Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Okay, place is everybody they're welcomeback to the podcast. Yeah, I'm
sure, I'm sure it's it's thesincere welcome. So I don't know what
you guys are finished? No,I do we do you have to go
through farts? Or can we just? Can we just talk? This part
won't be part of the podcast.You don't edit it? You want?
(00:26):
Do you want it? Does?Do you want to paying attention? Can
you wait till we kick off?Fart? Then? Okay, Well it's
not just that there's a little bitjust fart. It's just a little bit
of a setup in that. Whatyou're hearing is I had just gotten out
of the cars is in the parkinggarage at Mohegan Sun. I went and
saw the Australian Pink Floyd show Saturday, drink a stranger's water and didn't tell
(00:48):
her, and then she drank outof it. So I hope you don't
have herpes y. I gave hersome of my powers, some of my
DNA. That's what she did.She got some of my DNA. So
anyway, okay, we're just aboutready to walk into Mohegan's Sun. That's
sweeter than the sound of a slotmachine. That's disgusting. You've been doing
(01:10):
that in every place we go today, Missus Carlson, you were saving up
first for the podcast everywhere. Shejust gave away a little bit about the
show where Missus Carlson right there passingagainst working it to the point where it's
just second nature free even her.Yeah, it's awesome. It's like the
last week it was home Goods.Last weekend it was home Goods. This
(01:33):
weekend it was some Mohegan Sun.So now we're officially up and around and
either what were you gonna? Areyou doing a pussy thing today? Or
no? Oh no, okay,good. So we talked about the fact
during the show. And I wasn'there last week because I was on a
COVID mission bringing my two seventy somethingyear old parents back from hospitals in Missouri.
Right But to get there, Ihad to take an aeroplane. And
(01:55):
so I'm not going to mention thethe air the air what the airplane company
I use, but you'll figure itout basically by what I say. So
my husband booked me an air aflight early Saturday morning, real early.
So I get there and it's akind of airline where you don't have assigned
seats. You show up and you'rein a line, right, yes,
(02:19):
right, So I am in B, which is the second one sees for
people who basically don't exist in humanity. There's only like five people in C.
Right. Was in a full flight, yes, as one through fifty.
B's one through fifty. I amB fifty, the last basically the
last person before the inhuman people.There's like six people left right, So
(02:42):
it's chancy whether or not you're gettinga middle seat window or I'm getting a
middle seat. I already know thatautomatically. The people were getting in flight,
yes, and Ford got me thatflight less than twelve hours or you
know, less than twenty four hoursbefore the flight. So I'm about to
board and I'm thinking, you know, please, Lord, make it a
(03:05):
good one. So I get onand the first row has got a middle
seat open. But this woman's gother bag there and I don't really feel
like fighting her. Right, nextone bag, next one bag. The
first seat. I come to wherethere's no bag on the middle seat,
I'm like, fuck it, I'lltake it. I want to be near
the front. I don't want totake an hour and a half to get
out so it's like seventh row,sixth row. I put my bag up
(03:25):
top and I get in the seat. I'm on flight sixteen sixty six.
By the way, I hate thefact that I'm going to flight with six
six six in the number. Murdyfucking freaked out by it, right,
So I sit down and to theleft of me the girl, she's in
her early twenties. She's asleep already. I find out later, just heads
up that she had never been ona flight before. She was heading out
(03:46):
to Oklahoma eventually, and she fellasleep because she took medicine, took something.
So her arm is kind of ontwo arm rests. Her head is
on the left one by the window, and her right one is on my
left arm rest. So the guysitting next to me, he's the kind
of guy that wears cargo pants allthe way down to the bottom, not
just cargo short. He is wearingbig white sneakers. He's bald, he's
(04:11):
semi fat, but not so fatthat he should be taking up two seats
in an airplane. He's fat,he's he's a big dude, but he's
not a big dude. Yeah,okay, And he obviously thinks that the
aisle seat means he gets the armrest to his right and the arm rest
to his left, and he fuckingspreads his legs, so that is is
(04:34):
in my area. So I'm likethis my arm right, and so I
try to put my arm on hisarm rest and he pushes it off.
And then I'm thinking to myself,I'm a woman. Now, yeah,
I'm forty seven, so I'm notlike desirable to most men who are out
there. But do I make thisdecision where I'm not sure if he thinks
(04:55):
I'm fighting him for the armrest orhe thinks I'm fighting him to fuck him
right, we're having a little wrestlingwhere you know, all you're locking fingers
and holding hands off. It's alittle four play in his mind, and
so his end so his arms areso far over the arm rest that if
I don't lean into the sleeping girl, his full fucking arm is just flat
up against the side of you.And I don't, and I'm thinking to
(05:18):
myself, what the fuck? SoI actually elbow him a little bit and
he elbows back, and then hegets on his computer doing this, so
now his elbows are in front ofmy chest. I was so fucking pissed.
No, I mean, you gotto say something. It turns out
that he I did twice. Itturns out that he's just a stupid fucking
(05:40):
human to use the bathroom. AndI just put my fucking arm like right
on the arm rest and he comesback and he looks at it, and
then he leans over to the sidelike, oh wait, maybe she needs
that arm rest like he didn't.It was like, that's how fucking stupid
he was. Boy, And itwas just, yeah, sometimes you just
have to fuck You have to justkeep don't We all know etiquette on a
(06:01):
fucking plane though, because people it'sall about hill seat has no window and
has no aisle, all about them, give them the fucking arm rest.
That's the way it works. It'sall about what how am I comfortable on
this flight. Dude was so gross. He was the kind of guy when
he got his snacks, he openedthe bag and he poured the bag down
his fucking God, that came pouringand it came pouring down the same thing,
(06:23):
picking it off his fucking dirty assshirt. I've done that and feeding
you, trying to feed you.I was so fucking pissed, and all
I'm thinking myself is I'm just tryingto go help my elderly parents for a
trapped in fucking Missouri. Just giveme a goddamn fucking arm rest, you
fucking piece of shit. Wow,God, I was so angry man.
(06:45):
And then I got off the planeand never thought about him until this very
moment. That was Carlson Happy Endinglisten every weekday Morning More on one hundred
point seven WCLX and I
Okay, place is everybody they're welcomeback to the podcast. Yeah, I'm
sure, I'm sure it's it's thesincere welcome. So I don't know what
you guys are finished? No,I do we do you have to go
through farts? Or can we just? Can we just talk? This part
won't be part of the podcast.You don't edit it? You want?
(00:26):
Do you want it? Does?Do you want to paying attention? Can
you wait till we kick off?Fart? Then? Okay, Well it's
not just that there's a little bitjust fart. It's just a little bit
of a setup in that. Whatyou're hearing is I had just gotten out
of the cars is in the parkinggarage at Mohegan Sun. I went and
saw the Australian Pink Floyd show Saturday, drink a stranger's water and didn't tell
(00:48):
her, and then she drank outof it. So I hope you don't
have herpes y. I gave hersome of my powers, some of my
DNA. That's what she did.She got some of my DNA. So
anyway, okay, we're just aboutready to walk into Mohegan's Sun. That's
sweeter than the sound of a slotmachine. That's disgusting. You've been doing
(01:10):
that in every place we go today, Missus Carlson, you were saving up
first for the podcast everywhere. Shejust gave away a little bit about the
show where Missus Carlson right there passingagainst working it to the point where it's
just second nature free even her.Yeah, it's awesome. It's like the
last week it was home Goods.Last weekend it was home Goods. This
(01:33):
weekend it was some Mohegan Sun.So now we're officially up and around and
either what were you gonna? Areyou doing a pussy thing today? Or
no? Oh no, okay,good. So we talked about the fact
during the show. And I wasn'there last week because I was on a
COVID mission bringing my two seventy somethingyear old parents back from hospitals in Missouri.
Right But to get there, Ihad to take an aeroplane. And
(01:55):
so I'm not going to mention thethe air the air what the airplane company
I use, but you'll figure itout basically by what I say. So
my husband booked me an air aflight early Saturday morning, real early.
So I get there and it's akind of airline where you don't have assigned
seats. You show up and you'rein a line, right, yes,
(02:19):
right, So I am in B, which is the second one sees for
people who basically don't exist in humanity. There's only like five people in C.
Right. Was in a full flight, yes, as one through fifty.
B's one through fifty. I amB fifty, the last basically the
last person before the inhuman people.There's like six people left right, So
(02:42):
it's chancy whether or not you're gettinga middle seat window or I'm getting a
middle seat. I already know thatautomatically. The people were getting in flight,
yes, and Ford got me thatflight less than twelve hours or you
know, less than twenty four hoursbefore the flight. So I'm about to
board and I'm thinking, you know, please, Lord, make it a
(03:05):
good one. So I get onand the first row has got a middle
seat open. But this woman's gother bag there and I don't really feel
like fighting her. Right, nextone bag, next one bag. The
first seat. I come to wherethere's no bag on the middle seat,
I'm like, fuck it, I'lltake it. I want to be near
the front. I don't want totake an hour and a half to get
out so it's like seventh row,sixth row. I put my bag up
(03:25):
top and I get in the seat. I'm on flight sixteen sixty six.
By the way, I hate thefact that I'm going to flight with six
six six in the number. Murdyfucking freaked out by it, right,
So I sit down and to theleft of me the girl, she's in
her early twenties. She's asleep already. I find out later, just heads
up that she had never been ona flight before. She was heading out
(03:46):
to Oklahoma eventually, and she fellasleep because she took medicine, took something.
So her arm is kind of ontwo arm rests. Her head is
on the left one by the window, and her right one is on my
left arm rest. So the guysitting next to me, he's the kind
of guy that wears cargo pants allthe way down to the bottom, not
just cargo short. He is wearingbig white sneakers. He's bald, he's
(04:11):
semi fat, but not so fatthat he should be taking up two seats
in an airplane. He's fat,he's he's a big dude, but he's
not a big dude. Yeah,okay, And he obviously thinks that the
aisle seat means he gets the armrest to his right and the arm rest
to his left, and he fuckingspreads his legs, so that is is
(04:34):
in my area. So I'm likethis my arm right, and so I
try to put my arm on hisarm rest and he pushes it off.
And then I'm thinking to myself,I'm a woman. Now, yeah,
I'm forty seven, so I'm notlike desirable to most men who are out
there. But do I make thisdecision where I'm not sure if he thinks
(04:55):
I'm fighting him for the armrest orhe thinks I'm fighting him to fuck him
right, we're having a little wrestlingwhere you know, all you're locking fingers
and holding hands off. It's alittle four play in his mind, and
so his end so his arms areso far over the arm rest that if
I don't lean into the sleeping girl, his full fucking arm is just flat
up against the side of you.And I don't, and I'm thinking to
(05:18):
myself, what the fuck? SoI actually elbow him a little bit and
he elbows back, and then hegets on his computer doing this, so
now his elbows are in front ofmy chest. I was so fucking pissed.
No, I mean, you gotto say something. It turns out
that he I did twice. Itturns out that he's just a stupid fucking
(05:40):
human to use the bathroom. AndI just put my fucking arm like right
on the arm rest and he comesback and he looks at it, and
then he leans over to the sidelike, oh wait, maybe she needs
that arm rest like he didn't.It was like, that's how fucking stupid
he was. Boy, And itwas just, yeah, sometimes you just
have to fuck You have to justkeep don't We all know etiquette on a
(06:01):
fucking plane though, because people it'sall about hill seat has no window and
has no aisle, all about them, give them the fucking arm rest.
That's the way it works. It'sall about what how am I comfortable on
this flight. Dude was so gross. He was the kind of guy when
he got his snacks, he openedthe bag and he poured the bag down
his fucking God, that came pouringand it came pouring down the same thing,
(06:23):
picking it off his fucking dirty assshirt. I've done that and feeding
you, trying to feed you.I was so fucking pissed, and all
I'm thinking myself is I'm just tryingto go help my elderly parents for a
trapped in fucking Missouri. Just giveme a goddamn fucking arm rest, you
fucking piece of shit. Wow,God, I was so angry man.
(06:45):
And then I got off the planeand never thought about him until this very
moment. That was Carlson Happy Endinglisten every weekday Morning More on one hundred
point seven WCLX and I
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