Plain Glass, Stain Glass with Pastor Chad Hovind 11/5/2025

This week's topic is Stress.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Pastor Chad Hoven, lead pastor at the Horizon Community Church
right there in Newtown along the banks of the Little
Miami River. What a beautiful morning it is, Pastor Chad.
How are you today?

Speaker 2 (00:14):
I'm doing pretty well.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
How about yourself?

Speaker 1 (00:15):
No complaints, absolutely, none of us. Very I got a
little broken up here talking about that new exhibit that
is starting down at the Cincinnati Museum Center about Auschwitz,
and boy, if people go to Cincinnati Museum dot org
they will see.

Speaker 3 (00:36):
Just some of the pictures video. It just tears you.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Okay, I tell you what else tears people up this
time of year at Chad. We're getting into the holidays,
and it's a time of great joy, of thankfulness, of celebration,
hopefully spending a lot of time with family and friends.
It is also, I would imagine you tell me from
your shoes, walking in your shoes, it has to be

(01:02):
one of the most stressful times of the year for
a lot of folks out there.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Well with that a doubt in fact, if you think
about just what we try and accomplish just in Christmas time,
for example, you're going to if I told you any
other month in the next thirty days, you're going to
have five different parties, You're going to buy gifts for
everybody you know, you're going to travel to three different
locations and on, and you're going to decorate the house.

Speaker 3 (01:24):
You can tear everything down.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
You'd think I would never try and do all that
in one thirty day period of time. So just the
nature what we take on, and part of those are
all wonderful experiences or attempts to create wonderful environments, but
just the amount we take on in preparing for that.
And then yes, you're with people that you love and
care about, but also people that drive you crazy. And
so in what sense we're all stressed up, all stressed up,

(01:48):
but no place to go. And so I do think
learning how to deal with our stress. Having expectations often
causes stress too, because you're like, hey, I know everyone's
going to get along. Well they never given not everyone
has ever gotten along ever before. Yeah, it's normal to misunderstanding.
It's normal for you know, one person doesn't want this

(02:11):
or wants to eat it this time. So I think
a lot of it with stress is setting your expectation.
And also I think understanding where stress comes from and
how to handle.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
It can be helpful because especial needs dad.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
One thing I learned over sixteen years, you know, I've
had a special needs son with severe autism, is my
circumstances weren't going to change radically. You know, I had
a stressful situation. I think for many of us, we
think stress is something that happens to you versus something
happens in you. There's a big difference. Now that's not
to say they aren't triggers when things happen. Yes, tho's

(02:45):
happened to me. But two people can encounter the exact
same circumstance and handle it very differently. Well, that tells
you something, That tells you that stress is not primarily
what happens to you, is what happens in you.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
How are you going to process that?

Speaker 2 (02:59):
I like and sometimes the stress of because ongoing chaos
of special needs was like driving a car from here
to Chicago. And just so when you hop in the
car with me, I locked the doors and say, hey,
by the way, I enjoy your ride to Chicago.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
By the way, there's two wasts here.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
One of the wasts you can see is right there
on your windshield.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
The other one, I'm not sure where it is. Enjoy
your ride, and.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
That's how it feels. Sometimes it's like I know one
of the things I need to deal with, there's another
one hiding in this car, and I can occasionally hear
the buzz. What happens then, is your whole body, your
inner RPM goes up, like you know, seven thousand RPMs,
and you're like, well, I need to call myself back
down to one thousand rpm.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
I can't. There's two wasps in this car.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
One I can see, and one's going to bite me
at any minute or sting me in minutes. So part
of what I had to learn is there were often
two wasps, one I knew about and one I didn't.
Almost every day, I need to learn how to the
one not say my circumstance is going to change to
get me destressed if something happened in me. I need
to learn how to better manage the things. I have

(03:59):
to think about it differently. And then I had to
practice getting that rpm. I could never get it quite
down to one thousand rpm, but I can move from
eight to five. And part of that's what scientists called neuroplasticity,
and that's the ability to actually kind of reform your
physical brain with your mind, How am I going to
think about this? How can I process that? I've mentioned

(04:21):
this before, but one thing helps with stress is what
I call hippo wrestling. A lot of times you think
you're dealing with the real issue, but you're actually dealing
with your hip thalmas. And so when you get triggered
for stress, it kind of goes in three stages. Stage
one is there's a trigger, and it could be something
happens to you. It could be I think about something
that might happen. If I'm a warrior, I could be

(04:41):
my own trigger. Well, then what happens is your hippocampus
or a hippothalmis kicks in. It begins to release adrenaline
and cortisol, and you kick into what's called fight or fight.
So back to my wasp example, You're like, oh my goodness,
I think I hear the wasp. I wonder if it's
over here? Do I need to fight? Am I gonna
have to swing at this thing? Am I going to
have to jump out of the car? And so that's
why your RPM goes up because that hippo campus is

(05:04):
kicked in. Well, that hip the canvas that can help
your mini arenas can lie to you. Sometimes you don't
have a need to be triggered.

Speaker 4 (05:11):
But you said, I got the stippo squeezing all the
stressed into you, freezing, squeezing all this this cortisol on
you and adrenaline, and then you get stuck there and
the where top chronic stresses.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
You don't realize your hippothomas is uh is taken over.
And so part of hippo wrestling is learning, am I
really dealing with a real issue or am I dealing.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
With my reaction to real issue?

Speaker 2 (05:34):
How can I think about this differently? How can I
process differently?

Speaker 1 (05:38):
You know, you use a word that I think that
I mean the older I get, and we all try
to do things better each and every day. Sometimes we succeed,
oftentimes we take two steps back. But it's that word expectations.
Give me an example of what you would say to
somebody you used, you know, Okay, here comes fan. They're

(06:00):
going to be staying at our house. Man, We're all
going to get along great well. In reality, we probably know,
if we're honest with ourselves, which we infrequently are, truth
be told that there's going to be some stress. So,
you know, kind of going back to what we talked
about a couple of weeks ago, sort of setting your expectations,
maybe having a conversation ahead of time before people come in.

(06:23):
Would you suggest things like that?

Speaker 2 (06:27):
I do think it's helpful because often, you know, when
you have multiple personalities in the room, I'll go in
family dynamics, and beforehand, I'll say, Hey, like, what time
do you like to get up early? What time do
you want to do stuff? And so you're trying to
kind of set expectations on how things work. Hey, some
people like to sleep in, some people don't. Hey, really
would be helpful if you didn't bring up that subject.

(06:48):
So I'll even start respectfully though, Hey, you're an adult,
you can do whatever you want. But as I was
thinking about who's going to be together, I think it
might be helpful if would you be willing to lots
of questions, a lot of respectful keeping my tone down.
What I'm also trying to say, I'd like to make
this the best experience possible for everybody, And I do
think that can be helpful. And I think internally it's

(07:09):
almost like I don't know if you remember the old
cassette tapes or eight track buyers, but sometimes when family
gets together, you don't realize that you're playing old tapes
in your mind, like maybe your brother drove you crazy.
He always talked disrespectful of you. Well maybe that's still true.
But every time he opens his mouth or your sister
opens her mouth, you're playing, you know, rispect in the

(07:29):
back of your head. And so whatever they say, you're
interpreting it through the music, the background noise of feeling disrespected.
And if you can instead say, you know, I need
to turn down my background music and realize that maybe
I'm not reacting to what they're saying. I'm reacting to
this old tape from the past. And that's where kind
of move from stained glass to I'm playing glass of

(07:50):
stained glass. The Bible says that one way you can
handle stress is you take every thought captive, and part
of those expectations are what was I expecting here?

Speaker 3 (07:58):
Was that a realistic expectation?

Speaker 2 (08:00):
I really need to have that expectation, you know, is
it really that important that I die on every single
hill here? And then on the other side, the Bible says,
renew your mind, and so you can think differently about this.
You know, is it okay that your family doesn't get along. Well,
there's the difference between everyone should be happy all the
time at Christmas. Okay, Well you could try that right crazy,

(08:20):
or you can say I'd like everyone to get along,
but it's okay if they don't, but we're going to
have try and have a good time as often as possible.
That's a very different background noise. Otherwise, you every time
conflict and again I'm a person who doesn't like conflict either,
but every time you hear conflict coming, the background music
starts playing Jaws.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
You know, yehahn, I'm thinking about to blow.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
Up, done dying, and that blows up because it's the
selfilling prophecy versus Hey, you know what, the kids are
going to sometimes disagree on politics or whatever it is.
But I might call in the dance and say, hey, guys,
we know those different opinion politics and the family.

Speaker 3 (08:52):
Before we get to the kitchen table.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
I know you got some wonderful singers about whatever your
political side is.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
Could you not do those at.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
The their table if you and that person want to
go have a conversation, you know, in the other room
later on.

Speaker 3 (09:04):
Because you enjoy that.

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Kind of thing, A lot of us don't enjoy that
kind of thing. And I've got a couple of family
members who like that. They love talking politics, and they
love engaging in debates other people drives them crazy, So
I wouldn't say at the table sometimes, hey we all
know that so and so the politics driver crazy. So hey,
let's hold that off till later and just enjoy the meal.
Or hey, we put a card on your table for Thanksgiving.

(09:28):
We're going to talk about things we're thankful for today,
and so we'll do a little guided.

Speaker 3 (09:32):
Questions and things like that.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
But I do think it's appropriate. And sometimes you can't
control it, you know, you can't control people or circumstances.
Other times sometimes you can guide it gently, nudget or
at least try and ask everyone for mutual respect. So
that I think, I think underneath the stress level and
the triggers that people have and the hippos kind of
get kicked in and a family gathering, I think people would.

Speaker 3 (09:54):
Like to enjoy themselves. I think the whole world.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
But of course, we you travel to your travel, the
kids are upset, yeah, and we got managed to them.
So so you're not at your best either. You're not
sleeping your same mattress. So even then to say everyone
is not in the best circumstance, meaning thirty days of
trying to do a thousand things. I'm going to give
double doses of patience, double doses of grace. I'm going
to assume the best. I think if if we would

(10:21):
just come into circumstances with family and say more often
than not, I'm going to give the benefit of doubt,
and I'm going to assume the best.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
And I'm going to.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
Imagine that someone is carrying something.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
That I don't know. Like if I told you, hey,
someone got really ticked off at you today in.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
Traffic or mad at you or an employee or a coworker,
and you were telling me the story, but how inappropriate
was and I said, well, did you know they just
found out they got cancer. Your whole perspective would change.
It still doesn't mean that what they said was appropriate
or way the handle is appropriate, but suddenly that stress
would be Oh, I can change my mindset and have

(11:00):
some compassion towards the person rather than irritation as a person.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
Now that's the first one.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
So you know, my instinct is to judge and to
you know, realize, you know, thea shod me handling that
correctly blah blah blah blah. I would have done that.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
Of course I would have done that.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
So I think they have and some perspective can really
help you, but everyone around you as well.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
You know, I talked about a study that came out
not a study, where a former head of the psychiatric
division of the FDA came out yesterday and talked about
how antidepressants, in his estimation, are so overprescribed. In your job,

(11:42):
So much of your job as a pastor is to
walk people through some very tough days and nights. You
hear all the time, Man, I'm so stressed out. Are
are we saying we're more stressed out than we are?
Or are we really more? Are stressed out? Now more
than ever?

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Well, the word is stressed became popular in nineteen seventies
as kind of normal vernacular. Who's actually developed in nineteen
thirties and forties by an endocrinologist, and he defined it
as a non specific response to a demand for change.
And so I think it has become like the go
to thing to say, and like I say, how you doing,
I'm busy and I'm stressed, the two things everybody does.

(12:27):
So I do think it's become the current vernacular for
describing things, and I think it's actually kind of a
deficiency of being able to say what's really going on.
I'm worried, I'm fearful, I'm angry.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
It's like stresses, this.

Speaker 2 (12:40):
Neutral word that we all accept as appropriate versus kind
of being more honest. But I think also a little
philosophy for a second. We're living in a culture of materialism.
I mean, we think human beings roaming material. So if
you're roaming material, then we just need to give you
a medicine that's going to help take care of your
material body. If you realize the human beings are both
material and i material, meaning they have a soul, what

(13:03):
you think, what you feel, and what you want, as
well as a body, then you say, oh, my spiritual dimension,
my soul is dimension. I can handle this with medicine, yes,
but also with learning how to talk about my feelings,
learning how to take captive the feelings that are inaccurate,
learning how to renew my mind and think better thoughts
towards the circumstance. So I think it's a whole philosophical

(13:23):
problem that we don't realize human beings are far more
than just you know, meat facts that can be medicated.
We're souls, and think about it, like when you're stressed.
When we're stressed, we talk to ourselves. If you're a worrier,
I wonder if this happens, when this happens, What this happens,
and change reaction, anxiety. You're talking to yourself even anger fantasies. Right,

(13:44):
you're here, I'm guys, this conflict my boss, and I'm
going to say this, and I'm going to say that.
I'm like, you know, just see, you're talking to yourself.
What if there was another source, a person to talk to,
you know, I would call it prayer. You call it meditation.
But instead of talking to yourself, well, when you have
a problem, what if you could talk to someone who's
the ultimate source of strength and comfort and wisdom. Well,

(14:06):
just sayre at sound smarter, doesn't it? I know all
my resources talking to myself, and I already know my
limited resources. If I could have figured this out, I
probably would have. I need outside wisdom, outside strength. So
God says that you can cast all your anxieties upon him.
You can take every thought captive, you can renew your mind.
You can meditate on things that are good and pure

(14:26):
in a good rapport, and you can reach out to
him and say, God, I need wisdom to handle the situation.
I can't control the universe or my mother in law
or my kids, but I do want you to help
me control how I'm going to handle it.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
It's great stuff, great great stuff. We can continue this topic,
I think for multiple weeks because there are a lot
of people that and each and every one of us
is one of them. Where we have all these expectations,
we get stressed out ahead of time, we get stressed
out during and maybe just a deep breath, maybe a conversation,
maybe prayer, can help dramatically change that. Chad, we thank

(15:02):
you so much for your time and your expertise. I
know we're going to miss you next week, but we'll
look forward to catching up with.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
You the week after. Sounds great. I appreciate it all right,
ask you, Chad.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
Open from the Horizon Community Church. Great Stuff, Plain Glass,
Stained Glass every Wednesday at eight thirty eight