Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It's Carlson, Mackenzie and Heathers.All right, a lot of riots in
Newton. We were just talking withKenny about his editing skills this morning,
with one of our segments involving AndreAndre the Giant's massive shit over at the
garden. If you missed it,listen to our other podcast you'll you'll get
(00:24):
a kick out of that. Soall right, Uh, you're right in
a roll here. Places everybody.I always like to say places everybody.
Either, you're not directly in frontof your mic. Uh, this fart
is it's a fresh one. Igotta be honest. It's just it's a
little over twenty four hours old.Happened, Yes, happened yesterday. It's
(00:44):
still in the pants. Still inmy pants. It happened yesterday while out
in public with missus Carlson. Ohall right, so sit back and enjoy
doing a little carpet shopping here.But I'm feeling a little pressure as well.
Are you freaking kidding? Rodster?Playing on the pa in here?
Can we have asistance to the mattresses? Lace the mattresses? There's someone right
(01:15):
behind you. Okay, where arewe going? I'm going away from you,
alright, alright, so crop dustedthe mattress store. Did there seem
to be enough store noise for thepeople behind you not to hear it in
your mind? I didn't even thinkabout it. Matter been an empty store
(01:38):
aisle, and it's just like,okay, I'm in the clear, I
can sure, and like turn thecorner and there's like a family of three
four right there, right there.They're gonna walk into that cloud of filth,
and they're gonna know it was made. Always go to the middle of
the aisle of okay, Always inthe middle. Always look behind you and
walk away. You know what I'velearned though over my years. I'm a
season veteran at the grocery store oris. I'll go over where the eggs
(02:01):
are because that way, you know, if anybody questions, there's a problem,
right right, there's a bad egg. Hey, real quick, I
got something fart related. All right, you might have to put your robes
on. Let's see if these peoplewere properly compensated for their pain and suffering.
(02:21):
Let's take you to a couple that'straveling on a thirteen hour Singapore Airlines
flight from New Zealand. They're demandingrestitution after they got sat next year and
they paid premium economy seats whatever thatis, so they stayed in their premium
economy seats here. Well, thethird person in the row comes with an
emotional support dog. That's my worstfear is then I've got to sit next
(02:46):
to something and has to deal withyou know. So it's out, the
dog is out, and it startsbreathing and drooling on the husband's leg in
this case, so the dog.So when you bring a dog on a
because I've always been told has tostay in the crate. I have flown
with the tiny dog my aunts thatI brought back it when she passed away
and I wanted to. It wasjust a tiny little terrier like what are
(03:07):
they called Pomeranium. Yeah, theykind of looked like that, I don't
know, a tiny little dog.And they wouldn't let me take the dog
out and hold on my lap,like he had to stay in that container
unless you even if you even ifyou say that it's a support animal.
Oh I didn't say that. No, that's saying if you have a support
(03:30):
animal, it sounds like they canyou You're allowed to let them out and
let them climb all over you know, I put so I put my toes
in the kennel because I read thatif you want to keep a dog calm,
you put your toes in there.Open zipper a little bit. Oh,
I see, you stake your footin there to keep them calm.
Yeah. So the husband at firstit is like, well, the stew
dog is drooling on me. Apparentlyhe's not a dog person, and he's
(03:51):
like, look, I gotta sitnext to this thing for thirteen hours now.
No, Well, it gets worse. It gets worse because about halfway
through the flight, the dog startsripping ass. The dog starts farting,
like over and over again. Welland in that time and in that time
period, the dog is gonna haveto piss and ship and the elevation changes,
(04:12):
I mean, think about the altitude. It's probably fucking with the dog
system. So it gets extra gasall working against the dog, and the
dog starts lightening them up right,and so uh yeah, So the couple
they flip out and the guy's like, look, I don't know what are
they sing the airline. So theflight attendant comes over and she says,
well, we could move you furtherback to an economy seat, like in
(04:34):
the back row, and they're like, oh no, because they paid a
premium to be in like more legroomand that type of thing. Right,
So listen to this. At first, Singapore Air emails them back after their
flight, So they had to putup with this. Why didn't they move
the dog? They have to putup with this, this couple for over
two weeks before somebody from the airlinefinally responded, Because if they move the
(04:56):
dog, then what you're saying isthis person who's clearly got supposedly has an
issue. Yeah, you're basically saying, hey, you're you're you know you're
not okay, So we're going tomake matters worse by moving you do you
see what I'm saying? And that'snot going to The couple that was farted
on felt like, hey, wepaid a premium to be up here,
right. So after two weeks longstory short, Singapore Air finally gets back
(05:18):
to this couple and offers them aseventy four dollars gift voucher to the Singapore
Airlines website. There you go.So now because of that, now they're
they're going back. So I wouldsay, what, what's you're ruling on
this? What should they get agood thought. I mean, they're getting
their money back on the flight first, should be full refund right right now?
(05:41):
If they are they getting anything else? So they got to their destination,
what do you think? And maybeanother? Maybe another. It's hard
to say. I mean, youknow what you're getting into, right,
I mean, or don't you?You don't know? You don't know that
you could be sitting next to ananimal. That's you don't know if you're
sitting next you know someone's going tobe on October one next to me?
Right? Yeah? Yeah? Right? What if it was the guy that
was farting all along? That's interesting. What happens if it was a person
(06:04):
farting well up that we're blaming iton his dog had the diary all the
way down the aisle. Oh yeahright, I'm gonna say full refund on
the money and not cash, butan additional fifteen hundred dollars voucher. Can
we agree on that? I don'tnow. I'm just gonna say the flight
is free. Okay, you're notwearing a robe right now? Anything I
(06:27):
want the dogs shoot on the guy'sshoe, then maybe fifteen here's another question,
our happy ending mashup. It's ourpodcast contest that no one will get
No one will get this way,work hard at it if you want.
We put the lyrics to one songto another song's music. Heasy proof you're
saying. Kenny and I had ameeting prior to the program. I was
debriefed, okay, and so weagree that no one will get this all
(06:49):
right. If you think you canname the two songs, email me Kevin
at w clix dot com. Takea listen to Kenny, could you no
got the lyrics? Sorry? Right, two songs? Listen. Well,
it's late and I wallowed up.That's going to break me into you.
Don't you hang me up in yourjoy? Don't you hang me up like
(07:14):
you do? Come on, comeon, come on to do come on
and do what you do? Allright? Good luck? Music sounds very
seven seventies. Yeah, right,sounds like it should be very familiar that
music. Right, Let me justgive you a little little ta. Well,
(07:36):
it's late and I wallowed up.That's going to break me into you.
That's enough, all right. Ifyou think you know you no one's
gonna get it, and you knowyou can't, the pussy says that none
of you will get it. Provethe big fat pussy wrong word while you're
talking like that, but once againemail me wrong. All of a sudden,
(08:00):
out of the blue over here isthat should be the subject line this
week? Alright Kevin at WCLX dotcom again in the subject line proved that
was Carlson, Mackenzie and Heather's HappyEnding Listen every weekday morning five thirty to
ten for more on one hundred pointseven WCLX and I heard radio station
It's Carlson, Mackenzie and Heathers.All right, a lot of riots in
Newton. We were just talking withKenny about his editing skills this morning,
with one of our segments involving AndreAndre the Giant's massive shit over at the
garden. If you missed it,listen to our other podcast you'll you'll get
(00:24):
a kick out of that. Soall right, Uh, you're right in
a roll here. Places everybody.I always like to say places everybody.
Either, you're not directly in frontof your mic. Uh, this fart
is it's a fresh one. Igotta be honest. It's just it's a
little over twenty four hours old.Happened, Yes, happened yesterday. It's
(00:44):
still in the pants. Still inmy pants. It happened yesterday while out
in public with missus Carlson. Ohall right, so sit back and enjoy
doing a little carpet shopping here.But I'm feeling a little pressure as well.
Are you freaking kidding? Rodster?Playing on the pa in here?
Can we have asistance to the mattresses? Lace the mattresses? There's someone right
(01:15):
behind you. Okay, where arewe going? I'm going away from you,
alright, alright, so crop dustedthe mattress store. Did there seem
to be enough store noise for thepeople behind you not to hear it in
your mind? I didn't even thinkabout it. Matter been an empty store
(01:38):
aisle, and it's just like,okay, I'm in the clear, I
can sure, and like turn thecorner and there's like a family of three
four right there, right there.They're gonna walk into that cloud of filth,
and they're gonna know it was made. Always go to the middle of
the aisle of okay, Always inthe middle. Always look behind you and
walk away. You know what I'velearned though over my years. I'm a
season veteran at the grocery store oris. I'll go over where the eggs
(02:01):
are because that way, you know, if anybody questions, there's a problem,
right right, there's a bad egg. Hey, real quick, I
got something fart related. All right, you might have to put your robes
on. Let's see if these peoplewere properly compensated for their pain and suffering.
(02:21):
Let's take you to a couple that'straveling on a thirteen hour Singapore Airlines
flight from New Zealand. They're demandingrestitution after they got sat next year and
they paid premium economy seats whatever thatis, so they stayed in their premium
economy seats here. Well, thethird person in the row comes with an
emotional support dog. That's my worstfear is then I've got to sit next
(02:46):
to something and has to deal withyou know. So it's out, the
dog is out, and it startsbreathing and drooling on the husband's leg in
this case, so the dog.So when you bring a dog on a
because I've always been told has tostay in the crate. I have flown
with the tiny dog my aunts thatI brought back it when she passed away
and I wanted to. It wasjust a tiny little terrier like what are
(03:07):
they called Pomeranium. Yeah, theykind of looked like that, I don't
know, a tiny little dog.And they wouldn't let me take the dog
out and hold on my lap,like he had to stay in that container
unless you even if you even ifyou say that it's a support animal.
Oh I didn't say that. No, that's saying if you have a support
(03:30):
animal, it sounds like they canyou You're allowed to let them out and
let them climb all over you know, I put so I put my toes
in the kennel because I read thatif you want to keep a dog calm,
you put your toes in there.Open zipper a little bit. Oh,
I see, you stake your footin there to keep them calm.
Yeah. So the husband at firstit is like, well, the stew
dog is drooling on me. Apparentlyhe's not a dog person, and he's
(03:51):
like, look, I gotta sitnext to this thing for thirteen hours now.
No, Well, it gets worse. It gets worse because about halfway
through the flight, the dog startsripping ass. The dog starts farting,
like over and over again. Welland in that time and in that time
period, the dog is gonna haveto piss and ship and the elevation changes,
(04:12):
I mean, think about the altitude. It's probably fucking with the dog
system. So it gets extra gasall working against the dog, and the
dog starts lightening them up right,and so uh yeah, So the couple
they flip out and the guy's like, look, I don't know what are
they sing the airline. So theflight attendant comes over and she says,
well, we could move you furtherback to an economy seat, like in
(04:34):
the back row, and they're like, oh no, because they paid a
premium to be in like more legroomand that type of thing. Right,
So listen to this. At first, Singapore Air emails them back after their
flight, So they had to putup with this. Why didn't they move
the dog? They have to putup with this, this couple for over
two weeks before somebody from the airlinefinally responded, Because if they move the
(04:56):
dog, then what you're saying isthis person who's clearly got supposedly has an
issue. Yeah, you're basically saying, hey, you're you're you know you're
not okay, So we're going tomake matters worse by moving you do you
see what I'm saying? And that'snot going to The couple that was farted
on felt like, hey, wepaid a premium to be up here,
right. So after two weeks longstory short, Singapore Air finally gets back
(05:18):
to this couple and offers them aseventy four dollars gift voucher to the Singapore
Airlines website. There you go.So now because of that, now they're
they're going back. So I wouldsay, what, what's you're ruling on
this? What should they get agood thought. I mean, they're getting
their money back on the flight first, should be full refund right right now?
(05:41):
If they are they getting anything else? So they got to their destination,
what do you think? And maybeanother? Maybe another. It's hard
to say. I mean, youknow what you're getting into, right,
I mean, or don't you?You don't know? You don't know that
you could be sitting next to ananimal. That's you don't know if you're
sitting next you know someone's going tobe on October one next to me?
Right? Yeah? Yeah? Right? What if it was the guy that
was farting all along? That's interesting. What happens if it was a person
(06:04):
farting well up that we're blaming iton his dog had the diary all the
way down the aisle. Oh yeahright, I'm gonna say full refund on
the money and not cash, butan additional fifteen hundred dollars voucher. Can
we agree on that? I don'tnow. I'm just gonna say the flight
is free. Okay, you're notwearing a robe right now? Anything I
(06:27):
want the dogs shoot on the guy'sshoe, then maybe fifteen here's another question,
our happy ending mashup. It's ourpodcast contest that no one will get
No one will get this way,work hard at it if you want.
We put the lyrics to one songto another song's music. Heasy proof you're
saying. Kenny and I had ameeting prior to the program. I was
debriefed, okay, and so weagree that no one will get this all
(06:49):
right. If you think you canname the two songs, email me Kevin
at w clix dot com. Takea listen to Kenny, could you no
got the lyrics? Sorry? Right, two songs? Listen. Well,
it's late and I wallowed up.That's going to break me into you.
Don't you hang me up in yourjoy? Don't you hang me up like
(07:14):
you do? Come on, comeon, come on to do come on
and do what you do? Allright? Good luck? Music sounds very
seven seventies. Yeah, right,sounds like it should be very familiar that
music. Right, Let me justgive you a little little ta. Well,
(07:36):
it's late and I wallowed up.That's going to break me into you.
That's enough, all right. Ifyou think you know you no one's
gonna get it, and you knowyou can't, the pussy says that none
of you will get it. Provethe big fat pussy wrong word while you're
talking like that, but once againemail me wrong. All of a sudden,
(08:00):
out of the blue over here isthat should be the subject line this
week? Alright Kevin at WCLX dotcom again in the subject line proved that
was Carlson, Mackenzie and Heather's HappyEnding Listen every weekday morning five thirty to
ten for more on one hundred pointseven WCLX and I heard radio station
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