September 19, 2023 • 8 mins
That thermomerter: It's got a mind of its own.....
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
It's Carlson Mackenzie and alright, don'tthrow mercury in the trash, don't put
it in your ass. That's nothow the real one go. That's how
the jingles should go. Stick getin your ass. Did you ever have
your temperature taking rectily? Yes?Oh I gotta. I got a tattoo
(00:23):
back there that says exit only.Your mom never did that, never had
stuck something up here up the booty. Your mom ever did that to you?
Pete? I know you did thatto your kid, but did you
know I never did it to mykid. I give my kid a suppository.
Oh that's what it was. Yeah, I remember my mom taking my
temperature through my ass. You gottagive her a suppository. I'm like,
well, how do I do thatto demolish? She was an infant,
(00:46):
you know. I had to flipher over and put that suppository in.
That's how I went. Can itdin't like? I was like real nervous
about it, and I held itup up there. I held it up
to it and it took it outof my hand. Right, Yeah,
I guess it is. Yeah.I never thought we'd be talking about that
(01:07):
this morning. Your lives and Breeds. I don't know unless at some point
when I was out under, youknow, maybe a doctor shoved one up
my ass. But I don't knowof any time having a thermometer. I
had a thermometer, and I hadthe suppository. You've done, You've so
you never even had a suppository,not that I know. I'm I'm aware
of. All Right, let's uhspeaking asses, it's officially kickoff. Oh
(01:33):
yes, podcast here today. Ifthe fart to start the show is any
indication of how good this happy endingpodcast is going to be, starting to
feel like it's gonna be a prettygood one. In three two? Was
(01:56):
that one session a whole mess ofhim? You got like four different class
A yes emissions. Yeah, theywere. It's like everything like you threw
a chair down a set of stairs. Well, you know, if you
want the truth, it was onesession, but it was over a couple
of minutes which I just put together. It was one recording. Let's put
(02:22):
it that one session. Now you'veruined it for me because I thought that
maybe you had such variety, Wasn'tit weird? That is so weird?
How various? Which one is thatthe last one? Okay? That sounds
like like your current sounds like alittle or it's an old wooden door,
(02:50):
you know, like a ship store. You know, you get what you
get. I can't control my assout, but I like the ones that
they're screaming to get out. They'refighting to get out of right right,
he's choking them out, Like Ifind your ass has a lot to say,
Pete, It does, It does, speaks languages. It's more aggressive
than you are. It tries toform words like an animal mosaic of farts.
(03:17):
Yes, indeed, all right,where are we going here today?
Anybody chat about? It's a podcast? I mean, we can just sit
And I did find it interesting thisuh, this dude mal Tucker. He's
the head coach at Michigan State.Oh yeah, yeah yeah, so I
(03:38):
kind of forced to resign. He'sgot seven days to responders fucking guy's actual
misconduct. But what right? Yeah, So the story goes, this the
head coach of Michigan State football,which is big universities. You know,
it's not Michigan, but Michigan State'sa pretty good force. So this dude
signs this one hundred million dollars contrack. I mean it was a ten
(04:00):
year I think he's making nine tenmillion dollars a year. And so they
brought this woman in who is arape survivor, but she's also an activist,
like a sex abuse activist, totalk to the students. So this
guy, the head coach, theythese two I guess they sort of I'm
(04:20):
gonna say, are in a relationship, but they seem to be talking a
lot, like they become friends.Okay. And so this woman who works
with the team was on the phoneone night with Mel Tucker, the head
coach at Michigan State, and noticedthat he's jerking off while they're talking,
okay, And so she goes toyou know, the the university and and
(04:45):
says, hey, just so youknow this this and Mel Sang, the
head coach, is saying, look, we were involved in hot talk,
you know what I mean. He'sadmitting to that, and he's indmitting.
He's trying to say it was consent. Right, he's in admitting to jerking
off over the phone. First ofall, is it FaceTime it? First
of all, you deny, deny, deny. Okay, you have him
(05:08):
credit for admitting that he jerked off. He doesn't give a shit. Well,
I mean, does she have proofthat he was jerking off. I'm
saying what I'm saying, was ita video call, was it an audio
It was a phone call, phoneconversation. So that's the first mistake.
First mistake he made was admitting toit. But but he's he admitted to
doing it. But my thought is, isn't how is it that someone is
(05:33):
willing because now you know he'll befired and by the way, without compensation,
they're not going to get him.The're not gonna put a package together
and say, hey, we knowyou signed a hundred million dollars deal.
We're gonna give you twenty million andsend you on your way. He's not
getting anything now. The guy's probablyset for life anyways, because I think
he's on year two or year threeof that contract. But how do you
(05:54):
fuck Up's like earlier, earlier thismorning, we're talking about the flight attendant
who left the who put put thephone in the bathroom. I mean,
it's like saying, hey, Ithink I know my career is just about
over. Let me just throw thisin here to take it over the top.
That's like the Boston doctor who wascharged with jerking off in front of
(06:14):
a fourteen year old on that flightfrom Hawaiish. You think of what it
took to become a doctor. Thisguy's a well respected doctor. Year at
Beth Israel. Okay, a wellrespected doctor. What is going through your
head? You act like they're throwingaway common sense, Kevin. These people,
I mean, you know what,they don't have common sense. They're
(06:34):
they're sick. Shit, they're sick. They need help. You got a
guy that's making nine million dollars ayear. All you have to do is
fucking behave yourself and and be thebest coach you can be for your team.
I mean, you don't think hehas a track record of some kinds.
It's probably not public knowledge, buthe Sure this guy's got a track.
(06:55):
It doesn't sound like that was thefirst time he's done. Yeah,
Like the flight attendant, do youthink that was the first time? Right,
they put a phone up? Howare we able to function every day
without a fucking offending or sexually assaulting. It seems like it's because we get
up to our go home, weeat, we nap, we get up.
We're also I also like to thinkwe're halfway decent. Gen know what
(07:17):
I'm saying that we would wouldn't doit. To your point, too,
to like to get to that pointin life where you like you've you know,
you're successful, you're well respected,people know your work, you're helping
people, and then you just fuckingthrow it all away from it all the
way. It's not like they're flippinga switch, is what I'm saying.
They were doing this, yare It'sthere, right, it's there, and
(07:38):
you know, well, that's finallythey're finally caught. It's like like like
going back to Robert Kraft. Okay, what makes him go into a fucking
dirty massage parlor? When the guycould have one call, he could have
women coming to his place down there, No one would know. I mean
even this football coach nine million bucksa here, tell me you couldn't find
(08:01):
a couple of call girls to comevisit you doing it? Yeah? Under
the radar? Is it? Isit that maybe if there's that level of
the thrill of getting beyond a strangeror getting caught, oh fuck yeah,
maybe it's a service we could provide, you know, be smarter in the
way you become an an Tommy Smartfrom the start. That was Carlson,
(08:22):
Mackenzie and Heather's Happy Ending Listen everyweekday morning five thirty to ten for more
on one hundred point seven WCLX andI'm Free season
It's Carlson Mackenzie and alright, don'tthrow mercury in the trash, don't put
it in your ass. That's nothow the real one go. That's how
the jingles should go. Stick getin your ass. Did you ever have
your temperature taking rectily? Yes?Oh I gotta. I got a tattoo
(00:23):
back there that says exit only.Your mom never did that, never had
stuck something up here up the booty. Your mom ever did that to you?
Pete? I know you did thatto your kid, but did you
know I never did it to mykid. I give my kid a suppository.
Oh that's what it was. Yeah, I remember my mom taking my
temperature through my ass. You gottagive her a suppository. I'm like,
well, how do I do thatto demolish? She was an infant,
(00:46):
you know. I had to flipher over and put that suppository in.
That's how I went. Can itdin't like? I was like real nervous
about it, and I held itup up there. I held it up
to it and it took it outof my hand. Right, Yeah,
I guess it is. Yeah.I never thought we'd be talking about that
(01:07):
this morning. Your lives and Breeds. I don't know unless at some point
when I was out under, youknow, maybe a doctor shoved one up
my ass. But I don't knowof any time having a thermometer. I
had a thermometer, and I hadthe suppository. You've done, You've so
you never even had a suppository,not that I know. I'm I'm aware
of. All Right, let's uhspeaking asses, it's officially kickoff. Oh
(01:33):
yes, podcast here today. Ifthe fart to start the show is any
indication of how good this happy endingpodcast is going to be, starting to
feel like it's gonna be a prettygood one. In three two? Was
(01:56):
that one session a whole mess ofhim? You got like four different class
A yes emissions. Yeah, theywere. It's like everything like you threw
a chair down a set of stairs. Well, you know, if you
want the truth, it was onesession, but it was over a couple
of minutes which I just put together. It was one recording. Let's put
(02:22):
it that one session. Now you'veruined it for me because I thought that
maybe you had such variety, Wasn'tit weird? That is so weird?
How various? Which one is thatthe last one? Okay? That sounds
like like your current sounds like alittle or it's an old wooden door,
(02:50):
you know, like a ship store. You know, you get what you
get. I can't control my assout, but I like the ones that
they're screaming to get out. They'refighting to get out of right right,
he's choking them out, Like Ifind your ass has a lot to say,
Pete, It does, It does, speaks languages. It's more aggressive
than you are. It tries toform words like an animal mosaic of farts.
(03:17):
Yes, indeed, all right,where are we going here today?
Anybody chat about? It's a podcast? I mean, we can just sit
And I did find it interesting thisuh, this dude mal Tucker. He's
the head coach at Michigan State.Oh yeah, yeah yeah, so I
(03:38):
kind of forced to resign. He'sgot seven days to responders fucking guy's actual
misconduct. But what right? Yeah, So the story goes, this the
head coach of Michigan State football,which is big universities. You know,
it's not Michigan, but Michigan State'sa pretty good force. So this dude
signs this one hundred million dollars contrack. I mean it was a ten
(04:00):
year I think he's making nine tenmillion dollars a year. And so they
brought this woman in who is arape survivor, but she's also an activist,
like a sex abuse activist, totalk to the students. So this
guy, the head coach, theythese two I guess they sort of I'm
(04:20):
gonna say, are in a relationship, but they seem to be talking a
lot, like they become friends.Okay. And so this woman who works
with the team was on the phoneone night with Mel Tucker, the head
coach at Michigan State, and noticedthat he's jerking off while they're talking,
okay, And so she goes toyou know, the the university and and
(04:45):
says, hey, just so youknow this this and Mel Sang, the
head coach, is saying, look, we were involved in hot talk,
you know what I mean. He'sadmitting to that, and he's indmitting.
He's trying to say it was consent. Right, he's in admitting to jerking
off over the phone. First ofall, is it FaceTime it? First
of all, you deny, deny, deny. Okay, you have him
(05:08):
credit for admitting that he jerked off. He doesn't give a shit. Well,
I mean, does she have proofthat he was jerking off. I'm
saying what I'm saying, was ita video call, was it an audio
It was a phone call, phoneconversation. So that's the first mistake.
First mistake he made was admitting toit. But but he's he admitted to
doing it. But my thought is, isn't how is it that someone is
(05:33):
willing because now you know he'll befired and by the way, without compensation,
they're not going to get him.The're not gonna put a package together
and say, hey, we knowyou signed a hundred million dollars deal.
We're gonna give you twenty million andsend you on your way. He's not
getting anything now. The guy's probablyset for life anyways, because I think
he's on year two or year threeof that contract. But how do you
(05:54):
fuck Up's like earlier, earlier thismorning, we're talking about the flight attendant
who left the who put put thephone in the bathroom. I mean,
it's like saying, hey, Ithink I know my career is just about
over. Let me just throw thisin here to take it over the top.
That's like the Boston doctor who wascharged with jerking off in front of
(06:14):
a fourteen year old on that flightfrom Hawaiish. You think of what it
took to become a doctor. Thisguy's a well respected doctor. Year at
Beth Israel. Okay, a wellrespected doctor. What is going through your
head? You act like they're throwingaway common sense, Kevin. These people,
I mean, you know what,they don't have common sense. They're
(06:34):
they're sick. Shit, they're sick. They need help. You got a
guy that's making nine million dollars ayear. All you have to do is
fucking behave yourself and and be thebest coach you can be for your team.
I mean, you don't think hehas a track record of some kinds.
It's probably not public knowledge, buthe Sure this guy's got a track.
(06:55):
It doesn't sound like that was thefirst time he's done. Yeah,
Like the flight attendant, do youthink that was the first time? Right,
they put a phone up? Howare we able to function every day
without a fucking offending or sexually assaulting. It seems like it's because we get
up to our go home, weeat, we nap, we get up.
We're also I also like to thinkwe're halfway decent. Gen know what
(07:17):
I'm saying that we would wouldn't doit. To your point, too,
to like to get to that pointin life where you like you've you know,
you're successful, you're well respected,people know your work, you're helping
people, and then you just fuckingthrow it all away from it all the
way. It's not like they're flippinga switch, is what I'm saying.
They were doing this, yare It'sthere, right, it's there, and
(07:38):
you know, well, that's finallythey're finally caught. It's like like like
going back to Robert Kraft. Okay, what makes him go into a fucking
dirty massage parlor? When the guycould have one call, he could have
women coming to his place down there, No one would know. I mean
even this football coach nine million bucksa here, tell me you couldn't find
(08:01):
a couple of call girls to comevisit you doing it? Yeah? Under
the radar? Is it? Isit that maybe if there's that level of
the thrill of getting beyond a strangeror getting caught, oh fuck yeah,
maybe it's a service we could provide, you know, be smarter in the
way you become an an Tommy Smartfrom the start. That was Carlson,
(08:22):
Mackenzie and Heather's Happy Ending Listen everyweekday morning five thirty to ten for more
on one hundred point seven WCLX andI'm Free season
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