October 13, 2023 • 25 mins
You might have heard the buzz about positive thinking, but have you ever wondered if it truly works?
People are often encouraged to visualize their goals, maintain an upbeat attitude, and affirm positive outcomes.
Today, I am going to share the power of shifting your thinking and the impact it has on our lives. We'll begin by dissecting the concept of thinking into three distinct types. It's an eye-opening revelation that sets the stage for our main topic - the Possibility Mindset. This mindset is a game-changer, a shift in thinking that can transform the way you approach life.
But, of course, not all thinking is beneficial. We'll delve into the Problem Mindset, dissecting the seven key elements that hold you back from your full potential. From only seeing the issues to choosing your words carelessly, we'll uncover how these habits can discourage not only yourself but also those around you.
The ultimate question we'll explore is the difference between talking about big things and actually doing them. So, get ready to challenge your thinking and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead.
In this episode, you'll learn:
What is possibility thinking
How to stop being a problem thinker
How to develop the possibility thinking
How to level up your doer mindset
Your mindset is a powerful tool, and by the end of this episode, you'll be armed with the knowledge to wield it effectively in your journey towards success.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:19 Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work?
03:13 The Three Types of Thinking
04:23 What Is The Possibility Mindset?
05:28 Do You Have A Problem Mindset?
09:19 #1: You Only See The Issues
12:02 #2: Doing Things In The Mind Alone
13:08 #3: Nothing Is Never Enough
15:56 #4: You’re Likely To Discourage Others
18:12 #5: Choosing Words Carelessly
20:27 #6: Thinking Like An Expert
20:56 #7: Talking About Big Things vs Doing Big Things
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm grateful for what I have, but I'm excited for
what I'm growing for. There's this balanced approach. Notice how
I'm not just putting forward the other extreme. Life isn't
just about saying I'm at one extreme. How do I
get to the other extreme? I'm negative, Let's get a positive.
I'm not grateful, Let's be grateful. It doesn't work like that.
That's too simple. The answer is far more gray. The
(00:22):
answer is not black and white. The answer is not
on one or the other side. Hey, everyone, welcome back
to On Purpose, to number one health podcast in the world.
Thanks to each and every one of you that come
back every week to listen, learn and grow. Thank you
(00:42):
so much for tuning in, turning up for your transformation.
I am so so happy to get to spend this
time with you every day, every week, multiple.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Times a day maybe.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
And I want to thank all of you that have
been leaving reviews. I'm always learning, I'm always trying to
improve with your feedback, always trying to make this better.
And I'm so happy that we've always kept this absolutely free.
The podcast has been free since day one. You have
over four and a half year's worth of content. That's
available makes you go back and listen to incredible episodes
(01:16):
all the way back in twenty nineteen and just last week.
So today I want to talk about something really important.
And I think a lot of the time we've heard
a lot about positive thinking. It's all about positivity, they say.
And I think as time's gone on, we've all realized
that positivity or positive thinking doesn't really work, because when
(01:41):
we tell someone to be positive, what we're telling them
to do is think good things right Just be positive,
ignore the negative, Ignore what's wrong in your life right now.
Don't accept your emotions or your feelings, don't acknowledge what
you're going through. Just be positi So someone says to
(02:01):
you like, oh, I'm really worried that I may not
get this job. Oh, just be positive, you'll get it.
And then it comes around and they didn't get their job,
and they said, well, I was being positive. Why didn't
I get it? The truth is, maybe there was feedback,
maybe there was a lesson, maybe there was learning. Maybe
that job wasn't right for them, Maybe they didn't try
hard enough. Maybe they needed to understand their feeling of
(02:26):
worry and know how to transform it and move away
from anxiety. But telling someone to be positive doesn't get
them the result they want, and it stops them from
dealing with the emotion right, Telling someone to be positive
doesn't get them the result, and it stops them from
acknowledging how they're feeling. So I think toxic positivity has
(02:50):
been around for a long time, and often people assume
if someone's telling you to think bigger or think more mindfully,
than they're saying be positive. And I don't think that's
the case. So I want you to know that today
I'm not telling you to be positive. I'm not trying
you to just get you to think about the good
things in life. That is not what I'm encouraging you
(03:11):
to do, because I think there's a lot more to
it than that simple statement. Now, there's three types of thinking,
positive thinking, problem thinking, and possibility thinking. I want to
talk to a bit about problem thinking, the opposite end.
So if positivity is one extreme where you force yourself
to just be like everything's gonna work out, everything's gonna
(03:31):
be great, everything's amazing, right, which it isn't. You have
to do stuff, you have to work through stuff, you
have to figure things out. The other extreme is problem thinking,
everything's a problem, or I can never do that. That's
never gonna work out. That's impossible, that won't work for me.
I can't do it, It's not gonna happen. Right, we do
(03:51):
the opposite. Just as we were blindly being positive, we're
now blindly being negative. Just as we were being positive
for the being positive, we're now being negative for the
sake of being negative. Right, there was no basis, There
was no evidence to our positivity, and now there's no
evidence to our problems. We just keep pointing out the problems.
(04:13):
Even if someone presents a solution, we find the one
negative in that solution, and it just continues to go.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Round and around and round.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
So I want to present to you possibility thinking, right,
the possibility mindset. This isn't imagination, this isn't delusion. Possibility
mindset is saying, instead of being falsely positive, instead of
being falsely negative or falsely problem looking or problem spotting,
(04:43):
let me think in possibilities. Let me always look for
possibilities instead of problems. Let me look for what could happen,
what we could figure out. Let me look at what
and how we could approach it differently, Let me look
at what is possible. Let me look at the possible
over the impossible. Let me look at what's probable instead
(05:07):
of the impossible. Let me stop discounting or deflecting things
as just being full of problems, and let me actually
find the way. Now, the way I want to address
this is I want to share this with you as
if you have a possibility mindset or a problem mindset.
(05:28):
So if you have a problem mindset, you will believe
there is only one way. We do this in our careers,
we do this in our passions, we do this in
our marriages, we do this in our relationships. If you're
someone who believes there is only one way, it means
we're stuck in problem mindset. We believe this is the
(05:50):
only path, and if this path doesn't work for us,
then it will never work for us. We believe that
this is the only job that will make us happy,
and if we don't get this job, then we can't
be happy. We believe that this is the only way
we'll get to where we want to go to and
if we don't go it this way, then it won't happen.
If you are someone who believes there is only one
way to get to where you want to go. You
(06:11):
are living in problem mindset. Now, someone who's living in
a possibility mindset will say, let me find another way.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
There must be another way.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
The back door, the trap door, the secret door, the
revolving door. There are so many other doors than the
front door. That is a possibility mindset. There's windows, right,
there's cap flaps. I'm totally going off where you get
the point. The idea is you want to train yourself
(06:42):
to remember there's always another way, There's always another door,
there's always another possibility. You have to look deeply search
for that possibility. Thomas Edison once said, when you believe
you've exhausted all options, remember this you haven't. I remember,
(07:03):
at a certain point in my life I believed that
the way to making a living was through having a job. Now,
that's totally normal and totally fine, and there's nothing wrong
with that, right, that's normal, and if you're successful at
your job, things are going fine for you. That's actually
an amazing way. But as someone who realized how insecure
that was at times, I recognized that I needed to
(07:28):
have multiple sources of income in order to be safe
because I wasn't doing a job I loved or a
job that I was doing, you know, propelling at and
to me, this was a really really important learning that
there was another way to live.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It never even occurred to me before that that you
could have multiple revenue streams. So that was a way
of living at one point in my life. As crazy
as it sounds, I really didn't believe there were many jobs.
In my head, you could only be in a couple
of jobs, because everyone around tell me was in a
couple of jobs. So I didn't even know you could
be in media, or be in journalism or be in communications.
(08:06):
I didn't know roles like that existed. It's fascinating to think,
but it's true. I'm sure there are times in your
life where you didn't believe there were certain types of
music and you discovered a new type of music. And
this is what it's all about, discovery. When we're living
in a possibility mindset, we're allowing ourselves to discover, We're
(08:26):
allowing ourselves to unravel reveal something. So I want you
to think about where in your life have you developed
a problem mindset where you look for the problems and
you think, oh, this is the only way and it's
not working. I've failed and how can you challenge yourself?
How can you push yourself to actually look for the
(08:49):
possibilities even when it seems like there are none. Right,
remember those words of Thomas Edison. When you believe you've
exhausted all options, remember this, you haven't. When you think
you've exhausted all options, when you think you've been down
every path, I promise you there's another one. If you
really care about the goal, keep trying a new path.
(09:11):
If you don't care about the goal, and change your goal.
But if you care about the goal, keep finding a
new path. Now, if you're living in a problem mindset,
when you see a plan, when you see your goal,
you actually just see a list of issues.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
If you're living in a problem mindset, you're someone who,
even though you have a goal, even though you have
a habit, you want to build maybe of a physical goal,
a mental goal, an emotional goal, a career goal. But
all you do is you think, oh God, I got
too much to do, Oh gosh I need to be there.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Oh that's not going to happen.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Right. Instead, someone with the possibility mindset will list out
all the areas of growth. They'll list out the skills
that they have in order to get there, and they'll
list out the gaps as well. Notice how that that's
a different mindset. There's a different mindset between listing the
issues and listing the problems and then listing areas of growth. Now,
(10:07):
this is what I wanted to do as a practical step.
Make a list of everything you have ever achieved. Right,
make a list of everything you've ever achieved. It could
be the developing of a skill, it could be a qualification,
it could be a degree, whatever it may be. It
could be a job promotion. And ask yourself two questions. One,
what are the skills that you developed or have that
(10:29):
helped you get there? And second of all, was that
a traditional route you took or did you take an
untraditional route. The first question is important because you have
to realize that you have skills in order to get
to where you want to get to, and some of
the problems that you're pursuing or some of the problems
you're facing, you actually have the skills to solve those problems.
(10:50):
You've actually done that before. And the second question is
important to help you realize that often you may have
done things in a slightly different way. You might have
done things in a roundabout way. There is plenty of
possibility that you approach things differently. And when I practice
my possibility mindset, if I have a goal, I always
(11:11):
look at it and go, okay, what would I need
to learn?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Okay? What would I need to develop? Okay? Great? Where
do I need to start? Right?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Rather than looking at like, all right, this is going
to get in the way, this is going to get
in the way, I would say this is going to
get in the way, but how do I create a
plan around that?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That's the difference between possibility and positivity thinking. Positivity thinking
is thinking, well, everything's going to go great, Everything's going
to go to plan, there's no issues. Possibility thinking is yeah,
I know that's a possibility, but how can I make
it less of a probability?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
That's what possibility thinking is. I know that's a possibility.
I know it's possible that things could go wrong, But
how do I reduce that probability and actually have a
proactivity approach to solving it if and when it happens.
That's a possibility mindset. This segment about possibility is brought
(12:05):
to you by AT and T. AT and T believes
connecting changes everything. Sometimes we're our own worst enemy and
our own harshest critics, and this self doubt often prevents
us from reaching our full potential. It doesn't just affect
us individually, it can also hold back our teams and
entire organizations. This is what we call default thinking. It's
(12:26):
when we get stuck in our usual ways of thinking,
limiting our options, stifling creativity, and stopping us from exploring
all the different ideas and opportunities that are out there.
To open the door for more opportunities and possibilities, we
need to shift from default thinking to scenario thinking. Scenario
thinking simply means being able to think about multiple different
(12:47):
possibilities at the same time and being ready to act
when opportunities come our way. When you adopt this strategy,
you start thinking what if instead of this is our
only option or we don't have another choice. This change
in how you think will gradually make you see things
from a different perspective, one that's curious and open to
new experiences. As you get used to this what if approach,
(13:11):
you'll discover a whole world of options and solutions you
might not have seen before. This newfound flexibility can be
the key to achieving great success in your personal and
professional life because it equips you to deal with the
ever changing challenges and opportunities that come your way. So
how do you make this shift a scenario thinking and
open up more possibilities. Here are a few practical steps.
(13:34):
Don't let fear hold you back. Face your fears and
doubts head on. Understand that fear can often stop you
from exploring new ideas. By acknowledging and pushing past these fears,
you can start thinking about different options without hesitation.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Two.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Think about what you want to achieve. Begin with a
clear picture of what you want to accomplish. When you
have a goal in mind, it's easier to explore different
parts that can lead you there. Visualizing your success can
motivate you to make changes.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Three. Come up with different options. Actively.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Brainstorm various possibilities, even ones that may seem a bit
unusual or risky Initially. By considering a wide range of options,
you increase your chances of finding creative solutions.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Four.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Identify and assess your stakeholders. Think about the people or
groups who might be affected by your decisions or actions.
Engage with them to get a variety of perspectives and feedback.
This collaborative approach can help you make better, more informed choices.
The next time you hit a roadblock, exercise those four
ways to find more creative solutions for your next challenge.
(14:37):
This has been brought to you by AT and T.
AT and T believes connecting inspires, unites, heals, and helps
us grow. Connecting changes how we live our lives for
the better.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Now.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Someone who's got a problem mindset relies on doing things
in the mind alone, and someone in the possibility mindset
realizes you have to take action. So what I mean
by that is, if you're thinking about problems, you usually
just think about them in your head and you go, yeah,
that one work, that won't work, that won't work, and
(15:09):
you're trying to figure it out in your head. It's
almost like mental gymnastics or mental arithmetic. It's like trying
to solve a math problem in your head when you're
not that good at math, right, And so what's so
interesting about that is you just keep going round around
in circles in your mind trying to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Rather than just taking action.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Again, it comes back to that proactive possibility mindset. How
can we take action? How can we move forward. How
can we just take one step? If you're struggling with
problem thinking, it's because you're being blocked to actually take
a step. The step could be ordering a book. The
(15:47):
step could be taking a class. The step could be
doing a course. The step could be trying it once right,
the step, the action doesn't have to be a big risk.
It doesn't mean you have to take on a huge
burden or carry a huge weight. It can truly be
the simplest step forward. So the next one is the problem.
(16:08):
Mindset says nothing is ever enough. We always forget that
where we are today is somewhere we once probably dreamed of. Right,
there are things that you have achieved today that once
upon a time you are ambitious to pursue. There are
things that you have attained today that at one point
(16:30):
you can believe you could get to. It could have
been a job, it could have been a partner, it
could have been a financial position. Please, please please think
about this for a second. But nothing is ever enough.
It's always about what's next. That's problem thinking. Why, Because
if we're always wondering what's next, then even when we
get to next will be lost in what's next. It
(16:54):
just keeps going on and on, Whereas a possibility mindset says,
I'm grateful for what I have, but I'm excited for
what i'm growing for. Right, I'm grateful for what I have,
but I'm excited for what i'm growing for. There's this
balanced approach. Notice how I'm not just putting forward the
other extreme. Life isn't just about saying I'm at one extreme.
(17:15):
How do I get to the other extreme? I'm negative,
Let's get a positive. I'm not grateful, let's be grateful.
It doesn't work like that. That's too simple. The answer
is far more gray. The answer is not black and white.
The answer is not on one or the other side.
So how can we really develop this mindset? The first
is when you're grateful for what you have, you don't
(17:37):
have to just be content. I think people mistake gratitude
with saying I don't want more, Right, that's not what
gratitude is. Gratitude is I appreciate where I am. I
appreciate myself for half far I've come. If you're climbing
up a mountain and half of the mountain you're like,
I'm grateful to myself for getting half way up, You're
going to get the energy. It's going to give you
the boost you need to get the other half. Whereas
(18:00):
if you're looking at it going gosh, I've still got
half left to go. I haven't achieved anything. Do you
think that mindset's gonna help rather than the mindset of
this is amazing, I'm doing great.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
All right, let's push forward. Right.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
You can either motivate yourself out of love and compassion
and gratitude, or you can motivate yourself out of fear
and anxiety. Now, fear and anxiety get you started, don't
get me wrong. They work, but they don't get you far.
Fear and anxiety will get you started, but they won't
get you far, whereas love gratitude will get you far
(18:32):
on the journey of life. If you can talk to
yourself with compassion, talk to yourself with grace, talk to
yourself with love, you'll actually be able to push forward. Now,
this is where it really shows up, and you might
see this more on your friends, but I want you
to notice in yourself. If you have a problem mindset,
you're likely to discourage others when others share their ideas,
(18:54):
when others share their thoughts, you might be like a
that's never gonna work. Oh yeah, did you hear so
and so's starting an app or did you know that
person started a podcast, or did you know that person's
trying out something. You know, whatever it may be, we'll
find another way to constantly make it feel like that's
not gonna work. And I think we do that all
(19:14):
the time. Sometimes we do it, sometimes our friends do it.
We kind of discount what is possible for other people.
We talk down on other people's dreams, We make other
people's beliefs feel like they're not going to work, right.
I think this happens a lot, and it happens to
many many of us where we just don't realize how
(19:40):
limiting we are of other people because we've developed a
problem mindset. Or when your friend tells you an idea,
instead of thinking about how it could be good, you
think about all the problems do you think you're helping?
And by the way, telling someone the challenges they may
face is a good thing, But you're not also taking
a moment to say, well, that could work, that could happen,
what about this?
Speaker 2 (20:00):
What about that?
Speaker 1 (20:01):
And by the way, the reason I'm saying this is
I remember pitching my ideas to so many people who
wrote me off. And I've seen how easy it is
to write other people off as well. It doesn't take
a brain cell to write someone off, yet we all
do it. So a problem mindset person discourages others, whereas
a possibility mindset person talks about the possibilities. Hey have
(20:23):
you thought about this possibility? Hey, have you thought about
this possibility? By the way, this possibility may be an
obstacle or a challenge, and this possibility may be a
way out. Have you thought about it like this? You're
not telling them to do it or not to do it.
You're not also replying and just saying, oh, you're amazing,
this is the best idea. I wish you all the best.
It's going to be incredible. You don't want to lie
to your friends either. But think about that for a second,
(20:46):
right When and how can you help others as opposed
to discourage others. That's the problem versus the possibility mindset. Now,
this one's a huge one. The problem mindset doesn't choose
their words carefully. It chooses words carelessly, and the possibility
(21:09):
mindset chooses thoughts and words extremely carefully. Look at the
difference between this. You can either say I can't do
this right, or you can say how can I do this?
You can either say it won't work or what can
I do to make it work? Notice how you're not
just saying I can make anything work, I can do
(21:30):
anything right. You're not just lying to yourself and again
using these very empty statements. You're actually twisting the thought
into a question. So instead of I can't do this,
asking yourself how can I do this? Instead of saying
that won't work? What can I do to make it work?
Notice how when you turn it into a question, you
take responsibility for your journey. You take accountability for your journey.
(21:55):
You take this purpose to do something about it. So
one of my friends asked me the other day. They
were like, Jay, does this thought stuff really work? Now?
I think the reason why people think this thought stuff
doesn't work is people think it's spiritual, And actually it's
more coding than it is spiritual. When you say something
to your brain, when you say something in your mind,
(22:18):
you are simply coding, right, That's what it is. You're
saying something that you're going to repeat. And the question
you want to ask yourself is is this coding? Is
this repeated thought helping me get to where I want
to get to. Chances are repeating I can't do this
is not going to lead to something creative. Right, Chances
(22:39):
of you saying this won't work means it probably won't work. Right.
That isn't going to happen. So the question mark is
can you do it by asking yourself the question? Right?
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Can you switch that mindset? Now?
Speaker 1 (22:53):
When you start to switch the thought to how do
I do this? How do I figure it out?
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Guess what?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
You start figuring it out, you start answering the question.
When you start answering the question, you start seeing change. Right,
You start seeing change. So changing your thoughts is not
just some spiritual activity. Changing your thoughts is rewiring your coding.
Another thing you might find in the problem mindset of
people around you is they think they're an expert. Right,
(23:21):
they think they're an expert. Whereas people of the possibility
mindset think like a beginner. A lot of problem mindset
people will be like, oh yeah, that won't work because
of this, this and this. Oh yeah, I saw that once.
Whereas a possibility mindset goes I'm willing to learn, I'm
ready to sit with masters to figure out what to
do here, right, I'm willing to figure it out. And
(23:42):
this also tips over to the next point, which is
armchair philosophers. A lot of people. You may have a
lot of friends who talk on WhatsApp groups, who talk
on text groups, they're always just armchair philosophy.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
They don't take any action.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
They just talk big things, whereas a possibility mindset finds
people who are doing big things. Right, ask yourself, are
you surrounded by people who talk about big things? Or
are you surrounded by people who do big things? And
what I mean by that is even people who do
big things have to talk about them first. But are
you around people who just have big conversations, deep conversations
(24:15):
in order to sound smart and feel like they're doing
great work and make themselves feel smart and all the
rest of it, or are you actually around people who
are like taking strides in their life. If you want
to grow, if you want to develop a positivity mindset,
you have to be around people who think in possibility,
(24:35):
who are making possibility happen, who are making shifts happen
in your life and their life and everyone's lives. Right,
it rubs off and in order to do that, we
have to study people who made the impossible possible. We
have to consider others crazy ideas to be possible. We
(24:55):
have to find that abundance community, and I think so
often we've just surrounded ourselves by so many people who
are constantly negative and down about their own life, your life,
everyone's life that we adopt that. Thank you so much
for listening to on Purpose today. I'm so grateful for
your time and energy. Please share the practice that you
(25:16):
will be putting interaction in your life.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Thank you for joining again.
I'm grateful for what I have, but I'm excited for
what I'm growing for. There's this balanced approach. Notice how
I'm not just putting forward the other extreme. Life isn't
just about saying I'm at one extreme. How do I
get to the other extreme? I'm negative, Let's get a positive.
I'm not grateful, Let's be grateful. It doesn't work like that.
That's too simple. The answer is far more gray. The
(00:22):
answer is not black and white. The answer is not
on one or the other side. Hey, everyone, welcome back
to On Purpose, to number one health podcast in the world.
Thanks to each and every one of you that come
back every week to listen, learn and grow. Thank you
(00:42):
so much for tuning in, turning up for your transformation.
I am so so happy to get to spend this
time with you every day, every week, multiple.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Times a day maybe.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
And I want to thank all of you that have
been leaving reviews. I'm always learning, I'm always trying to
improve with your feedback, always trying to make this better.
And I'm so happy that we've always kept this absolutely free.
The podcast has been free since day one. You have
over four and a half year's worth of content. That's
available makes you go back and listen to incredible episodes
(01:16):
all the way back in twenty nineteen and just last week.
So today I want to talk about something really important.
And I think a lot of the time we've heard
a lot about positive thinking. It's all about positivity, they say.
And I think as time's gone on, we've all realized
that positivity or positive thinking doesn't really work, because when
(01:41):
we tell someone to be positive, what we're telling them
to do is think good things right Just be positive,
ignore the negative, Ignore what's wrong in your life right now.
Don't accept your emotions or your feelings, don't acknowledge what
you're going through. Just be positi So someone says to
(02:01):
you like, oh, I'm really worried that I may not
get this job. Oh, just be positive, you'll get it.
And then it comes around and they didn't get their job,
and they said, well, I was being positive. Why didn't
I get it? The truth is, maybe there was feedback,
maybe there was a lesson, maybe there was learning. Maybe
that job wasn't right for them, Maybe they didn't try
hard enough. Maybe they needed to understand their feeling of
(02:26):
worry and know how to transform it and move away
from anxiety. But telling someone to be positive doesn't get
them the result they want, and it stops them from
dealing with the emotion right, Telling someone to be positive
doesn't get them the result, and it stops them from
acknowledging how they're feeling. So I think toxic positivity has
(02:50):
been around for a long time, and often people assume
if someone's telling you to think bigger or think more mindfully,
than they're saying be positive. And I don't think that's
the case. So I want you to know that today
I'm not telling you to be positive. I'm not trying
you to just get you to think about the good
things in life. That is not what I'm encouraging you
(03:11):
to do, because I think there's a lot more to
it than that simple statement. Now, there's three types of thinking,
positive thinking, problem thinking, and possibility thinking. I want to
talk to a bit about problem thinking, the opposite end.
So if positivity is one extreme where you force yourself
to just be like everything's gonna work out, everything's gonna
(03:31):
be great, everything's amazing, right, which it isn't. You have
to do stuff, you have to work through stuff, you
have to figure things out. The other extreme is problem thinking,
everything's a problem, or I can never do that. That's
never gonna work out. That's impossible, that won't work for me.
I can't do it, It's not gonna happen. Right, we do
(03:51):
the opposite. Just as we were blindly being positive, we're
now blindly being negative. Just as we were being positive
for the being positive, we're now being negative for the
sake of being negative. Right, there was no basis, There
was no evidence to our positivity, and now there's no
evidence to our problems. We just keep pointing out the problems.
(04:13):
Even if someone presents a solution, we find the one
negative in that solution, and it just continues to go.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Round and around and round.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
So I want to present to you possibility thinking, right,
the possibility mindset. This isn't imagination, this isn't delusion. Possibility
mindset is saying, instead of being falsely positive, instead of
being falsely negative or falsely problem looking or problem spotting,
(04:43):
let me think in possibilities. Let me always look for
possibilities instead of problems. Let me look for what could happen,
what we could figure out. Let me look at what
and how we could approach it differently, Let me look
at what is possible. Let me look at the possible
over the impossible. Let me look at what's probable instead
(05:07):
of the impossible. Let me stop discounting or deflecting things
as just being full of problems, and let me actually
find the way. Now, the way I want to address
this is I want to share this with you as
if you have a possibility mindset or a problem mindset.
(05:28):
So if you have a problem mindset, you will believe
there is only one way. We do this in our careers,
we do this in our passions, we do this in
our marriages, we do this in our relationships. If you're
someone who believes there is only one way, it means
we're stuck in problem mindset. We believe this is the
(05:50):
only path, and if this path doesn't work for us,
then it will never work for us. We believe that
this is the only job that will make us happy,
and if we don't get this job, then we can't
be happy. We believe that this is the only way
we'll get to where we want to go to and
if we don't go it this way, then it won't happen.
If you are someone who believes there is only one
way to get to where you want to go. You
(06:11):
are living in problem mindset. Now, someone who's living in
a possibility mindset will say, let me find another way.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
There must be another way.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
The back door, the trap door, the secret door, the
revolving door. There are so many other doors than the
front door. That is a possibility mindset. There's windows, right,
there's cap flaps. I'm totally going off where you get
the point. The idea is you want to train yourself
(06:42):
to remember there's always another way, There's always another door,
there's always another possibility. You have to look deeply search
for that possibility. Thomas Edison once said, when you believe
you've exhausted all options, remember this you haven't. I remember,
(07:03):
at a certain point in my life I believed that
the way to making a living was through having a job. Now,
that's totally normal and totally fine, and there's nothing wrong
with that, right, that's normal, and if you're successful at
your job, things are going fine for you. That's actually
an amazing way. But as someone who realized how insecure
that was at times, I recognized that I needed to
(07:28):
have multiple sources of income in order to be safe
because I wasn't doing a job I loved or a
job that I was doing, you know, propelling at and
to me, this was a really really important learning that
there was another way to live.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
It never even occurred to me before that that you
could have multiple revenue streams. So that was a way
of living at one point in my life. As crazy
as it sounds, I really didn't believe there were many jobs.
In my head, you could only be in a couple
of jobs, because everyone around tell me was in a
couple of jobs. So I didn't even know you could
be in media, or be in journalism or be in communications.
(08:06):
I didn't know roles like that existed. It's fascinating to think,
but it's true. I'm sure there are times in your
life where you didn't believe there were certain types of
music and you discovered a new type of music. And
this is what it's all about, discovery. When we're living
in a possibility mindset, we're allowing ourselves to discover, We're
(08:26):
allowing ourselves to unravel reveal something. So I want you
to think about where in your life have you developed
a problem mindset where you look for the problems and
you think, oh, this is the only way and it's
not working. I've failed and how can you challenge yourself?
How can you push yourself to actually look for the
(08:49):
possibilities even when it seems like there are none. Right,
remember those words of Thomas Edison. When you believe you've
exhausted all options, remember this, you haven't. When you think
you've exhausted all options, when you think you've been down
every path, I promise you there's another one. If you
really care about the goal, keep trying a new path.
(09:11):
If you don't care about the goal, and change your goal.
But if you care about the goal, keep finding a
new path. Now, if you're living in a problem mindset,
when you see a plan, when you see your goal,
you actually just see a list of issues.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
If you're living in a problem mindset, you're someone who,
even though you have a goal, even though you have
a habit, you want to build maybe of a physical goal,
a mental goal, an emotional goal, a career goal. But
all you do is you think, oh God, I got
too much to do, Oh gosh I need to be there.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Oh that's not going to happen.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Right. Instead, someone with the possibility mindset will list out
all the areas of growth. They'll list out the skills
that they have in order to get there, and they'll
list out the gaps as well. Notice how that that's
a different mindset. There's a different mindset between listing the
issues and listing the problems and then listing areas of growth. Now,
(10:07):
this is what I wanted to do as a practical step.
Make a list of everything you have ever achieved. Right,
make a list of everything you've ever achieved. It could
be the developing of a skill, it could be a qualification,
it could be a degree, whatever it may be. It
could be a job promotion. And ask yourself two questions. One,
what are the skills that you developed or have that
(10:29):
helped you get there? And second of all, was that
a traditional route you took or did you take an
untraditional route. The first question is important because you have
to realize that you have skills in order to get
to where you want to get to, and some of
the problems that you're pursuing or some of the problems
you're facing, you actually have the skills to solve those problems.
(10:50):
You've actually done that before. And the second question is
important to help you realize that often you may have
done things in a slightly different way. You might have
done things in a roundabout way. There is plenty of
possibility that you approach things differently. And when I practice
my possibility mindset, if I have a goal, I always
(11:11):
look at it and go, okay, what would I need
to learn?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Okay? What would I need to develop? Okay? Great? Where
do I need to start? Right?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Rather than looking at like, all right, this is going
to get in the way, this is going to get
in the way, I would say this is going to
get in the way, but how do I create a
plan around that?
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That's the difference between possibility and positivity thinking. Positivity thinking
is thinking, well, everything's going to go great, Everything's going
to go to plan, there's no issues. Possibility thinking is yeah,
I know that's a possibility, but how can I make
it less of a probability?
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Right?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
That's what possibility thinking is. I know that's a possibility.
I know it's possible that things could go wrong, But
how do I reduce that probability and actually have a
proactivity approach to solving it if and when it happens.
That's a possibility mindset. This segment about possibility is brought
(12:05):
to you by AT and T. AT and T believes
connecting changes everything. Sometimes we're our own worst enemy and
our own harshest critics, and this self doubt often prevents
us from reaching our full potential. It doesn't just affect
us individually, it can also hold back our teams and
entire organizations. This is what we call default thinking. It's
(12:26):
when we get stuck in our usual ways of thinking,
limiting our options, stifling creativity, and stopping us from exploring
all the different ideas and opportunities that are out there.
To open the door for more opportunities and possibilities, we
need to shift from default thinking to scenario thinking. Scenario
thinking simply means being able to think about multiple different
(12:47):
possibilities at the same time and being ready to act
when opportunities come our way. When you adopt this strategy,
you start thinking what if instead of this is our
only option or we don't have another choice. This change
in how you think will gradually make you see things
from a different perspective, one that's curious and open to
new experiences. As you get used to this what if approach,
(13:11):
you'll discover a whole world of options and solutions you
might not have seen before. This newfound flexibility can be
the key to achieving great success in your personal and
professional life because it equips you to deal with the
ever changing challenges and opportunities that come your way. So
how do you make this shift a scenario thinking and
open up more possibilities. Here are a few practical steps.
(13:34):
Don't let fear hold you back. Face your fears and
doubts head on. Understand that fear can often stop you
from exploring new ideas. By acknowledging and pushing past these fears,
you can start thinking about different options without hesitation.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Two.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Think about what you want to achieve. Begin with a
clear picture of what you want to accomplish. When you
have a goal in mind, it's easier to explore different
parts that can lead you there. Visualizing your success can
motivate you to make changes.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Three. Come up with different options. Actively.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Brainstorm various possibilities, even ones that may seem a bit
unusual or risky Initially. By considering a wide range of options,
you increase your chances of finding creative solutions.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Four.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Identify and assess your stakeholders. Think about the people or
groups who might be affected by your decisions or actions.
Engage with them to get a variety of perspectives and feedback.
This collaborative approach can help you make better, more informed choices.
The next time you hit a roadblock, exercise those four
ways to find more creative solutions for your next challenge.
(14:37):
This has been brought to you by AT and T.
AT and T believes connecting inspires, unites, heals, and helps
us grow. Connecting changes how we live our lives for
the better.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Now.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Someone who's got a problem mindset relies on doing things
in the mind alone, and someone in the possibility mindset
realizes you have to take action. So what I mean
by that is, if you're thinking about problems, you usually
just think about them in your head and you go, yeah,
that one work, that won't work, that won't work, and
(15:09):
you're trying to figure it out in your head. It's
almost like mental gymnastics or mental arithmetic. It's like trying
to solve a math problem in your head when you're
not that good at math, right, And so what's so
interesting about that is you just keep going round around
in circles in your mind trying to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Rather than just taking action.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Again, it comes back to that proactive possibility mindset. How
can we take action? How can we move forward. How
can we just take one step? If you're struggling with
problem thinking, it's because you're being blocked to actually take
a step. The step could be ordering a book. The
(15:47):
step could be taking a class. The step could be
doing a course. The step could be trying it once right,
the step, the action doesn't have to be a big risk.
It doesn't mean you have to take on a huge
burden or carry a huge weight. It can truly be
the simplest step forward. So the next one is the problem.
(16:08):
Mindset says nothing is ever enough. We always forget that
where we are today is somewhere we once probably dreamed of. Right,
there are things that you have achieved today that once
upon a time you are ambitious to pursue. There are
things that you have attained today that at one point
(16:30):
you can believe you could get to. It could have
been a job, it could have been a partner, it
could have been a financial position. Please, please please think
about this for a second. But nothing is ever enough.
It's always about what's next. That's problem thinking. Why, Because
if we're always wondering what's next, then even when we
get to next will be lost in what's next. It
(16:54):
just keeps going on and on, Whereas a possibility mindset says,
I'm grateful for what I have, but I'm excited for
what i'm growing for. Right, I'm grateful for what I have,
but I'm excited for what i'm growing for. There's this
balanced approach. Notice how I'm not just putting forward the
other extreme. Life isn't just about saying I'm at one extreme.
(17:15):
How do I get to the other extreme? I'm negative,
Let's get a positive. I'm not grateful, let's be grateful.
It doesn't work like that. That's too simple. The answer
is far more gray. The answer is not black and white.
The answer is not on one or the other side.
So how can we really develop this mindset? The first
is when you're grateful for what you have, you don't
(17:37):
have to just be content. I think people mistake gratitude
with saying I don't want more, Right, that's not what
gratitude is. Gratitude is I appreciate where I am. I
appreciate myself for half far I've come. If you're climbing
up a mountain and half of the mountain you're like,
I'm grateful to myself for getting half way up, You're
going to get the energy. It's going to give you
the boost you need to get the other half. Whereas
(18:00):
if you're looking at it going gosh, I've still got
half left to go. I haven't achieved anything. Do you
think that mindset's gonna help rather than the mindset of
this is amazing, I'm doing great.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
All right, let's push forward. Right.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
You can either motivate yourself out of love and compassion
and gratitude, or you can motivate yourself out of fear
and anxiety. Now, fear and anxiety get you started, don't
get me wrong. They work, but they don't get you far.
Fear and anxiety will get you started, but they won't
get you far, whereas love gratitude will get you far
(18:32):
on the journey of life. If you can talk to
yourself with compassion, talk to yourself with grace, talk to
yourself with love, you'll actually be able to push forward. Now,
this is where it really shows up, and you might
see this more on your friends, but I want you
to notice in yourself. If you have a problem mindset,
you're likely to discourage others when others share their ideas,
(18:54):
when others share their thoughts, you might be like a
that's never gonna work. Oh yeah, did you hear so
and so's starting an app or did you know that
person started a podcast, or did you know that person's
trying out something. You know, whatever it may be, we'll
find another way to constantly make it feel like that's
not gonna work. And I think we do that all
(19:14):
the time. Sometimes we do it, sometimes our friends do it.
We kind of discount what is possible for other people.
We talk down on other people's dreams, We make other
people's beliefs feel like they're not going to work, right.
I think this happens a lot, and it happens to
many many of us where we just don't realize how
(19:40):
limiting we are of other people because we've developed a
problem mindset. Or when your friend tells you an idea,
instead of thinking about how it could be good, you
think about all the problems do you think you're helping?
And by the way, telling someone the challenges they may
face is a good thing, But you're not also taking
a moment to say, well, that could work, that could happen,
what about this?
Speaker 2 (20:00):
What about that?
Speaker 1 (20:01):
And by the way, the reason I'm saying this is
I remember pitching my ideas to so many people who
wrote me off. And I've seen how easy it is
to write other people off as well. It doesn't take
a brain cell to write someone off, yet we all
do it. So a problem mindset person discourages others, whereas
a possibility mindset person talks about the possibilities. Hey have
(20:23):
you thought about this possibility? Hey, have you thought about
this possibility? By the way, this possibility may be an
obstacle or a challenge, and this possibility may be a
way out. Have you thought about it like this? You're
not telling them to do it or not to do it.
You're not also replying and just saying, oh, you're amazing,
this is the best idea. I wish you all the best.
It's going to be incredible. You don't want to lie
to your friends either. But think about that for a second,
(20:46):
right When and how can you help others as opposed
to discourage others. That's the problem versus the possibility mindset. Now,
this one's a huge one. The problem mindset doesn't choose
their words carefully. It chooses words carelessly, and the possibility
(21:09):
mindset chooses thoughts and words extremely carefully. Look at the
difference between this. You can either say I can't do
this right, or you can say how can I do this?
You can either say it won't work or what can
I do to make it work? Notice how you're not
just saying I can make anything work, I can do
(21:30):
anything right. You're not just lying to yourself and again
using these very empty statements. You're actually twisting the thought
into a question. So instead of I can't do this,
asking yourself how can I do this? Instead of saying
that won't work? What can I do to make it work?
Notice how when you turn it into a question, you
take responsibility for your journey. You take accountability for your journey.
(21:55):
You take this purpose to do something about it. So
one of my friends asked me the other day. They
were like, Jay, does this thought stuff really work? Now?
I think the reason why people think this thought stuff
doesn't work is people think it's spiritual, And actually it's
more coding than it is spiritual. When you say something
to your brain, when you say something in your mind,
(22:18):
you are simply coding, right, That's what it is. You're
saying something that you're going to repeat. And the question
you want to ask yourself is is this coding? Is
this repeated thought helping me get to where I want
to get to. Chances are repeating I can't do this
is not going to lead to something creative. Right, Chances
(22:39):
of you saying this won't work means it probably won't work. Right.
That isn't going to happen. So the question mark is
can you do it by asking yourself the question? Right?
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Can you switch that mindset? Now?
Speaker 1 (22:53):
When you start to switch the thought to how do
I do this? How do I figure it out?
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Guess what?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
You start figuring it out, you start answering the question.
When you start answering the question, you start seeing change. Right,
You start seeing change. So changing your thoughts is not
just some spiritual activity. Changing your thoughts is rewiring your coding.
Another thing you might find in the problem mindset of
people around you is they think they're an expert. Right,
(23:21):
they think they're an expert. Whereas people of the possibility
mindset think like a beginner. A lot of problem mindset
people will be like, oh yeah, that won't work because
of this, this and this. Oh yeah, I saw that once.
Whereas a possibility mindset goes I'm willing to learn, I'm
ready to sit with masters to figure out what to
do here, right, I'm willing to figure it out. And
(23:42):
this also tips over to the next point, which is
armchair philosophers. A lot of people. You may have a
lot of friends who talk on WhatsApp groups, who talk
on text groups, they're always just armchair philosophy.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
They don't take any action.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
They just talk big things, whereas a possibility mindset finds
people who are doing big things. Right, ask yourself, are
you surrounded by people who talk about big things? Or
are you surrounded by people who do big things? And
what I mean by that is even people who do
big things have to talk about them first. But are
you around people who just have big conversations, deep conversations
(24:15):
in order to sound smart and feel like they're doing
great work and make themselves feel smart and all the
rest of it, or are you actually around people who
are like taking strides in their life. If you want
to grow, if you want to develop a positivity mindset,
you have to be around people who think in possibility,
(24:35):
who are making possibility happen, who are making shifts happen
in your life and their life and everyone's lives. Right,
it rubs off and in order to do that, we
have to study people who made the impossible possible. We
have to consider others crazy ideas to be possible. We
(24:55):
have to find that abundance community, and I think so
often we've just surrounded ourselves by so many people who
are constantly negative and down about their own life, your life,
everyone's life that we adopt that. Thank you so much
for listening to on Purpose today. I'm so grateful for
your time and energy. Please share the practice that you
(25:16):
will be putting interaction in your life.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Thank you for joining again.
Host
Jay Shetty
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.