Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Carlson, Mackenzie and Heathers. Heather, we're waiting for you to give a
shit shred her work from the morning. Waiting for you to walk away from
that trash can mean walk away fromyou. Okay, I say, that's
a hell of a way to describehis A briefcase. His body place is
(00:25):
everybody, we're about ready to doa Friday podcast. All right, clear
your throat. It's gonna be quick, right, get the fuck out here?
Yeah, yes, well I haveto hear. They have to kick
it off. You have to officiallykick off the I always think to myself,
you know how to do that,right, you officially kick off.
I always think to myself, whydon't I do this before I take a
(00:45):
shower? But it doesn't always workout that way. I mean, here
I am postion or just holding backa fart so hard. It's get I
thought he was doing a voice.I thought you were doing a voice.
So this is the this is reallyoff airpeatre hearing. This is untouched.
Pete. By the way, thisis raw audio. Didn't do a thing
to it. That kind of soundslike when you talk listen to I always
(01:07):
think to myself, why don't Imean, huh, yeah, I think
you're holding it a fart really hardmight be I always think of myself.
I always I always think to myself, why don't I do this before I
take a shower? Like it's talkinga baby doesn't always work out that way.
I mean, here I am postshower, drip dry, squeaky clean.
Yet I'm ready to count down apodcast in three two animal. I
(01:48):
don't know, Heather, if we'rebreaking it down. I think it was
more of like skipping a stone acrossthat. It's just fighting. You're fighting,
it's fighting. Had you laid downlike sometimes I lay down and then
I'll bring my legs. Try tobring my legs up to me. That'll
help me. But boy, thatwas almost like it was painful. We
were fighting each other. Yeah youokay? All right? Ever fight at
(02:10):
that hard shit in your pants withmy nineteen eighty six radio voice. Apparently
you heard that right. It wascrazy. It was like you were talking
to a baby. Part was ababy, like, oh my god.
I don't know. Maybe always thinkto myself beginning, I always think to
myself, why don't I always thinkabout hardy, relaxing, winding down.
(02:37):
I guess so. But with yourshoulders up right right right? You get
you guys up. Speaking of farts, are you up for some fart statistics
from a doctor from from England?No, it isology. Did we just
(02:58):
hear from him? I thought thatwas I thought that was Snoopy's red baron
For a second, doctor Seoge hassome fart statistics. Doctor's blooge Sge?
Why do you fart so much?The NHS says that the average person farts
between five or fifteen kids a day, but more than that can be normal
for some people. However, itcan also be an indicator a certain conditions,
(03:20):
so people who have Blacktows intolerance orCeliac disease tend to be more flatuate
than others. Now. It canalso be a sign of things like constipation,
eating things that are difficult to digestand territable about in Dad, is
anybody else bothered when two things areyeah? Why? Yeah? It drives
me up? Why do they dothat? He feels like he had to
have music in the back. Musicin the back, which doesn't think,
(03:42):
Well, when you're watching that onTV, it doesn't bother you, but
when you're hearing it on the radioit does because you don't have the visual
thing else to focus on. Well, you're able to tune out the music
a little bit. It just itbecomes background. But when you're just listening,
it's weird. Like if you're anaudio freak, does it bother anybody
when they're in a room that's gotan echo to it and you're thinking,
(04:04):
I can't it's hard to concentrate.Go to a room that's that's a smaller
blanket over a table and sit underthe table. Yeah. Or even like
you'll be watching the news and they'llthey'll be there'll be somebody reporting or whatever,
or they'll be talking to a guest, you know, like on CNN
and they're in this big room.It's like, you understand how audience told
them? Yeah, they have noclue. No one's told me, you
(04:27):
know, we just have heard celebritieson podcasts do the same thing. It's
like, really, you don't havea mic. You can plug in laptops.
We're in radio were audio expert toldthem, we're pizza where you are?
I don't know what I mean.It's like an one audio one on
one right, don't drown out yourown voice. So five to fifteen times
a day, says for the averageperson, Okay, how many times you
fat man? I wonder how manytimes in your sleep in the bathroom?
(04:50):
Yeah yeah, I would think so, I would think that counts. Doesn't
count in your sleep is the question, because you know we all do it
and yeah, yeah, just rippingthem cereal sleep fartern real quick's. We
did get a winner in our happyending match and what the fuck did they
call you? Great subject line?Remember how people struggled getting then because we
(05:25):
have a few new people that justsort of came out of the woodwork with
us that I know, play along, but finally they like them. Peter
bat Shelder from Walpole Batch Batch,Batch Eldert b A T C H E
L D e R Yeah, BatchElder beat Shelder. Peter B from Walpole
(05:46):
got it, he said. Oneof my seventies favorite bands, Terrible,
Ted, Hey Baby and Bad Companycan't get enough, And he goes,
maybe you could play it. It'sa good one. A lot of new
did did we because you've been herea long time. Because we Pete and
I worked at rock stations where TedNugent was. We couldn't played cat scratch
(06:08):
fever, we played strangle. Wehad three on rotation. Yeah, cat
Scratch, Stranglehold and Free for All, which is a great track. But
yeah, those were like the threestaples we used to play from Nugent,
but just not a lot of demandanymore. For him. Our winner is
Frank and I've never I've got anemail from this guy Frank Tooley t U
L L E Y and I don'tknow where he's from. So congratulations you
(06:30):
picked up a z lex T shirt. Okay, so it's good to see
some new people that and all theusuals got it too. After we threw
out that that clue okay, anythingelse? Anybody? What was that pussy?
Well? What did they say?I mean, we're moving on,
can't they can't wait unless they calldraw up a roadblock in this Friday party.
The only person throwing up anything,okay, Kenny was about the sun
(06:54):
up yas excuse me, don't makeme muture, Michael go for it.
It's the fucking podcast. I wouldn'tknow how to do it. Maybe I
don't don't. I know you don't. I've got a well, I've got
a quick story, but also havea quick question for the panel. Uh,
let's start over in Glasgow, Scotland, there's no Scottish. It's crap.
(07:19):
Back in the early seventies, thischick was going to go on a
first date and uh, the suitorcame over to the Scottish household with a
gift for her parents for for theparents, has a nice welcome. Well,
it turned out to be some candy, including a Cadbury cream egg.
Now, for whatever reason, Uh, this Cadbury cream egg did not get
(07:42):
eaten, did I mention? Thiswas nineteen seventy three. So for the
last fifty years, this Cadbury creamegg has been kept in the family as
an heirloom because that couple, aftertheir first date, would eventually go on
and get married and they're still marriedto this day. So I it just
found it odd that that was afamily heirloom. Yeah, Cadbury cream egg.
(08:05):
So it doesn't say if they canfreezer or not protect it. Hey,
whatever you do. You know,everybody in a family probably knew about
it. Probably started out as ajoke and then it got serious. You
know. It's like, yeah,and I guess once the grandmother died,
she literally pat like with every airloom, passed it down to the next to
kid, and so on and soforth. So this woman's like, well,
I think you know, I'm goingto pass it down to my ladders
(08:26):
and see if they can keep itgoing. So my question to you is,
do any of you or anyone inyour family have a family heirloom shit?
And if so you haven't, whatdo you have? Lots? Oh?
I thought you said you like heirloomsthat get passed down. Yeah,
I mean, we have a rockingchair that's been passed now. It's like
the most bizarre things. Bible.I have a Bible that's the size of
(08:48):
that screen right there. It's ina suitcase. Is it like on parchment
papers? Yeah, it's just bigand bulky with a big top to it.
I mean I in Lois's house,my aunt that passed away, I
found about fifty bibles, a lotof them really old. One of them
had a nineteen seventeen one dollar billin it. So you think she so
she collected them or she just keptall the bibles that when everybody passed,
(09:09):
she kept them. And they're Baptists. So you know you're born, you
got a Bible. Communion, yougot a Bible. You had a birthday,
you got a Bible. Everybody gotbibles for everything. So yeah,
it was you know, Bible thumpand Baptists, anything in your family.
I mean, the only thing Ican think of is my grandmother's rosary that
I remember seeing somebody has in thefamily and that's it. Hey, do
(09:31):
you still because you've mentioned a fewtimes it's been years, but like,
didn't she used to have vh VHStapes like Disney VHS tapes? Did you
see that really in their case?But there's not plastic wrapped. That's okay?
There well some like they list them. Yes, so like back to
the Future, if you have thatbrand new still wrapped, that's that's fourteen
(09:56):
thousand dollars. I haven't unwrapped andwatched about one hundred and fIF times.
Wow. Okay, Now if youhave Pinocchio brand new in the rapper,
that's ten thousand. I can tellyou. I'll tell you what we have
what she has on her shelf rightnow, but they're all unwrapped. She
has Mermaid, she has Beauty andthe Beast, she has Lion King,
she has Pocahontas. She have Dumbbofrom nineteen eighty five. No, because
(10:18):
she was born in what about onehundred and one Dall nations. I think
that's the oldest one I have that'snot wrapped, but it's in that plastic.
Is that on there? I don'tsee that. I see dumb Dumbo's
twenty like new, not even wrapped, is twenty thousand dollars from nineteen eighty
five. If you have a Dumbov. Dumbo. I don't think she
still has Dumbo. You can askher right now because the only messages were
(10:39):
passing to each other are about mymother who's hospitalized with COVID. So well,
way to end upon you. That'swhy I want to go now.
Coo. Yeah, that was CarlsonMackenzie Heather's Happy Ending Listen every weekday morning
for more on one hundred point sevenWCLX, and I heard Radio se
Carlson, Mackenzie and Heathers. Heather, we're waiting for you to give a
shit shred her work from the morning. Waiting for you to walk away from
that trash can mean walk away fromyou. Okay, I say, that's
a hell of a way to describehis A briefcase. His body place is
(00:25):
everybody, we're about ready to doa Friday podcast. All right, clear
your throat. It's gonna be quick, right, get the fuck out here?
Yeah, yes, well I haveto hear. They have to kick
it off. You have to officiallykick off the I always think to myself,
you know how to do that,right, you officially kick off.
I always think to myself, whydon't I do this before I take a
(00:45):
shower? But it doesn't always workout that way. I mean, here
I am postion or just holding backa fart so hard. It's get I
thought he was doing a voice.I thought you were doing a voice.
So this is the this is reallyoff airpeatre hearing. This is untouched.
Pete. By the way, thisis raw audio. Didn't do a thing
to it. That kind of soundslike when you talk listen to I always
(01:07):
think to myself, why don't Imean, huh, yeah, I think
you're holding it a fart really hardmight be I always think of myself.
I always I always think to myself, why don't I do this before I
take a shower? Like it's talkinga baby doesn't always work out that way.
I mean, here I am postshower, drip dry, squeaky clean.
Yet I'm ready to count down apodcast in three two animal. I
(01:48):
don't know, Heather, if we'rebreaking it down. I think it was
more of like skipping a stone acrossthat. It's just fighting. You're fighting,
it's fighting. Had you laid downlike sometimes I lay down and then
I'll bring my legs. Try tobring my legs up to me. That'll
help me. But boy, thatwas almost like it was painful. We
were fighting each other. Yeah youokay? All right? Ever fight at
(02:10):
that hard shit in your pants withmy nineteen eighty six radio voice. Apparently
you heard that right. It wascrazy. It was like you were talking
to a baby. Part was ababy, like, oh my god.
I don't know. Maybe always thinkto myself beginning, I always think to
myself, why don't I always thinkabout hardy, relaxing, winding down.
(02:37):
I guess so. But with yourshoulders up right right right? You get
you guys up. Speaking of farts, are you up for some fart statistics
from a doctor from from England?No, it isology. Did we just
(02:58):
hear from him? I thought thatwas I thought that was Snoopy's red baron
For a second, doctor Seoge hassome fart statistics. Doctor's blooge Sge?
Why do you fart so much?The NHS says that the average person farts
between five or fifteen kids a day, but more than that can be normal
for some people. However, itcan also be an indicator a certain conditions,
(03:20):
so people who have Blacktows intolerance orCeliac disease tend to be more flatuate
than others. Now. It canalso be a sign of things like constipation,
eating things that are difficult to digestand territable about in Dad, is
anybody else bothered when two things areyeah? Why? Yeah? It drives
me up? Why do they dothat? He feels like he had to
have music in the back. Musicin the back, which doesn't think,
(03:42):
Well, when you're watching that onTV, it doesn't bother you, but
when you're hearing it on the radioit does because you don't have the visual
thing else to focus on. Well, you're able to tune out the music
a little bit. It just itbecomes background. But when you're just listening,
it's weird. Like if you're anaudio freak, does it bother anybody
when they're in a room that's gotan echo to it and you're thinking,
(04:04):
I can't it's hard to concentrate.Go to a room that's that's a smaller
blanket over a table and sit underthe table. Yeah. Or even like
you'll be watching the news and they'llthey'll be there'll be somebody reporting or whatever,
or they'll be talking to a guest, you know, like on CNN
and they're in this big room.It's like, you understand how audience told
them? Yeah, they have noclue. No one's told me, you
(04:27):
know, we just have heard celebritieson podcasts do the same thing. It's
like, really, you don't havea mic. You can plug in laptops.
We're in radio were audio expert toldthem, we're pizza where you are?
I don't know what I mean.It's like an one audio one on
one right, don't drown out yourown voice. So five to fifteen times
a day, says for the averageperson, Okay, how many times you
fat man? I wonder how manytimes in your sleep in the bathroom?
(04:50):
Yeah yeah, I would think so, I would think that counts. Doesn't
count in your sleep is the question, because you know we all do it
and yeah, yeah, just rippingthem cereal sleep fartern real quick's. We
did get a winner in our happyending match and what the fuck did they
call you? Great subject line?Remember how people struggled getting then because we
(05:25):
have a few new people that justsort of came out of the woodwork with
us that I know, play along, but finally they like them. Peter
bat Shelder from Walpole Batch Batch,Batch Eldert b A T C H E
L D e R Yeah, BatchElder beat Shelder. Peter B from Walpole
(05:46):
got it, he said. Oneof my seventies favorite bands, Terrible,
Ted, Hey Baby and Bad Companycan't get enough, And he goes,
maybe you could play it. It'sa good one. A lot of new
did did we because you've been herea long time. Because we Pete and
I worked at rock stations where TedNugent was. We couldn't played cat scratch
(06:08):
fever, we played strangle. Wehad three on rotation. Yeah, cat
Scratch, Stranglehold and Free for All, which is a great track. But
yeah, those were like the threestaples we used to play from Nugent,
but just not a lot of demandanymore. For him. Our winner is
Frank and I've never I've got anemail from this guy Frank Tooley t U
L L E Y and I don'tknow where he's from. So congratulations you
(06:30):
picked up a z lex T shirt. Okay, so it's good to see
some new people that and all theusuals got it too. After we threw
out that that clue okay, anythingelse? Anybody? What was that pussy?
Well? What did they say?I mean, we're moving on,
can't they can't wait unless they calldraw up a roadblock in this Friday party.
The only person throwing up anything,okay, Kenny was about the sun
(06:54):
up yas excuse me, don't makeme muture, Michael go for it.
It's the fucking podcast. I wouldn'tknow how to do it. Maybe I
don't don't. I know you don't. I've got a well, I've got
a quick story, but also havea quick question for the panel. Uh,
let's start over in Glasgow, Scotland, there's no Scottish. It's crap.
(07:19):
Back in the early seventies, thischick was going to go on a
first date and uh, the suitorcame over to the Scottish household with a
gift for her parents for for theparents, has a nice welcome. Well,
it turned out to be some candy, including a Cadbury cream egg.
Now, for whatever reason, Uh, this Cadbury cream egg did not get
(07:42):
eaten, did I mention? Thiswas nineteen seventy three. So for the
last fifty years, this Cadbury creamegg has been kept in the family as
an heirloom because that couple, aftertheir first date, would eventually go on
and get married and they're still marriedto this day. So I it just
found it odd that that was afamily heirloom. Yeah, Cadbury cream egg.
(08:05):
So it doesn't say if they canfreezer or not protect it. Hey,
whatever you do. You know,everybody in a family probably knew about
it. Probably started out as ajoke and then it got serious. You
know. It's like, yeah,and I guess once the grandmother died,
she literally pat like with every airloom, passed it down to the next to
kid, and so on and soforth. So this woman's like, well,
I think you know, I'm goingto pass it down to my ladders
(08:26):
and see if they can keep itgoing. So my question to you is,
do any of you or anyone inyour family have a family heirloom shit?
And if so you haven't, whatdo you have? Lots? Oh?
I thought you said you like heirloomsthat get passed down. Yeah,
I mean, we have a rockingchair that's been passed now. It's like
the most bizarre things. Bible.I have a Bible that's the size of
(08:48):
that screen right there. It's ina suitcase. Is it like on parchment
papers? Yeah, it's just bigand bulky with a big top to it.
I mean I in Lois's house,my aunt that passed away, I
found about fifty bibles, a lotof them really old. One of them
had a nineteen seventeen one dollar billin it. So you think she so
she collected them or she just keptall the bibles that when everybody passed,
(09:09):
she kept them. And they're Baptists. So you know you're born, you
got a Bible. Communion, yougot a Bible. You had a birthday,
you got a Bible. Everybody gotbibles for everything. So yeah,
it was you know, Bible thumpand Baptists, anything in your family.
I mean, the only thing Ican think of is my grandmother's rosary that
I remember seeing somebody has in thefamily and that's it. Hey, do
(09:31):
you still because you've mentioned a fewtimes it's been years, but like,
didn't she used to have vh VHStapes like Disney VHS tapes? Did you
see that really in their case?But there's not plastic wrapped. That's okay?
There well some like they list them. Yes, so like back to
the Future, if you have thatbrand new still wrapped, that's that's fourteen
(09:56):
thousand dollars. I haven't unwrapped andwatched about one hundred and fIF times.
Wow. Okay, Now if youhave Pinocchio brand new in the rapper,
that's ten thousand. I can tellyou. I'll tell you what we have
what she has on her shelf rightnow, but they're all unwrapped. She
has Mermaid, she has Beauty andthe Beast, she has Lion King,
she has Pocahontas. She have Dumbbofrom nineteen eighty five. No, because
(10:18):
she was born in what about onehundred and one Dall nations. I think
that's the oldest one I have that'snot wrapped, but it's in that plastic.
Is that on there? I don'tsee that. I see dumb Dumbo's
twenty like new, not even wrapped, is twenty thousand dollars from nineteen eighty
five. If you have a Dumbov. Dumbo. I don't think she
still has Dumbo. You can askher right now because the only messages were
(10:39):
passing to each other are about mymother who's hospitalized with COVID. So well,
way to end upon you. That'swhy I want to go now.
Coo. Yeah, that was CarlsonMackenzie Heather's Happy Ending Listen every weekday morning
for more on one hundred point sevenWCLX, and I heard Radio se
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