, that would that would let
me be a two minute long tangent.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
So what are you stick in your holes?
Speaker 1 (01:07):
You nothing? I keep I try and keep things out
of my body holes.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Oh you do, that's so fun?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah, don't. Typically, I'm more of an exit. Let's get
things out of there then then put things in there.
I'm just afraid something might get stuck. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, it's not like hold stuff around in your vagins,
Like could you like transport stuff?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I mean I've seen it done on h on locked
up abroad where that you transport drugs in the in
the huha or like in the Customs show about Customs,
Immigration's Border, the Border show, they're always finding stuff in
people's assholes.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
In there, Like I don't you know.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
If you couldn't bring a bag into like a concert venue,
could you?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Now I a bottle of I have.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Had a friend who puts some drugs before they were
mainly gall in her vagene to get all yeah, and
then we all partook.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I don't know. It's kind of crazy to think about.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Now.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
In jail, don't they make you like squat for that reason?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
The squat like take a little look in there and yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, why do you think it is if you can
fit some up in there, well, it stretches like think
about giving birth, but when it's resting your own drinks.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah, they did make a tampon flask. I think that.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I don't think that's to put in there. I think
that's to put in your purse.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
So it looks like then I did it wrong.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I think it was to make it look like that. Oh,
like so if we look in your bag, I'm like, Okay,
do you guys ever worry about that? Do you ever
think about that? Like when you go to a sporting
event or something and you have to have the clear purse,
and like if you have if you have those kind
of items in your purse, like, do you ever care
like that everyone's going to see it?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
No, not any I think when I was younger, I
probably got like embarrassed by not anymore. I'm so fucking
sick of those like clear bags or small bags. Like
I understand it's for our safety, but like Jesus, every
venue has a different size bag that you can bring
in a different rule, Like in Detroit you can only
have clear not even It's just like what's going on? Yeah,
(03:19):
no bagson, stuff in my bra Then I guess.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
You have to like check, but you go on the
website ahead of time to figure out what you're allowed
to bring and what you're not.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, And my fucking friend Tatiana was going out with
Jason and I and kept arguing about me about her
Chanel purse, telling me that it's fine, And I was like, Tatiana,
if they tell you that you have to put your
bag away, I am not leaving with you.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
I'm not walking a half an hour back to the car.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So then when we get to the venue, she didn't
bring a purse and she saw the line wrapped around
the corner of the ladies who had to use the locker,
And I said, aren't you glad that I thought you
on this?
Speaker 3 (03:53):
It's very upsetting.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I'm reading this story about this is what it says.
This is from the Daily Star in the UK. Here's
the headline. Bloke had to have penis padlock removed after
girlfriends split. She was the only one with a key.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
What So a guy had a penis padlock and it
doesn't show it. I don't think it shows it, but apparently,
and I don't really know exactly how it worked, but
she was the only one. Oh, there it is. She
was It's like, that looks like a normal pad there,
but that was that's just like a normal padlock. Though
how it how it worked? I don't know. That's the padlock.
(04:32):
It was slump, that's a regular right right right? But
so it said, uh is that he wore it from
time to time and then his girlfriend kept a hold
of the key. The unnamed man has spent the last
three months trying to remove it after breaking up with
his lover. By the time he eventually retrieved the key
from his ex, the lock had rusted shut. As a result,
(04:54):
he had to go to a tattoom piercing specialist to
remove it.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Oh wait, wait, wait, so it went through some.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Sort of hole.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out it. Did
it actually prevent him from uh from from doing stuff? Like?
Was the padlock there to prevent him from doing things
when she wasn't around? Or was it more like figurative
like it was a piercing but a padlock.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Instead I just jumped up inside his body.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
But think like that, it wouldn't have prevented it from working.
But if you had, like you know, how you can
have like a dick piercing had an Albert. If you
had like a padlock in there, you can't you wouldn't
be able to stick it anywhere because it would be
too massive. So that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I would like to keep my man's shit locked up.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Do you really want to be in a relationship that
with a guy who you think is going to stick
it somewhere?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
I just think it's hot.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I don't know really, Yeah, I mean I obviously, like
I'm not going to pierce someone's wiener, but.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I want to keep it locked up.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Oh my god. Anyway they were able to somehow open
it and get it out. Everything's okay now.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
But I do you think, go look, I'm so hot?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
NOI cure No, it looks like a padlock like that
would be on any kind of.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Like a lot bike. Yeah. No, that's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Have you ever seen anything really odd? Like have you
ever seen have you ever dated a guy or seen
a guy with a dick piercing or like a dick
tattoo or piercing.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Yeah, that's about it. Yeah, have you seen a piercing me? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Not in real life?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Okay, one, so maybe there's a chance.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
No, like I told you guys, I dated the one
girl that didn't and then did have the basically a
vagina tattoo. It wasn't on like the lip part, but
it was on the above part, the kind of foldy
part on the top, you know, you know the part
where it kind of starts, you know what I'm talking about,
like where the slip kind of starts. It was across
that it would normally it would be covered with hair
(06:49):
if there were hair there, but there there wasn't, and
it was it was a tattoo of a bow. And
because apparently the guy who she dated between me and me,
uh did to appreciate that as much as she would
have liked. And so uh everyone from that point forward
would know what a gift it was that they were receiving.
(07:09):
Which I'll be honest with you now, every time I
look at that, if i'm her husband, because she's married now,
every time I look at that, I just think how
scorned she was by another dude.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
He didn't like her vagina.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
No, I think it was like I think he I
don't know, I don't know what happened done she scorned.
He scorned her such that she felt as though she
needed to. I don't know do that.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I always heard that rumor that if you get your
Johinny peers that like you could like orgasm going up
the stairs and stuff, which always sounded fun.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
But no, no piercing here, and I've never seen one
in real life. I've never seen a Johnny piercing in
real life.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Anybody hereaturists. It's on the.
Speaker 6 (07:52):
Want.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
I want. I'm on the floor. So how am I gonna?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Like? You get your sun up, girl, you can go
fishing with it, though you can just.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
With a friend to get them. I mean, it sounds
so painful, I know, but I know.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
What that stuff does, like a like a hoodlatoral hood piercing.
Get out of here, out of town? What are we doing?
Speaker 5 (08:16):
You know? But then it's supposed to be more fun later.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I don't know. It seems masochistic. I don't know, of
your dick, Like a piercing through the head.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
That's discussed, Like what how would I sit there for that? Yea,
I know, but I don't understand how.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Yeah, I don't know. Run oh my God is one
thing and a piercing is another thing. But like you know,
some of the piercings are it's a little much. How
do the piercings work that don't have an end? Like
the piercing, like the people who get like their forehead
piers Like.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
How does it work the dermals?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
How does it work that there's like not a that's
a great question doesn't come out, you know what I mean?
Like because normally a piercing has like the back to it.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
It's inside that's on the other side of your skin.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
How did you get there?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Though? How does it stay in? Though?
Speaker 5 (09:02):
I think they put that party in first and then
they screw it in.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
It's like a face Oh my god. Yeah, and you
can just have that done by a tad a piercing specialist.
I think you know that sounds like a surgery. You're
not going to Claires though, some high school kids in.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
Drill.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Oh my, I'll never forget.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
When I was little, I was that Claires and watch
someone get their ears pierced, and I saw they use
the gun.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
I saw the chunk of skin fly into the clothing
and I.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Was like, oh my god, no, no, I mean no,
shade the claies.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
But like I know, no.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
No, no, no, no, no no no no no no
no no no.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, have you guys had any piercing or tattoo calamities?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Like, never been pierced?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Never?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Never?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Where would I?
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I can see you with a hoop like m J.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, and a foe mock turtleneck like m J two. Yeah,
a piercing a mock turtle neck. I love the game
basketball like a kind of weird mustache. And yeah, would
you ever get a piercing?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
No, no, not your style, Albert.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Not again? No, closed up. Yeah, I took it out.
I've contemplated you remember this.
Speaker 6 (10:17):
Oh yeah, no, I still I was talking really big
that weekend.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
No, my sister let me down. It was supposed to be.
It was supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
She's not getting it.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
I'm not getting it.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
That was a point.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
The point was the four of us would have a
tattoo and and and so when she backed out, it
was like, well, then what do I need one for
if we're not all doing it? Then I did it.
They had one previously, though, like she they got it
the year before. No they do no, no, no, no,
you're right they did do it my cousin, right, yeah,
but then I think she went back and had something
(10:49):
added to it. But she had my dad's initials.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
She forgot that small thing.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
But I didn't want it, right, I didn't. I didn't
really want a tattoo. I thought we were doing it
as it like a group in solidarity, right, and then
when we didn't do it then so I didn't need it.
I didn't want it anyway. So I was like, all right, fine,
But now I've thought about it, I just don't know. What.
Would you get my grandfather's signature somewhere? Probably that's nice, No,
(11:17):
but I don't. I don't. I just think I would
would bother me, like I think. I think as much
as I would love that, I also think I would
like scratch at it or or like it would I
would feel like it was because you know, like we
all know the places on our bodies that are abnormal,
like if you've got a weird shape this or like that,
(11:38):
or if in those areas I tend to like look
at a lot or be aware that they're there. I
feel like a tattoo would be the same way. It
would look like it wasn't supposed to. I don't know.
I'm a little OCDS. I think it would throw me off. Yeah,
and and so you know, so then the gesture wouldn't
really be worth it if it bothered me, but maybe
I think they look cool. I love hearing about other
people's tattoos. I always ask people about the ink they
(12:01):
have and what it means. It's interesting, though. Every now
and again I'll ask somebody about their their ink and
they get kind of shy about it, like they I've
had a few people like they don't really want to
get into it, and I'm like, well, it's all over
your body, like this is it's not concealed, so I
guess it's kind of weird. Like a couple of times
it's been like, well what's that and they're like they
don't really want to talk about it. I'm like, well
(12:22):
you got you got like a you've got art on
your body that's visible to me as a person who
doesn't know you. I guess anyone has the right to
have a private meaning for it. But I guess if
I were someone who had a tattoo and I didn't
want to tell people the real story, I would come
up with a fake one.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
It's like when you have a crazy looking dog and
you get mad when people stop you, you know what
I mean, like either super big or like you know,
one of those dogs that are.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Just like whoa.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Then you're like, oh, it's like you have a fucking
huge ass dog.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Yeah, my guy friend got my other guy friend's face
tattooed on his ass because he lost a bet and it.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Has a really bad tattoo that was done by his buddy,
just one afternoon, like a jail. Basically. Yeah, guy never
tattooed before. He just let his buddy tattoo him.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
How do you how do you do like a d
I why do.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
You know the whole story? I'd have to you'd have
to ask Colin. But he wants to cover it up.
I think, uh, he wants actually wants a tattoo of Adler,
their cat there. He wants a tattoo of their maingon.
He sure he can't. He's married, he's you know, he'll
be there as long as my sister will let him,
which hopefully is for life. But God, bless that guy.
(13:30):
You know, to think that several years ago I wouldn't
sure about him, and now I think he's a fucking saint.
He's an angel, Yeah he is. The Frederick women are incredible,
but not easy. That's why for the for all the
people who say like, you couldn't be married, or why
aren't you married? Or you're there so you're that. Not
to go back to that topic earlier, but like, my
(13:52):
mom and my sister are wonderful, amazing people, but they
are powerful women and they get their way and it
requires a little bit of maneuvering. So if you think
I don't know what it's like to be around a
powerful woman like I, I it's been my whole life
and now I got three of them. Oh yeah, because
Polly is no joke.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
She'll be running.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
She's already running my shit. She knows exactly what it's innate.
It is innate. When I was there a couple of
weekends ago, she's very expressive and she's negotiating with me.
I don't know what the hell she's saying because they're
not real words yet, but she's straight up negotiating with me,
and I'm just like, I don't know what you're saying,
(14:35):
but I know you're trying to fuck with me, Like
I know you're trying to get me to do something
right now I don't want to do. And that is innate.
That is it you were born with that.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Yeah. I also think like I don't know, Keiki if
you feel this way of Paulina, But like, I was
raised primarily by my mom and my nana, who are
two of those strongest women ever, And sometimes.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
I have to like soften myself a little bit in
like a dating.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Setting because I was just brought up like very not
like aggressively, but you know what I mean, like very
strong in that drilled into me, so like part of
it I probably was born with them, but part of
it is my mom and grandma, and I have to
check myself a little bit.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Oh yes, I tell everybody I was raised by no
limits soldier. Her name is Helena. And when I got
with it wasn't until I got a big tim where
I had to like check that because he was like,
wait a minute, He's like, hold on, I'm the man here,
let me let me you know. But when you're when
you date men who are not or don't have those
leadership qualities to your point, friend, like you, you obviously
can handle it because you raised you were raised by
(15:27):
women who are very straightforward and firm and like leaders.
But for men who don't have that quality, it's very
tough to be in a relationship with them because they
don't understand why you're so like, why you are the
way you are well.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
And that's the thing is if you're on the like again,
I'm not dissing my mom or my sister. Uh. These
you know, they're powerful, amazing women, but like you also
learned to stand up for yourself and say no sometimes.
And there are women that aren't used to hearing no
from men and they don't like it at all. That's true,
Like there are people that just can't handle it. And
I'm sure the same is true for men. And I
(16:00):
can't speak to that, but like, I've dated women where
I'm like, I'm I'm not doing that, and it's like what,
I've never had a man tell me that they wouldn't
do everything I say. And it's like, no, because because
I guess I learned to choose my battles, you know
what I mean. I mean, I was raised by people
that not that would take advantage of you know, that's
not that, but it's kind of like, you know what I.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Mean, You had to find your voice or else you're
gonna get run over.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, I've dated people that have listened to everything I
say and I end up being not attracted to them
and just walking all over them, like without even thinking
about it, and my mom is like, you gotta chill, Like,
but it's just not something that I think about. So
I need someone who's like, uh huh, like no, no, well,
on a second, we need to figure this out because
we're not gonna be doing that all the time.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Well. The other funny thing about being raised by and
being around powerful women as a man is I think
that there's as a single guy, I get the whole Well,
you don't you know, I don't know. You're kind of
like the prince complex, Like I don't know, Like like
the women in your life are proud of you're the
only son, so they tell you that you're right all
the time. My mom will me on my ship faster
(17:01):
than anybody else. Good, No, I know, I know that.
But then I think sometimes when you're the only son,
especially when you're not married and whatever else, you get
this reputation of like, well, you're being mommied or or
you know, I don't know, and it's like, no, I mean,
I am my mom, does mom me? She's my mom?
But like at the same time she thinks I'm fucking up.
(17:22):
Then the phone rings and she's like, hey, asshole, like
you can't treat somebody like that, or don't do that,
or I don't like this, or why'd you say that?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
You know, respect?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
And the truth is, I think if I married or
dated the right woman who my mom agreed was, you know,
if my mom rode for somebody, she would win all ties.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Yeah, yeah, not me, the woman.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
My mom would write. My mom would like nothing more
than for me to date someone seriously or marry someone
who she rides for. And if if that happens, I'm
fucked because then I've got Polly, Mom, Amanda, and my
girlfriend wife, I'll never ever win an argument ever.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
You guys do it right though, like you and your
mom like she does check you.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
But I have dated Mama's boys who like don't get checked,
and it's a nightmare.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Yes, it's an absolute fucking nightmare.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Like well, the good news about getting checked by someone
that you love in your you know, like in your
family or whatever in this case family, is that then
when she gives me positive praise or when she takes
my side, I know she means it, yeah, you know,
as opposed to like if I call my mom she
you know, we all have people in our lives. Who
who when we want them, when we want to feel
like we're right and we don't want to be challenged,
(18:32):
we know who to call.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Ye Yes.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
For a lot of people, that's their parents, or their siblings,
or their best friend or whatever, or a friend. In
my case, though, I'm not always going to get the
answer that Especially my sister's that way too. I'm not.
She's not always going to tell me what I want
to hear, which is good.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
That is good. You need those people in your life.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
For sure, because the worst thing is when people and
I've dated people, we've all probably dated people like this
who only surround themselves with the people who are going
to tell them what they want to hear. Yeah, And
you know, I've know with this a few times in
relationships where it's like, well, my friend says that what
you said was fucked up, and I'm like, well, I
told my girls about our fight and they said and
I'm like, guess what. I don't give a fuck because like,
(19:12):
first of all, I'm not fucking them right, so unless
unless you want me to start fucking them, because then
at least I get the benefit of the poona he
started right like at least I'm getting laid more. You know,
for people they're yelling at me, shit talking to me.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I don't know why people would want to do that,
because for me, like my friends are so important to me,
and like when I'm dating someone that's so important and
I want them to have like a good relationship. So
I would never want to muddy those waters, and like,
who the fuck cares what your friends?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Well, I'm sorry, but most people don't really tell the
story the way it happened. Most people I know do
not actually tell their friends here's what he said, and
here's what I said, and here's why it started. And
sometimes it will be my fault, but sometimes it was
your fault. But a lot of people will only tell
their friends the part where they felt like they got
(20:04):
shpit on and not maybe what led to it. And
so of course your friends are gonna be like what
a dick or you know, in my case, if a
friend calls me and goes, my wife did this, I'll
be like, what a bitch. But what he didn't tell
me was the part where he called her. You know
what I'm saying, Like, he didn't tell me why it
started or that he started it. So of course I'm
going to give the feedback, well, that's fucked up. But
(20:26):
the problem is if you don't tell your friends the
whole story, and I truly believe that most people don't,
then you're not going to get unbiased information. And the
other problem is when you only tell the part of
the story where the other person was a fuck then
when you make up because you did have culpability, now
you go hang out with that person again, or you
go back and tell them we made up. Now there's
judgment because it's like, well, how could you make up
(20:48):
with a person who treated you that way? Well, you
didn't tell the whole story. You didn't tell the part
of the story where we motherfucked each other.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Right, I don't get three sides to every story.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Right, exactly exactly. Yeah, that's where that's where the whole
friend group because I can't expect the people won't confide
in their friends. But like, my friends don't call me
and tell me that their wives are fucking horrible people
because I hang out with their wives too, and you don't,
and you don't want to have to back out of that,
you know what I mean? Like my friends don't. Of course,
my friends get frustrated, And I'm sure their wives get frustrated,
(21:21):
but they don't call me and go. They'll never get
so that bitch did again, because then I gotta sit
across the table from her, and everybody's uncomfortable.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Yeah, yep, but it can sometimes when your friends call
you with that. I'm the friend that listens.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
I won't say too much about your spouse because once
you finish vincing to me, then you and your spouse
will be having makeup sex in thirty minutes, right, So
I like, I'm not gonna unleash on your spouse because
then you're gonna start acting weird because now I've told
you how I really feel about this bitch, but really
I don't feel you know what I'm saying, Like, you'll
never know that I feel that way because they're gonna
make up.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
But it's still hard even if you don't say it
out loud. It's still hard when when you know what
you think you know and then you hang around these
people again. Yeah, and a lot of times, you know,
like you really advocate for someone that you love to
leave a relationship because you only know what you've been
told and you hope that that's really what it is.
But the problem is they never leave, and then it's
(22:13):
like you become almost what's the word I'm looking for,
Oh God, resentful in some ways, like you keep calling
me and telling me these stories about how horrible this
person is, you don't leave them. Is there more to
the story? You know? And it's like I don't know.
And I'm always gonna be there for my friends. I'm
always gonna listen, but at the same time, there comes
(22:34):
a point where I can no longer help you.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
No, I agree with that, but I feel too like
there's some people that I'll listen to their stories and
like I want more. I'll be like, oh, like next
week or you know, when he doesn't come home again
from the bar, like I want to hear about it.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
So that's why I do kind of try to act neutral.
Speaker 6 (22:49):
And I will never tell a friend to leave, a fiance, husband, boyfriend, whatever,
because that never goes well.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Either.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
You can't tell anyone to leave, Unfortunately, I don't think
you can. But I really do like enjoying the stories.
It's like my dinner time story.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Of like why you get off on hearing your friend's
because either.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Way it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen.
Speaker 6 (23:09):
I'm not gonna call you again with my problem, right, No,
I'll give advice, But at the same time, it's like
this is happening, Like that's not my household. I'm not
controlling what he or she is doing. I'm just here
to listen. But like, yeah, it's a nice dinner time story.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Well, I don't know if it was real, but I
know I said it to Kaylein. I'm not sure if
I sent it to you guys on TikTok. It reaction
looked pretty real. But it was a guy and his
girlfriend calling his best friend on speakerphone and he goes,
I just want to let you know. I think I
don't know what her name was, Mary. Mary is no
longer my girlfriend. And he's like, thank god, that was
the craziest bitch I've ever known. And he's like, what
(23:44):
because she's my fiancee and she gets all pissed, and
I don't know if it was real, but it was
funny and I looked real. And that's why you got
to be very careful what you say, because it's amazing
how sometimes the you know, the toxic girlfriend, toxic boyfrid
and all of a sudden becomes somebody's spouse and you're like, oh, boy,
I know.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
I had a friend in her boyfriend at the time,
getting too a really big fight, so bad that like
and it was a fundamental issue that she had to
come like stay with me, Like she had to like
leave the house and take the dog. And he proposed
to her a week later, and like while while she
said yes and like they're destined to be.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Together, Like it was very hard for me to like
get on board.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Because it was such a bad, bad, bad fight. I
was like, this is weird. Obviously she didn't know he
was gonna propose.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
But the dog still at the house, like she's like
staying with me, Like it's but yeah, so wow, relationships
are fun, guys.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
That's why we're single. So much fun.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, I don't know. I just keep The problem with
the dating world is it just doesn't I don't I
don't know, like dating is not that much fun anymore,
And then I'm just the whole thing for the last
few months years, I don't know, I've just been a
little perplexed. I keep doing it because I hope that
(25:01):
the outcome will be different, But the outcome's never really different.
It's just I don't know. It's all a little flaky,
a little flighty, And I think I hate to blame
everything on the internet, but I think a lot of
it has to do with the selection, the assumed or
implied selection that I don't know. It's the same people
(25:22):
on these dating apps over and over, and I'm one
of them, over and over and over again. So what
does that tell you? Everyone keeps going back to the
dating apps and it's the same pool of people, So
what does that tell you? It tells you that it's
people who have just either chosen quickly the wrong person
because they didn't know them well enough, or discarded a
person to go back to the dating apps. Because it's
(25:43):
this implied pool of new applicants. It's almost like there's
something better or just right around the corner and at
the tip of my fingers, and it's free and I
don't have to work through my issues kind of stuff.
I don't know. I just and I'm part of the
problem because I do the same thing. But it's just
I don't That's all that's in my mind. Will you
(26:11):
tell when you ask them about dating? My brain just goes.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
When was the last time you had like a crush
that like made your little tummy.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
I feel like I thought you you're a little something
woo woo.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I don't know, I just I don't really I don't
have any trust for anybody out there because this is
like and like I said, I'm the same way. You know.
It's just it takes too long when you meet someone
on an app to believe that they really want to
be there, because people are so flighty, you know. It's
(26:44):
like and like I said, I'm I'm just as bad.
But you'll you'll make it. You'll go on a date
with someone and you'll plan a date. Then they'll disappear,
and that's because they got a better match, I guess,
or I got a better match, and then I start
pursuing that one and that doesn't work out, so then
I go backwards again. It's just there's a lot there's
a lot of applied selection, a lot of implied choice.
Or you've got people who are on there saying they
(27:05):
want a relationship or saying they're trying to date, but
they're really not ready for that, and then you don't
find that out until you're a little bit invested. And
then you're like well, wait a minute. You know, I
thought we were on the same page, and now you're
pulling the rug and I've done the same thing, so
I'm no better. But I think maybe if it were
a little less easy to meet people, or you had
to actually put some skin. I've said this for years.
(27:27):
If you had to actually put skin in the game
and walk up to a person and invest in them
and talk to them and take them out and get
to know them and not just jump right back on
an app again, I feel like people wouldn't be more
likely to stay in relationships. I think because it was
it used to be harder to meet people. You had
to actually go out and physically approach people. And the
(27:50):
thing about physically approaching someone is you talk about that feeling.
You can't duplicate that on an app, or you think
you can't.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
No, you can't.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Like you think you look at a picture and be like, Wow,
that person's good looking. It's not the same, though, is
seeing them from across the room and being like, oh Wow,
I want to talk to that person because there's an
there's a chemistry, there's an energy, there's a lot of
different stuff going on that you can't account for.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yeah, like I heard someone say, like who didn't meet
their partner on a dating app? Like if you put
your partner or any of your exes, like if they
were on a dating app, like would you swipe for them?
Because it's not always like the hottest person you've ever
seen or whatever, and it's interesting to think about, like
would you I mean, I know you met Hobby on
a dating app, but like if you hadn't, it's you know,
it's just interesting to think about, like would you would
(28:37):
you swipe on them.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
If you didn't meet them organically? As our friend Mojo.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Would say, organically. Yeah, that's how you're saying organic organic?
All right, Well there's the tank. We'd started. We started
with padlocks in the dick, and they ended up with
padlocks in the dick, so they go, there's there's the tank.
Thanks for listening. Listen to all the other shit too,
please thank spy
You should have heard the brainstorming process, just moments to go.
In fact, you know what, we'll do it. We'll do
it right now. Welcome to the Tangent. Let's go. It's
the Tangent with the bread show giving me all the
we couldn't talk about on air. Okay, So we wrapped
up the show and we're like, we're doing a tangent today.
All right, good? So are what are our options? And
(00:20):
we had a few. What did we come up with
the various things that we rejected? Though? What did we reject? Well?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I was telling you how I was watching Real Housewives
of New York and one of the girls they were
playing two truth in a Lie and she stuck a
popsicle in her punani during sex as like a sexual thing.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Huh.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
And I just have not gotten that out of my.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Head because like your pH like I hope it was
like all natural.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
And then Jason said that he uses his key to
it's his ear, which had nothing to do with that.
And then he was like, well, we could do a
topic about what do you stick in your bodily orifices? Well,
I think most people would have the same answer, So
I don't know how Okay, that would that would let
me be a two minute long tangent.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
So what are you stick in your holes?
Speaker 1 (01:07):
You nothing? I keep I try and keep things out
of my body holes.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
Oh you do, that's so fun?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah, don't. Typically, I'm more of an exit. Let's get
things out of there then then put things in there.
I'm just afraid something might get stuck. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, it's not like hold stuff around in your vagins,
Like could you like transport stuff?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I mean I've seen it done on h on locked
up abroad where that you transport drugs in the in
the huha or like in the Customs show about Customs,
Immigration's Border, the Border show, they're always finding stuff in
people's assholes.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
In there, Like I don't you know.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
If you couldn't bring a bag into like a concert venue,
could you?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Now I a bottle of I have.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Had a friend who puts some drugs before they were
mainly gall in her vagene to get all yeah, and
then we all partook.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I don't know. It's kind of crazy to think about.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Now.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
In jail, don't they make you like squat for that reason?
Speaker 1 (02:12):
The squat like take a little look in there and yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, why do you think it is if you can
fit some up in there, well, it stretches like think
about giving birth, but when it's resting your own drinks.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah, they did make a tampon flask. I think that.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I don't think that's to put in there. I think
that's to put in your purse.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
So it looks like then I did it wrong.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I think it was to make it look like that. Oh,
like so if we look in your bag, I'm like, Okay,
do you guys ever worry about that? Do you ever
think about that? Like when you go to a sporting
event or something and you have to have the clear purse,
and like if you have if you have those kind
of items in your purse, like, do you ever care
like that everyone's going to see it?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
No, not any I think when I was younger, I
probably got like embarrassed by not anymore. I'm so fucking
sick of those like clear bags or small bags. Like
I understand it's for our safety, but like Jesus, every
venue has a different size bag that you can bring
in a different rule, Like in Detroit you can only
have clear not even It's just like what's going on? Yeah,
(03:19):
no bagson, stuff in my bra Then I guess.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
You have to like check, but you go on the
website ahead of time to figure out what you're allowed
to bring and what you're not.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Yeah, And my fucking friend Tatiana was going out with
Jason and I and kept arguing about me about her
Chanel purse, telling me that it's fine, And I was like, Tatiana,
if they tell you that you have to put your
bag away, I am not leaving with you.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
I'm not walking a half an hour back to the car.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
So then when we get to the venue, she didn't
bring a purse and she saw the line wrapped around
the corner of the ladies who had to use the locker,
And I said, aren't you glad that I thought you
on this?
Speaker 3 (03:53):
It's very upsetting.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I'm reading this story about this is what it says.
This is from the Daily Star in the UK. Here's
the headline. Bloke had to have penis padlock removed after
girlfriends split. She was the only one with a key.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
What So a guy had a penis padlock and it
doesn't show it. I don't think it shows it, but apparently,
and I don't really know exactly how it worked, but
she was the only one. Oh, there it is. She
was It's like, that looks like a normal pad there,
but that was that's just like a normal padlock. Though
how it how it worked? I don't know. That's the padlock.
(04:32):
It was slump, that's a regular right right right? But
so it said, uh is that he wore it from
time to time and then his girlfriend kept a hold
of the key. The unnamed man has spent the last
three months trying to remove it after breaking up with
his lover. By the time he eventually retrieved the key
from his ex, the lock had rusted shut. As a result,
(04:54):
he had to go to a tattoom piercing specialist to
remove it.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Oh wait, wait, wait, so it went through some.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Sort of hole.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out it. Did
it actually prevent him from uh from from doing stuff? Like?
Was the padlock there to prevent him from doing things
when she wasn't around? Or was it more like figurative
like it was a piercing but a padlock.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Instead I just jumped up inside his body.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
But think like that, it wouldn't have prevented it from working.
But if you had, like you know, how you can
have like a dick piercing had an Albert. If you
had like a padlock in there, you can't you wouldn't
be able to stick it anywhere because it would be
too massive. So that's what it was.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I would like to keep my man's shit locked up.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Do you really want to be in a relationship that
with a guy who you think is going to stick
it somewhere?
Speaker 3 (05:41):
I just think it's hot.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
I don't know really, Yeah, I mean I obviously, like
I'm not going to pierce someone's wiener, but.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I want to keep it locked up.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Oh my god. Anyway they were able to somehow open
it and get it out. Everything's okay now.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
But I do you think, go look, I'm so hot?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
NOI cure No, it looks like a padlock like that
would be on any kind of.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Like a lot bike. Yeah. No, that's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Have you ever seen anything really odd? Like have you
ever seen have you ever dated a guy or seen
a guy with a dick piercing or like a dick
tattoo or piercing.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Yeah, that's about it. Yeah, have you seen a piercing me? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Not in real life?
Speaker 3 (06:21):
Okay, one, so maybe there's a chance.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
No, like I told you guys, I dated the one
girl that didn't and then did have the basically a
vagina tattoo. It wasn't on like the lip part, but
it was on the above part, the kind of foldy
part on the top, you know, you know the part
where it kind of starts, you know what I'm talking about,
like where the slip kind of starts. It was across
that it would normally it would be covered with hair
(06:49):
if there were hair there, but there there wasn't, and
it was it was a tattoo of a bow. And
because apparently the guy who she dated between me and me,
uh did to appreciate that as much as she would
have liked. And so uh everyone from that point forward
would know what a gift it was that they were receiving.
(07:09):
Which I'll be honest with you now, every time I
look at that, if i'm her husband, because she's married now,
every time I look at that, I just think how
scorned she was by another dude.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
He didn't like her vagina.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
No, I think it was like I think he I
don't know, I don't know what happened done she scorned.
He scorned her such that she felt as though she
needed to. I don't know do that.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I always heard that rumor that if you get your
Johinny peers that like you could like orgasm going up
the stairs and stuff, which always sounded fun.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
But no, no piercing here, and I've never seen one
in real life. I've never seen a Johnny piercing in
real life.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Anybody hereaturists. It's on the.
Speaker 6 (07:52):
Want.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
I want. I'm on the floor. So how am I gonna?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Like? You get your sun up, girl, you can go
fishing with it, though you can just.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
With a friend to get them. I mean, it sounds
so painful, I know, but I know.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
What that stuff does, like a like a hoodlatoral hood piercing.
Get out of here, out of town? What are we doing?
Speaker 5 (08:16):
You know? But then it's supposed to be more fun later.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I don't know. It seems masochistic. I don't know, of
your dick, Like a piercing through the head.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
That's discussed, Like what how would I sit there for that? Yea,
I know, but I don't understand how.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Yeah, I don't know. Run oh my God is one
thing and a piercing is another thing. But like you know,
some of the piercings are it's a little much. How
do the piercings work that don't have an end? Like
the piercing, like the people who get like their forehead
piers Like.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
How does it work the dermals?
Speaker 1 (08:50):
How does it work that there's like not a that's
a great question doesn't come out, you know what I mean?
Like because normally a piercing has like the back to it.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
It's inside that's on the other side of your skin.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
How did you get there?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Though? How does it stay in? Though?
Speaker 5 (09:02):
I think they put that party in first and then
they screw it in.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
It's like a face Oh my god. Yeah, and you
can just have that done by a tad a piercing specialist.
I think you know that sounds like a surgery. You're
not going to Claires though, some high school kids in.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
Drill.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Oh my, I'll never forget.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
When I was little, I was that Claires and watch
someone get their ears pierced, and I saw they use
the gun.
Speaker 5 (09:27):
I saw the chunk of skin fly into the clothing
and I.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Was like, oh my god, no, no, I mean no,
shade the claies.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
But like I know, no.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
No, no, no, no, no no no no no no
no no no.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, have you guys had any piercing or tattoo calamities?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Like, never been pierced?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Never?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Never?
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Where would I?
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I can see you with a hoop like m J.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, and a foe mock turtleneck like m J two. Yeah,
a piercing a mock turtle neck. I love the game
basketball like a kind of weird mustache. And yeah, would
you ever get a piercing?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
No, no, not your style, Albert.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Not again? No, closed up. Yeah, I took it out.
I've contemplated you remember this.
Speaker 6 (10:17):
Oh yeah, no, I still I was talking really big
that weekend.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
No, my sister let me down. It was supposed to be.
It was supposed to be.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
She's not getting it.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
I'm not getting it.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
That was a point.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
The point was the four of us would have a
tattoo and and and so when she backed out, it
was like, well, then what do I need one for
if we're not all doing it? Then I did it.
They had one previously, though, like she they got it
the year before. No they do no, no, no, no,
you're right they did do it my cousin, right, yeah,
but then I think she went back and had something
(10:49):
added to it. But she had my dad's initials.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
She forgot that small thing.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
But I didn't want it, right, I didn't. I didn't
really want a tattoo. I thought we were doing it
as it like a group in solidarity, right, and then
when we didn't do it then so I didn't need it.
I didn't want it anyway. So I was like, all right, fine,
But now I've thought about it, I just don't know. What.
Would you get my grandfather's signature somewhere? Probably that's nice, No,
(11:17):
but I don't. I don't. I just think I would
would bother me, like I think. I think as much
as I would love that, I also think I would
like scratch at it or or like it would I
would feel like it was because you know, like we
all know the places on our bodies that are abnormal,
like if you've got a weird shape this or like that,
(11:38):
or if in those areas I tend to like look
at a lot or be aware that they're there. I
feel like a tattoo would be the same way. It
would look like it wasn't supposed to. I don't know.
I'm a little OCDS. I think it would throw me off. Yeah,
and and so you know, so then the gesture wouldn't
really be worth it if it bothered me, but maybe
I think they look cool. I love hearing about other
people's tattoos. I always ask people about the ink they
(12:01):
have and what it means. It's interesting, though. Every now
and again I'll ask somebody about their their ink and
they get kind of shy about it, like they I've
had a few people like they don't really want to
get into it, and I'm like, well, it's all over
your body, like this is it's not concealed, so I
guess it's kind of weird. Like a couple of times
it's been like, well what's that and they're like they
don't really want to talk about it. I'm like, well
(12:22):
you got you got like a you've got art on
your body that's visible to me as a person who
doesn't know you. I guess anyone has the right to
have a private meaning for it. But I guess if
I were someone who had a tattoo and I didn't
want to tell people the real story, I would come
up with a fake one.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
It's like when you have a crazy looking dog and
you get mad when people stop you, you know what
I mean, like either super big or like you know,
one of those dogs that are.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
Just like whoa.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Then you're like, oh, it's like you have a fucking
huge ass dog.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Yeah, my guy friend got my other guy friend's face
tattooed on his ass because he lost a bet and it.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Has a really bad tattoo that was done by his buddy,
just one afternoon, like a jail. Basically. Yeah, guy never
tattooed before. He just let his buddy tattoo him.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
How do you how do you do like a d
I why do.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
You know the whole story? I'd have to you'd have
to ask Colin. But he wants to cover it up.
I think, uh, he wants actually wants a tattoo of Adler,
their cat there. He wants a tattoo of their maingon.
He sure he can't. He's married, he's you know, he'll
be there as long as my sister will let him,
which hopefully is for life. But God, bless that guy.
(13:30):
You know, to think that several years ago I wouldn't
sure about him, and now I think he's a fucking saint.
He's an angel, Yeah he is. The Frederick women are incredible,
but not easy. That's why for the for all the
people who say like, you couldn't be married, or why
aren't you married? Or you're there so you're that. Not
to go back to that topic earlier, but like, my
(13:52):
mom and my sister are wonderful, amazing people, but they
are powerful women and they get their way and it
requires a little bit of maneuvering. So if you think
I don't know what it's like to be around a
powerful woman like I, I it's been my whole life
and now I got three of them. Oh yeah, because
Polly is no joke.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
She'll be running.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
She's already running my shit. She knows exactly what it's innate.
It is innate. When I was there a couple of
weekends ago, she's very expressive and she's negotiating with me.
I don't know what the hell she's saying because they're
not real words yet, but she's straight up negotiating with me,
and I'm just like, I don't know what you're saying,
(14:35):
but I know you're trying to fuck with me, Like
I know you're trying to get me to do something
right now I don't want to do. And that is innate.
That is it you were born with that.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Yeah. I also think like I don't know, Keiki if
you feel this way of Paulina, But like, I was
raised primarily by my mom and my nana, who are
two of those strongest women ever, And sometimes.
Speaker 5 (14:51):
I have to like soften myself a little bit in
like a dating.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Setting because I was just brought up like very not
like aggressively, but you know what I mean, like very
strong in that drilled into me, so like part of
it I probably was born with them, but part of
it is my mom and grandma, and I have to
check myself a little bit.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Oh yes, I tell everybody I was raised by no
limits soldier. Her name is Helena. And when I got
with it wasn't until I got a big tim where
I had to like check that because he was like,
wait a minute, He's like, hold on, I'm the man here,
let me let me you know. But when you're when
you date men who are not or don't have those
leadership qualities to your point, friend, like you, you obviously
can handle it because you raised you were raised by
(15:27):
women who are very straightforward and firm and like leaders.
But for men who don't have that quality, it's very
tough to be in a relationship with them because they
don't understand why you're so like, why you are the
way you are well.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
And that's the thing is if you're on the like again,
I'm not dissing my mom or my sister. Uh. These
you know, they're powerful, amazing women, but like you also
learned to stand up for yourself and say no sometimes.
And there are women that aren't used to hearing no
from men and they don't like it at all. That's true,
Like there are people that just can't handle it. And
I'm sure the same is true for men. And I
(16:00):
can't speak to that, but like, I've dated women where
I'm like, I'm I'm not doing that, and it's like what,
I've never had a man tell me that they wouldn't
do everything I say. And it's like, no, because because
I guess I learned to choose my battles, you know
what I mean. I mean, I was raised by people
that not that would take advantage of you know, that's
not that, but it's kind of like, you know what I.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Mean, You had to find your voice or else you're
gonna get run over.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yeah, I've dated people that have listened to everything I
say and I end up being not attracted to them
and just walking all over them, like without even thinking
about it, and my mom is like, you gotta chill, Like,
but it's just not something that I think about. So
I need someone who's like, uh huh, like no, no, well,
on a second, we need to figure this out because
we're not gonna be doing that all the time.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Well. The other funny thing about being raised by and
being around powerful women as a man is I think
that there's as a single guy, I get the whole Well,
you don't you know, I don't know. You're kind of
like the prince complex, Like I don't know, Like like
the women in your life are proud of you're the
only son, so they tell you that you're right all
the time. My mom will me on my ship faster
(17:01):
than anybody else. Good, No, I know, I know that.
But then I think sometimes when you're the only son,
especially when you're not married and whatever else, you get
this reputation of like, well, you're being mommied or or
you know, I don't know, and it's like, no, I mean,
I am my mom, does mom me? She's my mom?
But like at the same time she thinks I'm fucking up.
(17:22):
Then the phone rings and she's like, hey, asshole, like
you can't treat somebody like that, or don't do that,
or I don't like this, or why'd you say that?
Speaker 3 (17:29):
You know, respect?
Speaker 1 (17:30):
And the truth is, I think if I married or
dated the right woman who my mom agreed was, you know,
if my mom rode for somebody, she would win all ties.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Yeah, yeah, not me, the woman.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
My mom would write. My mom would like nothing more
than for me to date someone seriously or marry someone
who she rides for. And if if that happens, I'm
fucked because then I've got Polly, Mom, Amanda, and my
girlfriend wife, I'll never ever win an argument ever.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
You guys do it right though, like you and your
mom like she does check you.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
But I have dated Mama's boys who like don't get checked,
and it's a nightmare.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Yes, it's an absolute fucking nightmare.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Like well, the good news about getting checked by someone
that you love in your you know, like in your
family or whatever in this case family, is that then
when she gives me positive praise or when she takes
my side, I know she means it, yeah, you know,
as opposed to like if I call my mom she
you know, we all have people in our lives. Who
who when we want them, when we want to feel
like we're right and we don't want to be challenged,
(18:32):
we know who to call.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
Ye Yes.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
For a lot of people, that's their parents, or their siblings,
or their best friend or whatever, or a friend. In
my case, though, I'm not always going to get the
answer that Especially my sister's that way too. I'm not.
She's not always going to tell me what I want
to hear, which is good.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
That is good. You need those people in your life.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
For sure, because the worst thing is when people and
I've dated people, we've all probably dated people like this
who only surround themselves with the people who are going
to tell them what they want to hear. Yeah, And
you know, I've know with this a few times in
relationships where it's like, well, my friend says that what
you said was fucked up, and I'm like, well, I
told my girls about our fight and they said and
I'm like, guess what. I don't give a fuck because like,
(19:12):
first of all, I'm not fucking them right, so unless
unless you want me to start fucking them, because then
at least I get the benefit of the poona he
started right like at least I'm getting laid more. You know,
for people they're yelling at me, shit talking to me.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I don't know why people would want to do that,
because for me, like my friends are so important to me,
and like when I'm dating someone that's so important and
I want them to have like a good relationship. So
I would never want to muddy those waters, and like,
who the fuck cares what your friends?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Well, I'm sorry, but most people don't really tell the
story the way it happened. Most people I know do
not actually tell their friends here's what he said, and
here's what I said, and here's why it started. And
sometimes it will be my fault, but sometimes it was
your fault. But a lot of people will only tell
their friends the part where they felt like they got
(20:04):
shpit on and not maybe what led to it. And
so of course your friends are gonna be like what
a dick or you know, in my case, if a
friend calls me and goes, my wife did this, I'll
be like, what a bitch. But what he didn't tell
me was the part where he called her. You know
what I'm saying, Like, he didn't tell me why it
started or that he started it. So of course I'm
going to give the feedback, well, that's fucked up. But
(20:26):
the problem is if you don't tell your friends the
whole story, and I truly believe that most people don't,
then you're not going to get unbiased information. And the
other problem is when you only tell the part of
the story where the other person was a fuck then
when you make up because you did have culpability, now
you go hang out with that person again, or you
go back and tell them we made up. Now there's
judgment because it's like, well, how could you make up
(20:48):
with a person who treated you that way? Well, you
didn't tell the whole story. You didn't tell the part
of the story where we motherfucked each other.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Right, I don't get three sides to every story.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Right, exactly exactly. Yeah, that's where that's where the whole
friend group because I can't expect the people won't confide
in their friends. But like, my friends don't call me
and tell me that their wives are fucking horrible people
because I hang out with their wives too, and you don't,
and you don't want to have to back out of that,
you know what I mean? Like my friends don't. Of course,
my friends get frustrated, And I'm sure their wives get frustrated,
(21:21):
but they don't call me and go. They'll never get
so that bitch did again, because then I gotta sit
across the table from her, and everybody's uncomfortable.
Speaker 4 (21:28):
Yeah, yep, but it can sometimes when your friends call
you with that. I'm the friend that listens.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
I don't.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
I won't say too much about your spouse because once
you finish vincing to me, then you and your spouse
will be having makeup sex in thirty minutes, right, So
I like, I'm not gonna unleash on your spouse because
then you're gonna start acting weird because now I've told
you how I really feel about this bitch, but really
I don't feel you know what I'm saying, Like, you'll
never know that I feel that way because they're gonna
make up.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
But it's still hard even if you don't say it
out loud. It's still hard when when you know what
you think you know and then you hang around these
people again. Yeah, and a lot of times, you know,
like you really advocate for someone that you love to
leave a relationship because you only know what you've been
told and you hope that that's really what it is.
But the problem is they never leave, and then it's
(22:13):
like you become almost what's the word I'm looking for,
Oh God, resentful in some ways, like you keep calling
me and telling me these stories about how horrible this
person is, you don't leave them. Is there more to
the story? You know? And it's like I don't know.
And I'm always gonna be there for my friends. I'm
always gonna listen, but at the same time, there comes
(22:34):
a point where I can no longer help you.
Speaker 6 (22:36):
No, I agree with that, but I feel too like
there's some people that I'll listen to their stories and
like I want more. I'll be like, oh, like next
week or you know, when he doesn't come home again
from the bar, like I want to hear about it.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
So that's why I do kind of try to act neutral.
Speaker 6 (22:49):
And I will never tell a friend to leave, a fiance, husband, boyfriend, whatever,
because that never goes well.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Either.
Speaker 6 (22:54):
You can't tell anyone to leave, Unfortunately, I don't think
you can. But I really do like enjoying the stories.
It's like my dinner time story.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Of like why you get off on hearing your friend's
because either.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Way it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen.
Speaker 6 (23:09):
I'm not gonna call you again with my problem, right, No,
I'll give advice, But at the same time, it's like
this is happening, Like that's not my household. I'm not
controlling what he or she is doing. I'm just here
to listen. But like, yeah, it's a nice dinner time story.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Well, I don't know if it was real, but I
know I said it to Kaylein. I'm not sure if
I sent it to you guys on TikTok. It reaction
looked pretty real. But it was a guy and his
girlfriend calling his best friend on speakerphone and he goes,
I just want to let you know. I think I
don't know what her name was, Mary. Mary is no
longer my girlfriend. And he's like, thank god, that was
the craziest bitch I've ever known. And he's like, what
(23:44):
because she's my fiancee and she gets all pissed, and
I don't know if it was real, but it was
funny and I looked real. And that's why you got
to be very careful what you say, because it's amazing
how sometimes the you know, the toxic girlfriend, toxic boyfrid
and all of a sudden becomes somebody's spouse and you're like, oh, boy,
I know.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
I had a friend in her boyfriend at the time,
getting too a really big fight, so bad that like
and it was a fundamental issue that she had to
come like stay with me, Like she had to like
leave the house and take the dog. And he proposed
to her a week later, and like while while she
said yes and like they're destined to be.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Together, Like it was very hard for me to like
get on board.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Because it was such a bad, bad, bad fight. I
was like, this is weird. Obviously she didn't know he
was gonna propose.
Speaker 6 (24:26):
But the dog still at the house, like she's like
staying with me, Like it's but yeah, so wow, relationships
are fun, guys.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
That's why we're single. So much fun.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, I don't know. I just keep The problem with
the dating world is it just doesn't I don't I
don't know, like dating is not that much fun anymore,
And then I'm just the whole thing for the last
few months years, I don't know, I've just been a
little perplexed. I keep doing it because I hope that
(25:01):
the outcome will be different, But the outcome's never really different.
It's just I don't know. It's all a little flaky,
a little flighty, And I think I hate to blame
everything on the internet, but I think a lot of
it has to do with the selection, the assumed or
implied selection that I don't know. It's the same people
(25:22):
on these dating apps over and over, and I'm one
of them, over and over and over again. So what
does that tell you? Everyone keeps going back to the
dating apps and it's the same pool of people, So
what does that tell you? It tells you that it's
people who have just either chosen quickly the wrong person
because they didn't know them well enough, or discarded a
person to go back to the dating apps. Because it's
(25:43):
this implied pool of new applicants. It's almost like there's
something better or just right around the corner and at
the tip of my fingers, and it's free and I
don't have to work through my issues kind of stuff.
I don't know. I just and I'm part of the
problem because I do the same thing. But it's just
I don't That's all that's in my mind. Will you
(26:11):
tell when you ask them about dating? My brain just goes.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
When was the last time you had like a crush
that like made your little tummy.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
I feel like I thought you you're a little something
woo woo.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
I don't know, I just I don't really I don't
have any trust for anybody out there because this is
like and like I said, I'm the same way. You know.
It's just it takes too long when you meet someone
on an app to believe that they really want to
be there, because people are so flighty, you know. It's
(26:44):
like and like I said, I'm I'm just as bad.
But you'll you'll make it. You'll go on a date
with someone and you'll plan a date. Then they'll disappear,
and that's because they got a better match, I guess,
or I got a better match, and then I start
pursuing that one and that doesn't work out, so then
I go backwards again. It's just there's a lot there's
a lot of applied selection, a lot of implied choice.
Or you've got people who are on there saying they
(27:05):
want a relationship or saying they're trying to date, but
they're really not ready for that, and then you don't
find that out until you're a little bit invested. And
then you're like well, wait a minute. You know, I
thought we were on the same page, and now you're
pulling the rug and I've done the same thing, so
I'm no better. But I think maybe if it were
a little less easy to meet people, or you had
to actually put some skin. I've said this for years.
(27:27):
If you had to actually put skin in the game
and walk up to a person and invest in them
and talk to them and take them out and get
to know them and not just jump right back on
an app again, I feel like people wouldn't be more
likely to stay in relationships. I think because it was
it used to be harder to meet people. You had
to actually go out and physically approach people. And the
(27:50):
thing about physically approaching someone is you talk about that feeling.
You can't duplicate that on an app, or you think
you can't.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
No, you can't.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Like you think you look at a picture and be like, Wow,
that person's good looking. It's not the same, though, is
seeing them from across the room and being like, oh Wow,
I want to talk to that person because there's an
there's a chemistry, there's an energy, there's a lot of
different stuff going on that you can't account for.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yeah, like I heard someone say, like who didn't meet
their partner on a dating app? Like if you put
your partner or any of your exes, like if they
were on a dating app, like would you swipe for them?
Because it's not always like the hottest person you've ever
seen or whatever, and it's interesting to think about, like
would you I mean, I know you met Hobby on
a dating app, but like if you hadn't, it's you know,
it's just interesting to think about, like would you would
(28:37):
you swipe on them.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
If you didn't meet them organically? As our friend Mojo.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Would say, organically. Yeah, that's how you're saying organic organic?
All right, Well there's the tank. We'd started. We started
with padlocks in the dick, and they ended up with
padlocks in the dick, so they go, there's there's the tank.
Thanks for listening. Listen to all the other shit too,
please thank spy
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