July 21, 2025 • 42 mins
Join hosts Misty Lynch and Meghan Dwyer as they chat with Melena Carbary, private wealth manager and advocate for women's financial empowerment. In this episode, they dive into practical steps women can take to build financial confidence, regardless of background or circumstances.
Where to find Melana Carbary
melanacarbaryburningriverag
Website: enlightenher.com
Where to find Misty
Websites:
- Melena’s unique path from a creative background to becoming a financial advisor
- The importance of financial literacy and mindset for women of all ages
- Overcoming barriers and shame that often hold women back from financial engagement
- Actionable first steps for women to get involved and organized with their finances
- How financial empowerment impacts both daily life and long-term security
Where to find Melana Carbary
melanacarbaryburningriverag
Website: enlightenher.com
Where to find Misty
Websites:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Demist Defying Money Podcast, where each week
you will hear unforgettable conversations with expert guests about success, money, business,
and small steps you can take to elevate your life
and wealth. Now here's your host, Misty Lynch.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hi, everyone, thank you so much for joining us for
this episode of the Deemist Defying Money Podcast. I'm your host,
Missy Lynch, and I'm joined by Melayna Carbaret. She is
a private wealth manager with Burning River Advisory Group in Westlake.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Ohio, and she helps women.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
She's another CFP, another women financial planner, helping us ladies
out there figure out our finances and build that financial
strength and independence so that we can handle all of
the different things that life throws at us. She works
with a lot of women in transition, whether they're newly divorced,
whether they are contemplating retirement, all of these things that
sometimes that financial empowerment. Maybe we didn't have the best
(00:57):
role model or somebody to speak to, or don't really
know what we should what we.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Don't know sometimes, so that's who she helps.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
So I'm excited to talk to her today and also
about her work in financial empowerment for women. Because I
think it's such an important area, especially for women who
feel that they don't have the knowledge or the skills
to make good financial decisions at any age. But how
we can help women at you know, all stages of
the life feel more confident so that they can do
(01:25):
more good out there in the world.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
So, thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
I'm very excited to be here and like I said,
excited to talk to another female CMP.
Speaker 6 (01:34):
This episode of Demystifying Money with Misty Lynch is proudly
sponsored by Soundview Financial Advisors. Visit www dot Soundview Financial
Advisors dot com to learn more.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I'd love to hear more about, you know, how you
came into this, into this work. I know this is
definitely a line of work that you know, I enjoy,
But how did you get into What did you think
you would you doing? You know, when you first you know,
when you were in college or once you first entered
the working world, and how did you land here helping
the people that you helped today.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Yeah, that's actually a really great question, and it loops
back into empowering women in a sort of a way. So,
you know, there's so many barriers to women in finance,
and we think, oh, I wasn't trained in this, and
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I nobody told me how to do these things.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
So my background, I actually have a a degree, an
associate's degree in floral design and marketing and so more
of a creative background. And I knew that having an
associate's degree wasn't going to get me where I wanted
to go in life, and so I stayed in school
and got my bachelor's and I was trying to apply
for a job in the floral industry. It's dating myself
(02:46):
a bit, but I was required to post my resume
on hot jobs dot Com in order to apply for
this job I was trying to get. And in the
process of doing that, a company was called American Express
Financial Advisors at the time reached out to me and
was like, Hey, we want to interview you for this
potential financial advisor position. And I was like what. But
(03:07):
sort of ironically it was a coincidentally. I did have
a little bit of an interest and I thought, Oh,
if I ever use this business degree for anything other
than like the floral the creative, I would be kind
of interested in finance. And so it was just this
really strange kind of coincidence. And I took the interview,
(03:27):
and then I took the second interview, and then I
took the final.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Interview, and I took the job.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
And I remember my mom saying to me, you know, Molina,
even if this doesn't work out, you're gonna learn so
much in your first job out of college about how
to manage your money for the rest of your life.
And she's like, even if the career doesn't work for you,
what you're gonna learn is gonna be.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
With you the rest of your life.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
And I thought it was such great insight and advice,
and so I came into the industry. I was not
classically trained in finance. I have a business degree, but
much more heavily focused on biology and creative you know stuff.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
So yeah, I think it's interesting. You know, finance is
something that it touches everything.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I don't think there's.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Really any you know field that having knowledge when it
comes to like financial literacy or how you know, investing works,
anything like that.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
It helps in so many different ways.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
So I feel like whenever I, you know, meet people,
even if they're entrepreneurs who own, you know, a flower
shopper or retail store. I'm like, you own a business,
you understand way more than you think, even if you
don't think that you understand money or finance or you're
good with that, and so I love that. You know,
sometimes it's interesting. I know, I graduated college in two
(04:49):
thousand and two. The job market was not exactly very strong.
It was definitely kind of I was taking any interviews
then would come my way. And I think sometimes too,
it is important to be open minded, even if you're
in a field that's like adjacent to what you're doing,
or just to kind of think of ways that you
can make you know, we said, things can eventually work out,
especially if you have an open mind to it. So
(05:11):
that's really cool, I think. And also I love the
creative aspect of all of that. I'm sure, yeah, there's
easy could loop that into your work.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I'm sure always Yeah.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Well, and I think that so many people think were
our minds either are creative or they're analytical, and there
I know that there are people whose minds work both ways,
but at this think it goes to show that you
can be both. And just because you maybe lean creative
doesn't mean you can't learn finance. I am twenty years
in this career teaching other women about finance, and I wasn't,
(05:48):
like I said, I wasn't classically trained in it. It
wasn't the direction I was going for my career.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
And yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
An excellent point though, because I think we do like
to think that, especially when it comes to money, that
I'm not analytical or I'm a creative, I'm an artist.
I'm this where saying that, I think a lot of
people assume that means that I can't be good at both,
or I can't do both, or that actually, like it's
beneath me to be you know, analytical or look at
the numbers or look at that. And so I think
(06:18):
that especially for people who are in business for themselves, oh,
who are managing a household budget or their finances, you
can't opt out of having understanding these numbers and these
important things. So I think it is important to try
not to be all or none where you can say, oh,
I'm good at this, so I'm not creative, Like there's
plenty of ways to be creative even if you are
(06:39):
a math person, but also in the other respects, like
you can't you can't necessarily opt out. So I think
that's something you know, you talk a lot about in
your in your work and online about you know, finance
and psychology, so kind of these these different aspects of
you know, you mentioned not being classically trained in finance,
and I think that even doing that and learning, you know,
(07:03):
you don't learn a lot about the psychology or the
way people think or they make decisions. And it's interesting
because all of us make decisions because we want to
feel differently, our financial decisions are not because it is
in our it is the best financial move, No, nor dash,
and nobody would be doing all of these things. So
(07:23):
how do you feel that your perspective on you know,
or your interest in that the mindset work has shaped
the way that you help people interact with money.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Yeah, that's let me think about that a minute.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
You know, when I came into the industry, it seemed
like such common sense, Oh, who.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Wouldn't want to do financial planning?
Speaker 5 (07:46):
Like this is going to be so easy, And as
you probably know, it isn't. And so I think the
behavioral side, the psychology side, is very interesting because it
starts to get at the root of why someone wouldn't
want to do financial planning.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
What are the barriers, What are the roadblocks?
Speaker 5 (08:08):
There's a lot of shame depending on the situation people
are coming from or bringing to you. And so I
just don't think you can have one without the other.
I think you need to address the emotional and the behavioral,
the psychological what's leading to some of these decisions and
choices before you can really start to help that person
move forward in a productive long term way financially. And
(08:33):
so I think doing we're both cfps, so we're trained
in the certified financial Planning process, that ongoing financial planning model.
I think doing that and really getting to know clients
through that process and that model ongoing relationship, you start
to see more the pitfalls of human beings, right, we
(08:54):
all have them. You start to see them, and then
you can start to really help them plan with those
in how can we set things up to kind of
save you from yourself, save you from your behaviors, from
your your pitfalls. And so I really at this point
don't think you can have one without the other. And
when I think about building a foundation for someone to
(09:16):
plan from, like you start with the foundation and build
up I think that foundation, you have to address the
you know, money mindset with that foundation, in that foundation, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
There's definitely.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
It's it's interesting being in this work because you're right,
you'd assume, well, who wouldn't want to do this? And
I think there's a lot of people, you know, whether
you're a health coach or you're this, like of course
everybody wants this, but we are dealing with something that
people have definitely, you know, built their feelings around or
their thoughts on, so much so that they believe that
they're untrue, that they're facts, and that you can't you know, well,
(09:52):
obviously if I have more money, like rich people are this,
or and or all of the things that people might
think that that hold them back or kind of you
want where these thoughts and beliefs came from. And we
don't spend a lot of time exploring that. We don't
spend a lot of time poking holes at the things
that we've just heard our whole lives. And so I
think that that's something that's important to recognize when you
work with clients, that everybody is going to have something
(10:14):
and they might strongly believe it, you know, and it's
important to kind of notice that, and as you mentioned,
kind of setting things up to keep them from behaviors
that maybe they've been repeating. It isn't necessarily just saying
you're wrong, that's bad, don't do that, because we'll do
things anyway, but it might be okay. When you get overwhelmed,
you tend to, you know, maybe kind of forget about things.
(10:38):
So maybe we set things up for automatic payments, or
maybe we do things in a different way where you
know that you're going to need a break every once
in a while, or things like that to kind of
help people use their money in a way that helps
them build a life. But I think there's definitely a
lot of you know, there's a lot of fears and
there's a lot of insecurity sometimes when it comes to
(10:59):
win where maybe they haven't necessarily felt that they were
great with money, or they tend to feel like somebody's
handled it forever better than them, whether it be a
parent or a spouse.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
How do you help.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Women when maybe maybe they're coming to you because they
have to take control of their finances because they're widowed
or they have no choice. What How do you help
those people who maybe really feel insecure build that confidence.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 5 (11:29):
I think it's a slow process, but just constantly encouraging
and walking side by side with that person, having them
bring their tablet in or their computer in and helping
them set things up. You know, it just it slows
us down, like our we're we're not working with this
person at sixty miles an hour anymore.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
We're slowed down to maybe.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Twenty miles an hour and going back to the basics
and you know, really to spending time with the client
and helping her learn how to do these things for
the first time and.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Telling her that she can do them. You can do this.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
There's nothing about you that is inequipped, unequipped to do this.
You just are unfamiliar and so you know, it's you're
learning something new. And a lot of times the women
who are learning these new things, they're older and so
they're learning something new on technology as well that they're
maybe not one hundred percent familiar with.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
So the.
Speaker 5 (12:29):
Roadblocks or the barriers the walls are a little bit
higher that we have to help them get through. So
maybe we're not only helping them pay a bill, figure
out what bills need to be paid, but they're paying
it online. Yeah, so's there's definitely challenges. I go back
to trying to help prevent that from happening. We're never
(12:50):
gonna We're always going to have women who come into
our office who are in find themselves in this situation.
But one of our big goals is to get ahead
of that, to try to empower women, no matter what
age you are, to start to get involved in your
household finances. Even if your husband's always done it, he's
done a fantastic job, or your partners always handled things.
(13:12):
Get involved, ask to sit down, and you have them
walk you through it. Try to get ahead of that
you know where you can. And for women that you know,
maybe don't know exactly that their husband's doing it the
right way. We've had women say, hey, like we're laid
on our credit card bill, like this isn't working and
(13:33):
I don't want to take another thing on my plate.
But if you're going to take another thing on your plate,
this is a good one to take on. This is
your money, it's your financial future, it's your credit score,
it's your bank account. This is a great one to
take on. So we try to encourage women to get
involved to try and prevent having that that wife, that
(13:56):
widow walk in our doors taking it on abruptly.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
What do you think is causing or what do you
think has kind of you know, had you know, caused
women sometimes to have that.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
To avoid getting deeply engaged in their finances.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Have you like, because I know that this is something
that I've never I've never experienced personally because I always
you know, have been involved in, you know, interested in finance,
do it as a profession. Felt very comfortable talking you know,
to anybody about it. But I definitely know like a
lot of people do feel like that is not an
(14:32):
area that they want to get involved in. They would
rather have their you know, head in the sand than
know what's really going on.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Why is that? Why does that feel safer for some people?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:43):
I think somewhat you we've not been raised to It's
not been demonstrated to us. I was very fortunate. I'd
be curious to know what example you had said for me.
But my mom handled the finances. I met with a.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Young younger younger than me, lady to day.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Who is single, and she is on top of it,
She's doing a great job with her money, and she
told me that her mom managed and still manages the
household finances. And so I just think there's something with
what we've been with, what has been demonstrated to us
that matters. So again going back to how do we
get ahead of this. The more women we get who
(15:22):
put their hand up and say, hey, I'm going to
be involved in this and I'm going to know what's
going on, you're setting an example for whether it's your daughters,
your nieces, the other women that you work with.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
You know, we need to show women that you can
do this.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
I'm doing it, You're doing it. So I think that's
a big part of it. And I also think, you know,
it's we've been kind of told that money isn't exciting,
this is boring stuff. It's you know, it's an industry
built by men to serve men. And only in the
last few you know, maybe the last decade or so
have we really realized not we we've known this, but
(15:59):
has the end histry realized that, hey, women are inheriting
a lot more well, women are holding a lot more wealth,
and we need to figure out how to start talking
to them, so that the industry hasn't been built really
to talk to us and to engage us.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Yeah, definitely a little of both what's happened at home
and what's happened in the world around us.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, and I think you're right, and you know, I
think that that's something that you know, we always talked
about money in my house because we didn't have any yeah,
quite a while, and so it was like just always
talked about always the arguments. Most of anything that came
up that was stressful was based on money, not based
on anything else.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
You know, really, and so I've always been exposed to that,
and so good or bad.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I never felt like I would just hand those financial
decisions off to anybody because I'm like, no, I'm going
to make sure that I have I know where my
money is at all times of what it's doing.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
But I do.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Understand that a lot of you know, we can't go
we don't go back too far to when women couldn't
really handle money on their own.
Speaker 5 (16:59):
Yeah, and I'm not that removed from it. Are pretty surprising.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yeah, So I think now though, with more women building wealth,
inheriting wealth, working, graduating from college, all of these financial decisions,
carrying debt when before you couldn't even really get a
credit card before I think it's nineteen seventy four. So
I get that there's not too many examples but also
I do feel like there is still those stereotypical types
of feelings like oh well this is boring like you said,
(17:26):
or this isn't something I want to be engaged in.
So I'm glad to see like, hopefully those things are
shifting and that, but I feel like we are, you know,
as financial advisors. I still hear training sessions being like,
here's a good tip. Look at the woman in the
couple and like acknowledge her, ask a.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Question like this is like the top two. Gosh, you're like,
are you This is ridiculous to me, but I get it.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
We the industry has been very dominated, you know, by
wealthy men, and it's just interesting to see the shift
there because I'm like, women aren't even a target market.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
We're like half the world.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
I know, but they treat us, they have segmented us
as like a like a niche market.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
It's like, oh my gosh, no market to women. Why
would you want to narrow your scope that much?
Speaker 4 (18:14):
And I'm like that's all, yeah, yeah, how crazy.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
But it's weird and hopefully things are changing.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
And I do think that, you know, those early conversations
are really important. But for somebody who feels like they've
been disconnected or overwhelmed, Like, what do you think are
some small, like actionable steps that people can take if
they want to start to get more engaged. Even listening
to this podcast is one step. This is you know,
this is definitely you know. I feel like the people
who have found the show are definitely thinking about money.
(18:42):
They're talking about it with their friends, They're getting more comfortable.
But maybe if it's now you've consumed and you want
to create or take action, what do you suggest that
people do to start?
Speaker 5 (18:54):
Yeah, so I love the idea of taking inventory, no
what you have, and this is one of the steps
of the financial planning process. It's the data gathering step,
and it's so important because if you want to start
to understand what you have, you need to first know
what you have. And that doesn't mean you need to
(19:16):
understand every statement, every piece of data, every account, but
just having an understanding of what are your credit card balances,
how much do you owe on your mortgage, what's your
four roh one k at, how much do you earn?
Most people cannot tell you what their annual income is.
They don't know ask them what they're contributing to their
(19:37):
four oh and k and it's whatever it was when
we set it up and we haven't looked at it since.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
How's it invested? No idea.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
So just simply taking inventory, I think is an incredible
first step. And maybe you break it up. Maybe you
pull your bank statements this week, and maybe next week
you pull your liabilities mortgages, car payments, credit car, and
maybe the following week you pull your investments. Got to
pull your pastub in there somewhere too. You know, you
(20:05):
don't need to do it all at once. I know
that can get really overwhelming to people. Some women may
not even know where to go to find these things, right,
So if you have a partner who can help guide you,
that's a great place to start. Help me pull these statements.
I just need to get familiar with.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
I want to know what we have.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
So I think it's a great first step. The reason
I go there is because I, first of all, you
just know what you have. But I can't believe how
many clients have come to us and said, just the
simple process of gathering up our stuff and bringing it
to you, we found things. We found errors. We noticed
this account had a beneficiary that was my ex husband
(20:47):
on it, you know, so it's just bringing awareness.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yeah, no, I think that that's such an important first step.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
And like even when I try to be you know,
I was, I was talking to somebody in there.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Like all right, let's get like a couple action.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
What are some tips that we can use in a
news report?
Speaker 3 (21:04):
And I was like, this is it. Awareness is number one.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
No matter what we are trying to do, we have
to understand where we are right now. There's no skipping it.
There's no skipping too. Okay, let's fix the investments. Yeah,
you don't know if you're putting enough in there. We
don't know how much you have. Maybe you should be
paying down something first, Like, you have to know exactly
where you stand, even if it's awful, even if it
is not fun to look at. It's still better to
(21:31):
know your credit score, even if it's something you want
to change. If you don't know what it is, then
you're going to find out when someone else tells you,
and probably.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
When it's when you need it, when it's too late.
You know, if you're in in divorce, if you're if
you're widowed, if you find yourself suddenly having to take
over or manage this stuff on your own. That's not
when you want to be finding out that you have
ten thousand dollars in credit card debt and a bad
credit score.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
You know, Yeah, those are not the times.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
It's the times when like you have some space, when
you have a little bit of you know.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
When it's come.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It's the same as like when people should be updating
their you know, their resumes. It's like when you're not
under stress or under pressure trying to get things done.
Because I think when you do want to make changes,
and I think this is something that a lot of
people don't make changes in their life because they're not
sure if they're financially able to. And this could be
leaving a job that they don't like. This could be
(22:23):
leaving a relationship that's no longer serving them well, this
could be all sorts of things, and we blame money.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
We blame money because.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
It's easy to point to that and say, okay, well,
if I if you know every and if we don't
really know our numbers, we don't know what we have,
what we what we can use our brains will just
keep us alive, which means not changing kind not exactly
like we won't change.
Speaker 5 (22:50):
Yeah, we've seen that so much where having women be
made aware of their situation and to be honest, it's
a lot of good and some bad to where you
know it can help inform the next steps versus making
those steps blindly and with a lot of uncertainty. You know,
(23:14):
there's always going to be uncertainty with any major change
that you make.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
If you can.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Remove a little bit of that uncertainty through becoming aware
of your financial situation and how that impacts these decisions,
I think there's a lot of power in that, and
I think it's a great way.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
For women to take back some power.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
I think sometimes we to your point, we stay in jobs,
we stay in relationships because there's an imbalance, and that
doesn't have to be that way. And you know, as
you were talking, I thought of another challenge that I
think women face, and I just think it is the burnout,
the feeling overwhelmed that already having so much stuff on
our plates on our plates, and I think men tend
(23:56):
to have be more drawn to the financial stuff in
as their role models maybe have more demonstrated, Hey, that's
what you do, you manage the money, And so I
think it's an.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Easy one for women to get off of our plates.
Speaker 5 (24:09):
But easy isn't always right, and so I want to
acknowledge that when we talk about this stuff, or often
asking women to maybe bring something back on their plate
when they already feel totally.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Tapped out and like they can't take on.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
One more thing.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
This isn't the thing to not take on.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Yeah, no, I agree.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I think you're right, And I think there are a
lot of things that you know, women can feel overwhelmed doing,
and a lot of times there's certain things, even when
it comes to you know, childcare or being care a
primary caregiver for somebody in your life, that is financially
not rewarding. It's completely time consuming and stressful. And I
(24:48):
but I think that all of these things, like we've
talked about traditional rules, they land on a lot of
women's plates, and so it is quite a It is
very expensive. However, that's where I do feel like sometimes
the financial conversation can come in because what can we
pay for to.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Get off of your play?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
What can we outsource that you don't enjoy doing. Maybe
it is buying back some of your free time or
your energy, or paying for someone to clean or provide
a meal or some sort of care. If you are
now in this situation that's kind of been you know,
piled on to you, and you need to figure out
if you don't think some people, I feel like they
(25:26):
have more financial means available to them than they realize
and could outsource something. Maybe they don't feel good about it,
maybe they haven't even thought about it. But I do
feel like sometimes when you understand where the money is,
or you might say I don't want to have my
children have to take care of me, like you know,
you have to start saving for the future. But I
feel like you're right, there's absolutely a lot of overwhelm
(25:50):
and burnout that we're seeing that Sometimes you know, again,
money gets blamed, but no one's looking at the money
to make sure that that's actually really the cause.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
I'm so glad you said that, because we've seen that
within our own practice.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
And I'll tell you what.
Speaker 5 (26:06):
I was leaving my condo this morning and the lady
that lives across the hall from me is a fantastic
and she's a housekeeper, and I was like, I really
want to ask her if she could just come clean
my condo like every other week, just do a deep clean.
And you know what, I felt extreme guilt, guilt and
shame that I like, why why can't My place isn't
even big, Like, why can't I just do this? And
(26:28):
maybe it's less about why. You know, if you chop
your day off, you're like, there's plenty of hours in
the day. It becomes an energy question. Is there the
energy to do it?
Speaker 4 (26:36):
And do I want to?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
You know, at the end of the day, it's I
have to pick and shoes, how and where I spend
my energy? And to your point, if there are resources,
not everyone has the resources, but if there are resources
that can allow you to pick and shoes and get
some things off of your plate, and maybe it doesn't
even cost money to get off your plate. Maybe it's
simply asking for help, asking your mom, asking your sister,
(27:01):
asking your best friend for a little bit of help.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
We're not good at that either. As women, I think
we just try to keep doing everything.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
And to where, like I said, totally burnt out and
fried and then you know, not maybe prioritizing the right
things where we should be spending our time.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
No, it's it's great that you mentioned that that guilt
and that feeling because it's so normal. It's so like
there are a lot of things that I can do
basically that I don't I don't want to do, I
don't like to do. But you know, I I've reframed
all of that because I you know, we have you know,
house cleaning has never been my favorite thing to do
(27:42):
or my husband's never but when we had you know, things.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Like childcare costs dropped off when they went into school,
we had some room in the budgets and things.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
So okay, we can direct this somewhere that will make
us feel better and happier and stuff. And I love
supporting small businesses.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
So in my mind, I'm.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Hiring somebody who's running, like your neighbor who is working
and you know.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
Creating self employed it.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
I love it. So that's on brand that tracks for me.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
But I do understand, you know that, like it can
feel like, well, if I'm physically capable of doing it,
I should do it. But that just adds to the
burden of the things that you should be doing that
you're not doing. So unless you really schedule out what
your time is and when you can accomplish these things.
There are some things you know, even you know, being
I could do my own bookkeeping, but I don't. I'd
rather spend time with clients. I feel fine about that.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Yeah, yeah, I'd be curious to know how you work
through some of that guilt, because I do think it
is something that a lot of women deal with and
don't don't work through, don't find their way through it.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Yeah, you know, it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I feel like i've you know, there's a lot of
like guilt and shame and things that we could feel.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
But I feel like I've always.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
You know, when I when I think about business and
I think about my time and my energy, I value
that as well.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
I do. I do think that I've never been prone
to burnout.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I've never been like I don't like feeling too overwhelmed
or too stressed. But I was also raised by a
father who was self employed, who didn't probably could have
worked a lot harder. We might have been a different
financial situation if you did take on a little bit
more stress.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
I'm a little more anxiety. But I've kind of seen
the guilt. I've seen it. I understand the guilt trip.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I understand, you know, the things that like, oh you
should do this, you should be perfect, you should look
this way and that way, and you know, oh, you know,
what is your husband going to do for dinner if
you're traveling for work? And I was always like, what
do you mean He's going to feed himself like he
has for the past thirty years of his life before
he knew me. Like, so, I've always been like this
with the guilt trips, I've always pushed them away. I've
(29:46):
always kind of divided that I but I feel like
that's kind of just the way that I was wired,
and I know that it can sometimes I think it
could sound really selfish. It could sound like I do
a lot of things that I feel like, you know,
personally benefit I have more free time, I like my schedule.
I like my life a lot, and I have had
help in certain areas, but I've worked hard for that.
(30:09):
It's a trade off, you know. I think there's certain
things that, like you you have to decide proactively what
you know, what you want to do with your money
and your time. I like to spend more time with
my kids. Sometimes that might mean paying somebody else to,
you know, shovel the driveway or do other things that
(30:30):
I can. And I realized that, you know, if the
money situation changed, I know what I would cut first,
not as long as other things are going on in
the background, I feel confident that I could continue on,
so I don't have that financial stress of like, oh
what if this should be going somewhere else. I've lived
with financial stress. I understand what it is like to
not have those choices to be able to outsource anything. However,
(30:52):
like you said, there are certain things that you can
do with what you've got, and I think it comes
into play there, and I think that's where people can say, yeah,
I'm not exactly where I want to be right now,
but when i am, these are the things that I
would like to do. These are the places I'd like
to visit or the things i'd like to stop doing.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
And if I want to get off my plate.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
And knowing that, I feel like when you do get
to those those points those you know, you get a raise,
it doesn't just disappear. You say, I don't know where
it went, you know, because it's just going to whatever's
on fire right now. Being very intentional with where that
stuff goes is super important. But yeah, I think you know,
sometimes you have to be like a ninja when it
comes to those guilt trips and like be onto yourself like,
(31:34):
oh no, wait, that's not true that Why am I
thinking that thought?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Why did that pop them up? Why am I guilty
right now?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
And like you recognized it, Yeah, when you're thinking about it,
I couldn't mean.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
My cando, it's not that much. It's not going to
take that time when like honestly you.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Saw her and immediately were like yes, Like I would say,
get to get curious when those things come up.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Find out how much it costs. Maybe it's less than
you think.
Speaker 4 (31:57):
M m yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
A lot of us overestimate how much everything's going to cost.
Oh a state planning, I can't do. That's going to
be so expensive.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
Oh for how much time it's going to take?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Oh yeah, to we're actually like finding your statements, figuring
out like your interest rates might take you thirty seconds
if you open your app and do where to look.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
I can't believe the roadblock that gathering data so that
like coming back to knowing what you have, taking inventory.
I can't believe the roadblock that that is for people.
But we are like this in so many ways, like
we make it a bigger deal in our heads, and
then once we get started, it's like, oh my gosh,
that took me a half an hour, you know, it
(32:34):
just didn't take It wasn't what I thought it was.
And so getting started, to your point, getting out of
your own way is so important.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
It is really important. And I think sometimes we could
spend like a half hour overthinking something that will take
us five.
Speaker 4 (32:47):
Minutes, you just yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
Instead we put more effort into procrastinating and avoiding it
than it would take to do the task.
Speaker 4 (32:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
And so that's where I think having a third party
does sometimes help, because I feel like if somebody might
maybe if it's just you trying to get everything together,
maybe you'll think of all these other things that you
should I should clean my house and say I should
do this because I have five minutes of free time.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Instead of being she wants this from.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Me, I have to put it in the portal, I
have to log in and provide it by our next meeting.
People get stuff done when they have a deadline, and
so sometimes being your own boss when it comes to
this stuff, if you've decided you want to take ownership,
put a meeting on your calendar and pretend like someone
else cares that you get there and do the stuff,
because it can be tough to put these things off.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
But a lot of times you might find.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Okay, if I cancel these subscriptions that I don't use,
I could have somebody come clean my place once every
other week. That money's going out already. Yeah, it's just
not going somewhere that serves you.
Speaker 5 (33:46):
So and until you take that inventory and really know
what's going where and what you have, it's hard to
know what you can do.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Yeah, oh, definitely that you just won't know. You'll just
assume you can. Definitely how things go.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
I'd love to hear more about Burning River, about your
firm's mission and what you're working on, because you mentioned
earlier that you have some you know, some initiatives to
really help people with empowerment. I can't tell you how
much I think the mindset you can't get you can
get kind of far hating your way through this stuff
(34:20):
and beating yourself up and brilliant. But I don't feel
like success and real security and peace and joy comes
until you fix.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
That mindset piece. So tell me more about your mission
with empowerment.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:32):
Yeah, So Burning River Advisory Group is our financial planning firm.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
That is, it's our bread and butter, so to speak.
Speaker 5 (34:41):
And we are limited, probably like you are, in terms
of the number of people that we can work with.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
We have opportunity for growth.
Speaker 5 (34:47):
We are not at capacity, but we realize that we
cannot work with everyone. And so we have a lot
of knowledge though, and so much experience and a willinginess
and desire to want to help beyond just the people
who will be able to work with us directly. And
(35:07):
so from that we created a company called Enlighten Her
and it's an educational arm of it's not really of
Burning River. It's a separate company, but it's it's education focused.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
Female you know, women driven.
Speaker 5 (35:23):
I think of the tagline is a women first educational company,
and so we're trying to empower women.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
We're trying to get to women out of college, maybe
get to.
Speaker 5 (35:32):
Women in college, you know, women starting their first jobs,
women who are coming out of divorce or who are.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
Going into divorce.
Speaker 5 (35:40):
Trying to empower them at these you know, early stages
or transitional stages with education and information. And it is
a lot of mindset type of.
Speaker 4 (35:51):
Education.
Speaker 5 (35:53):
You need some tactical things, right, you need some good
ideas and sort of the how tos. But to your point,
a bunch of how to's without bigger context doesn't really
get us there. You might it's like it's like working
out without having a bigger goal of like, I want
to live a long, healthy life and stay mobile well
into my later years. That's the vision that makes it
(36:16):
easier to get up and exercise. So it's the same
with finances. If you don't have like the vision of
like kind of the bigger picture, what am I working towards?
Kind of changing my money my mindset around money, the
tactical things aren't going to stick for very long. That's
our approach and so so at Burning River Advisory Group,
(36:37):
we talk a lot about values based spending, breaking old
money myths that aren't serving you, you know, Empowering women
and enlighten her as really an extension of that, but it's, uh,
we're doing it under an umbrella where we can touch
hopefully touch more people.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Reach more more women, and so.
Speaker 5 (36:55):
We're super excited about it and hoping that we can
start to have help women embrace money, view it differently,
break down some of those.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
Barriers and say hey, I can do this.
Speaker 5 (37:07):
It's it's maybe not second nature, but it's it's not uncomplicated.
I went to school, I went to college, I learned
a bunch of new things. No matter your path in life,
you've learned a bunch of new things along the way.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
You can learn this too.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
I love that, and I think it's so important. And
I think, you know, for all the you know, everybody,
if this helps, it helps everybody period, having you know,
even like I think about my son having you know,
him having a mother who is financially stable and can that,
you know, I think that there's so many things that
help when everybody is financially it's just the fact that
(37:44):
a lot of us weren't raised to say, you know, hey,
you know, I want to go out there and make
a lot of money, where you know, my husband might
have been like, yeah, buddy, go get it, where I
would be like, what that's like, why don't you like
tone it down a little bit, you know, just to
kind of level the playing field, and it's okay to
want to go make money and best money, spend money
and not feel like you have to do it for
(38:07):
someone else's benefit or feel bad about it or guilty
or shameful. So I think that that's so important because
I think everybody benefits when we're all kind of on
this level play and feel like, hey, we're gonna have
to work with money, and a lot of people who
haven't before or they don't think they're good with money,
spend some every day, make some every day, are doing
(38:28):
something every single day that relates with So they're in
a better position than they think. They just maybe need
their their brains, maybe need to catch up and kind
of figure out how to actually do that in a
way that feels really intentional and good. So I love
the work that you're doing. I think it's so important
and I think, yeah, the earlier we catch people to
try to help them think about things, and it's hard.
(38:50):
You can't reach everybody, you can't work with everybody, or
else we.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Would have no capacity. There's so many people out there
and you help.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
So the ways that we can help one to many
are so important for valuable. How can people find out
more about you if they'd like to learn more about
your educational or your or Burning River.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
Yeah, so you can find us online Burning River.
Speaker 5 (39:11):
The website is burningriverag dot com and so you can
find us online. And when I say us, that's myself
and my business partner at Bargo and we both work
in one practice on one set of clients. So, you know,
I just read a statistic the other day. I can't
remember where it was from, but it was talking about
(39:31):
women and finances and how there's just still such a
shortage of women seeking financial guidance and receiving the guidance
that they're looking for. And I thought it was really interesting,
and I actually always felt like it was one of
our edges in working with women was that there's a
woman and there is a man in our practice. And
this article said as much. They said, don't assume because
(39:52):
because they're women, that they want to work with a woman.
I think that there's a time and place where we
look for both. You know, there's different things that we
each bring. Anyways, So Burning riverag dot com and then
enlighten Her, So if you're more interested in that educational
side we're doing, we're putting out free content, we're putting
out some low cost content. We're doing webinars. That's enlighten
(40:16):
her dot com. So yeah, both ways, and you can
reach us through those websites. So if you wanted to
reach out through Burning River or through enlighten Her, there's
contact pages on both of those websites.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Thank you so much for sharing that. I think that
take advantage of this. I think sometimes there's all this
information and even if you're getting something that you know,
maybe it's free or it's a webinar, maybe it's just
takes sometimes hearing something differently or reading it and thinking
about things in a different way. And this could be.
You know, a lot of the content that you know,
(40:49):
experts like you are putting out is great content. It's
just a matter off you want everyone else to see it.
This is not gate kept. This is more information that
we feel like should be in the hands of everybody.
Take advantage of these things. You really don't know. You
might say, oh, working with a CFP is true. This
is one way to do it. Listen to the show,
download your content, get these womens, because really we just
(41:11):
you know, we just want to help help more people
get to the point where they feel like, Okay, now
I have this much wealth saved, I need to talk
to an invest reader.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
I need to talk to a planner. That's the goal
for everybody.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
So thank you so much for coming on the show,
and thank you everyon for listening. If you're looking to
listen to more episodes, of the show, or maybe you
want to buy a copy of my book, Demist Buying
Money to kind of go over some of the more
of the mindset work and some of the journal prompts
we have in there.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Please head over to Misti Lynch dot com. I would
love for you to visit and catch up on some
of these episodes.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Thank you so much for providing all the information you
shared today, and we'll talk again next week. Thank you
for joining us on another insightful episode of Demist Buying Money.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate and leave
a review. Stay tuned for more engaging conversations on our
next episode, and remember knowledge is the key.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
It's financial empowerment.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
St
Welcome to the Demist Defying Money Podcast, where each week
you will hear unforgettable conversations with expert guests about success, money, business,
and small steps you can take to elevate your life
and wealth. Now here's your host, Misty Lynch.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hi, everyone, thank you so much for joining us for
this episode of the Deemist Defying Money Podcast. I'm your host,
Missy Lynch, and I'm joined by Melayna Carbaret. She is
a private wealth manager with Burning River Advisory Group in Westlake.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Ohio, and she helps women.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
She's another CFP, another women financial planner, helping us ladies
out there figure out our finances and build that financial
strength and independence so that we can handle all of
the different things that life throws at us. She works
with a lot of women in transition, whether they're newly divorced,
whether they are contemplating retirement, all of these things that
sometimes that financial empowerment. Maybe we didn't have the best
(00:57):
role model or somebody to speak to, or don't really
know what we should what we.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Don't know sometimes, so that's who she helps.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
So I'm excited to talk to her today and also
about her work in financial empowerment for women. Because I
think it's such an important area, especially for women who
feel that they don't have the knowledge or the skills
to make good financial decisions at any age. But how
we can help women at you know, all stages of
the life feel more confident so that they can do
(01:25):
more good out there in the world.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
So, thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
I'm very excited to be here and like I said,
excited to talk to another female CMP.
Speaker 6 (01:34):
This episode of Demystifying Money with Misty Lynch is proudly
sponsored by Soundview Financial Advisors. Visit www dot Soundview Financial
Advisors dot com to learn more.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I'd love to hear more about, you know, how you
came into this, into this work. I know this is
definitely a line of work that you know, I enjoy,
But how did you get into What did you think
you would you doing? You know, when you first you know,
when you were in college or once you first entered
the working world, and how did you land here helping
the people that you helped today.
Speaker 5 (02:08):
Yeah, that's actually a really great question, and it loops
back into empowering women in a sort of a way. So,
you know, there's so many barriers to women in finance,
and we think, oh, I wasn't trained in this, and
I didn't.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
I nobody told me how to do these things.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
So my background, I actually have a a degree, an
associate's degree in floral design and marketing and so more
of a creative background. And I knew that having an
associate's degree wasn't going to get me where I wanted
to go in life, and so I stayed in school
and got my bachelor's and I was trying to apply
for a job in the floral industry. It's dating myself
(02:46):
a bit, but I was required to post my resume
on hot jobs dot Com in order to apply for
this job I was trying to get. And in the
process of doing that, a company was called American Express
Financial Advisors at the time reached out to me and
was like, Hey, we want to interview you for this
potential financial advisor position. And I was like what. But
(03:07):
sort of ironically it was a coincidentally. I did have
a little bit of an interest and I thought, Oh,
if I ever use this business degree for anything other
than like the floral the creative, I would be kind
of interested in finance. And so it was just this
really strange kind of coincidence. And I took the interview,
(03:27):
and then I took the second interview, and then I
took the final.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
Interview, and I took the job.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
And I remember my mom saying to me, you know, Molina,
even if this doesn't work out, you're gonna learn so
much in your first job out of college about how
to manage your money for the rest of your life.
And she's like, even if the career doesn't work for you,
what you're gonna learn is gonna be.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
With you the rest of your life.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
And I thought it was such great insight and advice,
and so I came into the industry. I was not
classically trained in finance. I have a business degree, but
much more heavily focused on biology and creative you know stuff.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
So yeah, I think it's interesting. You know, finance is
something that it touches everything.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
I don't think there's.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Really any you know field that having knowledge when it
comes to like financial literacy or how you know, investing works,
anything like that.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
It helps in so many different ways.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
So I feel like whenever I, you know, meet people,
even if they're entrepreneurs who own, you know, a flower
shopper or retail store. I'm like, you own a business,
you understand way more than you think, even if you
don't think that you understand money or finance or you're
good with that, and so I love that. You know,
sometimes it's interesting. I know, I graduated college in two
(04:49):
thousand and two. The job market was not exactly very strong.
It was definitely kind of I was taking any interviews
then would come my way. And I think sometimes too,
it is important to be open minded, even if you're
in a field that's like adjacent to what you're doing,
or just to kind of think of ways that you
can make you know, we said, things can eventually work out,
especially if you have an open mind to it. So
(05:11):
that's really cool, I think. And also I love the
creative aspect of all of that. I'm sure, yeah, there's
easy could loop that into your work.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I'm sure always Yeah.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
Well, and I think that so many people think were
our minds either are creative or they're analytical, and there
I know that there are people whose minds work both ways,
but at this think it goes to show that you
can be both. And just because you maybe lean creative
doesn't mean you can't learn finance. I am twenty years
in this career teaching other women about finance, and I wasn't,
(05:48):
like I said, I wasn't classically trained in it. It
wasn't the direction I was going for my career.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
And yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
An excellent point though, because I think we do like
to think that, especially when it comes to money, that
I'm not analytical or I'm a creative, I'm an artist.
I'm this where saying that, I think a lot of
people assume that means that I can't be good at both,
or I can't do both, or that actually, like it's
beneath me to be you know, analytical or look at
the numbers or look at that. And so I think
(06:18):
that especially for people who are in business for themselves, oh,
who are managing a household budget or their finances, you
can't opt out of having understanding these numbers and these
important things. So I think it is important to try
not to be all or none where you can say, oh,
I'm good at this, so I'm not creative, Like there's
plenty of ways to be creative even if you are
(06:39):
a math person, but also in the other respects, like
you can't you can't necessarily opt out. So I think
that's something you know, you talk a lot about in
your in your work and online about you know, finance
and psychology, so kind of these these different aspects of
you know, you mentioned not being classically trained in finance,
and I think that even doing that and learning, you know,
(07:03):
you don't learn a lot about the psychology or the
way people think or they make decisions. And it's interesting
because all of us make decisions because we want to
feel differently, our financial decisions are not because it is
in our it is the best financial move, No, nor dash,
and nobody would be doing all of these things. So
(07:23):
how do you feel that your perspective on you know,
or your interest in that the mindset work has shaped
the way that you help people interact with money.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Yeah, that's let me think about that a minute.
Speaker 5 (07:38):
You know, when I came into the industry, it seemed
like such common sense, Oh, who.
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Wouldn't want to do financial planning?
Speaker 5 (07:46):
Like this is going to be so easy, And as
you probably know, it isn't. And so I think the
behavioral side, the psychology side, is very interesting because it
starts to get at the root of why someone wouldn't
want to do financial planning.
Speaker 4 (08:06):
What are the barriers, What are the roadblocks?
Speaker 5 (08:08):
There's a lot of shame depending on the situation people
are coming from or bringing to you. And so I
just don't think you can have one without the other.
I think you need to address the emotional and the behavioral,
the psychological what's leading to some of these decisions and
choices before you can really start to help that person
move forward in a productive long term way financially. And
(08:33):
so I think doing we're both cfps, so we're trained
in the certified financial Planning process, that ongoing financial planning model.
I think doing that and really getting to know clients
through that process and that model ongoing relationship, you start
to see more the pitfalls of human beings, right, we
(08:54):
all have them. You start to see them, and then
you can start to really help them plan with those
in how can we set things up to kind of
save you from yourself, save you from your behaviors, from
your your pitfalls. And so I really at this point
don't think you can have one without the other. And
when I think about building a foundation for someone to
(09:16):
plan from, like you start with the foundation and build
up I think that foundation, you have to address the
you know, money mindset with that foundation, in that foundation, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
There's definitely.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
It's it's interesting being in this work because you're right,
you'd assume, well, who wouldn't want to do this? And
I think there's a lot of people, you know, whether
you're a health coach or you're this, like of course
everybody wants this, but we are dealing with something that
people have definitely, you know, built their feelings around or
their thoughts on, so much so that they believe that
they're untrue, that they're facts, and that you can't you know, well,
(09:52):
obviously if I have more money, like rich people are this,
or and or all of the things that people might
think that that hold them back or kind of you
want where these thoughts and beliefs came from. And we
don't spend a lot of time exploring that. We don't
spend a lot of time poking holes at the things
that we've just heard our whole lives. And so I
think that that's something that's important to recognize when you
work with clients, that everybody is going to have something
(10:14):
and they might strongly believe it, you know, and it's
important to kind of notice that, and as you mentioned,
kind of setting things up to keep them from behaviors
that maybe they've been repeating. It isn't necessarily just saying
you're wrong, that's bad, don't do that, because we'll do
things anyway, but it might be okay. When you get overwhelmed,
you tend to, you know, maybe kind of forget about things.
(10:38):
So maybe we set things up for automatic payments, or
maybe we do things in a different way where you
know that you're going to need a break every once
in a while, or things like that to kind of
help people use their money in a way that helps
them build a life. But I think there's definitely a
lot of you know, there's a lot of fears and
there's a lot of insecurity sometimes when it comes to
(10:59):
win where maybe they haven't necessarily felt that they were
great with money, or they tend to feel like somebody's
handled it forever better than them, whether it be a
parent or a spouse.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
How do you help.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Women when maybe maybe they're coming to you because they
have to take control of their finances because they're widowed
or they have no choice. What How do you help
those people who maybe really feel insecure build that confidence.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Yeah, so.
Speaker 5 (11:29):
I think it's a slow process, but just constantly encouraging
and walking side by side with that person, having them
bring their tablet in or their computer in and helping
them set things up. You know, it just it slows
us down, like our we're we're not working with this
person at sixty miles an hour anymore.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
We're slowed down to maybe.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Twenty miles an hour and going back to the basics
and you know, really to spending time with the client
and helping her learn how to do these things for
the first time and.
Speaker 4 (12:02):
Telling her that she can do them. You can do this.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
There's nothing about you that is inequipped, unequipped to do this.
You just are unfamiliar and so you know, it's you're
learning something new. And a lot of times the women
who are learning these new things, they're older and so
they're learning something new on technology as well that they're
maybe not one hundred percent familiar with.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
So the.
Speaker 5 (12:29):
Roadblocks or the barriers the walls are a little bit
higher that we have to help them get through. So
maybe we're not only helping them pay a bill, figure
out what bills need to be paid, but they're paying
it online. Yeah, so's there's definitely challenges. I go back
to trying to help prevent that from happening. We're never
(12:50):
gonna We're always going to have women who come into
our office who are in find themselves in this situation.
But one of our big goals is to get ahead
of that, to try to empower women, no matter what
age you are, to start to get involved in your
household finances. Even if your husband's always done it, he's
done a fantastic job, or your partners always handled things.
(13:12):
Get involved, ask to sit down, and you have them
walk you through it. Try to get ahead of that
you know where you can. And for women that you know,
maybe don't know exactly that their husband's doing it the
right way. We've had women say, hey, like we're laid
on our credit card bill, like this isn't working and
(13:33):
I don't want to take another thing on my plate.
But if you're going to take another thing on your plate,
this is a good one to take on. This is
your money, it's your financial future, it's your credit score,
it's your bank account. This is a great one to
take on. So we try to encourage women to get
involved to try and prevent having that that wife, that
(13:56):
widow walk in our doors taking it on abruptly.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
What do you think is causing or what do you
think has kind of you know, had you know, caused
women sometimes to have that.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
To avoid getting deeply engaged in their finances.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Have you like, because I know that this is something
that I've never I've never experienced personally because I always
you know, have been involved in, you know, interested in finance,
do it as a profession. Felt very comfortable talking you know,
to anybody about it. But I definitely know like a
lot of people do feel like that is not an
(14:32):
area that they want to get involved in. They would
rather have their you know, head in the sand than
know what's really going on.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
Why is that? Why does that feel safer for some people?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (14:43):
I think somewhat you we've not been raised to It's
not been demonstrated to us. I was very fortunate. I'd
be curious to know what example you had said for me.
But my mom handled the finances. I met with a.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
Young younger younger than me, lady to day.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Who is single, and she is on top of it,
She's doing a great job with her money, and she
told me that her mom managed and still manages the
household finances. And so I just think there's something with
what we've been with, what has been demonstrated to us
that matters. So again going back to how do we
get ahead of this. The more women we get who
(15:22):
put their hand up and say, hey, I'm going to
be involved in this and I'm going to know what's
going on, you're setting an example for whether it's your daughters,
your nieces, the other women that you work with.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
You know, we need to show women that you can
do this.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
I'm doing it, You're doing it. So I think that's
a big part of it. And I also think, you know,
it's we've been kind of told that money isn't exciting,
this is boring stuff. It's you know, it's an industry
built by men to serve men. And only in the
last few you know, maybe the last decade or so
have we really realized not we we've known this, but
(15:59):
has the end histry realized that, hey, women are inheriting
a lot more well, women are holding a lot more wealth,
and we need to figure out how to start talking
to them, so that the industry hasn't been built really
to talk to us and to engage us.
Speaker 4 (16:12):
Yeah, definitely a little of both what's happened at home
and what's happened in the world around us.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, and I think you're right, and you know, I
think that that's something that you know, we always talked
about money in my house because we didn't have any yeah,
quite a while, and so it was like just always
talked about always the arguments. Most of anything that came
up that was stressful was based on money, not based
on anything else.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
You know, really, and so I've always been exposed to that,
and so good or bad.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I never felt like I would just hand those financial
decisions off to anybody because I'm like, no, I'm going
to make sure that I have I know where my
money is at all times of what it's doing.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
But I do.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Understand that a lot of you know, we can't go
we don't go back too far to when women couldn't
really handle money on their own.
Speaker 5 (16:59):
Yeah, and I'm not that removed from it. Are pretty surprising.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
Yeah, So I think now though, with more women building wealth,
inheriting wealth, working, graduating from college, all of these financial decisions,
carrying debt when before you couldn't even really get a
credit card before I think it's nineteen seventy four. So
I get that there's not too many examples but also
I do feel like there is still those stereotypical types
of feelings like oh well this is boring like you said,
(17:26):
or this isn't something I want to be engaged in.
So I'm glad to see like, hopefully those things are
shifting and that, but I feel like we are, you know,
as financial advisors. I still hear training sessions being like,
here's a good tip. Look at the woman in the
couple and like acknowledge her, ask a.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Question like this is like the top two. Gosh, you're like,
are you This is ridiculous to me, but I get it.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
We the industry has been very dominated, you know, by
wealthy men, and it's just interesting to see the shift
there because I'm like, women aren't even a target market.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
We're like half the world.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
I know, but they treat us, they have segmented us
as like a like a niche market.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
It's like, oh my gosh, no market to women. Why
would you want to narrow your scope that much?
Speaker 4 (18:14):
And I'm like that's all, yeah, yeah, how crazy.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
But it's weird and hopefully things are changing.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
And I do think that, you know, those early conversations
are really important. But for somebody who feels like they've
been disconnected or overwhelmed, Like, what do you think are
some small, like actionable steps that people can take if
they want to start to get more engaged. Even listening
to this podcast is one step. This is you know,
this is definitely you know. I feel like the people
who have found the show are definitely thinking about money.
(18:42):
They're talking about it with their friends, They're getting more comfortable.
But maybe if it's now you've consumed and you want
to create or take action, what do you suggest that
people do to start?
Speaker 5 (18:54):
Yeah, so I love the idea of taking inventory, no
what you have, and this is one of the steps
of the financial planning process. It's the data gathering step,
and it's so important because if you want to start
to understand what you have, you need to first know
what you have. And that doesn't mean you need to
(19:16):
understand every statement, every piece of data, every account, but
just having an understanding of what are your credit card balances,
how much do you owe on your mortgage, what's your
four roh one k at, how much do you earn?
Most people cannot tell you what their annual income is.
They don't know ask them what they're contributing to their
(19:37):
four oh and k and it's whatever it was when
we set it up and we haven't looked at it since.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
How's it invested? No idea.
Speaker 5 (19:43):
So just simply taking inventory, I think is an incredible
first step. And maybe you break it up. Maybe you
pull your bank statements this week, and maybe next week
you pull your liabilities mortgages, car payments, credit car, and
maybe the following week you pull your investments. Got to
pull your pastub in there somewhere too. You know, you
(20:05):
don't need to do it all at once. I know
that can get really overwhelming to people. Some women may
not even know where to go to find these things, right,
So if you have a partner who can help guide you,
that's a great place to start. Help me pull these statements.
I just need to get familiar with.
Speaker 4 (20:22):
I want to know what we have.
Speaker 5 (20:24):
So I think it's a great first step. The reason
I go there is because I, first of all, you
just know what you have. But I can't believe how
many clients have come to us and said, just the
simple process of gathering up our stuff and bringing it
to you, we found things. We found errors. We noticed
this account had a beneficiary that was my ex husband
(20:47):
on it, you know, so it's just bringing awareness.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
Yeah, no, I think that that's such an important first step.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
And like even when I try to be you know,
I was, I was talking to somebody in there.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Like all right, let's get like a couple action.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
What are some tips that we can use in a
news report?
Speaker 3 (21:04):
And I was like, this is it. Awareness is number one.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
No matter what we are trying to do, we have
to understand where we are right now. There's no skipping it.
There's no skipping too. Okay, let's fix the investments. Yeah,
you don't know if you're putting enough in there. We
don't know how much you have. Maybe you should be
paying down something first, Like, you have to know exactly
where you stand, even if it's awful, even if it
is not fun to look at. It's still better to
(21:31):
know your credit score, even if it's something you want
to change. If you don't know what it is, then
you're going to find out when someone else tells you,
and probably.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
When it's when you need it, when it's too late.
You know, if you're in in divorce, if you're if
you're widowed, if you find yourself suddenly having to take
over or manage this stuff on your own. That's not
when you want to be finding out that you have
ten thousand dollars in credit card debt and a bad
credit score.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
You know, Yeah, those are not the times.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
It's the times when like you have some space, when
you have a little bit of you know.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
When it's come.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It's the same as like when people should be updating
their you know, their resumes. It's like when you're not
under stress or under pressure trying to get things done.
Because I think when you do want to make changes,
and I think this is something that a lot of
people don't make changes in their life because they're not
sure if they're financially able to. And this could be
leaving a job that they don't like. This could be
(22:23):
leaving a relationship that's no longer serving them well, this
could be all sorts of things, and we blame money.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
We blame money because.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
It's easy to point to that and say, okay, well,
if I if you know every and if we don't
really know our numbers, we don't know what we have,
what we what we can use our brains will just
keep us alive, which means not changing kind not exactly
like we won't change.
Speaker 5 (22:50):
Yeah, we've seen that so much where having women be
made aware of their situation and to be honest, it's
a lot of good and some bad to where you
know it can help inform the next steps versus making
those steps blindly and with a lot of uncertainty. You know,
(23:14):
there's always going to be uncertainty with any major change
that you make.
Speaker 4 (23:18):
If you can.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Remove a little bit of that uncertainty through becoming aware
of your financial situation and how that impacts these decisions,
I think there's a lot of power in that, and
I think it's a great way.
Speaker 4 (23:31):
For women to take back some power.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
I think sometimes we to your point, we stay in jobs,
we stay in relationships because there's an imbalance, and that
doesn't have to be that way. And you know, as
you were talking, I thought of another challenge that I
think women face, and I just think it is the burnout,
the feeling overwhelmed that already having so much stuff on
our plates on our plates, and I think men tend
(23:56):
to have be more drawn to the financial stuff in
as their role models maybe have more demonstrated, Hey, that's
what you do, you manage the money, And so I
think it's an.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Easy one for women to get off of our plates.
Speaker 5 (24:09):
But easy isn't always right, and so I want to
acknowledge that when we talk about this stuff, or often
asking women to maybe bring something back on their plate
when they already feel totally.
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Tapped out and like they can't take on.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
One more thing.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
This isn't the thing to not take on.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Yeah, no, I agree.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I think you're right, And I think there are a
lot of things that you know, women can feel overwhelmed doing,
and a lot of times there's certain things, even when
it comes to you know, childcare or being care a
primary caregiver for somebody in your life, that is financially
not rewarding. It's completely time consuming and stressful. And I
(24:48):
but I think that all of these things, like we've
talked about traditional rules, they land on a lot of
women's plates, and so it is quite a It is
very expensive. However, that's where I do feel like sometimes
the financial conversation can come in because what can we
pay for to.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Get off of your play?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
What can we outsource that you don't enjoy doing. Maybe
it is buying back some of your free time or
your energy, or paying for someone to clean or provide
a meal or some sort of care. If you are
now in this situation that's kind of been you know,
piled on to you, and you need to figure out
if you don't think some people, I feel like they
(25:26):
have more financial means available to them than they realize
and could outsource something. Maybe they don't feel good about it,
maybe they haven't even thought about it. But I do
feel like sometimes when you understand where the money is,
or you might say I don't want to have my
children have to take care of me, like you know,
you have to start saving for the future. But I
feel like you're right, there's absolutely a lot of overwhelm
(25:50):
and burnout that we're seeing that Sometimes you know, again,
money gets blamed, but no one's looking at the money
to make sure that that's actually really the cause.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
I love that.
Speaker 5 (26:01):
I'm so glad you said that, because we've seen that
within our own practice.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
And I'll tell you what.
Speaker 5 (26:06):
I was leaving my condo this morning and the lady
that lives across the hall from me is a fantastic
and she's a housekeeper, and I was like, I really
want to ask her if she could just come clean
my condo like every other week, just do a deep clean.
And you know what, I felt extreme guilt, guilt and
shame that I like, why why can't My place isn't
even big, Like, why can't I just do this? And
(26:28):
maybe it's less about why. You know, if you chop
your day off, you're like, there's plenty of hours in
the day. It becomes an energy question. Is there the
energy to do it?
Speaker 4 (26:36):
And do I want to?
Speaker 5 (26:38):
You know, at the end of the day, it's I
have to pick and shoes, how and where I spend
my energy? And to your point, if there are resources,
not everyone has the resources, but if there are resources
that can allow you to pick and shoes and get
some things off of your plate, and maybe it doesn't
even cost money to get off your plate. Maybe it's
simply asking for help, asking your mom, asking your sister,
(27:01):
asking your best friend for a little bit of help.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
We're not good at that either. As women, I think
we just try to keep doing everything.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
And to where, like I said, totally burnt out and
fried and then you know, not maybe prioritizing the right
things where we should be spending our time.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
No, it's it's great that you mentioned that that guilt
and that feeling because it's so normal. It's so like
there are a lot of things that I can do
basically that I don't I don't want to do, I
don't like to do. But you know, I I've reframed
all of that because I you know, we have you know,
house cleaning has never been my favorite thing to do
(27:42):
or my husband's never but when we had you know, things.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Like childcare costs dropped off when they went into school,
we had some room in the budgets and things.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
So okay, we can direct this somewhere that will make
us feel better and happier and stuff. And I love
supporting small businesses.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
So in my mind, I'm.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Hiring somebody who's running, like your neighbor who is working
and you know.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
Creating self employed it.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
I love it. So that's on brand that tracks for me.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
But I do understand, you know that, like it can
feel like, well, if I'm physically capable of doing it,
I should do it. But that just adds to the
burden of the things that you should be doing that
you're not doing. So unless you really schedule out what
your time is and when you can accomplish these things.
There are some things you know, even you know, being
I could do my own bookkeeping, but I don't. I'd
rather spend time with clients. I feel fine about that.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Yeah, yeah, I'd be curious to know how you work
through some of that guilt, because I do think it
is something that a lot of women deal with and
don't don't work through, don't find their way through it.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Yeah, you know, it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I feel like i've you know, there's a lot of
like guilt and shame and things that we could feel.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
But I feel like I've always.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
You know, when I when I think about business and
I think about my time and my energy, I value
that as well.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
I do. I do think that I've never been prone
to burnout.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
I've never been like I don't like feeling too overwhelmed
or too stressed. But I was also raised by a
father who was self employed, who didn't probably could have
worked a lot harder. We might have been a different
financial situation if you did take on a little bit
more stress.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
I'm a little more anxiety. But I've kind of seen
the guilt. I've seen it. I understand the guilt trip.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
I understand, you know, the things that like, oh you
should do this, you should be perfect, you should look
this way and that way, and you know, oh, you know,
what is your husband going to do for dinner if
you're traveling for work? And I was always like, what
do you mean He's going to feed himself like he
has for the past thirty years of his life before
he knew me. Like, so, I've always been like this
with the guilt trips, I've always pushed them away. I've
(29:46):
always kind of divided that I but I feel like
that's kind of just the way that I was wired,
and I know that it can sometimes I think it
could sound really selfish. It could sound like I do
a lot of things that I feel like, you know,
personally benefit I have more free time, I like my schedule.
I like my life a lot, and I have had
help in certain areas, but I've worked hard for that.
(30:09):
It's a trade off, you know. I think there's certain
things that, like you you have to decide proactively what
you know, what you want to do with your money
and your time. I like to spend more time with
my kids. Sometimes that might mean paying somebody else to,
you know, shovel the driveway or do other things that
(30:30):
I can. And I realized that, you know, if the
money situation changed, I know what I would cut first,
not as long as other things are going on in
the background, I feel confident that I could continue on,
so I don't have that financial stress of like, oh
what if this should be going somewhere else. I've lived
with financial stress. I understand what it is like to
not have those choices to be able to outsource anything. However,
(30:52):
like you said, there are certain things that you can
do with what you've got, and I think it comes
into play there, and I think that's where people can say, yeah,
I'm not exactly where I want to be right now,
but when i am, these are the things that I
would like to do. These are the places I'd like
to visit or the things i'd like to stop doing.
Speaker 4 (31:11):
And if I want to get off my plate.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
And knowing that, I feel like when you do get
to those those points those you know, you get a raise,
it doesn't just disappear. You say, I don't know where
it went, you know, because it's just going to whatever's
on fire right now. Being very intentional with where that
stuff goes is super important. But yeah, I think you know,
sometimes you have to be like a ninja when it
comes to those guilt trips and like be onto yourself like,
(31:34):
oh no, wait, that's not true that Why am I
thinking that thought?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Why did that pop them up? Why am I guilty
right now?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
And like you recognized it, Yeah, when you're thinking about it,
I couldn't mean.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
My cando, it's not that much. It's not going to
take that time when like honestly you.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Saw her and immediately were like yes, Like I would say,
get to get curious when those things come up.
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Find out how much it costs. Maybe it's less than
you think.
Speaker 4 (31:57):
M m yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
A lot of us overestimate how much everything's going to cost.
Oh a state planning, I can't do. That's going to
be so expensive.
Speaker 4 (32:03):
Oh for how much time it's going to take?
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Oh yeah, to we're actually like finding your statements, figuring
out like your interest rates might take you thirty seconds
if you open your app and do where to look.
Speaker 5 (32:13):
I can't believe the roadblock that gathering data so that
like coming back to knowing what you have, taking inventory.
I can't believe the roadblock that that is for people.
But we are like this in so many ways, like
we make it a bigger deal in our heads, and
then once we get started, it's like, oh my gosh,
that took me a half an hour, you know, it
(32:34):
just didn't take It wasn't what I thought it was.
And so getting started, to your point, getting out of
your own way is so important.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
It is really important. And I think sometimes we could
spend like a half hour overthinking something that will take
us five.
Speaker 4 (32:47):
Minutes, you just yeah.
Speaker 5 (32:49):
Instead we put more effort into procrastinating and avoiding it
than it would take to do the task.
Speaker 4 (32:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
And so that's where I think having a third party
does sometimes help, because I feel like if somebody might
maybe if it's just you trying to get everything together,
maybe you'll think of all these other things that you
should I should clean my house and say I should
do this because I have five minutes of free time.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Instead of being she wants this from.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Me, I have to put it in the portal, I
have to log in and provide it by our next meeting.
People get stuff done when they have a deadline, and
so sometimes being your own boss when it comes to
this stuff, if you've decided you want to take ownership,
put a meeting on your calendar and pretend like someone
else cares that you get there and do the stuff,
because it can be tough to put these things off.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
But a lot of times you might find.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Okay, if I cancel these subscriptions that I don't use,
I could have somebody come clean my place once every
other week. That money's going out already. Yeah, it's just
not going somewhere that serves you.
Speaker 5 (33:46):
So and until you take that inventory and really know
what's going where and what you have, it's hard to
know what you can do.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Yeah, oh, definitely that you just won't know. You'll just
assume you can. Definitely how things go.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
I'd love to hear more about Burning River, about your
firm's mission and what you're working on, because you mentioned
earlier that you have some you know, some initiatives to
really help people with empowerment. I can't tell you how
much I think the mindset you can't get you can
get kind of far hating your way through this stuff
(34:20):
and beating yourself up and brilliant. But I don't feel
like success and real security and peace and joy comes
until you fix.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
That mindset piece. So tell me more about your mission
with empowerment.
Speaker 4 (34:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:32):
Yeah, So Burning River Advisory Group is our financial planning firm.
Speaker 4 (34:37):
That is, it's our bread and butter, so to speak.
Speaker 5 (34:41):
And we are limited, probably like you are, in terms
of the number of people that we can work with.
Speaker 4 (34:46):
We have opportunity for growth.
Speaker 5 (34:47):
We are not at capacity, but we realize that we
cannot work with everyone. And so we have a lot
of knowledge though, and so much experience and a willinginess
and desire to want to help beyond just the people
who will be able to work with us directly. And
(35:07):
so from that we created a company called Enlighten Her
and it's an educational arm of it's not really of
Burning River. It's a separate company, but it's it's education focused.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
Female you know, women driven.
Speaker 5 (35:23):
I think of the tagline is a women first educational company,
and so we're trying to empower women.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
We're trying to get to women out of college, maybe
get to.
Speaker 5 (35:32):
Women in college, you know, women starting their first jobs,
women who are coming out of divorce or who are.
Speaker 4 (35:39):
Going into divorce.
Speaker 5 (35:40):
Trying to empower them at these you know, early stages
or transitional stages with education and information. And it is
a lot of mindset type of.
Speaker 4 (35:51):
Education.
Speaker 5 (35:53):
You need some tactical things, right, you need some good
ideas and sort of the how tos. But to your point,
a bunch of how to's without bigger context doesn't really
get us there. You might it's like it's like working
out without having a bigger goal of like, I want
to live a long, healthy life and stay mobile well
into my later years. That's the vision that makes it
(36:16):
easier to get up and exercise. So it's the same
with finances. If you don't have like the vision of
like kind of the bigger picture, what am I working towards?
Kind of changing my money my mindset around money, the
tactical things aren't going to stick for very long. That's
our approach and so so at Burning River Advisory Group,
(36:37):
we talk a lot about values based spending, breaking old
money myths that aren't serving you, you know, Empowering women
and enlighten her as really an extension of that, but it's, uh,
we're doing it under an umbrella where we can touch
hopefully touch more people.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Reach more more women, and so.
Speaker 5 (36:55):
We're super excited about it and hoping that we can
start to have help women embrace money, view it differently,
break down some of those.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
Barriers and say hey, I can do this.
Speaker 5 (37:07):
It's it's maybe not second nature, but it's it's not uncomplicated.
I went to school, I went to college, I learned
a bunch of new things. No matter your path in life,
you've learned a bunch of new things along the way.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
You can learn this too.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
I love that, and I think it's so important. And
I think, you know, for all the you know, everybody,
if this helps, it helps everybody period, having you know,
even like I think about my son having you know,
him having a mother who is financially stable and can that,
you know, I think that there's so many things that
help when everybody is financially it's just the fact that
(37:44):
a lot of us weren't raised to say, you know, hey,
you know, I want to go out there and make
a lot of money, where you know, my husband might
have been like, yeah, buddy, go get it, where I
would be like, what that's like, why don't you like
tone it down a little bit, you know, just to
kind of level the playing field, and it's okay to
want to go make money and best money, spend money
and not feel like you have to do it for
(38:07):
someone else's benefit or feel bad about it or guilty
or shameful. So I think that that's so important because
I think everybody benefits when we're all kind of on
this level play and feel like, hey, we're gonna have
to work with money, and a lot of people who
haven't before or they don't think they're good with money,
spend some every day, make some every day, are doing
(38:28):
something every single day that relates with So they're in
a better position than they think. They just maybe need
their their brains, maybe need to catch up and kind
of figure out how to actually do that in a
way that feels really intentional and good. So I love
the work that you're doing. I think it's so important
and I think, yeah, the earlier we catch people to
try to help them think about things, and it's hard.
(38:50):
You can't reach everybody, you can't work with everybody, or
else we.
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Would have no capacity. There's so many people out there
and you help.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
So the ways that we can help one to many
are so important for valuable. How can people find out
more about you if they'd like to learn more about
your educational or your or Burning River.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
Yeah, so you can find us online Burning River.
Speaker 5 (39:11):
The website is burningriverag dot com and so you can
find us online. And when I say us, that's myself
and my business partner at Bargo and we both work
in one practice on one set of clients. So, you know,
I just read a statistic the other day. I can't
remember where it was from, but it was talking about
(39:31):
women and finances and how there's just still such a
shortage of women seeking financial guidance and receiving the guidance
that they're looking for. And I thought it was really interesting,
and I actually always felt like it was one of
our edges in working with women was that there's a
woman and there is a man in our practice. And
this article said as much. They said, don't assume because
(39:52):
because they're women, that they want to work with a woman.
I think that there's a time and place where we
look for both. You know, there's different things that we
each bring. Anyways, So Burning riverag dot com and then
enlighten Her, So if you're more interested in that educational
side we're doing, we're putting out free content, we're putting
out some low cost content. We're doing webinars. That's enlighten
(40:16):
her dot com. So yeah, both ways, and you can
reach us through those websites. So if you wanted to
reach out through Burning River or through enlighten Her, there's
contact pages on both of those websites.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Thank you so much for sharing that. I think that
take advantage of this. I think sometimes there's all this
information and even if you're getting something that you know,
maybe it's free or it's a webinar, maybe it's just
takes sometimes hearing something differently or reading it and thinking
about things in a different way. And this could be.
You know, a lot of the content that you know,
(40:49):
experts like you are putting out is great content. It's
just a matter off you want everyone else to see it.
This is not gate kept. This is more information that
we feel like should be in the hands of everybody.
Take advantage of these things. You really don't know. You
might say, oh, working with a CFP is true. This
is one way to do it. Listen to the show,
download your content, get these womens, because really we just
(41:11):
you know, we just want to help help more people
get to the point where they feel like, Okay, now
I have this much wealth saved, I need to talk
to an invest reader.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
I need to talk to a planner. That's the goal
for everybody.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
So thank you so much for coming on the show,
and thank you everyon for listening. If you're looking to
listen to more episodes, of the show, or maybe you
want to buy a copy of my book, Demist Buying
Money to kind of go over some of the more
of the mindset work and some of the journal prompts
we have in there.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Please head over to Misti Lynch dot com. I would
love for you to visit and catch up on some
of these episodes.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Thank you so much for providing all the information you
shared today, and we'll talk again next week. Thank you
for joining us on another insightful episode of Demist Buying Money.
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, rate and leave
a review. Stay tuned for more engaging conversations on our
next episode, and remember knowledge is the key.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
It's financial empowerment.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
St
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