March 8, 2024 • 9 mins
Derek and Maggie met at a friend's wedding recently and got her number. The following week he asked her if she wanted to get dinner and was super pumped when she said yes. He says they had such a great first date that he knew he liked her right away! They hung out once more when he invited her over and cooked for her. He thought two strong hangouts would lead to more but after the second, she disappeared. Listen to find out why Derek got ghosted!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Ever been a lass of waiting bythe phone. It's the Fred Show.
Hey, Derek, good morning,welcome to the program. How are you.
I'm doing all right? How areyou doing? Hey, we're doing
okay. Let's hear about Maggie.So we're trying to figure out if you've
been ghosted? How did you meetMaggie? And then I sort of give
us a step by step about anydays that you've been on and kind of
where things are now, just thebackstory. We got to know everything,
(00:24):
Yeah, for sure. So Imet her at a friend's wedding and it's
a great place to meet someone.We kind of hit it off, and
I got her number. In thefollowing week, I just asked if she
wanted to go to dinner and shesaid yes. I was very excited,
so, you know, I plannedout the whole dinner and we had a
great time, such a good timethat I asked her on another date and
(00:51):
she said yes again. I wascontinually excited. You know, I thought
things were going really well. Iinvited her to my place this time,
cooked for her. You know,I listened and to the things she told
me, and oh, you listen, I listen to this guy he cooked
me and he listened. Yeah,yeah, I mean, like, you
(01:11):
know, she just mentioned the movieand like I had the movie and just
things and it went really well,and then I don't know what happened.
She just disappeared after that second date. I honestly have no idea what happened.
And I just feel like I've beenhappening a lot of bad luck with
dating lately, and I just Ireally want to know what happened. Yeah,
(01:33):
it can be frustrating, and soyou want to know what happened to
this woman? Two dates and thenshe disappears, and it's like why,
you know what. Maybe it's somethingthat we can fix. I don't know,
So we'll try and call Maggie.You'll be on the phone at the
same time. Don't say anything rightat first, but at some point you're
welcome to jump in. And youknow, the hope here is that there's
a good explanation or something we canstraighten out and then set you guys up
on another date that we pay for. Sow good. Yeah, that would
be great. You've got to hearwhat happens next, trust me. Two
(01:57):
minutes away after Miguel on the FredShow, Yeah, a least have the
Freend Show. Good morning, thanksfor having us on the radio and the
iHeart app anytime search for The FredShow on demand. Hey, Derek,
welcome back. You there, Yeah, I'm here. Okay, let's call
this woman, Maggie. You guysmet at a wedding out in the wild
in person, which is a goodway to meet someone. You mentioned that,
but it's true. I mean inperson in general is a good way
(02:17):
to meet somebody because you know whatyou're dealing with as opposed to the apps.
It can be. You can't reallytake chemistry into account or whatever.
But you guys met on on acouple of dates. You thought they went
well. You thought you did agood job listening and planning these dates and
attending to her and all this stuff. But she has ghosted you, and
you want to know why. YesI do, I do. Early.
(02:38):
Okay, well, let's call hernow. Good luck, Derek. Hello,
Hi is this Maggie? What?Hi? Maggie? Good morning?
My name is Fred. I'm callingfrom The Fred Show, the Morning radio
show, and I do have totell you that we are on the radio
right now and I would need yourpermission to continue with the call. Can
(03:00):
chat for just a second? Ohuh sure. I know it's a little
bit of strange, but thank youvery much, and you can hang out
at any time. I'm not sureif you've heard this before, but it's
called waiting by the phone, andI got him. Derek reached out to
us and said that you guys recentlymet at a wedding and went in a
couple of dates. You remember thisguy, Derek? Yeah, yeah,
I do, okay, So hetold us that he thought that, you
(03:21):
know, the dates went really wellbetween you two, and he really enjoyed
meeting you, and I was hopingto see you again. Except he can't
get a hold of you now.So what's going on? I mean,
to keep it short, I'm justreally not into him, okay, But
you went on two dates with him, so what happened? I mean,
I suppose, you know, ifyou weren't into him, maybe that that
comes out on the first date,But you went out on two dates,
(03:43):
So at what point were you nolonger into him? I mean, honestly,
I don't know why you catch wonall the details. It's not really
exciting or anything. It's just Ikind of just never got super into him.
I mean, there's got to bemore to the story though, because
here's the thing. This guy likedyou. He wanted to see you again.
You're not responding to him. Soif you tell us what's going on,
then we tell him, and thenyou know, everybody kind of wins.
(04:05):
Maybe you'll stop calling, hopefully,and then he gets his closure.
So what happened? Okay, allright, look, sweet guy whatever,
But he just gave me the ickhonestly, Like he was so nice that
it was too nice. It wasjust way too much for me, too
soon, Like way too nice.I mean that's kind of the best way
(04:27):
I can put it. Too nice. Yeah, what does that mean?
Too nice? Like what would youhave preferred that he like slapped in the
face or something. I mean,that's awful. What are you looking for?
I mean in certain settings? Butno, what are you looking for?
No? I mean just I mean, I hate to call it toxicity,
but like a red flag, likesomething some fire, some passion,
(04:48):
like something that got me excited abouthim. I mean, this guy was
like you want a red flag,I say, so him being not a
good guy in some way and generatinga red flag that turns you one.
Yeah, so much. I mean, it was just so much. It
was too much, too fast.We met at a wedding, like he
(05:10):
told you guys that, right,yeah right, So like, I mean,
you can only talk so much ata wedding. At dinner or whatever,
he was sweet, kind whatever,and then I like, in passing,
I had mentioned a restaurant that Iliked, literally thought nothing of it,
and so that's where he took mefor the first date. Oh how
damn, I know, I know, he totally should have taken you to
(05:32):
the exact opposite kind of restaurant.He should have been like, I hate
that place. I'll never take youthere, dummy. What he should have
said? Everybody knows. That tellme more? Then what happens? All
right? Listen for the second again, you guys have to remember that we
(05:53):
had just met, Like I thought, this was way more casual. But
this for the second date, numbertwo, he makes dinner from scratch,
make me a playlist based on musicthat I like, and then he's found
out my favorite movie and wrench unbelievable. What on earth are you thinking?
Derek? I forgot to mention that, Derek, this here, Derek,
(06:14):
I'm so forgetting Yeah, Derek,how dare you? How dare you be
thoughtful? And and respectful and agentleman. How dare you? I don't
know, are you serious, Maggie? It's too nice? Is that really
what you're saying? So you wouldhave rather that he had just sort of
disregarded everything that was important to you, you know, blown you off and
(06:39):
mean to you. Maybe he's acheater or something. That would have been
a nice, nice, little extrabonus for you. I mean, like,
what are you being serious? Likeyou you're thriving on the toxicity.
I mean, I'm being dead serious. I don't understand what's so confusing to
everyone, Like when someone is toonice, like you just can't get what's
the secret? See, here's thething. This is white. So it
(07:00):
can be difficult. And I'm notgoing to sit here and do the whole
it's hard to be a guy thingbecause it's not that hard. But in
Danny, it can be hard tobe a guy because you're dan if you
do and danned if you don't.If you're if you're too direct or you
don't say the right stuff to theright person, then you're a jackass.
And you know, you get labeledas one thing. If you're too nice,
too attentive, too thoughtful, ifyou try too hard, then well
you're trying too hard and that's notsexy. So and then women will tell
(07:25):
you, well I want this orI want that. But then we're supposed
to be brain mind readers, andwe're supposed to know which woman wants which
treatment. And in general, mostof our moms taught us to do sort
of what he's doing for the girlthat we like. And so I don't
really know how you expect a lotof guys to know what how to how
to operate right exactly. Yeah,you know what, Maggie, you said
(07:47):
you want some passion. Well here'ssome passion. I like being nice,
and I think other people like itwhen I'm nice, or normal people who
have self esteem at least, soyou can go be toxic with yourselves because
this is ridiculous. I mean,it is kind of crazy. I think
most people would rather default to anice treatment than bad, but not in
(08:09):
this case. I mean, there'sonly a couple of good ones left out
there. Girl, you date itlike what trust me? What you with
me? Like? Stood you upat a restaurant that you hate would have
been better? Make you pay?I would I would have been a little
toxic with you. I would haveI would have done you need it,
but I don't know it this way, And yeah, goodbye star listening.
(08:30):
Yeah to this show and listen toall of our other dating story Yeah,
and then come back and tell meI would have been a little toxic with
you. No, come on,No, you don't change for anybody.
No, Maggie, I'm sorry,but this is kind of crazy. It's
real crazy. I mean, youdon't like a guy because he tried too
hard. I say it's crazy.I don't think it's all that uncommon before
tried it hard, like he justlistened when she spoke, well, well
(08:56):
I did a couple of things thatshe flakes. I don't. I really
hope she finds what she's looking for. Oh, I think I really hope
here. You know, there arepeople out there who just love the chaos,
they love the drama, and whenthey don't have it, it's no
good. And I feel like Maggie, that's basically I mean, I guess
we're giving you a hard time becauseit sounds like Derek's a decent guy.
And Chapauline's point, we've heard ofa lot of guys in aren't and girls
(09:20):
at art, But I mean youare honest about it. I mean,
you like what you like. Iguess it's just kind of sad. You
gotta heal, girl. I'm doingpretty well without him. You know,
save our number. I'm pretty sureyou'll be calling back as the person that
gets ghosted next time. Oh yes, probably. I mean I remember you
all right. Well, Hey,Derek, I think you did the right
thing. I really do, andI think you should keep doing it.
(09:41):
And Maggie, I'm sorry that youdon't like it, but the best of
lucks of both of you.
Ever been a lass of waiting bythe phone. It's the Fred Show.
Hey, Derek, good morning,welcome to the program. How are you.
I'm doing all right? How areyou doing? Hey, we're doing
okay. Let's hear about Maggie.So we're trying to figure out if you've
been ghosted? How did you meetMaggie? And then I sort of give
us a step by step about anydays that you've been on and kind of
where things are now, just thebackstory. We got to know everything,
(00:24):
Yeah, for sure. So Imet her at a friend's wedding and it's
a great place to meet someone.We kind of hit it off, and
I got her number. In thefollowing week, I just asked if she
wanted to go to dinner and shesaid yes. I was very excited,
so, you know, I plannedout the whole dinner and we had a
great time, such a good timethat I asked her on another date and
(00:51):
she said yes again. I wascontinually excited. You know, I thought
things were going really well. Iinvited her to my place this time,
cooked for her. You know,I listened and to the things she told
me, and oh, you listen, I listen to this guy he cooked
me and he listened. Yeah,yeah, I mean, like, you
(01:11):
know, she just mentioned the movieand like I had the movie and just
things and it went really well,and then I don't know what happened.
She just disappeared after that second date. I honestly have no idea what happened.
And I just feel like I've beenhappening a lot of bad luck with
dating lately, and I just Ireally want to know what happened. Yeah,
(01:33):
it can be frustrating, and soyou want to know what happened to
this woman? Two dates and thenshe disappears, and it's like why,
you know what. Maybe it's somethingthat we can fix. I don't know,
So we'll try and call Maggie.You'll be on the phone at the
same time. Don't say anything rightat first, but at some point you're
welcome to jump in. And youknow, the hope here is that there's
a good explanation or something we canstraighten out and then set you guys up
on another date that we pay for. Sow good. Yeah, that would
be great. You've got to hearwhat happens next, trust me. Two
(01:57):
minutes away after Miguel on the FredShow, Yeah, a least have the
Freend Show. Good morning, thanksfor having us on the radio and the
iHeart app anytime search for The FredShow on demand. Hey, Derek,
welcome back. You there, Yeah, I'm here. Okay, let's call
this woman, Maggie. You guysmet at a wedding out in the wild
in person, which is a goodway to meet someone. You mentioned that,
but it's true. I mean inperson in general is a good way
(02:17):
to meet somebody because you know whatyou're dealing with as opposed to the apps.
It can be. You can't reallytake chemistry into account or whatever.
But you guys met on on acouple of dates. You thought they went
well. You thought you did agood job listening and planning these dates and
attending to her and all this stuff. But she has ghosted you, and
you want to know why. YesI do, I do. Early.
(02:38):
Okay, well, let's call hernow. Good luck, Derek. Hello,
Hi is this Maggie? What?Hi? Maggie? Good morning?
My name is Fred. I'm callingfrom The Fred Show, the Morning radio
show, and I do have totell you that we are on the radio
right now and I would need yourpermission to continue with the call. Can
(03:00):
chat for just a second? Ohuh sure. I know it's a little
bit of strange, but thank youvery much, and you can hang out
at any time. I'm not sureif you've heard this before, but it's
called waiting by the phone, andI got him. Derek reached out to
us and said that you guys recentlymet at a wedding and went in a
couple of dates. You remember thisguy, Derek? Yeah, yeah,
I do, okay, So hetold us that he thought that, you
(03:21):
know, the dates went really wellbetween you two, and he really enjoyed
meeting you, and I was hopingto see you again. Except he can't
get a hold of you now.So what's going on? I mean,
to keep it short, I'm justreally not into him, okay, But
you went on two dates with him, so what happened? I mean,
I suppose, you know, ifyou weren't into him, maybe that that
comes out on the first date,But you went out on two dates,
(03:43):
So at what point were you nolonger into him? I mean, honestly,
I don't know why you catch wonall the details. It's not really
exciting or anything. It's just Ikind of just never got super into him.
I mean, there's got to bemore to the story though, because
here's the thing. This guy likedyou. He wanted to see you again.
You're not responding to him. Soif you tell us what's going on,
then we tell him, and thenyou know, everybody kind of wins.
(04:05):
Maybe you'll stop calling, hopefully,and then he gets his closure.
So what happened? Okay, allright, look, sweet guy whatever,
But he just gave me the ickhonestly, Like he was so nice that
it was too nice. It wasjust way too much for me, too
soon, Like way too nice.I mean that's kind of the best way
(04:27):
I can put it. Too nice. Yeah, what does that mean?
Too nice? Like what would youhave preferred that he like slapped in the
face or something. I mean,that's awful. What are you looking for?
I mean in certain settings? Butno, what are you looking for?
No? I mean just I mean, I hate to call it toxicity,
but like a red flag, likesomething some fire, some passion,
(04:48):
like something that got me excited abouthim. I mean, this guy was
like you want a red flag,I say, so him being not a
good guy in some way and generatinga red flag that turns you one.
Yeah, so much. I mean, it was just so much. It
was too much, too fast.We met at a wedding, like he
(05:10):
told you guys that, right,yeah right, So like, I mean,
you can only talk so much ata wedding. At dinner or whatever,
he was sweet, kind whatever,and then I like, in passing,
I had mentioned a restaurant that Iliked, literally thought nothing of it,
and so that's where he took mefor the first date. Oh how
damn, I know, I know, he totally should have taken you to
(05:32):
the exact opposite kind of restaurant.He should have been like, I hate
that place. I'll never take youthere, dummy. What he should have
said? Everybody knows. That tellme more? Then what happens? All
right? Listen for the second again, you guys have to remember that we
(05:53):
had just met, Like I thought, this was way more casual. But
this for the second date, numbertwo, he makes dinner from scratch,
make me a playlist based on musicthat I like, and then he's found
out my favorite movie and wrench unbelievable. What on earth are you thinking?
Derek? I forgot to mention that, Derek, this here, Derek,
(06:14):
I'm so forgetting Yeah, Derek,how dare you? How dare you be
thoughtful? And and respectful and agentleman. How dare you? I don't
know, are you serious, Maggie? It's too nice? Is that really
what you're saying? So you wouldhave rather that he had just sort of
disregarded everything that was important to you, you know, blown you off and
(06:39):
mean to you. Maybe he's acheater or something. That would have been
a nice, nice, little extrabonus for you. I mean, like,
what are you being serious? Likeyou you're thriving on the toxicity.
I mean, I'm being dead serious. I don't understand what's so confusing to
everyone, Like when someone is toonice, like you just can't get what's
the secret? See, here's thething. This is white. So it
(07:00):
can be difficult. And I'm notgoing to sit here and do the whole
it's hard to be a guy thingbecause it's not that hard. But in
Danny, it can be hard tobe a guy because you're dan if you
do and danned if you don't.If you're if you're too direct or you
don't say the right stuff to theright person, then you're a jackass.
And you know, you get labeledas one thing. If you're too nice,
too attentive, too thoughtful, ifyou try too hard, then well
you're trying too hard and that's notsexy. So and then women will tell
(07:25):
you, well I want this orI want that. But then we're supposed
to be brain mind readers, andwe're supposed to know which woman wants which
treatment. And in general, mostof our moms taught us to do sort
of what he's doing for the girlthat we like. And so I don't
really know how you expect a lotof guys to know what how to how
to operate right exactly. Yeah,you know what, Maggie, you said
(07:47):
you want some passion. Well here'ssome passion. I like being nice,
and I think other people like itwhen I'm nice, or normal people who
have self esteem at least, soyou can go be toxic with yourselves because
this is ridiculous. I mean,it is kind of crazy. I think
most people would rather default to anice treatment than bad, but not in
(08:09):
this case. I mean, there'sonly a couple of good ones left out
there. Girl, you date itlike what trust me? What you with
me? Like? Stood you upat a restaurant that you hate would have
been better? Make you pay?I would I would have been a little
toxic with you. I would haveI would have done you need it,
but I don't know it this way, And yeah, goodbye star listening.
(08:30):
Yeah to this show and listen toall of our other dating story Yeah,
and then come back and tell meI would have been a little toxic with
you. No, come on,No, you don't change for anybody.
No, Maggie, I'm sorry,but this is kind of crazy. It's
real crazy. I mean, youdon't like a guy because he tried too
hard. I say it's crazy.I don't think it's all that uncommon before
tried it hard, like he justlistened when she spoke, well, well
(08:56):
I did a couple of things thatshe flakes. I don't. I really
hope she finds what she's looking for. Oh, I think I really hope
here. You know, there arepeople out there who just love the chaos,
they love the drama, and whenthey don't have it, it's no
good. And I feel like Maggie, that's basically I mean, I guess
we're giving you a hard time becauseit sounds like Derek's a decent guy.
And Chapauline's point, we've heard ofa lot of guys in aren't and girls
(09:20):
at art, But I mean youare honest about it. I mean,
you like what you like. Iguess it's just kind of sad. You
gotta heal, girl. I'm doingpretty well without him. You know,
save our number. I'm pretty sureyou'll be calling back as the person that
gets ghosted next time. Oh yes, probably. I mean I remember you
all right. Well, Hey,Derek, I think you did the right
thing. I really do, andI think you should keep doing it.
(09:41):
And Maggie, I'm sorry that youdon't like it, but the best of
lucks of both of you.
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