April 25, 2022 • 26 mins
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, lots uh lots to catch up on here
(00:02):
in the tangent, let's do it. It's the tangent with
the FDA we couldn't talk about on air morning. Everybody welcome.
Rufia wants to change his hair and you're married to
a hairstylist and she won't do it. Doesn't that tell
you something? I mean, if she's a very talented hairstylist.
And I'm not just saying that because she's your wife,
(00:24):
I'm saying that because it's true, and she doesn't want
to do it, So doesn't that mean something to you?
I think she doesn't want to do it because it's
a process and I am not paying for this price.
And it's not like she could do it at home.
We'd have to do it at her work, and you
know she's busy and it have to be doing like
her off time is we you know, yeah, she still
(00:47):
have to we'd still have to pay for it, but
like obviously not the regular price. Correct. But she's gonna
be you were talking off the air, but she's gonna
be pissed if you were to go and pay somebody
else to do it. No, I would saying I was
saying I would book an appointment with her like a customer, like, hey,
this is what I want. I am the customer that
is paying. So you want a PERM yes, And she doesn't.
(01:10):
She's had a post it a look she doesn't want
doesn't want to do it, or she's supposed too. She
thinks I won't like it, Like I'm trying to go
for this style, you know, like the young kids nowadays,
they just look like messy and dishevel yes, the Jack
Harlow look, you know, like I don't have a great
thank you, thank you, I weirdly do. I don't have
like the natural Like it's my hairs somewhat kind of wavy,
(01:33):
but it's not like curly. And she's like, you don't
understand how curly hair works. And I'm like, I'm just
like I just wanted to like wake up and just
look like a mop on top of my head, you know,
just curly whatever style. Yeah, I just wanted to be
messy and just you know, and just be out there
with the perm. Well, how long will it last if
you don't like it? I don't know how long is
(01:54):
your hair grows? You know what I mean? Like yours
to bed like it doesn't just fall out after a while.
I don't think so. No. I think it's just like
your new growth, which isn't curly, will come through, so
I could take a while. Yeah, she's like you have
too much hair for her. It's an excuse after an excuse,
you know what I'm saying. China looks prochantastic out, just
(02:18):
trying to like have the truck her head, you know
when I'm just kidding, but I know, just chasing these trends, man. Yeah,
And I feel like I could pull it off, like
I don't know, like I have the confidence to pull
it off. Like you can pull off a lot of stuff.
I will say, you can pull off the clothing that
a lot of people I know can't. Most people I
know can't. You could pull it off. Yeah, she just won't.
She just won't do it. It's just, you know, I understand,
(02:40):
like obviously that's a service that's not cheap, you know,
and it's a it's a process and we'd have to
you know, put the things in the rollers and all
this stuff. And it's just I understand where she's coming from.
But she just tries it. She just talks me out
of it every time. Yeah, you know what they'll two like.
They say, like you always want you can't have so
growing up with curly hair, I always want it straight hair,
like I mean, like the straightest hair in the world. Yeah,
(03:02):
but you know, if I was to have that, I
know it would drive me crazy because then I couldn't
style it curly or have my natural curls. So are
you sure that's what you want to do for the
time being. Yes, She's like, well, you can't put in
like the pompadoor anymore. So it's like, that's that's a
you know whatever. But I just wanted to be like
a curly mop on my head. I support this, and
please don't take it the wrong way, but I sometimes
(03:22):
feel like your hair is still in the two thousands,
and I don't really mean I love this, doesn't really mean,
but not in a bad way, because I'm in the
two thousands as well. I haven't seen the way I address.
But the only thing I want to say is like,
I think that'd be a really cool new look for you,
especially because it is in. But I think I can
see it on you too. Thank you, And that's like
hard to pull off, and you can pull it off right, No, Okay, well,
there you go too, because oh I love Rufio, I
(03:47):
love his hair, but it is two thousands. Let's it's
it's a like to I don't. I don't. I don't
put in the pompadoor a lot, like just when I
have a bit like like today, like it's just like
this is the way it is. I don't fix it day,
but then it is a process when I do have
to fix it, you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah,
you're tired, Ryan, if it's if it's too long, it
doesn't sit right, if it's you know, it's I just
(04:09):
I just give up on it. So I just want
to have a style where I don't have to do anything,
Like I understand I would have to do something if
I had curly hair whatever, like you still have to
manage it. But I feel like it'd be a lot
easier than the then fixing the pompadour every day. So
we're talking on the show today about the world's Best lovers,
and I still don't know what the source of this
is because I kind of dispute I know who tested it.
(04:31):
I feel like Scottish people did it, because I kind
of dispute this to be honest with it. Not that
I have the perspective to know. I've never been with
the Scottish person, but apparently they're the best to get with.
It doesn't specify men or women. I think it's both. Well,
I think it's both. Yeah, they topped. Scottish people topped
to poll of people asked to rate vacation flings they
had in other countries. Oh so maybe it's not Scottish
(04:56):
people then maybe I don't know, but Scotland on vacation, yes,
but not a Scottish person. Um Scotland and Italy, France, England, Spain, America, Portugal, Ireland, Sweden, Wales.
I feel like nobody from out of the country is
in a big hurry to fucking American Like, you don't
(05:17):
you don't hear about you know a lot of folks
coming from out of town being like, oh, I really
hope I get laid on this trip, you know here
in Columbus, Ohio or whatever I mean. I hear. I
hear sometimes like women will say, like British women like
I feel like some people want Americans. I don't know why,
but what is American? Though? Like you know what I mean,
people who live here. I guess like people who maybe
we're born here, but there's like different Okay, think about
(05:38):
the coast we just talked about, right, So like the
New Yorkers, like, do you want a California boy? Do
you want to you know, the southern boy. I don't
think they get that into it. I think they just
want someone who's like American with the accent, you know
what I mean, because it's foreign to them. I mean,
we don't want that because we're here. But I already
know what you're gonna say, Paulina. It's gonna be Latin
oriented Mexican. I mean, it's what you're gonna say. He's Mexican, right,
(06:00):
your boyfriend, So you're gonna say that it's not You're
gonna ask you, um, But for the rest of you,
is there a particular region that you have had more
success or more pleasure, more happiness as a result of
the hookup. I feel hesitant to say like one is
(06:21):
the best, just because like I don't know that I've
had a big enough sample size of like each to
say that. I will say my best sex was with
a black guy, but I don't think that that the
current black guy. No, there's not a current I thought
there was. It's not a thing, it's but I would
say that was my best sex. Okay, yeah, trying to
(06:41):
call her out friend, I thought you said that though.
I thought that was at one point. Yeah, but he's gone,
we're done with him. It's we're chilling. I'm single. Oh
I see, Okay, all right? Um rufio are you gonna
you don't want to get involved in it? I mean
I've been I've only been with white girls, yes, and
which hair color. I feel like each one of them
(07:02):
has had an Italian like it's you know, there a
lot of them are like Italian mixed with somebody something else.
So I don't know how you do Yeah, um, that's yeah.
I don't have you know, I don't feel like I
can say enough, like I just have like my best
sex and then yeah, man, it's tough. I would say
(07:23):
I've had good and bad across the board, but I
would say Latin and Asian are up there. Uh. And
I can't really necessarily say why I think I've been
and I don't know. I don't want to say anything
that gets me in trouble. But maybe I don't know why.
I'm not sure. Maybe there's a more of a desire
to please. Culturally, I don't know. I really don't know.
(07:43):
But then again, I can think of other examples that
were pretty good too, So I don't I'm not sure,
but I am the United Nations. I uh yeah, I
don't discriminate. I really just I like what I like
when I like it, What is that clothing? Whatever? That's me.
I'm Oshkoshbagush. I don't know why I said that. I don't.
(08:06):
Guys in Swain were hot, but I didn't hook up.
I was in a relationship when I was living there,
so unfortunately for me, and I will also I will
say to that point, when I travel abroad, there's not
much of a rush to get with Americans from locals
where I go. I really haven't been anywhere where there's
anybody going, you know, like like I do think unfortunately
Americans have. There's just a general bad stigma about us
(08:29):
that we're that we're not culture, that we're naive, that
we're Especially when Trump was in office, it was like, really,
that's your president, Like it was like he represented all
of us. I don't know if you experiences, but I
will say whatever I go to the islands of any
sort the men fucking love me. I don't know why.
My sister's like, oh god, here's another guy like Turks
and Barbados, like I don't know what, like they might
just not see women or that look like me. I
(08:51):
don't know, but it's like it's now, it's like a
family joke. You're an island and I would be fine.
I mean, I think I'm high guys over there, So
what's up? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm just like
so maybe all six five, two hundred forty pounds of me,
two hundred and fifty pounds of this American red meat.
Maybe I just scream everything that might be not good.
(09:15):
I know you're American until you open your mouth. Like
I've been places where they thought they try to speak
the language to me, and then I'm like, no, I do.
I just I think there's a For as long as
I can remember, there's been this distigma that that we're assholes,
and it's not depends on where you go most places
I've been, unfortunately really, I mean, I know France like
(09:36):
hates us, but like the Irish people, they love us.
I had a good experience in Ireland, but again I
will say that the Trump thing was tough, and I'm
not I'm not shooting on doing whatever you whatever your
belief are. You know, some people think that he did
a lot of good. I mean whatever, whatever your political view,
but he was outspoken and in a way that most
world leaders are not. And it didn't necessarily always make
(09:58):
everybody happy across the world. But they have to know
that it wouldn't be your own personal fault. Like I
don't know, I've never been somewhere where they like held
it against me, like out of the country, Well, I
definitely have. I mean they're like, so, what's the deal
with this insane Trump guy? But like they don't like
hold you personally rightly, and by the way, a lot
of them, I mean there were people who didn't like
a lot of other political leaders too, But I do
think that that that kind of sets the tone because
(10:20):
it's like, this is who you voted for, you think,
all right. I mean I went to school in England
twenty years ago and I think Bush was the president
at the time he was, and I don't know, I
mean at the time, people didn't really I don't know
that I was at a pretty progressive school, but yeah,
people weren't necessarily, they didn't necessarily expect a whole lot
from us as Americans, and I think they were surprised
(10:43):
that most of us were open minded and wanted to
learn from them. The real problem is, I feel like
Americans typically and I'm not crabbing on our country, I'm
really not, But I think we just expect, because we're
the biggest and strongest and wealthiest or whatever, that when
we go places that people are going to just that
we don't have to try. You know, I see it
all the time. It's like when I'm traveling and it's
(11:03):
like everyone doesn't speak English? What do you mean? You know?
And I don't know, everyone's not it will say when
I travel abroad, I overcompensate to try to like stigmatize us,
like I try if I can to speak any order
in that language, or you know, be over accommodating, because
I do hate that they expect that you fucking know
English and when you're you know, halfway across the world,
or like why don't why don't more people? And seriously,
(11:25):
people are gonna at me for this, but it's like
why why don't Why don't other countries said, why don't
they have our culture? Why don't they serve food and
do things like we do. It's like, well, because that's
the point, you know, for me, that's the point of
going somewhere else, is that I want to I want
to know how you do it. I don't want you
to do it how I do it. Like my aunt
moved to Argentina and for a long time she you know,
(11:46):
she didn't she didn't speak that form of Spanish um,
and she didn't speak any Spanish actually, and so she
to this day like doesn't She's lived there for ten
years but doesn't know everything. She's really good. But she'll
go some places and I'll see her and they'll start
to talk to her in English and she'll have to
tell them, no, don't talk to I want you to
speak to me in Spanish because I'm trying to learn,
(12:08):
because I'm trying to become fluent um. And it's just like,
but people just automatically I feel like, well, you're not
you know, you speak English, so you're probably not going
to try. And it's like no, no, no, you have
to remind folks like, no, I want to try. Yeah,
and I don't. I don't know that other parts of
the they do that for other parts of the world.
I think sometimes we can be a little stuffy for sure,
(12:28):
that I try. I'm like going above and beyond to
try to not be like that whenever I'm out of
the country, just because I feel so bad that that's
the stereotype. Yeah, I feel like a lot of countries
people at around the world think we're like the like
the frat house of the world. You know what I'm saying, Like,
you know, like we just party in this Yeah. Yeah,
I take all their holidays and turn them into drinking holidays.
(12:50):
Like it's like even the Irish people, like they don't
do Saint Patties like we do. Like the Americans just
come out here and and I see like other things too.
This is like, especially like the presidential stuff's like, oh,
that's you guys pick a new president every this. And
you know, I'm saying, you guys don't have a queen.
You know what I'm saying, You guys don't have free healthcare.
There's queen. Her name is Jason Brown. Yeah, that's true.
(13:13):
That's the only queen we recognize. No, I'm super proud
to be an American and I this is certainly all
the liberties that we have living in this country that
no one should take for granted. They're so rare. That
being said, I do think that per capita we could
represent we could represent ourselves better abroad. Yeah, And I think,
you know, oftentimes there is a generalization about what we're
(13:35):
going to be before we show up because of other
people's experience. When I was in Turks, they were talking
about how um, you know, because in other places, like
some places you don't tip, some places they don't place
like speed, you know, as an importance. And you know
over there it's island time. They want to relax, they
want to talk to people, and they one guy in
particular was telling me some New Yorkers were like banging
(13:57):
on the bar and you know, demanding fast or service,
and that's just so embarrassing to me. And they're like,
we don't care who you are. Like when Bieber was here,
we didn't treat them different. We don't care we're doing
things slow or like in Spain, you know, you don't
get the bill for four hours because they don't work
for tips. You'll find your waiters smoking a sig in
the back. It's like because they don't place an emphasis
on like getting through things fast, and I've seen so
(14:18):
many Americans like bitch about the service, and it's like,
try to open your mind that that's not how they
do things there, you know what I mean, Like, what
would be so bad about taking longer at dinner? You
know what I mean. I think it happens. It happens
within countries. It certainly happens within our country too. I mean,
I think that there are people who assume, sadly that
(14:39):
people because of their skin color, or gender or background
are they just assume that you're going to feel a
certain kind of way, or that the words coming out
of your mouth they come from a certain place or whatever.
I think that a lot of people generalize. I think
people generalize about us abroad. I think we generalize about people.
I think people generalize about each other within our own country,
and it's kind of sad as um. I sometimes wonder,
(15:03):
you know, how much how much divide there really is.
I mean, there's certainly are some shitty people out there
who believe some really crazy shit. But at the end
of the day, like and I hate saying that, but
when you when you sort of boil it all down,
I feel like if you were in a room of
a lot of different people who all had common sense.
I feel like we all kind of want the same
kind of thing. Um, but you wouldn't know it. You
(15:25):
wouldn't know it in the way that people relate with
each other these days. So basically just like bang every nationality. Yeah,
that should be added to our just get back. Yeah,
so we were actually, um, we were actually sort of
making sure we had from the from the wedded, the
Bill of Rights. Yeah. Yeah, the Friends show Bill of Rice. Um,
(15:47):
So it's it's cheat responsible, chat responsibly. Always always give
it up up to the military. Never trust the fart,
Never trust a fart. No, you gotta show people your butthole.
Are you gotta be willing to show people? Yes, you
got to be willing to because that was a tang.
And you can't reason with reptiles and birds. You can't.
(16:09):
You can't. You cannot reason with a reptile. Calin I'm sorry.
I love snakes, but you can't reason with one. I
don't think you can't reason with a bear, but you
think I know I can't. I absolutely can't with honey
every time, every single time. Yeah, yeah, no problem, I
just take my pants off. That looked like him. Because
you know they only wear shirts. Oh then yeah, they
only wear shirts, they don't wear pants. And then you
(16:30):
got to give him some honey, and then it's fine.
But what snake are you gonna do? I'm gonna put
you klin in a room with a venomous python. I
love snakes, and I'm gonna see. I'm gonna see you reason.
You gonna come out. I don't know how you're gonna
organize this, but I'll find one. They smell at their tongues. Yeah, well,
I'm gonna I'm gonna see if you can reason with
this venomous I was the weirdo like field trips, who
(16:51):
was like, can I hold the big like banana pipes? Like?
I was always the field trip kid who was like,
I think she thought she's got a better chance with
a venomous snake in a room than you do with
a bear. Do you say that? But I could reason.
I know just what to do all of them. I
know just what to do. Give him honey, and even
scratch their little heads and their bellies, rub their bell
(17:14):
rub their bellies. That's what you gotta do. Yeah, I
can reason with the bear. I can't reason with the snake.
I have a better chance of I have a better
chance of reasoning with a bear than a snake. I'll
say that that's a fact. Okay, let's try. Okay, both
believe that both will probably wind up killing me. But
I think I have a better chance because I don't
(17:35):
think a snake is like, snake's not looking at you,
trying to talk to you, trying to like, I don't
know what the hell snakes trying to do. Yeah, because
the snake, even if you stay still, like, the snake
will try to wrap you up if he'd wanted to.
You know what I'm saying. Like a bear was it
if it's brown, laid down? If I play dad, dumbass,
snake is still gonna bite me. Yess not what you do.
(17:59):
And some bears you you run away because you don't
know what the hell it's gonna do. That's my point.
You think you I don't know a bear, if you
play dead, you might not die. You might not die
for sure, And with a snake you might not die either.
I could reason with the bird too if I played.
If I come across a snake and it's pissed, okay,
it's pissed it You're always out in the woods and
(18:19):
it's decided that it's pissed. A rattlesnake, for example, stop, no, no,
If I just go drop to the floor, it's gonna
bite this shit out of me. It absolutely is stupid.
Why would you do that? Well, I'm not gonna run
away either, because it's gonna do bite me anybody. I'm
rude too. If you just one one bite could be dangerous,
could be venomous. You could die, you know, you could
(18:39):
get attacked by a baron, still survive. Yeah, I think
I could reason with all animals. Whatever. Okay, that's that's
a wild that's a hot take. That's a wild take. Yeah,
but I'm glad. I'm okay, I'm glad to know you.
So next time, next time the forest, I guess we're
gonna live. Thanks a lion a lion. Yeah, okay, Oh yeah.
(19:00):
Matthew McConaughey got he was on what is he on? Ayahuasca?
He got in that cage with that line. He said
he had that bitch purr it in his lap. Yeah,
there you go. I said it took him like eight
hours because he had to slowly get in there. I'm
with you on a lot of this, but not a
snake or a spider. Oh, alligator, alligator straight New Orleans. No, No,
(19:29):
I can't reason with an alligator. Nah. Once it's made up,
it's mine. You're you're gonna, You're gone. Yeah, I don't
care fast too, man, I don't care about this whole.
Apparently there's some physics where you know, that's how these
guys get their heads in it, because they can lock
their jaws somehow, or or they trick them. There's the
reason that hit him on the nose. There's a reason
that guys were able to put their heads in the
(19:50):
mouth and they won't open, they won't close their mouth.
Something to do with the with the physiology testing that though. No, No,
if I know, if I if I'm in the midst,
if an alligators in my midst or a crocodile, I'm out.
And then farm animals I can reason with all of them.
Love them. I told you the last time I was
like on a farm was in Ireland. I stayed on
(20:13):
a farm. I rented this guy's house with my dad.
I took him on that Ireland trip a couple of
years ago, and I rented a house on a farm.
I didn't know that in Dulin, Ireland, which amazing place,
and the guy had sheep I think he had cows,
cow maybe, and the guy that owned the place, and
they would like wander around and I go, hey, dude,
you know, proprietor of the house. So I go, hey,
(20:34):
can I get one of them over here? I want
to pet them? And he goes, they're not pets, Dude, like,
we're gonna eat them. And I'm and they know it.
I'm like, what do you mean you say I can't
walk over there to the cow or the thing. I'm
just pet He's like, you can try, but I don't
recommend it. Of course he was saying this in an
Irish accent. Yeah, I'm a minority like you. I probably
made you think that it's normal to want to go
(20:55):
up in touch a car. No, I would try. I
wanted to. I wanted to pet the animals. And I
think that's what he said. It's like, dude, if you
if you go over there, one of them is going
to stand off against you and the other ones are
gonna run. And I don't. I'm not helping you. I'm like, okay, yeah,
I don't think a lot of people want to go
pack but I did. Yeah, yeah, I mean they're really sweet,
they're very I want to pet all the animal I
(21:16):
love all the animals except for except for a spider
and a crocodile, bird, alligator. Yeah, birds. I don't know
about a bird either. No, I don't know about a bird.
I don't know about a bird. I don't know Chase
my duck. One time. I didn't mean to. I wish
I could see that. I couldn't reason with it. I'm like, dude,
(21:38):
I wasn't trying to. He didn't care or she the
mom was around, wasn't she. Yeah, I guess I was
close to the little ducklings. Well I get it too,
but I didn't mean to. Well she didn't know that,
that's my point. But I could not reason with her.
Coming for your babies. I tried that. No you didn't.
You ran scream like a little girl. We didn't really
(22:02):
need that part, But yeah, I probably did. And this
wasn't but maybe six months ago, so I was a kid.
I was yet, all right, that's it. That was very wild.
We've talked about race relations, we talked about global relations,
we talked about animals that we can reason with um
and who fucks the best we got. I gotta find
(22:24):
me a Cuban. I know a Cuban. I'm going to
write him an email and ask if he's got a
pearl on his dick. Seriously, I want to know if
this is real. That's, of course, if he has access
to the internet currently, which he may not. So, oh,
is he Thereuban sandwich right now? Which is which is
not a thing, by the way, it's not that's a
it's a there is no. We put fucking mannaise and
(22:51):
sushi and they're like held on cream cheese. They're like that.
They don't like us for that. We gotta make everything
fat or even sushi. That's a conversation for another day.
But you know, a few years ago I did go
to Cuba. I've always wanted to go. I don't think
you can go. You know, then it was open. Now
I don't think it's open. I don't know, truly. One
of the most i opening conversations I've ever had with
(23:14):
any human in my life was talking to two Cuban
men in Cuba about what we have here and what
they have there, and not necessarily even what they consider
to be less than us. They just are blown the
fuck away by all of it. What you can say,
I mean, talk to these guys about taxes. They think
(23:34):
we're getting they think we're getting screwed. It's wild, Like
the look on their faces. The guys like, you want
a gun? Like my family we probably owned fifty. He
almost fell out of his chair. Fifty guns. He was like,
why what are you gonna do with that? Yeah, this
guy told me, He goes, we're not allowed to own
guns unless you're a member of a gun club, like
(23:56):
a sporting club. But you have to have a gun
to join the gun club. So figure that one out. Yeah,
you can't own a gun unless you remember of the
gun club, but you can't join the club unless you
have a gun. So how you gonna get it worked
that one out? Somehow? I don't. I mean it goes
on and on. Well here they want you to have
experience to get a job, but you can't get experience
(24:19):
without having a job, true, I mean, like taxes. A
guy's like, because he's telling me, you know, everything's quote
unquote free, but like kind of sort of like you know,
I asked him, like if you really needed brain surgery,
could you get it? He's like, eventually I would get
brain surgery. It would take a long time. It's very bureaucratic,
but eventually I would get it and it would be free.
(24:40):
If I got it, and it would be he said.
He told me that he thought it would be high quality.
And he said, you would be surprised at the number
of of of American doctor's practicing in the United States
who who were trained in Cuba. I guess you know,
it's not that the education system is bad, it's just
it's different. Um. But he's would some about taxes. They
(25:00):
don't they don't pay taxes. They also don't have a lot.
But um, he's like what te tell them about taxes? Like, wow,
income tax? It's like, what is that like? But well,
half my money goes to the government. Well, what do
you get for that? I mean, you gotta like truly,
these guys weren't mesmerized by this. What do you get
by What do you get for that? Well, you know,
(25:23):
I don't know, military government, uh, police, you know, freedom
of speech, prisons, criminal justice and okay, is it so
that's it? Well no, no, there's property tax. So you
pay a tax on your house every year. Yeah, okay,
what do you get for that? Well? Police, streets. Okay,
(25:45):
so that'sh it right, Well no, no. Then there's healthcare Okay, okay,
what do you get for that? Well, you get part
of your healthcare paid for. Well, then is that it? No?
I go no, there's sales tax, like like what's that?
Like ten percent thing you buy? You get it? Well,
what do you get for that? Police streets and these
guys are just like you're the right one to ask,
(26:07):
because I'd be like, that's a ton of money, Like
what are you doing? Yeah, I have no idea. So anyway,
there you go. There's the tangent. Thanks for listening.
All right, lots uh lots to catch up on here
(00:02):
in the tangent, let's do it. It's the tangent with
the FDA we couldn't talk about on air morning. Everybody welcome.
Rufia wants to change his hair and you're married to
a hairstylist and she won't do it. Doesn't that tell
you something? I mean, if she's a very talented hairstylist.
And I'm not just saying that because she's your wife,
(00:24):
I'm saying that because it's true, and she doesn't want
to do it, So doesn't that mean something to you?
I think she doesn't want to do it because it's
a process and I am not paying for this price.
And it's not like she could do it at home.
We'd have to do it at her work, and you
know she's busy and it have to be doing like
her off time is we you know, yeah, she still
(00:47):
have to we'd still have to pay for it, but
like obviously not the regular price. Correct. But she's gonna
be you were talking off the air, but she's gonna
be pissed if you were to go and pay somebody
else to do it. No, I would saying I was
saying I would book an appointment with her like a customer, like, hey,
this is what I want. I am the customer that
is paying. So you want a PERM yes, And she doesn't.
(01:10):
She's had a post it a look she doesn't want
doesn't want to do it, or she's supposed too. She
thinks I won't like it, Like I'm trying to go
for this style, you know, like the young kids nowadays,
they just look like messy and dishevel yes, the Jack
Harlow look, you know, like I don't have a great
thank you, thank you, I weirdly do. I don't have
like the natural Like it's my hairs somewhat kind of wavy,
(01:33):
but it's not like curly. And she's like, you don't
understand how curly hair works. And I'm like, I'm just
like I just wanted to like wake up and just
look like a mop on top of my head, you know,
just curly whatever style. Yeah, I just wanted to be
messy and just you know, and just be out there
with the perm. Well, how long will it last if
you don't like it? I don't know how long is
(01:54):
your hair grows? You know what I mean? Like yours
to bed like it doesn't just fall out after a while.
I don't think so. No. I think it's just like
your new growth, which isn't curly, will come through, so
I could take a while. Yeah, she's like you have
too much hair for her. It's an excuse after an excuse,
you know what I'm saying. China looks prochantastic out, just
(02:18):
trying to like have the truck her head, you know
when I'm just kidding, but I know, just chasing these trends, man. Yeah,
And I feel like I could pull it off, like
I don't know, like I have the confidence to pull
it off. Like you can pull off a lot of stuff.
I will say, you can pull off the clothing that
a lot of people I know can't. Most people I
know can't. You could pull it off. Yeah, she just won't.
She just won't do it. It's just, you know, I understand,
(02:40):
like obviously that's a service that's not cheap, you know,
and it's a it's a process and we'd have to
you know, put the things in the rollers and all
this stuff. And it's just I understand where she's coming from.
But she just tries it. She just talks me out
of it every time. Yeah, you know what they'll two like.
They say, like you always want you can't have so
growing up with curly hair, I always want it straight hair,
like I mean, like the straightest hair in the world. Yeah,
(03:02):
but you know, if I was to have that, I
know it would drive me crazy because then I couldn't
style it curly or have my natural curls. So are
you sure that's what you want to do for the
time being. Yes, She's like, well, you can't put in
like the pompadoor anymore. So it's like, that's that's a
you know whatever. But I just wanted to be like
a curly mop on my head. I support this, and
please don't take it the wrong way, but I sometimes
(03:22):
feel like your hair is still in the two thousands,
and I don't really mean I love this, doesn't really mean,
but not in a bad way, because I'm in the
two thousands as well. I haven't seen the way I address.
But the only thing I want to say is like,
I think that'd be a really cool new look for you,
especially because it is in. But I think I can
see it on you too. Thank you, And that's like
hard to pull off, and you can pull it off right, No, Okay, well,
there you go too, because oh I love Rufio, I
(03:47):
love his hair, but it is two thousands. Let's it's
it's a like to I don't. I don't. I don't
put in the pompadoor a lot, like just when I
have a bit like like today, like it's just like
this is the way it is. I don't fix it day,
but then it is a process when I do have
to fix it, you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah,
you're tired, Ryan, if it's if it's too long, it
doesn't sit right, if it's you know, it's I just
(04:09):
I just give up on it. So I just want
to have a style where I don't have to do anything,
Like I understand I would have to do something if
I had curly hair whatever, like you still have to
manage it. But I feel like it'd be a lot
easier than the then fixing the pompadour every day. So
we're talking on the show today about the world's Best lovers,
and I still don't know what the source of this
is because I kind of dispute I know who tested it.
(04:31):
I feel like Scottish people did it, because I kind
of dispute this to be honest with it. Not that
I have the perspective to know. I've never been with
the Scottish person, but apparently they're the best to get with.
It doesn't specify men or women. I think it's both. Well,
I think it's both. Yeah, they topped. Scottish people topped
to poll of people asked to rate vacation flings they
had in other countries. Oh so maybe it's not Scottish
(04:56):
people then maybe I don't know, but Scotland on vacation, yes,
but not a Scottish person. Um Scotland and Italy, France, England, Spain, America, Portugal, Ireland, Sweden, Wales.
I feel like nobody from out of the country is
in a big hurry to fucking American Like, you don't
(05:17):
you don't hear about you know a lot of folks
coming from out of town being like, oh, I really
hope I get laid on this trip, you know here
in Columbus, Ohio or whatever I mean. I hear. I
hear sometimes like women will say, like British women like
I feel like some people want Americans. I don't know why,
but what is American? Though? Like you know what I mean,
people who live here. I guess like people who maybe
we're born here, but there's like different Okay, think about
(05:38):
the coast we just talked about, right, So like the
New Yorkers, like, do you want a California boy? Do
you want to you know, the southern boy. I don't
think they get that into it. I think they just
want someone who's like American with the accent, you know
what I mean, because it's foreign to them. I mean,
we don't want that because we're here. But I already
know what you're gonna say, Paulina. It's gonna be Latin
oriented Mexican. I mean, it's what you're gonna say. He's Mexican, right,
(06:00):
your boyfriend, So you're gonna say that it's not You're
gonna ask you, um, But for the rest of you,
is there a particular region that you have had more
success or more pleasure, more happiness as a result of
the hookup. I feel hesitant to say like one is
(06:21):
the best, just because like I don't know that I've
had a big enough sample size of like each to
say that. I will say my best sex was with
a black guy, but I don't think that that the
current black guy. No, there's not a current I thought
there was. It's not a thing, it's but I would
say that was my best sex. Okay, yeah, trying to
(06:41):
call her out friend, I thought you said that though.
I thought that was at one point. Yeah, but he's gone,
we're done with him. It's we're chilling. I'm single. Oh
I see, Okay, all right? Um rufio are you gonna
you don't want to get involved in it? I mean
I've been I've only been with white girls, yes, and
which hair color. I feel like each one of them
(07:02):
has had an Italian like it's you know, there a
lot of them are like Italian mixed with somebody something else.
So I don't know how you do Yeah, um, that's yeah.
I don't have you know, I don't feel like I
can say enough, like I just have like my best
sex and then yeah, man, it's tough. I would say
(07:23):
I've had good and bad across the board, but I
would say Latin and Asian are up there. Uh. And
I can't really necessarily say why I think I've been
and I don't know. I don't want to say anything
that gets me in trouble. But maybe I don't know why.
I'm not sure. Maybe there's a more of a desire
to please. Culturally, I don't know. I really don't know.
(07:43):
But then again, I can think of other examples that
were pretty good too, So I don't I'm not sure,
but I am the United Nations. I uh yeah, I
don't discriminate. I really just I like what I like
when I like it, What is that clothing? Whatever? That's me.
I'm Oshkoshbagush. I don't know why I said that. I don't.
(08:06):
Guys in Swain were hot, but I didn't hook up.
I was in a relationship when I was living there,
so unfortunately for me, and I will also I will
say to that point, when I travel abroad, there's not
much of a rush to get with Americans from locals
where I go. I really haven't been anywhere where there's
anybody going, you know, like like I do think unfortunately
Americans have. There's just a general bad stigma about us
(08:29):
that we're that we're not culture, that we're naive, that
we're Especially when Trump was in office, it was like, really,
that's your president, Like it was like he represented all
of us. I don't know if you experiences, but I
will say whatever I go to the islands of any
sort the men fucking love me. I don't know why.
My sister's like, oh god, here's another guy like Turks
and Barbados, like I don't know what, like they might
just not see women or that look like me. I
(08:51):
don't know, but it's like it's now, it's like a
family joke. You're an island and I would be fine.
I mean, I think I'm high guys over there, So
what's up? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm just like
so maybe all six five, two hundred forty pounds of me,
two hundred and fifty pounds of this American red meat.
Maybe I just scream everything that might be not good.
(09:15):
I know you're American until you open your mouth. Like
I've been places where they thought they try to speak
the language to me, and then I'm like, no, I do.
I just I think there's a For as long as
I can remember, there's been this distigma that that we're assholes,
and it's not depends on where you go most places
I've been, unfortunately really, I mean, I know France like
(09:36):
hates us, but like the Irish people, they love us.
I had a good experience in Ireland, but again I
will say that the Trump thing was tough, and I'm
not I'm not shooting on doing whatever you whatever your
belief are. You know, some people think that he did
a lot of good. I mean whatever, whatever your political view,
but he was outspoken and in a way that most
world leaders are not. And it didn't necessarily always make
(09:58):
everybody happy across the world. But they have to know
that it wouldn't be your own personal fault. Like I
don't know, I've never been somewhere where they like held
it against me, like out of the country, Well, I
definitely have. I mean they're like, so, what's the deal
with this insane Trump guy? But like they don't like
hold you personally rightly, and by the way, a lot
of them, I mean there were people who didn't like
a lot of other political leaders too, But I do
think that that that kind of sets the tone because
(10:20):
it's like, this is who you voted for, you think,
all right. I mean I went to school in England
twenty years ago and I think Bush was the president
at the time he was, and I don't know, I
mean at the time, people didn't really I don't know
that I was at a pretty progressive school, but yeah,
people weren't necessarily, they didn't necessarily expect a whole lot
from us as Americans, and I think they were surprised
(10:43):
that most of us were open minded and wanted to
learn from them. The real problem is, I feel like
Americans typically and I'm not crabbing on our country, I'm
really not, But I think we just expect, because we're
the biggest and strongest and wealthiest or whatever, that when
we go places that people are going to just that
we don't have to try. You know, I see it
all the time. It's like when I'm traveling and it's
(11:03):
like everyone doesn't speak English? What do you mean? You know?
And I don't know, everyone's not it will say when
I travel abroad, I overcompensate to try to like stigmatize us,
like I try if I can to speak any order
in that language, or you know, be over accommodating, because
I do hate that they expect that you fucking know
English and when you're you know, halfway across the world,
or like why don't why don't more people? And seriously,
(11:25):
people are gonna at me for this, but it's like
why why don't Why don't other countries said, why don't
they have our culture? Why don't they serve food and
do things like we do. It's like, well, because that's
the point, you know, for me, that's the point of
going somewhere else, is that I want to I want
to know how you do it. I don't want you
to do it how I do it. Like my aunt
moved to Argentina and for a long time she you know,
(11:46):
she didn't she didn't speak that form of Spanish um,
and she didn't speak any Spanish actually, and so she
to this day like doesn't She's lived there for ten
years but doesn't know everything. She's really good. But she'll
go some places and I'll see her and they'll start
to talk to her in English and she'll have to
tell them, no, don't talk to I want you to
speak to me in Spanish because I'm trying to learn,
(12:08):
because I'm trying to become fluent um. And it's just like,
but people just automatically I feel like, well, you're not
you know, you speak English, so you're probably not going
to try. And it's like no, no, no, you have
to remind folks like, no, I want to try. Yeah,
and I don't. I don't know that other parts of
the they do that for other parts of the world.
I think sometimes we can be a little stuffy for sure,
(12:28):
that I try. I'm like going above and beyond to
try to not be like that whenever I'm out of
the country, just because I feel so bad that that's
the stereotype. Yeah, I feel like a lot of countries
people at around the world think we're like the like
the frat house of the world. You know what I'm saying, Like,
you know, like we just party in this Yeah. Yeah,
I take all their holidays and turn them into drinking holidays.
(12:50):
Like it's like even the Irish people, like they don't
do Saint Patties like we do. Like the Americans just
come out here and and I see like other things too.
This is like, especially like the presidential stuff's like, oh,
that's you guys pick a new president every this. And
you know, I'm saying, you guys don't have a queen.
You know what I'm saying, You guys don't have free healthcare.
There's queen. Her name is Jason Brown. Yeah, that's true.
(13:13):
That's the only queen we recognize. No, I'm super proud
to be an American and I this is certainly all
the liberties that we have living in this country that
no one should take for granted. They're so rare. That
being said, I do think that per capita we could
represent we could represent ourselves better abroad. Yeah, And I think,
you know, oftentimes there is a generalization about what we're
(13:35):
going to be before we show up because of other
people's experience. When I was in Turks, they were talking
about how um, you know, because in other places, like
some places you don't tip, some places they don't place
like speed, you know, as an importance. And you know
over there it's island time. They want to relax, they
want to talk to people, and they one guy in
particular was telling me some New Yorkers were like banging
(13:57):
on the bar and you know, demanding fast or service,
and that's just so embarrassing to me. And they're like,
we don't care who you are. Like when Bieber was here,
we didn't treat them different. We don't care we're doing
things slow or like in Spain, you know, you don't
get the bill for four hours because they don't work
for tips. You'll find your waiters smoking a sig in
the back. It's like because they don't place an emphasis
on like getting through things fast, and I've seen so
(14:18):
many Americans like bitch about the service, and it's like,
try to open your mind that that's not how they
do things there, you know what I mean, Like, what
would be so bad about taking longer at dinner? You
know what I mean. I think it happens. It happens
within countries. It certainly happens within our country too. I mean,
I think that there are people who assume, sadly that
(14:39):
people because of their skin color, or gender or background
are they just assume that you're going to feel a
certain kind of way, or that the words coming out
of your mouth they come from a certain place or whatever.
I think that a lot of people generalize. I think
people generalize about us abroad. I think we generalize about people.
I think people generalize about each other within our own country,
and it's kind of sad as um. I sometimes wonder,
(15:03):
you know, how much how much divide there really is.
I mean, there's certainly are some shitty people out there
who believe some really crazy shit. But at the end
of the day, like and I hate saying that, but
when you when you sort of boil it all down,
I feel like if you were in a room of
a lot of different people who all had common sense.
I feel like we all kind of want the same
kind of thing. Um, but you wouldn't know it. You
(15:25):
wouldn't know it in the way that people relate with
each other these days. So basically just like bang every nationality. Yeah,
that should be added to our just get back. Yeah,
so we were actually, um, we were actually sort of
making sure we had from the from the wedded, the
Bill of Rights. Yeah. Yeah, the Friends show Bill of Rice. Um,
(15:47):
So it's it's cheat responsible, chat responsibly. Always always give
it up up to the military. Never trust the fart,
Never trust a fart. No, you gotta show people your butthole.
Are you gotta be willing to show people? Yes, you
got to be willing to because that was a tang.
And you can't reason with reptiles and birds. You can't.
(16:09):
You can't. You cannot reason with a reptile. Calin I'm sorry.
I love snakes, but you can't reason with one. I
don't think you can't reason with a bear, but you
think I know I can't. I absolutely can't with honey
every time, every single time. Yeah, yeah, no problem, I
just take my pants off. That looked like him. Because
you know they only wear shirts. Oh then yeah, they
only wear shirts, they don't wear pants. And then you
(16:30):
got to give him some honey, and then it's fine.
But what snake are you gonna do? I'm gonna put
you klin in a room with a venomous python. I
love snakes, and I'm gonna see. I'm gonna see you reason.
You gonna come out. I don't know how you're gonna
organize this, but I'll find one. They smell at their tongues. Yeah, well,
I'm gonna I'm gonna see if you can reason with
this venomous I was the weirdo like field trips, who
(16:51):
was like, can I hold the big like banana pipes? Like?
I was always the field trip kid who was like,
I think she thought she's got a better chance with
a venomous snake in a room than you do with
a bear. Do you say that? But I could reason.
I know just what to do all of them. I
know just what to do. Give him honey, and even
scratch their little heads and their bellies, rub their bell
(17:14):
rub their bellies. That's what you gotta do. Yeah, I
can reason with the bear. I can't reason with the snake.
I have a better chance of I have a better
chance of reasoning with a bear than a snake. I'll
say that that's a fact. Okay, let's try. Okay, both
believe that both will probably wind up killing me. But
I think I have a better chance because I don't
(17:35):
think a snake is like, snake's not looking at you,
trying to talk to you, trying to like, I don't
know what the hell snakes trying to do. Yeah, because
the snake, even if you stay still, like, the snake
will try to wrap you up if he'd wanted to.
You know what I'm saying. Like a bear was it
if it's brown, laid down? If I play dad, dumbass,
snake is still gonna bite me. Yess not what you do.
(17:59):
And some bears you you run away because you don't
know what the hell it's gonna do. That's my point.
You think you I don't know a bear, if you
play dead, you might not die. You might not die
for sure, And with a snake you might not die either.
I could reason with the bird too if I played.
If I come across a snake and it's pissed, okay,
it's pissed it You're always out in the woods and
(18:19):
it's decided that it's pissed. A rattlesnake, for example, stop, no, no,
If I just go drop to the floor, it's gonna
bite this shit out of me. It absolutely is stupid.
Why would you do that? Well, I'm not gonna run
away either, because it's gonna do bite me anybody. I'm
rude too. If you just one one bite could be dangerous,
could be venomous. You could die, you know, you could
(18:39):
get attacked by a baron, still survive. Yeah, I think
I could reason with all animals. Whatever. Okay, that's that's
a wild that's a hot take. That's a wild take. Yeah,
but I'm glad. I'm okay, I'm glad to know you.
So next time, next time the forest, I guess we're
gonna live. Thanks a lion a lion. Yeah, okay, Oh yeah.
(19:00):
Matthew McConaughey got he was on what is he on? Ayahuasca?
He got in that cage with that line. He said
he had that bitch purr it in his lap. Yeah,
there you go. I said it took him like eight
hours because he had to slowly get in there. I'm
with you on a lot of this, but not a
snake or a spider. Oh, alligator, alligator straight New Orleans. No, No,
(19:29):
I can't reason with an alligator. Nah. Once it's made up,
it's mine. You're you're gonna, You're gone. Yeah, I don't
care fast too, man, I don't care about this whole.
Apparently there's some physics where you know, that's how these
guys get their heads in it, because they can lock
their jaws somehow, or or they trick them. There's the
reason that hit him on the nose. There's a reason
that guys were able to put their heads in the
(19:50):
mouth and they won't open, they won't close their mouth.
Something to do with the with the physiology testing that though. No, No,
if I know, if I if I'm in the midst,
if an alligators in my midst or a crocodile, I'm out.
And then farm animals I can reason with all of them.
Love them. I told you the last time I was
like on a farm was in Ireland. I stayed on
(20:13):
a farm. I rented this guy's house with my dad.
I took him on that Ireland trip a couple of
years ago, and I rented a house on a farm.
I didn't know that in Dulin, Ireland, which amazing place,
and the guy had sheep I think he had cows,
cow maybe, and the guy that owned the place, and
they would like wander around and I go, hey, dude,
you know, proprietor of the house. So I go, hey,
(20:34):
can I get one of them over here? I want
to pet them? And he goes, they're not pets, Dude, like,
we're gonna eat them. And I'm and they know it.
I'm like, what do you mean you say I can't
walk over there to the cow or the thing. I'm
just pet He's like, you can try, but I don't
recommend it. Of course he was saying this in an
Irish accent. Yeah, I'm a minority like you. I probably
made you think that it's normal to want to go
(20:55):
up in touch a car. No, I would try. I
wanted to. I wanted to pet the animals. And I
think that's what he said. It's like, dude, if you
if you go over there, one of them is going
to stand off against you and the other ones are
gonna run. And I don't. I'm not helping you. I'm like, okay, yeah,
I don't think a lot of people want to go
pack but I did. Yeah, yeah, I mean they're really sweet,
they're very I want to pet all the animal I
(21:16):
love all the animals except for except for a spider
and a crocodile, bird, alligator. Yeah, birds. I don't know
about a bird either. No, I don't know about a bird.
I don't know about a bird. I don't know Chase
my duck. One time. I didn't mean to. I wish
I could see that. I couldn't reason with it. I'm like, dude,
(21:38):
I wasn't trying to. He didn't care or she the
mom was around, wasn't she. Yeah, I guess I was
close to the little ducklings. Well I get it too,
but I didn't mean to. Well she didn't know that,
that's my point. But I could not reason with her.
Coming for your babies. I tried that. No you didn't.
You ran scream like a little girl. We didn't really
(22:02):
need that part, But yeah, I probably did. And this
wasn't but maybe six months ago, so I was a kid.
I was yet, all right, that's it. That was very wild.
We've talked about race relations, we talked about global relations,
we talked about animals that we can reason with um
and who fucks the best we got. I gotta find
(22:24):
me a Cuban. I know a Cuban. I'm going to
write him an email and ask if he's got a
pearl on his dick. Seriously, I want to know if
this is real. That's, of course, if he has access
to the internet currently, which he may not. So, oh,
is he Thereuban sandwich right now? Which is which is
not a thing, by the way, it's not that's a
it's a there is no. We put fucking mannaise and
(22:51):
sushi and they're like held on cream cheese. They're like that.
They don't like us for that. We gotta make everything
fat or even sushi. That's a conversation for another day.
But you know, a few years ago I did go
to Cuba. I've always wanted to go. I don't think
you can go. You know, then it was open. Now
I don't think it's open. I don't know, truly. One
of the most i opening conversations I've ever had with
(23:14):
any human in my life was talking to two Cuban
men in Cuba about what we have here and what
they have there, and not necessarily even what they consider
to be less than us. They just are blown the
fuck away by all of it. What you can say,
I mean, talk to these guys about taxes. They think
(23:34):
we're getting they think we're getting screwed. It's wild, Like
the look on their faces. The guys like, you want
a gun? Like my family we probably owned fifty. He
almost fell out of his chair. Fifty guns. He was like,
why what are you gonna do with that? Yeah, this
guy told me, He goes, we're not allowed to own
guns unless you're a member of a gun club, like
(23:56):
a sporting club. But you have to have a gun
to join the gun club. So figure that one out. Yeah,
you can't own a gun unless you remember of the
gun club, but you can't join the club unless you
have a gun. So how you gonna get it worked
that one out? Somehow? I don't. I mean it goes
on and on. Well here they want you to have
experience to get a job, but you can't get experience
(24:19):
without having a job, true, I mean, like taxes. A
guy's like, because he's telling me, you know, everything's quote
unquote free, but like kind of sort of like you know,
I asked him, like if you really needed brain surgery,
could you get it? He's like, eventually I would get
brain surgery. It would take a long time. It's very bureaucratic,
but eventually I would get it and it would be free.
(24:40):
If I got it, and it would be he said.
He told me that he thought it would be high quality.
And he said, you would be surprised at the number
of of of American doctor's practicing in the United States
who who were trained in Cuba. I guess you know,
it's not that the education system is bad, it's just
it's different. Um. But he's would some about taxes. They
(25:00):
don't they don't pay taxes. They also don't have a lot.
But um, he's like what te tell them about taxes? Like, wow,
income tax? It's like, what is that like? But well,
half my money goes to the government. Well, what do
you get for that? I mean, you gotta like truly,
these guys weren't mesmerized by this. What do you get
by What do you get for that? Well, you know,
(25:23):
I don't know, military government, uh, police, you know, freedom
of speech, prisons, criminal justice and okay, is it so
that's it? Well no, no, there's property tax. So you
pay a tax on your house every year. Yeah, okay,
what do you get for that? Well? Police, streets. Okay,
(25:45):
so that'sh it right, Well no, no. Then there's healthcare Okay, okay,
what do you get for that? Well, you get part
of your healthcare paid for. Well, then is that it? No?
I go no, there's sales tax, like like what's that?
Like ten percent thing you buy? You get it? Well,
what do you get for that? Police streets and these
guys are just like you're the right one to ask,
(26:07):
because I'd be like, that's a ton of money, Like
what are you doing? Yeah, I have no idea. So anyway,
there you go. There's the tangent. Thanks for listening.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast
Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.