December 8, 2022 • 36 mins
Philanthropist, businesswoman, advocate for women and girls, and mother of three Melinda French Gates shares some insights and advice on ways we can all give back regardless of what’s in the bank. Call it philanthropy, volunteerism or activism, the goals are the same: help others and work toward a better society. She shares how she’s taught her kids to give back, how rolling back Roe v. Wade affected the world, what her biggest concern is regarding philanthropy, how to start your learning journey, and what she hopes her legacy will be - other than many, many grandkids, of course.
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Links of Interest:
Masterclass on Impactful Giving
Book: The Moment of Lift
Organizations Noted:
Plus More:
Research Tools:
CREDITS:
Executive Producers: Sandie Bailey, Lauren Hohman, Tyler Klang & Gabrielle Collins
Producer & Editor: Brooke Peterson-Bell
Associate Producer: Akiya McKnight
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Go, Ask Alli, a production of Shonda Land
Audio and partnership with I Heart Radio. When I have
been with friends and that happened and I paid my pants,
I did lose the room, they did leave. I saw
her light up and I was like, I'm just going
to work. But we are here until one of our
last breaths. I was just the one that was meant
(00:20):
to take care of mamma. It's for me to remember
every single day is that I always have a choice.
Everyone always has a choice. Whenever somebody says no, you
can't or there's no rules for you, or you have
to look like this, I go. I'll show you. I'll
show you. Welcome to Go, ask Allie. I'm Alli Wentworth.
(00:44):
In this crazy world right now with so much going on,
how can we become givers philanthropists? How can we get
ourselves off ourselves and help others? And by the way,
you don't have to be rich to be a giver.
Everybody has something that they're passionate about, and there's so
much we need to deal with. How do we do
(01:06):
our part? And isn't it our responsibility to teach our
children how to be impactful giving people and there's no
better person to teach us how to be givers than
Melinda French Gates. She's a philanthropist, businesswoman, and a global
advocate for women and girls. As a co chair of
(01:27):
the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for over twenty years,
Melinda sets a direction and priorities for It's more than
ready for this fifty billion dollar endowment. In she, along
with her former husband Bill Gates and mega investor Warren Buffett,
created the Giving Pledge. This philanthropic pledge commits the wealthiest
people in the US to give away the majority of
(01:49):
their fortune to charity. In Melinda founded Pivotal Ventures, a
company working toward gender equality and helping to remove the
social barriers that hold women back. Melinda is also the
author of the best selling book The Moment of Lift,
and she recently launched a master class on masterclass dot com,
(02:09):
making philanthropy more accessible to everyone. Welcome, Melinda French Gates.
I'm so happy to have you with me today. Thanks
for having me Ali, of course, and you are one
of my heroes. And I'll tell you why. I'm a
big believer in giving back. I'm a big believer in philanthropy.
(02:31):
I have two daughters who I have. Part of my
parenting has been to make them more empathic, philanthropic women.
And you have mastered And I say that because you
even have a master class with which you describe all this.
But you have sort of mastered the best way to
(02:54):
be a giver. So I'm going to start on a
very fundamental place and just say to you, what makes you,
Belinda French Gates such a confident giver? Oh well, thank
you for that question, and also for mentioning the master
class and giving that. It's so good, you know. I
(03:14):
think sometimes we don't stop and reflect and realize we
all have something to give back, right. I think so
often we think of it as oh, I don't have
money or I don't have the time to give back. No,
there are lots of ways to give back, and we
need to come from a place of not scarcity. But
what do I have that I can give? So for me,
(03:36):
in terms of being an effective giver, what I've really
tried to do is to learn and be on what
I call a learning journey. Um. I try to meet
with different people in the community, whether it's in my
backyard of Seattle, or whether like you, I've been lucky
enough to go to various countries in Africa or whatever
I go on the ground in India. I try to
listen to communities about what they say they need and
(04:00):
then think about what might either the foundation that I'm
part of, the Gates Foundation, or my company, Pivotal Ventures,
what might we be able to do in a culturally
appropriate way that will help lift others up. You know,
I've always heard growing up, and you know I hear
it today that when people think of philanthropy, they think, well,
(04:21):
I don't I'm not rich, I'm not I'm not a philanthropist.
You know. You people go to black tie parties and
write checks. And one of the great things again about
your master class and what you talk about so often
is that there are different ways to give back, and
you emphasize having philanthropy more accessible to everybody. So what
(04:42):
do you say when people say to you, listen, I
I can't write a check to that. You know, I'm
I'm overwhelmed by the global warming crisis. How could I
possibly help? Do you say? Well? Recycle? I mean, what
is your answer to that kind of big question? Definitely
recycle in your home, start a calm post. Been really
look at your electricity bill and see as the way
(05:04):
you can cut back. What are you teaching your children
about climate change? You know, I can only speak to
what I have learned and know. But you know, my
parents sent my sister and I to a school whose
motto was Sertium. And what I learned at that high
school is that even as a high school junior and senior,
(05:26):
I had something to give back in my community. So
I went and volunteered at a local public elementary school
four miles down the road from my high school. And
believe me, I could see at the end of a
few hours that I had helped the teacher who was
at the front of the classroom trying to teach thirty students,
not all of them spoke English. I was there helping
(05:47):
tutor in math in the back of the class. So
I know I was lifting a little bit of her
burden and hopefully teaching something to these kids. And so
I try to say to people, you know, really think
about your resources, what you have to give back in
terms of your time. You know, at Christmas time, when
(06:08):
my children were little, again, I wanted to teach them
when they were little about giving back. We would go
make boxes for the homeless. Now, did it end homelessness
in Seattle? No? Did people need still, you know, a
warm place to go that they could, Yes, but it
meant that when they did go into a shelter, they
had this small kit that helped them, whether it was
(06:29):
soap and raisors and shampoos. And my kids learned something
about what it means for a community to come together
and support others. You know, nine dollars and cents will
buy a malaria bednet on the Internet, and that can
save a child's life if they sleep under malarial bednet.
That or a mom's life, a pregnant mom. So, you know,
(06:52):
we can even teach our kids that as they start
to earn money, or as they get a little bit
of an allowance, that they can go do something for
somebody in another country that they might know by simply
going on the internet and doing a little bit of
that kind of giving instead of perhaps going and buying
you know, the fancy meal they want to have from
door dash or fancy you know cup of coffee maybe.
(07:15):
And I think that it should be part of parenting,
part of school that our younger generations have it be
an automatic thing for them to be a giver like that.
I don't even want them to think twice about it
that you definitely you give back. That's just what you do.
And you know, there is a way to teach this
(07:36):
with very young children, you know, if you get their
hands dirty with it, they feel it in a way.
They might not intellectualize it, but they feel it, you know.
I remember my kids would have bake sales and then
they would be all excited and think, oh, what are
we going to buy with this money? You know, and
George used to say, oh, no, all the money goes
to charity. We don't need anything. You know, you need
(07:57):
to figure out what charity you want to give this to.
And of course my eldest said, Sephora, and we said
that's not a charity. But but they understood it, you know,
and then they started to, you know, have a little
fundraisers or bake sales where it was for the polar bears,
or it was for a teacher that was said, you know,
and you ingrain it in their brains that giving back
(08:21):
is all part of a normal way to live a
full life. And I love that you preach that. Um
when we talk about sort of international philanthropy, global reach.
You know, I took my daughter to Burundi and she
smelled and tasted and saw incredible poverty and got to
(08:43):
meet with women. She got to see what, you know,
maternal care looked like, um in a country that had
no infrastructure or scaffolding for that. I came back from
Burundi and was trying to fundraise, and I was continually
met with why should I help out, you know, women
(09:05):
in a country I don't even know where it is
on the map? What about my community? And I I
sort of was met with that over and over again,
and I thought, how do we sort of expand our
reach and expand our desire to reach when we, particularly
our country right now seems to be very self centered.
(09:26):
M hmm. Well, I think, you know, people can connect
to what they feel, uh and what they know, And
so I think often having people start in their own backyard,
in their own community, but maybe it's not the community
that they live in, but maybe they need to drive
fifteen miles from different parts of the city or take
(09:48):
a train or a bus. And when they start to
see other communities living differently up against barriers in their
own city, and they start to think about how might
I give to this community or or with a community
group that's already working here, it starts to open their eyes.
So that's why I call it a learning journey. And
then I think you can start to connect people with Okay,
(10:11):
you've learned something about say maybe it's moms and little
kids and how difficult life is in the backyard of
where you live for them. Um, but you can also say,
imagine what it's like for a woman who is giving
birth under these circumstances in a different part of the world.
And you can start to connect the local to the
(10:32):
global and and start to help people see and particularly
using the Internet and some of the images. I think
everybody understands that when a family has money, it unlocks
things for a family, right, whether it's more groceries, or
more schooling for the kids, or a step up so
they can start a business. You know, people going online
(10:52):
and understanding what does hef for international do in other
countries around the world. Wow, you can imagine how a
small flock of chicks might actually lead to chickens that
lay eggs that can the eggs can be eaten for
nutrition and go on the market. So I think sometimes
we have to help people connect the local to the global. Yeah,
I mean, have you found that if you can make
(11:16):
not only that connection, but if you can make them
feel like there's no small amount of gift. In other words,
if you say this amount of money will get you
a mosquito netting that will stop a child from getting there,
you know this amount of money will pay for a crib, definitely.
And I think people want to know that if they
(11:37):
give something, whether they're giving twenty dollars or or a
hundred dollars, they want to know that actually has impact. Right.
And so again, if you go back to going on
the internet and buying somebody a small flock of chicks,
which does not cost much at all, there um lots
of organizations that do that, you can actually see an
(11:58):
impact on a family. And so for me, like for
my kids, they used to kind of create wish lists
that they wanted for Christmas. I expected on their risk lists,
besides maybe the makeup they wanted or the soccer ball,
that they had some organizations and specific things they wanted
to give to. And so we would often at holiday
time they might receive one or two things to themselves
(12:19):
and something for another family. And so just by doing
that research, they started to realize, oh, you know that
my parents might spend on me for this item. Wow,
that could go a long way in another part of
the world. Um, I'm sure you've gotten this pushback. I
find that there's a lot of cynicism sometimes when you
(12:40):
want to be an active giver, because you start to
read stories or you hear from people, Oh, I gave
this money to this organization and it actually never even
went there. So people start to get very, um a
cynical about being givers because they go, oh, well, I
don't even know if my money is going to that.
(13:00):
So how do you address that when people start to
mistrust organizations and how do you check that? Well, I
would say, you know, whoever you give to, you should
expect to understand where your money went. That's that's a
real thing and you should expect that. But I would
also say they're unbelievable organizations who have been out doing
this work for a very long time. You know, if
(13:22):
you're concerned that you send your money internationally and you
might not know where it's going or you don't know
this organization, you can also go online through donors choose
and say, oh, there's a teacher advertising that he or
she needs a printer for their classroom, or here she
needs school supplies for the kids. I cannot tell you
how many classrooms in the United States were teachers take
(13:43):
out of their own salary to buy supplies for the
kids in the classroom. It is not hard to imagine
that classroom supplies go a long way for having a
class that actually works. So I think there are lots
of ways. You just have to do a little bit
of investigation and on your own, and it's not hard
to find credible information. I also tell people go ask
(14:04):
a friend, go ask somebody else who's done there giving,
who feels really good about it. And if you start
to get cynical, go out in the community and see
what's actually going on. That is often really inspiring. Donors
Choose is such a fantastic organization and a good one
for kids because they can they can choose what they
(14:25):
want to give. There's a lot more to come after
the short break and we're back. UM. Since Roe versus
Wade has been overturned, UM, there's been a lot of fundraising,
(14:50):
community outreach, a lot of Twitter threads, all kinds of
stuff going on. As women are trying to come together
not only to help other women in our country, but
again try to have some kind of a global reach.
And I'm curious how you are seeing the philanthropic world
right now, and what do you think is the most
(15:13):
impactful thing women like me can do. Well? I think
there are a number of things that we can do.
Um let me just start by saying I was in
Rwanda when the decision came out that drove versus weight
had been overturned, and the Wandon's turned to me and said,
how can this be. We look to your country to
have good laws on the books that protect people. How
(15:36):
in your own country could you have a law in
the books almost fifty years for women and it be
rolled back. I didn't have an answer for that, And um,
so this is a decision that had ripples around the world.
And what I know though to be true and what
we all saw in this most recent election is voters
(15:57):
came out and said not okay, not okay. And I
think you know, many people were very, very worried about okay,
given the timing of when that got overturned, would it
actually show up at the polls in November? And guess
what it did? Because you cannot roll back a basic
right for women that protects women and protects bodily autonomy.
(16:19):
So I think it doesn't just take the philanthropic community.
I think it takes all of us, using our voices.
We need to vote. What I was so pleased to
see was lots and lots of groups coming together to
get out the vote of young people, get out the
vote of women, get out the vote of people who
are like minded, and then I think the philanthropic community.
(16:40):
What I'm seeing is many of the philanthropists talking to
one another and saying, how do we also make sure
that women have contraceptives, they know about them, they're educated
about their body, and they have access to them, because
that is a key, key, key tool so that women
don't even get into the situation of needing to have
(17:00):
an abortion. So I've been proud to see the philanthropic
community come together around that and more funding go towards
family planning and or contraceptives. And that needs to happen
not just in the US but around the world. Oh yes,
for sure. But it was incredibly exciting to see how
everybody mobilized and how uh like everybody came together and
(17:23):
did the push. It shows you that it can work, right.
I mean, I think that anybody who gets discouraged saying wow,
my voice and my vote made a difference. Um, that's powerful. Yes.
And I also think that when we look at particularly
this subject of women in our country right now, particularly
(17:46):
after ROVERSUS it has been overturned. I think as women,
we can we can see that we all have our superpowers. Meaning,
you know, there are some people that have money and
that's great, and that's a superpower. That's something that you
can bring to the table that is incredibly impactful. And
(18:07):
you know, you could just be loud on social media,
you could be a marcher. You know, you could be
an organizer. Uh. I think a way of sort of
closing the systemic inequities is to say everybody has an
important piece to the puzzle. Absolutely, And I think we
need to start saying to ourselves it's not okay anymore.
(18:28):
It just is not okay. It never should have been
okay for somebody else to make decisions for women versus
women having the seat at the table and making the
decisions for themselves. We make different policy when we are
represented well. So one of the things I've been really
looking at is, you know, women's power and influence. We
(18:51):
need far more women in our halls of Congress. And
yes we've ticked up some in this most recent election,
more female governors. I think of Congress is now female.
But we have no black woman, not one single black
woman in our Senate, not one. And I don't know
about you, but when I look out in society, I
(19:12):
see a lot different representation than I see in the
halls of Congress. And so until we get more female governors,
more females in the state legislatures, more females in Congress
and in the Senate, you're going to continue to have
a Supreme Court that looks the way it looks today,
because who puts our Supreme Court into place this current Senate,
(19:34):
which is a majority of white males and who are
happened to be a bit older. So you know, society
is changed, It has changed in the last fifty years,
but the Supreme Court hasn't caught up to that. And
so all the more we need to vote with our feet.
We need to use our money. We need to teach
women to run. We have to cut the harassment in
(19:56):
running back. We need to fund female candidates because we
need to be represented in our halls of Congress the
way we look in society. So if I'm listening to
this podcast right now, I go, She's right. God, I
love Melinda French Gates. She is so right. What could
I possibly do? You can do so many things. You
(20:16):
can do what you just did and show up in
the last election. You can get out the vote with
young people in the next election. You can get out
the vote with different groups. You can decide you're going
to write Congress. You can go and help a women's
organization who's doing the hard work on the ground of
educating girls about their bodies and making sure they have contraceptives.
(20:39):
You can stand up and say it's not okay by
me that we are the only the only wealthy country
in the world that doesn't have paid family medical leave.
When I was in Rwanda this summer, because their parliament
after the genocide was put into law that there would
be far more parliamentarians I think would be women. It's
(21:02):
today six women. Rwanda has a paid family medical leave
on the books because the women helped get it on
the books. Their society has changed, but we still have
a country where we can't get through the Senate we
tried hard, we couldn't get it done to get paid
family medical leave. And yet we know our families are
(21:22):
better off when the woman and the man can take
time at the birth of their child and have some
wage replacement. It's it's not enough any longer to make
sure a woman can get a job in society. If
there's nobody to take care of her kids, and we
expect her to take care of the kids or the
aging parents, we can't accept that anymore. I mean, is
(21:43):
there power in having a lot of bigger foundations and
organizations come together and merge on certain topics. Absolutely, and
that is actually happening. And it's not just the foundations,
it's also the grassroots organized. There's like a group called
Mom's Rising working with the organizations in d C who
(22:06):
are trying to create this change. It has to go
across all of society, civil society saying no more. We're
gonna rise up and tell our state House we want
paid family medically with wage replacement. So you've got to
bring the community together, and not just a philanthropist, but
of activists too. And let's talk about activism for for
(22:26):
a minute. In this world, do you see, particularly with
what we're talking about. Now, do you actually see like
the Women's March, which was the most numbers ever of
any march, But do you see that kind of activism
move the needle at all? Absolutely? I mean, look, if
you go back, just in a short period of history
(22:49):
in the US, what finally God the Vietnam War to stop?
What got our government to say, wait a minute, wait
a minute. We put ourselves in a situation that Americans
are telling us they don't want. It was the protesting
that happened over in a sustained period of time. So
I do see and believe and know that when we
march for what we know is right for women, for family,
(23:12):
for our country, it does create change. Do you think
the biggest hurdle right now for women is the reversal
of reversus waved? I think there are a number of
really big hurdles in our country for women. I think
one of them has to do with women not being
in key leadership roles. Just take across industries, there's not enough.
(23:35):
There's no industry where you can say, look, females are
the majority. So take the take the finance sector, that's
what funds our society. You don't see women at the
tops of most of the banks, look at the tech sector.
It is creating our society, right. I'm sad to say
that when I was in college in the late nineteen
(23:56):
eightiest of computer science gradual for women were down to
thirty two. So if we're not creating sitting at the
table creating products, you're seeing some of the societal effects.
If you don't have the women at the top of
representation in state houses at at least an equal level,
then you're gonna get policies if the state hellouse or
(24:19):
the federal level of what you're seeing. So we have
got to elevate women's power and their influence. And until
we do that, we're going to keep seeing things kind
of go forward, but then roll back, go forward, and
then roll back. What do you say to your daughters,
I say to my daughters, use your voice, use anything
(24:40):
you have. I say the same thing to my son.
So I have a daughter's twenty, a son who's twenty three,
and a daughter who's twenty and I started realizing, in
terms of living my values. I was not speaking out
about these women's issues until about two thousand and twelve.
I started advocating for contraceptives because I saw the need,
I heard a need from women around the world. But
(25:02):
when I came home and realized I was saying to
my children to use their voice, I realized I needed
to use my voice more fully. And so I feel
like as a mom, I try and role model for
them what I know. I am deeply proud of my
three children. But I'll just say about the one who's
in college right now, she's twenty. Boy, was she out
there really using her voice about vote in this election.
(25:26):
It's vital to women, And so I tell them, you know,
they have a lot of power in their voice and
in their platforms and with any earnings that they make
or when they used to have an allowance even to
put a little bit of a aside and make sure
that they do something smart with that money. That's how
they learned and did they have They created their own
(25:48):
kind of passions about what they want to see change
or where they want to put their money and activism towards.
Absolutely that's different from yours. Yes, well, in some cases
it's absolutely different than ours. And in one of the
cases it's becoming a little bit more clear that it's
in an area that I'm already passionate about. I was
lucky enough to be able to take all three kids
(26:11):
when they were young, out to the developing world multiple times,
and they would even notice things I wouldn't see when
I would take them, for instance, into a township. Um.
They spent time actually living with families, sometimes with me,
some on their own in other countries. And when you
do that, you start to learn what a tiny place
(26:32):
in our case they were born and grew up in Seattle,
what a tiny speck on the map Seattle is right,
And how privileged we are to live in the United
States and to even have the educational system that we have.
And I think when you do that, or you work
at the food bank, which we did every year, you
start to realize I have something to give and that
(26:53):
they should be expected to give back over time, and
they are. It's amazing how much gratitude plays a part
in all of that. Huge, which is why I've always said,
you know, if you can get your kids to the
food pantry, sorting clothes, if you can get them immersed
in it, let them see it, let them understand it. Um,
(27:15):
the gratitude and the empathy, you know, comes into play,
and then they become people that eventually hopefully get back
when they're older and it's time for a short break.
(27:37):
Welcome back to go. Ask Alli, what do you worry
about the most when it comes to philanthropy. What keeps
you up at night? I worried that people don't see
others in need. If you if you're not looking and
you only live in your community and you don't branch
(27:57):
out more, you don't often see the needs that are
right around you. And I think it's our empathy and
opening our hearts that get us to give. And I
think sometimes people also mistake philanthropy is oh, well, if
a philanthropist does it, then I don't have to do it,
or then my government doesn't have to do it. No.
(28:19):
In fact, it takes all of society working together. It
takes philanthropic dollars, money and time. It takes civil society
who's trying to raise their voices about issues, and it
takes government funding to actually change the world. And so
I worry sometimes that people stop realizing that, you know,
(28:40):
we actually can change the world. Doesn't take very many
of us, like a small group of committed individuals that
does actually change the world. You know, it's It's interesting
because you know, I'm I'm involved with a lot of
organizations and I have a friend who has a foundation
and we're working to end the rape backlog that kits
(29:01):
And for me, I love to say to people when
I'm trying to fundraise that, God, wouldn't it be this
amazing thing if all of us women got together and
ended the rape kit backlog. Wouldn't that make us sleep
well at night? You know? So sometimes it's great to
have a goal, you know what I mean, and bring
(29:21):
people together for that. Definitely. So, Melinda, in your master class,
which is the greatest way to learn how to be involved,
you talk about how somebody begins to be a giver.
Can you talk a little bit about how somebody uh
sort of discovers an organization or something they feel passionate
(29:45):
about and what the steps are to becoming involved in it.
So I normally tell people start with your values, you know,
reflect on your values of how did you grow up,
what do you believe, who are you, who do you
want to be in the world, And spend some time
reflecting on that in quiet and then writing those down
and maybe even refining them. And then once you know
(30:07):
what your values are. Then I think going and connecting
with people in the community. You can start either if
you're part of a church group through that, if you
have kids in school, you can see what volunteer opportunities
others are doing in your school. You can go out
and do a little bit of research in in the
community or on the internet. You can go to the library.
But I think doing a bit of research first and
(30:30):
connecting with others, then you'll start to see who are
the organizations that I want to get behind in the community,
either with my time or my voice, or my expertise
or my money. Once you have those values, I think
then it's in you do some research. Then I think
it's easier to say, oh, I want to go with
this organization instead of that one. Um. In a perfect world, Melinda,
(30:56):
you're a hundred and two and you're sitting outside i'd
with a little blanket on your lap and your grandchildren
frolicking in the grass. What would be a fantastic legacy
for you? What would you like to sit back on
your little down pillow and go, well, I did this,
(31:17):
I think just for them to know that I felt lucky,
lucky enough to be able to lift up some other families,
whether it's hundreds or thousands, or maybe it's even more
than that. If I'm lucky in my case that I
lifted up other people and I was there for others
(31:39):
in addition to our family. Um. And if I've done that,
I think I will feel pretty proud talking to my grandchildren.
And hopefully there are many. Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure
there will be many. I love everything you're doing, and
I'm just so I'm grateful you came and just talk
(32:01):
to me about sort of everything you're thinking and what's
going on, and and before I let you go and
save the world. Um. In my podcast, I ask a
lot of questions and then I allow my guests at
the end to ask me anything anything. It could be
a recipe, it could be something deeply personal about my husband,
whatever you want. So I turned to you, Lynd and say,
(32:23):
what what would you like to ask Ali? Well, I'd
like to ask you Ali, as we are getting here
near the end of the year, what has given you
the most joy this year? Oh? What a wonderful question. Um,
what has given me? I'll tell you a few things,
(32:45):
and I'll tell you one that's more in line with
what we're talking about what has given me joy is
I have a daughter in college. I have my youngest
who's a senior in high school. And I was very
conscious this year of being as present as I could
with my younger daughter because I knew she was leaving
(33:07):
and I just wanted to be with her and whatever
that looked like, if whether we were watching a movie,
or we were cooking together, or you know, I was
bothering her because I was asking her questions about her boyfriend,
whatever it was, I thought, I'm just gonna eat up
every last second I can with my daughter. That has
(33:27):
given me great joy. Um. And you know, just to
continue sort of what we've been talking about here, George
and I are big believers in giving back. And we
had heard about this young boy in Haiti who had
been mauled by a group of wild dogs and a
(33:47):
doctor friend of ours was gonna, you know, do through
the surgery on him. He was coming up to New York.
And you know, George and I helped this boy, a
boy that I met very briefly but we'll never see again.
You know, we have no connection to this child. But
if somebody says to you that, you know, this boy
(34:11):
is going to live or die and we just need
some help. Of course, my God, of course. And this
child is now after many many many surgeries, he's back
in his his country and he's you know, playing soccer
and he's he's living a life. But it was such
(34:32):
a incredible gift to help somebody else. And it's those
moments that I find incredibly fulfilling. And it's to be
off us, you know what I mean, Like we're good,
we have everything we need. What do you need? You know? Um?
And I have a mother who's getting older, and to
(34:54):
know that she's happy and you know, lifting her weights
and and she's she's cared for, you know, as long
as my extended family. Everybody's okay. I'm very grateful, but
thank you. It was a long winded answer that was
so beautiful. Oh my gosh. I agree. It's all about family,
(35:15):
friends and doing meaningful work. It really is. There's an
old Emerson quote, Ralph Waldo. Emerson says that success is
to know that even one life has breathed easier because
you have lived. That is to have succeeded so perfect.
Think that's what you're doing. I love it. You, my God.
(35:36):
You ended my podcast on such a fantastic note. Thank you, Melenda,
Thank you so much. Thank you for listening to Go
Ask Ali. Check out Melenda's book The Moment of Lift,
and you can see Melenda's masterclass on philanthropy at masterclass
dot com. Give back this holiday season because now more
(35:57):
than ever, people do need your help. For more info
and what you heard in this episode, check out our
show notes and be sure to subscribe, rate and review.
Go Ask Aali and follow me on social media on
Instagram at the Real Ali Wentworth Now. If you'd like
to ask me a question or suggested guest or a
topic to dig into, I'd love to hear from you,
(36:19):
and there's a bunch of ways you can do it.
You can call or text me at three to three
three four six three five six, or you can email
a voice memo right from your phone to Go Ask
Gali podcast at gmail dot com. If you leave a question,
you just might hear it. I Go Ask Alli. Go
(36:45):
Ask Gali is a production of Shonda land Audio and
partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shonda
land Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Welcome to Go, Ask Alli, a production of Shonda Land
Audio and partnership with I Heart Radio. When I have
been with friends and that happened and I paid my pants,
I did lose the room, they did leave. I saw
her light up and I was like, I'm just going
to work. But we are here until one of our
last breaths. I was just the one that was meant
(00:20):
to take care of mamma. It's for me to remember
every single day is that I always have a choice.
Everyone always has a choice. Whenever somebody says no, you
can't or there's no rules for you, or you have
to look like this, I go. I'll show you. I'll
show you. Welcome to Go, ask Allie. I'm Alli Wentworth.
(00:44):
In this crazy world right now with so much going on,
how can we become givers philanthropists? How can we get
ourselves off ourselves and help others? And by the way,
you don't have to be rich to be a giver.
Everybody has something that they're passionate about, and there's so
much we need to deal with. How do we do
(01:06):
our part? And isn't it our responsibility to teach our
children how to be impactful giving people and there's no
better person to teach us how to be givers than
Melinda French Gates. She's a philanthropist, businesswoman, and a global
advocate for women and girls. As a co chair of
(01:27):
the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation for over twenty years,
Melinda sets a direction and priorities for It's more than
ready for this fifty billion dollar endowment. In she, along
with her former husband Bill Gates and mega investor Warren Buffett,
created the Giving Pledge. This philanthropic pledge commits the wealthiest
people in the US to give away the majority of
(01:49):
their fortune to charity. In Melinda founded Pivotal Ventures, a
company working toward gender equality and helping to remove the
social barriers that hold women back. Melinda is also the
author of the best selling book The Moment of Lift,
and she recently launched a master class on masterclass dot com,
(02:09):
making philanthropy more accessible to everyone. Welcome, Melinda French Gates.
I'm so happy to have you with me today. Thanks
for having me Ali, of course, and you are one
of my heroes. And I'll tell you why. I'm a
big believer in giving back. I'm a big believer in philanthropy.
(02:31):
I have two daughters who I have. Part of my
parenting has been to make them more empathic, philanthropic women.
And you have mastered And I say that because you
even have a master class with which you describe all this.
But you have sort of mastered the best way to
(02:54):
be a giver. So I'm going to start on a
very fundamental place and just say to you, what makes you,
Belinda French Gates such a confident giver? Oh well, thank
you for that question, and also for mentioning the master
class and giving that. It's so good, you know. I
(03:14):
think sometimes we don't stop and reflect and realize we
all have something to give back, right. I think so
often we think of it as oh, I don't have
money or I don't have the time to give back. No,
there are lots of ways to give back, and we
need to come from a place of not scarcity. But
what do I have that I can give? So for me,
(03:36):
in terms of being an effective giver, what I've really
tried to do is to learn and be on what
I call a learning journey. Um. I try to meet
with different people in the community, whether it's in my
backyard of Seattle, or whether like you, I've been lucky
enough to go to various countries in Africa or whatever
I go on the ground in India. I try to
listen to communities about what they say they need and
(04:00):
then think about what might either the foundation that I'm
part of, the Gates Foundation, or my company, Pivotal Ventures,
what might we be able to do in a culturally
appropriate way that will help lift others up. You know,
I've always heard growing up, and you know I hear
it today that when people think of philanthropy, they think, well,
(04:21):
I don't I'm not rich, I'm not I'm not a philanthropist.
You know. You people go to black tie parties and
write checks. And one of the great things again about
your master class and what you talk about so often
is that there are different ways to give back, and
you emphasize having philanthropy more accessible to everybody. So what
(04:42):
do you say when people say to you, listen, I
I can't write a check to that. You know, I'm
I'm overwhelmed by the global warming crisis. How could I
possibly help? Do you say? Well? Recycle? I mean, what
is your answer to that kind of big question? Definitely
recycle in your home, start a calm post. Been really
look at your electricity bill and see as the way
(05:04):
you can cut back. What are you teaching your children
about climate change? You know, I can only speak to
what I have learned and know. But you know, my
parents sent my sister and I to a school whose
motto was Sertium. And what I learned at that high
school is that even as a high school junior and senior,
(05:26):
I had something to give back in my community. So
I went and volunteered at a local public elementary school
four miles down the road from my high school. And
believe me, I could see at the end of a
few hours that I had helped the teacher who was
at the front of the classroom trying to teach thirty students,
not all of them spoke English. I was there helping
(05:47):
tutor in math in the back of the class. So
I know I was lifting a little bit of her
burden and hopefully teaching something to these kids. And so
I try to say to people, you know, really think
about your resources, what you have to give back in
terms of your time. You know, at Christmas time, when
(06:08):
my children were little, again, I wanted to teach them
when they were little about giving back. We would go
make boxes for the homeless. Now, did it end homelessness
in Seattle? No? Did people need still, you know, a
warm place to go that they could, Yes, but it
meant that when they did go into a shelter, they
had this small kit that helped them, whether it was
(06:29):
soap and raisors and shampoos. And my kids learned something
about what it means for a community to come together
and support others. You know, nine dollars and cents will
buy a malaria bednet on the Internet, and that can
save a child's life if they sleep under malarial bednet.
That or a mom's life, a pregnant mom. So, you know,
(06:52):
we can even teach our kids that as they start
to earn money, or as they get a little bit
of an allowance, that they can go do something for
somebody in another country that they might know by simply
going on the internet and doing a little bit of
that kind of giving instead of perhaps going and buying
you know, the fancy meal they want to have from
door dash or fancy you know cup of coffee maybe.
(07:15):
And I think that it should be part of parenting,
part of school that our younger generations have it be
an automatic thing for them to be a giver like that.
I don't even want them to think twice about it
that you definitely you give back. That's just what you do.
And you know, there is a way to teach this
(07:36):
with very young children, you know, if you get their
hands dirty with it, they feel it in a way.
They might not intellectualize it, but they feel it, you know.
I remember my kids would have bake sales and then
they would be all excited and think, oh, what are
we going to buy with this money? You know, and
George used to say, oh, no, all the money goes
to charity. We don't need anything. You know, you need
(07:57):
to figure out what charity you want to give this to.
And of course my eldest said, Sephora, and we said
that's not a charity. But but they understood it, you know,
and then they started to, you know, have a little
fundraisers or bake sales where it was for the polar bears,
or it was for a teacher that was said, you know,
and you ingrain it in their brains that giving back
(08:21):
is all part of a normal way to live a
full life. And I love that you preach that. Um
when we talk about sort of international philanthropy, global reach.
You know, I took my daughter to Burundi and she
smelled and tasted and saw incredible poverty and got to
(08:43):
meet with women. She got to see what, you know,
maternal care looked like, um in a country that had
no infrastructure or scaffolding for that. I came back from
Burundi and was trying to fundraise, and I was continually
met with why should I help out, you know, women
(09:05):
in a country I don't even know where it is
on the map? What about my community? And I I
sort of was met with that over and over again,
and I thought, how do we sort of expand our
reach and expand our desire to reach when we, particularly
our country right now seems to be very self centered.
(09:26):
M hmm. Well, I think, you know, people can connect
to what they feel, uh and what they know, And
so I think often having people start in their own backyard,
in their own community, but maybe it's not the community
that they live in, but maybe they need to drive
fifteen miles from different parts of the city or take
(09:48):
a train or a bus. And when they start to
see other communities living differently up against barriers in their
own city, and they start to think about how might
I give to this community or or with a community
group that's already working here, it starts to open their eyes.
So that's why I call it a learning journey. And
then I think you can start to connect people with Okay,
(10:11):
you've learned something about say maybe it's moms and little
kids and how difficult life is in the backyard of
where you live for them. Um, but you can also say,
imagine what it's like for a woman who is giving
birth under these circumstances in a different part of the world.
And you can start to connect the local to the
(10:32):
global and and start to help people see and particularly
using the Internet and some of the images. I think
everybody understands that when a family has money, it unlocks
things for a family, right, whether it's more groceries, or
more schooling for the kids, or a step up so
they can start a business. You know, people going online
(10:52):
and understanding what does hef for international do in other
countries around the world. Wow, you can imagine how a
small flock of chicks might actually lead to chickens that
lay eggs that can the eggs can be eaten for
nutrition and go on the market. So I think sometimes
we have to help people connect the local to the global. Yeah,
I mean, have you found that if you can make
(11:16):
not only that connection, but if you can make them
feel like there's no small amount of gift. In other words,
if you say this amount of money will get you
a mosquito netting that will stop a child from getting there,
you know this amount of money will pay for a crib, definitely.
And I think people want to know that if they
(11:37):
give something, whether they're giving twenty dollars or or a
hundred dollars, they want to know that actually has impact. Right.
And so again, if you go back to going on
the internet and buying somebody a small flock of chicks,
which does not cost much at all, there um lots
of organizations that do that, you can actually see an
(11:58):
impact on a family. And so for me, like for
my kids, they used to kind of create wish lists
that they wanted for Christmas. I expected on their risk lists,
besides maybe the makeup they wanted or the soccer ball,
that they had some organizations and specific things they wanted
to give to. And so we would often at holiday
time they might receive one or two things to themselves
(12:19):
and something for another family. And so just by doing
that research, they started to realize, oh, you know that
my parents might spend on me for this item. Wow,
that could go a long way in another part of
the world. Um, I'm sure you've gotten this pushback. I
find that there's a lot of cynicism sometimes when you
(12:40):
want to be an active giver, because you start to
read stories or you hear from people, Oh, I gave
this money to this organization and it actually never even
went there. So people start to get very, um a
cynical about being givers because they go, oh, well, I
don't even know if my money is going to that.
(13:00):
So how do you address that when people start to
mistrust organizations and how do you check that? Well, I
would say, you know, whoever you give to, you should
expect to understand where your money went. That's that's a
real thing and you should expect that. But I would
also say they're unbelievable organizations who have been out doing
this work for a very long time. You know, if
(13:22):
you're concerned that you send your money internationally and you
might not know where it's going or you don't know
this organization, you can also go online through donors choose
and say, oh, there's a teacher advertising that he or
she needs a printer for their classroom, or here she
needs school supplies for the kids. I cannot tell you
how many classrooms in the United States were teachers take
(13:43):
out of their own salary to buy supplies for the
kids in the classroom. It is not hard to imagine
that classroom supplies go a long way for having a
class that actually works. So I think there are lots
of ways. You just have to do a little bit
of investigation and on your own, and it's not hard
to find credible information. I also tell people go ask
(14:04):
a friend, go ask somebody else who's done there giving,
who feels really good about it. And if you start
to get cynical, go out in the community and see
what's actually going on. That is often really inspiring. Donors
Choose is such a fantastic organization and a good one
for kids because they can they can choose what they
(14:25):
want to give. There's a lot more to come after
the short break and we're back. UM. Since Roe versus
Wade has been overturned, UM, there's been a lot of fundraising,
(14:50):
community outreach, a lot of Twitter threads, all kinds of
stuff going on. As women are trying to come together
not only to help other women in our country, but
again try to have some kind of a global reach.
And I'm curious how you are seeing the philanthropic world
right now, and what do you think is the most
(15:13):
impactful thing women like me can do. Well? I think
there are a number of things that we can do.
Um let me just start by saying I was in
Rwanda when the decision came out that drove versus weight
had been overturned, and the Wandon's turned to me and said,
how can this be. We look to your country to
have good laws on the books that protect people. How
(15:36):
in your own country could you have a law in
the books almost fifty years for women and it be
rolled back. I didn't have an answer for that, And um,
so this is a decision that had ripples around the world.
And what I know though to be true and what
we all saw in this most recent election is voters
(15:57):
came out and said not okay, not okay. And I
think you know, many people were very, very worried about okay,
given the timing of when that got overturned, would it
actually show up at the polls in November? And guess
what it did? Because you cannot roll back a basic
right for women that protects women and protects bodily autonomy.
(16:19):
So I think it doesn't just take the philanthropic community.
I think it takes all of us, using our voices.
We need to vote. What I was so pleased to
see was lots and lots of groups coming together to
get out the vote of young people, get out the
vote of women, get out the vote of people who
are like minded, and then I think the philanthropic community.
(16:40):
What I'm seeing is many of the philanthropists talking to
one another and saying, how do we also make sure
that women have contraceptives, they know about them, they're educated
about their body, and they have access to them, because
that is a key, key, key tool so that women
don't even get into the situation of needing to have
(17:00):
an abortion. So I've been proud to see the philanthropic
community come together around that and more funding go towards
family planning and or contraceptives. And that needs to happen
not just in the US but around the world. Oh yes,
for sure. But it was incredibly exciting to see how
everybody mobilized and how uh like everybody came together and
(17:23):
did the push. It shows you that it can work, right.
I mean, I think that anybody who gets discouraged saying wow,
my voice and my vote made a difference. Um, that's powerful. Yes.
And I also think that when we look at particularly
this subject of women in our country right now, particularly
(17:46):
after ROVERSUS it has been overturned. I think as women,
we can we can see that we all have our superpowers. Meaning,
you know, there are some people that have money and
that's great, and that's a superpower. That's something that you
can bring to the table that is incredibly impactful. And
(18:07):
you know, you could just be loud on social media,
you could be a marcher. You know, you could be
an organizer. Uh. I think a way of sort of
closing the systemic inequities is to say everybody has an
important piece to the puzzle. Absolutely, And I think we
need to start saying to ourselves it's not okay anymore.
(18:28):
It just is not okay. It never should have been
okay for somebody else to make decisions for women versus
women having the seat at the table and making the
decisions for themselves. We make different policy when we are
represented well. So one of the things I've been really
looking at is, you know, women's power and influence. We
(18:51):
need far more women in our halls of Congress. And
yes we've ticked up some in this most recent election,
more female governors. I think of Congress is now female.
But we have no black woman, not one single black
woman in our Senate, not one. And I don't know
about you, but when I look out in society, I
(19:12):
see a lot different representation than I see in the
halls of Congress. And so until we get more female governors,
more females in the state legislatures, more females in Congress
and in the Senate, you're going to continue to have
a Supreme Court that looks the way it looks today,
because who puts our Supreme Court into place this current Senate,
(19:34):
which is a majority of white males and who are
happened to be a bit older. So you know, society
is changed, It has changed in the last fifty years,
but the Supreme Court hasn't caught up to that. And
so all the more we need to vote with our feet.
We need to use our money. We need to teach
women to run. We have to cut the harassment in
(19:56):
running back. We need to fund female candidates because we
need to be represented in our halls of Congress the
way we look in society. So if I'm listening to
this podcast right now, I go, She's right. God, I
love Melinda French Gates. She is so right. What could
I possibly do? You can do so many things. You
(20:16):
can do what you just did and show up in
the last election. You can get out the vote with
young people in the next election. You can get out
the vote with different groups. You can decide you're going
to write Congress. You can go and help a women's
organization who's doing the hard work on the ground of
educating girls about their bodies and making sure they have contraceptives.
(20:39):
You can stand up and say it's not okay by
me that we are the only the only wealthy country
in the world that doesn't have paid family medical leave.
When I was in Rwanda this summer, because their parliament
after the genocide was put into law that there would
be far more parliamentarians I think would be women. It's
(21:02):
today six women. Rwanda has a paid family medical leave
on the books because the women helped get it on
the books. Their society has changed, but we still have
a country where we can't get through the Senate we
tried hard, we couldn't get it done to get paid
family medical leave. And yet we know our families are
(21:22):
better off when the woman and the man can take
time at the birth of their child and have some
wage replacement. It's it's not enough any longer to make
sure a woman can get a job in society. If
there's nobody to take care of her kids, and we
expect her to take care of the kids or the
aging parents, we can't accept that anymore. I mean, is
(21:43):
there power in having a lot of bigger foundations and
organizations come together and merge on certain topics. Absolutely, and
that is actually happening. And it's not just the foundations,
it's also the grassroots organized. There's like a group called
Mom's Rising working with the organizations in d C who
(22:06):
are trying to create this change. It has to go
across all of society, civil society saying no more. We're
gonna rise up and tell our state House we want
paid family medically with wage replacement. So you've got to
bring the community together, and not just a philanthropist, but
of activists too. And let's talk about activism for for
(22:26):
a minute. In this world, do you see, particularly with
what we're talking about. Now, do you actually see like
the Women's March, which was the most numbers ever of
any march, But do you see that kind of activism
move the needle at all? Absolutely? I mean, look, if
you go back, just in a short period of history
(22:49):
in the US, what finally God the Vietnam War to stop?
What got our government to say, wait a minute, wait
a minute. We put ourselves in a situation that Americans
are telling us they don't want. It was the protesting
that happened over in a sustained period of time. So
I do see and believe and know that when we
march for what we know is right for women, for family,
(23:12):
for our country, it does create change. Do you think
the biggest hurdle right now for women is the reversal
of reversus waved? I think there are a number of
really big hurdles in our country for women. I think
one of them has to do with women not being
in key leadership roles. Just take across industries, there's not enough.
(23:35):
There's no industry where you can say, look, females are
the majority. So take the take the finance sector, that's
what funds our society. You don't see women at the
tops of most of the banks, look at the tech sector.
It is creating our society, right. I'm sad to say
that when I was in college in the late nineteen
(23:56):
eightiest of computer science gradual for women were down to
thirty two. So if we're not creating sitting at the
table creating products, you're seeing some of the societal effects.
If you don't have the women at the top of
representation in state houses at at least an equal level,
then you're gonna get policies if the state hellouse or
(24:19):
the federal level of what you're seeing. So we have
got to elevate women's power and their influence. And until
we do that, we're going to keep seeing things kind
of go forward, but then roll back, go forward, and
then roll back. What do you say to your daughters,
I say to my daughters, use your voice, use anything
(24:40):
you have. I say the same thing to my son.
So I have a daughter's twenty, a son who's twenty three,
and a daughter who's twenty and I started realizing, in
terms of living my values. I was not speaking out
about these women's issues until about two thousand and twelve.
I started advocating for contraceptives because I saw the need,
I heard a need from women around the world. But
(25:02):
when I came home and realized I was saying to
my children to use their voice, I realized I needed
to use my voice more fully. And so I feel
like as a mom, I try and role model for
them what I know. I am deeply proud of my
three children. But I'll just say about the one who's
in college right now, she's twenty. Boy, was she out
there really using her voice about vote in this election.
(25:26):
It's vital to women, And so I tell them, you know,
they have a lot of power in their voice and
in their platforms and with any earnings that they make
or when they used to have an allowance even to
put a little bit of a aside and make sure
that they do something smart with that money. That's how
they learned and did they have They created their own
(25:48):
kind of passions about what they want to see change
or where they want to put their money and activism towards.
Absolutely that's different from yours. Yes, well, in some cases
it's absolutely different than ours. And in one of the
cases it's becoming a little bit more clear that it's
in an area that I'm already passionate about. I was
lucky enough to be able to take all three kids
(26:11):
when they were young, out to the developing world multiple times,
and they would even notice things I wouldn't see when
I would take them, for instance, into a township. Um.
They spent time actually living with families, sometimes with me,
some on their own in other countries. And when you
do that, you start to learn what a tiny place
(26:32):
in our case they were born and grew up in Seattle,
what a tiny speck on the map Seattle is right,
And how privileged we are to live in the United
States and to even have the educational system that we have.
And I think when you do that, or you work
at the food bank, which we did every year, you
start to realize I have something to give and that
(26:53):
they should be expected to give back over time, and
they are. It's amazing how much gratitude plays a part
in all of that. Huge, which is why I've always said,
you know, if you can get your kids to the
food pantry, sorting clothes, if you can get them immersed
in it, let them see it, let them understand it. Um,
(27:15):
the gratitude and the empathy, you know, comes into play,
and then they become people that eventually hopefully get back
when they're older and it's time for a short break.
(27:37):
Welcome back to go. Ask Alli, what do you worry
about the most when it comes to philanthropy. What keeps
you up at night? I worried that people don't see
others in need. If you if you're not looking and
you only live in your community and you don't branch
(27:57):
out more, you don't often see the needs that are
right around you. And I think it's our empathy and
opening our hearts that get us to give. And I
think sometimes people also mistake philanthropy is oh, well, if
a philanthropist does it, then I don't have to do it,
or then my government doesn't have to do it. No.
(28:19):
In fact, it takes all of society working together. It
takes philanthropic dollars, money and time. It takes civil society
who's trying to raise their voices about issues, and it
takes government funding to actually change the world. And so
I worry sometimes that people stop realizing that, you know,
(28:40):
we actually can change the world. Doesn't take very many
of us, like a small group of committed individuals that
does actually change the world. You know, it's It's interesting
because you know, I'm I'm involved with a lot of
organizations and I have a friend who has a foundation
and we're working to end the rape backlog that kits
(29:01):
And for me, I love to say to people when
I'm trying to fundraise that, God, wouldn't it be this
amazing thing if all of us women got together and
ended the rape kit backlog. Wouldn't that make us sleep
well at night? You know? So sometimes it's great to
have a goal, you know what I mean, and bring
(29:21):
people together for that. Definitely. So, Melinda, in your master class,
which is the greatest way to learn how to be involved,
you talk about how somebody begins to be a giver.
Can you talk a little bit about how somebody uh
sort of discovers an organization or something they feel passionate
(29:45):
about and what the steps are to becoming involved in it.
So I normally tell people start with your values, you know,
reflect on your values of how did you grow up,
what do you believe, who are you, who do you
want to be in the world, And spend some time
reflecting on that in quiet and then writing those down
and maybe even refining them. And then once you know
(30:07):
what your values are. Then I think going and connecting
with people in the community. You can start either if
you're part of a church group through that, if you
have kids in school, you can see what volunteer opportunities
others are doing in your school. You can go out
and do a little bit of research in in the
community or on the internet. You can go to the library.
But I think doing a bit of research first and
(30:30):
connecting with others, then you'll start to see who are
the organizations that I want to get behind in the community,
either with my time or my voice, or my expertise
or my money. Once you have those values, I think
then it's in you do some research. Then I think
it's easier to say, oh, I want to go with
this organization instead of that one. Um. In a perfect world, Melinda,
(30:56):
you're a hundred and two and you're sitting outside i'd
with a little blanket on your lap and your grandchildren
frolicking in the grass. What would be a fantastic legacy
for you? What would you like to sit back on
your little down pillow and go, well, I did this,
(31:17):
I think just for them to know that I felt lucky,
lucky enough to be able to lift up some other families,
whether it's hundreds or thousands, or maybe it's even more
than that. If I'm lucky in my case that I
lifted up other people and I was there for others
(31:39):
in addition to our family. Um. And if I've done that,
I think I will feel pretty proud talking to my grandchildren.
And hopefully there are many. Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure
there will be many. I love everything you're doing, and
I'm just so I'm grateful you came and just talk
(32:01):
to me about sort of everything you're thinking and what's
going on, and and before I let you go and
save the world. Um. In my podcast, I ask a
lot of questions and then I allow my guests at
the end to ask me anything anything. It could be
a recipe, it could be something deeply personal about my husband,
whatever you want. So I turned to you, Lynd and say,
(32:23):
what what would you like to ask Ali? Well, I'd
like to ask you Ali, as we are getting here
near the end of the year, what has given you
the most joy this year? Oh? What a wonderful question. Um,
what has given me? I'll tell you a few things,
(32:45):
and I'll tell you one that's more in line with
what we're talking about what has given me joy is
I have a daughter in college. I have my youngest
who's a senior in high school. And I was very
conscious this year of being as present as I could
with my younger daughter because I knew she was leaving
(33:07):
and I just wanted to be with her and whatever
that looked like, if whether we were watching a movie,
or we were cooking together, or you know, I was
bothering her because I was asking her questions about her boyfriend,
whatever it was, I thought, I'm just gonna eat up
every last second I can with my daughter. That has
(33:27):
given me great joy. Um. And you know, just to
continue sort of what we've been talking about here, George
and I are big believers in giving back. And we
had heard about this young boy in Haiti who had
been mauled by a group of wild dogs and a
(33:47):
doctor friend of ours was gonna, you know, do through
the surgery on him. He was coming up to New York.
And you know, George and I helped this boy, a
boy that I met very briefly but we'll never see again.
You know, we have no connection to this child. But
if somebody says to you that, you know, this boy
(34:11):
is going to live or die and we just need
some help. Of course, my God, of course. And this
child is now after many many many surgeries, he's back
in his his country and he's you know, playing soccer
and he's he's living a life. But it was such
(34:32):
a incredible gift to help somebody else. And it's those
moments that I find incredibly fulfilling. And it's to be
off us, you know what I mean, Like we're good,
we have everything we need. What do you need? You know? Um?
And I have a mother who's getting older, and to
(34:54):
know that she's happy and you know, lifting her weights
and and she's she's cared for, you know, as long
as my extended family. Everybody's okay. I'm very grateful, but
thank you. It was a long winded answer that was
so beautiful. Oh my gosh. I agree. It's all about family,
(35:15):
friends and doing meaningful work. It really is. There's an
old Emerson quote, Ralph Waldo. Emerson says that success is
to know that even one life has breathed easier because
you have lived. That is to have succeeded so perfect.
Think that's what you're doing. I love it. You, my God.
(35:36):
You ended my podcast on such a fantastic note. Thank you, Melenda,
Thank you so much. Thank you for listening to Go
Ask Ali. Check out Melenda's book The Moment of Lift,
and you can see Melenda's masterclass on philanthropy at masterclass
dot com. Give back this holiday season because now more
(35:57):
than ever, people do need your help. For more info
and what you heard in this episode, check out our
show notes and be sure to subscribe, rate and review.
Go Ask Aali and follow me on social media on
Instagram at the Real Ali Wentworth Now. If you'd like
to ask me a question or suggested guest or a
topic to dig into, I'd love to hear from you,
(36:19):
and there's a bunch of ways you can do it.
You can call or text me at three to three
three four six three five six, or you can email
a voice memo right from your phone to Go Ask
Gali podcast at gmail dot com. If you leave a question,
you just might hear it. I Go Ask Alli. Go
(36:45):
Ask Gali is a production of Shonda land Audio and
partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shonda
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